Disgaea Guild Adventure Squad

by Ironwatsas

Meet Sally! Red Mage & cutest lil' pyromaniac in the entire Netherworld! (*self proclaimed) With a spring in her step and a lil' flame in her heart, she and her retinue of infernal companions scamper across the Netherworlds, on a quest for Adventure! EXP! Items! And most importantly, Sweets! Will she fulfill her dream of becoming the Cutest Overlord Ever? Read to find out!

6. Chapter 6: Rabbit Robbery

Chapter 6: Rabbit Robbery

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BGM: ~Phantom Brave OST: Grand March~
watch?v=eWn3LtCqr7I

At the Disgaea Guild Adventure Squad HQ

"Alright you goons, listen up!" General George S. Clergy spoke, wearing an army helmet with a bunch of glitter-covered gold star stickers on the front, a bunch of medals made of bottlecaps and candy wrappers pinned to the front of his dress, and brandishing an oil dipstick instead of a riding crop. He stepped up on top of an overturned box of nectarines and posed dramatically in front of the Netherworld Flag.

"I want you to remember that no Demon ever won an adventure by, like, y'know, getting hurt and needing to be healed. You might have heard people saying that our adventure squad is a bunch of two-bit losers that don't have any fight in them! Well, those people are, like, all dead now! I poisoned them! So that counts as winning the fight, yeh? Anyway, yaddah yadda… something about cleaning the goo off your best friend's face. Gotta remember the words, and… uhhh…it's been a while since I've seen this movie so…"

"Can we get on with it, nyao?" Momoko frowned, looking bored as she lay with her midsection through Sally's tire swing, slowly spinning in place. The Anti-Messiah had called some kind of 'Super important super briefing', and so the entirety of the adventure squad was now gathered in the Mage's backyard beneath the treehouse HQ. None of whom seemed particularly thrilled to be there if all they were going to do is watch a cosplay rehearsal.

"Yeah. Prism Rangers comes on at four." Ari shrugged, hovering alongside the Mage, who was sitting on an overturned laundry basket, with Robin trapped underneath.

"Okay okay, I'm gettin' to it, sheesh. Everyone's a critic! So, anyway! We have this guild, right? And we have all these peeps here, right? But, y'know what we don't have? Money! Experience! Stuff!" The Clergy continued, finally getting on point.

"Yep. You're right. I have absolutely no items or valuables whatsoever, nyao." Momoko lied. The last thing she wanted was these dummies to go poking around in her hoard. She had enough problems installing Mage-proof locks and bars over the windows after the forest fire incident.

"Exactly, so! As our official consultant on adventuring matters, I suggest we head to the Item World and go scare up some loot! Who here is with me?" He exclaimed, raising his right fist up in the air in a triumphant cheer. Getting his new source of cheap labor/meat shields/valued guild members all psyched up to make him some money.

"Heh! Now you're speakin' my language, nyao." Momoko finally hopped out of the tire swing and began to flex her muscles, getting limbered up as she anticipates much thieving ahead.

"Uhmm… like who made you the adventure consultant anyway? What even is that? We don't have one on the guild roster!" Sally asked, glaring at the Clergy skeptically, holding up a clipboard with a few official positions sketched on. Most of the clerical roles she had assigned to her stuffed animals anyway.

"I did! Invented the position myself! If the position doesn't exist, I can just make it up as I go, right? Isn't that, like, something you can do in Netherworld Law?" The Anti-Messiah asked, holding up his official documentation on the position of 'Adventure Consultant', which he hastily drew on the back of a napkin.

"No. Absolutely not." Kimberley deadpanned, crossing her arms across her chest and frowning. She was sitting on a patio chair next to the Mage, with one of her Prinnies holding up a sun parasol over her head.

"Nnnhh… and you people wonder why I don't like bureaucrats!" The Anti-Messiah shrugged, muttering under his breath.

"What's the item world anyway?" Ari, inexperienced in the mechanics of the Netherworld and its myriad of space-time wankery, queried.

"It world. In Item." Yasumi, who was sitting cross-legged on a hammock, hopped up to interject.

"Mhm, it's, like, a random dungeon where you can find tons of loot and goodies and steal them for free! And there's mystery rooms and pirates and treasure chests and geo panels and a bonus gauge you can fill up!" Sally cheered, recalling all she knows about the item world from her previous job. Sadly, she hasn't been able to visit there, since it's the kind of thing you need some friends for. A loner in the item world just looks like a loser really!

"Okay. That sounds fun, I guess…" Ari didn't exactly sound enthusiastic about it but was more than willing to go along with the flow, until Kimberley spoke up.

"Oh no, Ari will be staying here with me. The Item World is far too dangerous for a mere mortal to survive inside." The Archer spoke, authoritatively.

"Awww, but Kimberleeeeeeeey! He's really strong though, plus, I can heal him with my fairy powers! I've been practicing a new healing dance, wanna see?" Robin whined, burrowing underground out from under the basket and popping out of a mole-hole. She began proceeding with her dance anyway.

"I'm sorry Robin, but the decision has been made." Kimberley responded, as she watched Robin shake those fairy cha cha!

"Awww! Pleeeease let them come with us! With all seven of us, we'll blow away anyone in the item world before they can… blueh...bzzzzzzzz!" Sally was interrupted mid-sentence as the effects of Robin's healing dance struck her, causing a plague of live bees to fly out of her mouth.

"I taught that dance! Can use Mage girl as beehive now. Will make fortune from Mage Honey." Yasumi beamed with pride, putting her hands on her hips and grinning.

"Yeah nah. No bugs." The Anti-Messiah chimed in, and in a rare act of 'charity', absolved Sally with an Espoir spell. Well it's not entirely charity, being an out-of-network physician, he'll gleefully slap on the co-pays down the road.

"Gkeh… ack…" Sally spit out a final bee, before glaring over at Robin, mind abruptly changed. "Uhhm, I mean yeah! Robin! You and Ari and Kimberley can, like, hang out together. She'll teach you some fun facts about, like, Tea and such!" The Mage suggested, wanting to keep Robin and her healing 'skills' as far away from her as possible.

"Wow, really! Will you really?" Robin asked, fluttering next to Kimberley, looking at her, all dreamy eyed. Tiny fairy hands clasped in front of her.

"Oh, of course. I have a few Errands to run today, and I can educate you about some Tea related facts as we go!" The Archer clapped, always eager to speak of her true life's passion to anyone who would be willing to hear. Especially since, unlike the flora beast that lives in her backyard, Robin won't take any talk of tea horticulture bizarrely out of context. Hopefully.

"Okay! C'mon Ari, let's go hang out with Miss Kimberley today!" Robin cheered, grabbing her brother's hand and dragging him along, or at least trying to, considering the substantial difference in size.

"Uhh… sure… but how much fun is Tea really?" Ari asked as he floated along with Robin, still skeptical.

"More fun than you think! Let me tell you a tale of all the unfair labor practices my plantations employ…" Kimberley spoke, as she led Ari and Robin away.

"Phew, that's a relief. Those guys were squares anyway. So, the rest of you! Ready to go hit up the Item World?" The Anti-Messiah asked, grinning his trademark dorky grin as he turned to face Sally, Yasumi, Momoko, and Violet.

"Ohohoho, of course! It's been a while since I've done a good item world run. Hopefully I can find some nice boots for hitting the clubs with. Or a sharper spear, this one is starting to lose its edge. Or some more leathers..." Violet had quietly been leaning back against the side of Sally's house, scrolling through the social feed on her diePhone and not paying much attention, waiting for the sketchy healer to get on with it.

"What do you need leathers for?" Sally asked, inquisitively.

"I'll tell you when you're older." Violet replied.

"Got plenty of stealing hands, Gencey's Exits, and treasure chest lockpicks stocked up, nyao. Let's get rolling. Kleptomania, ho!" Momoko added, twirling her water gun around on her finger and making a cat-like grin.

"I brought the snacks! I've got chocolate bars and potato chips and taffy-pops and cookies for days!" Sally exclaimed, presenting a picnic basket full of sweets.

"Did pack human offal like I asked?" Yasumi asked. It'd save her the trouble of having to clean and field dress anyone they find in the Item World.

"Oi, oi! The pickled gallbladder is mine. I got buyers for that! Don't eat my medical waste!" The Anti-Messiah huffed. Ever since he showed up here he has had to contend with Momoko/Sally/Yasumi trying to steal his Money/Candy/Flesh respectively.

"Alright! Well let's get going! It isn't gonna be open forever! Item World won't know what hit it! Disgaea Guild Adventure Squad, on the march!" Sally proclaimed, raising her Prinny Staff like a parade marshal's baton and marching off toward the item world station in town. The inane cavalcade of Cat-burglar, Clergy, Curiass-maiden, and Catastrophic Cannibal following along eagerly.

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BGM: ~Disgaea 2 OST: MAKAI BAND~
watch?v=N_5bgnVd6DU

Downtown, at the Item World Station

"Welcome to the Item World, can we interest you in our two-for-one innocent swap, or a coupon for Mystery Room Mondays?" The village's item world attendant, a Boggart named 'Marsh' spoke, as he floated spookily in the air before the guild. The item world stall was right across the street from the Grocery store and a few shops down from Lori's clinic, having all the basics. A table for placing the item on, a frequently asked questions guide, and health and safety guidelines warning about not entering the item world if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant.

"No, we just wanna go into the item world on an adventure! To get EXP and Items and level up and…" Sally began running her mouth a mile a minute, quivering in excitement at her first item world trip in years, before obligatory bureaucracy caught up to her.

"Excellent. Party of five? Please sign in on the sheet right here. Know that signing automatically waives the item world attendant of all liability in the event of serious injury, death, undeath, exposure to harmful geo effects, status debuffs, or evilities, industrial toxins, natural toxins, pirate attacks, mystery rooms, overleveled enemies, teleportation accidents, pollen, dander, carcinogens, hexes, bullets, blunt force trauma, poisons, charm spells, unpleasant aromas, spontaneous combustion, spontaneous disintegration, bullets, explosions, freezing temperatures, acid, inclement weather, angry space marines, sing-along musical numbers, heavy metal riffs, pancake recipes, fairy-induced madness, psychedelic mushrooms, or vacuum metastability events."

Sally, having worked in the business, knows that spiel by heart, and signs her name down. In her experience, all of those events have happened and had a dark court case associated with them at least once, "Mmmh… mhm… mhm, there! Done! Now bring on the bonuses and loot!"

"Excellent, now please provide an item to enter." The attendant spoke.

And that stopped Sally dead in her tracks. "Oh, uhmm… uhmm… guys?"

"Obviously we should use the knight's breastplate! It's fine. Your stats are high enough, won't even miss it!" The Clergy suggested, only to receive a mild bonk on the top of the head by the blunt end of Violet's spear.

"Nice try, but no." The armor knight glared shifty eyed at the naughty healer.

"Auu!" The Healer cursed himself for taking off that dumb helmet. But hat-hair is a Clergy's worst nightmare! "Okay okay… uhm… sorcerer girl! That skull of yours! Let's use that!"

"NO! Mister Skully is formally bound to my head by executive order of Dolvalky! Cannot be removed. Except when in shower. Will curse you if try to!"

"Okay, uhmm… uhmm… hang on! Lemme find… ooh! Let's use this!" Sally exclaimed, rummaging first through her inventory, then through her picnic basket, to present…

…a Cupcake. A chocolate cupcake with frosting and a cherry on top. "We can level it up to make it extra sugary and yummy!"

The rest of the guild-mates shrugged, but it's not like they had anything better, really. And so, Sally set the delicious sweet down on the item table. "Ehh, fine by me. Gotta start somewhere. But I call dibs on actually eating it." The Anti-Messiah exclaimed.

"We'll see about that one, nyao. First one to Innocent Town gets to eat it!" Momoko winked, flexing her 7MV and 10,000+ SPD by shuffling in place and doing a punchy gesture.

"Excellent. Enjoy your visit to the Item World." The attendant spoke, before raising the sleeves of his jacket into the air, the horn-shaped-thingy on the top of his head glowing, as he conjured an off-green colored portal into the air, letting the guild through.

"Aww yeaaaah! Item world, here we coooooome!" Sally cheered, before charging through with reckless abandon.

"Medical malpractice, ho!" The Anti-Messiah, caught up in Sally's enthusiasm, slithered right on after her.

"Victims! Yes yes, victims… kekeke!" A terrifying grin went over Yasumi's face, as she walked in as well. No Kimberleys around, so she could use as many curses as she likes this time… ooh, she could feel the slick, black, ugly horrors manifesting as she strides through the portal.

"Ahh, don't go in too fast! Or I won't be able to shield you from attacks. Let me be point-woman and I'll dominate anyone who tries to harm you before they even get close! That's standard Item-World room clearing tactics!" Violet promised, as she raised her spear and marched professionally in after the group.

"Hey! Treasure chests are mine to open. Don't get your mitts all over it, nyao!" Momoko hopped in last, as the portal closed behind them. The Attendant barely batted an eye at the cupcake as he took his seat and started reading a haunted house real-estate magazine. It's not like it's the strangest thing he's been asked to send people into, not by a long shot.

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BGM: ~Disgaea 5 OST: Invisible Zoon~
watch?v=pECmsembwiw

Cupcake Item World Stage B1

"…and that, in conclusion, is why I am the Greatest! Ah ha ha ha!" A lone Professor spoke, having set up her lab on a random item world stage in a random Netherworld, giving an on the spot symposium to a few random demons, gesturing to the slideshow playing on the screen right behind her.

"So wait, it cures Diabetes AND Cancer? AND solves the global energy crisis?" A somewhat skeptical slime asked, jiggling around in the peanut gallery as is its custom.

"Of course! This is the culmination of decades of research. Years of verification testing by the Netherworld board of Science! And has finally received clinical approval by the Dark Assembly. Gentlemen, this is the big one! The invention that will change… Everything! Clearly my Genius knows no bounds! Oh hohohoho!" The professor exclaimed.

"Sounds like a good deal, Gii! Where do I sign?" A more easily convinced Eryingi investor asks. It's wearing a top hat and fancy monocle and seems ready to make an investment!

"I feel honored to be a part of this historic moment in Netherworld science history. Now I can finally die happy… oh wait?" A zombie in a bowler hat also comments, as it shambles over to the sign up, ready to cast its lot with this new invention.

Clearly a groundbreaking moment has been achieved in Netherworld History, and the dawn of a new golden age has begun. Surely nothing bad will come along and ruin this glorious moment, right? "Ahh! This is the happiest day of my life. All of that labor! The blood, sweat, and tears of my test subjects! With your grants, I will finally have the funding and power to change the Nether… world… for… ever?!"

The Professor, and all of the members of the audience looked up. Standing atop the blocky ridge of item world blocks overlooking them is a lone silhouette, raising its staff into the air, storm-clouds gathering in the distance. Yasumi stands there, teeth bared, eyes glowing, gazing with a predatory visage down at the symposium. "Dolvalky not want crisis solved. Dolvalky not want cure! Dolvalky want suffering! Misfortune! Bad luck! Now will defund Science with curses! Curses for all! CURSE STOOOOOOORM!"

"N….no! No no no! My work! NOOOOO- ach!" The Professor and her peers panicked, as Yasumi unleashed a wave of blights which spread all across the item world! In an instant, the Professor was afflicted with amnesia, abruptly forgetting why she was here and what all the fuss was about. The Eryingi was paralyzed, the Zombie was poisoned, and the Slime had been granted the 'deprave' debuff, but being a slime, couldn't really express itself. Thankfully. "I have very conflicted feelings right now…" It spoke, totally deadpan.

"Kekeke! Everyone is cursed! Blessings of Dolvalky to thee! NOW! BEGIN THE ATTACK!"

The rest of the adventure squad burst forth from the Base Panel, charging into the item world stage. "Peer review! I'm gonna have to confiscate all of this paperwork. Y'know… for Science!" The Anti-Messiah cackled, as he collected the random Professor's random abstracts and presentation papers. All he needs to do is forge a few signatures and file some patents in his name and boom! That grant money is his!

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the thief here, nyao… Quit moseyin' in on my territory and leave the larceny to the professionals- ooh hang on!" Momoko was on her way over to the healer, eager to get in on this patent fraud action, when out of the corner of her eye she spotted a treasure chest perched on a nearby cliff. Thief instincts were strong, so she began hopping across the various rectangular blocks that made up the landscape to try and get to it.

Sally and Violet then entered the fray. The armored knight leapt forward, driving her spear into the Zombie, piercing right through it. Its HP falling by the second due to the poison. "Hyah! Back to the grave with you!" She spoke, as she stabbed, parried, and stabbed again. The Zombie groaned and grumbled as it tried to make counterattack after counterattack. "Groaaaarhhh… who do you think you are talking like that? Back to the grave with me? That's some kinda prejudice-talk right there! I'm gonna eat your brains for that!"

In retaliation, the Zombie put its hands together, in a postmortem hadouken maneuver, charging up its Hyper Zombeam attack. The searing blast of laser power would completely toast any lesser class, cooking its brain perfectly for consumption. But as the smoke cleared, the shining armor stood firm, completely undamaged.

"Hmmfp! That all you've got? Weak, boy!" Violet responded, before backflipping a few panels away. An impressive feat in a heavy suit of armor. She raised her spear over her head, conjuring a portal beneath the feet of both the Zombie and Eryngi. "Spear Gate!" She called out, as both of the hapless demons were levitated into the air, and then impaled by about a hundred spears bursting upwards from underneath. Both then disappeared into a pink mist, suitably eviscerated.

That left the Slime. "Okay you killed those guys pretty good… wanna go on a date?" It asked, still under the status effect. "No." Violet laconically responded, before twirling her spear like a baton, and driving it with incredible force into the Slime's… face? However, the slime, being made of slime, wasn't really affected that much. It just kind of stuck on the end of the spear like a ball of glue, gumming it up and sticking between the spear and ground, becoming stretched as Violet fruitlessly attempted to free her weapon. "I don't know if I'm supposed to be getting turned on by this or not." The Slime honestly sounded more confused than anything else.

"Gah… I should have known better. Let… go… now!" The Armored knight strained, tugging on the spear to no avail, until a sudden fireball flew in from nearby, incinerating the highly-weak-to-magic slime, causing it to char brown and goo out like a green melted marshmallow.

"Waaaah! Slimes are, like, totally icky!" Sally groaned, sticking her tongue out and making a face of disgust. Didn't smell too good either, the Slime currently giving off the aroma akin to melted plastic.

"Agreed. Thank you for that! It would have taken hours to clean that slime off of my Spea-…" Violet stopped mid-sentence, as her maternal armor knight protection sense kicked in. Danger was afoot!

Over at the Treasure Chest, Momoko had just arrived, jimmying open the lock with her Thief's Key skill. However, it seems she had competition. While her back was turned, a Nekomata, Beast tamer, Rogue, and Catsaber had begun advancing on her. The Rogue was armed with a bow, and the Tamer had a large axe, and had just placed a buff spell on its more monstrous companions. An arrow and a flaming yarn ball both whizzed just inches past Momoko's face, prompting a surprised "Hyah!?" as the thief realized her situation, somersaulting forward over the Treasure Chest and using it for cover as she returned fire with her water gun.

Her first shot struck the Catsaber square in the chest, prompting a displeased 'Nyaaa!' as it doubled over. It didn't want to fight when wet! Its companions were not quite so lazy, and the Nekomata, the greatest threat of the bunch, leapt up into the air, making angry cat noises as it charged up a mighty Cat Blast and prepared to unleash it at the fleeing thief. It fired, and it seemed Momoko would be done for… but a sudden flash of silver intercepted the beam, as Violet charged in to take the shot in her stead, her unyielding armor and powerful DEF deflecting the blow, however the beam knocked her back by a few spaces, forcing her onto her knees. "Guh… these ones are stronger. Shaman! Can you please provide them with some de-buffs?"

"Kekeke! More curses, yes!" Yasumi cackled, as she unleashed another litany of blights upon the Kung-fu Neko. "Curse of cat dander! Will irritate all allergies!"

A small poof of white flakes emerged from the befuddled Nekomata, who… just looked around, confused more than anything. However, her companions, the Rogue and Beast Tamer, both started sneezing uncontrollably, their eyes watering. The Rogue attempted to fire an arrow at Momoko, but due to the eye irritation, it went wide and missed.

It was at this point that Sally, who had been helping the Anti-Messiah fleece the professor, entered the fray. Casting a fireball at her feet, she launched herself up into the air with the clarion call of 'Pokon!', smoke trailing from her feet as she flew down from the sky, aiming to land directly on the Rogue. Now, a Mage doesn't weigh all that much, but Sally had the foresight of planning on using this unorthodox tactic today, so she put a set of Ice Cleats onto her cutie shoes in order to goomba stomp directly onto the enemy's head. The Rogue was put out of the fight then and there, and Sally followed up by smacking the Beast Tamer straight on the noggin with her staff, disorienting her and forcing her to stumble a few steps back.

"Oh? That was… impressive?" Violet blinked a few times. She hadn't seen a Mage do that before… Sally was nothing if not imaginative with her sociopathic shenanigans. And so, the Armor Knight stood up and resumed her attack, still having plenty of HP and Power left to take on the Nekomata. She began lunging forward with her spear, using its superior range to keep the Neko at bay. Momoko joined in the fight, using her tri-burst skill to soak and saturate the catgirl since she knew that'd sap her willpower. The combo bonus began to stack, shaving more and more of its HP away. The Nekomata knew when to fold 'em it seemed, unable to get a solid counterattack in and dangerously low on HP, it began to retreat toward the hyperdimensional gate and head home.

"Another one down, nyao. Sally, you good?" Momoko asked.

"Waaah! I'm losing!" Sally exclaimed. Her impressive dynamic entry having turned against her as the Beast Master was now slashing wildly at her with her axe. The Mage trying to defend herself with her staff, but each swing was taking a chunk of her HP, leaving the mage more and more disheveled and injured. "Guys! Help! I need heals! Where's the dumb healer?!"

Nearby, the dumb healer was taking advantage of the fact that an amnesia debuff leaves the victim vulnerable to suggestion. For three turns. Naturally, this is prime time to take advantage of the situation. "…so if you sign right now, I get all your patents, working prototypes, paperwork, and bank accounts, yeh? And you keep the billing address and taxes in your name! And… mmmh… ooh! Also! You let me play doctor with you. Like, a lot! Sound like a good deal? Mhm, mhm!" The fast-talking clergy babbles, putting on his best 'used car salesman' schtick, trying to scribble up a legally binding Faustian pact on the back of one of the Professor's whitepapers as fast as he can.

"I… uhh… yeah. I guess that sounds... good?" The Professor wasn't entirely sure about all this, but the amnesia debuff clouded her judgement. It's not like she could cast a spell on him anyway like this.

"Mhm, great! Pleasure doin' business with you! Now just sign right here and we'll be all done! Nya ha ha!"

"Sure thing… I…" It is at that moment that the 3 turns ran out, and the effect of the curse abruptly wore off. "Hey wait a minute. Who are you?! What am I signing? My work! You're clearly some kind of shyster! Prepare to die!"

"Hwah…?!" Before the healer could fully respond, the Professor pulled a large metal box with some buttons, handles, and a pair of antennas from her labcoat. A trio of hovering drones then appeared behind her, each one powering itself up with fire, ice, and wind respectively. Her Element Device! Immediately she unleashed it on the hapless healer, simultaneously freezing and cooking him, before blowing him across the map in a flaming blur.

"WAAAAAHHHH OMIGAWSH!" The Anti-Messiah squealed, as he flew ungracefully and painfully forth. Fortunately for Sally, he went flying directly into the Beast Tamer, knocking her clear off of the edge of the item world stage and into the void, only to burst shortly thereafter, with the letters 'O.B.' appearing.

"What the… that's not even the same game, nyao?" Momoko was puzzled at this but decided to just shrug and roll with it. With the enemies cleared out for now, she decided to go back to jimmying open the lock on that chest.

"Waaah. I need heals!" Sally, down to a sliver of HP and crawling helplessly on the ground, pleaded to the toasted clergy.

"Oi, oi! Get in line! Healer has priorities here! I think I broke a nail…" Quite a grievous wound indeed! The Anti-Messiah has no time left in the day to schedule a manicure! He summoned forth a green ball of healing energy from his staff, mending the nail and leaving him feeling quite splendid. "Hah, much better! Relax, I'll get to you guys in a minute. Hold your horses… or your insides or whatever it is you're whining abou- OMIGAWSH!"

The Healer was once again struck with a full blast from the Element Device. Only this time it was not the Professor behind the controls, but Yasumi. Apparently while the Clergy was distracted, she had casually murdered the Professor with a sacrificial dagger to the back and stolen it. "Kekeke!" She cackled, basking in the casual schadenfreude. Unfortunately, the drones behind her then immediately seemed to power down. The controls of the device no longer having any effect and all the lights on it going out. "Oaaaaa… Curse of Dead Battery. Anyone have D-cells?"

"Nah, just 9 volts, nyao." Momoko shrugged, as she rummaged through the now open treasure chest. The contents of which were really just akin to those of a kitchen junk drawer. However, she did find a Worn Bowgun in there. A net upgrade, at least!

"Gah!" Yasumi tossed the Element Device aside. Momoko thought to yoink it on her way out the door.

The Anti-Messiah just grumbled through gritted teeth as he dropped a Mega-Heal on himself and Sally, restoring both to their former glory. Sally did a lil' cheer as she came back to life, but immediately stumbled into a floating UI screen that appeared in front of her, spewing fireworks and sparkles. It was the bonus gauge display panel, which displayed the loot they had earned during their foray.

"Ooh! Ooh! Goodies! Goodies!" She exclaimed, looking over her newfound goods. 'Wooden Bow', 'JiJo outfit', 'Hard Candy', '356 EXP', '455 HL'. An unprecedented windfall of profits for the guild.

"Nice, nice. Entry level stuff, but we're gettin' there. We'll be up to Testaments and Genesis Wands in no time, nyao." Momoko crooned, as she planned on stealing each and every item before Sally could get her hands on it.

"Oh, glorious! If we can find some proper armor and a spear in the next room I'd be delighted." Violet announced. Nothing really useful for an Armor Knight in this haul, but she feels optimistic as she marches toward the dimensional portal to the next stage.

"Yep! Let's go wreck some more faces. On to the next Floor, ladies! There's absolutely no chance of this possibly going horribly wrong through no fault of our own!" The Anti-Messiah chirped, inadvertently jinxing the entire operation…

---

BGM: ~Team Fortress 2 OST: Scrapped Upgrade Station Music~
watch?v=Cvwlcr69FAI

Back in Town, at the local Hellmart

"…and that is why volcanic soils upon which blood has been spilt are by far the best for growing such robust and full-bodied cultivars! The pain and suffering really adds a certain edge to the flavor that more subtle teas lack, making it great for getting oneself going early in the morning or staying energized during the day! Now for a dinner tea, you want something lighter that cleanses the palate to prepare for a meal…"

Ari was losing his mind at this point. Eye squeezed shut, trying to focus on anything but Kimberley's never-ending sermon on Tea. The Archer was pushing a shopping cart through the Produce section of the Netherworld Grocery Store, with Ari floating alongside and Robin sitting in the fold-down child seat. The Fairy was more or less spaced out at this point, just staring at all the plants all around. "Uhmm, miss Kimberley? Why are there so many plants in here? Plants are supposed to grow outside! Wild and free!"

"Oh? Well these plants are food for Demons who value health and wellness. Since Ari is a human, he needs to eat real food sometimes and not just sweets. So we're going to get some healthy snacks and meals for him." Kimberley replied, finally broken out of her Tea Trance for a while.

To Ari this was a merciful blessing. Truly there was a God. "I like candy and sweets though."

"Yes, but if you eat too many your teeth will rot. Overindulgence will also mean that candy is less good since you'll get sick of eating it all the time." She spoke. Ari was quick to call her out on it.

"That doesn't seem like a very demonic thing to say. Don't you overindulge in Tea all the time too?" Ari asks.

"Oh my no. That's different!" Kimberley responds, with all sincerity in her voice.

Ari seemed puzzled. "How is it any different?"

"Because Tea is good for you! It contains a balance of natural antioxidants, no artificial sweeteners, and-" Uh oh, there she goes again. Ari is quick to head her off at the pass this time. "So what kinds of food do I have to eat?"

"Oh, mmh… well I suppose for a human, a balanced diet consists of a foundation of bread and grains, a smaller amount of fruit and vegetables, a smaller still amount of milk and dairy, and a sparing amount of sugars and fats. At least that's what the local nutritionist recommends. You see, the Netherworld's knowledge of human dietary requirements comes from the ancient Food Pyramid discovered in Egypt, built by the pharaoh Foodankhamun in the 6th century B.C." Kimberley spoke. At least it isn't more tea trivia this time. "So I think for tonight, I'll have the Prinnies make a healthy vegetable stir fry."

"W..wait? You're going to cut Mr. Carrot and Mrs. Celery stick up!?" Robin was shocked and horrified, as she held a carrot in one hand and a celery stick in the other, playing with them like dolls. In the Netherworld, it is considered good and proper table manners to play with your food, after all.

"Vegetables are gross. I want some of those." Ari spoke, walking over to the Freezer section, pointing at a display of Hotpods. The pepperoni and cheese kind. Most unhealthy!

"Mmmh… well… those have a lot of trans fats and calories, but… I suppose a few quick-to-make meals won't hurt. Just try not to over… do it…" Kimberley sighed, as Ari began collecting a dozen boxes of Hotpods, a container of Fish Styx (made of Sea Dragon), Pizza Shurikens, Burger Bombs, Fried Prinny Drumsticks, Stuffed Eryngi Bites, and Green-Bean Fries.

The Archer just shrugged. This would have to do. She'll have to find a way to get him to eat healthier later. With the Frozen section well and truly cleaned out, Kimberley proceeds to her favorite aisle, the Tea aisle.

Dozens of Tea Containers lined the walls, with rare brands and blends just waiting for purchase. Each and every box with her own face and brand name on it. 'Kimberley's Acres Tea Co.' "Oh no…" Thought Ari, as he watched her browse away.

"Why do all of the boxes have your face on them, miss Kimberley? Isn't it kind of weird?" Robin asked, blinking.

"Oh, they all have them since I've spent decades monopolizing the industry and wiping out any competition. You get used to it after a while. It is a measure of business success!" She spoke, as she put a few small boxes of Tea into her cart.

"Ooh, can I have my face on one?" Robin asked, fluttering up excitedly.

"Mmmh… perhaps! How does 'Robin's special aromatic blend?' sound? A taste with the boundless whimsy and airy flavor of a fairy. We can start taste-testing some loose leaf brews when we get home, and mixing them for optimal mouthfeel." Kimberley clapped once, delighted at the prospect.

Ari could care less, and while Kimberley was distracted talking about tea, he floated over into the snack aisle, grabbed every bag of chips, candy, and pretzels he could find, and dumped them all back in the cart. "I'm done shopping."

"Okay then. Let's head home and prepare our Tea Experiment!" Kimberley agreed, and pushed the cart out to the Checkout stand. This being The Netherworld, where pain and suffering are the order of the day, it was standard policy at all groceries stores there were ten checkout lanes but only one open at any one time. And it was the 15 items or less aisle. Sighing, Kimberley figured she'd have to make do. Walking up to the cashier to question him.

"Please tell me, you have only one aisle open, but I believe we have… ehh…" She glanced at the cart piled high with junk food Ari had provided. "…more than 15 items. Furthermore, I have coupons for those Hotpods. I would like to redeem them and put the points on my rewards card- …oh…" Kimberley shrugged.

The still-petrified statue of the store clerk did not respond.

The Archer sighed. "Please stay with the cart, Ari. I will need to go find a Supervisor to sort this out." And with that, Kimberley strode away toward the back of the store. While she was gone, Robin dove headfirst into her purse to explore, leaving Ari hovering there. Unattended.

And then, he noticed something appealing… outside the front windows of the store. Past the '50% off all healing items' poster, and across the street, was… a cupcake. A single cupcake. Sitting prominently on a table. With no one around to guard it.

Ari exited the store and floated directly over to the cake. Eying it. It looked quite sweet and sugary and delicious. Like something the Mage would eat. The boy looked left, then looked right, then stared right back at the cupcake. With intent…

---

BGM: ~Soul Nomad OST: Speed Queen~
watch?v=TKsWTPSlBCE

Cupcake Item World Stage B10

Boss fight! The Adventure Squad had fought their way nonstop through the intervening 8 stages. Between bonus gauges and mystery rooms, a healthy hoard of items and goodies weighed down their bindles. Now, one last barrier remained. If they wanted to escape with their loot and reach Innocent Town, they had to defeat this last challenge!

Standing atop the roughly pyramid-shaped item world stage was the Item General, a lone Baciel. He commanded a small troupe of minions to attack the guild, who were rushing to ascend the hill and defeat the boss to clear the stage. "Go my minions! Crush these interlopers! A hundred hellmarks to any who brings me their heads!" The mighty demon bellowed. Down below, his minions were one by one filing in toward the Adventure Squad.

Momoko was dual-wielding her new pistols, making a slow-mo John-woo style leap to the side, blazing away at a Zombie and Mothman that were approaching. Both of whom were riddled with darts and ice shards, before expiring in a cloud of purple mist. "Left Flank's secure, nyao. Let's push up this way!"

"Oi, oi! Runnin' outta SP here! Stop gettin' smacked up for a while!" The Anti-Messiah announced, as he attempted to beat down a Petite Orc that had just leapt down from a tier above with his staff. Fortunately, due to his native 'Staff Rebellion' evility, (and the fact that he had drilled the end of his staff out and filled it with lead pellets like any sensible medical professional would), a Clergy's staff whacks hurt really, really bad. The Orc just had time to mewl out a pained 'Oink!' before expiring.

"Quick! Yasumi! Hit the boss with, like, a super duper horrible curse!" Sally commanded, pointing her own staff up the hill at the monster.

"Ack! Boss is Boss! Immune to Curse! Have to kill with non-curse type weapon!" The Shaman was no doubt disappointed, but had more immediate problems, as she was currently forcibly extracting the stuffing out of a Killer Puppet with her stabby dagger.

Then, a Cockatrice flapped into the fray, making a loud 'CAW' sound as it landed on the square between Yasumi and Sally, attempting to vigorously peck at the latter.

"H…hey! Big Chicken! Ow ow ow! I'm gonna, like, Kentucky fry you!" She exclaimed, as the bird monster began to mess her hair up. The Mage attempted to retaliate with an extra special fireball, but her staff simply made an out-of-ammo 'click' noise.

"Gah! Chicken monster has bad evility! Cannot use special attack!" Yasumi groaned, now having to parry both the puppet and the thrashing snake-tail of the Cockatrice.

"Aaaah ha ha ha! Call me Queen!" Violet laughed with sadistic glee, as she planted her metal sabaton into the chest of a random Onmyo monk. How exhilarating! However, she then noticed her teammates' trouble. In a flash of silver armor, she turned and dashed toward the threat. Holding the range to stay out of the Cockatrice's evility range, she unleashed her dreaded Impaler Drop technique. The fiery lunge caused the Chicken-like creature to burst into a shower of feathers, and switched Violet's position with it. "Worry not, I have you covered! Now, over the top, ladies! Let's take this boss down and claim our justly earned rewards!"

The Rifle Demon commanding the item world stage gritted its fangs and growled as his minions were getting completely thrashed by the collection of circus rejects that had invaded his domain. "Come on you slugs! Beat them down! Defeat them! Why you… incompetent CURS! Fine… I suppose I'll have to take care of this Myself!" And so, the Rifle Demon leapt from his perch, hovering in mid air and charging his arm cannon up. A massive aura of power seethed into the device, leveling it at the center of the Adventure Squad's formation, and in a massive surge of energy, he fired!

A single foam dart tipped with a plastic sucker cup flew out and stuck to the front of Violet's armor. "…the HL was that?"

"…Dammit!" The Rifle Demon swore. Still waiting on his insurance agent to sort things out apparently.

"Wow. Looks like you got a medical conundrum right there. Tell ya what, I'm a Doctor! Let's see what I can do to fix that. Oi! Crazy Shaman girl! Launch me!" The Anti-Messiah commanded, preparing to go practice medicine on this fool.

"Oaaa!" Yasumi complied, picking the Anti-messiah up and holding him over her head in preparation for a toss. Though curiosity got the better of her, with that skirt opening precariously perched over her skull hat, she looked up and… Well, some things cannot be unseen. "GRAH!" She tossed that Clergy up the hill like a hot potato, sending him flying directly at the Baciel. The high-velocity healer brought his staff down on the monster's head and smashed it right in the third eye.

"AAAAHHHH! YOU FOOL!" The Baciel used its hand hand to cover its wounded eye, and fire back wildly with its nerf gun blaster hand at the Clergy. Momoko meanwhile was attempting to lift Violet up and toss her into the fray as well. Operative word being 'attempting'. Heavy knight being a Heavy knight after all. "NNnh…. Ghh…weighs…a…ton…nyao…." Eventually the pint-sized thief found juuuust enough strength to deliver a mighty toss, sending the armored knight to land right next to the stumbling demon. In a fluid motion, the knight swung her spear down into the Bachiel's legs, tripping it and causing the beast to fall flat on its back.

The Baciel, now immobilized, could only look up at the sky with its two good eyes, at the manifesting mass of meteors from the Mage's mega fire malady that were about to drop on top of it. "Oh… SON OF A-"

BOOM! The Baciel was completely toasted by Sally's attack. The Mage being far too cool to look at explosions, so she just did that little pointy cheer thing she does while facing away, backlit by the fireball. "Aww yeaaaah! STAGE CLEEEEAAAAAAR!"

"Oaaa! Good job at murdering monster. Now, lets finish job. Kill remaining monsters! Boost bonus gauge! Boon of many items!" Yasumi cheered, waving her staff around and dancing manically.

"Heh, good thinking, nyao. Let's set up a Geo Chain and blow this place up before we leave. Sally, get the red block." Momoko, ever the expert on geo panel abuse, commands.

"Sugoi!" The mage saluted and headed over to pick up the aforementioned panel.

"Yasumi. Go get the yellow one. If we put them on the green panels we can get them all in one shot…" Momoko continued to direct the affair, but failed to notice the long, menacing shadow extending over herself.

"Momoko! Watch out!" Violet yelled! The Baciel was alive, and this time, he meant business. Apparently he had landed on a 'Reverse Damage' geo panel, and Sally's Mega Fire spell had not only put him back to full health, but all of the foam darts had ejected from his gun, replaced by super capacitors and his third eye with a state of the art targeting computer.

"FOOLS! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD DEFEAT ME?! PREPARE YOURSELVES, FOR I SHALL WITHER YOU UNTO THE PAIN AND TORMENT OF A THOUSAND SUNS!" Its voice boomed, as it powered up its arm cannon, leveling it at the clustered up guild-members. Sally couldn't respond, as she had her hands full with the geo panel. Yasumi was out of range. Violet tried to charge in as fast as possible, but was preempted by… a healing spell?

A sudden mist of mending and good tidings spilled upon the Baciel, as the Anti-Messiah rose in an angel-like gesture, arms spread out, spreading his bounty of healing health across the Item Boss. A heavenly choir singing in the background!

"H…hey! He's the bad guy! Don't heal HIM!" Sally huffed, scolding her healer for providing aid and comfort to the enemy!

"HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! EVEN YOUR OWN PATHETIC HEALER CAN SEE MY GLORIOUS SUPERIORITY!" The Baciel boomed, as feelings of energy and a general sense of wellbeing flowed through it.

"Wait for iiiiit…" The Anti-Messiah smirked

"MY POWER IS INCREASED TEN FOLD! Now, PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR ANNIHILATION! I AM FIRING MY LASER! SHOOP-DA-WHOO-" *poof*

The Baciel disappeared in a puff of pink mist, mid meme. "Reverse damage panel. Gets 'em every time." The Anti-Messiah pointed out, cackling evilly.

"Oooh, wow! Hey, you're standing on one too!" Sally exclaimed, as she set her geo panel down and approached the Clergy.

"Yep. That's good tactical sense. Gotta use the terrain advantage where it gives it to you! Not like there's any enemy healers arou-" *bonk* "OW!" Sally bopped him on the head with her staff. "Hey that… hurts… kinda…"

"Kekeke. Let's heal him some more!" Yasumi grinned evilly as she approached the clergy as well. Immediately malicing the HP back into him by whacking him upside the head with her bone staff. Her and Sally taking turns smacking him. "OW! No! Stop! Wait! OWOWOWOWOWOW! That feels… uhh… kinda therapeutic actually OW IT STILL HURTS AT FIRST THOUGH STOP IT!"

"Pfffff… you three are just havin' too much fun there, nyao." Momoko snarked at the trio's sociopathic antics, as she continued to shuffle Geo blocks around. As she did, a long, ominous shadow, far larger than the one the Baciel had cast, began to overtake the item world stage. "Alright, that's enough slapstick for now, you three. Let's finish off the bonus gauge, go to innocent town, and collect… our…. reward…"

It is at this moment that Sally and Yasumi abruptly stopped, all turning to look up into the sky. They had bigger problems. Much, much bigger problems. Ari-sized problems.

Ari was up in the sky.

Ari was very big.

Ari was picking up the cupcake and opening his mouth.

"Oh… ohno…" The Anti-Messiah lost all color in his face as he gazed up at the impending doom before them.

"Ari, no! Ari! NO!" Sally spoke, scolding like a cat that was about to knock over a glass of water, as if the human could actually hear them.

BGM: ~Donkey Kong 64: Demon Resident Mine Cart~
watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=-G9ChcF8qcc

The entirety of the guild, justifiably, began to flip flippedy flip the freak out as Ari slooooowly drew the cake containing their item world into his mouth.

"OMIGAWSHOMIGAWSHDOSOMETHINGDOSOMETHING!" The Anti-Messiah started flailing his arms around.

"YOUR PHONE! VIOLET! CALL KIMBERLEY ON YOUR PHONE!" Momoko exclaimed.

"I'M TRYING! I ONLY HAVE TWO BARS IN THE ITEM WORLD!" Violet responded, frantically scrolling through her contacts to get to Kimberley's number.

"OAAAAAHHHHH! BIG CURSE! BIG CUUUUURSE!" Yasumi ran around in circles, flailing her arms about.

"WE'RE, LIKE, TOTALLY GONNA DIIIEEEEE!" Sally joined her in running around in circles.

"THIEF! GENCY! EXIT! NOW NOW NOW!" The Anti-Messiah ran over to Momoko, shaking her around by her shoulders.

"STOP IT, DUMMY! I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!" Momoko replied, fumbling around to get a Gencey packet and her water gun together, but the Anti-Messiah's frantic shaking caused her to drop both. But by then, it was too late. The gaping black hole of that maw was enclosing them. Teeth the size of continents closing down around the item world. As the sky began to crack and sputter, and the foundation of the world shook! "AIEEEEEEE!"

"I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD END LIKE THIS! I, LIKE, TOTALLY LOVE YOU!" Sally confessed to whoever she happened to be holding onto at the time.

"ECH! CURSE OF UNREQUITTED YURI! DOLVALKY REALLY PULLING ALL STOPS OUT FOR THIS ONE!" Yasumi didn't quite know how to feel about that confession…

"IF WE GET OUT OF THIS, I'M SO GONNA ROB YOU BLIND YOU SON OF A B-"

---

Ari took two small, dainty bites, gobbling the entirety of the cupcake in a flash, leaving just an empty wrapper and a smidge of frosting on his cheek. He briefly thought he could hear a bunch of tiny voices crying out in terror, before being suddenly silenced. He figured it was probably just Robin chirping at him though, as she fluttered out of the store to see what he was up to. "H…hey! Was that a cupcake? You didn't even ask if I wanted any! Hmmfp!" Robin made a tiny, teeny, fairy-sized pout.

"Here. You can lick the wrapper." He spoke, offering the pleated piece of paper with a few chocolate cake crumbs in it.

"Please don't share wrappers like that. It's unhygienic." Kimberley spoke, pushing the cart full of groceries out of the store and over to her car. "Come help me put these away. Then we can get home. It's about time for afternoon tea. Then we can watch TV, I suppose."

"I wanna watch the Prism Rangers." Ari spoke.

"I wanna watch a nature show!" Robin chirped excitedly!

"Ahh… well… after the afternoon news. I need to see if RosenQueen's stocks have split two for one yet. I'll set my DVR for a show for each of you. Now come on, let's go home." Kimberley spoke, leading the trio away.

As they left, the Boggart manning the item world station returned from the little ghost's room, only to find an empty plate sitting where a cupcake was supposed to be. Oh boy… well… that's a professional mishap! The ghost just shrugs. You win some, you lose some. It's not the end of the freaking world after all!

---

BGM: ~Super Mario Galaxy: Speedy Comet in Orbit~
/sjZAoCFnpWU

Inside the end of the freaking world, after all.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The squad yelled out in unison, as they were unceremoniously flushed through a vortex. Ari's eating of the cupcake had caused a dimension break. The item world was shattered and reduced to a swirling tornado of energy and hyperdimensional nonsense. Broken pieces of the item world platform, geo panels, amazombie boxes, treasure chests, random props, and of course, the adventure squaddies were all being flung around this way and that in a clumsy and undignified manner.

"WAAAAHGONNADIEGONNADIEGONNADIEGONNADIE!" The Anti-Messiah flailed, before being smacked directly in the face by an errant level fish with a loud wet *slap* noise. -10 Dignity points. "Oof!"

"Curse of dimension break! Dolvalky angry! Endless portal of doom comes now! Quick! Find dagger! Sacrifice one of guild to get outta here!" Yasumi pleaded, attempting to find where her dagger went in this maelstrom. As luck would have it, the blade comes whizzing through the vortex, the tip sticking right into the top of Yasumi's skull hat. "Yes! Found dagger! Now someone present heart quickly!"

"Calm down Yasumi! Murder isn't gonna get us outta this one- WOAH!" Momoko barely dodged a high-velocity item symbol as it whizzed past, before exploding off in the distance. "Find where the Gencey Exit went!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying! How will we find anything in this maelstrom?!" Violet yelled out, still adopting a fighting stance in the chaos. She lost her spear, so she's reduced to good old fisticuffs. She punches a crate that came flying at her into splinters, and kicked a boulder into gravel.

"Hey there it is!" Sally pointed at a tiny red colored packet containing the Gencey exit and attempted to plot an intercept course. She held her staff out, casting a fire spell that acted like a rocket, launching her toward it. She reached out with her tiny dainty mage hand to grab the packet, but had to abort as a large chunk of what used to be Innocent Town came careening through, spalling and splitting apart as it did.

The guild-members had to dodge and weave in mid air to avoid being impaled by the splintering wooden platform or dashed to bits on the random chunks that were being tossed about.

"We gotta find that Gencey or else we're gonna die! This place is like a food processor, nyao! We're gonna be the Disgaea Guild Adventure Smoothie if we don't hurry it up!" Momoko called out.

"See packet! Up there! Curse of short arms! Can't reach!" Yasumi attempted to grab at the packet that was whizzing around just over her head, all while trying to hold her skull-hat on her noggin. Her fingers almost grasped the packet, but it bounced off and went flying away.

"I got it I got it I… -omm!" The Anti-Messiah caught the packet in his mouth like a dog catching a treat. Frantically, he fumbled and tried to rip the stubborn packaging open. "Oi! Oi! Where's that water gun!"

"I lost it! It's gone!" Momoko yelled out.

"Gah… okay okay fine.. just…" The Clergy made a loud snorting noise, hacking up the biggest loogie he possibly could and spitting into the packet. The least hygienic Mr. Gencey's exit ever appeared, the giant red door whirling around in mid air. "Okay Okay, I got it! Everything is fine! Everyone float yourselves over here and get in siiiiwoaaaawaahhhhhaaaaa!" The Anti-messiah spoke, as he grabbed the door-knob, before being spun around like a helicopter blade due to the change in center of mass. He had to hold on for dear life.

The rest of the guild started variously swimming, flailing, or clamoring towards the door, effectively in zero gravity. Violet at least, drifted to a nearby piece of terrain, which she was able to push herself off of, plotting a course to the exit. As she passed by Yasumi, she grabbed the shaman under one arm, and grasped Momoko as she flew by. Her aim was true. She flew directly toward the door, which was spinning like a tilt-a-whirl with the healer hanging off. That high-velocity Clergy keister unfortunately struck Violet's armor, knocking her backwards, causing the trio to drift toward the edge of the vortex and certain doom.

"Sally! Your magic! Use it! Come catch us!" She called out. Even her armor wouldn't last long against the space-time kerfluffing whirling on the edges.

"I'm, like, out of SP!" She exclaimed, waving her staff around impotently as she spun in the air. She was slowly but surely starting to get motion sickness as well. Even a hyperactive Mage can only handle so much spinning. "Guh… so much swirly whirly. Awwaaahh… my tummy doesn't feel so good… nnnh…" Sally clutched her midsection, doing her best to keep her meal of all sweets down before the inevitable. As it turns out, however, when a Mage feels queasy, instead of vomit, they tend to expel a river of fire out of their mouths. This is fortunate, as the fire-breathing Mage is propelled backwards, toward the rest of the guild!

"Aaaahhhh… gotcha!" Momoko grabbed Sally's dress as she flew past, dragging herself, and by extension Violet and Yasumi to the door. The quartet collided with the Clergy, causing the whole kit and caboodle to go flying into the open exit, just as the dimension begins to decay completely…

---

BGM: ~Phantom Brave OST: Dark Trick~
watch?v=Fw-NDwM5odo

On a spooky, foggy moor, in an unknown Netherworld…

The Gencey exit poofed into being in the middle of a grassy field in the middle of the night, disgorging the frazzled adventure-squaddies and an assortment of item world debris all over the area. A series of muffled thumps and grunts radiated out into the air as the guild flopped to the ground in an undignified manner.

"Oooohoooooowwww…" the Anti-Messiah groaned, before letting out even more of a big "OOF!" as Violet landed atop him.

"Awaaaah… that Suuuuucked. I wanna go home and go to bed…." Sally whined, dizzy, nauseous, and aching all over. She hiccupped up just a tiny last bit of flame, setting a small patch of nearby grass aflame.

"Walk it off, nyao. Nnnh…" Momoko rubbed her arm, as she stumbled to her feet. Though she then put a paw-gloved hand over her right arm, also aching from the tenderization received during the fracas.

"Oaaah… Curse of very dizzy… what dimension we in?" Yasumi, who was sprawled out on her back, asked, as she stared up a the nighttime sky. A full moon hung above passing streaks of cloud. Off on the horizon, distant thunder and flashes of lightning were heard. The terrain around them was a flat, grassy plain, with a few rolling hills here and there, and scattered, leafless trees.

"Nnnnh… hang on hang on…" The Anti-Messiah groaned, feeling around the pile of debris for his staff, finding nothing but a length of PVC drain pipe. Ehh… good enough for now. He used it to cast an area healing spell, bringing his guild-mates back up to close to full power. They had all lost their weapons and most of their equipment in the chaos of the disaster. Yasumi at least was taking the initiative and started to fashion a prison shiv from some bits of wood lying around.

"Woah woah woah waiddaminute! The loot? DID ANYONE GRAB THE LOOT?!" The healer exclaims, as his thoughts shifted from 'ow my face' to 'did I just go through ten floors of that nonsense for nothing?!'

"Oh shi- shi- shi- the loooot, nyao! We lost, like, everything!" Momoko realized, frantically digging through the debris to find any bits or pieces of their haul. Nope, nothing but bits of wood, insulation, and gravel. "UUUUUUUGH! WE GOT BAMBOOZLED!"

"While I understand how frustrating it is, I think we have bigger problems." Violet pointed out, gesturing to the barren landscape around them. "I… don't know where we are. I've never seen a Netherworld like this one before. And my phone…"

"Lemme guess. You lost it…" The Anti-Messiah groaned.

"Actually, I managed to find it again."

"…but you smashed it, didn't you?"

"I have an indestructible Hyperdimension Urania phone cover for that."

"…you have no bars?"

"I'm not sure. You see, the problem is… the batteries have gone dead. I forgot to close my MaceBook app you see, and it drained all the power." Violet nodded.

"Oaaaaa! Big Curse!" Yasumi cheered. The Anti-Messiah opened his mouth to speak, but then just shrugged. He can't even snark about that one cuz we've all been there. "I mean… yeah. That'll getcha. Sorry 'bout that."

"Mmmh… ooh! Ooh! Maybe we could go plug it in and charge it up… over there." Sally pointed off to a dark shape in the distance, lit by just a few small lights in the windows. As the distant lightning flashed and the moon peeked from beyond the clouds, the silhouette of a stereotypically creepy gray gothic mansion was revealed. It was a big house, a castle almost, its size putting even Kimberley's abode to shame. Clearly the home of a powerful Demon Lord, perhaps even an Overlord…

"Oh yeah. I've seen this movie before. Haunted house. Prolly fulla Vampires or somethin'. Creepy Igor butler guy. They feed you food but it's really just chopped up people. Someone's playin' to all the tropes this time. The works. Classy! I like it. Let's go!" The genre-savvy clergy points out.

"Oooh, Vampires are old money, nyao. Seriously old money. I say we plunder the joint. It'll at least make up for losing all that item world loot. Better whittle a stake for 'em, Yasu!" Momoko suggests.

"Kekeke! Yes. People for dinner. That good sensible Netherworld hospitality. Liking place already." Yasumi agreed, marching toward the spooky structure. Sally followed along at her own adorable pace.

"Well… it's obviously a trap, but I suppose we don't have any other options. As long as they don't ask us to stay the night." Violet adds, wise to this sort of trickery.

And so the guild approached the house. A high wall topped with stylized carrot-shaped iron spikes, and a rusty old gate with a skull motif (with rabbit ears) surrounded the abode. No sign of any guards or movement was seen. The whole place looked long abandoned and spooky. Which was basically what every house in the Netherworld looked like, so nobody raised so much as an eyebrow. The guild entered the outer perimeter easily, before coming to the ancient, creaky, heavily built wooden door with iron fittings.

Sally strode over to the big oversized door knob, standing waaaay up on her tippy toes to try to grab and jiggle it, but alas, it was unyielding and impossible to turn. "Waaah! It's like, totally locked!"

"No duh. They don't want psychos like you breaking in." The Anti-Messiah snarked.

"Awwahh~ Who wouldn't wanna invite a face this cute in?" The Mage tried to put on her most charming and heart-meltingly adorable face, fluttering her eyes all twinkly like.

"People who know better. Here, let the pro handle it. *ahem* MR. MESSIAH'S GARDENING SERVICE! WE HAVE A DOOR TO DOOR SPECIAL, LIMITED TIME OFFER!" The clergy called out, as he pulled a packet of sunflower seeds from his pocket, tossing a handful into his mouth, then stuffing a few more into the keyhole of the door. He then stood back, raised his staff, and cast a Giga heal spell right at the door lock. In a sudden burst of green, a giant sunflower grew explosively out of the keyhole with such force that the door lock was smashed. The healer then pushed right on in, followed by the rest of the guild. "Used to work as a gardener back in the day. Temp job. It gets ya into places. You'd probably like it. Didja know, some plants reproduce when exposed to fire?"

"Yes. We know that, nyao." Momoko cringed, recalling quite a bit of previous awkwardness.

---

BGM: ~Disgaea 2 OST: 聖なる館~
watch?v=UZbjrdPiRQ4

Within the mansion's throne room

A few candles were all that lit the dim, hazy chamber, deep within the great manor. Tall imposing gothic style windows of stained glass flanked the room, draped with red and black curtains and tapestries, all depicting scenes of its owner's conquests and victories. In the back of the room, on a raised dais, a tall throne sat for the master of the house. A red carpet sat on the floor, suits of armor lined the walls, as did a few bookshelves and other fine furnishings.

In contrast to the medieval trappings of the rest of the room, a gigantic high-definition TV screen hung from a retractable mount in the ceiling, upon which its owner was playing Resident Undead 5 apparently. The controller was held in a pair of rabbit-like paws, with fur black as night. A pair of ears which looked like a cross between those of a Pookah and a pair of bat wings. A resplendent suit of eastern-style armor girdled the no doubt soft and plushy midsection of the fearsome being. For this was no mere bunny, but an Overlord of this realm.

"Lord Murasaki!" A voice called out, as a lone rabbit demon rushed into the room. The bunny vassal bowed before his lord at the foot of the throne. "Overlord Murasaki, intruders have breached the mansion. They're entering the main foyer as we speak!"

"Yes well… send the guards to escort them out. I'm busy. This is the Tanuki City level. It's a pain in the tail to grind through." The Overlord seemed dismissive, as he barely made a glance at the minion, focusing on his game, until a brief wrong move sent him right back to the 'GAME OVER' screen. "…nnnh, dammit."

"Yes well… the Intruders are all young maidens by the look of it." The Vassal said, knowing that'd get his lords attention. It worked.

"Ahh? Girls you say?" A mischievous twinkle went into the Rabbit Overlord's eye.

"Yes Lord. Magical girls." The bunny sergeant responded.

"My my, what an unexpectedly thrilling development! I thought this night would be another bore. Put the intruders on screen, now!" Lord Murasaki, a casanova rabbit with a thing for magical girls, commanded.

The game minimized on the screen, which instead displayed security camera footage of the Adventure Squad, which was currently in the process of stealing everything they could lay their grubby hands on out in the main hall of the mansion. Murasaki rubbed his chin as he watched. "Hmm… little bit scrawny looking for my tastes, but, with time… the one in the metal Armor is nice… and the one in the pigtails will make an excellent barmaid. Yes, yes! I think this will do splendidly!"

"Shall I prepare the guards then?" The vassal asked.

"Absolutely! Stop at nothing to capture them! And have my bedchambers prepared as well! It is rare for such beauties to fall straight into my lap like this! We must seize the moment!" The bunny lord commanded, standing up dramatically in his chair and pointing to the door.

"Go now! With haste!"

He had no idea what he was in for.

---

Back in the main foyer

"Who the Heck can we even sell these vases to? Check behind the paintings, see if there's any safes with money or crown jewels or something." The Anti-Messiah, rather disappointed at the expensive but useless and impractical-to-pawn-off ceramics commanded.

"Hey, sometimes you just gotta take what you can get, nyao. These will look pretty good with the other ones in my collection." Momoko replied, clearly intending to steal for the sake of stealing.

"Mhm, yeah. Sure. But we need stuff we can fence. Whole point of bein' here is to make some HL outta the deal." The Clergy pouted, looking for something he could use to start tearing into the drywall and see if this place had copper plumbing. He'll just pay Eddie a visit later. He always pays well...

"Thought point of being here was charge up phone and call Kimberley to get us home?" Yasumi asked, from her perch up on top of the fireplace, as she tried to saw the antlers off of a deer trophy, intending to glue them to her skull hat to make it look more fearsome. The rest of the décor was too Victorian for her tastes. She preferred something more rustic and homier that'd go well with her shrunken head collection.

"Ahh, yes… well, one problem with that." Victoria spoke, rubbing the back of her head and smiling awkwardly.

"Let me guess, you forgot your phone charger at home?" Momoko asked, frowning audibly.

"No, I have it with me! It's just…" She held the plug of her charger up. "…it is a three prong, and this house only has two prong outlets."

"Three prong…" The Anti-Messiah just sighed. "…who the HL needs a ground on a cell phone charger, jeez? Alright… start looking for plug adapters. There's gotta be some around here. Crummy polarized outlets…"

It was at that moment that the doors up atop the grand staircases that flanked the room opened. Light shone out from them. A troupe of rabbit guards exited, all armed with their trademark swords, and began taking up position. These were hardcore rabbits. The toughest mercs that Toto Bunny had to offer. Their leader, easily identified by being brown furred instead of gray, leapt from the top of the staircase, and hopped down to stand before the guild.

"Halt! Intruders! You are trespassing in the home of the great Overlord Murasaki Ageese! As his vassals, it is our duty to take you into custody so that you may be presented before our lord and subject to his judgement. Please come quietly and you will come to no har-"

"BUNNY!" Sally squealed, launching over at the Rabbit commander and binding him in an intense, gleeful, bone-crushingly adorable hug. One needs to be careful when presenting small cute animals before a Mage after all. "Waaaah! So soft and fuzzy! It's like a stuffed animal come to life! I wanna, like, take you home with me and snuggle you forever!"

"What the… RELEASE ME THIS INSTANT, CHARLATAN! HOW DARE YOU!" The bunny yelled, squirming and thrashing, before biting the Mage on the arm.

"HEY! OW! It bit me! The cute rabbit bit me!" Sally released him and hopped backwards, preparing to punish the lapine by conjuring a fireball in her hands. "BAD rabbit! Biting is not allowed! Prepare to diiiieee!"

"Murasaki Ageese? Never heard of 'em. Anyway, we just need to plug in our phone so we can get a ride home. And, y'know. Steal everything that isn't nailed down. Nothin' you guys need to worry abou- woah what's your problem?" The Anti-Messiah spoke, but then noticed Yasumi. The Shaman's eye twitching, her body language looking like that of barely contained rage instead of the polite and casual psychopathy that he expected from her.

"Rabbit... Rabbit." She spoke, her voice dripping with malice… well, slightly more malice than usual. Why wouldn't she, when she was surrounded by rabbits? The paragons of good luck! The avatars of peace and well being to all mankind. It was at that moment the Shaman snapped. "GRAAAAAAH! LUCKY RABBIT! The ultimate APOSTATES and INFIDELS of Dolvalky! Spreading GOOD LUCK TO MORTALS! In name of god of misfortune, will CUT FEET OFF OF ALL RABBITS! SKIN THEM ALIVE! MAKE THEM INTO FUR COAT!"

"Woah woah woah! Calm down there, nyao!" Momoko took a few steps away from the berserk Shaman, who immediately leapt up to pull a decorative poleaxe off a wall ornament display, fully intending to use it to gut each and every bunny present.

"Enough of this! Guards! Subdue and capture these intruders so they may be presented before Lord Murasaki!" The Rabbit officer commanded. A dozen of his troops leapt down from the stairs on either side, flanking the guild, swords drawn, ready for battle!

BGM: ~Disgaea 1 OST: Portrait of the Underworld~
watch?v=CV-oUqmuCWs

"Okay okay fine. You fuzzbags wanna play it that way, fine." The Anti-Messiah grabbed a nearby chair and smashed it against the wall, taking one of the broken legs and using it as a staff. "You goons got no idea who you're messin' with here!"

"Yeah! We're gonna, like, toast you and beat you up and make you cry and then say we're sorry and then snuggle and make up UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE!" Sally squealed out, in her shrill angry squeaky Mage voice. She then reached a hand over to a nearby candlestick, bringing the flame to her mouth, and using it to light her breath on fire, projecting it directly at a trio of rabbits that was advancing toward her. The ones on the left and right dove to either side, but the one in the middle was too slow, taking full blast of the attack, instantly being taken out of the battle!

Another trio of rabbits was heading toward the Anti-Messiah, dodging and weaving all around him with their superior reflexes, and slashing and jabbing at him with their vaguely carrot-shaped swords. The blunt blades didn't do a whole lot of damage, but it was far more than the Clergy could counter. "Oi! Oi! Crazy Shaman girl! Hit these furballs with Paralysis or something! Ow!" He took a smack right over the head with the flat of one of the Rabbit's blades.

"Curse not work on Rabbit! Too lucky! Need find other way to kill!" Yasumi yelled out. With all of her debuffs useless in this situation, her only real recourse was to lunge and slash with the poleaxe, maintaining the distance. The whole engagement was frustrating for the Shaman, as despite her bloodlust, the Rabbits were quick on their feet and easily able to evade her attacks.

"Okay okay fine. Have some a… THIS!" The healer managed to grab the nearest Rabbit, conjured up a green ball of healing power in his right hand, and cast it onto the bunny. Injecting more and more and more healing power until it hurt, overhealing the rabbit to such epic proportions that it exploded with life energy! Literally! Big boom! It was his Over Load skill he learned from the lady healer when he was working as a Prinny manufacturing technician in Hades. It wasn't clear if the blast had killed the rabbit, but it certainly put it out of the fight. If it lived, it would live well.

"Alright! One down, just, like, fifty to go… OW!" He groaned, as another rabbit smacked him in the knee with its blade, causing him to grab it and hobble around on one foot.

Violet, being clearly the biggest and most competent member of the team, was being beset by a half dozen rabbits, and despite being unarmed, was easily holding them off. The rabbits leapt at her, slashed, and tried to climb on her, but her armor was utterly impenetrable. Her armor-plated jabs, punches, and kicks sent one, two, then three of the rabbits flying. But she was quickly getting overwhelmed. "Nnnh… need some backup over here!"

"Take this!" Momoko called out, hopping up onto a table to grab the other poleaxe from the same display Yasumi had stolen from, tossing it to Violet. Grabbing the weapon, the knight was now able to use her full range of powers. "Aha! Thank you! I needed that, now… have at thee, beasts!" She exclaimed, adopting a more aggressive stance. Since a poleaxe was technically a spear, she was able to use her Thousand Piercings skill. Faster than the eye could see, she jabbed and thrust at four of the rabbits approaching her, poking their HP away, and causing each to poof into a pink cloud. However, more rabbit soldiers were rushing in to fill the gap. "Oh my, we're being overrun!"

"Oh, ya think!?" The Anti-Messiah called back, using a level-1 wind spell to blow a single bunny soldier away, only for two more to grab onto him, one pulling each of his pigtails in opposite directions. "OWOWOWOW! NOT THE HAIR! NOT THE HAIR!"

"Waaah! Watch the Ribbon! WATCH THE RIBBON!" Another bunny was climbing up Sally's own mane of fiery red hair, making the extremely ill advised call that risked perturbing her adorable Mage ribbon atop her head, which would be bad for him, Sally, and everyone within about a 20 mile radius.

Momoko knew what was coming if that didn't stop NOW, so she grabbed a portrait of Murasaki off the wall, and tossed it like a boomerang towards the offending rabbit, beaning it on the forehead and knocking it off of Sally's back.

"Enough of this charade! All rabbits! Carrot Funnel Formation!" The Rabbit Sargent commanded. Each Rabbit raised its sword to the sky, summoning a swirling ring of carrot rockets up over its head.

"Oh no…" Violet saw what was coming. That many carrots would be the end of them. Even her mighty DEF couldn't stop that barrage. She looked to her left, to see the big open doors of an adjacent hallway. "Everybody! In there!" She exclaimed, before grabbing the still-rampaging Yasumi by the poofy tail thing attached to her tabard, and then charging with unyielding force through the bunnies between her and the hallway. "Iie! Unhand me this instant! Am still killing rabbits! Will SKIN and COOK them all!" The Shaman exclaimed and flailed as she was dragged away.

The rabbits unleashed their barrage at once. A circus of carrot missiles careening into the floor where the duo was standing, erupting in a series of fiery, orange, carotene-laced explosions. Momoko leapt from her perch on a nearby table, barely dodging a swarm of the rockets, and using the heads of each rabbit as a stepping stone to escape the blast, while Sally breathed another gout of flame, clearing a path for herself and the Anti-Messiah to stumble into the hallway. As soon as they were in, Violet slammed the heavy wooden doors shut just as the blasts reached the threshold with a series of muffled thumps. "Phew! That was close!"

"Ahh Jeez… damned rabbits. Remind me to use them as lab animals when we get home." The Anti-Messiah grumbled, as he adjusted his hair scrunchies to get it back where it was supposed to be. And all was right with the world.

"Awwwww… how can something so fluffy and cute be so meeeeean!" Sally mewled, as her prospects of forcible bunny cuddling dwindled. Yasumi, having calmed down a bit, walked over to Sally and patted her on the shoulder to reassure her. "It okay. When we kill and cook all bunnies, will make taxidermy doll for you from leftover pelts. Voodoo doll."

"Really? Ooh! That sounds great!" Sally cheered. Stuffed animals tend not to complain as much.

"Don't let your guard down. We're not out of the woods just yet." Violet spoke, as she looked down the hallway. It was one of those unnecessarily long ones, lined with portraits, decorative suits of armor, and random doors on either side. Probably where you went into one and came out of another one further down the hall on the other side.

"Alright! Let's split up, gang! Start checking these rooms and look for clues! And… y'know, valuables." The Clergy chirped, raising his index finger inquisitively.

"Splitting up is a terrible idea! We'll be unable to defend each other." Violet responded, with some good common tactical sense.

"I think he's trying to make an oblique reference to something on TV, nyao." Momoko added, as she strode over to one of the decorative armors and tried to steal the sword from its grasp. As soon as she did, a great gout of blue flame appeared where the head of the knight would be. The same flame appeared in all of the armors, which creaked and groaned to life as they floated off of their stands. The arm and waist parts levitate as if being worn by an invisible wielder. They were living armors!

"Oh Jeez, not again!" The Clergy raised his improvised staff, and cast a shield effect on himself, raising his DEF by, like, a lot.

"H…hey! Don't hog the shield! Let me have some to- WOAH!" Sally suddenly had to duck, to avoid getting a way too close shave as the nearest of the animate armors slashed right at her neck

The other armors began to mob the guild, pushing them into a tighter and tighter formation. Violet retaliated, being the only one skilled and protected enough to challenge the skilled animate armors, bringing her spear up to counter the one nearest her. The loud metal clang of blades contacted as she slashed and jabbed with the polearm, showing incredible skill. However, the swordsmanship of these armors was an equal match, and they had a numbers advantage.

Sally cast a single fireball at the armor advancing upon her, having absolutely no effect due to its +50% flame RES! "Okay uhm… uhm… UHM! They're inflammammamal… inflammababble… THEY'RE NOT BURNIN'!"

"No duh!" Momoko yelled, using her superior SPD to dodge the knights. The only weapon she had to defend herself being a fireplace poker she grabbed from the foyer. Her slashes were almost entirely ineffective against the completely non-fleshy non-pain-feeling armors. "These things run on fire! We gotta use water on them, nyao. Look for a sink or a hose or a fire exting… FIRE EXTINGUISHER!"

Indeed! Fortunately Murasaki at least had enough respect for Netherworld fire safety guidelines to keep a few extinguishers handy. Momoko deftly dashed and dodged and wove through the armors, evading their slashes by mere inches, to bolt to the end of the hallway, smashing open the 'IN CASE OF EMERGENCY' case with her poker, and stealing the extinguisher inside. As the armors lunged at her, she aimed the business end of the extinguisher at the nearest one and squeezed the trigger, causing a spray of liquid carbon dioxide to smother the flame in the armor's neck. This caused it to clatter lifelessly to the ground, falling apart.

"Oh hey that really worked? You know the drill! Aim for the head!" The Clergy called out, as he conjured a Mega Ice spell, sending a giant chunk of the stuff flying to the ceiling, which then burst into rain, showering down upon four of the Armors that were surrounding Sally, ready to strike.

"Waaaaah! I'm melting!" The Mage whined, as she dropped to the floor and rolled around in a fetal position as her elemental kryptonite, water, rained down on her. And not a moment too soon either, as the knights all struck out in unison, but as the Mage dropped, they ended up striking each other, knocking themselves apart, while two others fell apart due to the water dousing their spiritual flames.

"Oaaa! Curse of wet clothes. Most unpleasant. Warm self with fire spell." Yasumi suggested, as she jabbed her poleaxe into the wall, ripping into the plaster and particle board, gutting the house itself on a quest for her true target: insulation. "CURSE OF FIBERGLASS! CURSE OF ASBESTOS! SMOTHER THY FLAMES!" She exclaimed, as she ripped out whole big hunks of the pink fluff, and then proceeded to jam it down the armors' neck sockets, snuffing out the flames with the inflammable fluff. The guild's ingenuity had turned the tide, as one by one the armors fell.

"Phew! Good thing these Armors are so freakin' dumb. Almost had me worried for a sec-" The Anti-messiah rubbed his brow, confident at the Guild's victory. He hadn't even had to reanimate his teammates once!

"Oi! Oi! Don't say that! You'll Jinx it!" Momoko yelled out.

"Oaaa! DO say that! More Jinx! More curs-" Yasumi cheered. And right on cue, much to the Shaman's delight and everyone else's disdain, the entire building began to shake. On the left side of the furthest door down the hallway, the entire wall exploded in a shower of splinters and debris. Another armor appeared, this one riding a Skeleton Dragon. A Horseman! It drew its golden lance and aimed it at the guild. Its devil-shield at the ready to protect it from any ice or asbestos attacks. Its brutal skeletal mount scratching the ground and lowering its head, before bellowing an undead warcry, and charging!

"Wellp! We're boned!" The Anti-messiah threw his hands in the air. "Get it. Boned. Cuz it's a skeleton. A skeleton that's big and huge and runningatusreallyfastOHMYGAWSH- oof!" Violet tackled the Clergy to the edge of the room, getting him out of the way just as the Horseman plowed through the spot where he was standing, landing on top of him with a satisfying crunch. "UUUUGH! I know that was a terrible pun but that wasn't an invitation to shatter MY bones! Owie!"

Momoko, Sally, and Yasumi all had to dart out of the path of the monster in turn, as it skidded to a halt at the end of the hallway, turning around, and preparing to charge back again. "Run, nyao!" Momoko yelled, grabbing Sally by her hair and dragging her as fast as her cat-like tread could carry her away from the onrushing Horseman. Yasumi and Violet, still carrying the Clergy, charged after the thief, rushing towards the door at the opposite end of the hallway. But the horseman was gaining on them fast.

To make matters worse, as they approached, the tall double doors at the end of the hall opened. A phalanx of Bunny guards and Living armors appeared, weapons drawn, to block their path. Thinking quickly, Violet noticed a tapestry stuck up on the wall nearby. "Momoko! Grab that! I have an idea!"

"Can do, nyao!" The thief hopped up ontop of Yasumi's head, using it as a stepping stone to leap to the wall, yank down the tapestry, and toss it to Violet, mid run. The crafty knight quickly twisted the tapestry up into a rope and tossed the end back to Momoko. "Pull it tight!"

"Tug of waaaaaaar!" Sally called out, as she, Momoko, and Yasumi grabbed one side of the tapestry, Violet and the Anti-Messiah the other, pulling it taut just as the Horseman passed over it. The Skeletal mount was tripped, though the force yanked the entirety of the Adventure Squad along for the ride. The whole cavalcade stumbling and falling directly into the mass of guards standing in the doorway, resulting in a tidal wave of bones, armor pieces, contused rabbits, and five very frazzled adventurers, all flying clumsily into the throne room beyond.

"Ohohooowww… Jeez… no this is fine, this is only the hundredth time I've been barreled over today." The Anti-Messiah groaned, weakly raising his improvised staff up to cast a heal spell on himself. And only himself.

"H…hey! Quit hoggin' the heaaalllls…" Sally groaned, her hair disheveled and having serious rugburn from that faceplant.

"Oi. SP isn't free, y'know… I gotta save up my supply… y'know… for me."

At that moment, another voice spoke up, standing up on the throne balcony overlooking the room. "So, intruders! It appears you've bested my elite guards and breached my inner sanctum. I suppose I've underestimated you. Clearly you must be a skilled and powerful guild of assassins…"

Sally immediately popped up to her feet, doing her little Mage cheer at the compliment. "Mhm! That's us! We're the Disgaea Guild Adventure Squad! The ultimate cuties! The strongest band of demons in, like, all the Netherworlds put together!"

"Uhh… yeah. Sure. What she said. Where's your phone? I wanna get outta here." The Anti-messiah added, anticipating a monologue that isn't his in the near future.

"Oh no. I don't think you ladies will be goin' anywhere. But you're welcome to stay the night… in my personal harem." Murasaki responded, spreading his fuzzy arms out dramatically.

"Oh boy, here we go. Can't say I didn't warn you." Violet shrugged, seeing right through the lecherous lapin's plans the minute he said 'stay the night'. Well, slightly more about as lecherous as some of her own deranged companions.

BGM: ~Makai Kingdom OST: Great Wilder Kingdom arrangement~
watch?v=ERzGuLOO0Aw

"Now then! Surrender peacefully and you will be spared, for I am the one! The only…!"

Murasaki Ageese – Rabbit Overlord

"You have come to my realm, foolishly, in order to plunder it, but now you will bow down and accept my generous hospitality! Ufufufu! Or else!" The Rabbit Lord explained, before drawing a mighty black-bladed Katana, crackling with power from hundreds upon hundreds of item world forays.

Violet took a step forward, not at all impressed by this overlord's bluster and swagger. She's trained against overlords before, and while he's no doubt strong, all of this domineering bedroom talk was sounding more like a challenge to the knight than anything else. "Oh, no no no. I will not bow down to you. You see, I prefer making others bow down to me."

The Anti-Messiah's pigtails flicked at this seemingly offhand comment. Hoo boy, big red flag right there. Immediately he took a look at Violet's info card.

NAME: Violet
CLASS: Coral Knight
LVL: 250
PERSONALITY TYPE: Sadist

"Uh oh!" The healer chirped, taking a few steps away from the knight and making a silent vow to never, ever, ever, ever antagonize her or make a snide breast plate comment again. "Wellp! Good luck, bunny! Been nice knowin' you."

"Oh? And where do you think you're going, little girl? I have plans for you! To train you into my personal maid. You will look quite good in a bonnet, I'm sure, and will learn to make carrot cocktails just the way I lik-" Murasaki's menacing monologue was brought to a dead stop right then and there, at the look he received from the Clergy.

"Girl? GIRL!? Did you just assume my Gender, scrub?!" The rabbit had clearly touched a nerve. Even Violet blinked and took a step back with how the healer was fuming. "Do you know who I am!?"

"Uh ooooooh!" Sally squeaked.

"Nyao you've gone and done it!" Momoko grinned, more amused by his reaction than anything else.

"I… uhh…ehh… what?!" Murasaki was genuinely confused here.

"I'm the final boss of Armageddon! The Devil's right-hand man! I've corrupted more human souls than you can count! Performed medical horrors and surgical nightmares that would melt your eyes right out of your skull to bear witness on! You think you're a real tough guy? HUH bunny boy? I've seen tougher roadkill than you on the side of the highway!" The Angry-Messiah scolded, smoke practically coming out of his ears.

"What…ehh…ahh! Who told you such things? Clearly you have an overactive imaginat-" Murasaki tried to counter the verbal shellacking, but it was clear he had made a terrible mistake.

"Oh ho ho? Imagination is it, furbag?! I look like some kinda theme-park character to you? Huh? Well Imagine THIS!" The Clergy yelled out, a grim look of determination on his face, before reaching down to the flowery part of his dress, hiking it right on up, and… probably raising a lot more questions than he just answered.

BGM: ~Disgaea 3 OST: Baby PIG~
watch?v=LamFOvXfsxo

"You're a boy!?" Sally squeaked and pointed.

Momoko just made a wolf whistle. "Pfff… nice!"

"Oh goodness?!" Violet was shocked. She's been around the Netherworld a time or two but that was some real Gen-Z stuff right there.

"Oaaa! That is misfortune of… of… not think I am allowed to say!" Yasumi chirped.

(Quick Overlord's note: Whatever the Anti-Messiah is exposing right now… is probably much, much worse than you think. For a literary reference, please refer to At the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft.)

Murasaki just stared. Mouth agape. He shrugged his shoulders, dropped his sword, and groaned. A 'no, just no' look on his face. "Okay okay. I'm sorry. Look, just… just go. Get out of my house and go." He spoke, in a frustrated deadpan.

"Great! Perfect! Just the response we wanted to hear! Been a pleasure doin' business with you!" The clergy perked right back up, as he dropped his skirt and returned to his regularly scheduled shenanigans. "Gonna need to use your phone too."

"Dimensional gate room is three doors down on your left. Use it to go wherever. Just go." He shrugged, as he slumped back into his throne, face buried in his paw, not even caring if they fleeced the joint on their way out the door.

"Ahh… I… suppose that is good. Let's head back home." Violet shrugged.

"Yep. This day's dragged on way too long. Get some of those armor bits too on your way out. I know me a guy. Eddie pays good. He'll treat you right..." The Anti-Messiah whispered to Momoko, who nodded slyly in response, the two of them gathering up whatever random bits of Murasaki's guards that looked particularly valuable and carrying them along on their way out the door.

"Bye bye! Thanks for, uhm… all the free EXP! Remember, you owe me, like, a ton of pet rabbits after this!" Sally waved, as she quietly pondered setting the joint on fire on her way out.

Murasaki just groaned, far beyond the point of caring. "I never want to see any of those people ever again." Oh don't worry. You won't for another 7 chapters or so.

---

BGM: ~Makai Kingdom OST: Intermission~
watch?v=oL3QITmFGsA

That evening, back at Kimberley's house.

"Here's your dinner, dood!" The Chef Prinny and his two butler assistants brought out three plates for Ari, Kimberley, and Robin. The trio was sitting at the patio table out by Kimberley's garden of carnivorous plants, the latter on a large stack of books with a cushion on top due to her diminutive size. With the fading orange rays of sun sinking in the west, and the starry night filling the sky, the arrangement of tiki torches and patio lights provided a calm and relaxing ambiance to enjoy dinner.

"Thank you, Prinnies. Please feed the garden plants, then make the bed and prepare evening tea. That will be all for the night." The Archer spoke.

"Aye aye, dood." The Prinny-in-charge spoke, saluting its boss. Right on cue, a giant Venus Mantrap plant reached down, grabbed the prinny in its maw, and took the creature away.

Kimberley took stock of the sumptuous meal before her. A healthy vegetable stir-fry for herself. A tiny bowl of fruits and berries in small, fairy-sized cubes for Robin. And a plate of pepperoni and cheese-stuffed Hotpods for Ari. Delicious!

"Thank you for the dinner, miss Kimberleeeeey! You're really nice! We always have to fight Sally to get our cut of the sweets!" Robin chirps, before stuffing an entire grape into her maw. It only just barely fits.

"Thank you. This is delicious." Ari added, nodding, as he began munching down the Hotpods.

"Ahh! It would be improper of me not to abide by the rules of Netherworld hospitality. And since it's you, I left out the poison even!" She spoke. Normally it pays well to bring an antidote with you when having a fancy dinner with a Demon.

"You know, for a Demon you're really nice. Why is it that you like us so much?" Ari asked, between bites. All he heard about Demons was they were pure evil. Kimberley at least comes off as only a mild, personable, lawful sort of evil. And all her friends are more merry sociopaths most of the time.

"Mmmh… well… let's just say it's a Demon's intuition, that there's something about you that's… unusual. A dark, brooding, and mysterious past that it would be imprudent of me to not question…" The Archer spoke, putting a hand on her Chin.

"I really don't want to talk about it." Ari responded, bluntly.

"I understand. Perhaps in time. Until then, a friend of Sally's is a friend of Mine, I suppose. Well… perhaps with one or two exceptions…" She spoke, having a feeling she'd want to murder that sketchy Healer before too long.

And speak of the devil, as a quintuple of rather disheveled, and quite cross looking Demons strode up into the backyard.

"Oh. You're late! I hope all of you had… fun… oh dear." Kimberley blinked a few times, noticing the scuffed, scorched, bruised, and bedraggled looking group.

"Yo. Kid. We gotta have a lil' dialogue about something..." The Anti-Messiah spoke toward Ari, putting his hands on his hips and frowning audibly.

A chill went up the human's spine, and he seemed to shrink into the chair a bit. "I didn't do it."

"Suuuuure… nyao." Momoko crossed her arms over her chest, making a displeased cat-like stare.

"Hmmfp! You, like, totally ate my Cupcake!" Sally huffed.

"With all us inside!" Yasumi added.

"We were nearly killed!" Violet continued.

"And molested by rabbits, nyao." Momoko muttered.

"And trampled!" Yasumi yelled.

"We barely got any loot to show for it!" Violet voiced.

"And I ended up having to show off my thingy to an overl- ooh are those hotpods? The pepperoni kind?" The Anti-messiah's train of thought was suddenly interrupted by his suddenly grumbling tummy.

Ari grabbed his plate and held it as far away from the healer as he could.

"Tell ya what. We'll let bygones be bygones… if you let me eat somma that. I'm starvin'!"

"Some for me too!" Sally added. All her snacks were lost in the item world so her sugar levels were running low. Which tended to make her a lil' grouchy.

"Oh my evilness. Please don't be so harsh on the boy. Unlike us, he's only Human. Here, I'll have the Prinnies prepare some more food, medicinal tea, and scones again. I'm sure that will cheer you all up." Kimberley stood up, and offered.

"SCONES!" Sally leapt up and cheered.

"Ehh, can't complain about free food, nyao." Momoko smirked. "Fish would be nice."

"Awww… wanted to eat Human Boy. Will accept rare meat instead." Yasumi continued.

"Well… this day was indeed… eventful. I suppose it is best to end it on a positive note." Violet nodded.

"Here here!" Sally cheered once again.

Seems that after all of the day's trials and tribulations, the Guild managed to earn themselves a happy ending.

---

BGM: ~Freelancer OST: Anticipation~
watch?v=7oj_l5UOPE0

But perhaps all was not right with the Nether World tonight. Another eye observed the goings on of the Guild's respite. A mechanical lens zoomed in on the small group of demons, and their lone human companion. A small, unknown drone hovered silently in the forest behind Kimberley's abode, unseen and unheard as it spied on the scene. It transmitted its sight directly back to its master across the gulfs of space and time.

The machine proved especially interested in the human in the group's ranks.

As the guild began to wrap up the evening and head inside, Ari made one quick look over his shoulder into the woodlands, seeing nothing. But he couldn't help to shake a feeling of being watched. Regardless, he shrugged it off and floated into Kimberley's house with the rest of the group.

With the group gone, the machine quietly floated back into the night. Its report was silently transmitted to its master. Time will tell how this all unfolds. Time will tell.

---

BGM: ~Red Faction: Guerilla OST: Demolitions Master Activity~
watch?v=HqJTT4_C6jc

NEXT EPISODE!

Momoko: "In the distant future, on the planet Mars! A Red Miner Mage goes on an adventure to join her sister and make a lot of money, nyao"

*Sally Mason, wearing a hard hat and some reflective stripes on her miner robes, exits a shuttle, wielding her trusty Cutie Hammer, which is pink and covered in a floral pattern.*

Sally: "Hoi hoi! I'm, like, totally gonna mine some ore and get rich!"

Robin: "Let's smash some buildings first!"

Sally: "Okay!"

Momoko: "But tragedy strikes! The oppressive Earth Defense Force are oppressively oppressing the public, and kill her beloved sister."

*An EDF gunship flies by, shooting Robin up with bullets, then flying off.*

Robin: "Waaah! I'm dead. Sally! My dying wish is for you to go join the Guerilla insurgency I'm secretly co-leader of. *cough*"

Sally: "Okay!"

Momoko: "There, she meets the leaders of the Red Mage Faction and gets sent on important missions!"

Ari Davies: "Your sister was a good man..err… fairy. Go avenge her by smashing every building on the planet."

*Cut to scenes of Sally driving a mars truck through a house, blowing up EDF soldiers with explosive charges, and whacking the supports of a bridge with her Cutie Hammer until it eventually just collapses, sending cars flying everywhere.*

Momoko: "During her quest, she'll join forces with various Faction members of which only one is remotely memorable, nyao."

*Sally is manning a turret on a giant ramshackle scrap trike while the Anti-Messiah, dressed up in a red pocket vest and truck driver's cap, is driving down a road, plowing through EDF vehicles and blowing up everything in sight.*

Clergy Jenkins: "Hey! I'm totally not a crazy mole or anything. Wanna go get some ice cream?"

Sally: "Sure!"

Momoko: "But the Martian wastelands are home to more than just EDF goons. Terrifying Marauders plague colonists and occupiers alike!"

*Cut to some mad max-esque marauder vehicles manned by spike-covered psychos, with Yasumi leading the charge, waving a scrap metal battleaxe over her head.*

Yasumi: "RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! OAAAAA!"

Momoko: "Psst. Wrong game, nyao."

*Admiral Lucius Kimberley sits in her command seat aboard the EDS Gargantua, sipping tea as she gives instructions to Officer Esmerelda.*

Kimberley: "Ohohohoho. If you don't have the rebellion contained soon, we'll bring our gigantic spaceship over and obliterate everyone on the planet. Just because."

Esmerelda: "But they're smashing everything!"

Kimberley: "Then use even more stereotypical oppressive occupying government tactics. Adieu."

Momoko: "Even with quick thinking and copious firepower, can the Disgaea Faction win the day?"

*Cut to Sally rampaging about with a rocket launcher, blowing the supports off of a skyscraper and causing it to collapse, then smashing through a building with a construction walker, then leveling an EDF base with a rocket tank. All while laughing with increasingly manic glee.*

Momoko: "Next time! On Red Mage: Guerilla. The Red Mage breaks everything on the Red Planet. Tune in next week!"

Parker: "You have arrived at an excellent time. Feeding time! Just Chicken fry whatever ya got. I'll eat it."