…The Disillusioned Of Winter…

/Warning/: This chapter contains: cursing, sadness, maybe a little bit of angst, a little bit of violence, fluff, tired Steve, and possessive Winter! All reviews are appreciated.

P.S: This is an Omegaverse story as in Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics; it also deals with the standard Winter Soldier's warnings, with that be careful and enjoy!

"Character talking"

"Character thinking"

…Flashbacks…

Chapter 12

Steve knew... he knew that this sort of peace was temporary; that at the end of the day, he had to find a way to prove to the rest of the town that the Winter was sane enough to not cause problems for the town and its people. He knew the townpeople trusted him and would follow his every word and command no matter what considering the fact he was The Alpha and The Pack Leader (Titles that Steve never wanted, but ones that fell to his shoulders the moment he got rid of the last leader who experimented on their kind and planned to expose them to the government for fame and money) but even then, most of them would be too afraid not to make such rash decisions that would affect everyone if Steve didn't take the matter in his own hands and solve their problems. Steve knew that the best course of action was to give his mate the treatment and healing he so desperately needed if only to make everyone relax, if not being able to help his mate as he wanted.

Wakanda would have been Steve's best bet; the best technology, the best doctors, the best treatment plan, the best therapy someone could ask for, and to top it all, the king and his family were friends of Steve (Having met the older man in his travel and saved his life, gaining his friendship and royalty) Steve was sure that Shuri had been trying to make him chose Wakanda for weeks now if her staying here and refusing to go back home was anything to go by. The thing was, Steve can't just back up and drop everything to disappear with his mate, and he definitely can't leave his mate alone in Wakanda, not after being separated for decades; as much as Steve hates it, this was his home, and everyone here was a family, people he saved and spend decades with… people he can't leave when he knew how some of their pack members plotted against him.

The second best option would have to be his home; it had to be his home. Steve knew that Shuri would stay and help if Steve asked her, something that he was a little reluctant to do, not wanting to ask something of her when she had already come all the way to America to remove the metal arm from Winter and continued to stay and monitor the Omega closely as she watched out for the withdrawal symptoms that everyone feared Winter would suffer through for having stayed on suppressants and other illegal drugs for decades upon decades. The second best course of action would be getting Winter a trusted therapist that can actually handle what Winter went through, someone who was open minded, and wouldn't brand Winter as danger as soon as he saw him; Steve would have chosen Sam for this, knowing that even when he wasn't a therapist, he always knew what to say and do when it came for it, but Steve knew he can't ask more of Sam when the Beta had went to the end of the earth not only to bring Shuri here, but going as far as asking for Angie and Dottie's help (Which was an impressive fate, considering how much Sam distrust Dottie and wanted her as far away from him and Steve as humanly can) so for the therapist issue, the job fell on Daniel, who promised to take over Winter's case without any prompting, something that Steve was grateful for, because he didn't know what he would have done if Daniel had refused; considering that Daniel was an Omega, Steve hoped that everything was going to work out and that Winter wouldn't feel threatened by his presence and act out.

All of this was the easy part, coming up with plan after plan of how to handle Winter's treatment; the hard part that Steve was worried about was in fact, Winter, and how he was going to react to the news when Steve was going to tell him about him having to go to a therapy session, not only that but how was Steve going to explain to Daniel how manipulative he thinks Winter is, and how Steve was driving himself crazy thinking that he was overthinking everything and accusing his mate of something he wasn't? It always ended with Steve feeling like he was the mess that needed therapy after this…

"Alpha?" Winter's voice snapped Steve out of the rabbit hole he throw himself in, causing him to raise his eyes from the page he was re-reading for the past hour but didn't seem to make sense of what was written. Steve couldn't help the gentle smile that took over his face when he saw Winter wearing his clothes, a sweater (That was surprisingly baggy on his body, reaching his mid-thigh), and sweatpants. Ever since marking him, Winter started acting all… couple-y... in a way… something that Steve wasn't going to discourage when his mate actually seemed relaxed around him for the first time in months, going as far as to wear his clothes and sleeping in his bed without fearing that Steve was going to retaliate if he did something wrong.

"Yes, sweetheart?" Steve hummed, putting his book away when he saw Winter come toward him slowly, no doubt wanting to say something; to Steve's surprise the Omega instead of saying anything, sat in his lap, snuggling happily into Steve's chest as he started purring, turning Steve's speechless at the surprise turn of event.

"Why are you frowning?" Winter asked, after he opened and closed his mouth several times, his question surprising Steve even more than him sitting in his lap to enjoy the TV that was podcasting some cooking show; Steve couldn't help the small smile crossing over his face, at the thought of his Omega thinking of him, in his own way.

"Nothing… just thinking…" Steve murmured, pulling the Omega tightly to his chest before Winter started tensing and snapping; telling Winter 'He was thinking' was like someone telling their to-be-ex they 'Needed to talk' not something reassuring at all to Winter, and Steve learned that the hard way. "What… what do you think about… about going to a therapist?" Steve nearly blurt it out all in one go if he didn't choke midway, his action caused Winter to blink, no doubt in confusion, before turning to gaze at Steve.

"Therapist?" Winter said the word slowly as if he repeats it slower and slower each time so he would understand the meaning of such foreign word. "Why?" Winter asked, and Steve couldn't help the nervousness from taking hold of him, not knowing how to explain why he needed to take Winter to see a therapist.

"It… it's to make you feel better…" Steve ended up saying, his words causing Winter to furrow his eyebrows in confusion, clearly not understanding what Steve meant by his words, and why would he? From what Steve read in the files that Sam and Shuri brought; his Omega's brain was nearly scrambled like an egg constantly, every time those Hydra scum brought him out of cryo… it was a miracle that his Omega can button his shirt, and walk around; trying to explain, depression, PTSD, and personality disorders, would only aggravate his Omega and cause him to get angry and snap. "And when… when I see you… doing better and feeling better… I will… I will initiate The Blue Protocol…" Steve ran his hand over Winter's tummy, feeling like a scum after the words he forced himself to utter, but Steve knew deep down, that if he used any other words than the ones he spoke, Winter would flip, and would try to either run away or manipulate his way out of going into therapy.

Winter gasped, his eyes widening like saucers, his hand clutching Steve's shirt tightly, that the Alpha wondered how it didn't rip. "Really?" Winter whispered, looking at Steve like the Alpha gave him a precious gift, a look that made Steve feel like he was the lowest of the low for manipulating his Omega to do something he no doubt didn't want. Still, Steve knew… he knew that Winter needed therapy to get over what he went through with Hydra, and the last seventy years, even if the Omega claimed to be fine, and if it meant that Steve had to achieve that by being manipulative and being labeled as the villain, then he would be the villain, even if it meant gaining his Omega's hate.

"Of course, sweetheart…" Steve hummed gently, nuzzling the Omega and causing him to purr loudly and nuzzle Steve back, happiness was clear on his face as he held Steve tightly and hides his face near Steve's neck, the scent of contentment and happiness nearly overwhelmed Steve and made him feel even worse than he was already feeling…

Steve hoped he was doing the right thing…

It was a disaster… that was the closest description Steve can think of to what took place today… it started as a good day, or as close to good as it can get, when all Winter was interested in was making Steve have sex with him and mark him again and again; actions that made Steve uncomfortable at the thought of his mate only doing this so he wouldn't be 'Sent away' like he always claimed Steve was planning on doing.

It started as a good day; with Steve and Winter having breakfast, before the Alpha took his Omega to Daniel for the therapy session the two (Three of them?) agreed on. One hour session, three times a week, that's what they agreed on, and those were the words that Steve repeatedly stressed, as he tried to explain to his mate; saying all the while that 'No, therapy isn't like conditioning' and 'No, it doesn't work from just one session'… Steve nearly got sick when his mate explained to him in detail, how conditioning is much better than going to therapy, and that his Omega was even willing to handle 'The Chair' if it meant Steve would activate 'The Blue Protocol'… Steve nearly ripped all his hair out, and the two of them haven't even got into the car to drive to Daniel's office.

If Steve thought it was hell when he tried to explain and reassure his Omega over and over again, that everything was going to be fine in the therapy… then everything turned into madness when they reached Daniel's Office/House, as soon as Winter noticed Daniel, and smelled that he was an Omega; it was all about growling, and snaring as Winter held into Steve tightly, hissing when he saw the Daniel look at Steve with concern and shock, surprisingly, there was no distress scent coming from Daniel, as he saw Winter nearly turn feral on him and tried to keep him as far away from Steve as he can.

Getting Winter to go inside so they can finish the session was easier said than done; every move, every breath, every blink coming from Daniel was like a threatening message to Winter who seemed to have glued himself to Steve's side, refusing to let the Alpha move an inch in any direction if he wasn't beside him to 'Protect him' or something… making Steve doubt his decision of making Daniel his Omega's therapist; not because of his expertise, but because he was an Omega, something that made Steve felt conflicted and worse than he already was.

After nearly an hour of trying to calm Winter, and trying to make his mate relax enough to start their session (In which Steve nearly gave up and took Winter home, if it wasn't for Daniel's stubborn persona) it was as if a miracle had landed in Steve's lap when Winter finally agreed to start the session, on the condition that Daniel is to not come anywhere near Steve (As if that was possible with the way Winter was holding Steve's hostage) and the Alpha not leaving the room, both terms that everyone agreed to readily if it meant that Winter would go through this session and come to the next.

Steve really wished he was anywhere in the world instead of the homey office with Daniel and Winter… hearing his mate being so detached and clinical as he recounted what happened to him… The Chair, The Cryo, the torture, the beating, and so many more that left Steve sick… his mate answered the questions as if taking pride in being able to handle all of this, not finding a fault in the way he was treated before vs. now, causing even Daniel to grow alarmed and uncomfortable, as if he wasn't a hardened veteran who saw it all, and nearly lost his leg to the humans who enslaved him as an arena fighting dog, before Steve managed to save him.

The session drew on and on, and Steve was so close to dropping everything and searching for the rest of Hydra scum, to finish what Captain America and the Avengers couldn't finish for once and for all; his Alpha was so close to the surface, that it was a wonder how Daniel didn't kick Steve out and tell him to calm down before coming back in to continue. What really gritted on his nerves, was how uncaring Winter was, not feeling angry, sad, or violated for what he had gone through, thinking of it as something so normal, that he chronicle everything that happened to him to Daniel, before the Omega was able to gently ease him into opening about himself; a fact that Steve hoped Daniel would address later when the two of them were alone.

When it finally ended, Steve was so close to a mental breakdown than Winter who looked bored, as if he was talking about the weather, and not being tortured for over seventy years and being frozen half of that time… needlessly to say, the look that Daniel sent to him after the session ended, was no doubt the one that crossed over Steve's face from the start of the hour-long session to the end.

"I… I s-see…" That was the only thing Daniel managed at that time followed by. "See you at the next session!" Before he all but throw Winter and Steve outside his home, no doubt to have a panic attack in peace at all the information dump he was subjected to in the past hour, that was somewhat similar to what Daniel went through decades ago.

As much as Steve envied Daniel for being able to have a little peace during his meltdown, Steve wasn't that lucky as he tried to postpone having his meltdown until Winter was asleep, or after they reached their cabin. To Steve's surprise, when he reached the cabin, he saw someone he haven't seen for a few years, causing him to relax a little and for a small relieved smile to curl on his lips.

"Pepper…" Steve smiled after shutting the engine down and getting out of his car, heading straight toward the woman who was sitting on the front porch swing, and hugging her tightly when she all but jumped into his arms, sniffing as she held him tightly before letting go. "I didn't expect you until February…" Steve mumbled, his hand unconsciously raising and ruffling the woman's hair, causing her to huff and try to slap his hand away, but the smile was clear on her face.

"Nah… wouldn't mess…" Before Pepper was even able to continue her words, both Steve and she heard an angry growl coming behind them, causing Pepper to flinch and back away, and for Steve to still and turn behind him preparing for a fight… only to be surprised by the person behind him who turned out to be his mate, glaring at Pepper so harshly that even Steve couldn't help but shift uncomfortably. "So… this is… this is him…?" Pepper questioned awkwardly, shuffling on her feet before finally daring to raise her gaze to look directly at Winter, only to wet her lips nervously before swallowing, and looking down toward her shoes.

"Yeah…" Steve's words trailed as he turned to Winter who was looking more menacing by the second as he glared at Pepper like he was planning on doing something to her, causing Steve's instincts to go so wild, that he had to control himself before he let out a scolding hiss at his mate. "Pepper, this is Winter; Winter, this is Pepper… she is a family," Steve stated, stressing the word family in the hope of his mate not having any funny idea about attacking Pepper while she was asleep.

At that, Winter narrowed his eyes and came to stand beside Steve, suddenly holding into Steve's shirt tightly with his hand as he continued to gaze at Pepper with a suspicious look on his face. "A… family…" Winter said the word slowly, narrowing his eyes even more, as he took Pepper, his lips pressing tightly forming a line. "I… know you?" Winter suddenly asked, his question nearly causing Pepper to flinch before she shook her head.

"N-no… but Steve… he used to tell me about you all the time," Pepper said, seeming to recover as she looked at Winter with a happy smile on her face, not before Steve noticed how Pepper was trying to force herself to take in Winter and take in the person he had turned into. Pepper's words, caused Winter to look between Pepper and Steve, a surprising look on his face before he looked at his feet in confusion.

"He… h-he did?" Winter asked in a small voice, and Steve couldn't help the crestfallen expression from crossing over his face, Pepper seemed to have noticed that, as she turned to Steve with a concern look; but Pepper being Pepper, she just smiled happily and nod to the Omega, no doubt decided to ask Steve what was amiss when Winter was out of earshot.

"Of course! You are the only thing he ever talks about… he always told me how he missed you, and… and how happy he is that you are finally home." Pepper said these words with a huge smile on her face, causing Winter to let out a soft 'Oh' before he seemed to relax; a small smile on his flushed face before he glanced up at Pepper one last time before turning to Steve with a happy look on his face. "Now, why don't we go inside; I brought a lot of presents on my way here!" Pepper continued to talk, not only to fill in the silence but also to distract Winter from the heavy conversation Pepper and Steve were having with their eyes, as they both glanced at Winter before glancing at one another…

Steve couldn't help but feel like this was going to be a long, long night…

Catching up with Pepper took a lot longer than Steve expected, not that he was complaining or anything; it was the opposite. Steve was so happy to finally see Pepper beside him after such a long time, and at the same time, he couldn't help but tease her relentlessly when he saw that once again, she didn't bring her amour to meet him, even after spending all of their phone calls talking about the one she wanted to bond and mate.

Talking with Pepper and filling her on what took a place in the past few months had removed a huge weight from his back he didn't know he carried around and was nearly crushed by; he was so grateful to the woman he considered a family and a daughter, that he nearly started crying in his place. But he knew he couldn't; he couldn't show any negative emotions around Winter in front of anyone, or the Omega would think they did something and he would attack, something that Steve didn't want.

"I don't know what to do, Pep…" Steve whispered, gazing at Winter who had fallen asleep on the couch not that far away from them. "…It is like a constant battle, like any day… any time for that matter… I would do something so stupid and hurt him more than he already is. He is so obsessed about having me as his mate, that he would do anything to insure that…" Steve explained, his words causing Pepper to frown and look at Winter with concern and worry in her eyes. "…And to top it all, every time he sees me, every time! It is all about, activating this protocol, or that protocol as if labeling mating and sex as a protocol would turn me on enough to do something unsavory!" Steve ranted for maybe an hour or so, nearly hissing and growling as he continued, being thankful that Pepper didn't say anything other than humming and nodding her head as if trying to take in everything Steve was going to disclose before passing her judgment

"But… it is his choice… right?" Pepper questioned gently after he was done, her eyebrows furrowed and she seemed to be in deep thoughts. "It is in a way his choice; even if you think he did it so he would avoid being given back to Hydra... it is a choice… bonding and wanting you as his mate… it is his first choice in over seventy years without an influence that would terrify him into doing as they want, right? Did he show any sign of not understanding what being mates meant when you explained it? If not, then I don't see any problem in you consuming your bond after getting him the therapy he needed… better now, then when his heat comes and taking the choice out of both of your hands." That made Steve let out a tired sigh, and he couldn't help but glance back at Winter, his mind already going into overdrive at the thought of Winter going into heat… or lack of… so far, Shuri didn't know when Winter's heat would occur, or if it would occur for that matter after spending decades being forced to use illegal suppressants.

"I don't know what to say, Pep… he is Bucky… but at the same time he isn't… he remembered who he was, but deny having these memories as his. He is manipulative, I noticed it; how he only used his memories and the past actions of Bucky to gain sympathy and get what he wants… it makes me wonder…" Steve whispered, finally voicing his biggest concern to Pepper, hoping that the Beta would have a bit of advice to give him, and help him to face this dilemma he no doubt throw himself in.

Pepper didn't talk for a long time, no doubt trying to make sense of the words Steve was saying, and when she did talk, she let out a tired sigh as she returned her gaze to Winter who was surprisingly sleeping comfortably even with the two of them talking not that far away. "I think… I think this would have been the only way he had to survive Hydra… manipulating them to believe he is harmless to those that matter while thinking of the best course of action to secure his safety and survival… this is the only way he could live… the only way he knows how to live... God knows how it sucked to be like that…" Pepper had a faraway look on her face, and Steve couldn't help the guilt from taking over him for reminding her of something she no doubt wanted to forget. "In a way, I do understand his action, the desperate want to attach himself to the first person who offered him safety and a new start away from the hell he had been through…" Pepper couldn't help but glance back at Steve and give him a small self-conscious smile. "He is Bucky, but at the same time he isn't; he is Winter, but he also isn't. Two sides that were fighting for dominance for decades and the winner is sleeping there, learning from the start what it is like to be alive and not a puppet in the wrong hands." Steve couldn't help clenching his fists tightly to stop them from shaking, his eyes misting over as he tried not to lose it and cry at Pepper's words that confirmed the harsh truth he didn't dare to voice.

"He is Bucky… he looks like, Bucky… smells like, Bucky… has his memories… but isn't him…" Steve couldn't help but let a tired laugh, his eyes taking Winter who scrunch his nose and nuzzled the blanket that Steve covered him with when the Omega fell asleep a few hours ago. "I know I accept the facts that presented themselves; accepted that Bucky is… dead… and in his place is Winter. I accepted the fact, but still… I…" Steve's words trailed, not even he knew what to think or feel anymore, so he just bit his lower lip harder and tried to gather himself before breaking down.

"You know; he didn't change at all… he is the same person he was seventy years ago, but this time… this time he doesn't force himself to wear a mask, to humor society…" Pepper mumbled, seeming like she was in a daze before letting out another sniff, her eyes misting and she had to shake her head and put a smile on her face… not fast enough because Steve managed to glimpse the turmoil hiding deep down, under the façade Pepper tried to hold on to. "When I saw him yesterday… it was like… it was like no time had passed at all… the look he gave me when he saw me, was the same one from seventy years ago." That made Steve still in his place, waiting until Pepper gathered herself enough to continue; this was the first time that Pepper had opened up to him about what happened when she met his mate decades ago after Steve died saving her. "The same growl… the same glare… the same accusation look on his face… I couldn't help feeling like I was a helpless child once more, being blamed for killing you and destroying all of your lives just because I was stupid and stubborn, wanting to walk back home after dark instead of staying over at my friend's house." Pepper whispered, her words causing Steve to frown as he felt a pang in his heart.

"It is not your fault…" Steve stated, touching one of Pepper's hands and giving it a gentle squeeze, giving the woman a harsh look when she looked at him doubtfully. "It is not your fault." Repeated Steve, not letting go of Pepper's hand until she nodded her head, even then, Steve knew she was humoring him more than believing him. "Pepper… everyone knew that if that wolf didn't kill me, I would have died in the front lines as military fodder, and if not, I was too sick that it would have been a wonder if I survived the next day." That made Pepper bit her lower lip so hard that Steve wondered how she didn't break the skin and start bleeding. "If I didn't save you that day… then I wouldn't be here now, alive and healthy even after seventy years. if I didn't save you back then, then Winter wouldn't be here, he would have been in Hydra's clutch or worse… if I didn't die that day, then you would still be in the military's hands, being their experiment on until they succeed in turning you into the next asset…" That made Pepper sniffle, and she had to wipe her eyes, her breath hitched as she tried to control herself.

"But… it wasn't fair that… it wasn't fair that you lost your mate and child… even if you found him now… it wasn't fair that you were apart for so long… I… I did this…" Pepper whispered, swallowing tightly as her gaze fell on Winter, who was shifting in his sleep, and she bite her lip harder when she saw the empty left sleeve of Winter's shirt.

"You didn't…" Steve gave Pepper a gentle smile, even when he looked at her with stern eyes, telling her for the thousand times that it wasn't her fault. "I raised you better than this." Steve suddenly said, causing the Beta's eyes to snap toward him and took him in. "You didn't do any of this, if it was anyone's fault, then it would be mine… it is my fault for not being healthy enough and always falling sick, always causing Bucky pain and forcing him to take drastic measures to ensure my health… it is my fault for not being strong enough to win that fight and protect you better, forcing you to leave your family and live under the military command for years… it is my fault for not being fast enough and find Bucky before Hydra did; I was not fast enough to find him, and not fast enough to save him before they turned him into… this… if someone is to be blamed it is me, and not a ten years old child who didn't know how messed up the world we live in…" That caused Pepper to hold her sob as she wiped her eyes with her fists, trying to banish the tears that were now streaming down her face.

"Alpha…" A sleepy mumble broke Pepper and Steve from their depressing mood, causing them to turn to Winter who seemed to wake up and was rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, looking around the place until his eyes fell on Steve and Pepper, who finally managed to dry her tears and give Winter a soft smile. Winter, though, only gave a poor imitation of the smile, causing Pepper to sniffle once more, and for Steve to sigh, standing up and putting a reassuring hand on Pepper's shoulder before he went to see how Winter was faring.

"Sorry, sweetheart, did we wake you up?" Steve asked, when he reached his mate, causing the Omega to shake his head, and clutch Steve tightly, when the Alpha reached him, mumbling something under his breath before relaxing, nearly falling asleep in Steve's arms, again, causing the Alpha to chuckle and carry his Omega bridal style before turning to Pepper, who was tidying up, no doubt preparing to sleep that that the sun finally started rising in the distance. "It is not your fault…" Steve couldn't help but repeat once more, causing Pepper to still and turn to him, with apprehension on her face. "If it wasn't for what happened… I wouldn't be here holding my mate in my arms." That caused Pepper to still for a few moments before giving a nod, a small smile on her face as she went to the guest room, no doubt trying to make sense of their conversation and no doubt trying to convince herself that what Steve said was true, even if she didn't believe him at the moment…

Steve couldn't help the sadness that took hold of him…

So what do you think?

Finally, Steve and Pepper met! And it wasn't the lovey-dovey meeting I imagined T^T

Poor everyone…

Anyway! I posted another Steve/Bucky Steve/Loki story, but with a twist!

In that story, Loki is Bucky Barnes; yes, you heard it right! Loki is Bucky!

If you are interested, please go check on the fic 'A Puzzle From The Past' and tell me what you think, I hope you like it!

Read and Review

And tell me what you think…

Nazaki-Sama