It was done. It was all done.

Albus sighed in relief at the lack of uncompleted parchmentwork on his desk. At long last, he was free. Riding his celebratory mood, he poured himself a small shot of firewhisky and downed it in one gulp.

There were only a few days left until most of the students would be leaving for the holidays, but Albus could easily introduce his own brand of insanity to a portion of the student population.

Albus opened the drawer on his desk where he stored all of the items he used in his antics. He was about to do an inventory when he realised what the topmost item in the drawer was.

The Potter family invisibility cloak. The one that was almost certainly a Deathly Hallow.

And Albus completely forgot to return it.

Oh, sure, he meant to return it in the first few weeks of school, but then Lucius kept coming in and his work backlog kept growing, and eventually…

Well, returning it just slipped his mind.

And giving it back at this point would just be embarrassing, really.

Christmas was coming up, and if memory served, then young Harry was staying back at the castle. Albus should be able to slip the invisibility cloak in with the rest of Harry's presents. He could also leave it with an unaddressed note. That seemed like an appropriately mysterious way to go about it while avoiding the embarrassment of admitting he forgot to do something important.

Christmas was still over a week away, though, so Albus had plenty of time to amuse himself until then. What had been happening in the castle while he'd been busy…?

Well, it seemed that the Weasley twins were attempting to get to the end of the third floor corridor gauntlet. Perhaps he should show up just as they were leaving and talk about chocolate frogs and their delightful collector's cards. That seemed like a good way to spend his day.

Padma Patil's eyes glazed over as she read through the history text. She'd never struggled with reading about history before she came to Hogwarts, but then, she hadn't been attending Binns' class before attending Hogwarts. Binns' class was so boring that she found herself falling asleep at the mere mention of history. Her brain now associated an entire field of study with sleep. Term exams were tomorrow, and she couldn't even study the book properly. This was unacceptable.

"It's hopeless." She complained to Mandy. "There is no way I can stay awake long enough to memorise the important sections of this book."

"Yeah, Binns' ability to make anything boring is ridiculous." Mandy replied. "I gave up on studying the book a while ago, and just bought one of the cheat-sheets everyone else is using."

"Cheat sheets?"

Mandy nodded. "Yeah, it contains a rundown of every piece of material that appears on the test. It's pretty convenient, if a tad pricey."

"May I see yours?" Padma asked.

Mandy shrugged. "Sure, not that it will do you any good."

Padma stared at the indecipherable symbols on the parchment Mandy gave her. "I can't make heads or tails of this." She said after repeatedly attempting to understand what she was looking at.

"Yeah, the distributor made them so that they're illegible to anyone besides the person who bought them. They said it increases profit margins, since it prevents sharing and copying."

"Well that's annoying. Where can I buy one myself?"

"I don't know, I had Su buy mine." Mandy turned around and shouted across the room. "Hey Su! Padma wants to buy a cheat sheet! Where'd you get it!?"

Su raised an eyebrow at Mandy's yelling, but told an upper year named "Carmichael" that he was needed.

A sixth year with light brown hair and an unremarkable face walked up to Padma and began talking to her. "I'm afraid I've exhausted my personal supply of guides, but if you would be willing to accompany me to the Dark Mistress's lair, then I can easily get a sheet keyed to you."

Padma really didn't want to take a trek through the school, but the temptation of not having to study the textbook for the history exams was far too tempting for her to pass up.

"Fine," she said, "lead the way."

Carmichael gave a short bow, and then led her out of the common room and down through the castle's many floors.

"So, uh…" Padma wasn't sure exactly where to start with this dude. He was a bit weird. "Where exactly are we going?"

"To the Dark Mistress's lair, in the dungeons."

"You certainly seem… loyal to her."

Carmichael shrugged. "She may be young, but she has great vision. I never realised the power of information until she started looking for people for her network. It was an eye opening speech that she gave."

"…Sure." Yeah, he was definitely weird.

Eventually, they reached a classroom with two students standing guard outside. Carmichael gestured for Padma to stay outside, so stay she did. Honestly, it seemed easier not to ask questions. She knew that asking questions was a Ravenclaw trait, and denying it would be poor for her house image, but this was just to… odd for her to even know where to start.

After a few minutes, Carmichael stuck his head out of the door. "The Dark Mistress of Knowledge will see you now."

Padma just wanted her damn study guide. She was seriously wondering if this ordeal was worth it.

The room she entered was… a bit garish. The whole thing was covered in deep crimson banners, and the room was lit exclusively with bluebell flames. It was painful to look at, honestly. At the end of the room, someone had put a stepping stool up to an old teacher's desk, then put a chair on top of the desk. Whoever set this place up had questionable taste.

A small figure in a dark cloak sat atop the chair, clearly trying and failing to look regal. After staring down at Padma for a bit, the figure spoke. "Welcome, Miss Patil, to the Nexus of Knowledge. All information in Hogwarts is available here, for those willing to pay the fee."

Padma froze. She knew that voice. She knew it because it was almost identical to her own. She groaned. "What the hell are you doing, Parvati?"

Parvati hissed. "That's the Dark Mistress of Knowledge to you, whelp! And for your information, I am setting the foundations for my new empire. You always criticized me for my fixation on gossip, but know I have a network of spies at my command and countless people coming to me for information. Who's useless now, Padma!?"

Padma… really did not want to deal with this. She wasn't exceptionally fond of her sister on most days, but this? This was just… Well, Padma didn't know what it was, but whatever it was, it was clearly too much of it.

"Who even gave you this idea?" Padma asked. "I mean, seriously, 'The Dark Mistress of Knowledge'? That's not a stellar name, you know. And I really hope that the decorations weren't your idea, because they're kind of hideous."

"Padmaaaaa!" Parvati pouted, petulance leaking into her tone. "You're embarrassing me in front of my minions!"

Oh dear gods, she actually considered them her minions. Padma was officially not prepared to deal with this. She'd let their parents sort it out over the holidays.

"Look, Parvati, I just want the answers to Binns' first year term exam."

"…Fine. Gatherer, fetch a copy and have it keyed to Miss Patil. I will discuss payment with her in the meantime."

Carmichael gave another brief bow and exited to a side room.

"How'd you even get the keying done?" Padma asked. "That's way beyond first-year material."

"Countless people will offer their services for the right price. Speaking of prices… This will not be free."

"Do I have to talk to mum and dad about this?"

Parvati hissed again. "You lack vision! You all lack vision! I am building an empire, here!"

"Fine, whatever." Padma just wanted out of her sister's madhouse at this point. "How much?"

"Five Galleons."

"Five Galleons!? You're gouging me!"

"Well, where else do you plan on getting your answers? Believe me, the answers are not so easy to come by after I started mass-production."

"Fine, whatever, take your five galleons!" Padma foisted off most of her money is to her sister's waiting hands. "This better be worth it."

"The Dark Mistress always delivers…" Parvati said, trying very hard to sound ominous. She clapped her hands, and Carmichael came back out of the side room with a piece of parchment that was then coded to Padma by another student she didn't recognise.

"Alright, you got your money, and I got my overpriced answer sheet. Anything else?"

Parvati nodded from beneath her hood. "You may go. Although, if you find my prices objectionable, perhaps you should have a better attitude next time you arrive."

She was getting gouged! By her own sister!

Padma bristled as she left the room. "I am so bringing this to our parents' attention…" She muttered to herself.

Harry waved at his friends as they left for the Hogsmeade train station to go back home for the winter holidays. It left him feeling more morose than he expected. He'd been alone for his entire childhood, but now, after having friends for a few months, he was beginning to realise just how much he would miss them.

He sighed and began the long walk back to the common room. These next few weeks were going to suck.

Just after he entered the common room, a pair of hands grabbed onto his shoulders and a voice said "Boo!" into his ear.

Harry barely managed to stop himself from elbowing his "attacker" before he recognised the voice.

"What are you doing here, Tracey? I thought you were going home for the holidays?"

Tracey shrugged and gave her trademark lopsided grin. "My mom was called away on a last minute business trip, so I'm staying here."

"And she wasn't able to tell you until you'd already left for the station?"

Tracey waved her hand dismissively. "Nah, she told me a few days ago. I just wanted to surprise you. You won't be the only Slytherin here for the holidays! Surprise!"

"I saw you leave, though!"

"Oh, I left through the main entrance, then walked around to the greenhouses so I could re-enter the castle there. It wouldn't have been much of a surprise if you didn't actually think I was leaving, after all."

Harry facepalmed. "Right. You at least remembered to tell Daphne and Hermione, right?"

The amount of time it took Tracey to reply was I the answer he needed.

"…I knew I forgot something." She said.

"I'd offer to send an owl to let them know, but I really don't want to head all the way up to the eighth floor just to fix your mistake."

"Eh, they'll be fine. Worst case scenario, they worry about what sort of mayhem I'm about to cause while they can't keep an eye on me."

"So… What does your mum do, anyways?" Harry asked.

"She's a businesswoman, or something like that."

"…Or something like that?" Harry asked, seeking clarification.

Tracey shrugged. "Yeah. That's what she always tells me. She's never been too specific about what she does."

"…Right. And your dad?"

"He mostly just follows mom around and does odd jobs wherever she has business."

"How… How long are your mum's business trips?"

"Usually a few months. Why?"

Harry didn't even know where to start with this girl. Was her entire life as odd as she was? It would certainly help explain things.

"Where'd Tracey go?" Hermione asked as she and Daphne settled into a compartment.

"I'm not sure, but if I were you, I'd enjoy the reprieve while it lasts." Daphne said before muttering "It never lasts…"

The two girls fell into silence, mulling over what sorts of chaos Tracey was planning.

"Well," Hermione said, "Whatever she does, I hope we don't get caught up in it."

"I feel much the same way."

More silence filled the compartment.

"You know, I think this is the first time it's been just the two of us together." Hermione commented.

"Yes, I believe you are correct."

"I don't think I realised just how much Harry and Tracey commandeer our conversations until just now."

"They are far more talkative than the two of us." Daphne observed.

Another bout of silence stretched on for a few minutes.

"It's nice." Hermione said. "I like having some silence once in a while."

"Perhaps we should hang out together more often?" Daphne proposed. "Just the two of us?"

"I think I'd like that." Hermione replied.

Hermione took the moment to soak in the peaceful atmosphere of the compartment, the silence broken only by the idle noise of the train.

"Yes," she said, a contented smile stretching across her face. "I definitely think I'd like that."

Albus had been very busy since he caught up on his work.

At that moment, he was busy trying to build a tower out of lemon drops without using magic.

It required immense focus. His current attempt was twelve lemon drops tall, four better than his previous record of eight.

Alas, his progress was interrupted when Severus slammed the door to his office open, knocking down his small tower of sweets.

Sighing in exasperation, Albus addressed his visitor. "Yes, Severus?"

Severus fixed him with a glare. "Quirrell has been snooping around the third floor corridor." He said abruptly.

Albus's eyebrows shot up. "Has he really? He doesn't seem the type… Well, no matter, just keep an eye on things. Let me know if he's at risk of ruining anything so I can intervene."

Albus picked up a lemon drop from the pile on his desk and began a new attempt at building a tower. Severus merely scowled at him.

"Headmaster." Snape spoke through gritted teeth. "Do you think that you should perhaps take this a bit more seriously?"

Albus waved the man off. "Honestly, Severus, it's no big deal. The gauntlet is perfectly safe." He said. Honestly, why all of his staff were in such a tizzy over the gauntlet, he had no idea.

Severus huffed loudly before storming out, slamming the door behind him.

An act which, once again, knocked over his new attempt at a lemon drop tower.

At least Severus didn't interrupt a record, that time. Albus grabbed a lemon drop from his desk and started over.

Parvati was able to make out the familiar form of her mother amongst the crowd of Platform 9¾. Not that it was very difficult. Most of the population of Magical Britain wore black robes, while her mother tended to wear bright and colourful sarees.

Padma, ever the serious one, greeted her with a cordial "mother" and a loose hug. Parvati gave her mum a much tighter hug.

As they worked their way through the crowds to the public floo, their asked how their term went. And then Padma squealed on her.

"It was going fine until Parvati gouged me on some study materials. She charged me five galleons for a study guide!"

Parvati scowled at her sister. "If you didn't like the price, you could have just gone without! It's not like I forced you to buy my certified cheat sheets!"

Their mum raised an eyebrow. "What's this about cheating?"

Parvati shook her head. "It's a muggle term I picked up from some of my gatherers-"

"And that's the other thing!" Padma interrupted. "She's got minions now! Parvati's going dark, mother! Being in Slytherin has corrupted her!"

"I run a legitimate business!" Parvati said defensively.

"You charged me 5 galleons for a study guide!"

"You embarrassed me in front of my gatherers! You need to learn that actions have consequences, and that insulting someone who has something you want is not a good choice under any circumstance!" Honestly, wasn't Padma supposed to be the smart one?

"I don't care what your gossip-mongering minions think about you! Why they willingly follow you is beyond me!"

"You're a Ravenclaw. You recognise that knowledge has power. What you don't realise is that knowledge also has value. People pay for it, even down to juicy tidbits of gossip. I was just able to realise the power that a centralised network granted. They came to me because I love gossip, but they followed me because I have vision. I can see potential where they can't. Why wouldn't they follow someone like that? Someone who can show them that their ability to gather info has value if coordinated properly?"

Their mum sighed. "I can see that I am going to have to have a long talk with your father when he gets home this evening." Padma looked smug for a moment before their mum added "To both of you, but especially you, Parvati."

Parvati hoped her father would understand just what she was accomplishing. He could be a bit of a traditionalist, but surely even he could see that value and potential of what she was doing? She had tamed the Hogwarts rumour mill and brought it under her thumb! One of the most rampant and unavoidable aspects of Hogwarts was now effectively at her beck and call! She was only eleven, to boot! Parvati salivated at the thought of what sort of power and knowledge she could collect once she was free to move beyond Hogwarts.

A disillusioned Albus Dumbledore moved silently into the Slytherin common room and placed the package on one of the piles of gifts. The Potter family invisibility cloak was wrapped in plain brown paper and contained an anonymous note written with a dictaquill. No one would be any wiser that he forgot to return the cloak for over three months.

It was the perfect crime.

Of all the ways Harry expected to be woken up on Christmas morning, having cold water dumped on him wasn't one of them.

"What the hell!" He swore as he bolted upright.

Though he couldn't identify his attacker's appearance without his glasses, he'd recognise her cackle anywhere.

"That was great!" Tracey laughed. "Now, go take a shower to warm up, then we can open presents!"

"Why do I put up with you?" Harry asked.

"Because you're a brave and noble person who can see the heart of gold beneath my prickly exterior?"

Harry glared at her.

"Fine." She said "Now go shower. I'm sure you're cold."

"No thanks to you. Now get out of my dorm."

"In that case, I'll be impatiently waiting down in the common room. Try and keep it quick."

"I wouldn't need to shower until after presents if someone hadn't dumped cold water on me!" He shouted at her as she left.

As Harry stood under the hot water in his shower, he wondered if having Tracey around was really worse than being alone for the holidays.

…It probably wasn't. He didn't do well with isolation. His isolation at the Dursleys' had made him develop a lot of bad habits. Habits he was doing his best to quash. Two weeks of isolation might cause him to relapse back into some of those habits.

Brushing aside the depressing thoughts of his lack of childhood, Harry climbed out of the shower, and cast several drying charms at himself. Despite his best efforts, his hair remained a mess, though he'd long since given up hope on fixing that aspect of his appearance. He would swear that it even retained its messiness while it was wet.

Harry entered the common room and took note of the two piles of presents sitting beneath a tree decorated in silver and emerald.

"They really stick with the house colours, don't they?" He mused.

"There you are!" Tracey shouted. "You took foreeeeever!"

Harry rolled his eyes at Tracey's antics. "Let's just open our presents so we can get breakfast."

Harry quickly went through his gifts. He got a book of advanced combat spells from Hermione, a quick-draw wand holster from Daphne, and Tracey got him… a nondescript cardboard box filled with "prototype fireworks courtesy of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes".

Harry raised an eyebrow at Tracey, asking for an explanation.

"Oh, you remember how I set off those fireworks in the commons room several weeks ago?" Tracey explained. "I originally got them from the Weasley twins and they were so impressed with my 'ability to spread mayhem where they could not', that they gave me a bunch more at a huge discount!"

"And you decided to get me in on this?"

Tracey huffed. "It's not my fault you're hard to shop for. I've known Daphne for years, so she's easy to deal with. Hermione is such a bookworm that a book is always a good idea. I asked my mum for help picking one out, just to be on the same side. But you? Well, the only idea I had was a wand holster, and Daphne had already gotten one for you when I came up with the idea. So I just decided to use this as an opportunity to rope you into some of my usual activities."

"Your 'usual activities' being causing as chaos as possible?"

Tracey shrugged. "It's a hobby. So what's that last gift?"

Harry looked at the package Tracey was gesturing to. It was a soft package, likely clothing, that was wrapped in plain brown paper and tied together with nondescript string. The label simply said "Harry" with no sender, and was written in the neat sort of handwriting that was clearly identifiable as being from a dictaquill.

"It looks kind of… suspicious?" Harry remarked.

Tracey rolled her eyes. "It's too suspicious. If someone wanted you to take a booby trapped gift, they'd make it look like a regular present addressed from a casual acquaintance. This is very obviously suspicious, therefore it is almost certainly not harmful. It could totally be a prank, though."

"You're not filling me with confidence here, Tracey."

"Just open it already!"

Harry sighed and ripped the paper open. Inside was a mass of ethereal, silvery cloth that flowed out of the package in a bizarrely liquid-like fashion. Harry held it up, revealing it to be…

"A cloak?" He asked.

Tracey was staring at the cloak quizzically.

"I think that might be an invisibility cloak." She said.

"Invisibility cloak?"

"Yeah, they're really rare and expensive, but are way more effective than the camouflage from a disillusionment charm. My mom owns a few."

"Why does your mum own several invisibility cloaks?" Harry asked.

"She says that being unseen is very important when doing business deals."

Harry shook his head. "Right, so how do I use it?"

"Just put it on. It'll make you invisible once you're covered."

Harry pulled the cloak over himself. It was clearly sized for an adult, not an eleven year old of below average size, so it was hopelessly baggy (Not that Harry was inexperienced at wearing hopelessly baggy clothes, mind).

"Oh, my gosh!" Tracey squealed. "It is an invisibility cloak!"

Harry looked down to see that he was indeed invisible. Harry began to move around only to realise how disorienting it was to not be able to see his limbs.

"Put the hood up now!" Tracey demanded.

Harry sighed and pulled the hood over his head. Once he did, a veil fell over his face. The veil was probably designed to make his face invisible as well, but it had the added benefit of letting him see the cloak covering his body.

"I can see myself when the veil's down" He informed Tracey. "It's a lot less disorienting that way." Harry looked up to see Tracey sporting a maniacal grin. "Oh no…" He muttered. That look could never be a good thing.

"Do you realise," she asked, "just how many doors this opens for us?"

Definitely not a good thing.

"No…?" He replied hesitantly.

"We can do basically anything we want, without getting seen! We won't have to bother sneaking if we want to break the rules, since we'll be completely undetectable!"

Harry sighed. "…Right."

Tracey picked up the accompanying note and read it out loud. "'Your father left this in my possession shortly before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well.' There's no name. Who do you think gave it to you?"

Harry shrugged. "Probably Dumbledore. He's the only person I can think of who would have had it and could have returned it."

"Yeah," Tracey agreed, "It does kind of seem like the kind of thing he'd do. Now let's go get breakfast. I'm starving!"

Hermione neatly placed her presents in a stack after she opened each one. Most of what she'd gotten thus far had been books, which was hardly surprising. She did love books, after all.

Hermione moved on to Tracey's present, which had arrived that morning via owl post. Hermione removed the note and read it.

Hey Hermione!

I wasn't totally sure what to get you. Most of the books I read are fiction, which I know you're not a fan of. I asked my mom for advice, and she very enthusiastically recommended this book. It's a muggle book, so I'm not familiar with it. I hope it's as useful as my mom said it is!

Cheers! Tracey

Hermione shook her head at the fact that girl's excitable tone even came through in her messages. Hermione began carefully peeling the wrapping paper off the package to get to its contents.

Once Hermione got a look at the title, she paused, unsure how she should react.

Sensing her daughter's concern, Hermione's mum came over. Once she got a look at the book, she raised an eyebrow at Hermione, hoping for an explanation.

Hermione wordlessly handed the note to her mother, because she honestly didn't know what else to say.

"Hermione," her mother began, "what does your friend Tracey's mother do that makes her consider The Anarchist Cookbook to be 'useful' and 'highly recommended'?"

Hermione sighed. "I don't know, mum, but I think I need to ask her. If only because I am now very curious."

Penelope Clearwater walked briskly through the halls of Hogwarts, dragging her boyfriend-in-denial behind her (because no matter how much Percy argued about professionalism, their continued trysts definitely implied a relationship between the two). Her current destination was a broom closet on the fifth floor that was (in)famous for holding silencing and notice-me-not charms better than other closets. It was the perfect place for snogging and other activities popular among amorous couples.

"Really, Penelope," Percy argued, "we're prefects. We have a duty to set a higher standard for the other students to follow. Engaging in such activities is inappropriate."

"If you'd rather go back to studying for your O.W.L.s, then I won't stop you." Penelope released his hand and walked around the corner to where the broom closet lay. As soon as she turned the corner, she heard the sound of Percy following after her.

Ha. Score one for Penelope.

Penelope opened the closet's door, and nearly fell over backwards when doing so led to her being face-to-face with the headmaster.

"Hello, Miss Clearwater." He said in his usual bemused and grandfatherly tone. "And Mister Weasley as well! How are you two doing on this fine Christmas day?"

"We're, um, fine." She stammered. "What are you doing in the closet, sir?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he replied. "Coming out of the closet is often an ordeal, Miss Clearwater, especially to someone as visible in the public eye as myself. It also invites a lot of scrutiny into affairs that one may prefer to keep quiet."

Penelope got the impression that she was missing something. "Are you going to come out of the closet, sir?" She asked.

"Why, who's to say I haven't already, dear girl? Just because you don't know about something doesn't mean that it's not a matter of public record. I find that when one neither hides the truth, nor advertises it, the public tends to be most willing to overlook it."

She was definitely missing something. "You're very clearly still inside the closet, sir."

"Oh, the broom closet!" He exclaimed. "Not the metaphorical closet! Yes, it's amazing how one can find oneself in the most unlikely of places. Though, sometimes, being in the most unlikely of places is exactly what you may need, even if you don't know it."

All right, then. "I'll… I'll keep that in mind, sir."

His eyes twinkled again. "See that you do, Miss Clearwater. Now, my presence is required elsewhere, so I shall wish the two of you a splendid afternoon, then be on my way. Farewell!"

As Penelope watched the headmaster's retreating form, she called out to Percy. "Well that was a mood killer."

Percy seemed to he in shock. "We…" He said. "We almost got caught by the headmaster."

Penelope sighed. "The key word here is 'almost'. …Well, I think I may get some studying done, after all. I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at this closet the same way again."

That evening, Harry was awoken from sleep by someone repeatedly jabbing his side.

"Gah! What the hell!?" He swore into the dark room.

"Finally!" Tracey's voice rang out. "I've been trying to get you up for ages!"

Harry slumped back into his pillow. "What do you want, Tracey?"

"Um, to use your cloak? We have an opportunity to explore the castle at night, totally unseen!"

"…We?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Yes, We! I'm not about to take your cloak! You deserve the opportunity to use it on its maiden voyage!"

Harry sighed and tried to brush the cobwebs out of his brain. "Fine. I know better than to argue with you about stuff like this. Just don't ever wake me up to go 'exploring' when we have class the next day, and I'll go with you."

"Yay!" Tracey swept Harry up in a hug, which Harry managed to take without tensing for more than a second. "Now let's go! We are gonna have so much fun together!"

A/N: Dumbledore's scenes were fun to write. Honestly, once Penelope asked him why he was in the closet, the jokes wrote themselves.

I think that the Padma and Parvati scene is actually my longest single scene in the fic, though that doesn't say much, given how much perspective jumping I do. It was also an opportunity to provide some insight into why Parvati's Gatherers follow a mere first-year. They're all gossip mongers more than willing to centralise if it means their mongering can turn a profit.

Giving hints about Tracey's background was fun. For the record, Tracey's mother is an American muggleborn. Tracey has picked up several American speaking habits and mannerisms, such as saying "mom" instead of "mum". The intermittent presence of her parents as she grew up (Tracey often stayed with Daphne while the two grew up, since their mothers are friends) resulted in her having highly varied knowledge about the muggle world.

E/N (Xgenje): I honestly don't even want to know what Tracey's Mother does… But coincidentally if she happens to read this I know how to boil gasoline!

But seriously tho. I'm betting Magical FBI agent sent to destabilize a country.