Author's Notes: Well, this weird crazy little fic continues. I fear I'm updating my PPG stories too fast and I'm going to burn out soon, but for the moment I've been enjoying the ride and I hope you guys have too. Thank you all for reading :)
Chapter 2
We Got Her
"Alright, roll over! Come on, roll over!" Billy shouted encouragingly as he held up a potato chip.
Billy and the little girl were outside the shack hanging around the dump, and Billy was trying to teach his new 'pet' a few tricks. She just glared up at him without moving, and he shook the bag to try to coax her into doing what he wanted.
"You can do it! Roll over!" Billy called out again, not willing to give up just yet.
The little girl looked up at him disapprovingly for another moment, and then finally sighed longsufferingly and spun around in place; hoping he wouldn't know the difference. At this point she was getting pretty hungry.
"That a girl!" Billy cheered for her before handing her a potato chip.
The kid took the chip and looked at it suspiciously before eating it. She then looked up to make sure Big Billy hadn't walked any closer. She hated his bad habit of picking her up off the ground.
"Okay, now sit! Come on, you can do it," Billy commanded.
Inside the shack Arturo, Snake, and Grubber were observing from the window as Billy 'trained' the little girl; not entirely sure who looked like the bigger fool.
"I gotta be honest man, this is kinda hard to watch," Arturo commented, "We gotta get rid of this kid, and fast."
"On the bright side, that'ss the ssslowesst I've ever ssseen Billy eat chipss," Snake remarked.
"Hm...boys, it looks like our problems are about to be over," Ace declared from where he was sitting on the floor sorting through various items, "I dumped out the kid's backpack and I got some info. Accordin' to this crayon drawing, the girl's name is Marny, and she's 7 years old."
"What kind of a name isss Marny?" Snake asked critically.
"Pfft!" Grubber observed.
"Yeah, I guesss that'ss fair," Snake shrugged.
"Dat ain't the point," Ace recalled their attention, "The kid has a diary, and on the inside cover there's a phone number. Guys, we might've just saved ourselves a trip to Kinko's."
"So we just call the number, talk to her parents, send her back, and get the reward?" Arturo asked for clarification.
"Exactly," Ace replied with a satisfied smirk, "Grubber, you watch Billy and the kid. Arturo, Snake, yer with me."
The gang then split up, with team A going to find a payphone to call the number and team B (Grubber) staying behind so Billy didn't accidentally hurt the girl. Grubber didn't want to be too obvious, so he hid inside a rusted out car to observe the duo as they played.
Billy meanwhile had run out of both chips and things he wanted to teach his new pet, so he rubbed his chin and tried to think of what they should do next. The girl looked around to see if she could make a run for it, but then noticed Grubber's bulging eyes peeking out of a car's dashboard and thought better of it.
"Ah, Billy know what you need now!" Billy exclaimed, "Fluffy needs a new bed!"
"Pfft?" Grubber asked, but then realized he just blew his cover and facepalmed.
"Dah, Fluffy is her new name," Billy told Grubber, not concerned that his friend was hiding in a car, "Because of her fluffy pigtails."
The kid just sighed like even she knew this situation was getting weird.
"Pfftpft?" Grubber asked.
"Huh...I dunno," Billy shrugged, "What's a good bed for a little girl?"
"Pfft," Grubber suggested.
"Dah, I don't think we got one of those," Billy replied, "Oh wait! Billy saw something just the other day!"
Billy then ran off to find the piece of trashed furniture he had seen before, and Grubber got out of the car so he could keep a closer eye on the kid. The girl of course was terrified of Grubber and hid her eyes behind her hands as if that would keep the monster from seeing her. Grubber would've pulled her hair or something if he wasn't worried about her running off and Ace getting mad at him.
A moment later Billy came back carrying a dirty white lace bassinet. It was moth eaten and crooked from being roughly handled by the trash men, but it was technically big enough to hold the girl's size and weight.
"Do you like it, Fluffy?" Billy asked hopefully.
The girl looked nervously from the awful bed up to Billy's smiling face, and reluctantly nodded. Better to not upset the freakishly strong green giant. Billy picked her up with one hand, and she sighed sharply at yet another round of indignity. Grubber could tell that this kid was only a few more incidents away from snapping.
Meanwhile, at a phone booth, Ace stuck a quarter into the slot and pulled it out with a string, only to find the string had untied itself and the quarter really went into the machine.
"Aw, nuts!" Ace groused, "Eh, whatever. Just be quiet yous two while I do all the talkin'."
The line rang and a moment later the voice of an older woman answered. Ace cleared his throat and did his best to sound casual.
"Yo, is this Marny's ma?" Ace asked.
"This is Marny's grandmother," The woman replied immediately, "To whom am I speaking? Have you seen Marny? Is she okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, she's fine. We got yer granddaughter," Ace replied coolly.
"Who is this?" The grandmother asked.
"This is Ace of the Gangreen Gang," Ace replied.
"Gangreen Gang?" The woman asked in shock.
"Dat's right, and I'm callin' to say we got Marny," Ace told her, "We'll give her back since we don't feel like foolin' with her. Of course ya better hurry since my pal Big Billy can get a little reckless when he's around things smaller than him. I'm sure you know what I mean. I still remember when he sat on dat goldfish. I don't even know how he did it, but there was fish guts all over his butt. It was hilarious!"
"What are you saying?" Marny's grandmother asked worriedly.
"I'm sayin' if ya want Marny back then hurry up and get her," Ace reiterated, "Oh, and if ya feel like givin' us some money for our trouble, we'd appreciate it. Thanks."
Ace then hung up the phone and turned back to his cohorts.
"Well that was easy," Ace commented, "Who wants to get some tacos on the way home?"
Back at the shack, Billy was rocking the bassinet back and forth with the little girl hanging on for dear life since he was rocking it too hard and too fast. Grubber had gone off to scavenge in the dump, so that left the two alone again.
"Hey, do you wanna hear a story?" Billy suddenly asked Marny.
The little girl just held her mouth to keep from succumbing to motion sickness now that the infernal rocking had stopped.
"Billy knows great stories," Billy tried to convince her, "You sure you don't wanna hear one?"
Marny managed to swallow down the sick feeling, and then looked up miserably at Billy. She hadn't even really heard what he said since she was so absorbed in her own discomfort.
"Okay, I'll tell one," Billy said happily, and then found an old ratty blanket to cover Marny in, "Once upon a time, in a land far away from here, there was a princess that had to pee, but she was stuck on top of a bunch of giant mattresses, so she turned into a frog and the queen got mad at her. Then it rained, and melted all the witches. With the kingdom safe, the three little pigs were able to tear down houses as they pleased. Then there was a big dance party. The end!"
Marny just blinked at Billy, unable to understand what the heck he just told her. Billy of course was ignorant to her silent feedback and went back to rocking the old bassinet, which led to more motion sickness for Marny. She was saved from being shaken and stirred when Grubber finally came back into the shack to show Billy what he'd found.
"What is that, Grubber?" Billy asked uncomprehendingly.
"Pfft pfft pbt, bfft, pfft prrft," Grubber explained.
"Sa-te-lite mini television?" Billy repeated slowly, "But we no have a way to plug in a TV."
"Pfft pfft pfbt," Grubber further explained.
"Oh, that's cool," Billy nodded approvingly, "So it only shows black and white, huh? Neat."
Marny by this time was standing up in her makeshift bed and looking at the two teenage gangsters. They were playing with the handheld TV, so she felt like this was her chance to escape. She hopped out of the bassinet and snuck over to where her stuff was in her backpack. She had to scoop a few things back in, but neither boy saw her. She tiptoed to the door, but then saw in the window that the other three Gangreen Gang members were coming back, so she ran back to the bassinet in hopes that they wouldn't notice she tried to leave.
"Yo, guys! We brought back burritos," Ace announced as he held up a greasy bag, "Three for each of yous."
"Oh boy!" Billy exclaimed happily, "Hey wait, you didn't get any for Fluffy."
"Fluffy?" Snake asked in distaste, "You mean the kid?"
"Uh, yeah," Billy nodded, "What about Fluffy?"
"Forget it. We called her folks," Ace waved away his concern, "The grandma said she'd be by to pick her up. So, she can eat at home."
Marny gasped at the news, and ducked into the bassinet to start biting her nails. She looked back at the gang, and they were eating tacos and burritos and playing with the tiny TV Grubber found.
"I hope this thing gets the game show network," Arturo commented as they played with the antennae.
"Yeah, and Sssports Cccenter," Snake added.
"Ooh, ooh, hang on! I think we got it!" Ace shouted as everybody froze.
The picture was fuzzy and in black and white, but they could definitely see the Townsville News Network. The gang was going to cheer their victory at first, but then they saw their own mugshots on the screen and knew this couldn't be good.
"...The notorious Gangreen Gang, as shown in these photos," The news anchor droned on, "The kidnappers were vague in their demands, but it is clear that vital harm will befall poor little Marny Milford if something is not done soon. Mrs. Moreen Milford, grandmother of Marny Milford, was quoted as saying 'My granddaughter has been missing for three days. She is a good and innocent little girl, and she does not deserve to be hurt by these monstrous thugs'. Back to you, Jim."
Grubber turned off the TV, and the gang stood around it in stunned silence for a moment. Finally though, Snake broke the tension.
"Kidnappersss?"
"Figures," Ace sighed, "Dat stupid old broad thinks we was demandin' ransom money!"
"So, what do we do now, Ace?" Arturo inquired.
"Well clearly we take the kid back before this gets outta hand," Ace replied nervously, "Okay, an address. Everybody search her bag for an address."
Ace went over to where the kid's backpack had been, only to see it wasn't there. He turned to the bassinet, and saw the little girl was hugging her backpack and looking up at him owlishly.
"Okay kid, gimme the bag," Ace demanded, but she didn't budge, "Dis ain't funny, ya little brat. Gimme the bag, or I'm gonna let Grubber sit on yer face and fart."
The kid grimaced and then handed the backpack over to Ace as instructed. Ace then looked through every item she had in there, from granola wrappers to drawings to toys, but he couldn't find anything that indicated her address.
"Alright then, Marny," Ace said as nicely as he could manage, "Dis is important now. Tell us where yer house is. If you give us an address, then we can take you home safe and sound. You wanna go home, don't you? Well we can do that for you. All you gotta do is tell us yer address. Easy enough, right? So...? What is it?"
Marny stared up at him, but she didn't say a word. Ace was really starting to lose his patience with this kid, and he knew they were running out of time. Everybody knew where the gang lived, and if the cops got involved he and his boys could be in serious trouble.
"Look ya little twerp, either you tell me where you live or I'll slap the freckles right offa ya!" Ace yelled furiously.
Marny cringed into herself, but she still didn't say anything.
"Hey, you can't do that!" Billy protested, "You said you wouldn't help me take care of her, so you can't do nothing! She's my baby and I get to take care of her!"
"She ain't yer baby, stupid!" Ace snapped, "She's a kid that everyone thinks we kidnapped! If she doesn't tell us where she lives then we could all get shot by a bunch of angry cops!"
"Maybe she's mute," Arturo suggested.
"Or mentally challenged," Snake guessed.
"Pfft," Grubber added.
"Who cares what she is?" Ace roared, "She's gonna get us all killed! We gotta get this kid outta here! Let's just take her to a McDonald's parkin' lot or somethin'. That way she's somebody else's problem. Come on!"
The gang ran a few steps outside with Marny, but then noticed there were cop cars surrounding the dump, and a news crew filming the scene. Before they could be noticed the gang ran back inside with the little girl and slammed the door.
"Okay, dat plan's out," Ace muttered as he pressed his back against the door, "So, now what?"
"Billy need to brush Fluffly's hair for bed," Billy said obliviously.
"Oi," Ace groaned, "Okay, so we're kidnappers. Might as well play it up I guess. Maybe we can actually get some money outta this."
"How are we supposed to do that?" Arturo asked skeptically.
"Hm...anybody know where we put that megaphone?" Ace asked.