Chapter 7: Skull Shenanigans
BGM: ~Darksiders 2 OST – The Crypt~
watch?v=CHc1oNGiF6s
In a distant, unknown Netherworld
A pair of doors, tall as skyscrapers opened into the cavernous hall, with a strained groan of colossal iron fittings. The creaking noise of ancient masonry and dust falling from the ceiling were the only noises, until the rhythmic sound of very small shoes falling upon stone echoed through the vault.
An earnest magician boy, with an odd jacket worn on his head, bearing tied sleeves which resembled oversized ears, strode unto the hall. He walked forth with a swagger and stoic confidence that belied his diminutive size. This boy was on a Quest. And the next piece of the puzzle lay within this ancient fastness. The walls of the cathedral were made of carved stone, festooned with imposing columns and intimidating bas-reliefs, depicting monsters and horrors far darker and more vile than any mere netherworld could hope to contain. They seemed to extend upward forever, with only a faint whitish-green glow falling upon the floor below from the 'sky' of this realm.
The boy, a Skull class wizard, walked along the increasingly convoluted and twisted cathedral, holding his wand in one hand, with a book under his opposite arm, and a long wooden staff with a crystal inlay hovering alongside him and following where he went. His ears were pricked up and his eyes scanned every nook and cranny from behind his spectacles. His prize would not be left unguarded…
This place was a vault. A place left as a contingency plan by an ancient sage. The most vile Demon of an age would be shackled to this place, to guard the icon of power that was entombed within.
Up ahead lay a yawning precipice where the floor appeared to have collapsed in, and a seemingly bottomless pit expanded down below. Such a trivial obstacle. The Skull waved his staff before him, and cast out a wave of ice, which solidified the air itself and created a bridge. This allowed the boy to cross with ease, skating down to the far side. As soon as he set foot on solid ground, however, the structure began to quake. Stones from above fell, smashing his ice bridge, and forcing the boy to somersault and dodge lest he be dashed by the avalanche.
As soon as he regained his footing, another unnecessarily tall door opened at the end of the passage of its own accord, seemingly as if to invite the Skull into the antechamber beyond. With no other direction to go, he did so passing into a comparatively claustrophobic foyer (in the sense that one could merely drive a Tank through it, instead of being able to contain a small city).
On the other side was an octagonal intersection, extending up and down to infinity. Stained glass windows to nowhere allowed eerie green light to shine in. Bridges at various angles crossed the chamber above and below. The Skull had to cross one such stone bridge to the opposite door. As the boy strode forward, he gazed upward. Carved into the walls were a few nooks, balconies, and openings. And he thought he saw movement…
Flash! A bolt of energy flew from one of the alcoves above, striking the bridge just before him, and shattering the stone. As the ground gave out below him, the Skull began to fall to certain doom. But a wizard of his caliber was nothing if not quick on the draw. He spoke a dark hymn, and a pair of inky black wings, woven from pure darkness and in the shape of a crow's appeared. The Skull glided down seemingly effortlessly to the parallel bridge, and then immediately cast a wind spell behind himself to lunge forward, as another fusillade of magical attacks shattered behind him. He evaded the attack and passed yet another skyscraper-sized door as he somersaulted into the room beyond.
The next room was pitch black. He called his staff forward, the divining rod pulsating with power. It floated out of his hands of its own accord, leading him into the darkness. A visage of the full moon appeared atop the staff, providing enough light for the Skull to navigate by. The light from the staff revealed an endless, unimaginably vast colonnade, going from a sprawling obsidian floor to a ceiling hewn from rock, and extending out in all directions. The staff proceeded to hover in a random direction, homing in on the inner sanctum.
The Skull followed, quietly muttering another spell to himself, in anticipation of a fight. He could hear them. Cackling, growling, and skittering around just beyond his staff's light. First one grazed the edge of the field of view. Then two more. They grew bolder by the second. Flashes of teeth, of purple flesh, wriggling tails and thorny spikes.
"Enough of this charade. Show yourselves, peons!" The boy spoke, his voice juvenile but full of conviction. He snapped his figures, and the ambient moonlight emitted by his staff suddenly erupted in a brief sunburst, revealing the Skull to be surrounded by dozens, perhaps hundreds of creatures. Each little more than a purple mouth full of teeth, with two small arms and a tail.
These were Summons, of a type that once terrorized the islands of Ivoire long ago. Heralds of a banished demon, who's fetid stench was replete in this place.
"Hmmfp. I had expected something more than you weaklings." The boy spoke, with a cocky yet dismissive tone of voice. He took his staff to hand, and proceeded to wave it in a wide arc, conjuring up a magic circle before him, which multiplied into a dozen, surrounding him and crackling with energy. His magic tome floated out from under his arm, hovered in midair, and opened itself to the correct page.
BGM: ~AMID EVIL ost – Arcane Dirge (second part 2:47)~
/assGn3ZHOsk?list=PLt20fGXJf9955FCu2mozIPJ-coZ6L1CvI&t=168
The Summons began to advance, wriggling toward the boy with murderous intent. Cackling and making grimacing faces as they did. From the floating tome, a great purple sigil flared into being. In a flash, each magic circle pulsed to life, unleashing a mighty bolt of star magic! A dozen beams of pure power lanced out, and a dozen Summons were flung away. But the rest, heedless of their fallen comrades, yet advanced.
The Skull drew his wand, flinging hexes left and right. With each swing, he cast razor shards of crystalized ice at each oncoming Summon in turn, burying into their flesh and sending them flying into the void at blinding speed. One by one they fell, but another wave came. A few swiping close enough to nearly hit his robes.
Before he could be surrounded, the Skull unleashed a mighty Giga Wind spell, causing a tornado to manifest and twist around him, blowing the Summons away. The grimoire turned to another page and unleashed ice shards into the mix, shredding the summons caught in the vortex. What better to accompany a windstorm than lightning. The Skull raised his hands over his head dramatically, then called down the thunder, as bolt after bolt lashed down and electrocuted the remaining ilk.
But a distant, tortured roar echoed through the halls. The onrushing of a greater abomination. A pair of hands, detached from the host body but floating as if they were a part, stomped onto the ground, dragging the disembodied torso and head of the Wraith forward. A trail of viscera and gore flowing in its wake.
"Hmmfp. This is more the guardian I expected. No matter. My Quest is absolute, and demands that you fall, beast! By the teachings of Great Arcanios, by the Magi of the Arcane Sanctuary, by their boiled blood and damned souls, my magic shall be the end of you, misbegotten savage!" The Skull spoke, standing before the towering Wraith, undeterred by its fearsome visage.
A sword made of pure bone materialized in one of the Wraith's disembodied hands, as the monster bellowed a warcry and slashed wildly forward. Despite his meagre MV stat, the Skull cast a Speed Boost buff onto himself, giving him the haste with which to dodge the savage blow. The Wraith thrashed with the sword at him, only to be met with a ribbon of flame conjured by the boy wizard. The fiery ropes extended from his wand, grabbed the blade and coiled around it like a whip, before burning through and causing it to shatter.
The Wraith countered, charging forward and smashing into pillar after pillar, causing stones to fall from the ceiling, forcing the skull on the defensive as he dodged each one in turn. Again and again the Wraith charged, smashed, and attempted to crush the wizard, all while another wave of Summons began to skitter forth to join the wild fray.
Seeing that he was being overwhelmed, the Skull recalled his flame-whip from his wand. He deftly combined it with an Omega Wind spell cast from the staff, and shaped the resulting vortex into the shape of a gigantic flaming Oxen. The phantasmal beast, composed of green fire and swirling wind, scratched the ground once, snorting a breath of flames, and lowered its fiery horns before charging at the Wraith. The fire-ox was equal in size to its victim, and barreled right into the beast, breaking upon it like an ocean wave, blackening bone and scorching the ichor within. The Ox passed through, reformed on the other side, and barreled into a legion of the Spawns, then turned around, and charged the Wraith again.
This time, the Ox burst on impact, sending the Wraith flying backward into another pillar, before a falling ceiling stone crashed down from above and pinned the beast to the ground. The Skull hopped up upon the stone and began to channel his own spirit into a final coup de grace.
"Enough, beast! You are merely an obstacle. Begone from my path!" The boy bellowed, in the most intimidating tone of voice he possibly could. Which is to say, not particularly. Nevertheless, magic flowed from his hands into a glowing sigil, which would do the talking for him. He conjured a mighty Astral Wave of pure coherent power, and cast it down in a final blow against the Wraith's head. The blow put the Monster down then and there. Its death released a shockwave of magic power, which dispelled the remaining Summons, causing them to fall limply to the floor and crumble to ash.
"Hmmfp." The Skull hopped down from the stone and strode forth into the pillar forest once more. There is no reason to remain here, when his goal is so close.
But before he could move but a few steps away, the snap of cracking stone would be heard. The damage to the floor below the Wraith's corpse caused a massive collapse which swallowed up the colonnade, the skull, and everything. Amidst a rain of broken stone falling into an endless void, the Skull was caught off guard. Thinking quickly, he pulled a small gold pocket watch, and muttered yet another spell.
"Per Arcanios! Aevum est mora!" He exclaimed. The falling stones seemed to stop in mid air, allowing the Skull to land on one, barely managing to get his footing before falling further.
BGM: ~AMID EVIL OST – Achlys~
watch?v=5YE4Ksg91pY&list=PLt20fGXJf9955FCu2mozIPJ-coZ6L1CvI&index=27
The stones were now frozen in a seemingly endless black void, above a swirling whirlpool of maroon-colored energy. An assemblage of gigantic crystals could be seen surrounding a floating dais. Atop which was a gilded metal cage, containing in its center a large, vogel cut, violet gem.
That was it. The Amethyst of Perseverance. The last piece of the puzzle he needed to create his ultimate spell. That was what would make this journey worth it.
The Skull wasted no time, and began hopping across the shards of stone from the broken floor, swinging off of iron fittings, and if necessary, casting wind spells to blow himself toward various precipices. But as he advanced, the Skull had let his guard down, seemingly blinded by the goal before him…
As he landed on the central pillar and approached the Prisma Crystal, he traced his fingers through the air, letting his magic identify the wards and seals on the cage encasing the gem. But as he did this, a tortured roar began to echo through the void. Of a vast, colossal being. The rattling of gigantic chains was heard.
The Skull quickly summoned his staff and Grimiore back to himself, the pages of the book opening, and casting a transmutation charm onto the Staff, the brooch of which split into three black horns reminiscent of a dead tree limb. The claw-staff shot up into the void above the skull, before a miniature sun was called from its position in space, letting its radiant yellow light shine upon this void.
And then it was revealed what lay beyond. Crucified to a gigantic wall of obsidian with vast crystal spikes and bound with iron chains was an even larger beast. The evil demonic entity who brought death and destruction to the World of Ivoire all those years ago. A hulking mass of gigantic bones, detached hands, putrid innards, and crystalized blood.
"Hmmfp… for all the terror you can put into lowly mortals, you are naught but a plaything to Lujei and the Merchant of Death, aren't you?" The Skull spoke, even as the vast beast began to rouse from its slumber. Its eyes glowing. A tortured growl beginning to emanate from whatever it has in its throat.
The beast made no response. Could it even speak? Well, the boy wizard certainly had a low opinion of it. True, it was a relative weakling in Netherworld terms, at least compared to Overlords. But the Skull, for all his skill, was still outmatched, despite his Bravado. And undoing the seals on this cage would take time. Time he did not have, as the beast began to pull free of its bindings, heedless of its own blood spilling from the wounds.
"I don't know who bound you here, but you're interfering with my plans! I am the Acolyte and Avenger of lord Arcanios! I will claim the Amethyst of Perseverance and liberate the Academy, and I won't let you or anyone else stand in my wa- GYAHHH!"
The Beast managed to free one of his hands, aiming it at the crystal platform and casting a powerful energy blast, which the Skull just barely managed to avoid, skidding to the edge of the platform. With a wave of his hand, his floating Grimiore and Staff cast a counterattack in unison, the book conjuring a spiraling moon-ray fueled by Star magic, and the staff shooting miniature suns at the vile creature.
The fusillade seemed to only anger the monster, and helped it to break the bindings behind itself, even as the Skull hurriedly attempted to brute-force his way through the bindings on the cage enshrouding the Prisma Crystal, directing streams of golden magical power like a conductor directing an orchestra. But it was too late. Sulphur brought its hand down to smash the crystal platform, sending it, the Skull, and everything else falling into the vortex below.
The boy had failed.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The Skull screamed as he fell, arrogance, blinded by his desire for the gem, having come back to bite him it seems. He fumbled around to try to catch his wand, grabbing it, and desperately trying to conjure up a spell.
"Portal. Portal. C'mon! Portal. Anywhere's better than here!" He exclaimed. Above him, the Monster of Ivoire dove down for him. Below, a raging tempest of lightning and uncontained eldritch power threatened to swallow him. The Skull knew he needed to abort, to open a hyperdimensional gate outta here. With a swish and flick of his wand, he tore open a blue swirling sore in reality, and dove in, heedless of what lay beyond when certain death was just inches away from him!
Little did the poor boy know how his true ordeal had not even begun…
BGM: ~Disgaea 5 OST – Poppin' Pink~
watch?v=BsIkMwqvYTM&list=PLDvocklA9vWtZgoQHXuvui4tR8mdLxTGN&index=20
Meanwhile, back at Kimberley's house
"Aww draaaaaaaat!" Sally squealed unhappily, stomping her feet and shaking around at this failure. "Now I gotta redraw the whole thing!"
"Hey, it's better than Kimberley finding this mess, dood. That one went all the way up to the roof! We gotta rinse it off before it sun bakes onto the siding, dood." One of the Prinnies responded, as two of its fellows were fumbling around with a garden hose, attempting to rinse a considerable amount of blood and viscera off of Kimberley's roof and siding.
"Hawwwwww… well… I guess third time's the charm then…" The Mage grumbled, hanging her head low and wiggling her robe-clad arms all about. Sally, you see, had spent the better part of a bright, sunny afternoon scribbling summoning sigils into Kimberley's driveway. Her tools included a bucket of multicolored chalk, a package of candles, and a piece of paper with an instruction sheet printed on that she found on the Nethernet.
As she waited for the driveway to dry off enough that she could construct a replacement circle, the Anti-Messiah slithered his way over to investigate the scene. "Oi! Red! What's all the commotion goin' on around here? Playing geo-panel hopscotch again?"
"Oh? No. I was summoning new recruits for the Adventure Squad, but my summoning circle isn't working! They keep coming up all inside-out like." Sally shrugged.
"Pff! Amateur!" The Clergy cackled. "Lemme see those instructions. Were these printed off of ? Are those birthday cake candles?"
"That's all I had in my kitchen junk drawer! I figured if I blew them all out at once and made a wish it'd work!" Sally replied, in a huff.
"What are ya even trying to summon with this? Best you're gonna get outta this mess is a bipolar house elf or a nerdy gun-obsessed imp." The Clergy retorted.
"I've been trying to summon an Empusa. Or a SUCCUBUS!" Sally responded, going into that little pointy cheer pose Mages do when excited about something. Her enthusiasm was rather infectious, it seemed, as the Healer's pigtails twitched, and his expression brightened. As much of the expression as could be read, of course.
"Sufferin' succotash… SUCCUBUS?! Omigawsh Yes!" The Clergy squeaked in delight, suddenly extremely invested in Sally's scheme. "Okay okay, so… uhm… these dinky lil' candles aren't gonna work. We need something stronger. Road flares should do the trick! Kimberley has some in her garage. Also, make sure to use the PINK chalk for the circle parts and GREEN for the symbols. Not the other way around. Also to make sure we get an actual Succubus, we need… like… uhh… I dunno. Somethin' sexy. Like lingerie or somethin'."
"Here you go, dood!" One of the Prinnies volunteered a pair of Kimberley's britches from off of the clothesline, to be tossed in the center of the sigil.
"Ehh, good as we're gonna get in this town. C'mon, driveway's plenty dry. Let's draw some devilry up in this biznatch!" The Clergy cheered. And with that, he and the Mage began drawing up their best summoning circle ever, with considerable enthusiasm, in titillating anticipation of what is to come. The scratching of chalk and cackling of a naughty healer filled the air, as in short order, a new and hopefully basically functional portal was conjured.
"Hookay, so… if this works, and we get a real Succubus, I need to be the first to talk to her, cuz I'm a doctor! And I'll need to perform… uhh… a medical exam. Yeh!" He lied, making a grabby hands sort of gesture as his overactive imagination went off to exactly where one would expect.
"Nuh uh! I gotta get her first! Cuz I gotta, like, ease her into signing all the super magically binding bondage guild adventure forms!" She huffs. Presumably thinking more or less the same thing as the Clergy.
"Yeah but… I gotta, like, inoculate her for cooties! Can't be havin' an outbreak!" The sketchy healer replied. "Now c'mon. Make with the summoning! Let's get this done before Kimberley comes home and makes us sign a bunch of paperwork or sommat!"
"Kay!" Sally chirped, before raising her toy light-up magical girl baton up over her head and began reading from her 8x11" printer-grade spell scroll. "Ahem… Snee! Sigh! Snuu! Sus! I wanna summon a SUCC-U-BUS!" She proclaimed, tossing a handful of confetti into the center of the sigil.
The chalk symbols began to glow with an arcane energy not of this world. A vortex of power began to manifest within the sigil, swirling upward in a vortex, as a dimensional gate manifested on the tarmac. The Anti-Messiah wisely took a few steps back, putting Sally between himself and the portal, in anticipation of another Gallagher-esque geyser of giblets rocketing out and drenching the local area. The last thing he wanted to do today was to have to take his dress to the dry cleaners to get yet more blood out of it.
But the portal was clearly working, as the ground started shaking, and the magic within began to manifest. And then, a loud 'BOOM!' A bright flash and a cloud of smoke poofed out and obscured the gateway, followed by an audible 'thump' and a groan as something, or rather, someone, landed.
Sally began to cheer since whatever she got was at least mostly still alive and not in liquid form this time. "AWWWW YEAAAAAH! SUCC-U-BUS! SUCC-U-BUS! SUCC…. U…. Bus?!"
As the smoke cleared though, it became obvious that instead of a busty, sexy demon, they had apparently conjured a considerably less sexy magician boy. The Skull having landed headfirst, the summoning rift having neatly placed the 'ears' of his trademark robes through the leg-holes of Kimberley's bloomers. Somehow.
"'That's not a Succubus." The Anti-Messiah stated the obvious as he scooted over to investigate.
"Hawwwww! What the HL? We made, like, a perfect summoning circle this time. That's it! These plans are dumb!" She huffed, incinerating the summoning paper with a snap of her finger.
"Succubus… of course I'm not!" The Skull groaned as he got to his feet, rubbing his throbbing head as he tried to get his bearings. "Who are you and what is this place? Are you demon lords? Is this a major Netherworld? Wait, did you see a big violet gemstone come through that portal with me?!"
"Today's your lucky day! Welcome to Commorragh! Home of exciting sporting events, therapeutic spa treatments, and all the crazy drugs and alcohol we can pump into you! Abandon all hope." The Anti-Messiah lied. Just to mess with the boy, really.
"No, you're nowhere that cool. This is, uhmm… Hell's Half Acre! My name is Sally and I'm, like, the cutest Mage ever!" The Mage beamed, doing a flashy pose as she greeted the Skull.
"And I… uhuhu… I have many names, uttered only by the quivering lips of fearful mortals as they tell cautionary tales of my sin and wickedness to their children in the night..." The healer added.
"Riiiiiight. Wonderful. Did. You. See. The. Prisma. Crystal?" The Skull quickly became annoyed at the presence of what he saw as babbling children. Ironically enough considering his own appearance.
"Nope!" Sally replied.
"Unless it got stuffed up one of your orifices, it ain't here. Probably got yeet'd into some random dimension. Consider yourself lucky you have any skin left after that ride." The Anti-messiah, ever the self-proclaimed expert on spacetime abuse, added.
"GRAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The Skull yelled, grabbing the brim of his robes and pulling them over his face. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH TO FIND THAT THING? HOW LONG MY QUEST HAS TAKEN!"
"Nope! Cuz I've, like, never seen you before!" Sally stuck her tongue out, teasingly at the boy.
"I was this close to recovering it! The key to all of my goals!" The Skull, angrily stomped and vented. Clearly displeased with this turn of events. It was kind of silly to watch considering this was a Skull and all. "How did I end up in this dumpy town of all places anyway? I was at least trying to aim for a decent Netherworld…"
"We were conducting a highly technical magical procedure to conjure a Succubus into the material realm. And whatever the HL you were up to caused you to jump in the way of our portal or something." The Anti-Messiah chirped in response.
"Succubus?" The Skull scoffed. "If you weaklings managed to summon a Succubus, it would bind your minds, suck your souls straight out of your loins, and burn you to ashes in mere minutes!"
"I am fine with this outcome." The Anti-messiah responded, sincerely.
"Mhm! That's, like, kinda the point!" Sally agreed.
The Skull just stared at the duo for a moment and shrugged. Some of the bluster going out of his sail. "Okay… mhm. Sure. Fine. It's not really my business anyway. Now then, could you please point me to a dimensional gate out of here? I still have a quest to complete. I need to find where the Prisma Crystal got sent to."
"Quest? Ooh! Oooh! Quest! We're, like, experts at Quests!" Sally exclaimed, getting a little twinkle in her eye at the mention of someone on a real live quest! "We're the Disgaea Guild Adventure Squad! The Netherworld's best guild ever! We've got, like, a Master Thief and an Archer and an Armor Knight and a Shaman and even a pet Human!"
The Skull blinked a few times, before rubbing his chin. "An Armor Knight and a Shaman? That… honestly doesn't sound like a half-bad operation." He quips. Figuring a few extra bodies could serve as a useful meat-shield fending off various treasure guardians and monsters. "Is there a particularly notable or powerful archdemon who runs it?"
"You're lookin' at her!" Sally beams, jutting her chest out and putting her hands on her hips, proudly. The Skull was… unimpressed by this to say the least, but the magical girl's bubbly enthusiasm was not to be stopped. "Hey! Ari! Get the sign-up sheet! We got a new prospective recruit!"
From out of Sally's cottage across the street, Ari, who had been sitting around watching TV this whole time, floated a few inches off the ground over to the trio. Holding a piece of paper in front of him. Well, not actually holding. The paper just kinda levitated in front of him surrounded by a pink glow. "Here you go."
"Ehehehe! Here, sign right away!" The Mage chirped, as she yoinked the piece of dark assembly letterhead out of Ari's mental grasp and presented it to the Skull.
Any vestiges of interest he had for the Adventure Squad immediately evaporated as he lay eyes upon the paper. It was an official-looking piece of Dark Assembly letterhead, sure. Printed on human-skin vellum with a blood seal from the presiding Overlord… which Sally had promptly decorated with some glitter and macaroni art.
It read: I [NAME:_], Hereby referred to as the SELLER, commission this infernal pact willingly and mutually, with that of [NAME:_Sally_the_Mage], Henceforth known as the BUYER, hereby trade my eternal and immor... *The mage's thumb is blocking this part.* ...l, for the services outlined previously as per prior agreement between the parties to the act.
This document is formally notarized and is to be considered legally and magically binding at the moment that the SELLER's and BUYER's signatures are placed upon it, as per Article 666 of the 20,174,816,819,211th Dark Assembly cabinet's resolution on Infernal Pacts. It remains in effect for the duration of both parties' existence, both physical, metaphysical, spiritual, or otherwise, unless as per mutual agreement between both the SELLER and BUYER, which must be formally overseen by a licensed infernal representative of the Dark Assembly. Alternatively, the agreement may be annulled in the event of... *the mage put some glue and macaroni over this part, obscuring it* ...o be enforced no longer than the natural (biological) life of the SELLER.
This Document has been officially notarized and signed by licenced Dark Assembly representative [NAME:_Kimberley_the_Archer] and is henceforth legally and magically binding upon the signature of both the SELLER and BUYER as mentioned forthwith.
The Skull took one look at the pact and rolled his eyes. "Yeah no. I'm catching the first portal outta here. Enjoy getting swindled out and murdered by whatever random tramp you idiots end up summoning." He spoke, waving his hand dismissively as he snobbishly walked away from the guild.
Alas, it was not to be, as Sally had other ideas. "Pout!" She huffed, puffing her cheeks up at being called names.
"You said 'Pout' out loud." Ari helpfully pointed out.
"Let the dweeb go. He's a putz. C'mon, let's get this circle re-drawn. We can try to use the human kid as a focal point this time. We should get somethin' more interesting at least." The Anti-Messiah spoke, getting back to his chalk drawing.
"How many times per week do we have to try and use me as a sacrifice?" Ari grumbled.
"Like at least three!" The Anti-Messiah responded.
But Sally wasn't about to let the Skull get off that easily. Calling her magical girl staff to her hand, she began to wave it in circles about in front of her, conjuring up a mighty debuff, manifesting as a translucent wave of energy around the end of the staff.
"MIND BREEEAAAAAAAAAAK!" She called out, as loudly as her shrill little lungs could call.
"What the HL do you think you're do- HYEEEEHHHHHHH!" The Skull's brain reacted to the spell much the same as a bag of popcorn reacts to being placed in a microwave. Causing the boy to flop limply onto his face, quivering and spasming about in an unhealthy-looking manner.
"Ehehehe~ Wanna sign my sheet nooooow?" Sally held up her sign in sheet. Side effects of a mind break spell may include amnesia, brain fog, brain tornado, loss of motor and/or bladder control, and a vulnerability to suggestion, making it a valuable spell for getting an involuntary signature out of someone.
The Skull just kind of… lay there. Weakly grunting.
"Wow. Critical hit! You knocked the smugness right outta his mind. Probably all of his cherished memories too." The Anti-Messiah clapped, delighted at the mayhem the Mage can cause when it isn't pointed at him.
"Hey, make him sign my thingy now!" She commanded, setting the paperwork next to the incapacitated boy's hand.
"Okay! Tactical forgery inbound!" The Healer gleefully cackled, pulling a crayon from his secret compartment and placing it in the Skull's limp hand. He picked the Skull's arm up, holding his fingers together, and puppeteering the limp limb to scribble down the word 'SKULL' on the dotted line.
"Uhmm… is that really his real name?" Sally asked.
"I 'unno. Probably not! Doesn't matter, he isn't gonna remember who he is after that, anyway." The Clergy nonchalantly retorted as he finished his writing.
The piece of paper glowed with infernal power, as the act of the signature completed a dark pact. In a flash, the document burst into flame, casting an arcane binding spell between the Skull and Sally. The temperature of the air was felt to increase a few degrees. And a distant, disembodied evil laugh echoed through the neighborhood. "There, done! He's all yours! Just promise to let me use him for clinical trials when you're done with him."
Shortly thereafter, the Skull came to. "What the-… hwah… what happened? Where am I? Heeeey… you two! Why does my head feel like it has a beehive inside of it!? What did you do to me?"
"Good news, Skully ol' boy! Red owns your soul now!" The Anti-Messiah spread his arms and cheered, trying to make this sound like a good thing.
"My soul, wha… what are you talking about?!" The Skull, still dazed, took a few moments to process what was said.
"Mmmh… hey! Jump up and down!" Sally commanded. And, on cue, the Skull proceeded to jump up and down.
"Hwaah…wahhh… wait… no! Legs… moving… without permission! No NO NO THIS CANNOT BE!" The wizard's face was plastered with panic! He tried to fight it, but within a few seconds of resistance, he started doing jumping jacks before the demonic duo.
"BOOM! Faustian pact, beeyotch!" The healer cackled, going into his 'clergy dab' animation.
"Okay! Now… run back and forth over there!" Sally commanded, pointing her staff to Kimberley's fancy decorated mailbox.
"This… this must be a nightmare? Am I dead? Am I in Hell?" The Skull babbled, even as he ran back and forth up the driveway. He stumbled a few times, trying to fight the control. But an official magically binding document by the Dark Assembly is a power even he, lacking any sort of formal legal or notary credentials, is absolutely impotent against.
"Pfff… duuuh! Of course you're in Hell. Where'd you think you were, Detroit? That spell must have really scrambled your brains. Quick, how many fingers am I holding up." The Clergy held up exactly one finger.
"Mwahahahaha!" Sally cackled, eyes absolutely ablaze with the possibilities. So… so many possibilities. With her other adventure squaddies, they're lazy or have the presence of mind to ignore her sillier commands, but this one… oh, she can let her little imagination run wild. Her adorable little face curling into a cute yet wicked grin. If she can't have a Succubus today, she can have the next best thing…
"Okay, so… now my command for you, iiiiis… tooo… KISS THAT CLERGY!"
"Excuse me youwanthimtokisswhonow- *smooch* MMMPH!" The Anti-Messiah squeaked and proceeded to flail his arms about to either side, as the Skull practically tackled him, placing his hands on the healer's exposed shoulders, and locking his lips with his, much to the Mage girl's unbridled delight.
The Skull's mind was racing right now. His body was not his to control! He was forced to kiss… this effeminate dumbass. And yet… and yet, what scared him most out of the whole affair, what scared the boy who had deliberately kept himself distant from all others, took a demeaning attitude to those around him, all as a survival tactic to avoid the influence of his foes…
Is that he was really, really starting to enjoy this part.
After about a minute or so, the two of them gently broke the kiss. And just kinda… stood there. Awkwardly. The Skull rubbed the back of his head as the Clergy twiddled his fingers and turned his head off to the side. Both of them were extremely red in the face and very confused as to how to react to this.
"Okay. Wow." The healer responded. Not even able to bring himself to a snarky comeback after that.
"I… haa… p… please. Whatever you do. Tell. No one. Of this." The Skull responded, trying to sound tough, but really, the jerkish façade was starting to crack.
"Don't worry. Nobody reads my MaceBook account anyway, nyao~"
There was a short silence.
The Skull's neck made an alarming creaking noise as It slooooowly turned to notice a quartet consisting of an Archer, an Armor Knight, a Fairy, and a Thief who had apparently watched the whole scene. The last of whom had recorded the whole thing on her diePhone.
The Skull turned a monochrome color and had an absolutely mortified expression on his face. As did the Clergy.
"Mmmmh, and here I thought I would be the one who would have a fairytale romance subplot after joining this guild, ohohoho. It seems like even in the darkest reaches, an unlikely love can bloom!" Violet winked.
"Oh my evilness, well! I must admit, the two of them do make a rather cute couple." Kimberley added, smiling awkwardly as she witnessed the scene.
"Hey! How do I get, like, a boyfriend to give ME kisses too! Do I have to do a special dance?" Robin asked, tilting her tiny head to one side as she fluttered about.
"Yep. It's the kind of dance you see in nightclubs a lot, nyao." Momoko teased.
"Robin, no. Robin. No." Ari, who had just emotionlessly been watching the whole affair, spoke up, scolding the fairy like a cat, wanting to head that one off at the pass…
"Mwahahaha! This summoning ritual turned out great! We're gonna have so much fun together, Mr. Skull! Soooo much fuuuuun!" Sally teased, with a sugar-coated voice just dripping with caramelized malice.
"…ooooh… Lucifer. Please. Just… End me!" The Skull hid his face under the hood of his cloak. Absolutely horrified at the wonderful new world he's found himself roped into.
BGM: ~Metroid Prime 2 Echoes OST - Dark Samus Approaching~
/nKhGqh8FKTo
Elsewhere...
As the unfortunate Skull lamented his fate, another unseen eye gazed upon the scene. The same mysterious drone from the other day was hidden in the undergrowth off to the side, its lens zooming in to investigate the new arrival.
"My my. And look who, of all people, was dragged into this little coven..." The suave and refined voice of a certain Demon broke the quiet mechanical hum in the dark room, lit only by the peculiar arrangement of LCD screens and indicator lights. A dark and foreboding technological crypt.
"Who exactly? How are they relevant?" Another voice spoke, a spectral haunting echo filtered and distorted to sound like no human or demon tongue. Sounding like the voice of a ghost in the machine…
"Why none other than that particular Wizard boy that has been giving Lady Elanor so much trouble. Seems he survived his encounter with Sulphur and has made his way into the embrace of the band of demons surrounding your… prize." The tall, dashing demon, who wore a long red cloak with exaggerated shoulders and rows of arrowhead-shaped decorations down the front of him, responded, pacing back and forth as he spoke, with his white gloved hands clasped behind his back. "He is also the one who sought the Amethyst of Perseverance."
"What of it?" The mysterious voice in the background asked.
"The Crystal was lost in the scuffle with its guardian. Cast unto another realm. With time, I suspect the wizard boy will lead the rest of these petty Demons in searching for it. Once he recovers it, we can make our move and have both objectives in our hands-" The tall Demon spoke, before being cut off.
"No. We will not wait. I require the asset back in my possession as soon as possible. Before more Demons rally around it. We must expedite the plan and move immediately." The background voice commanded. Much to the chagrin of the demon, who ceased his pacing and shrugged.
"Rushing headlong into things will show our hand too soon. You remember our deal-" The Demon replied, but was again cut off.
"The deal remains. I recover my asset, then you receive your reward. The Crystal can be recovered at our convenience after the primary task is dealt with." The voice responded, coldly.
"Very well. In that case, my suggestion is to prepare your champion to deploy when these Demons are separated. The Archer and Clergy are strong, the others seem to be relative weaklings. If we can strike while they cannot support one another, the asset can be recovered quite easily…" The Demon nodded.
"Good. My weapon will be awoken in due course. It. Will see the matter settled. Once I have my prize, you will have your reward… Lunaris."
Chapter 7 - END
BGM: ~Freelancer OST – Awe and Wonderment~
watch?v=vkSKuhw8kUY&list=PLA34D2877DA328CBF&index=48
NEXT EPISODE!
Lori: "In the deep space of the Sirius Sector, a lone Pilot, Edison "Skully" Trent, is on a routine job!"
Skull: "That's not even my real name! My name is Co-"
Lori: "While trying to sell his wares, the station he's on is attacked by mysterious vessels!"
*Out in space, in the Sigma-17 system, three Descos decloak and fire a barrage of purple energy torpedoes at a space station, causing it to explode, with a single escape pod flying by the camera.*
Lori: "With his ship, his money, his quest, and everything he had in life blown apart, Skully Trent has to start from scratch!"
*The Skull, dressed in a brown jacket and jeans, steps off of a rescue ship, and shambles into a nearby bar.*
Skull: "Sidewinder Fang, please."
Murasaki, dressed as a bartender: "All we have is Toto-bunny carrot schnapps, my friend."
Lori: "By sheer happenstance, our hero gets his big break, signing up as a freelance pilot working with the Netherliberty Security Force."
Vio'let Zane: "You, random dubiously qualified civilian, will work for us, catching dangerous criminals for money, in exchange for a cheap ship."
Skull: "Uhh… okay sure. I guess I can't advance the plot if I say 'no'."
Lori: "During his adventures, he'll meet a colorful cast of characters…"
*Skully's Starflier hovers in space next to an LSF Patriot*
Ari King: "I'm a cowboy cop who makes a lot of wise cracks. Also I'm bald."
Lori: "But a shadowy force looms over the proceedings. A dangerous terrorist group is lashing out. But are they really as evil as they say?"
Skull: "Who steals an entire experimental stealth battleship and gets away with it?!"
Anti-Messiah: "I do, Mr Skull! My name is Clergy Orillion!"
*Cut to the scene in a deep space prison station, where a Desco Octorabbit is about to pounce the Skull and Violet, before a laser blast from off screen shoots it down.*
President Kimberli: "Burn you son of a… of a… ne'er-do-well!"
Lori: "Next time, on Disgaealancer. We turn the Skull's tinker toy into a weapon! See you soon!"
Trent: "Well, it can't get any worse…"