…The Disillusioned Of Winter…

/Warning/: This chapter contains, sadness and angst, a little bit of violence, a little bit of fluff, sad Steve, and sad Winter! All reviews are appreciated.

P.S: This is an Omegaverse story as in Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics; it also deals with the standard Winter Soldier's warnings, with that be careful and enjoy!

"Character talking"

"Character thinking"

…Flashbacks…

Chapter 8

A fog; that's what stilled over Steve's mind as he read the files that contained what happened to his mate in the last seventy years of his life. A thick fog, that was as thick as molasses, choking Steve and freezing him at the same time, weighing him down and down until all he can think and feel is nothing but a muted form of the world. Steve can see the files in his hands, he can understand the world separately, and strung together; he knows what they meant and what took place, and what was hidden between the lines. What Steve can't understand; what he can't comprehend was that these horrors happened to his mate, his Bucky, his… his Omega.

Surely his mind was overthinking things?

Surely, these words he was reading weren't true?

Surely he was going mad, right?

It was undoubtedly his imagination; because Steve knew if anything of what he read was true, then he would… he would… Steve couldn't even finish that line of thoughts, especially after his Alpha started to snarl and pace in its mental cage, hissing, and spitting and trying to switch places with Steve; trying to find those worms who dared to hurt his Omega and use him, returning him broken and scarred beyond saving.

Torture, starvation, beatings, sexual assaults, multiple miscarriages, and a stillborn, cannibalism, and much more hidden under the surface that Steve didn't know about, or even understand while reading, because sure as hell everything he read went over his head, especially, after he read the report about his Omega's first miscarriage.

Bucky Barnes killed my baby!

His Omega's broken voice filtered through the fog that blanketed his mind, causing Steve to stiffen and curl around himself tightly, his Alpha howling his fury and anger to the world that wronged his mate before his death and after his death… all because Steve was weak, all because he was dying, all because Steve had to be stupid enough to die and leave Bucky in this cruel but beautiful world all alone…

No, no, no, no, no, no!

It was Hydra; it was Hydra that killed Bucky's baby… babies?

It was Hydra!

Winter, my name is Winter! Not Bucky Barnes, it's Winter!

It's Bucky; it's Bucky!

His name was James 'Bucky' Buchanan Barnes, formally known as James 'Bucky' Buchanan Rogers!

That meant Winter was Bucky Barnes!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

Bucky Barnes is dead, he is dead!

We named him, we bond him to us, he is ours; what's left is ours!

Steve stilled at that, his Alpha hissed at him from behind his cage, the beast's scattered emotions and anger finally formed a sentence that Steve can understand without feeling like he was standing on his tiptoes in the middle of a lake trying desperately to breathe in the air instead of water. What's left… there was nothing left of his mate in the husk waiting for Steve in the recovery room. What's left was nothing but a scared Omega that feel detachment to his own memories and body, blaming himself (Not Bucky Barnes, my name is Winter!) for the misfortune that befallen him, while ignoring the true villain in all of this which was Steve, who wasn't strong enough to protect his Omega.

Our Omega!

We named him…

Winter, my name is Winter!

We bond him to us…

I wanted you to choose me, not Bucky Barnes… so if I undergo this surgery it meant that you choose me for it…

He is ours…

A soft kiss; a rushed kiss from his Omega, a clumsy in a way that told Steve his mate never kissed anyone before (Or doesn't remember what kissing anyone feels like) before the Omega left Steve shocked and breathless.

What's left is ours!

A broken Omega who doesn't remember the past; an Omega who knew him but at the same time doesn't. An Omega that was Steve's heart and the other part of his soul; broken and crying as he was compared to Bucky Barnes once more…

The Alpha in him was right; Winter was right… and Steve… he was blind…

Bucky Barnes had died in a way, that was the ultimate truth that Steve tried to ignore and bury deep into the ground when Winter showed up in front of him; injured and half-frozen, while muttering 'Stevie' and 'Please' and 'Help' under his breath, unconscious but begging Steve to save him even if part of him doesn't remember Steve. Bucky Barnes died over seventy years ago, and it wasn't because of his fall from the train in the alps; no, he died while strapped to 'The Chair' over and over again. 'The Chair'; a torture device that took everything that was Bucky Barnes and erase it out of existence until nothing but a scared husk lived to tell the tale; a husk that turned into a vengeful spirit. An entity that doesn't know why it was being hurt and tortured, only that the person before him (Bucky, Bucky, his lovely Bucky who was broken into nothing) was the reason he was there.

And wasn't it a blow to the soul? A hit that paralyzed Steve as well as made him curse the fates?

Winter was the thing that was left after Bucky found it too hard to continue in the hell that was Hydra; Winter probably just woke up one day confused and scare and doesn't even know where he was or remember who he is. Winter was hurt and tortured daily while thinking that he was nothing but a ghost that was possessing Bucky Barnes's body; being able to remember a life that Bucky lived but wasn't able to feel connected to it. Winter who remembered Bucky's life before the war, where he had home, and felt safe, where he had a mate and a baby and was never subjected to pain; for Winter who knew nothing but humiliation, pain, and loss, of course, he would hate Bucky on some level for throwing everything he had a way to sign for the war.

And wasn't it funny? That Steve finally managed to open his eyes and see things from Winter's point of view and that was only after he read Winter's life story from the pages that detailed his life for the past seventy years? A life that consists of nothing but experiments, torture, being frozen in ice over and over, forced pregnancy and miscarriage, an isolated life that made Winter think of himself as nothing but a weapon and a tool. Of course, Winter would be angry at Bucky (Even if the two of them were one person) of course Winter would think that Bucky was the reason he was in this dilemma, that he throw his life away for the life of torture and pain.

How stupid was Steve to not realize that until now?

Winter was Bucky, and Bucky was Winter; the two of them were one person but the difference is that Winter managed to survive the torture and getting out of the other side broken and confused, trying to find himself in this big scary world; a world without torture and orders, a world that was so different than what he was used to, a world that always compared him to Bucky Barnes when he was a survivor who decided to forge a different path that's different than the one he walked seventy years ago.

Winter was Bucky, and Bucky was Winter; but Steve discarded Winter completely and chose to focus only on Bucky and his recovery, ignoring the hurting Omega he was leaving behind in the process (Steve knew he did even if everyone around him thinks it was the other way around). This mess was his fault, it was completely his fault; every tear that Winter shed from the day they met until now was his fault because he decided that one part of his mate deserves more attention than the other when in truth all parts should have gotten the attention they deserve. If only Steve wasn't blind to the facts.

Protect, protect, protect; protect!

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill; kill!

Protect and kill; that's what his Alpha was chanting over and over in his head, nearly causing him to curl over himself from the pain he was experiencing, for his Alpha was hissing and chanting and leaving no space for any other thoughts than his loud voice demanding from Steve to protect their Omega and kill anyone who dared to come near him or breath his way.

Let me out, let me out; out, out, out!

A snarl bubbled in Steve's throat and he had to swallow harshly, tightening his hands around the file in his hands and nearly ripping it to shreds as he tried to calm his raging Alpha; a battle that Steve was losing by the second, a battle that Steve doesn't care if he lost if it meant he was going to protect his Omega, his mate, his Winter/Bucky.

No leaving… no hunting… He needs us…

Was the only thing Steve managed to hiss back at his Alpha which gained him a raging snarl in return before the Alpha gave a petulant hiss, but agreeing reluctantly when Steve once again projected the image of Winter crying in his bed, looking so small as he told Steve that he wanted to be chosen and not Bucky Barnes for once. Winter needs him, he needs him now more than ever to be assured that Steve had chosen Winter and not the ghost that weigh him down and drown him into the depth of oblivion; Steve was damned if he let his Alpha loose on Hydra while leaving his unstable Omega alone, further cementing the nasty thoughts of him not being wanted in his mind.

Mark territory… not leave… warn others… protect Omega…

That was what his Alpha growled which made Steve swallow and breath through his nose; trying to hold on to his tatter control, fearing that his Alpha would do the opposed of what he stated, especially when the bloodlust coursing through Steve was any indication. "S… S-Steve?" Steve managed to hear through the fog that blanketed him, but he paid no attention, especially, when his Alpha snarled and started trying to break through the mental cage that traps it, using Steve's distraction as a chance to escape. "Steve…" Another call of someone's name and it was his, right? He was sure it was his, but everything was getting foggy and dizzy as he felt only the desire to be near his mate, to protect him while killing anyone coming near him… maybe, maybe he should close his eyes a little, and take a deep breath to calm himself before the bloodlust envelop him completely and drown him. "Steve, a-are you…" That was the last thing Steve managed to hear before his Alpha finally broke through his cage with a roar, letting Steve gaze at what was taking place around him passively as he let The Alpha handle everything until his raging mind stopped trying to split his head open…

His Alpha seemed to growl approvingly at that…

Slowly, Winter's consciousness returned to him, causing him to shuffle in the bed before he stilled, tensing unconsciously as he realized that he didn't know what woke him up, to begin with. The hair on his body raised on its ends, and the harsh stare on his back informed Winter of what really woke him up, which caused the Omega to bite his lower lip and close his eyes tightly, trying to pretend he was sleeping; he didn't know from where such a childish reaction came to light, but he had a feeling that the person behind him was dangerous… so very dangerous… and the one who confirmed Winter's claim was his instincts (His Omega, his other half, his instinctual self who always stood by his side and helped him to see) cowering in fear with its tail between its legs, curling around to make itself smaller and less noticeable.

Winter was scared… really scared… an emotion he was closely associated with, but never to this extent; Winter never felt so scared that he wanted to curl into a tight ball under the bed he was sleeping on, holding his breath and closing his eyes until the presence behind him disappeared… who was the person behind him? Can it be? No, no, no! It's impossible, crazy; delusional even! That person… creature… died sixty years ago.

"You are awake…" The person behind Winter spoke, nearly causing the asset to jump out of bed in fear, but his muscles tensed as tight as a bowstring without his input, locking him in place; it took several minutes before he managed to categorize who the voice belonged to, and when Winter did, all the tension left his body as he turned around to greet Handler Rogers, happy that the man finally came to see him.

It was the crimson eyes that greeted him that caused Winter to still in his place and for the grateful smile to slip from his lips; he was frozen in place once more, but this time with an even more hysterical Omega who was whining and crying out in fear, whispering 'Alpha' and 'Angry' over and over, causing Winter's breath to be trapped in his lung. "H… H-Handler…" Winter tried to choke out, but when those crimson eyes became sharp at the words Winter was going to utter the Omega closed his mouth so harshly a clicking sound was heard.

"I remember telling you to call me by my name…" The Alpha spoke after a few minutes of tense silence, causing the Omega to nearly jump out of his skin at those words… Oh, God, oh, God; oh, God! How did Winter forget about that? his handler always told him to call him either 'Steve' or 'Rogers', never 'Handler' or 'Handler Rogers'… Winter's lips trembled as he held his breath, waiting for his punishment that was going to take a place after defying his Handler.

"I… sorry…" Winter whispered against his will, his eyes following his handler's every movement, and he nearly whine in terror when he saw the Alpha walk to him from his place (Leaning on the far wall) and came to sit near him on the bed, causing Winter's muscles to tighten and tense so much, that it was a wonder how he didn't snap into tiny little pieces from how tensed he was.

"You are mine…" His handler suddenly, stated, causing Winter's eyes to snap to the Alpha, wondering if what he heard was true, or it was a thought his terrified mind decided to come with to calm him down. "You are my Omega, mine… what's left is ours…." The Alpha said his words didn't make sense to Winter at all, causing him to furrow his brows in confusion, wondering about what the Alpha meant. "You are mine… not Hydra…" That gained a hitched gasp from Winter who could only gaze at the Alpha with wide eyes, his hand clenching the sheets tightly as he gazed at the Alpha whose crimson eyes were fixed on him. "You are mine… Bucky… Winter… Omega… I don't care, what's left is mine and no one else… mine to protect, mine to mate… to love… to punish… not Hydra… mine." His handler whispered, his words were loud and clear to Winter's ears, causing his breath to become labored and his body to flush, the declaration of ownership stole his breath away, and his Omega that was shivering in fear since he woke up, still in its place, raising its head to steal a glance at the powerful Alpha that stated he would mate and protect him.

Heart pounding in his chest, Winter's eyes took in the Alpha looming over him, taking in the intense crimson eyes that seemed to glow in the dark, taking in how the Alpha looked bigger, stronger… more dangerous… Alpha… this was 'The Alpha'; the beast his handler seemed to hide from Winter, and only now did he dare to show it to Winter to stake his claim on the Omega… an action that made Winter's face become hot and for his limbs to squirm. "You… you never activated The Blue Protocol…" Winter decided to whisper back, to contradict his Alpha's words with the actions he made before, how he refused Winter to be his mate… how he left Winter alone when he was supposed to claim him!

The Alpha only tilts his head to the side, humming before leaning toward Winter, until the tips of their noses touched and they shared one breath. "Why would I claim my Omega when he thinks I am Hydra?" The Alpha asked in a low voice, his words breaking the spell that seemed to have been cast on Winter, causing ice to run through his veins instead of blood as he gazed at the crimson eyes above him with wide blue-grey ones. "Why would I mate my Omega… when my Omega is always afraid of me… when my Omega thinks that I am nothing but a monster like Hydra who would abandon him and throw him to the beasts… when my Omega doesn't tell me anything but wait for me to tighten the noose on his neck?" The Alpha stated, pulling away to sit straight, gazing at Winter who was shaken in his place, gazing at the Alpha with glistering eyes… how? How did the Alpha know? "He… he was blind…" The Alpha mumbled as he stood up from the bed gazing at Winter who was shaken but refused to take his eyes away from the Alpha. "But instincts recognize like." Winter swallowed, sitting up slowly and gazing at the Alpha with an expecting look, wondering what he is to do when the man just continued to gaze at him with those knowing crimson eyes, making the hair on Winter's body stand on its ends and for anger to simmer under his skin.

"I am not Bucky Barnes…" Winter stated, gaining another knowing look from the Alpha before him before the Alpha grinned sharply, a smile full of teeth that made a shiver run down Winter's spine. "I will never be him… he is dead… I made sure of that…" Winter confessed, waiting for the retaliation the Alpha in front of him no doubt was going to execute, especially when Winter informed him about the secret of him managing to purge Bucky Barnes's consciousness out of this body… Bucky Barnes had it coming for him; he had it coming for him! All he ever did was throw Winter in the line of harm; all he ever did was do the wrong things, making his handlers angry at him, and when it came the time to punish him, he would throw Winter to the wolves while he went away to the safety of unconsciousness, leaving Winter to handle the beating and name-calling and the hurt… it was within Winter's right! It was within his rights to get rid of the person who only brought him when people hurt them and then throw Winter away when it was all over; leaving him to curl in pain and hurt while he walk unscathed and reap the rewards that were meant for Winter, for a job well-done.

"What's left after the fall is you… and you are mine… not Hydra… not Captain America… not the government… mine and only mine…" The Alpha hissed them his hands clenching into tight fists, causing Winter to shiver and wet his lips at the declaration of the Alpha accepting who he was and still wanting him to be his, even if it meant that Bucky Barnes was no longer in the picture.

"Activating The Blue Protocol?" Winter suddenly asked, excited by the prospect of the Alpha making him his, by accepting him as Winter and not forcing him to be Bucky Barnes when the Omega was already dead for more than fifty years. If Alpha accepted him, then Handler Rogers would accept him in return, and choose him for him, not because this body belonged to Bucky Barnes once upon a time… if Winter managed to make the Alpha claim him as a life-long mate, then he doesn't need to fear what was going to be take a place in the faraway future… Winter doesn't need to fear Hydra or his handler giving him back to them, because they would be lifelong mates, and mates don't abandon each other.

"No…" The Alpha said, causing Winter's heart to sink and for his lips to tremble at the public rejection his Alpha just gave him… didn't the Alpha say that Winter was his? Then why was he refusing to give Winter his mark? His Omega let out a snarl of outrage, and before Winter retaliate by attacking the Alpha and ripping his heart out, the Alpha was in front of him once more, his eyes glowing and stilling Winter in place. "I told you… I will not claim an Omega who doesn't trust me to protect them… tell me, how many times did you think I would throw you away since you woke up?" The Alpha asked with curiosity coloring his voice, causing Winter to swallow and look away, not even he know how many times the thought of his Alpha abandoning him flashed before his mind eye. "I see…" The Alpha hum, causing Winter to grit his teeth and for him to clinch the sheet with his remaining hand tightly; wanting to snap at the Alpha in front of him and demand that he tell Winter what he sees… not even Handler Rogers was this infuriating when he handled Winter; Handler Rogers just make Winter really sad, and near tears constantly. But this Alpha… this part of Handler Rogers, made Winter snarl in both anger and fear, and for his hand clenched tightly into a fist ready to punch the man both to protect himself and showing his displease. "Talk to us… abandoned your fear… and when you find your strength to trust and speak out loud without fearing the consequences… we can talk about claiming." The Alpha suddenly stated, making Winter whip his head to the man so fast it was a wonder that he didn't get whiplash.

"Wait!" Winter called out when he saw the Alpha back away and started walking to the door, intended to leave Winter once more to his thoughts as he went and disappeared for the whole night. The Alpha though didn't stop even when Winter called out once more, leaving silently just as he came. Winter though can only gaze at the door with a shocked and confused look on his face, his breath picking up slightly as whatever strength Winter wanted to gather to stand up and chase after the Alpha evaporate.

A smile suddenly took over Winter's lips without his permission or input; hope course through him as he replayed his conversation with Handler Rogers over and over again, attacking the words from every angle in hope of finding the hidden meaning behind it…. His… Handler Rogers claimed him as his Omega… the man choose him and not Bucky Barnes… the Alpha gave him time to reevaluate everything before claiming him completely as a life-long mate. Talk, abandon your fears, and find your strength… three loud and clear orders… No! Protocols! The Alpha gave Winter, three protocols that if Winter followed and understood to the fullest, Handler Rogers was going to claim him as a mate… three new protocols, and many different information, the Alpha gave Winter, pointing out his weakness and the reason that his Alpha refused to claim him before…

Not Hydra… Handler Rogers always said that, he always assured Winter that he was not Hydra; but deep down Winter always refused to believe the man, especially when he abandoned Winter the first time (But was he really the one who abandon Winter, or was Bucky Barnes who walked to Hydra with open arms?) but now, after talking with the Alpha; after being reassured that he was Alpha's and that he was not Hydra, Winter started hoping once more. No Hydra, no Captain America, and no government was going to take Winter away from Alpha… especially when the man, made his intention of claiming Winter known; now all Winter need to do is abandon the weakness that made his handler refuse him the first time. All Winter need to do, is follow the new protocols that his Alpha gave him and learn to trust the man just as he stated; all Winter need to do is focus loud and clear, and study every action and their consequences before making them, and hopefully, when he executed everything perfectly, his Alpha was finally going to claim him and mark him…

Winter couldn't help but feel excited at that thought…

Married…

Bucky Barnes was married…

The Omega was married to his Alpha…

Bucky Barnes was married to Steven Grant Rogers…

The two of them were involved for over ten years…

Bucky Barnes was married…

These words continued to loop over and over again in Tony's mind; leaving him frozen in his place as he continued to repeat the words Arnie and Michael told him… the secrets they entrusted him with… Tony gazed at the scenery in front of him with a dazed look on his face, watching buildings, cars, and people pass by; having given up on trying to hack and search the military database about everything that contain the name Steven Grant Rogers knowing that if he wanted to know something about Steven Grant Rogers, then he would have to walk into the military archives and go through dusty papers to gain any sort of useful information; even then who can quarantine that the military would allow Tony to see the papers containing information about Steven Grant Rogers and Bucky Buchanan Barnes?

"Married since Barnes turned twenty…"

"Bucky was so in love wit' Stevie Rogers, dat he chased him since he was sixteen and proposed tuh him fawh ovuh 300 times…"

"Scrawny Alpha dat nevuh backed away from a fight, wit' a righteous self dat can surpass anyone, even Captain America dat everyone seemed tuh hero-wawhship…"

"Always protect people in need, whoevuh called him askin' fawh his help, he would move heaven and earth tuh help dem…"

"… He died… savin' a child from a wolf dat ran away from de zoo… That's what dey told us tuh say, but everyone knows de military were behind it…"

So many more secrets the two shared with Tony… so many stories they told Tony about the Alpha known as Steven Grant Rogers… his stubbornness, his righteous self, his adventures, how he was ninety bound soaked wet but even then it didn't stop him from getting into fights… they told him about Bucky, how the Omega followed Rogers since he was sixteen, always protecting him, always flirting with him, always asking for his hand in marriage even when it was supposed to be the other way around… a beautiful and fierce Omega who never acknowledge anyone who came asking for his hand, no matter how rich and handsome they were, always following Rogers around like a baby duck until the Alpha finally man up to admit of liking him and wanting to be with him after years of pursuit.

Tony heard Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers's stories… so many happy stories, sad stories, funny stories; and many others in between that entertained and moved Tony as he continued to hear the tales that Arnie and Michael waved for him him. The tales of the most stubborn Alpha to exist and his Omega that was fierce and would punch anyone who came near his husband; mated pair that were so far away from the normal stereotyping of their time… mated pair that lived on borrowing time from the start.

A scrawny Alpha with so many ailments that could fill a whole book…

An Omega who loved and protect his Alpha fiercely that everyone knew he wouldn't survive if he ever lost his husband…

Everyone knew that Steven Rogers would have either died from a stray disease or that the next fight he participated in would be his last one…

Everyone knew…

And yet Bucky Barnes always stayed by his side even when Steven Rogers discouraged him…

"Sir, we are here…" Happy's calm voice snapped Tony out of his dazed state, causing the man to blink his eyes several times to realize that, yes, they were exactly where they should be. Rows and rows of headstones caused Tony to clench his hands tightly to fists before he finally gathered the courage he needed to get out of the car, giving Happy instructions of what to do as he made his journey to the graves that he seeks…

The journey took time… maybe ten minutes… maybe half an hour… Tony doesn't know, nor did he care when he finally stood in front of the headstones he seek, his gaze not straying from the two graves in front of him, making notes of how clean and well-kept they were; icy water running in his veins instead of warm blood as he read the description and the names on the headstones. One belonged to Bucky Barnes who was still alive by a miracle from God (Or the insanity of a mad scientist who wanted to play a God on the poor Omega) and one belonged to the Alpha everyone talked about with sad smiles...

Steven G. Rogers.

1915-1945

A loving and much loved husband, friend, and a father…

It was the last word that made Tony tighten his hand on the flowers bouquet he managed to pick in his way, his eyes blurred as he read and reread the headstone over and over again, always freezing in his place when he reached the last word… father… Steven Rogers was a father… that made Tony still in his place, his hands were shaking so much that it was a wonder the bouquet in his hand didn't scatter all around.

A father… if Steven Rogers was a father… then that meant… that meant Bucky Barnes was one as well… it meant that there was a child involved in the equation… how old is the child now? Sixty years? Seventy? How old was the child when the military made him disappear just as they made Steven Rogers disappear from the world? How old was he when they throw him into an orphanage and told him that this was his life from now on? A child whose father died because of a wolf attack (It was de military, lad, everyone knew at dat time dey were doin' experiments in Brooklyn) a child whose other father/mother died because they fell off a train not six months later… a child who everyone around him painted his mother as nothing but Captain America's soul mate while forgetting about his father's existence…

How delusional was Peggy Carter that she didn't see?

How can she face Tony daily and talk about the life she could have had with Bucky Barnes if the man didn't fall from the train? Did she really not know about Steven Rogers? Did she not know about the child, Barnes and Rogers had before the war? Was the military threatening Barnes with his own child so that he can keep quiet and play the role of Captain America's slut? Just thinking about that made Tony sick, it made him sick to the bones. What would Bucky Barnes do when he remembers? What would he do when he remember the husband and the child he left behind? Thinking about that, cause nothing but dread to crawl up Tony's spine as he swallowed harshly, kneeling down to put the flowers on Rogers's grave.

"I…" Tony opened his mouth, hoping that a few words would leave his throat that seemed to be closing up and choking him… Even a small prayer would do, just say something… Tony's mind hissed back, but even then he could do nothing but gaze at the grave before him. Never in his life, did Tony think that he would feel this helpless again; the only other time it happened was when his parents were taken from him, to think that this feeling would creep back on him, and for a stranger no less, made Tony dumbfounded.

"Who are you?" A voice came from behind Tony, causing him to still before he turned to the caller, tensing a little in his place when his eyes fell on the Alpha woman before him… Rebecca Barnes's daughter or something… "You!" Snarled the woman when she finally got a clear look on Tony's face, causing her to hiss and crack her knuckles preparing for a fight. "What the fuck are you doing here? Didn't I say that we want nothing to do with the Carter bitch and the military?" The woman growled as she took a threatening step toward Tony, causing the man to flinch and scramble to stand up, nearly tripping and falling on his ass in his haste, but Tony just tense and waited for the punch that would break his nose any second now, closing his eyes as he waited… only for nothing… when Tony opened his eyes once more, he was greeted by the sight of the woman before him being fixated on the flowers Tony put on Steve's grave; the anger and hate that were simmering in her eyes seemed to fade away as sadness and heartbreak took over. "You put those?" The woman asked after what looked like an hour but was only a few minutes later.

"Y-yes…" Tony said, gaining a hum from the woman who seemed to forget about Tony as she went to Steven Rogers's grave, putting the flowers in her hands beside the ones he brought, seeming lost in thought as she gazed at the headstone with a tired look in her eyes (Eyes that looked way older than a woman of forty should ever have) awkwardly, Tony swallowed and looked around, before deciding to stand behind the woman, making sure to keep his distance in case the woman before him decided that a punch was in order.

"They were happy…" The woman suddenly stated out of blue, causing Tony to blink several times before he noticed that the woman was talking to him and was now looking at him. "They were happy…" She repeated, gazing at Tony with a look that meant he needed to understand her words and listen to them carefully. "It's true that they didn't have much; that they always struggle because of Stevie falling sick, or there wasn't enough money… but they were happy… Bucky finally managed to get a permanent office job that was high-paying; fancy and rich people were started to get interested in Stevie's art and were buying it… they gathered enough money to buy a beautiful house, and there was a baby on the way… they were finally happy…" The woman's voice started to fade away until it was nothing but a pained whisper, but she didn't need to say it out loud, not when Tony managed to hear her loud and clear, understanding her words.

"Then the war happened…" Tony continued, his words gaining a hitched breath from the woman as her eyes returned back to the grave before her with a pained look in her blue-grey eyes; swallowing tightly around the lump in his throat, Tony gazed at the woman who knew way too much and feels way too much to be told about these words second-handed. "Who are you?" Tony finally dared to ask, his words causing the woman to pause before she turned to Tony, raising her eyebrow as a smile slowly took over her face…

"My name is Rebecca Barnes-Proctor… Bucky's little sister." The woman stated as she stood up, her words freezing Tony and causing him to let out a dumb 'Huh?!' as he blinked several times before narrowing his eyes, trying to understand what the woman said to him… Bucky Barnes's sister? How old was the woman standing in front of him?! Tony would swear up and down that Bucky Barnes's sister was supposed to be eighty years old lady, not a woman who didn't look older than forty years old with a killer right hook and scary skills with a gun!

Tony needed a drink…

Like, recognize like…

That's what his Alpha hissed to him when Steve finally regain control over his body once more, his eyes dazed and his mind foggy as he looked at the force he was in; taking note of the blood-covered snow and the deer carcasses that would probably feed the whole town when he was going to bring them… his memory was foggy and distant, and when everything cleared up and he remembered what took place with Winter; Steve screamed and snarled and hissed at his stupid Alpha who did dare to say such words to Winter when the Omega didn't even know what he wants.

Like, recognize like!

His Alpha had roared, his snarl gained a growl from Steve who clenched his bloody fists tightly, breathing harshly through his nose as he tried to calm down before he did something that he would regret; if Steve stayed emotional and unstable even a second more, his Alpha would probably take it as a chance to take over once more, doing something even more stupid and insensitive like how he did with Winter…

A chained animal is always one who waits for orders… even when owners change…

That... it was those words that made the fight leave Steve and for horror to grip his body, sickness rise in his throat as he listens to his Alpha's reasoning; finally opening his mind to his instinctual-self point of view… finally understanding Winter... after all these months the Omega lived with him, Steve finally managed to understand the person that was once upon a time his mate…

Steve ended up losing his dinner in the bushes…

Hysteria was a small word to descript what Steve felt when he finally stopped retching what he managed to eat the night before (Both in his human and wolf form) his breath erected and his eyes wild and darting around the place in horror. Panic, horror, self-loath, pain, and so many more emotions were drowning Steve under their depth, causing his breath to be stolen from him as his Alpha ignored his emotional torment and gave him the facts loud and clear without sugar-coating a thing; giving him a bitter and hard pill to swallow while ignoring his gags and gasps for breath.

Stupid… stupid… stupid… why was Steve so stupid and blind before?

These words were the broken record that continued to loop in his head over and over again, his eyes gazing at the branches over him as he leaned on the tree behind him; his mind too tired and his eyes burning up from crying too much. His Alpha was satisfied with his torment, snorting and growling at Steve for how stupid he was; which the man didn't fight even when his Alpha got bored and turned away in his mental prison.

Logic and instincts are two faces of the same coin… can't live with them can't live without them… can't surpass one of them… it meant death to both parts… you blind us when you choose to cage me away… we are one… one…

That was the last thing his Alpha said before turning away, cutting his connection with Steve and leaving the Alpha in his place, dazed and powerless to the sound logic his Alpha applied. Gazing at his hands which were covered in blood with an unfocused look on his face as he repeated those words over and over again; biting his lip hard until he tasted blood, grounding himself to the present.

As much as Steve wanted to snap and scream that this wasn't his fault, that he didn't mean it, he knew he would be lying to himself and would do nothing but anger the Alpha side of him. It was right, everything the Alpha said was right, and it all started after Steve managed to complete his transformation, where he then ran to the battlefield in Europe trying to search for his mate high and low, hoping that Bucky would accept him back after he showed him that he was strong, healthy… alive… what Steve found, though, wasn't Bucky. What he found was confirmation of his mate's death, and his left arm mangled and ripped while the wolves and other predatory animals fought over it, his blood staining the rocks and snow in the place he fell before it disappeared completely.

That was the breaking point for Steve… that's why when he managed to bury the arm and what he managed to find of his Bucky, Steve decided to forsake his instincts and wolf completely, wanting to live the rest of his life alone without his instincts clouding his judgment and ordering him to search for his dead mate (And he did, he searched for Bucky all around the world for twenty-five years before he settle here in the late sixties)… without them reminding him that he was killing himself slowly in his grief… but then Bucky turned out to be alive… and Steve never seemed to manage to understand him completely; even while giving him his space and always stress on not being Hydra and that Bucky was free, it always backfires and Bucky (His name is Winter) had a breakdown or say some words that broke what's left of Steve's heart.

To think… that his Alpha would be the one who saw… who understood… all because Steve throw him in the far corner of his mind and chained him behind a cage, only to get out when Steve deem it necessary or when he was emotionally compromised… I am sorry… Steve whimpered in his mind, his Alpha stirring in interest, before huffing and closing their connection once more, though, not without informing Steve that he needed to do better than that… which against his will, caused a laugh to bubble in Steve's throat that was hard to control.

It was after a few hours that Steve managed to move his body, walking slowly to the stream nearby to wash away the blood that covered him from his last night hunt, wincing as he wondered what he was going to say when he told his friends about the deer that were waiting to be picked up (Excluding the ones his Alpha mauled in his rage) he was sure that everyone was going to panic when they noticed the number of kills that took place last night, thinking that Steve was angry and unstable, which the elders would take as a chance to stick their noses in his business and try to find him a mate in the hope 'Of calming your Alpha down, and curbing the madness festering inside you!' or something of this like; forty years and you would think the elders got the gest of Steve not being interested in mating at all, especially with his Omega finally being back in his arms once more.

It took time before Steve was clean enough to make the journey back home, where he ended up calling Sam, and telling him to bring a few of Shuri's guards with them to bring the prey he managed to hunt. Needless to say, even Sam had to wince and look at Steve with disbelieving when they arrived at the hunting ground; asking Steve over and over again how he managed to hunt a herd of deer like this in the winter and kill them all off, which was something that even Steve didn't know how his Alpha managed.

The trek back to where Shuri and Bucky were staying took time, but Steve managed to calm down enough by then that even Sam didn't flinch at his scowl anymore, which was reassuring in a way. Reaching the jet, Steve was surprised when his eyes fell on Winter who was sitting near the entrance of the jet while swinging his legs, a heavy blanket covering him as he looked lost in thoughts. "He had been waiting for you since morning, wouldn't move from this spot; go talk to him," Sam said, pushing Steve to Winter's direction while leading the rest of their party to the jet; no doubt planning a feast with the meat Steve managed to hunt.

"Winter…" Steve called out, his voice nothing but a whisper; but that was enough because the Omega snapped his head when he seemed to have heard Steve, his eyes wide as he stood up, swaying slightly before running toward Steve, holding him tightly in a crushing hug that left Steve confused and dumbfounded. "Winter…" Steve whispered cautiously, not knowing from where the change of personality suddenly came, his Alpha stirred once more, interest painting every fiber in his being as he seemed to study the Omega that was shivering from the coldness but still refused to let go of Steve.

"I want to go home." Winter suddenly said out loud freezing Steve in his place causing his breath to hitch and his hands came to rest on the Omega's shoulders. "I want to go home, I don't like it here; I don't like scientists or doctors because they remind me of Hydra… I… I don't want to stay here." Winter's voice crack as he said these words, his hand tightened on Steve's shirt as he pushed his head harshly against Steve's chest. Steve gazed at the Omega with a dumbfounded look, his eyes were wide and his jaw dropped at the declaration the Omega stated out loud; his heart beating loudly in his chest like it was about to jump out any second now. Steve could only tighten his arms around Winter, shushing the shaking Omega and reassuring him that they were going home…

Steve couldn't help but note how his Alpha side was smug…

So what do you think?

Finally, another chapter is here!

Poor Steve and Winter!

Well… everyone in this fic needs a hug, but still; Winter took a huge step forward!

Read and Review

And tell me what you think…

Nazaki-Sama