This chapter takes place during the episode: "Code Of Conduct"

Chapter Fifty-Three:
Accidents Happen

WEEK 34
JANUARY 22ND, 2001

2015 EST
THE MONOCLE RESTAURANT
WASHINGTON DC

The closer Harm and Mac got to the due date, the more they tried to take advantage of the dwindling they had as just a couple, and not a couple with a baby. When Harm got them a reservation at one of the oldest restaurants in DC, it all seemed like a good idea at first. In fact, the outing had been enjoyable. Harm and Mac were able to relax and enjoy each other's company, something they couldn't do at the apartment because they were in the middle of baby proofing the entirety of it.

Harm also was in a particularly funny mood that evening, telling many jokes that Mac laughed at. Usually this wasn't a problem, but Mac was now on the verge of her final month of pregnancy, and the baby had taken up residence right on top of her bladder. After Harm made a quip about the AirForce, and Mac started laughing but stopped, he'd worried he'd said something wrong. He didn't think she had that deep of an attachment to the AirForce, but he could never be sure.

"Mac? Are you okay?" Harm watched Mac carefully. He noticed how, mid-laugh, Mac had stiffened, her expression changing completely.

"Oh God," Harm's own eyes widened. "You're not-"

"No, Harm," Mac hissed, looking down at herself and the wet spot that was rapidly forming between her legs. She almost wished she'd gone into labor; that would be less embarrassing than what had actually happened. Looking around for something-anything that could help, Mac hastily grabbed a nearby cloth napkin and draped it over her lap.

"What happened?" Harm noticed Mac's cheeks were burning pink.

She huffed, looking around to make sure no one else was watching. "I peed my pants."

As much as he wished he could, Harm couldn't hide his surprise. He balked, staring at Mac, who was trying to cover up her blush with her hands. "You-you-"

"Yes."

The entire thing didn't become funny for Harm until they got in the car, and the entire thing wouldn't become funny for Mac until many months later. For the meantime, she was sulking in the passenger seat of Harm's Lexus (he'd insisted on giving her a break from driving them everywhere) with his top coat strategically wrapped around her. Mac was just thankful they were able to use the excuse that she'd gotten cold; if this had happened during the summer, surely she'd be up a creek without a paddle.

This had happened a couple of times before, but each time Mac had been in the privacy of her own apartment. Now her public dignity was on the line due to her wayward bladder.

She glowered at Harm, who was trying to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. "It's not funny."

"Honey-"

"It's not!" Mac squirmed, trying to find a position that didn't chafe so much.

"Pregnant women pee," Harm said as he started the car. "It's normal."

That insight gave Mac very little comfort. "I'm a United States Marine Colonel," she gave Harm an incredulous glance. "I shouldn't be peeing my pants in public."

"It's not like you tried to," he replied. "Then that would be a little weird," he turned to look at Mac. "Do you want me to turn on the heated seats? It might help you dry off."

"I'm not that wet," Mac said. "I'm just...uncomfortably damp. You're acting like I peed out the Nile River."

"By the way you're complaining, it seems like it."

"Keeping teasing," Mac told him, tugging at the skirt of her dress. She'd managed to pee on the only cute cocktail dress that still fit her. "I might have to sneeze and pee all over your upholstery."

"I could put down one of those puppy training mats-"

"Harm!"

THE NEXT DAY

1700 EST
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA

Mac wasn't the only one who had something embarrassing happen to her that week. The Admiral had also done something that was cause for some mortification, only what he did was something a lot more nefarious than Mac peeing her pants. Even with the context, him striking a loudmouth high schooler wasn't a good look.

AJ was sitting at his desk, trying to figure out what he would do for retirement, which now seemed much more imminent than before. He'd just gotten off the phone with the SecNav, who was pushing for him to resign. All the while Theodore Lindsay, still bitter from being denied his promotion to captain, was looming over the SecNav's shoulder like some henchman.

There was no doubt that AJ was going to need help from someone. He wasn't expecting that person to be Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. The two of them hadn't exactly been on speaking terms since he'd made the suggestion about her going on limited duty.

"May I come in, sir?"

AJ looked up to see Mac standing in his office doorway. "You're already in," he replied. "Where's Tiner?"

"He's umm..?" Mac checked over her shoulder. "Not here, sir. Could I still come in?"

"Sure, Colonel. Close the door."

Mac closed the door and walked over to the Admiral's desk. He was looking over at his bookshelf, seemingly staring at nothing. He knew exactly why Mac was there without her having to say a word.

"I, um...I heard what happened, sir," Mac sat down across from him. It was an unspoken understanding that Mac could sit, for the sake of her back and feet, if she wanted to when she was in the Admiral's office. "Actually I saw it on TV."

AJ looked up at Mac. "It's pretty bad, isn't it?"

Mac smiled faintly. "Well, sir, it's not good."

He sighed. If Mac wasn't weeks out from giving birth, he'd assume she'd be his temporary replacement until a new, permanent JAG was appointed, but considering the circumstances it would probably be Rabb or Sturgis instead.

"Sir, I don't mean to pry, but have you thought about a defense?"

"Defense?" AJ's brows furrowed. "Colonel, I'm a lawyer. I can defend myself."

Mac looked at him with wide eyes, his alarming answer almost making her forget she had to pee. "Are you sure that's a good idea, sir?" she asked slowly.

"Why wouldn't it be, Colonel?" AJ demanded.

"I don't know, sir," Mac instantly back pedaled, not wanting to make the Admiral more agitated than he already was. "It just seems like you're running off emotion instead of logic."

"And what are you hinting at?"

"That you're going to lose if you do that. Respectfully, sir."

AJ studied Mac for a moment, thinking over what she'd said. He knew she was right, he was just irritated he didn't have her foresight. Of course you don't, he told himself, you're too emotionally involved - like an idiot.

"Alright," he finally conceded. Mac smiled. AJ eyed her with uncertainty. "Colonel, you're not trying to sabotage my defense, are you?"

Mac's eyes widened. "Sir, why would I do that?"

"Because I tried to make you go on limited duty."

"Sir," she laughed at the absurdity of the notion. "Why would I hold that against you?'' Just as AJ began to relax, Mac spoke again. "Of course, I wouldn't be here to be your defense attorney if you had put me on limited duty."

"I get your point, Colonel," the Admiral stated curtly.

"I'm glad, sir," Mac briefly glanced over her shoulder at the door. "Will that be all, Admiral?"

"Yes," he frowned slightly. "Do you have somewhere to be, Colonel?"

Mac began to blush. "Yes sir-the bathroom. I have to pee."

"Oh-well then by all means-"

"Thank you, sir."

TWO DAYS LATER

1230 EST
OFFICE OF THE CNO
WASHINGTON DC

Much to the Admiral's relief and Mac's not-so well disguised smugness, him having a proper defense came in handy. As they watched the Chief Naval Officer and Commander Lindsay discuss Mac's offer at a deal (since James Oliphant not only lied about the situation with the Admiral, but also about the status of his father's military career), AJ leaned over to Mac.

"Do you think they'll take it?" he whispered, unreasonably worried.

"I don't see how they couldn't, sir," Mac replied, shifting in her chair. She had to pee, but she wasn't about to get up in the middle of an Admiral's mast. She wouldn't do that even if she was going into labor.

The CNO and Commander Lindsay returned to the table, sitting down across from Mac and AJ. The CNO only looked mildly convinced at the waste of time, whereas Commander Lindsay looked almost morose. No doubt he was perturbed that his place for getting his revenge on AJ had been foiled. Mac had to hide her smirk at his expression.

"Well," the CNO cleared his throat. "This all seems to have been one big misunderstanding. Admiral, Colonel, I sincerely apologize for all the time this took up."

"It's alright," AJ replied. "I'm just glad I get to keep my job."

After the CNO and AJ shook hands, Commander Lindsay went to shake hands. However, just as Mac stuck her hand out, she felt a sneeze coming on. Pulling her hand back to sneeze into her elbow, she suddenly froze. Thankfully, it only took her a few moments for her to recover, shaking Commander Lindsay's hands as if nothing had happened. No one noticed anything had happened, until everyone stood up to leave and Mac didn't.

"Colonel, are you alright?" the CNO asked.

She quickly nodded, flashing him a smile. "Of course," she said, feigning a wince and reaching down to rub her calf. "I just got an awful cramp in my leg. Don't worry, it'll go away in a few minutes."

As soon as the CNO and Commander Lindsay left, AJ turned to look at Mac. "Colonel, are you alright?"

"I'm fine-sir," she quickly amended her agitated tone. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her cell phone. "I just…"

"You just what?"

"I just...need to call Harm, sir," Mac said.

"Why?" realization dawned on AJ as he watched Mac dialed. "Oh God, you're not in labor, are you?"

"No," Mac was no blushing fiercely-more so out of frustration than embarrassment. Did this really have to happen at work? "I wish that was the case."

"Then what happened?" The Admiral's concern was steadily mounting.

"Do you really want to know, sir?"

"Yes."

"I-" she took a deep breath. "I peed my pants."

Thankfully it was a slow day at the office, so it didn't take Harm long to arrive with a change of dress for Mac, discreetly tucked under his arm with his cover on top of it.

"Your replacement uniform, ma'am," Harm stood at attention as he handed Mac her change of clothes. She was still rooted to the spot, refusing to move until she had something to change into. The Admiral had decided to wait outside.

"Thank you," Mac muttered, snatching the neatly folded uniform from his grasp.

"Would you like an escort to the nearest bathroom, ma'am?"

Mac glared up at Harm, who was trying his best to hold in his laughter. "Yes," she answered. "And would you stop that?"

Harm finally dropped his act, noting that, as amusing as it was, it probably wasn't helping Mac out that much. "Don't worry hon," he told her, planting a kiss on the top of her head. "You're still the fiercest Colonel in the corps. You're just having an off day."

Mac snorted. "That's for sure."

"Look on the bright side, this will make a great story to tell our kid one day-"

"Our child is never going to know about this."

Here's a short and sweet update for this Saturday! I promise more updates for other stories are coming soon! Real life just had to take over for a little while, you guys know how it is. :)

Thank you so much for reading! Happy holidays!

-Harper