CHAPTER 13 – TWILIGHT TOWN – THE HAUNTED MANSION
The waking world eludes Roxas. He can't see anything with his eyes closed, his limbs feel like rubber, and the sounds around him are muffled.
It's as if he's suspended in water. All of his senses are almost.
But slowly, surely, (unfortunately) everything becomes clearer. He feels the ache in his muscles, he blinks so the hazy world and blinding light become bearable, and he hears the voices. But he doesn't understand any of them.
"—absolutely ridiculous."
"How could we not have—?"
"—not going anywhere, so stop trying to—"
"We should probably—"
"—about Kairi? We can't just—"
Kairi.
(Fear, sadness, anger, wanthimdead—)
Roxas hadn't realized he said Kairi's name out loud until it gets a reaction from the people around him.
"Roxas! Oh, Roxas."
"Roxas, buddy, hey. We're here."
Lea rushes to his side, kneeling down so he is in front of his best friend. Xion quickly follows, standing at his right. "Roxas. Oh Roxas, we were so worried."
"How are you doing?"
Roxas isn't quite sure who these people are or what they're saying. He blinks, slowly, looking from one person to the other. (But…he doesn't exactly feel good seeing everyone. Why doesn't he feel good?)
What happened? The last thing he remembers is being in Twilight Town's woods, hiding behind a tree so he can eavesdrop on Kairi and Sora's conversation. Then the world got hazy, and he got angry for some reason, and then…then…then what?
"Give him some space, he's not all here yet."
Roxas lifts his head a little more. King Mickey steps forward. Worry makes the lines in his face deeper than usual. (He's getting older.)
Roxas bares his teeth at the King. (It's just…he just reacted.)
Once Roxas sees the King, he notices the room is rather full. Those present beyond Lea, Xion, and the King include Aqua, Ven, Donald, Goofy—all of whom are staring at Roxas, standing around as if waiting for something—and Terra, who stands near the corner of the room, arms crossed, half in front of—
Roxas's blood suddenly boils. He moves to get up only to realize his hands and feet are tied to the chair. "Whuh—Wha—"
"Easy, Roxas, it's just for—"
"Let me go!" Roxas shouts right in Lea's face. He fights his restraints, but as he does so, his body feels as if it's burning. He's injured, he realizes. Bad. His lips taste like blood and his head has a sore lump in the back of it. Not to mention the millions of separate points he can feel are screaming at him to stop moving and let his body heal. But the fury in his chest demands he destroy. Eliminate. Kill. Anything.
Roxas isn't the only one restrained. When he started moving, Sora attempted to make his way past body-guard Terra. He failed, obviously, because his arms and legs are tied together. When he tries jumping forward, Terra's arm shoots out and shoves him hard against the wall.
But neither are gagged. Therefore, the shouting begins. It would be comical in any other situation because they start at the same time and shout so quickly and so loudly that neither of them can be understood.
It does not last long, though. Terra slaps his hand across Sora's mouth, and Lea shakes the chair Roxas sits in to get his attention elsewhere.
"Hey!" Lea snaps. "No, there—no, listen to me—there is no way I am going to deal with you two fighting again. You hear me? I lost some of my hair because of you." Lea gets Roxas to stop yelling, but his hate-filled yellow eyes don't leave Sora.
"Sora!" Donald admonishes. "I thought you were more under control."
Terra carefully removes his hand to allow Sora to respond.
"I am! I am. I—was." Each of Sora's words are less heated than the last. He blinks rapidly. He tries gathering himself even while being pressed against a wall. Yet he cannot continue without saying—"Tell him to calm down. He started it. I felt it."
"I knew it," King Mickey half-mutters. "They're still too much under the influence."
"But it's under control," Xion quickly says. "Lea and Terra have got it. Maybe in a little while we could untie them?"
Aqua is the one to come up and put a hand on Xion's shoulder. "We'll see. Right now, we need to get the full story, and that will be easier if they're not a danger to themselves or each other."
"Exactly," King Mickey says. "We need to know how this started so we can create the best plan on how to save Kairi."
Roxas's eyes leave Sora at the sound of his love's name. Somehow—barely, but…somehow—the sound of Kairi's name lightens the dense pit in Roxas's chest. "Kairi? Where is she? Is she ok?"
"Easy, buddy, she's—"
"Let me go! I can save her! I can help!" (They don't understand! He needs to—she needs him! He can't—he's not with her! He's not with her.)
"You're the one who did this to her!" Sora yells from the far corner of the room. Terra slaps his hand back over Sora's mouth.
"You did this to her, you absolutelypointlesswasteof—"
Lea pulls the chair forward then yanks it back. Hard. This gets the lump on the back of Roxas's head to hit against the back of the chair. His attention is momentarily broken. "You want to help Kairi? Eyes on me. Attention here. Got it memorized?"
"Leave me alone, Axel," Roxas spits out.
Lea's face betrays his surprise (and hurt). He looks to Xion who seems just as unsure.
"We can't trust him," the King says when he hears this. "We need to know what happened. He can't help us."
"He can help us," Lea insists, shaking off his stupor. "He's just a little rattled is all."
"Well," Ven says, drawing out the word, "his eyes are still yellow. He's under the influence of the darkness. What if it causes him to lie?"
"I can help." Roxas says through gritted teeth. (Why are these people so blind?!)
The King shakes his head. "I don't trust this."
"What, you trust Sora's half-assed explanation?" Lea says. "You think we can trust that?"
"I'm saying we should get more witnesses, perhaps travel to the worlds and ask—"
"That will take forever!"
"Lea's right," Aqua says calmly. "We don't have time for it, even if we all left immediately and used Lea's portal transportation, we would have to track everyone down and then corroborate our stories."
King Mickey shakes his head. "We can't trust him to keep calm."
"I'll be calm," Roxas says through gritted teeth. "I. Am. Calm."
"No, you're not. You're unstable." The King sighs. He pinches the space between his eyes. "We can't keep standing here. We've got to make a plan then follow through. We don't have time for this."
"I can help!" Roxas shouts at the King.
King Mickey opens his mouth to shut him down yet again but is stopped by a watery voice.
"He can help."
Roxas looks over his shoulder to see Naminé standing in the corner. Riku is beside her. She is leaning heavily on him. Her eyes are red, and her cheeks are wet. She can't seem to stand on her own. When she tries moving forward, Riku walks beside her and helps each step of the way. Naminé takes a deep, shaky breath, fights a few tears that escape her eyes, then continues her walk.
"Your Majesty," Naminé says quietly, "I know it sounds…" Another deep breath. "It sounds crazy, but he knows everything. If we keep his focus, we can get it all."
"But how?"
Naminé looks at Roxas. She puts a hand on his shoulder and bends down slightly to get to his eye level. "You'll do this for Kairi, won't you?"
At her name, Roxas feels it again. The pit in his chest—the one keeping him from feeling anything but hatred—trembles.
"For Kairi." It's the calmest his voice has been since waking.
Naminé's smile is small, but there. She stands back up and moves back a step (with Riku's ever-present help).
"But first," Roxas turns back to the King, "You need to tell me what the hell is going on." He can't help the bite the words have.
King Mickey crosses his arms, and his frown deepens. For a moment, all present think he appears unmoved by Naminé's plea. Then he sighs. His shoulders sag and he looks at the ground. He closes his eyes when he says, "It's only fair. It's my fault you're suffering in the first place. Alright."
Then he begins.
"There is a heartless. An old heartless Yen Sid told me of back in my teachings, but it wasn't relevant until now. There was a…hm. A shift that happened about a year ago. Yen Sid noticed it first and relayed it to me. The heartless had made its way out of the realm of darkness to hunt for a new victim. It had finished feasting on its last one.
"Now this heartless is not like the others. Yes, it is attracted to light, but it is different in the way that it seeks out the strongest, the purest, the greatest of all. Its negative effect is enormous. It—It affects its victims before even claiming the heart."
"Negativity. It feeds on negativity," Naminé says. She chokes on a sob. "Any negative emotion its chosen victim has, it can emphasize. It would be as if the person cannot think of anything else. They come to the worst conclusions, they feel sad, angry, fearful—anything to make them unsure."
The King nods. "Which is why I paired you all together when going to search for it."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Roxas snaps. "Kairi and I were easy targets!"
Naminé gasps and clutches her chest. Sora growls from the corner.
King Mickey is quick to shut this down. "No, you weren't, and it's because I didn't tell you. When a person is aware of their negative emotions, they become hyperaware of them. They can't not think about it if the person knows there are even more dangerous consequences if they don't get themselves feeling better. You and Kairi had one another without the added danger of being hyperaware. Going out to search for it with someone meant you had someone to watch out for the signs of being chosen."
Terra counts them off. "Focus on negative emotions, feelings of hopelessness, whispers telling you the worst." He shares a look with Aqua. (They would know. They've been controlled by darkness before.)
"Whispers," Roxas says, hushed. Like an afterthought.
"Because I didn't tell you or Kairi, you two would not be focusing on negativity or watching over your shoulders the entire time. And I didn't make Kairi go alone because if either of you did happen to show signs, you would have given notice of frustrations in your report. At least, I thought you would have. I had no idea you two would ignore all warning signs in order to avoid coming back for a mission."
"Ha." Roxas's laugh is humorless. "It wasn't the mission we were avoiding." His eyes sweep over those in the room and land on Sora who glowers back. "It was you. All of you."
The room quiets.
Then—
"Us? How come?" Goofy asks quietly.
Roxas's eyes never leave Sora.
"Hey, ok. Here's how this is going to go." Lea takes Roxas's chair and turns it towards the wall and pulls it back just far enough Lea places another chair in front of Roxas. He sits backwards on it, arms resting on the backrest. "My buddy and I are gonna chat, and it's just going to be us. Right, Roxas?"
Roxas, who can no longer glare at Sora, stares at Lea. Stares at the face so familiar to him. Eyes that always had a bit of sadness behind them—not unlike his own. (And for a moment, Roxas can remember back to the two of them surrounded by white walls, wondering what it would be like to have hearts. And now they know…)
"Wanna start from the beginning?" Lea prods gently. "You started in Snow White's castle, right?"
Roxas grinds his teeth. He takes a deep breath, holds it, and slowly releases it. (For Kairi.) "No. We stopped at Radiant Garden first."
Lea tries not to show how eager he is to finally get a solid, calm-ish response from his friend. "Ok, sure. You stopped there first. Why?"
"We needed to pick up the bouquet gifts—for the princesses. She couldn't get out of there fast enough."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"She hates that place. Doesn't anybody know that?! Doesn't anyone pay attention?!" (It's like the smallest thing can set him off. Roxas feels it. He acknowledges it. He can't stop it.)
Lea holds up his hands. Not only in surrender to Roxas's goading for a fight, but also to stop the King from interfering, nonverbally asking for another minute "Alright, alright. You're right. She's not a big fan of her princess business. Was she sad to go on the trip?"
Roxas turns his head to the side defiantly.
Lea tries a different approach. "Did Snow White like the flowers?"
Another deep breath. "Yeah…and Kairi was happy to go on the trip. She liked seeing the princesses. When the connection with Snow White was made, we were heading back to the ship through the forest, in the dark, when Kairi stopped."
Roxas pauses. It's like he can hear everyone straining to listen. They hang on his every word. "She said it was nothing, but I saw something in her face. She was…I think she was afraid. Later, she told me the whispers started then. She had felt a presence before the trip, but the whispers started in Snow White's world."
"I see." Lea nods. "So she was chosen likely before the trip even began, and no one noticed."
"I—"
Roxas can't see it, but all eyes go to Riku.
Riku holds onto his thought a moment longer before sharing. "I knew she wasn't happy. Sora ignored it too—"
"Hey!"
(Roxas has to clutch the armrests and screw his eyes shut to keep himself from a sudden outburst of anger.)
"—but I knew, and I let her go. I tried to get her to wait for me or Sora, but she refused. She downright told me she didn't want to wait for either of us anymore." Everyone hears the pain in his voice. "I should have—that should have been a clue. She has always been waiting for us. She was done waiting."
"Glad someone recognizes one of the things that made her unhappy," Roxas says. It sounds derisive, but he is actually somewhat glad Riku identified one of the factors.
Terra chimes in. "So no one knows exactly when she was chosen, but no one could have stopped her actually being chosen."
"What world did you go to next?" Lea asks, retaking Roxas's attention.
Roxas gets himself back on track. "We visited Aurora. She said Kairi's heart wasn't right after they did the ceremony."
"How so?" the King asks.
Roxas says nothing.
"How so?" Lea asks.
Roxas answers. "She said Kairi's heart was fragile…or uneasy…or something like that. She wasn't happy with what she felt. When I asked Kairi about it, she said her theory was because she didn't have her 'happily ever after' yet, so her heart wasn't settled. She said to trust her and I did. What do I know about hearts?"
"Oh Roxas," Xion sighs. "You know plenty."
"Shut it!" Roxas snaps. (He didn't mean to yell at her. He didn't! But at the same time, he did, and it felt good. No one is allowed to tell him anything right now. It's his turn to speak.)
Sora is the answering yell. "You shut it!"
"Terra, would you?" Lea asks.
Terra puts his hand over Sora's mouth again.
Lea gestures at him. "Thank you. Now, her heart wasn't happy, and it was evident. Aurora noticed, but you trusted her."
"Yes."
"Anything more there?"
"No. We went to Agrabah."
Lea's eyes dart to Xion who flanks Roxas's chair. Her hands are clutched in front of her and pressed against her mouth to keep herself from breaking Roxas's concentration. Her eyes meet Lea's, sharing his emotion.
Lea fakes a smile. "I remember the visit there. Good times! Still appreciate that push you gave me. It was needed."
Roxas doesn't smile back, but he doesn't react negatively either. Lea calls that a win.
"Is that when you got together with Kairi too? Did my push work?" Lea (half) jokingly asks.
The faraway look in Roxas's eyes speaks for him before actually saying anything. The barest hint of a smirk turns up one corner of his mouth. "No, that's when she found out I wasn't dating Xion, and I found out she wasn't dating Sora."
Roxas hears a thunk and his chest constricts again. He closes his eyes and holds his breath. What he didn't see was Sora fight Terra's restraining grip and have to be shoved against the wall again. Naminé gasps after holding her breath to keep from letting out a sob. Lea glances at the three then shares a look with the King.
Their suspicions are being confirmed.
"That's also where the heartless first appeared," Roxas says after a moment.
"Lea, would you please turn Roxas around?" the King requests. "I think he's gotten a hold of himself quite well."
Lea does not agree, but he does as King Mickey asks. Roxas's features are hard. He refuses to look directly at anyone.
The King addresses him. "You encountered the heart—?"
"Ah-ta-ta." Lea gently stops the King from continuing. "No offense, your majesty, but shut up. I got this."
The King blinks at him, but he holds out a hand, gesturing for Lea to continue, even taking a step back himself. He only really needed to keep tabs of Roxas's expressions and emotions. Lea is handling the situation quite well.
(Eyes. There are eyes everywhere. On him. Roxas does not like this.) Roxas makes a point to not look at the far corner where a certain someone glares at him.
Lea retakes his seat in front of Roxas, leaning back with his arms and legs both crossed. "We were at the part where the big, bad heartless came by. How did that go?"
Roxas frowns. "We were talking alone in the courtyard. We had just finished and were going to head inside. Kairi forgot her scarf and walked back to the spot. Then I felt—"
—and Roxas is taken back. Thrown back to when the icy-cold dread shot down his spine and one look towards Kairi told him she knew it too and the soulless yellow eyes appearing out of the dark and the sheer desperation to get to her. (Hands reached out, barely there, Kairi—)
"Easy. Easy, Roxas. You're ok now." Lea grabs his shoulder and gives it a reaffirming shake. Xion in turn puts a comforting hand on his arm.
Roxas hadn't even realized he was having a hard time breathing. "It—It came out of the—it was just there. We were…apart and then—I had to get to her. We ran. Only our fingers touched before…it hit us. It just hit us." Roxas tries to take a deep breath, holds it. Though he can't hold it for long, it does the job to help him catch his breath. "We were both knocked off our feet. It took us…a minute to recover, but we were better soon. We…" Roxas pauses, wondering if details are relevant. (For Kairi.) "We—at least I felt better when we got to each other and held hands. Then we searched the place without finding the heartless. It was gone. We went to bed."
There's a table in the middle of the room. Most of the room's occupants are sitting around it. For the first time, Roxas takes in the room around them. Dirty, dusty, worn-down. No windows, but he can still smell the forest. "Is this…the mansion?"
"Yeah, we couldn't wrangle you far. You and Sora put up quite the fight. Where was all this fire during training? You both kicked some serious ass."
"Ahem."
Lea doesn't even look at the King. He's more preoccupied with the look of abject horror on Roxas's face. "Here? I don't want to be here."
"We can't go anywhere else until we get the full story. All the more reason to quick finish it up. What happened after Agrabah?"
Roxas takes a deep breath in through his nose, holds it, then releases it out his mouth. (It's ok. It's passed. He isn't a copy. He isn't.) "We went to Adam and Belle's palace."
"Oh yeah? Anything major happened there?"
Roxas stares at a spot on the floor, concentrating. What did happen there? Was the heartless there? Did anything of significance happen?
Well…yes.
"We got closer there," Roxas says.
He does not notice Sora turn around to hide the dread on his face.
"There we go. Worked your charm, did you?" If it was any other time, Lea would have loved to mercilessly tease his best friend. Even with the circumstances, he can't help but add, "Did you kiss her?"
Roxas manages a grin with very little maliciousness attached. "No, but…that's the first time we really connected."
"You dog."
"Lea," Xion lightly chastises.
To everyone's surprise, Naminé steps forward. Riku still supports her, but she appears less shattered. He pulls a chair up for her. She sits in front of Roxas just enough for them to be able to look directly at one another.
"If I may, Lea, I'd like to talk to Roxas about this world," Naminé says softly. Her voice croaks like it's been strained. From her red eyes and puffy cheeks, it's no big guess as to why. At Roxas's confused stare, Naminé simply musters a smile and says, "Kairi told me how much fun you two had there."
Roxas nods.
"You stayed longer than necessary, is that right?"
Roxas nods again. Naminé's voice is calming. She's always had a calming presence. He allows it to further calm the twisting mess inside.
"Roxas, did you take dance lessons so you could dance with Kairi at the town's celebration?"
Roxas nods once more, but this time with a smile. "Lumiere and Cogsworth helped. They're interesting teachers."
"Why did you want to take lessons?"
A long, contemplative pause. Roxas wants to answer fully. With the void in his chest calming some, he feels he can think more clearly. "Because…we were having a good time together. She asked me if we could stay because we were 'in this together'. She wanted to make sure I was happy. I was happy. With her. I wanted her to be happy too. I wanted…I thought the dance lessons were a good way to…I wanted her to…I wanted it to be a good time for her."
"And it was."
"It was." The mere mention of the dance and his inner turmoil settles some more. (Holding Kairi close, the smell of her hair, his hand on the small of her back, the overwhelming desire to not let go.)
"It was for her too, Roxas." Naminé breaks Roxas away from the memory. Roxas watches as she holds out her hand, and Riku hands over her bag of art supplies. She pulls out her sketchbook and flips to the page she wants. As she does so, she explains. "That night, Roxas, the night you and Kairi danced your first slow dance together, I had a flash. I call it a flash because it was only a brief moment where I could see exactly what Kairi saw and feel what she felt. It was…overwhelming."
Naminé holds up the picture. It's of Roxas. His eyes match his soft smile. "This is just a recreation of the original drawing I made that night. Kairi asked to keep the original. I'm not sure where it would be now."
No one says the obvious. Only Kairi could tell them, and she most certainly is not in a position to do so.
"I saw you, Roxas, through Kairi's eyes. With it, I felt the rush of…well, I suppose it was the beginning of love. I know that feeling." Naminé briefly glimpses at Riku. "This is perhaps when she first started feeling for you—maybe finally allowing herself to. Is…is this when you started feeling for her too?"
"Yes." This is all Roxas says in answer.
Naminé nods then glances over her shoulder. "I called Ven that night, to confirm a theory."
"I didn't feel a thing," Ven chimes in. "We guessed maybe Sora might be able to feel what you feel too. If your hearts are maybe still connected somehow from being each other's Nobodies."
Naminé closes the sketchbook. "The King was busy, and I couldn't get a hold of Sora. They were on the mission. When I visited Kairi in Radiant Garden, she confirmed how she felt about you in that moment. She could tell me exactly where the picture was from the second she saw it." She stands up and turns so she's halfway between facing Roxas and facing Sora.
"Sora, now that I have the opportunity, do you recall feeling anything for Kairi that maybe didn't feel like your own?"
Sora's arms are crossed. He is only very slightly turned towards Naminé (and Roxas). His jaw is set with anger, but his eyebrows are twisted in a way that makes him look concerned. "I…yes. It was a dream, I think. Kairi was in firelight and she looked…" Sora shuts his mouth with an audible click of his teeth. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I didn't think it was out of the ordinary. I've dreamt of Kairi loads of times before."
"Lucky you don't get nightmares," Roxas mutters.
Sora whips around. He doesn't move any closer, but he glares. "I get plenty—" but he stops himself. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath. "I get plenty of nightmares."
"When was the next time you saw a vision?" Lea asks Roxas.
"Untie me."
In one fluid motion, Riku grabs Naminé and pulls her up and behind him. Terra moves to block Sora's view of Roxas. The others all move—subtly, but it's noticeable—to ready themselves.
"That…might not be the best idea," Xion says gently. "Roxas, you and Sora could have killed each other."
Lea tilts his head and pulls some of his hair away to show a bald spot. "See this? You did worse than this. You basically tried to kill me to get to Sora."
"I see it," Roxas says. "Sorry about it, but you have to let me go."
"Roxas, please," The King says. "This is a very dangerous situation. The heartless could—"
"Do you want the rest of the story?" Roxas cuts him off. "Stop treating me like the bad guy."
"You aren't the bad guy, Roxas," Aqua says.
"Coulda fooled me," Donald grumbles. Ven nudges him.
It is Goofy who steps up. "I'll watch him, your majesty. He's doin' the best he can, and I think that's pretty nice of him. He's fightin' the effects really well."
The King's face pinches. "It's just—" he cuts himself off. Then sighs. "Very well. Lea, please undo Roxas's restraints."
Lea nods without offering anything further. Once Roxas is untied, he stands—which is actually a very bad idea because he is still super sore from the previous fight. (There's a reason everyone hesitates volunteering to spar with Sora.) He does a few brief stretches, testing how his body feels. He decides his muscles are capable of doing more so he heads for the door.
Almost immediately, everyone moves to stop him. He glares them down. "I'll tell you the story, but I don't want to be here."
Goofy opens the door. He gestures for Roxas to exit. Roxas nods in thanks and walks through. The second both feet are out of the room, he starts the story again.
"We're not to another vision yet. I'll tell you that when we get there. We went to Wonderland first." Roxas talks without looking back, not even the gesture of inclining his head to speak over his shoulder. No. Face forward. Stride purposeful. Words matter-of-fact.
He goes on to explain meeting the Queen of Hearts. The distraction, the escape, rescuing Alice. Roxas loathes telling them about Kairi's breakdown, about how he comforted her. (It feels private.)
King Mickey seems more interested in how and when the feeling of the heartless faded, noting exactly what they were doing and what was said before it went away. Roxas doesn't mind his questions as much anymore. Being free to move around makes everything feel much more tolerable. Like he can redirect his anger to movement.
"Then Riku showed up," Roxas continues. (The dense pit in his chest tells him to be vicious. To give gruesome details about Riku and Kairi's argument.) Instead, he stops at the mansion's outer gate. He leans against the brick and crosses his arms. With a pointed look to Riku, he says, "Would you care to explain that part?"
Equal parts anger and regret, Riku's face says a lot without saying anything yet. He works his jaw, clenches his fists, then crosses his arms. "We fought."
"About what?" Roxas prods.
Riku glares at him. "About you." Riku briefly closes his eyes then sighs, resigning himself to his fate. "It started with me telling her she should have waited for me or Sora to come back. She was mad because she thought we didn't trust her—"
"And?"
"Easy, Roxas. Let him speak," Lea says.
"And that we left her behind. We left her behind so she was forced to go on this trip with someone whose skills we didn't trust."
"And did she ever get hurt on my watch?" Roxas asks too calmly.
"She was taken by the heartless—"
"No! No, that was under his watch. She was talking to him. He sent me away." Roxas points to Sora without looking at him (not wanting to). "He was the one to—"
Goofy steps in front of him. Roxas hadn't realized he'd stepped closer to Sora. Terra has a firm grip on Sora's shirt which almost lifts him off his feet. Both of Sora's hands are gripping Terra's arm with such force, his knuckles are white, and blood can be seen at the tips of his fingernails. Terra doesn't even flinch.
"We're all here for Kairi, aren't we?" Goofy says to Roxas. The loyal guard is completely unfazed by Roxas's wild eyes, but those eyes calm when the beloved princess's name is spoken.
Roxas steps back. He looks to Riku.
"No," Riku concedes. "She was not hurt on your watch. You did a good job of protecting her."
"That's right. I did." Roxas can't help but say this. He turns and heads towards the woods. "We went to Cinderella's palace. We had a good time." Roxas lets his eyes wander the trees. The damage to the forest is extensive unfortunately. He inspects a scorch mark on the tree next to him. "We visited Anastasia and her family. We all had dinner together. Later, we talked about—"
Roxas stops.
"What did you talk about?" Xion asks in a forced light tone.
"We need to know all the details, Roxas," the King reminds him.
("Then…could you do me a favor?" "Anything" "Not tell anybody else I can do this?")
"No," Roxas says—no malice, no force, no hate. Just a fact. "You don't need to know everything. Some things are private between us, and they will stay that way. I made a promise. All I will say is we had a good long conversation, and…got really close."
Roxas doesn't see it, but the words he speaks makes Sora's face fall.
"Then the ball happened, and we had a great time. The princesses strengthened the connection. Kairi and I wandered around after and…and we…we uh…"
(You know, of the few times when instead of fearing Sora's reaction Roxas wanted to shove it in his face that he did what Sora couldn't, he always imagined stating loudly, almost mockingly, that he is with Kairi. But now that the moment is here, when he can brag, when the thing in his chest is screaming at him to relish in victory…Roxas feels sad.)
"That's when your hearts truly connected," Naminé offers gently. Her smile, though watery, is strong. She flips to another page in her sketchbook and shows Roxas another sketch, still of Roxas but this time with new clothes around his shoulders. Yet his expression is the same.
"Did she wear lavender?"
Everyone looks at Sora.
Sora sees only Roxas. "In the only other vision I know I had, she was in a lavender dress with her hair pulled up high."
"Yes, she wore lavender that night."
Sora nods. His gaze falls to the ground. "I thought so. If…if that's what you were feeling…I can understand—I guess…I can see…"
Everyone can hear the beginning of tears in the form of a wavering voice.
For a long moment, no one says anything. No one moves.
Then Roxas does. He steps toward Sora. Goofy steps forward but doesn't intervene when he doesn't see the intent in Roxas's step. The intent to harm. Instead, Roxas moves until he is shoulder to shoulder with Sora, about a foot apart. He faces the mansion. Sora faces the woods. Neither looks at the other.
"I never knew what was so great about having a heart until Kairi showed me. Now, I understand too. But I learned something—you couldn't have possibly felt for her what I do. If you did, you would have done something about it a long time ago."
The words hang in the air as Roxas walks back to the mansion.
"Hey!"
He doesn't reach the mansion.
Hayner, Pence, and Olette emerge from the trees. Goofy subtly moves in front of Roxas.
A myriad of warnings are thrown their way.
"Whoa, easy!"
"Stay back."
"You shouldn't be here."
Hayner crosses his arms. "Xion told us we can't go into the woods because of danger. Now you all are here, and I can't see even a smidge of danger."
"What's going on?" Pence asks. "Is everyone alright?"
"There was so much noise!" Olette steps around the boys, towards Roxas. "We were worried you—"
As if rehearsed, everyone moves to stop her. Olette blinks at the sudden crowd before her. "What?"
"I'm dangerous, apparently," Roxas says.
"What?"
Hayner laughs. "Don't be ridiculous. We—" He stops when, as he steps forward, Aqua holds up her hands. "You can't be serious."
Pence frowns. "Roxas?"
"Ask the King."
King Mickey shakes his head, but he goes on to give the bare-minimum explanation. A bad heartless that feeds on negative emotions got out. It kidnapped Kairi. Roxas, Sora, and Naminé are all feeling it's affects.
Pence lets out a low whistle. "For real? Hm."
Hayner is less tactical. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"It's what has happened," Ven insists. "Honest."
Olette says nothing. Instead she tries moving around the crowd between her and Roxas. Lea very pointedly steps in front of her and puts a hand on her shoulder.
"No," is all she says.
"Sorry, but better safe than—"
"Roxas, this doesn't make any sense! She was happy!" Olette's determination shows on her face. Roxas pops out from behind Lea and peers over Goofy's shield. "She was so happy! We did nothing but talk about how great you are together and all you did for her. She didn't have any negative emotions!"
"I know," Roxas says. "We—actually. We don't have time for the full story. Kairi's in danger. We need to finish giving details and go save Kairi and get rid of this stupid feeling." That last part Roxas says through his teeth.
"Where were you in the story?" Pence asks.
"Radiant Garden."
Roxas elaborates on their time in Radiant Garden. About their trip in town, about meeting General Corporeal, about his mission. When he reaches the point where he left, Aqua and Naminé fill in the blanks from their time with Kairi back at the castle.
(Roxas listens as much as the others. The suffocating void in his chest shrinks ever so slightly when he hears about Kairi's unwavering belief in him being there for her.)
When the two have finished their portion, somehow they all silently agree to return to the mansion, following Roxas as he stomps his way through the elaborate front doors. He picks up the story again where the prickling in the back of his head appears, after he talked to the prisoner. The whispers, thinking he was crazy, his avoidance of Kairi because the feeling increased.
"I'm still wondering how Kairi put up with that for so long," he says. "It was—is awful."
"That makes sense, I suppose," The King mutters. They've reached the mansion's front door. "The heartless attacked you with the biggest insecurity you had."
Roxas hm's at that. "Then we got in a fight. I let the whispers get to me and told her my worst fear."
"What's your worst fear?" Ven blurts out. Aqua shushes him.
"None of your business, none of anybody's business—except Kairi," Roxas says (the question further stirs the yuck in his chest). "And nobody's going to hear hers either, so don't even ask."
Roxas has gone through the main entrance of the mansion, and now makes his way through the many halls. He plans on pausing at each room (all except one) to look inside with no real motive beyond making time stretch. The group trails him with not a clue of what is going on in his mind yet willing to follow in order to finish the verbal journey.
"That thing attacked her when she left to get away from me," Roxas says quickly. He wants to get through this part. He wishes he didn't have to say it at all. "She was going to lose. I found her and we managed to scare it off. I'm not sure how exactly—"
"Was there any contact?" The King interjects. "Did you and Kairi make contact physically or emotionally?"
Roxas stares hard at him. How did the King guess? (There has to be something he isn't divulging, and Roxas is pissed—)
"Yes," he says through clenched teeth. "So?"
"Simply something of note for now. Please continue." The King gestures him on.
Roxas doesn't move. His stare doesn't waver when his keyblades appear. All but Naminé brace themselves for a fight. Terra snatches Sora by his clothes and yanks him back as an extra precaution. "What aren't you telling me?"
"Roxas, calm down—" the King tries to say.
"No."
"Roxas, c'mon, buddy," Lea tries.
Roxas raises Oblivion to point it directly at King Mickey. "What aren't you telling me?"
"Roxas, your eyes." Xion feels panic begin to bubble. Although his eyes have been yellow since they got here, they hadn't been glowing like they are now.
Naminé goes to stand beside The King (with Riku close beside her, ready to defend her at a moment's notice.)
"We need your story first, Roxas," Naminé says. "Then we can tell you all else. We need all the pieces in order to solve the puzzle."
Though Roxas's eyes move to Naminé, no other muscles move. Roxas remains a statue for a few, agonizing seconds.
"To help Kairi."
At those words, Roxas lowers the keyblade. Yet they don't disappear.
"How—How about we tell what happened while they were here?" Olette's words are a peace offering. "That could give you a break, Roxas."
"Yeah! We practically set up your whole date," Hayner jokes.
Pence laughs. "You couldn't have pulled it off without us."
And so they do. There's a dining room of sorts the group wanders into. Some sit in the chairs, others lean on the table. It's almost like a regular hangout session, the Twilight Trio telling the fun story of keeping Kairi busy while Pence, Hayner, and Roxas ran around town preparing.
"Kairi and Roxas had a very successful date," Olette happily passes along. For a moment, she and the others forget they're giving this information for the purpose of a rescue rather than reminiscing. "It was like a fairy tale! The flowers, the clothes, the food, the dancing."
"The firelight," Roxas releases the words with a large breath he heaved out of his chest which in turn takes out the tension he feels there.
"What was that?"
Someone asks him this question, but Roxas's mind is already gone. (Already back dancing with Kairi. The candles illuminating the setting, reminding him greatly of their first lock of eyes in firelight all those months ago. He held her close like he did while dancing with her at the town's festival. That dance felt like the culmination of their journey together. That's why he told her then and there he loves—)
"Roxas, your eyes. They're turning blue again!"
At Xion's happy exclamation, everyone quickly turns to see if they too can see the phenomenon. Sure enough, the yellow irises are giving way to blue on the edges which creep inward. But the moment passes the second the King comments, which sticks out above the jovial cries of hope, reaches Roxas's ears.
"Quick! Roxas, what were you thinking just then?" Even before he gets an answer, he turns to Sora. "Do you feel better as well? How about you, Naminé?"
Naminé puts a hand to her chest. For the first time since this started, her mouth forms a smile. Small but present. "Yes."
"What's happening?" Sora asks hurriedly. "Are we being cured?"
The King once again looks to Roxas. "What were your thoughts just then?"
Roxas frowns at him, but he answers. "I was thinking about our date."
"But what specifically?"
"Something."
"This isn't a time for half-answers, Roxas. This is important. Did you tell her you love her? Did you kiss her? Maybe it was the first time for either?"
("Kairi, I love you." "Roxas, I love you too.")
(Precious, perfect, irreplaceable memories he needs to protect!)
Roxas can physically feel the darkness crawling back in his chest, finding it's place to settle in his heart, and he can't do this anymore!
"Oh no, Roxas, no," Xion says through tears.
"We need these answers!" the King exclaims.
"And I need privacy!" Roxas slams his hands on the table and stands. "Here I am willingly telling you the story but you're demanding my private memories. You don't get to hear about our conversations. You don't get to know what we've said to each other. I won't let them be tainted. I see the way you're all looking at me."
Roxas's hard stare goes from the King to the group. "You all think this is wrong. You think it should be Sora. I get it. But guess what, that doesn't matter. Kairi and I, the two people in this relationship, are not letting our supposed friends judge us. Like you all haven't done harm to us in your own way!"
(Too much, Roxas's mind is telling him, but his influenced heart is demanding retribution. He wants everyone to know how they've wronged him and Kairi.) In his rage-fueled daze, he starts pointing and yelling.
To Riku, "You treat her like a child."
To Naminé, "You sigh at her."
To Xion, "You see her as an original and despise her for it."
To Lea, "You treat her like a child."
To Ven, Terra, and Aqua, "You three hardly care about her enough to visit."
To Donald and Goofy, "You don't see her as good enough to be another soldier."
To the King, "You keep shoving her in the princess role she doesn't want."
To Sora, who is on the other end of the table, teeth clenched, eyes glowing yellow, practically as feral as Roxas is feeling, but to his credit, he's trying to hold himself back. He manages until Roxas opens his mouth to speak his piece. Then Terra has to hold Sora back.
"And you—" Roxas spits at him. "You left her alone."
Sora lunges at Roxas, but Terra was ready. He leaps forward and manages to grab Sora. They both fall to the ground. Roxas glares at his brother with all the hatred he can muster.
Then he turns. To all present—"So when you start thinking I'm the problem, look at yourselves. I'm done."
And he's gone.
Funny, of all the times Roxas missed being able to summon a dark portal to get him out of situations, he never thought he would miss it enough to actually make it appear. But, he supposes, he hadn't been under the dark influence for quite some time.
Yet what surprises him more is where the portal dumps him.
The last place he wants to be, really. The white room is as bright as ever. Naminé's drawings no longer decorate the wall. The curtains are still there. Completely still. Not even Roxas's entrance disturbs them.
Roxas sneers, as if the room is an entity he can show his distaste for. He moves to the only door in the room and presses his ear against it. Faintly he hears the voices of his distressed friends downstairs. Nothing specific he can pinpoint, just the panicked tone.
Roxas scoffs and moves back. He holds out his hand and waits.
Nothing happens.
Roxas frowns. He tries again.
Still nothing.
Roxas is sure the scowl on his face would scare even Maleficent. He had summoned a portal not more than a minute before. Why can't he get one now?
Maybe he isn't angry enough? Darkness feeds on dark emotions. So Roxas closes his eyes and concentrates. He thinks of his frustration on the entire situation—his friends who won't listen and understand, not knowing where Kairi is, being stuck in this whole stupid situation.
Nothing.
(Why can't he do this? Why won't it work? Why isn't he good at this? Why isn't he good at anything? Why is everything for him so difficult all the time?)
Roxas kicks at nothing in the nearly baren room, and stomps over to the only items that are present. He sits himself down in the seat he occupied all those years ago and swore he never would again, but he needs to kick up more anger. He has to be able to teleport. He has to go find Kairi!
He stares at the empty seat across the table. He pictures Naminé Younger. Eyes filled with a familiar sadness.
("You…You were never supposed to exist, Roxas.")
Through clenched teeth, Roxas tries to breathe deeply and manage the pain.
(Concentrate! Harness the darkness. Make it work for you.)
Naminé's knees give out from under her. It happens the two seconds Riku isn't looking at her. When he does his heart breaks more than he thought possible. It's almost as bad as when it first happened.
The poor girl clutches her sides, as if letting them go will cause her to collapse. And she wails. A long, pain-filled cry that begs for mercy without any words.
Riku takes her in his arms and holds her close. He tries willing some of the pain to leave her and make him suffer instead. Why couldn't it have been him? He should have seen this all coming. (Too late. Just too late.)
Riku looks up to see Sora clutching his hair, baring his teeth. And this is after he has finished throwing a chair against the wall. Riku can only imagine what's happening to Roxas right now.
They should have told him everything from the start. This hindsight hurts more than anything else.
They might have lost their chance to fix this.
(Riku vaguely wonders if the despair he feels is enough to get the heartless to leave Kairi and take him instead.)
Roxas stretches out a hand.
Nothing.
"ARGH!" Roxas slams his fists on the table then rakes his nails through his hair which dig into his scalp. That thing creating a black hole in his chest keeps consuming him. It's getting bigger, he can feel it, and he still can't teleport.
Tears threaten to fall from his eyes. (Why can't he do this one thing for the one person he cares about the most?)
…but maybe darkness isn't the answer?
Roxas opens his watery eyes, but the tears don't manage to fall. Instead, his eyes fill with determination—resolution.
Maybe…
Quickly, he digs out the picture he has of them from the beach. He stares at it, trying to pull out the memories trapped beyond a haze of hate. The laughter, the friendship, the warmth of the sun on his skin. With that, he closes his eyes and focuses. He takes himself out of where he is.
And he remembers.
There's laughter. So much laughter. There always seems to be laughter with Hayner, Pence, and Olette around. There isn't a moment he doesn't enjoy. Being there is different than being at Destiny Islands. This sand is a different texture, the ocean a different blue. A feeling of no responsibilities—no history. No need to worry.
Then they're in the water and splashing and laughing yet again. After water is thrown his way, he can barely see Kairi approach until she's there practically inches from his face, leaning in for…—for deception! She drags him underneath the water.
Roxas opens his eyes despite the sting of salt to see Kairi still right there, keeping him below with a firm grip on his wrist. She looks at him, smiles, then leans in and kisses him there in the privacy beneath the waves and Roxas can't help but feel giddy because she's so great and this is a great day and he just can't imagine feeling more relaxed than he does right now—
Naminé gasps, finally able to take a full breath without pain for the first time since this all began. Being held in Riku's arms suddenly is all she will ever need to feel happy ever again. It's the only place she ever wants to be because this is the best she thinks she has felt in her entire life, the sheer relief is astronomical.
But then—
There's a rush of magic that breaks Roxas out of his memories. He's pointing two keyblades at the shimmering oval before the person who created them finishes teleporting.
Roxas doesn't feel any better when he sees who it is. "What do you want?"
Yen Sid looks at him with the same grim expression he has for every situation ever. "I am here to fully inform you of the state of affairs. I believe the others struggled to fully understand just how difficult things were for you. Hopefully, I can rectify the matter and give clarification."
The keyblades disappear, and Roxas slumps back down onto the chair. "About time somebody does. I've been talking for forever and nobody's said anything of value to me. I need to find Kairi."
"I know of her whereabouts, but—" Yen Sid holds up a hand to keep Roxas from interjecting, "—you are not yet ready to face what is ahead. I shall prepare you, then we will go to her."
"She's at Radiant Garden, isn't she?" Roxas asks casually.
Yen Sid nods. "Very good. You guessed well. She is at the place which holds most of her dark memories." The elder wizard moves to take the seat at the end of the table opposite Roxas. Once seated, he interlaces his fingers and places his elbows on the rests. Then he sighs. It is a sigh that betrays how tired he is. "I had…I was aware Kairi was struggling with her past and her current responsibilities, but I believed her quite capable of overcoming her personal obstacles."
"She is capable," Roxas mutters.
"She is, and she would have overcome if not for the heartless hunting her. But the support of her friends proved more vital than I had anticipated. It was my miscalculation, my guidance to the King to continue pressing the need for her visits."
"Glad someone is acknowledging their mistakes," Roxas says. It makes him feels marginally better to hear someone remorseful. (Marginally.)
"Separation was her weakness. Loneliness. I believed her to be having enough interaction, but her past had left a scar. The wound healed, but the emotional uncertainty she felt was enough to create this situation we are currently in."
Roxas points at the old wizard. "Don't start blaming her! She—"
Yen Sid holds up a hand. "That is far from my intention. Kairi's light is nearly beyond comparison. I simply wanted to explain that despite the light within her, she is not unbreakable. She is an emotional being, after all. A great strength it can be, but also a weakness that gets to everyone at some point. It just happened to be when the threat was the greatest."
Roxas leans back and crosses his arms. "So. This heartless hunts for the biggest light. And that's Kairi. Anything else I should know about it?"
"It is old. Very old. It reappears every few centuries or so, depending."
"On?"
"On whether or not it found a host to hibernate with, and how strong that particular host is."
"And Kairi would be…?"
"Its strongest yet."
Roxas flexes and unflexes his fists. And again. And takes a deep breath.
Yen Sid continues. "Not only is she a guardian of light and a princess of light, but she is connected to the other guardians and princesses as well. All beings who shine brighter than those around them."
"So…the connection is…" Roxas's eyes widen in realization. "The princesses! We strengthened all the connections before—!"
Yen Sid looks away (cannot meets Roxas's yellow eyes knowing all the things he could have—should have done to avoid this). "Yes," he says harshly. "Yes, you did. The King was with Cinderella when Kairi had been captured. The darkness enveloped her before he was even able to leave the castle. He worked to bring everyone together now that they knew the target. So yes, not only would the darkness feed off of Kairi, it would feed off of all those close to her heart. You included."
Roxas takes deep, long breaths through his nose. The edges of his vision blurs. (Why does everything have to hurt?) If it weren't for needing the full story in order to save Kairi, he would be gone already to go and save her no matter what the old wizard says. Roxas forces himself to focus. "So…So we…me and Sora were…our reactions are all different. What does that mean? And the other guardians don't seem affected."
Yen Sid blinks slowly. "The strongest connections take affect first. You, young man, are the strongest connection she has. She loves you like she has loved none before."
(The corners of the pit in Roxas's chest don't feel as sharp as they did a moment ago.)
"And because of that, you feel the strongest pain because it is closest to the pain Kairi is going through," Yen Sid explains. "Sora is experiencing what you are, to a lesser extent, because your heart was modeled akin to his once you came into being. Not the same, mind you, but similar. You were his nobody, after all. You will always share a connection no matter where you two go or how often you are together. I believe you call him your 'brother', and he feels similar."
Roxas ignores the sting the wizard's words create. He presses on. "Is that why Naminé feels this too? Why does she feel differently? She cries instead of…" (Of wanting to beat your family to a pulp.)
"Apply the same principal," Yen Sid says. "Naminé was Kairi's nobody. Her heart contains the same connection to Kairi as yours does to Sora. Similar, but not the same. A connection of family we may call it."
"And why does she cry?"
"Because Kairi is crying."
Roxas feels as if all the air in the room has been sucked out because he can't seem to breathe. He clutches the armrests and screws his eyes shut. (Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Stay strong. Stay strong for her.)
(Roxas really feels like crying himself right now.)
"Kairi's despair comes in the form of sadness. Sadness and loneliness, and with Naminé having a similar heart, she has a similar reaction to the darkness. You, however, react with anger. Anger, and hatred. Fear manifests itself in many different ways."
Roxas powers himself through another round of deep breathing. There is air in the room. He just needs to force it into his lungs. "Ok. Ok…Ok. So how do we fix this?"
Yen Sid's eyes, in all their intensity, seem to sadden. "To vanquish this heartless, we need a light to combat one of the greatest being of darkness ever in existence."
"We need Kairi," Roxas says. "She is the strongest light ever, right? Isn't she?"
Yen Sid nods, but he doesn't look consoled. "She is the greatest light I have every known—at least as a single entity. When the Seven Guardians of Light came together, that was the only time it was greater in her."
"That's it then!" Roxas sounds almost chipper. "We just need to grab everybody and go over there and tackle this heartless with our light."
Yen Sid shakes his head. "I fear…I fear it may not be enough now. Because of the heartless's influence, it has tampered with your connections to one another. No matter how far down you dig, your connection to Sora will be tainted with hatred, and his will be as well. We cannot have that hatred in order to create the Light connection."
"What about our connection?" Roxas counters. "The connection Kairi and I have, our connection to one another. We—We're in love! Isn't that the ultimate light or whatever you call it? If I can get close enough for her to hear me, I can get her to reach her heart out to me and we can fix this!"
Yen Sid raises an eyebrow. "I see she has told you of her ability to reach out with her heart. I strictly told her she should…" The old wizard sighs when he sees Roxas's challenging glare. "No matter. I should have assumed she would tell the one she loves all she can do."
"Do you think it will work?" Roxas asks.
Yen Sid lightly tugs at his beard and remains silent long enough to make Roxas antsy. "Have you told her you love her?"
"Yes."
"Has she reciprocated the feeling?"
"Yes."
"I see. Have you kissed her yet?"
"Yes! What is with those questions? The King asked them too. What the heck do they have to do with this?"
"A connection of True Love is strongest at its milestones. You have already crossed two of the strongest ones. Unless you plan on shouting a proposal to her, I doubt it will break through." Yen Sid pauses. "Do you, perhaps—"
"No!" Roxas snaps. "That will happen in our own time." (Later. Definitely later, but definitely the plan.)
"Then I do not believe we would be able to—" Yen Sid jerks to his left to avoid the chair hurtling toward him. His baffled look to Roxas only intensifies when Roxas again points his keyblade at him.
"Do. Not. Doubt. Us." Roxas spits the words. "You and everyone else judges us. Well, I've had it! You're not the first person to doubt Kairi and me, what we have. But I swear to you, you will be the last. Bring me to her. We can figure it out ourselves. We are stronger than any of you realize—what we have is stronger than any darkness trying to break us. I know. I love her. And after being someone with no heart, who has felt the pit of absolutely nothing, I know how powerful love is. It is unbreakable. Even now. Especially now. Now either you'll help us, or you will get the hell out of my way!"
Yen Sid straightens up, and Roxas revels in the slightly baffled expression he dons. The wizard clears his throat. "I see. Perhaps you are right. I may…" He once again tugs at his beard. "Being the age I am, I have nearly forgotten the power of young love…yes, yes this is the correct path to try."
Yen Sid stands. He and Roxas meet halfway. "If you feel you have a strong enough grip on your pain to be able to once again see the others, I would like to regroup with them, and we can strategize how to best approach this."
Roxas meets the wizard's gaze without hesitation. "I'm ready."
Yen Sid quickly gathers the others. He and the King discuss the next step of the plan while everyone waits in the courtyard of the mansion. The reunion of the group had been quiet and awkward. No one said anything to Roxas, and Roxas didn't feel like mending the bridge right then.
(Roxas wonders if maybe they are affected by the darkness too. Everyone cares for Kairi. If she's hurting, no doubt they are too. Roxas tries to ignore the painful voice telling him he made things worse by yelling at everybody.)
Roxas stares at the tree line from where he's leaning against the brick wall bordering the mansion. He occupies his mind by counting the trees he sees. (It's not very effective, but what else can he do?)
Someone clearing their throat breaks his concentration. Roxas glances to see Lea.
"Hey, buddy. How are you doing?" he asks. The caution in his voice is almost laughable (but Roxas still isn't in the mood to laugh).
"Fine."
"Right." Lea takes the place next to Roxas. "Listen, I just wanted to let you know, none of us hold anything against you."
Roxas snorts. "I'm not asking forgiveness."
Lea gives a humorless laugh. "I'm well aware. But I know my best friend. And once we kick this thing, you're going to feel real crummy about yelling at everyone. And they feel pretty crummy themselves for the truth you yelled to them."
"Good."
Lea sighs. "We just have to be patient, you know? It will all pass. That's what I keep telling myself. No doubt you have your own coping mechanisms going on in that head of yours to keep you from going completely nuts like before." Lea pauses. It's a weighted pause. (Roxas mentally braces himself for whatever Lea plans on saying next.) "Hey, um, do you…do you know why you called me Axel?"
Roxas thinks a moment. Then—"Yes."
"Care to enlighten me?"
Roxas looks at Lea finally. (It hurts seeing the hesitant insecurity in his eyes.)
Might as well spit it out now.
"You're a connection to my past, to a time I was…when I felt insecure. I was never supposed to exist after all. When the heartless took hold, all I could think of was the worst in myself and in everyone else. The worst for you was when you were Axel, a member of Organization XIII and as emotionless as I was. This heartless—it sort of connects me back to that time."
Lea nods. He doesn't exactly appear happy, more like he's contemplating the words. "I can understand that."
"Like you said," Roxas adds, "you shouldn't take it personally, not while I'm connected to darkness."
This at least makes the corner of Lea's mouth turn up. "Fair enough. While on that note, someone else wants to talk to you."
"Not in the mood."
"You won't be in the mood for anything until we get rid of this thing, so just deal with it for now." Lea shakes a finger at Roxas, "but I'll be right there in case you need me, which means don't try any funny business. It was a pain in the butt trying to contain you the first time you went crazy. I'd rather not ever do that again."
Lea moves away from the wall and takes the couple steps to the wall's gate. He gestures and Roxas instantly feels his whole body tense. Sora doesn't look much happier. But he takes two hesitant yet deliberate steps forward yet keeps himself out of keyblade's reach.
Roxas glares at him then Lea. "This is a bad idea."
Lea laughs, to Roxas's surprise. "Yeah, I know, but Yen Sid mentioned that the more the air is cleared, the easier it will be for your heart to turn back to the light instead of festering in darkness."
"Awesome," Roxas deadpans.
"Like I said, I'm literally around the gate here. So is Terra. Riku's on standby. Don't make us break you two up, ok? Just talk." With that, Lea disappears behind the bricks.
Roxas whips his head back so he stares straight ahead at the trees. He crosses his arms and makes his hands into tight fists. He fills his lungs, then holds it, counts ten trees in front of him, then lets it go.
Sora looks as uncomfortable as he feels which is a small comfort, but he does look more in control than Roxas feels. (Perhaps because he is closer to Kairi's heart than Sora is. Small comfort considering how miserable he is.)
"I'm sor—"
"Save it," Roxas cuts him off. "Listen, I know we'll be hugging and apologizing as soon as this is all over, but I want you to apologize to Kairi, not me. Got it?" (Roxas hates how angry his words are, but he can't help it. He just wants the world to hurt with him—to hurt as much as Kairi is so they realize how pressing time is in order to save her.)
"Fine," Sora says. He stares at the ground, and Roxas wonders if he's trying to contain his anger too. "I just…I wanted to talk."
"About what?"
"I don't know. I don't like how we ended things. This anger, it's not me. It's not us."
"I know, which is also why we should wait to really talk until after we get rid of this darkness."
"Right, I get that, but…" Sora scratches the back of his head, but it looks like more of a twitchy motion than usual. (It's the small things that really show the internal battle.) "I'm happy for you and Kairi."
Roxas snorts.
"I am! You just need to listen for one second and—" Sora runs his hands through his hair and glares at the sky before relaxing and trying again. "When we were in the Twilight Town woods, I thought…I felt that creeping feeling and I thought…well, I know now it was the heartless, but I figured at the time because of my negative feelings, if we went back to the mission without me talking to Kairi right then and there in order to clear the air, I thought we would be vulnerable to an attack. You and Kairi were clearly happy together. I didn't think you two were in any danger. I thought I was."
Roxas actually looks at Sora finally. Sora takes this as encouragement and continues. "I was hurt when I found out, I won't lie. I'd never had an angry reaction to being hurt ever, but it happened then, and I'm ashamed of it. I just kept pushing." The sour look on Sora's face shows the amount of self-loathing pain he is currently wallowing in. "By trying to protect myself I didn't think about hurting you I figured the danger would recede because I would feel better, therefore, the heartless wouldn't attack."
Sora sighs, and Roxas can almost feel the exhaustion of it all rolling off of him. Roxas decides to participate. "I have to ask, what do you really think of Kairi and I's relationship? And don't lie. We're connected right now. I can feel when you're bitter."
Sora moves so he is leaning against the wall as well. "It's…I…I'm hurt, a bit, I'll admit. I always kind of thought Kairi and I would end up together." Sora lets out a bit of a laugh. "I thought Riku was my biggest competition, but then he and Naminé fell in love, and I figured, great! No more competition so no rush. She can get settled into her place in Radiant Garden, I'll finish up my time working for the King, and then maybe move forward. I never felt a rush for it."
"And that's where you made a mistake," Roxas says.
Roxas expects Sora to get angry at the jabbing comment but Sora only nods. "And that's where I made a mistake. But…maybe it wasn't a mistake. Maybe it was meant to be. I mean, if we did try a relationship, would we have found the same connection you and Kairi have now? I always thought we did, after the paopu fruit and everything, but this—" Sora grips his clothes over his heart, "—plainly shows you have a stronger connection to her now than I ever did."
Sora's (still yellow) eyes are distant (and are those tears?). "I…I understand—I do! I was ready to accept your relationship then and there, but then…that sickness I felt got so much worse, and it took over. It's like I couldn't stop the absolute worst thoughts I ever had from escaping. That's the best way I can explain it." Sora looks at Roxas. "But you at least know what I'm talking about."
Roxas stares at him. The overwhelmingness of it all has his mind clinging to the basics. He holds out his hand. "Brothers?"
Sora's smile is weak, but present. "Brothers. Always."
Roxas returns the smile.
But then—
Lea and Terra rush around the corner when they hear those terrible sounds. (Riku stays behind the wall, holding up a nearly unconscious Naminé). It's not a fight they see, though that might have been preferred. Roxas and Sora are both on the ground, writhing in agony, shouting in pain. Sora has tears streaming down his cheeks as he clutches at the blades of grass before him. Roxas nearly tears his clothes trying to rid himself of the feeling in his chest.
The commotion summons the others. Donald and Goofy kneel beside Sora while Xion hovers around Roxas. Nobody has any idea how to help.
"There's little we can do," Yen Sid says grimly. "The discussion must have gone well because the heartless felt the need to ruin the good will."
The King's face is pale. "We need to move. Immediately. But how do we—?"
"I can do it!" Roxas shouts through the pain. Three people talk at once and Roxas isn't sure who tries to tell him things. He pushes through their words like he pushes through the pain. He manages to get to his feet. His vision is blurred and he's sweating, but he stands tall when he says, "Just get me to Kairi. I'll fix this."
A/N: I'm sorry it took so long! There was a TON to sift through in order to make things clear. I hope I did. If there's something confusion, feel free to let me know and I'll try to edit and make things clearer.
I appreciate each and every one of you who support this story! Thank you so much for everything!
Two more chapters to go!