Author's Note: I didn't expect anyone to be around to read this really. The new faves/follows and reviews have given me a newfound energy, so here I am! Posting another chapter.

Also, if you like this, you'd probably really like "Neuralgia" by 12. Where it an actual . because FanFiction won't let me write the actual name. It is an amazingly written fic that portrays trauma super well. It is one of my favourite fics ever. Check out the fic! Also any of their other work is great too.

Cold showers helped. They were uncomfortable, but the coldness kept her grounded. It never occurred to her that there would be a point she couldn't have warm showers because it was too easy to fall into flashbacks and otherwise bad thoughts. The smell of the green apple shampoo soothed JJ a little. Before the attack, she'd been partial to different scents. Now, it seemed like changing small things like the scent of her shampoo, body lotion, even her car air freshener seemed to help.

It was weird running her fingers through her hair because it wasn't so long anymore. It was still beyond her shoulders, but she'd lost a lot of the length. All her profiling skills taught her that often survivors of trauma made appearance changes, and other small changes to try and have some control. Knowing this didn't stop her from going to the hair stylist because she'd taken scissors to her precious long, blonde hair.

He inhaled her scent. "Vanilla. So sweet. One of my favourites if you wanted to know." His stubby fingers pulled at her hair. "Such beautiful hair."

JJ didn't say anything. The smell of blood overwhelmed her. How could he smell anything but? JJ's eyes wandered and she could see the blood stains on the blue walls... They stood out... Bright and vibrant.

"You see, when you dress like you do... Wear your hair like you do, and smell like you do... Can you really blame a man for taking what you're selling?"

She ignored him again. She could feel the hot rage in her cheeks, but she didn't dare say a word. Henry was at stake. Henry. He was all that mattered. They didn't matter. Her need to defend herself didn't matter. Her anger at his disregard for women didn't matter in that moment either. Henry was what mattered. And if that meant being silent while some creeps smelled her head and pulled her hair, then so be it.

Grey sweatpants and a blank t-shirt. It was comfortable, or so she told herself. For some reason, she couldn't help but think about their comments about her clothing. She had spent years sticking up for victims. Clothing wasn't asking for it. Drinking wasn't asking for it. Teasing wasn't asking for it. So why didn't these apply to her? She hadn't been drinking, teasing or even dressing a certain way. Even if she had, it still wouldn't be her fault, so why on earth did she feel the need to dress in sweatpants? She was sure Reid could tell her. Perhaps Dr. Kyte. Hell, if she searched hard enough, there was probably some profiling skills in there that would tell her.

There wasn't a lot of time to dwell on it. Against her instincts, she'd reached out to a friend. She'd spent so much time hiding, so many weeks. There were so many moments she was pretending to be okay. The truth of it was that she was not okay. Not in the slightest. While she denied it for so long, deep down she knew that the trick to being okay was admitting she was not okay.

JJ had just finished throwing her hair in a bun when she heard the knock at the door. Will was keeping Henry for the weekend, and as much as JJ loved her son, she planned to try and make use of the time she had alone. Her heart fluttered a little nervously. Emily hadn't hesitated to drive over when she got JJ's call, but now it was time to be honest. It was time to lean on her friend that same way her friend had leaned on her when Doyle had been hunting her.

Her instincts told her to yell 'come in' because usually when she expected guests, she left the door unlocked for them. That changed now. It had definitely changed because not only was JJ unlocking the door knob but she was also pulling the deadbolt that she had installed after the events that took place.

"Hey," JJ said softly. "Thank you for coming."

"Hey," Emily said handing her a coffee she'd grabbed on the way, "It's no problem JJ, really. I am so happy you called me."

It felt awkward. Her and Emily had cried over stuff together, laughed and stayed up late talking about life. She had held Emily's hand when Emily struggled, so why did she feel a lump in her throat and an instinct to lock out one of her best friends?

"Thank you for the coffee," JJ said with a forced smile. It was thoughtful. Emily had stopped at JJ's favourite place, and JJ imagined it was just the way she liked it. Emily often did that for her when she was on her way over for some girl time. It had been a long time since the last time. JJ shuddered slightly remembering the last time was the day off her attack. Did Emily feel guilty for that? JJ hoped not, but she had to wonder. Not even a mere hour after Emily had left, they'd broken in. They'd tied Henry up, and tortured and raped her. JJ hadn't even considered how Emily might be feeling. She hadn't offered her assurances or comfort. If it were her, she'd be overwhelmed with guilt.

"It's been long overdue," Emily said, "I've really missed coming to see you." It took little effort to step out of her walked over to the couch as she often had done in the past. The room was rearranged. The couch was now in front of the window in the living room as opposed to across from it. The TV had switched walls as well. Will's leather massaging chair was nowhere in sight. Emily took in everything, attempting to swallow the lump in her throat. The room had even gone from a pale blue to a dark grey. JJ had changed everything, and Emily imagined if she walked some more throughout the house, she would find this in most of the rooms. JJ was trying to forget.

"I know. Me too," JJ said softly. She watched Emily sit on the couch, pulling her knees up like she'd always done and she sat on the opposite end like she always did, pulling her knees up too. JJ set her coffee down, and dug her fingers into her thighs.

There were a few moments of silence as each woman tried to figure out what to say before Emily finally spoke. "Tell me what you need, JJ. Do you need a distraction? If so, we can play games, go for a drive. Have a girl's night, maybe call Garcia. Or do you want to talk? Because I can do that too. I will do whatever I need to help you. I just need you to tell me how."

The silence continued as JJ debated. The distraction was tempting. They could invite Garcia. Maybe stay up late drinking hot chocolate and watching Netflix. Maybe some alcoholic drinks. They'd done it before. Several times before. They tried to have a sleepover night at least once every couple of months. Will had grown to appreciate them, often bringing them snacks and drinks. JJ missed those days. They felt like another life time.

"Truthfully, I want a distraction," JJ said, "but I need to talk."

"Okay," Emily replied. "I'm here and I am listening."

JJ didn't know what to say, or where to start. There was so much. People always told her to talk about it. They always told her they were there to listen. There was no answer though. Talk about what? What did she say? What were the magic words she was supposed to say that would help heal her?

There were so many questions, and so much confusion. JJ opted for the truth. The simple truth. "I feel lost," she said, her eyes watering. "I feel so lost, Em."

It took approximately 2.5 seconds for Emily to put her own coffee down on the round side table, and reach across the couch to take JJ's hands in her own. "You're here. You're with me. You're safe, JJ."

"I don't feel safe," JJ admitted, feeling a tear fall down her cheek. That was a truth she didn't admit to anyone until now. She did not feel safe.

"That's understandable." Emily squeezed her friend's hands a bit. "You went through so much, and no one expects you to just be okay."

"I have nightmares the rare times I get some sleep, and even when I'm not sleeping... I see him."

Emily nodded. She had similar experiences. Sometimes, she still had nightmares of Doyle. Still had flashbacks and fears. "Do you want me to stay with you?" She gave JJ the same offer JJ had given her, and she hoped that JJ took her up on it.

"I-" JJ's voice broke off. The truth was yes, but was that unfair to put on Emily?

"I want to stay," Emily said quickly trying to erase any doubt her friend may have. She knew she definitely had worries when JJ was giving her comfort. "But will you let me?"

JJ stopped for a moment, chewing her bottom lip. "Yes."

"Then I'll stay," Emily said finally letting go of her friend's hands to pick up her coffee cup. "I'll stay as long as you need me to."