The following is based on actual events. Actual fictional events.

The Netherworld. A wrathful place where sinful souls go to die, and the wicked demons that torment them live their unholy lives. Great Overlords and mighty Archdevils rule in this infernal land, warring among themselves for power, souls, treasure, and their own stake in the great game of the myriad hells.

But not all Demons are Overlords, and not all Netherworlds are places of constant strife and agony. For each legendary Netherworld, there are a dozen or so lesser known ones. Sleepy suburbs or out of the way border settlements where less violent demons live. Small-town Hells where budding young adventurers dream of greater things, or those already powerful demons who have it all settle down to live the easy life or indulge in their own personal hobbies.

A bright new day has dawned in one of these minor Netherworlds, and a new adventure is about to begin…

Chapter 1: Sally's Big Day!

BGM: ~Disgaea 2 OST: Brother and Sister~ (Overlord's Note: This site doesn't like my formatting so you're going to have to search up the mood music yourself)
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The Dark Sun dawned, peeking over the distant, jagged peaks of the Mountains of Madness and shining it's unholy light down across the peaceful (well, as peaceful as it gets in the Netherworld) town of Hell's Half Acre. A secluded little place set amid lush (yet forbidden!) forests and verdant meadows (of doom!).

On the very outskirts of the sleepy little town, a single small house could be found. Exactly the sort of storybook cottage a stereotypical witch would be found residing in. It featured a cyclopean stone construction, thatched roof, round little windows, and a white picket fence around the yard. Just outside the fence there was a big outdoor cauldron used for cooking up the usual things like potions, small children, and pasta sauce. And of course, a good old fashioned tire swing hung playfully in the backyard.

The warm rays of the sun dappled down through the leaves and through the window of the bedroom of this tiny house, illuminating a veritable army of stuffed animals, a collage of boy band posters, and a sea of upholstery in various shades of light red and pastel pink. A girlier room there never was. Poking out from beneath the sheets was a single adorable ribbon perched upon a fiery red head of hair. Cute lil' snores and coos caused the ribbon to flick a bit.

On the nightstand next door, the muted 'tick tick tock' of a catsaber clock counted down the day and the hour, until striking the appointed moment, and echoing through the house with a 'Nya Nya NYAAAAA!' Roused by the caterwauling alarm, the blankets were abruptly flung off, to reveal the cutest and most adorablest lil' devil in all the Netherworlds; Sally the Mage!

"Waaaah! It's Daytime!" A brief rush of excitement for all the possibilities of today raced through the adorable arcanist's mind… briefly… until drowsiness returned in force, prompting a delightful little yawn. A small little tummy grumble set forth an absolute directive. "Awwahhh… gotta get some sweeeeets fiiiiiirst…"

The fire witch went lazily about her morning routine. Stumble into the bathroom, brush her teeth, comb her considerable amount of hair (paying special attention to avoiding perturbing her ever charming ribbon), and then obtain a brisk breakfast of extra-sweet tea and raisin bread with frosting on it.

Her SP rose to optimal levels, enhanced by the sugar rush she now felt. A sense that today was the start of something awesome swept over her… a sensation that rarely proved to be true. This town wasn't exactly high on the list of 'exciting destinations', nor is it frequented by 'adventure worthy' persons nor events.

But, the old demon adage stands: 'When no mischief is afoot, make mischief thyself.'

Sally threw on her robes, black with a white frilly fringe, grasped her Prinny-shaped staff, put on her cute shoes, and scampered out the door, ready to face the day.

The Mage's home sat at the end of a cul-de-sac, nestled back into a stand of trees on the edge of the woods, and across from it was one other house. Unlike her rather humble abode, this home spoke of someone with wealth and taste. While not overly large, it was a stately cape cod wrath with two stories, a tower, a wide veranda, a garage, and a pastel white and light blue coat of paint. Perfectly manicured topiaries and a vibrant green lawn contrasted with the somewhat overgrown and, in places, scorched yard of the Mage's house. All of it kept in perfect order by its owner's troupe of Prinnies.

Ahh, Prinnies. The Netherworld's cheap immigrant labor. No demon of any standing would be caught without at least a few to wait on them hand and foot. A half dozen of the penguin-shaped critters were currently doing mundane yardwork, weeding the flower pots, cleaning the gutters and downspouts, with one standing prominently in the middle of the yard pretending to look like he was in charge, but actually wasn't.

That Prinny had a self-important look about him, puffing his broad, mostly featureless chest out, and placing his flippers on his hips… that is until he felt himself being lifted ominously into the air by a pair of small delicate Mage hands around his peg legs.

"H…hey! Woah woah! Stop it! What are you doing, dood! Don't pick people up like this without permission, dood!" The Prinny immediately became worried, because, nine times out of ten, when a Prinny was lifted, there was only one way it was going to land.

"Hihi~ You're gonna flyyyyyyy!" Sally spoke, a little twinkle in her eye as she took aim, holding the flailing, and highly volatile creature above herself.

"Wait! Nonono! Stop! Please! N…not again! Kimberley's going to be mad! I… uhh… I'll give you, like, my entire week's ration, dood!" Sally knew this meant 'A grand total of 1 sardine.'

The Mage was hearing none of it. Sardines were valueless to her. She only took joy in the misfortune of others, such as the Prinny she was about to toss. "Pokonn!" She squeaked out her battle cry, as she tossed the Prinny across the yard.

With a forlorn cry of "DOOOOOOOOOD!" the bird-like creature flew.

Well, less 'flew' and more 'fell with (a distinct lack of) style', directly into the ladder being used by one of its comrades to repaint the trim under the eaves of the house. The first Prinny exploded, which set off a chain reaction as the ladder fell, launching the second prinny into a third, who was pushing a hand mower, and exploded with considerable vigor, causing the (un)sympathetic detonation of the fourth, who was clearing a hedge.

The errant paint can flew atop the head of the fifth prinny, who was working a pressure washer to clear the driveway. And who briefly had the indignity of having their head stuck in a can and their body splattered with white, before, naturally, exploding. The spray from the pressure washer struck the sixth and final prinny in the eyes, blinding it long enough for it to run around the yard, flailing, before tripping over the hose, faceplanting into an azalea bush, and, predictably, exploding.

"Heeheehee." Sally laughed, with a sort of sugary, psychotic glee that stood in contrast to the chaos unfolding around her. A warm, fuzzy feeling of accomplishment filled her tummy, as she hopped into a triumphant pose of victory, pointing upwards into the air.

Demons were just like that sometimes. Well, most were, anyway.

Inside the House

BGM: ~Disgaea 1 OST: A Dark Race becomes Magnificient~
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A single, delicate and manicured hand, held a copy of the Netherworld Times. Dark blue eyes gazed across the financial headlines, as they did every morning. 'Trade War escalates to Actual War: Zenisky Financial Offices under siege' reads the headline.

"Oh dear. I'd best call my broker and sell off my shares before that gets too heated." The rather refined and elegant voice of the business-savvy demon spoke, if only to herself. A Hellmark saved is a Hellmark earned, and that can be reinvested into upcoming sectors such as 'Curry Futures' or 'Sardine Aquaculture'.

A hand traveled over to a nearby table, picking up an equally delicate teacup, made of the finest porcelain and containing the finest brew of tea available in the Netherworlds. Truly worthy of the connoisseur who owned it. The cup was brought to its owners lips, when a sudden series of shockwaves reverberated through the house, causing ripples to go through the tea and causing the various containers of fine china dishes and fancy glassware to rattle a bit.

Now, mysterious explosions were a dime a dozen in the Netherworld, but the lady was quick to deduce the source. About 8:45 AM, so the right time frame. Six explosions equates to the six prinnies she sent out to mow the lawn. Even before the manic mage's cackling hit her pointy ears, she knew exactly who the culprit was…

"Ahem…" The simple sound of someone clearing their throat reverberated through the air like a stone tablet dropped on a marble floor.

Standing upon the veranda of the tastefully decorated home stood an equally-refined Archer. Hair curls springing and swaying lightly in the wind, resplendent in her sky-blue and white dress detached white sleeves, and starchy chest board which all archers wore with pride.

But this was not any mere Archer. Over the years she held many names and jobs. 'Pocket Netherworld Captain' and 'Dancing Pirate' among others, but nowadays, she just went by 'Kimberley'.

And she was not particularly pleased.

"I didn't do it!" Chirped the Mage, as she made her best 'I'm cute on purpose so you can't be mad at me' face, while standing amid incriminating craters and burned foliage, being the last one standing. Kimberley wasn't buying it.

"Must we do this every time I send my Prinnies to do some task?" The Archer scolded. Speaking with an air of Victorian stoicism, but a slight, slight hint of crossness that would send shivers up most Demons' spines. "I've gone through two dozen Prinnies this week alone. Even if it only costs 1HL to respawn them, it's lowering productivity across the board. I've a very busy day ahead of me and I need servants for housekeeping purposes!"

"H...hey! N..no fair! You can't like, be mad at me. I'm like, way too cute!" Sally exclaims, snapping into a charming and elegant sort of pose, hands clasped low at her front, and swaying side to side ever so slightly, her long hair lazily following like a pendulum. It was a well-practiced reflex. Act all charming and adorable like to avoid retribution. Classic Mage technique.

Kimberley held up her pointer finger, about to berate the manic Mage further, but just sighed and gave up, hanging her head low. That cute persona just works too damn well. It always has. The archer sighed. "Look, I'm not mad... just terribly inconvenienced. A lady of my position needs servants and vassals. Therefore..." She paused.

Therefore. While usually the Mage could get off scot free, the dreaded Therefore always meant there was something unpleasant coming... a little wince went over her face at the anticipation of impending doom.

"Therefore, I will make it your task today, to go into town and replace the Prinnies you just destroyed. And I would prefer it if you didn't annihilate them before getting them home." Kimberley spoke sternly, placing her hands on her hips.

"But what if I don't waaaanaaaaa!" The Mage teased, in a sing-songy sort of voice, sticking her tongue out at the Archer.

"Then I will propose legislation to the Dark Assembly this afternoon, that all sweets be banned from sale from all RosenQueen outlets in the Netherworld, to be replaced forthwith with healthy snacks, such as celery and carrot sticks. I believe the Senators from the Rabbit party will approve of the bill, and Celery sticks are popular in bars, so I will have the support of the Rifle Demon party as well..." She spoke, knowing full well the inner workings of the Dark Assembly and exactly how to grease the hinges to get what she wants...

"I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO ANYTHING! PLEASE! NO! NOT THAT!" The Mage immediately dropped on her knees and pleaded, all teary eyed. Unhinged though she was, she knew the Archer wasn't bluffing. If getting the zoning permit for that swimming pool was proof of anything, Kimberley can do whatever she claims she can do. The Mage just hung her head glumly and accepted it. "Mwaaaahhh...f...fine! I'll go out on the town get you some more Prinnies!"

"Excellent!" Kimberley cheered up at the sound of the Mage taking responsibility for her actions responding positively to blackmail. "I don't particularly care where you source them from, so long as you get them home by this evening, and so long as my house is still standing when I get home."

"Okaaaay! I'm like, really good at kidnapping people! I'll go get some Prinnies for you! I'll grab my Prinny Net, and my Prine-balls, and then I'll become the greatest Prinnymon master I can ever be!" she proclaimed, getting herself excited again. She then turned back to her home and scampered off to rummage through her toybox to get the proper Prinny abduction equipment!

Satisfied with her efforts, Kimberley went back inside, to finish her tea and prepare to head to work at the Dark Assembly. A 'tsk tsk tsk' and shake of her head was all she could manage to punctuate the situation.

BGM: ~Disgaea OST: Lord Laharl's Hymn~
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At the Dark Assembly, Later that Morning

After sending the Mage off and making sure to lock her house up, Kimberley finally arrived at the local Dark Assembly offices. She didn't exactly have high hopes that the Mage would actually do what she asked (her short attention span would probably lead to her chasing a butterfly around for the next 8 hours or so). It might be wise to hire a maid or some other servile demon to take their place. After all, it got dreadfully dull around her house with none but Prinnies or that Alraune from the forest she hires to work her garden to speak to, and the manic escapades of her neighbor were often a bit too much excitement. A lady of her refinement needs some more muted, mild fun.

At any rate, there was still work to be done. The Archer made her way through the Dark Assembly building, passing the various courtrooms, giving a passing ear to the goings on. In one she could hear a brawl having broken out, and in another she could hear suggestive succubus noises. These days, she only rarely participated in actual votes, under her alter-ego Legendary Senator Venus. Usually only when a big-name Overlord or hero was in town, or someone was really trying to pork barrel something asinine through and she needed to personally slap them down.

Arriving at her office, she raised her fist to unlock the identity-tagged magical seal on her door, and entered. It was a stately affair, much like her house, with ornate carved wooden shelves full of reference books and old case records, as well as a few file cabinets with more of the same. Using a small pull-out mirror on an extendable pole, she checked under her chair and desk to make sure no assassins had planted bombs or anything. She then checked the cabinets to make sure a swarm of fairies wasn't hiding inside again. And finally took a seat to read over the accumulated mail, reviewing the pending legislation.

For you see, not every bill proposed to the Dark Assembly was submitted personally by the drafter themselves. Many were mailed in remotely, and many more were pending votes which had been on hold. Among her duties was to review them. A small pile of new material was present, which she carefully organized and began to pick through.

Each bill was carefully skimmed over, and stamped with an Imperial Seal, either YEA or NAY.

First up was a bill entitled "I want more ATK growth!" By one 'Avogadro the Warrior'. Fairly straightforward, and not something so important that would usually end up on her desk. Until she saw that he wanted specifically an ATK growth of 6.022e10^33%. Yeah no, that one is getting a big fat NAY stamp.

Next was a bill for "Put a trapdoor under the podium that dumps people into a chute to the lava moat when we vote NAY on their crap." proposed by a fellow senator. Ooh, that was a refreshing idea. Why hadn't they done that sooner? Kimberley responded eagerly with a YEA stamp.

After that was a "Release funding for Netherworld Space Program" proposed by a 'Professor Elaine Mosque'. A name of a most insidious demon who was well known in Netherworld financial circles for creating HelPal, an App which allowed trading a portion of one's own soul for HL, which proved wildly popular, as well as the Tesla Dimensional Portal, which doubled as an electric chair. While the Dark Assembly was loath to spend money on anything, Kimberley figured they could just run a few prinnies through the HelPal app to make up the difference in bribe money. YEA.

Next was a bill entitled 'Promote me from Mid-boss to Final-boss' by none other than the 'Dark Adonis Vyers'. Yeah no, not a chance. There's unfortunately already a final boss, one Ms. Des Co. Since the slot is already taken, she can only promote him to DLC. NAY

Finally, a bill which had been sitting on the books for a few months that no senators had bothered to review. 'Creation of the Prinny Party for the Assembly Bill' proposed by one 'Doodnard the Prinny'. Really. Prinnies? Trying to get Representation? The normally stoic and composed archer actually let out a laugh. A haughty rich girl sort of laugh. "Ohohohohohoho~" That was a good one!

For this one, she had to put her 'Nay' stamp away, and get a much bigger one with a face the size of the paper with HELL NAY written on it. Picking it up with both hands and leaping into the air to smash it down on that bill repeatedly!

BGM: ~Phantom Brave OST: Wood Stick~
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Back in Town

Even despite the doom and gloom of this being the demon realm, there was a certain down-home charm of these small netherworlds. Everyone knew your name, even when you weren't a soul-devouring eldritch abomination or tyrant overlord. The stores were bright and cheerful, if a bit understocked compared to the big RosenQueen malls of the larger Netherworlds. Bribery and Corruption were committed with a smile and a shake of the hand, instead of with dour paperwork. And when someone wound up dead, it was a more close-knit social affair as all the townspeople tried to forge their signatures on the deceased's will to get a piece of the estate.

After failing to find any Prinnies out in the wild and failing to catch that damn butterfly, Sally made her way back into town. She got a cheerful hello and a wave from most of the local store vendors as she did so. "Hoi hoi!" She waved and chirped back. The loose-fitting sleeves of her robes flapping around as she did so.

Hell's Half Acre was just a bedroom community from which demons commuted to and from work in such diverse locations as the Evil Academy and Hades Prison Ward. A blue-collar population of clerks and paper-pushers as opposed to any big time adventurers. It was a cozy joint though, with a few amenities. There was the Hellmart™ Grocery store, of course. A Watsaco™ branded gas station, known for its slogan "warming your globe since 2005!" and making it fuels out of 100% pure refined tyrannosaurus rex, was attached to the (in)convenience store. There were a host of smaller stores like a frilly dress shop, a cafe, a pawn shop, a funeral home which doubled as a gentlemen's lounge for the local Zombie population, and a few little boutiques selling this and that.

Of course, the town had the obligatory RosenQueen franchise vendors, with their outdoor displays the firm was famous for, manned by bright-eyed demons who were between temp jobs. At the weapon shop stood a male warrior named 'Chuck', who allegedly got that nickname because he used to be a Prinny, but got enough mana to reincarnate. Hearing the clarion call of an approaching Mage, he bid a friendly (well, as friendly as demons got) greeting to the girl.

"Hey Sally. We got some new stock in today. Some War Hammers and Spears that might be your style." he called. However because of Sally's low customer rank due to being dirt poor and largely reliant on whatever HL she could mooch from Kimberley, the aforementioned 'War Hammer' was just a croquet mallet, and the 'Spear' was just a laundry pole.

"Mwaaaahhh… I can't buy it today. I gotta save my allowance money for like, sweets!" she proclaimed. Mages only ate sweets to stay alive, you see. It was cuter that way, and the hyperactive blood sugar boosted their HP.

"Suit yourself. We'll still be here!" Chuck said, waving goodbye to the Mage.

Right next to him, a lady warrior named Gabriella ran the armor stand. Some decent cuirasses, vambraces, and chainmail were available for sale and displayed prominently, but were far outside of Sally's price range. She might have been able to scrape enough funds out of the cushions of her couch at home to afford the trash bag robes or the pot lid helm +3, but that would be dipping into her sofa savings too much for her liking!

Next in line, a Fight Mistress named Frenzi ran the miscellaneous items stand, selling healing items and such. The Mage was one of her better customers, as she commonly cleared out her inventory of sweets and cookies. "Oye! Sally~ We'll have a new delivery of swiss rolls and devil's food cookies tomorrow. Inventory's still a bit light." She spoke.

Sally frowned. "Aww, I wanted them today." Oh well, there were other places to get sweets in town. She could pop into the local 6-66 store to get a Brain-Freezie and some candy bars on her way home.

But right now, it was one of the rare occasions where she was motivated to actually do something productive. Namely: make Kimberley not pissed at her anymore. And having failed to hunt down any wild prinnies in the woods behind town, she had to go to Plan-B.

"Hihi miss Lori! I like, need your help with something!" Sally said, greeting the local Netherworld Hospital attendant.

"Ahh, yes! Come in, come in. Do you have another splinter from your swingset? Or a scraped knee again?" Lori, the Lady Healer, asked. Sally was one of her more frequent patients, since her wacky antics tended to result in a lot of collateral damage. In such a relatively calm town by Netherworld standards, she almost single-handedly kept the local hospital branch afloat.

"Oh, uhm. Did a bunch of Prinnies recently show up here? Like, all explodicated and deadified?" Sally asked, looking off to the side shyly. "I'm asking for, like, a friend! I had, like, nothing to do with it!"

Lori knew better. This happened like once a week. Still, as befitting her fallen angel status, she was kind enough to entertain the Mage's lie so as not to hurt her feelings. "Ahh, Kimberley's troupe again? My my, they're so clumsy sometimes, ufufufu."

"Mhm, mhm!" The Mage nodded very fast in agreement. Nodnodnodnod.

"Very well. I'll charge the usual discount. 1HL per Prinny. You have actual money this time, right?" She asked.

"Oh, uhmm…." the Mage squeaked, her cheerful smile turning to a frown, as she reached into her pockets. She proceeded to rummage through her inventory, before presenting two handfuls of string, crumbs, and pocket lint.

Lori picked up the bit of string, and examined it (with closed eyes no less). Her facial expression and body language spoke of disappointment, but not surprise. At this point, she was sitting on dozens of IOUs from the Mage. Most of which were pencilled onto the backs of used candy bar wrappers. "I suppose this will… work for now. But Sally, you really should get a real job. Then you can make actual HL and perhaps buy some things."

"But Jobs are for loooooseeeeeeeers!" the Mage cheered, doing her little pointy pose that Mages were known for.

"Yes… losers. Still, just keep it in mind." Lori said, before sliding over to her workbench and preceding to sew each Prinny lovingly back into a new body with a sewing machine. It was the same one she used when she had to close a wound or reattach a limb. You can imagine how excruciatingly painful it must be!

The Prinnies all did a little spinning pirouette dance as they were brought back from limbo… only to stop in dread and terror as they spotted their very assassin.

"You losers like, totally still have a Jooooooob!" the Mage frowned, puffing one cheek up and looking cross and stern. "Kimberley is mad at you for not finishing your yard work! Also, uhm… she wants you to give me some of your money!"

Lori merely sighed and shook her head. "Thanks for stopping by." she called, pushing the remaining Prinnies out of her shop in case they exploded again.

"D…dood! That's not fair! You're the one who killed us, dood!" Prinny #1 spoke.

"Yeah Dood, we can't do yard work if we're dead, dood!" Prinny #2 retorted.

"And we, like, barely get paid a Sardine a week, dood. This is our life savings!" Prinny #3 was protective of his Prinny pouch.

"Yeah well… that was part of your Prinny Training. Kimberley says there are, like, way better Prinnies who can paint houses and mow lawns and explode into fire all while they're dead too!" the Mage scolded, entirely unfairly. "Kimberley says if you don't do it, she'll send you back to work for Etna and get some of those cool Prinnies. You guys wanna be cool, right?"

Now that was a low blow. The Prinnies all knew Sally was full of it, but just the mere mention of the dreaded 'E' name was enough to send a shiver down their collective spines. The Prinny troupe had to weigh whether the Mage was just lying to extort them, or whether there was any grain of truth to her words. Having been murdered once already today, the Prinnies decided to play it safe.

"F…fine, dood! Here's, like, 5HL. It's all I have!" Prinny #1, defeated, rummaged through its life (death?) savings pouch and handed the Hellmark coins to Sally.

"At this rate, we'll never reincarnate, dood!" Prinny #2 pitched in about 6 more HL.

"Yeah, we must have missed like 5 red moons because of you, dood!" Prinny #3 was a bit more sassy, but went with the flow, giving 10HL to the Mage.

"Mwahahaha~ I know." Sally just stuck her tongue out at the little blue punching bags, as she fleeced them for all they were worth. "Now, go back to Kimberley's house before she gets home and get the mess you made cleaned up. Then maybe I'll tell her you did, like, awesome work and you'll get an extra sardine! Wait no, ask for sweets next time!" the Mage insisted. Something else to extort from them later.

"D…doooooood!" The Prinnies whined in unison. But, as they were eager to get as far away from Sally as humanly (prinnily?) possible, they complied, heading back to the house while Sally counted her haul. A good 25HL. Enough to blow on a few sweets. To the inconvenience store!

BGM: ~Phantom Brave OST: A Hole in Space Time~
watch?v=J_7KWS1c4sA

Unbeknownst to Sally or the Prinnies, their antics did not go unobserved. A pair of orange eyes, with vertical black slits zoomed on the group, their owner hidden in the nearby bushes. A pair of cat paw gloves reached up, turning little clicky dials on the goggles to zoom them in, the similarly feline ears on the owner's hat aiming and pointing at the conversation, only picking up bits and pieces of it over the murmur and bustle of the townsfolk, but it was enough for it's owner to draw a conclusion.

"Uhuhu. The Red one looks like a good mark, nyao~. Anyone that bossy who commands their own Prinnies has gotta have something good. She's even getting kickbacks from them. Now, gotta figure out where they live."

The pawlike gloves removed the cat-eye goggles from over their owner's real eyes, returning them to a place of honor upon her hat. A gold pair of eyes looked up, twinkling in the afternoon light. A thief… no... a Master thief such as herself never made a move in the daylight, gotta be patient.

Now, just where was that little Magician running off to in such a hurry…

BGM: ~Disgaea 2 OST: MAKAI station~
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Later that day, back at Kimberley's Office

The paperwork had been filed, and the appropriate notices sent to their departments. Everything was in order, it seemed. And so, Kimberley decided to head to the breakroom and have some afternoon tea. A few of the other senators were there as well, standing around the water cooler, and talking about random things between voting sessions.

"…so how much are they asking for? You're sure it's legit? The Arcane Academy has been in limbo since that Succubus took it over." One of the senators, a Professor, spoke.

"I believe our records files have been satisfactorily updated. I made sure that our legal staff kept everything in order. Arcanios the Great is out, Eleanor the Succubus is in." Responded the court bookkeeper, a Gargoyle.

"And who do we have on file as her chief vassal? He's the one we've been doing most of our dealings with." The Professor responded.

"The name given was 'Lunaris'. Might be an alias though. I'll have to check." The gargoyle replied.

Though not involved in the conversation and not really paying attention, Kimberley visually cringed when that name was mentioned. 'Lunaris.' She swiftly stood up and walked over to the pair of jabbering jabronis and spoke in her usual classy manner, eyes closed, nose pointed snobbishly upward, stiff upper lip.

"Ahh, salutations. I could not help but overhear the name 'Lunaris'. Could you please elaborate?" She asked.

"Hmmh. Just an unremarkable Ranger demon working as a messenger for Eleanor the Succubus. That is as far as we know." The Gargoyle spoke.

"I see, I see." Kimberley responded, maintaining her composure, though the mere mention of that name had brought some, shall we say, bad memories to the fore.

"What does it matter?" The Professor asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing pertinent. Merely a name that has popped up in our records in the past. I am not at liberty to discuss the details publically." She spoke, before turning to leave.

"Very well, suit yourself." The Gargoyle continued. "So… did you hear about that comeback tour that Axel fellow was going to make…"

"He's a washed up dork." The Professor replied, disparagingly.

Kimberley simply walked back to her office quietly. Sitting back in her chair, leaned back, and pulled a piece of paper from her printer, a photo from her desk drawer, and set to work. A snip snip here and a snip snip there, a scotch tape here and boom! An effigy of a rather suave looking Male Archer, whose face was torn from a photograph featuring himself and Kimberley prominently, which Kimberley proceeded to push through her desk fan, remaining quietly troubled at being reminded of him.

Minutes into this process, the sound of the squeaky caster wheels of a filing cart being pushed by is heard. Another of her co-workers, a senator from the Sorcerer party, named Yasumi, arrived. Walking into her office.

"Kimberley! Can see hair is very curly. Can see blood is very blue inside veins. Pushing voodoo doll through fan. Old boyfriend? Yasumi can curse!" The Sorcerer offered, absolutely delighted at the prospect of spreading even more misfortune in the name of Dolvalky: God of Unhappiness and Curses.

Kimberley was tempted to tell Yasumi off, but it would be unbecoming of a consummate professional such as her to let emotion guide her words and actions. "No curse. Don't worry about it. To what do I owe your visit this evening?"

"Late in day. Senators want go home early. Will be too lazy and not contest bill. Here, review and stamp YEA YEA YEA." Yasumi spoke, setting down a suspicious piece of dark assembly letterhead on Kimberley's desk. The Archer looked it over, raising an eyebrow.

It read 'Prop 666-021014-D: Senator Sacrifice', and was a delightfully well notarized and well formatted proposition to kill and eat some of the senior most senators on the floor come next term as an offering to the Great Old Ones. Kimberley glared at Yasumi when she noticed her own name on that list.

Yasumi smiled. Probably trying to pull the same cutesy act as the Mage, but was far less effective at it. Something about the defleshed skull on top of her head and the hungry mouthful of sharp piranha teeth ready to pierce someone's jugular vein counteracted the spirit of the gesture.

Kimberley took her pen and very deliberately crossed her own name out, then filed it under 'PENDING REVIEW', as otherwise it was a very well formatted proposition.

"I'll have to look into it another time. Convincing the senators to surrender their flesh will require slightly more bribery than usual." Kimberley spoke.

"Dolvalky getting impatient. Need flesh. Need blood. Need suffering. Prinnies won't do. Need something bigger." The Sorcerer shrugged. Appeasing hungry deities was indeed, one of the chief functions of the dark assembly. Re-election cam-pains required donors, and ancient soul-devouring eldritch abominations tended to be more generous than the usual peons. Alas.

"I can't help you. Unfortunately, there aren't any other big-time demons worthy of sacrificing. So we'll have to make due." The Archer spoke, before standing up and gathering her things. "Maybe soon things will pick up around this town, and there'll be more sacrifices."

"Looking forward to future. Good! Have optimism so can be crushed later! Hope is first step on road to disappointment!" Yasumi saluted as Kimberley went home for the night, before returning to her cannibalistic capers.

BGM: ~Disgaea OST: Fearless Whisper~
watch?v=joSjEwCEJAo

That night, Back at Sally's house

After having spent the prinnies' hard earned cash on various treats in the convenience store, and wasting most of the afternoon riding on the coin-operated mechanical horsey ride outside the shop, the Mage headed home.

Sally's usual evening routine is to head inside, flop down on her big, overstuffed, Prinny-shaped beanbag chair, and watch cartoons or anime until the inevitable sugar crash kicked in, after which point she'd shamble into the shower or just flop into bed and slumber until the next morning, which was precisely what she did this evening!

Alas, she was not alone in all of this. The poor thief, patient for her mark, had actually fallen asleep waiting for the Mage to head home, but her catlike reflexes woke her up… and put her back to sleep after two false alarms.

Now though, she was sure of it, that her patience would pay off. Sticking to the undergrowth and foliage flanking the road, she kept an eye on where the Magician was heading, apparently unnoticed. The Mage MUST be rich! She's heading straight for that big fancy looking house.

"Jackpot, nyao~!" The thief cheered, as she arrived at the cul-de-sac and turned… left. To the rather modest, to put it lightly, shotgun shack that was her target's house across the street.

The thief was disappointed, briefly. Another bust? It had been ages since she made a good score, at least in this town. But not all was lost, her inner monologue started to make sense of what she was seeing.

'Hmm. The house on the left must be the servant's quarters. The Mage must be a butler or prinny matron or something.' Not an unfounded assumption. Due to their volatility and natural aroma, Prinny quarters tended to be located detached from the main house, in a nice reinforced building with strong walls and a loosely tacked on roof that would deflect any blast upward in the event of a chain reaction.

Master Thief's instinct inclined her towards the manor house rather than a mere prinny barracks, but as she scoped out the more interesting-looking of the two abodes, her better judgement started to kick in. 'Hmm. Big fancy house. Whoever lives there must be the richest person in town, and probably has a decent security system.'

And so, instead of breaking right on in, she decided on the safer approach; raid the servant house first. That Mage might even have a spare set of keys, or if she's a sensible servant, would be embezzling off of her master and have some stolen items of her own. With this in mind, the Thief deftly and with catlike tread approached the nearest window of the home, pulling out a nail file and sloooowly jimmying it open…

The Mage was there, snoozing soundly, wrapped in a comfy cocoon of pastel pink pillows and blankets. The Thief's entry went completely unnoticed, or so it seemed, drowned out by the little snores and coos of a slumbering pyromaniac.

And so the thief began to case the joint. No obvious security measures. No Prinnies. And no treasures of any kind. But what was this? A treasure chest? Surely there's something inside? Aha! The Mage's collection of magic items!

She would find Sally's 'staff of ultimate power +3' (a stick she found in the yard, with a couple of pinecones still attached), her 'robes of ultimate resistance' (made of trash bags and duct tape), her 'chaos orb' (a baseball with the word 'ORB' written on it in in magic marker), and her 'super muscle' (a dried out fried chicken drumstick).

The thief was disappointed again.

Meanwhile, the Mage felt a draft from the open window, and began to stir. Her pointy ears flicking as they picked up the noises of an intruder among her home, rooting through her prized possessions. She had certain expectations as to what devilish catburglers liked to do. "Mwaaahhh~ So comfy~ I hope no intruders are breaking in to ravish me~"

Silence.

Sally frowned. And muttered louder and with a slight tone of annoyance in her voice. "I said, I hope no intruders are breaking in to ravish me."

Cricket noises.

BGM: ~Disgaea 3 OST: アルもゆく?~
watch?v=49H2Oxgf3u8

Sally was quite cross now, and abruptly hopped out of bed, wearing only her pastel pink nightgown and Ribbon, looking rather pouty and cross. "H…hey! You can't just break in here like that. There's, like, totally rules and official procedures and stuff you gotta do!"

Her pout was met with a rolled up manga comic to her forehead. "Yeah. The Rule is you gotta have something worth stealing first, nyao~" The Master Thief replied, before bopping Sally again. "Prism Ranger dolls and bunny slippers aren't exactly hot items to pawn off y'know."

The Mage scoffed, and immediately made grabby hands at the comic held by the Cat Burglar. "H…hey! Gimmie that back!" She whined, flailing her noodly little arms at the intruder, who played keep away with her superior reflexes.

"Hah! Make me. If this thing's valuable to you I'll steal it right away, nyao~ I bet this is your secret dia…ry…" The thief then took a moment to examine the article. It had a risque picture of the Overlord and Evil Academy Dean on the cover. She thumbed through a few pages. Then immediately turned very red in the face and abruptly closed it. Yeah it was that kind of manga. She quickly handed it back to Sally and was very, very glad she was wearing gloves right now.

After the initial shock wore off, the sly thief's face contorted into its trademark mischievous cat-like grin. "Uuuu~ It seems we have a little fujoshi here, nyao. I know your type. You put on the cute face, cover yourself in pink, and infect the world with so much sugar everyone gets diabetes… but deep down you're a demon through and through! A little terror who loves tormenting people and causing chaos and mischief and perversion as much as everyone else, nyao."

"Yes I am!" Sally responded, putting her hands on her hips and proudly jutting her washboard of a chest out, not skipping a beat. It's true. The Mage girl may look and act childish, but she knew exactly what she liked doing. The aggressively cute persona was just her own little way of indulging in the Sin of Vanity it seemed. It's one of the undervalued ones! "Bein' heckin' cute as I am is, like, a Mage's job, y'know! That's why adventure guilds hire us! Well that and… uhm… magicking people to death, I guess."

"I guess…" The thief shrugged, and then stretched out as she lazily plopped down on the stool sitting infront of Sally's dresser. "I mean at least you're keeping upbeat and have some way of entertaining yourself in this town, nyao. There's barely even anything good to steal around here. You know you're in the middle of nowhere when a mage girl's yaoi collection is the top tier loot."

"Mwaaaah… I knoooow…" Sally shrugged, hanging her head and shoulders low. Seems that She and this Thief were in the same boat. Bored out of their little minds and grabbing at straws. "I wish something, like, fun would happen. That would bring some adventure and stuff!"

"Yeah. Adventure always brings plunder. If someone were to get a guild goin', I'd join it. Maybe hit up some demon lords or monster caves." The thief mused.

Sally opened her mouth to speak, holding up a single finger… but then stopped in her tracks.

Adventure.

Guild.

The Gears in her red head started turning. Her blank expression soon contorted into a smile. And she got that little twinkle in her eye that she usually did when she began to cook up a very, very, very bad idea. The same twinkle she got when she made the geo panel hopscotch court. The same twinkle she got when she did the thing with the boy healer and the wood chipper.

"Ooh, ooh! I know! We should found our own guild! With, like, lots of adventures! And loot! And items! And we can level up and get EXP and fight bosses and battle through dungeons and set everything on fire!" Sally spoke quickly, getting increasingly giddy with all this talk of mayhem.

Her enthusiasm was infectious it seems, as the cat thief started to perk up too. "Now there's an idea, nyao~ If we can get a guild going, we can at least hit up the Item World. Should be some goodies in there we can swipe!"

"Mhm, mhm! And I'll be, like, the boss! You can be my vassal! Uhm… wait what's your name?"

"Momoko. Master Thief Momoko, at your service, nyao." The thief responded. While she appreciated the Mage's boundless enthusiasm, she wasn't sure about putting her in charge. Still, she'd be decent as a public face. Or a meat shield.

"And we'll have a KICK ASS GUILD HQ!" Sally proclaimed. Doing her cheerful pose and hopping up and down again.

"Ooh, I even have a few ideas for one. Gotta have someplace to hide all the loot. Make sure it's the last place the po-po will search for it, nyao~" Momoko's cat-like grin returned. The Magician might be high strung but she's got all the basics a criminal enterprise of her caliber will need. "We'll start building tomorrow..."

BGM: ~Disgaea D2 OST: Next Departure~
watch?v=5PUwJ42f200

Tomorrow

The 'KICKASS GUILD HQ was done'. Before lunchtime even! It's no overlord's castle, but it was definitely a start, and befitting of Sally's… eccentric personality. It even had the words "KICKASS GUILD HQ" proudly fingerpainted on the side of it. Furthermore, it had certainly been designed in such a way that there's absolutely no chance the cops would ever think to search for stolen loot in there.

Probably because the structure was far too rickety and unsafe for them to even bother to climb into.

The Mage and Momoko had used some wood scraps and particle board from the local carpenter's shop to fashion a ramshackle treehouse in the large Hell-Oak in Sally's backyard. It had all the basics a guild HQ would need though. Walls, a Roof, a Floor, a couple of treasure chests to stick loot in, and some boards nailed to the side to make a ladder to climb up into it.

"Alrighty, nyao~ We're officially a real adventure guild! From here, the sky's the limit!" Momoko placed her hands on her hips as she admired the duo's work.

"Yep! We should have, like, a sleepover in here sometime! Guild training event! Ooh, and we should tell ghost stories!" Sally proclaimed, thinking of the possibilities.

"Good thinking, write all this down, nyao~ But guild adventuring isn't all about stories and fun. We gotta recruit new members! And we need, like… mmmh… well a name first off. How 'bout, 'Momoko's Marauders'?"

"Nope!" Sally stuck her tongue out at the thief.

"Sal-Lee and the Masters of the Momokoverse?"

"Nope!"

"Ms. Momoko and the Red Devil Bunch?"

"Hmm… Nope!"

"Well, I'm out of ideas." The thief shrugged.

The Mage pondered and rubbed her chin, the gears creaking in her adorable little brain, until finally, inspiration struck! "OOH! WAIT! I'VE GOT IT!"

"Yeah, yeah? What are we gonna call it, nyao?"

"We're gonna call it…" Sally paused dramatically, before spreading her arms in proclamation.

"The Disgaea Guild Adventure Squad!"

Momoko blinked twice. "What the HL does 'Disgaea' even mean?"

Chapter 1 - End

~~~A note from your Literary Overlord~~~

The adventure you have just read is actually a retelling of some of the more notable events of a Roleplay channel from a group on a site that will go unnamed for reasons. Due to a variety of factors, a few characters have been composited (such as the six or seven Etnas or ten or so Clergy that have been recruited over the years), and some events have been edited, dramatically recreated, or liberties taken, etc for story flow reasons. That being said most of the events in the fanfiction actually occurred in some way and are being dramatically retold for you, the reader.

This tale will focus heavily on the lives of the Disgaea's generic classes and some of their humorous interactions and Netherworldbuilding within the wild and wacky Disgaeaverse, though some familiar faces will surely make an appearance, as they have in our own little corner of the Netherworld.

Stay tuned for more, as the Adventure Squad prepares to start aggressive fundraising.