Author's Note: I am so sorry this has taken so long guys. There's been a lot going on, and real life has been so overwhelming. There are no words. But I am back! I hope. (Whoa. Last update was from 2013.)

Warning: Though the rape isn't detailed, or even explicitly stated, it's very obvious what goes on. It's in the italics if you wish to skip over.

The cold water splashed her face. As she examined herself in the mirror, she was again left with a feeling of disconnect. The girl didn't look like her. Her throat felt so tight. How often had she comforted the victims as a part of her job? How often had she told them it wasn't their fault? She finally understood. She finally understood the shame. The guilt. She felt dirty. She felt disgusting. As she looked at her face, she shook slightly. One of them had touched her face, he'd tasted her tears. She reached for the bar of soap, and began wetting her face down. She cleaned her face, despite having just washed it, in a useless attempt to try and cleanse herself of him.

Tears fell again as she glanced down. They'd touched her everywhere. She had to leave, but... She turned to and put the water on for the bath. She'd try again. To feel clean, to erase them. How long until her body would feel like her own again?

*~ Home Sweet Home ~*

The sound of the belt buckle was recognized even with her eyes squeezed shut. "Please," she pleaded again. "Please, you don't have to do this. It's not too late."

"That's not screaming, but you're pushing it blondie," the leader told her.

The tears began to fall.

"I like it when my women cry," he said in a softer tone reaching to stroke her in a comforting manner. She pulled her head away, and his fist collided with her face. "I suggest you behave."

A sinking feel reached her stomach. Henry must be terrified, so why couldn't she hear him? Any young child would be crying, screaming. Was he? No... They'd worn masks. Obviously they didn't plan to kill them both. That didn't mean they wouldn't if it went wrong, but she tried to reassure herself by convincing herself they'd gagged him. It made her feel sick. She was hoping her son was gagged, but it was better than the alternative.

He reached for her underwear now. A scream nearly escaped her lips. And she struggled again. She couldn't help it. Her heart beat in her chest, and it was painful. The man motioned for the help of his allies, and they came forward to hold her down. As he cut the underwear off her, he smirked.

"There. That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

*~ Home Sweet Home ~*

She'd just finished getting ready, and was about to leave the house. She didn't know which was worse. Being home, and afraid? Or being out? Neither seemed appealing.

Normally the drive seemed too long, but today, the drive to the BAU seemed to go by too quickly. Before she knew it, she was parked in the underground parking and getting into the elevator.

She didn't know what prompted it, but instead of going straight to the therapist's office, she stopped on the floor her team was on.

There was a small feeling of comfort when she heard the excited, 'JJ!'

Emily. What she liked the most was though she could see her friend's longing to hug her, she respectfully kept her distance. Much like Garcia.

"Hey Em," JJ said giving her friend a genuine smile.

The others must have heard her name because the others soon joined them. The worry in their faces was both comforting and frustrating.

"We miss you," Reid told her as he, too, kept his distance. There were great benefits to having a group of friends that specialized in profiling. On the plus, it meant they could tell when she needed space quite easily. None of them reached forward to hug her which would seem appalling to her mother. None of them hounded her with calls, much like her friends she'd made at Henry's daycare. On the less appealing side, it also meant she couldn't hide anything from them.

"I miss you guys, too," she replied. And it was true. She felt a huge rush of emotion as she looked at her team. Emily, Rossi, Morgan, Reid, Garcia and Hotch.

They all expressed how they hoped she'd be back soon, and that she was doing well. But for the most part, it was silence. That was okay with her. It was nice to just see them.

*~ Home Sweet Home ~*

She'd tried to go somewhere else. In her head, she thought of the good things. Her first date with Will. Having Henry. But nothing could make her ignore the pain she felt. The disgust, the shame.

"What is your problem?" he asked her. "I'm doing all the work. You get to just sit there, lie back and be hot."

His words sickened her. The lump in her throat grew bigger. He was tainting her. He was making her dirty.

"Hurry up, man," the second voice spoke up. "I want a turn, too."

She didn't know why she had figured it'd be over when he was done. Perhaps she hadn't wanted to think about it. It felt like it wasn't going to end. She could feel the warmth of her blood as it dripped. Think of Henry. She had to. If she didn't focus on something else, she wouldn't make it out of this in one piece. Even if they let her go. She'd be broken.

"Tell me you want it." His words took her by surprise.

"What?"

"Tell me you want it."

What? She couldn't. She already felt so...

"Alright. I guess you want us to hurt your boy."

"I want it," she said as quickly as she could.

"Like you mean it."

It was sick. It was so sick. But she did as she was told, and she'd never felt more ashamed.

*~ Home Sweet Home ~*