Severus did his best to nurse his traditional post-Halloween hangover. He knew it wasn't healthy to drink himself near a coma once a year, but the loss he felt still hurt all these years later.

He no longer harboured any illusions about his romantic compatibility with Lily. Yes, he did love her, but he sincerely doubted that any serious relationship between them would have worked out. Even knowing that, though, her loss still cut deep. He hadn't ever had any meaningful friendships outside of the one he botched with her. The longing he had felt for ages had long since been replaced with a sorrowful regret that she passed on with so much bad blood between them.

He cursed the Dark Lord's name once again, though this time for a less personal reason. Much as the personal loss of Lily Evans, his only true friend, hurt, it was nothing compared to how the magical world suffered from the loss of Lily Evans, potions and charms mistress, and veritable genius.

Severus was one of the most skilled potions masters in the world, and Lily's skill at the subject outstripped his by leaps and bounds. He owed most of his knowledge to her, and he even published several papers based on discoveries she never got around to making public. Of course, all those papers were published anonymously, with all profits going to the Lily Potter foundation for Muggleborn students. He wasn't a monster, hard as he found it to believe most of the time.

And speaking of Potters…

Severus was not happy about it, but he was finally prepared to admit that there was a slight possibility that perhaps Harry Potter was not an exact duplicate of the boy's father. Maybe.

Admitting that made his hangover worse.

It made his refusal to have anything to do with his house seem petty. Which, frankly, it probably was.

Harry Potter hated his fame in a way that James Potter never would have. He often isolated himself in the library with Granger, his only friend. Seeing a lonely half-blood boy with a muggleborn as his only friend, well, it managed to hit Severus uncomfortably close to home.

Harry Potter was rubbish at transfiguration, which was James Potter's best subject. Harry Potter was also skilled at potions. He was no Lily Evans, but he was leagues better than James Bloody Potter. The boy's skill at combat spells seemed to come out of nowhere, but, as Professor Raven once told him during his fifth year, heredity and magic was not always as straightforward as one would hope.

Really, of all the new students in his house, he would never have guessed Davis would be the top potions student of their year. That girl was a wildcard through and through.

Looking back on everything in the past two months, Severus was forced to admit that distancing himself from his house was looking increasingly petty. Probably because it was petty.

Severus's head throbbed in pain again.

He was in no state to address his house now, but he could manage it later this evening, he supposed. Things couldn't have gotten too bad, right?

"Go. Away."

Ron tried not to flinch at Harry's cold tone. He knew he'd seriously bollocksed up any chance of friendship with Harry after his temper got away from him, but it was still a shock to see the cold indifference in the other boy's eyes.

"Look, I just-"

"I don't like bullies, Weasley. I've dealt with them my whole life, and I'm disappointed to see you act like one."

"I know-"

"If you knew, maybe you shouldn't have said something in the first place."

"But-" Ron tried to speak for the fourth time, only to find himself cut off by a length of wood pointed at his face.

"Walk away, Weasley."

Well, Ron promised himself that he would make an earnest attempt to apologise, but only if it didn't get him a wand in his face. The time to back down was clearly now.

As he walked past one of the hallway's many alcoves a voice sounded from behind him.

"I told you that wasn't likely to work, Ron."

Ron whirled around. "Susan?" He asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Watching you muck up your social life, apparently. You really should get a hold of that temper of yours."

"Hmph." Ron crossed his arms. "You didn't have to come here to mock me."

Susan laughed at that. "Me telling you that you need to reign in your temper is based on personal experience. The other girls in my dorm dislike me. You and Wayne are the only 'puffs in our year that I've yet to put off. You know what they say about us redheads, after all."

"Um, no?"

"We have bad tempers? Because the red hair makes us fiery?"

"…And I thought Fred and George told bad jokes."

Susan harrumphed. "No one appreciates my sense of humour."

"How'd it go?" Hermione asked.

"It's hard being mean." Harry replied. "I really don't dislike Ron. He's a nice enough bloke, but I just…"

"Don't see him as a positive influence? See him as lazy and entitled? Can't respect his lack of intelligence?"

Harry gave Hermione a look. "That's much harsher than anything I would have said."

Hermione sniffed. "Perhaps his insults cut deeper than you thought. I have no fondness for that boy."

"I don't dislike him, but I'd rather not hand out second chances if people won't change. Ron was already on thin ice after the sorting. I suppose I understand your points, though, even if I don't agree. Well, what's done is done, I suppose. Now let's go; I'd rather not attract Snape's ire by being late to class."

"Gatherer, give me an update on our attempts to secure additional information networks."

"The ghosts are a dead end, Dark Mistress. Apparently, they refuse any sort of espionage, as that 'interferes too heavily in the world of the living'."

"Disappointing. What of the portraits?"

"The portraits are bound by the wards to only report to certain people. We've identified the headmaster as one such person, but have yet to determine any of the others. Several people within our command are looking to see if there are alternative ways to crack the ward scheme in our favour. We're currently trying to negotiate with the Weasley twins, as we suspect that their knowledge of the school may be the result of such ward-cracking."

"That will be most impressive if it pays out. See to it that I am not disappointed. Now, who's next on the list?"

"Several students wanting to purchase the answers to Binns' tests. Thus far, our use of anti-scrying charms has ensured that everyone interested needs to purchase their own copy."

"Excellent. Bring them in."

Harry and Hermione were doing their best to finish their potions essay. Earlier in the term, Harry thought that Hermione was being obsessive by insisting on doing assignments the day they were assigned. He was forced to admit that she had a point, though. It was extremely liberating to have all of the schoolwork done when the weekend rolled around. Not that said freedom affected their schedule much. Harry and Hermione spent most of their free time in the library, the same place they did most of their homework.

Harry surreptitiously pulled his wand out of his pocket as he heard someone approaching their table. Threatening would-be well-wishers at wandpoint had become an unfortunately common occurrence, but Harry was growing increasingly tired of being accosted.

Pointing his wand in the direction of the intruder, Harry spoke. "I'm haven't spoken to anyone else about being the 'boy-who-lived', and you aren't about to be the first. Leave."

Normally, people made themselves scarce at that point. He was not prepared for the response.

"Aw, is that any way to talk to your new friend, Potter?"

Harry looked up. "Davis? What do you want?"

"I want to be friends. We're friends now."

Harry shared a glance with Hermione. "I thought friendship was supposed to be mutual. Don't we get a say in this newfound 'friendship'?"

"Nope! I said we're friends, therefore we are friends. You can't escape me that easily."

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but Greengrass cut her off.

"Whatever you're about to say, trust me, it won't work. She did the same thing to me years ago and I still can't get rid of her."

"So, what?" Hermione said. "We have no say in the matter at all?"

"Absolutely none!" Davis exclaimed.

"You're a real piece of work, aren't you, Davis?" Harry asked.

"You have no idea…" Greengrass muttered.

"Please," Tracey said, "since we're friends now, I think we should be on a first name basis. Don't you agree, Harry?"

Harry saw Daphne mouthing "just agree" behind Davis's (or rather, Tracey's) back.

Harry sighed. "Sure, whatever."

"Great! And since you're friends with me and I'm friends with Daphne, Daphne's also your friend. And since friends help each other, Daphne here has offered to tutor you in pureblood customs and etiquette!"

"What makes you think we need that tutoring, Dav- …Tracey?"

Tracey's grin spread even wider, if that was possible. "Because you two were both raised in muggle households with no awareness of our world."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I'm observant, Harry. I know how to watch people for cues and tells."

"Also, because you paid Parvati for info." Daphne added

"Daaaaaph! You weren't supposed to tell them that part! …Anyways, Daphne was taught all of these stuffy pureblood rules from birth, so she'll be a great tutor, probably."

"I started when I was seven." Daphne interjected.

"Same thing. Anyways, Daphne will be tutoring you out of the good of her heart. Also, you guys made a mistake in your potions assignment. Bubotuber pus is caustic, not acidic."

Hermione's gaze shot to the parchment in front of her. "How did you…?"

Tracey just winked. "Who knows? Maybe I'll tell some of my good friends later on… Anyways, have fun working out their tutoring schedule, Daph. I have some other schemes I need to take care of. Ta ta!"

As Tracey left them behind, Daphne slumped down at the table. "Given how excitable that girl is, it's easy to forget that she was put in Slytherin for a reason." She said dejectedly.

Theodore decided that he hated politics. He hated having to pretend to like people that were "useful". He hated having to "network", and "trade favours", and just… everything! He hated it! Sure, he agreed with his father about having to protect wizarding culture from outside influence, but Theo didn't want to be on the front lines of that conflict! He wanted to be a healer, for the powers' sakes! Not some powers-be-damned politician!

But no, his father specifically requested that he play politics at school because "that was what true Slytherins did". He was finding that he cared less and less what "true Slytherins did". Most of the his house hated him after Smith showed him up, mostly for acting on such a poorly thought out plan. A vast majority saw him as some foolish upstart, and Flint, one of the few who supported him, was now livid that he'd lost face.

Maybe he should take a page out of everyone else's book and just start hexing people who looked at him funny in the common room.

"You have one task to complete before I begin teaching you etiquette." Greengrass began. "You two need to memorise this."

She dropped two enormous tomes on the table, the resulting thud reverberating through the nearby shelves.

"I've never seen this book before…" Hermione commented, looking at the cover, which read "A Pureblood Genealogy".

"It's hard to obtain. If the library has any copies, then it's likely to be in the restricted section. Self-updating books are expensive and tricky like that."

Harry saw Hermione's brain building up a flurry of questions for later. Just as it looked like she was about to start asking, Greengrass cut her off.

"Let me know when you're done memorising the book." Greengrass said, opening a novel from her bag to its bookmarked page.

They had to memorise it? Harry stared anxiously at the enormous tome. Well, thinking about it wasn't going to do him any good.

Harry began reading through. It didn't take him long to realise the pureblood genealogy was complicated and… rather inbred. Harry flipped through several of the pages, trying to get a feel for each family. It looked like this huge family called the Black family became especially inbred in the past two centuries, and some small family called the Gaunts looked to have bred themselves out of existence.

The fact that there was so much interbreeding, though, well, it made the task of memorisation much harder. It wasn't as simple as memorising a family tree and much as it was memorising a complicated web. This was made even more complicated by the fact that people didn't have children at the same ages, making for lots of weird generational gaps. Harry tracked down his own family, and discovered that he and Malfoy's mum shared a set of great-grandparents, despite the difference in their ages. (Being related to Malfoy was an odd enough thought on its own without the odd generation stuff mixed in)

Harry did his best to memorise the book's information, but there was so much information and everyone's ancestry was so mixed up that he found himself giving up after half an hour.

"Greengrass-" He started.

"You may call me Daphne." She interrupted.

"Daphne, then," he said, "Do you really expect us to be able to memorise this whole thing?"

"I memorised it."

"How?"

"Dedication and a bit of rudimentary occlumency."

"…What's occlumency?"

"Internal mind magic. It's focused on the organisation and protection of the mind. It helps protect the mind from intruders, allow better control of one's emotions, and improves focus and memorisation. I used the latter aspect to help me memorise the book."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "If you used some special mind magic to help memorise this book, which I doubt you did in a single sitting, then why do you expect Hermione and I to do so in one sitting without said magic?"

"I didn't."

"You… didn't?"

"Of course not. This was just a test of your patience."

"…Oh."

"You failed that test, in case it wasn't clear."

Harry groaned. "I got that, thanks." He said sarcastically.

"You're welcome."

"That was- …nevermind." Harry said before muttering under his breath, "Why are all the weird people drawn to me?"

Ten minutes later, Hermione put down the book.

"Done." She announced.

Harry was unsurprised by this, of course. He'd seen her memorise huge books before. Daphne, however, regarded Hermione's proclamation with more uncertainty.

"You memorised it. That whole book. In forty minutes?"

"Yeah," Harry answered for her, "She does this kind of stuff all the time. The reason she's so good at homework is because she's memorised all of the reference books ahead of time."

"Prove it," Daphne said, "Name all of the living lines descended from the founders."

"Ravenclaw only had one daughter with no children of her own. Slytherin has no living heirs with the extinction of the Gaunt family. Hufflepuff's has several remaining lines, but the Smith and Dumbledore families are the most prominent. Gryffindor sired to many heirs to even bother counting."

"Fair enough. Now name everyone disowned from the Black family within the past century."

"Sirius Black was never formally disowned, but he was banned from the family dwellings. Andromeda Tonks was cast out for marrying a muggleborn. Dorea Potter was cast out for marrying a Potter. Cedrella Weasley was cast out for marrying a Weasley. Indus Black was disowned for refusing to kill a squib he sired."

Daphne's eyes narrowed again. "You got every one of those correct down to the details. Granger, what goes on in your head when you memorise books?"

"Oh, well when I was younger, I wanted to be able to remember a book perfectly at any time, and eventually, I started visualising a library in my head. If I focus on the library while I read the book, then I can remember the book perfectly later."

Daphne stared at Hermione in disbelief. After a moment of staring, she let her head fall to the table.

"And to think," she said, "I wanted to hang out with you two because I thought you would be normal friends."

"Hey!" Hermione snapped. "What's wrong with what I do?"

Daphne's head shot up. "What's wrong? What's wrong!? What's wrong is that you have somehow managed to build a Morrigan-damned mindscape, completely by accident!"

"A what?" Harry and Hermione asked simultaneously.

"A mindscape is… It's the most advanced achievement of occlumency possible. It's a magical mental construct that gives perfect memory and recall. It's also extraordinarily challenging to make. Few masters of the art ever make one. And you." She turned to Hermione, "Made one. By accident!"

Hermione didn't seem to know how to respond. "Um… Sorry?"

Daphne just groaned and let her head fall back to the table.

"Why is my life like this?" She moaned.

Tracey was giddy with excitement as she made her way back to the common room. It had taken a lot of persuasion and money on her part, as well as some info from Parvati, but she had convinced the Weasley twins to provide her with one of their experimental self-duplicating fireworks.

Tracey walked into the common room, lit the firework with a whispered Incendio, and dropped it behind one of the occupied sofas. She settled herself with her back to the wall to watch the mayhem as it started. The moment the firework lit, several students reflexively raised shields, and others fired in the direction the noise came from. Within moments, the room was in total chaos.

The fireworks were ingenious in their design. What started as a simple spinner had divided into mortars, rockets, and firecrackers, each one splitting further. Fred and George said that this prototype should last for around an hour, so everything would be interesting for quite a while.

It was moments like this that made all of her planning and scheming worthwhile. Moments where she could just watch everything dissolve into absolute anarchy.

Tracey adored the atmosphere of chaos, and took a few moments to just soak it in. It was beautiful.

Daphne, Harry, and Hermione took this moment to enter the common room.

"C'mon guys!" She greeted them. "Let's have some fun and get a piece of the action.

Severus approached the Slytherin common room. He'd tried to find a way to save as much face in the process, but he decided it was better to bite the bullet and deal with his… absence sooner rather than later.

He composed himself in front of the common room entrance before opening the door.

Whatever Severus expected when he opened the door, it wasn't to be blasted with conjured smoke.

He began clearing the smoke away, and the scene inside the common room was utter chaos.

Potter and Granger were taking cover behind a couch, trading spells with several students who were likewise taking cover behind furniture. Davis was casting fire spells at numerous fireworks around the room, causing them to duplicate, and Greengrass…

Greengrass had Smith magically pinned to a wall, her wand pointed between his spread legs.

"Glacius!" She yelled, freezing the wall between his legs.

"Next time you call me the 'Ice Queen'," She continued speaking, "I won't miss. Don't forget this lesson, Smith."

Severus had seen enough. He cast a silent Sonorous to amplify his voice and yelled to get their attention.

"What the devil is going on here!?"

Snape grabbed one of the prefects and dragged her out of the common room.

"Now tell me that wasn't fun while it lasted?" Tracey asked the others.

She was met with three expressions of disbelief.

"So much fun…" She hummed blissfully, ignoring her friends' ire.

"Is she always like that?" Harry whispered to Daphne.

"Yes."

"And we're stuck with her now?"

"Welcome to the club."

"…Great."

"Miss Farley." Snape drawled. "Do you know why you are here?"

Gemma Farley shifted on her chair, her discomfort at being under Snape's glare clearly visible.

"No, sir." She intoned as neutrally as she could manage.

"Six weeks ago, you came to my office against my orders to inform me that there was an issue in Slytherin house. Does this ring any bells?"

"Yes, sir."

"When I walked into the… mess in the common room, you were the only one present who was not involved in the fighting. You were also the only person who saw fit to try and inform me about the goings-on of the house I was supposed to be in charge of. In light of these events and your prefect status, you are the only person I can trust to give me an unbiased accounting of what happened in my absence."

"Thank you sir." Gemma felt confident enough now that she began to straighten her posture.

"So… What is the situation in Slytherin house?"

Gemma thought through all the ways she could reply.

"It's a shitshow, sir."

Snape sighed. "I was afraid of that. Give me all the sordid details."

A/N: Any time I write Tracey, she becomes more Tracey.

I'm throwing Snape a bone here. Canon Snape is awful. My Snape is still petty, and by no means a good person, but I'm reigning in his worst characteristics and giving him some redeeming ones.

Don't expect the fact that Hermione has a mindscape to make her an occlumency prodigy. Mindscapes are supposed to be learned last for a reason. You'll find out more about it early in book two.

I threw in several references this chapter. The line about magic and heredity and its accreditation to "Professor Raven" is from El Goonish Shive, one of my favourite webcomics. Snape's "What the devil is going on here!?" line is an obvious reference to A Very Potter Musical. Dumbledore being a descendant of Hufflepuff is a reference to LonelyHarvest's fic, Child of Azkaban.

Since several people have asked, I have already decided on the fic's pairings, and I will not be commenting on them until they start happening in year four, so any questions about pairings will go unanswered.

My grammar editor had to deal with the death of a family friend, so they were not able to assist me with this chapter. I probably missed some awkward phrasing here and there.