Sorry for the wait, enjoy!

Standing behind Joker, I couldn't help but bounce a little in place, waiting for the door to open so I could run away as fast as my shaking legs would carry me. I'd said good-bye to everyone except Mordin because, well, he was oddly creepy and could lick his eyeballs, so I was ready to rip the band-aid off and be gone.

I had also gotten my newly upgraded omni tool back from Kasumi with the assurance that Garrus had looked it over and added some applications he thought I would find useful. Apparently he was not speaking to me but told her to tell me he knew he would be hearing from me soon. Ha, he loves me.

Zaeed was standing behind me chatting with Miranda about the plan to get her sister out, "Are you sure this 'friend' of yours is reliable? I've known people for years and had them turn on me in a heartbeat for the right amount of credits."

She shook her head almost violently, "He helped me to get away from my father. I'm sure he wouldn't betray Ori, he knows what's at stake."

I had to bite my tongue, because like Zaeed, I'd seen people double back on promises for the highest bidder no matter what was at stake. The fate of a school, city, even an entire country all had their own price, why did she think the fate of her sister would be so paramount to this man?

Unless, "Miranda, did you have a relationship with this guy?" It was out of my mouth before I could stop it, and I was facing her, waiting for an answer as if I deserved one.

As shocked by my question as I was, she hesitated then gave me a death stare, "That would have no bearing on the situation."

Zaeed shook his head, "I disagree, that could have more bearing than your sister's life, depending on the man."

"Regardless we have to get Oriana out and to safety," John stated plainly as he approached, fully armed and armored, stopping to stand next to Miranda and face Zaeed. "We will deal with things as they progress. Joker, ETA."

"Docking is almost complete," Joker sped out as his fingers flew across the control screen. "And, there. All set, you can start the decompression process."

My heart sped up, first because the door was about to open and second because Shepard was an arm's length away from me and had yet to even glance in my direction, much less make eye contact. Realizing I was again being an asshole for expecting anything, I swallowed as I turned away to stare at the door. Seriously Hackett, get a fucking grip! You're leaving, it's over, move the fuck on.

'Hey Sam," Zaeed's voice broke through my mental torment. My eyes snapped to meet his. A glint of understanding flashed between us, in stark contrast to what came out of his mouth. "I'll be in touch when we get back about that thing we discussed." A wink and a smirk, then he walked through the now open doorway.

We had discussed an exchange of information. Basically he would provide whatever intel he had on Cerberus, which I was told was a LOT, and I would supply him with Alliance info on his remaining frenemies. I saw no harm in it, sick a killer on those we want dead and get some info on TIM, win-win. Keeping my countenance even, I followed closely behind the older man.

I got to the end of the landing platform and heard John's voice, "What was that about?" Thinking he was talking to me, my heart fluttered as I turned to face him, but then I saw he was looking at Miranda. A strange sense of disappointment came over me but I recovered quickly and turned, walking away as fast as my still-shaking legs could carry me. I could have sworn I felt his eyes on my back, but it may have been just wishful thinking. Just let it go. You're off the ship and no longer in his life, now is the time to start a life of your own. Here. In the FUCKING FUTURE.

That thought nearly took the breath out of me, so as I got around the corner, I walked into the first alcove I found and, sure I was out of sight, fell back against the nearest wall, unceremoniously sliding to the floor. Taking a few ragged breaths, I tried desperately to slow my racing heart. Alone, you really are alone now Sam. I felt tears start to well up, which I pushed away with the palms of my hands, cursing myself for becoming so reliant on one man, letting him get so close and then being unable to do something so simple as maintain a modicum of independence. Stupid, stupid STUPID! Dammit Hackett, look at the mess you've gotten yourself into this time!

Everyone on that ship knew my situation and was at least accepting of it, if not empathetic. People understood I had questions and were patient with me, but what will happen when I go back to Earth? Wait, will I even go back to Earth? What if I end up serving on another alien planet and- NO. I shook my head, determined to get a hold of myself. That's enough, freak-out is officially over. Taking a slow, deep breath, I commanded my mind to cease and desist. You will do as you are told, you are no stranger to this place and time now, you will adjust. You will persevere.

I decided at that moment to treat the situation as I would any other op, accept my circumstances and move forward.

Smearing the last remnants of salt from my eyes and catching my breath, I took out a mirror to check my face and make a few adjustments. Accepting the result, I snapped it shut and took another breath, then moved to standing. Closing my eyes to steady myself, I was determined to get my head out of my ass so I headed back out into the walkway like nothing happened, as if my life hadn't just changed in a very drastic way, and not even for the first time in the last six months.

Holy-what-the-fuck woman?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'd memorized the map of the main thoroughfare and found the doorway I was supposed to go through easily. Knocking three times, stopping, then twice, the door opened to a small room with an Asari holding the door knob.

She looked at me calmly and expectantly, "Can I help you?"

I gave her a polite nod, "I'm looking for the man who sells derringers, do you know where I could find them?" Gotta love the Alliance and their codes. A stupid one at that, as I was pretty sure they didn't even MAKE derringers anymore, but putting an accent on the correct syllables of each word was key. She nodded and opened the door to allow me entry. A few moments later I was in front of a large screen with a scanning pad the size of a hand.

Placing my hand on the small rectangle, it became warm as the light scanned my palm then confirmed my identity, "Samantha Hackett, please wait as we process your contact."

The screen went from black to gray, then, a few minutes later, a man's visage appeared, "Sam, is everything alright?" Steven's voice was rough and worried.

I smiled and nodded, "Yes, everything- well, everyone is alright." I looked down to gather my courage, then back up at the screen. "I've been told my services are no longer required. I've been asked to leave."

His face scrunched in disgust, "Hold." And the screen went black again. I sighed, knowing the response was not going to be favorable and most likely I would be reprimanded. This is definitely a first for you, dumbass. Letting someone get too close then they kick you to the curb. You are fucking brilliant. Apparently your trip through time scrambled what you had left for a brain. When the screen lit up again, Steven had different surroundings and was wearing a gray t-shirt but no hat. "What happened?"

I swallowed, "With my multiple injuries and near-death experiences, Shepard came to the conclusion that he was more concerned about my well-being than the mission, so he decided-" I hesitated, the rest of that sentence wasn't the absolute truth. I swallowed and continued with the truth, "I then asked directly if I was a liability, and he said yes. So here I am."

I could see him mulling the situation over in his head until he opened his mouth again, "You're on Ilium?"

I nodded, "Yes sir."

He nodded back, "Stay there, I'll arrange quarters, we will send someone to get you in a few days." He did something on his omni tool and looked back up at me when my omni tool chimed.

I looked down at it and saw a message with a room # in the habitat district, "Understood. Will they be Alliance or under cover?"

"Alliance," he said. A few moments of silence and he sighed, "You're obviously not alright with this, and I can't blame you, but I saw this coming."

I glared at my great-great-whatever-grand-nephew, "That doesn't help, Steven."

He huffed out a laugh, "I know, but I couldn't help myself. I'm a Hackett, we love being right."

I smirked, "Yeah, kind of a thing with us." I slowly dropped my smile and gave Steven a look of total seriousness and complete concern. "He's going in there without me, Steven."

He sighed, shaking his head as he looked down, then back up at me, "I know. But Vakarian is with him, as are Goto and Krios. And if anyone can navigate that ship through hell and back, it's Joker." Another sigh, "Karen. Shit, she's got to be crazy to follow him."

I shook my head, "Karen is amazing, and one of the few things that keep him focused and sane on that ship. He-" I started to choke up, remembering that I used to be something that kept him focused and sane. Looking down to disguise my hard swallow, I looked back up and took a breath. "He would be lost without her."

A tender look I had never seen before came over his face, "Samantha…"

Shaking my head again, I put my hand over the pad, "I'm gonna go find my room. We'll talk soon. Hackett out."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sitting still has never been an easy task for me, I always felt like I needed to be productive. Even when I was young, if there was a test, I would fly through it and, when I was done, I would ask the teacher what the next assignment would be so I could get started. Drove some of them nuts. So sitting in this room to wait 'a few days' was NOT an option. I unpacked, took a shower, turned on the net and looked up Miranda's father out of curiosity. Once I realized what an asshat he was, I got bored and, strapping my pistol to my right leg, decided to go for a walk.

The only warning I was given about Ilium was 'Don't sign anything' so I assumed wandering was safe for someone who could defend themselves. Given that, I strayed off the beaten path and headed for an industrial district, my curiosity about what kind of work they would be doing so close to housing taking over. Plus, it was a damned good distraction.

As I approached a junction I swore I could hear gun fire in the distance so, instead of doing the smart thing and going in the opposite direction, I carefully headed toward it, readying my weapon. The closer I got the more sure I was that there was an exchange of bullets somewhere close up ahead, so I stayed low and clicked off the safety as I proceeded to the corner. Keeping my body obscured by the wall, I snuck a quick look to scan the area.

There were several heavily armored Asari in cover firing at a small group who appeared to be just as armored. Trying to make out any detail to decide whether or not to get involved, I only caught glimpses of the others until a very obvious gunmetal gray N7 helmet came into view. Shepard.

Picking my first target, I crept to the rear of the Asaris' guard and zeroed in on a sniper who had her right leg extended out behind her for balance. I slowly made my way over and, sure I wasn't noticed, I stomped on the leg. A scream nearly escaped her lips except my hands found her chin and the back of her helmet, twisting quickly and violently to snap her neck before she could alert the others. Confirming again that I hadn't been noticed, I readied the newly acquired rifle and began taking out one target at a time, starting with those furthest back and working my way up… Until I was discovered.

Her biotics flaring, a steady roar came from the Commando to my left as she readied a blast to throw at me when suddenly a bullet whizzed through her head, killing her instantly, her blue hue fizzling out as she fell to the ground. Turning my attention to my right, another had spotted me and trained her gun on me. Remembering I had no armor to speak of, I ducked back into cover and waited until there was a pause in gunfire in my direction. Securing my pistol once again, I propped myself on the crate I'd hidden behind and, seeing my previous threat dead on the ground, found another Commando with her back to me, expelling two shots into the back of her skull.

I ducked back into cover, unsure as to how much attention I had garnered. A few moments later the gunfire had quieted to what I thought to be only two weapons so I scanned the area and found no Asari other than the one Shepard was firing at to my far right. I couldn't help but stare, the dance between the two almost mesmerizing. The actions, reactions, attacks, counter-attacks were so fast that processing them was almost impossible, even to my heavily trained eyes. And then it was as if time slowed for John, and he took three shots with his shotgun straight at her chest. With her shields apparently down, she was done for, falling to the ground with a clatter.

Checking again that it was clear, I decided to announce my presence before popping my head up so as not to be shot at, "Shepard! Miranda! Jacob! It's me, hold your fire!"

Jacob was the first to react, "I saw you there speedy, come on out." The smile in his voice brought a smirk to my lips as I stood, folding the sniper rifle up and carrying it under my arm as I secured my pistol back to my leg and started toward them. Shaking his head, he crossed his arms over his chest, "Ya know, for someone without armor, you fight like a badass. It must just slow you down, you were on fire."

Laughing, I shook my head, "Ass being the operative word there. I never had armor in the field, so it probably does a little." I looked everyone over, "Everyone ok?"

John took off his helmet and gestured toward the shuttle area doors, "Miranda, Jacob, can you give us a minute?" The two gave an understanding nod and made their way to the far side of the warehouse, Jacob giving me a fist bump and a wink as he went by. As if deciding what to say before opening his mouth, the marine clenched his jaw slightly before looking me in the eye, keeping his tone even, empty of emotion. "Do you have a death wish?"

I stuttered, taken completely off guard by the combination of his tone and his words, then immediately became defensive, "Y-Wh-Seriously?!" I gestured to the rest of the warehouse that had been a battleground only a few minutes ago. "You're welcome?" His stance did not change, his expression blank, only his breathing gave away the hint of frustration which in turn just pissed me off. Speaking through gritted teeth, I huffed out a frustrated laugh, "Wait, no, I get it."

I put my hand between us, even though he was about 6 feet away from me, "You've decided in your mind that I am a delicate little flower because someone sent my psyche through space and time which completely destroyed then rewrote the entire cellular structure of my body. Then I got into a fire fight with a fucking ship that tried to kill me." At this point I started to pace, never taking my eyes off his. "THEN an Asari killing machine decided that wasn't enough and tried to kill me but instead ended up completely scrambling what brain cells I had left so yep, I'm like a kitten in a fucking rainstorm. Lost, alone and useless without you." I marched right up to him and shoved the sniper rifle into his chest and got right in his face, sneering up at him. "Does that about sum it up?"

His complexion flushed immediately as he clenched the rifle tight and his jaw even tighter, "You ran into a firefight with no armor and only a pistol to protect yourself. You literally ran toward danger when you weren't even remotely prepared to face it."

I threw up my arms and grinned like a mad woman, "DING DING DING! FINALLY ladies and gentlemen, he gets it, give him a prize!" Motioning to him emphatically, I took a deep and refreshing breath, "Finally you understand who and what I am." Lowering my arms, I shook my head at him and gave him a pitying look as I lowered my voice and spoke slowly. "John, I am a fighter. I am a survivor. I am a loner, a problem-solver, and thanks to you and the crew of the Normandy… I am now a friend." My tone calmed, loving even, I smiled warmly up at him as I took his face in my hands, "And if you can't handle all of that, and I mean all of it…" I paused for a moment to convey my seriousness with my eyes, "then I wish you the best, and hope that one day you will find what you are looking for."

Quickly and tenderly, I kissed his lips and didn't wait for a response, just turned and walked back toward the habitat area. There was nothing more that needed to be said, nothing to be done. I was finally being honest with him and myself, discovering and showing him who I truly am. Comfortable in my own skin, acclimated to my surroundings and accepting of all of my circumstances, I finally felt like I was myself, my own person.

Not the one who mourned her husband, not the one who offered herself up to an experiment to end it all, not the one who was terrified of Krogan, but the woman who emerged from that broken shell. I felt an inner strength, determination and purpose emerge from where once a frightened girl sat huddled in a corner with her eyes covered so that she could not see the world around her. I was finally free, and all it took was to be forced to stand on my own two feet.

I am here, and I am ready.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Strolling through the shuttle bays on my way back to the extremely tiny apartment I'd been given, I spotted Miranda and Jacob. I was not feeling the small space so I decided to check in quickly before I headed back to await reassignment. I had a younger sibling myself, who I had constantly worried about while he was growing up, so I could commiserate with Miranda.

Walking up to stand between the two, I saw Miranda had noticed me so I motioned to the waiting area she was staring at, "Is she alright?".

Miranda nodded, "Yes, she and her family will be fine. I've got them set up to move to their new location now." A moment slipped by and I heard her clear her throat, "Thank you for the help, by the way."

I smiled and nodded, "Glad to be of assistance." Then a thought occurred to me, "Speaking of assistance, if you need any in the future, please don't hesitate to reach out. I did some research on your father and, well, just let me know if you need anything."

Taken aback, she was almost at a loss for words, "Um, ok, thanks." Diverting her eyes back to the young girl, she cracked a small smile.

Watching the older sister stare longingly at her much younger sibling, I couldn't help but think about Steven. My little brother, the one who got into more trouble than our parents knew about in school, got into more than a few fights, broke a lamp or three that I took the blame for, but eventually turned out to be an incredible marine, husband and apparently father.

What I wouldn't give, "I tell ya what Miranda, if that were my little brother standing right there…" I swallowed down the lump in my throat before continuing, looking straight into her eyes, "Wild horses couldn't stop me from giving him a bear hug… and the biggest, sloppiest kiss on his cheek," A sad, teary smile came over my face, "and telling him how much I love him." Certain that my thought was complete, I nodded and walked away.

Before I rounded the corner, I couldn't help but look back. When I did, I saw Miranda holding her little sister and a tear rolled down my cheek. What I would not give…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After grabbing something to eat at one of the kiosks, I reluctantly headed back to the apartment. Walking toward the intersection nearby, I noticed two people in Alliance uniforms standing outside my door. I smiled, thinking my wait was over, until I realized something seemed off.

There was a man and a woman, which didn't surprise me, but the way they were looking around was just odd. As if they were afraid of being caught. Suspicious, I leisurely strolled by them at a distance and planted myself on a bench inside the doorway of a neighboring dwelling, just close enough so that I could hear what they were saying.

"It doesn't matter how many times you knock," the man said, "if she's not there she won't answer."

"Excuse me if I'm a little nervous, I do not want to meet up with Shepard," the woman responded vehemently. "I doubt he would take kindly to this."

The man gave a low rumble of a laugh, "Yeah, but what the Illusive Man can learn from her will be well worth it."

At those last words my blood ran cold and I didn't hear anything else they were saying. Son of a bitch, I should have known he would not only find out, but want to find out even more. Images of interrogations with me strapped to a chair and then my carcass on a steel slab, opened up from neck to pelvis flooded my mind. Giving myself time to slow my climbing heart rate and come up with a plan, I took a few more bites of the sweet concoction I purchased earlier and ran a few scenarios over in my head.

Would Cerberus really only send two people to apprehend me? No way, there has to be a plan to incapacitate me then backup if that fails.

Where would the back up be? Has to be close by where they can stay out of sight. I scanned the area and saw a small alcove slightly down the open air hallway the apartment was off of. Maybe, close enough to help but far enough away to not connect them. Realizing I was out of my depth here with nowhere to hide, I tapped my ear as I stood, tossing the remaining dessert in the nearby trash receptacle and walking away from the duo.

When I was out of ear shot, I whispered into the comm, "Shepard, do you copy? It's Sam, I need some assistance if you're in the area." I waited, hearing nothing but a low level static. "Fuck, they must have jammed the signal." I scanned the extending hall that eventually led to the business district then the docking bay the Normandy was in and, determining it was clear, casually made my way toward it to get away from the jamming signal and closer to the ship.

Just as I approached the door and it hissed open, a voice from behind me shouted, "THERE SHE IS!".

I took off like a shot.

Careening down the enclosed walkway, I had to hesitate before the next door opened, so I took the opportunity to rip my pistol from its holster and begin firing at those chasing me. The group suddenly had grown from the two I saw at my door to include a handful of armored troops. When the shots made them think twice, I flew through the open doorway and over the railing, crashing into a few bystanders, then kept on running toward the next door, taking cover on the other side of another railing while that door opened. Sending a few more shots at my fan club, I made a run for it toward the business district.

"Normandy? Normandy!" I kept yelling as I made my way through the maze that was Ilium.

The first kiosk had about a dozen people around it, so I used them for cover as I sent a few more shots to my six. Running from one kiosk to another, the unarmored duo had peeled off the attack and I saw that only Cerberus troops followed me. Then it dawned on me, they hadn't fired a shot. The little voice inside my head spoke up, Yet, but I kept going.

Thinking they had orders not to harm me, I became less careful, not looking for cover as much and only firing at them when they got too close. Finally I came upon the merchants who were closest to the docking bays and, with a sigh of relief, heard Joker's voice in my ear.

"Sam? Is that you?" His concern and panic was palpable, "What the hell is going on?"

"Can't talk," I breathed out, "Being chased by… Cerberus." Making a B-Line for the entrance to the docking bay only about 100 feet ahead, I put on the after-burners and hauled ass when I spotted Shepard. Thank GOD!

Suddenly a shot went off from behind me and I felt an intense burning sensation in the base of my spine that sent me straight to the ground. Sliding across the tiled floor to a halt, I heard heavy footsteps stomping toward me as strong arms lifted me off the ground.

"John," I whispered, the pain my my back leaving me breathless, "I can't-"

Taking off running, Shepard glanced down at me and shook his head, "Not now, Sam, I've got you." Realizing I still had my pistol in my right hand, I grabbed his shoulder with my left to angle myself then started firing at our pursuers until we were safely in the decontamination compartment of the Normandy.

Breathing heavily, John barked orders at Joker to get us out of here then smiled down at me, "Loner, huh?"

Under normal circumstances I would have taken the jibe as it was meant, a joke between friends, and given it back to him as good as I got, but there was something else encompassing my mind at that moment. Something menacing, that had me both in disbelief and in panic mode.

"John… I can't feel my legs."