The Potter Twins and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Chapter 1: Buses, Dursley's and Fudge, Oh My!
It is pitch black, until we see what seems to be a small glow before it dims out. Then, the glow emits again, only bigger and revealing itself to be from a window, and then dims out. During all the while, a dog was heard barking. The glow from the window emits again and dims away, The scenery is seen from the darkness and the glow emits again, revealing to be Privet Drive and the glow is coming from Harry and Michael's bedroom and 4 Privet Drive.
Harry, "Lumos Maxima."
It's revealed that Harry and Michael are under their bed covers, and the glow is so bright that it lights up the room.
Michael, "Lumos Maxima."
They cast the spell again, which is the Lumos Maxima. Until they hear a toilet flushing and immediately pretend to go back to sleep just as their Uncle Vernon opens the door and turns on the light. He looks around in confusion before he turns off the light and closes the door and heads back to his bedroom. With him gone, Harry and Michael go back to what they were doing.
Harry, "Lumos Maxima"
They are learning the Lumos Maxima from a book.
Michael, "Lumos Maxima."
Harry and Michael, "Lumos Maxima!"
A huge light brightens up the entire room!
As soon as Harry and Michael hear Vernon coming from his bedroom, they immediately return to feigning sleep just as Vernon opens the door and turns on the light. He looks around suspiciously just before he turns off the light and closes the door. Harry and Michael look at the door and then smile to themselves before they really go to sleep….
….
For the past week or so, Michael and Harry had been trying to get Uncle Vernon to sign letters that would allow them to head to a town outside of Hogwarts, known as Hogsmeade. Even Petunia had tried being subtle about getting Vernon to sign it.
He said he would only sign them if a certain visit went well…. A visit from Aunt Marge. And believe it or not…. She was worse than Vernon and Dudley!
A doorbell ringing sound is heard multiple times.
Aunt Marge, "open the door!"
Harry opens the front door as Michael stands behind him. It is raining outside and Aunt Marge exhales as she brings her umbrella down and gives it to Harry. She passes the foyer into the kitchen where Aunt Petunia stands waiting. Aunt Marge's pet bulldog Ripper is on a leash. Aunt Marge and Aunt Petunia exchange greetings as Ripper lifts up on his hind legs at Aunt Petunia. Harry and Michael stand with Uncle Vernon in the foyer, where Harry unfolds a small parchment while Uncle Vernon takes off his car coat.
Harry, "Uncle Vernon, can you please sign this form now?"
Vernon, "what is it again?"
Michael, "school stuff, remember?"
Vernon, "I told you, later, if you behave."
Harry, "we will if she does."
Michael, "as long as she keeps her dog away from Fleet."
Fleet pokes his head out of Michael's scarf before seeing the dog and hiding once more.
Aunt Marge, "oh, you're both still here, are you?"
Harry, "yes."
Aunt Marge, "don't say 'yes' in that ungrateful way."
She hands Ripper's leash over to Petunia.
Aunt Marge, "damn good of my brother to keep you."
She goes to Vernon to say something to him.
Aunt Marge, "they'd have been straight to an orphanage if they'd been dumped on my doorstep, Vernon."
She then catches sight of Fleet and shrieks.
Vernon growls, "put that thing back in your room, or I'll feed it to that dog!"
Michael nods before he goes upstairs, puts Fleet on his bed, and soon comes back down.
Laughter is heard nearby. Hearing that, Aunt Marge looks delighted. She walks up to the couch, where the laughter has come from Dudley, who is watching TV and eating snacks.
Michael muttered, "if we had been left on HER doorstep, I would have gladly gone to an orphanage."
Aunt Marge, "is that my Dudders? Is that my little neffy-pooh? Come and say hello to your Auntie Marge."
Marge flashes a thick fan of cash. Dudley blinks, waddles forward, and extends his plump palm obediently. Harry and Michael look on, then see Ripper snuffling about their ankles.
….
As Harry and Michael clear the dishes, Uncle Vernon brings out a bottle of brandy.
Aunt Marge, "just a small one. A bit more…. A bit more…. That's the boy", she takes a sloppy sip, "aah. Excellent nosh, Petunia. It's normally just a fry-up for me, what with twelve dogs."
She smacks her lips, lowers her brandy, and lets Ripper take a slobbery lap out of the glass…. Then catches Harry and Michael looking.
Aunt Marge, "what are you smirking at! Where is it that you send them, Vernon?"
Vernon, "St. Brutus's. It's a first-rate institution for hopeless cases."
Hearing this, Harry and Michael frown and glance at Uncle Vernon, who glares darkly at them.
Aunt Marge, "I see. And do they use the cane at St. Brutus's, boy's?"
Harry, "oh, yes. We've been beaten loads of times."
Michael, "usually with a reed or a whip."
Aunt Marge, "excellent. I won't have this namby-pamby wishy-washy nonsense about not hitting people who deserve it", another sip, "still. Mustn't blame yourself for how these two turned out, Vernon. It all comes down to blood. Bad blood will out. What is it the boy's father did, Petunia?"
Petunia, "nothing. That is…. He didn't work. He was…. Um... A stay at home father, looking after them both."
The twins apperciated her words.
Aunt Marge, "of course. Unemployed. And a drunk, I expect-"
Harry, "that's a lie!"
Aunt Marge pauses on her wine, eyes narrowing on Harry and Michael.
Aunt Marge, "what did you say?"
Michael, "our dad wasn't a drunk!"
POP!
The glass in Aunt Marge's hand explodes.
Petunia, "oh my goodness! Marge!"
Aunt Marge, "not to worry, Petunia. I have a very firm grip."
Harry and Michael at the shattered glass in surprise and then glance at one another.
Vernon, "boy's, go to bed. Now."
Aunt Marge, "quiet, Vernon. It doesn't matter about the father. In the end it comes down to the mother. You see it all the time with dogs. If there's something wrong with the bitch, there'll be something wrong with the pup-"
Michael and Harry both yell, "SHUT UP!"
Michael continued on to say, "our mother was the kindest person to ever live! And don't you DARE mock her good name!"
Even Petunia was tightly clenching the napkin she had in her lap while feining a calm look.
Aunt Marge starts to reply, not the least bit remorseful, when….
POP!
A button on her dress sails into the air. The seams of her outfit groan as thread begins to snap! Aunt Marge's eyes widened. Her cheeks billow. Her whole body bullies. And she begins to inflate like a monstrous balloon.
Vernon, "Marge!"
As she rises, Uncle Vernon leaps for her. Ripper growls and fixes his teeth to his trousers. Harry and Michael, frightened by what they've done, watch Aunt Marge bounce gently across the ceiling and into the conservatory!
The others race outside. As Aunt Marge begins to float away, Uncle Vernon grips her hands.
Vernon, "don't worry! I've got you…."
Slowly, to his horror, Uncle Vernon himself begins to rise. Aunt Marge looks fearfully into his eyes….
Aunt Marge, "Vernon. Don't you dare-"
But he does. He lets go, falls to his knees, and watches Aunt Marge float away.
….
Harry and Michael crash inside their room, take their trunks, then Harry puts his heel to a loose floorboard and removes his wand from its hiding place. He gave Michael his wand right after. Fleet ran and sat on Michael's shoulder. Turning, Harry grabs the photo of their parents.
….
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Harry tows the trunk down the stairs and finds Uncle Vernon waiting for him.
Michael soon comes down behind Harry.
Vernon, "YOU BRING HER BACK! YOU BRING HER BACK AND PUT HER RIGHT!"
Harry, "no! She deserved what she got!"
Michael, "and you…. You keep away from us."
Uncle Vernon eyes their wands nervously, then grins with knowing cruelty.
Vernon, "you're not allowed to do magic out of school. They won't have you now. You've got nowhere to go."
Harry and Michael realize it's true. They briefly falter.
Then:
Harry, "anywhere's better than here."
Michael, "even under a bridge."
The two share a look of apology with Petunia for but a moment.
The boys rave out with their belongings and storm out into the street.
As Harry and Michael storm away with their trunks, we see, high in the sky, a plump dot rises.
Aunt Marge….
Harry and Michael walk and walk and walk, then…. Stop. They glance about. An empty playground sits nearby. Swings creaking gently on rusted chains. A tiny carousel, kissed gently by the wind, turning slowly.
They drop their trunks and sit. Deep in the night, an alarm shrieks and goes silent. Michael abd Harry, still as statues, listen. In the trees above, leaves tremble. The wind gathers. They turn and study the swaying swings, the carousel. Then, they feel something…. Off…. They turn back, sensing something in the shadows across the street, and rise to their feet. They slowly draw their wands. Then they see…. It. Something BIG. Darker than the shadows which conceal it. Something with wide, gleaming eyes.
They step back. Afraid to look. Afraid not to. Wands outstretched…. They trip and tumble over the forgotten trunks. The tip of their wands blaze.
BANG!
Twin beams of blinding light spear the night.
Harry and Michael yell in shock as giant wheels bear down. The twins roll clear - just as a preposterously purple, triple-decker bus screeches to a halt. Gold letters glimmer above the windscreen: The Knight Bus.
The doors to the bus open as we see an 18-year-old boy in a wrinkled conductor's uniform, pasty face, and raccoon eyes, as if he hasn't seen the sun in years.
He says, "welcome to the Knight Bus. Emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor this evening…. Wha' choo doin' down there?"
Harry, "fell over."
Stan, "wha' choo fall over for?"
Michael, "we didn't do it on purpose!"
Stan eyes them suspiciously and nods slowly.
Stan, "well, come on then. Let's not wait for the grass to grow."
As Stan grabs the trunks, the boy's peer into the shadows across the street, now simply shadows, and climb aboard.
No seats. Only beds. The brass frames need a shine, the lines a wash. In one bed, a disheveled wizard grunts and turns over in his sleep.
He mutters, "not now…. I'm pickling slugs…."
Behind the wheel, Ernie, an unshaven wizard in thick glasses, stares straight ahead, armpits stained with sweat. A shrunken head dangles from the rearview mirror, muttering incessantly through the stitches that lace its mouth.
Stan, "take 'er away, Ern."
The head yells, "yeah, take it away Ernie! This is gonna be a bumpy ride! HAHAHA!"
BANG!
Ernie rockets away and the beds, as one, slide six inches to the rear. Harry and Michael drop onto the bed nearest, peer up at the chandelier swaying directly above their heads. Beyond the windscreen oncoming traffic ships past in a blur.
Stan, "wot you say your names were again?"
Harry, "we didn't."
Michael, "we were more concerned about the magic bus!"
Stan, huddled in an armchair, peeks over The Daily Prophet, eyes the boy's coolly, before disappearing once more. Harry brushes the fringe of his hair over his scar as Michael pets a very frightened Fleet.
They watch as an ambulance, siren wailing, careens past.
Stan, "whereabouts you headin'?"
Harry hesitates. He hadn't thought about this.
Michael seems to think of something and says, "the Leaky Cauldron. That's in London-"
Stan grins, "is it now? Get that, Ern? The Leaky Cauldron. That's in London."
The head says, "ooh, the Leaky Cauldron! Stay away from the pea soup!"
As the Shrunken Head cackled with delight, Harry and Michael peer out the windscreen, watching London careering by.
Harry, "isn't this a bit…. Dangerous?"
Stan, "naah. Haven't had an accident in…. What? A week is it, Ern?"
The Head suddenly yells, "heads up! Little old lady at twelve o'clock!"
Sure enough, directly ahead, a little old lady is crossing the street. Ernie hits the brakes hard and Harry flies forward, palms to the window. The brakes pinch down, the bus stops inches from the old lady, and Harry flies back onto his bed.
Michael managed to hold onto the end when they braked.
BANG!
The bus rockets forward once more as soon as the old lady is past.
As Harry and Michael right themselves, they notice the headline of Stan's Daily Prophet: ESCAPE FROM AZKABAN! Below, a sunken-faced man with long, matted hair glowers from a moving photo.
Harry, "who is that? That man?"
Michael, "the one on your newspaper."
Stan, "who is that? That's Sirius Black, that is. Don' tell me you ne'er been hearin' o' Sirius Black?"
Harry shakes his head, still staring at the man's face.
Michael, "can't say that we have."
Stan, "he's a murderer, he is. Got 'imself locked up in Azkaban for it."
Harry and Michael remembered Askaban. A prison for wizards.
Harry, "how'd he escape?"
Stan, "tha's the question, isn't it? He's the firs' that's done it. Gives me the collywobbles thinking he's out there, though, I'll tell you that. Big supporter of You-Know-'Oo, Black was. Reckon you heard o' him?"
Harry and Michael nods and, as they do, Black's eyes shift and meet theirs.
Harry, "yeah. Him we've heard of."
Michael, "way too much."
Just then, a pair of double-decker buses sweep directly toward the Knight Bus. Before Harry and Michael can scream, the entire Knight Bus squeezes down and shoots the gap between the two onrushing buses.
The Shrunken Head winces and says, "hate that."
Michael, "this bus. Don't the Muggles ever…?"
Stan, "them! Don' listen properly, do they? Don' look properly either. Never notice nuffink, they don'. They wouldn't notice us if we was an Egyptian belly dancer named Mileena!"
Just then, a couple walking a dog are engulfed by a rush of wind as the, (invisible), Knight Bus whooshes past. The couple glances about in bewilderment. The dog yaps madly.
The head yells, "turn! Turn!"
Ernie fans the wheel, sending the Knight Bus into a dizzying 360-degree turn. Headlights pinwheel past the windows as the bus rides up on two wheels and Michael is sent flying this time. Grabbing fast to the center pole, he pirouettes through the air when Ernie slams on the brakes.
The Knight Bus fishtails and squeals to a stop, centimeters from a parked car.
WHOOSH!
The bus settles and….
TINK!
Taps the bumper. Instantly, the car's alarm wails. The chandelier sways drunkenly as the bus doors open. The steps groan with heavy feet and a figure appears:
Tom, Innkeeper of the Leaky Cauldron pub.
Tom, "Mr. and Mr. Potter…. At last."
As the Knight Bus rockets off, Michael and Harry glances up and the sign above: The Leaky Cauldron. Tom drags Harry and Michael's trunks inside, then pauses and, with a flick of his wand, silences the car alarm.
The twins trail Tom through the quiet room. The bartender glances up, his gaze lingering perhaps a bit too long. A solitary wizard reads a book while, at his elbow, his coffee cup stirs itself. Tom leads the boys upstairs. As they follow Tom inside, they find Hedwig perched atop a chair.
Harry, "Hedwig!"
Michael, "there's the old girl."
Tom, "right smart bird you've got there, Mr. and Mr. Potter. Arrived only minutes before you two."
A man clears his throat. The boy's turn and finds a pinstriped Cornelius Fudge at the window, staring at the ghostly shadows beyond. Harry and Michael's reflections shiver in the glass, but the man doesn't turn. Tom takes a position against the wall, fishes a pair of walnuts from his pocket and crushes the shells between his palms.
Fudge, "I should tell you, Potter's, earlier this evening your uncle's sister was located just south of Sheffield, circling a chimney stack. The Accidental Magic Reversal Department was dispatched and she's been properly punctured and her memory modified. She has no recollection of the incident whatsoever."
Harry and Michael wait as if they were condemned men. Then Fudge turns.
Fudge, "so that's that, and no harm done. Pea soup?"
Michael remembers what the shrunken head said and keeps himself away from the soup, just in case.
The boys glance warily from the steaming tureen of green to Tom, who works a grimy thumb into his gum and frees a walnut sliver.
Harry, "no thank you. Minister…. We don't understand. We broke the law."
Michael, "yeah. Underage wizards aren't allowed to use magic at home."
Fudge, "oh, come now, Harry, Michael. The Ministry doesn't send people to Azkaban for blowing up their aunts! On the other hand…. Running away like that…. Given the state of things…. Very, very irresponsible."
Michael, "excuse us…. What?"
Harry, "'the state of things' sir?"
Fudge, "we have a killer on the loose."
Harry, "Sirius Black, you mean. But…."
Michael, "what's that got to do with us?"
CRACK!
Tom shatters another walnut. Fudge smiles nervously.
Fudge, "hm? Oh, nothing. You're safe, that's what matters. Tomorrow you'll be on your way to Hogwarts. These are your new schoolbooks. I took the liberty of having them brought here for you."
Harry and Michael eye the stack of books. One is bound by a rope.
Fudge, "by the way, boy's. Whilst you're here it would be best if you didn't…. Wander."
….
Through the window, we see the rooftops of London. A train passes and we see Michael and Harry, standing with Hedwig and Fleet. They turn and eye their school books. They study the Growling Tome: The Monster Book of Monsters, pick up Harry's, then give the rope a tug. Instantly…. The book leaps to the floor, pages flying, book covers snapping. Harry gives chase, then the book turns and begins nipping viciously at his shoes. Michael jumpz onto a chair with Fleet. Harry vaults atop the bed, watches the book disappear underneath, then grabs a pillow.
Seconds later, the book scuttles into view and Harry pounces!
FLUMPH!
The book roars angrily, muffled beneath the pillow. Harry takes the rope and prepares to rebind it.
Michael says, "why do I get the feeling that Hagrid would love that thing?"
….
A young witch in maid's robes pushes a cart down the hall. Harry and Michael exit their room as the witch knocks on a door.
She says, "housekeeping."
As she opens the door, she's greeted by a thunderous roar and a rush of wind.
The witch, unperturbed, says, "I'll come back later."
Something small and fast dashes by their feet. Looking, they spy a rather ragged-looking rat, Scabbers, pursued by a decidedly ugly orange cat, Crookshanks. Fleet seems to shy away from Scabbers as he sits on Michael's shoulder.
As they move down the stairs, voices come from below.
Ron, "I'm warning you, Hermione! Keep that bloody beast of yours away from Scabbers or I'll turn it into a tea cozy!"
Hermione, "he's a cat, Ronald! What do you expect? It's in his nature."
As the twins reach the bottom, they find Ron protectively cradling Scabbers, while Hermione does her best to restrain a hissing Crookshanks.
Ron, "a cat! Is that what they told you? Looks more like a pig with hair if you ask me!"
Hermione, "that's rich coming from the owner of that smelly old shoe brush. It's all right, Crookshanks. You just ignore the mean little boy…."
Then, sensing another presence in the room, both turn.
They say, "Harry! Michael!"
….
Reviews:
Bailey Radcliff: thanks. I hope you vote for more than one option. I'm so happy you're enjoying these stories. Happy holidays.
Ushindi: thanks. I hope you'll read them all.
Canadude2029: I'm glad you liked the ending, and thanks for the congratulations on Ghia'ta winning the poll.
….
And thus we start off Prisoner of Azkaban!