It was light by the time I stumbled back into my bedroom, hands aching from overplaying. Work was going to be hell for the afternoon piano segment with that kinda stiffness. Nah, it's gonna be hell because you didn't sleep. You won't sleep. You just keep thinking about her pushing you away. Because even if she said it wasn't you, you know it is. You had the nerve to touch her like that. To want it not just for comfort but… I heaved a sigh as I threw myself on the bed.

How long had it actually been since I'd had sex? Stupid question. Embarrassing question. Death-just-kill-me-now sorta question. Answer: too fucking long. So fucking long that maybe I was half fantasizing until I saw her tears. So fucking long that I forgot what I'm here for-to take care of her-and thought maybe I could actually fulfill some kinda need. Because while I loved being with her just in that platonic sitting on the couch sense, I couldn't stop thinking about how smooth her skin is, how that overjoyed little giggle would sound fluttering right next to my ear as my hands gave her goosebumps.

No, I wasn't going to be sleeping.

I picked up my phone, first checking to see if maybe-just maybe she'd texted. I didn't even want an apology, probably wouldn't have the guts to ask for an explanation, but at least a good morning. Death, you're fucking pathetic. No new notifications besides a few stupid spam emails so I flipped to my contacts and clicked the second entry.

Viv immediately bypassed the normal overwhelming warm greeting for her second go-to, worry. "You're up early, aren't you?"

"Can't sleep," I muttered the hard truth.

"You have to sleep, Soul. You have work later today, don't you?" She was shuffling around in the background and I could hear Reggie clamoring somewhere. "Not right now, darling. I need to talk to your uncle-" she chided off to the side but it was quickly followed by a folding sigh "-oh, hold on!"

"Hi, Uncle!" Reggie immediately chimed after.

"Hey, Reggie." I managed to produce half a smile even if that little glowing ball of energy wasn't here to see it. "Sounds like you ain't listening to your mama."

"I am too!" he urged back with all the authority a kindergartener could give. "I just wanted to say 'hello' and now I'm going to eat breakfast. Are you eating breakfast?"

"Reggie," Viv scolded again before her voice came back full strength. "Are you eating breakfast?"

"No," I sighed. "Viv, how did yesterday go?"

"Is that what's bothering you?" She let a bright laugh punctuate that. "You shouldn't. I had an amazing time with Maka. She's truly a wonderful girl, Soul. I'm so happy you've bonded with her like you have."

Bonded. You're being real safe, Viv. "Viv, did she-"

"I tried to stay out of your business, I swear!" She ran blindly towards the answer to a question I didn't ask. "All I asked about was how you were doing and, well… alright, truthfully, I may have said you had everything you needed now. You have your family and you have Maka. I couldn't help myself! After seeing you with her that night, I couldn't get it out of my mind. You were happy, Soul. I haven't seen you like that in… never. When you were engaged to that girl-"

"Yeah," I cut her off, trying not to bring back that ghost. Mentioning it to Maka had already stirred up the memory and brought that terrible empty hole back in my gut just long enough for her to fill it. I wished I could have her voice on repeat:

"I've only ever seen you capable of it. Good at it."

To think that she could say I was good at loving someone. Maybe that's why I was stupid enough to try that date that wasn't a date since I didn't have the courage for the word. But I wanted to go out, I wanted to be seen with her, to have her seen with me, and I wanted to pretend- Death, I wanted to pretend that all of it was mine. That was the worst part: taking her home and realizing that I wanted every last bit of it and maybe… maybe I was realizing how much the pregnancy did matter. There wasn't any changing genetics, but-

"Soul, I was worried. Wes said you were so distant on the phone and I knew when we left it was too early, you weren't fine, but- now it feels a little foolish. Seeing you with her makes me feel a little foolish that I worried at all about you."

I bit into my lip to stop the sigh in reply.

"And I'm glad she has you, too. She needs it. You're helping her just as much as she's helping you, I know it." Her sigh came with all the sweetness in the world rather than the regret that wanted to stain mine. "But, please, remember to keep doing things for yourself. This is a good start, but I want to remind you that you're allowed to have what you want. You're a good man, Soul. You deserve your happiness."

"Thanks," I murmured. "I, uh, think I'll try to sleep now."

"Good. I love you. Call me tomorrow, alright?"

"Alright." I swallowed through the glass in my throat. "I love you too."

"Have a good day at work."

"Bye." I let the phone slip out of my hands and onto the bedspread.

A good man.

I deserve my happiness.

I… want that with Maka.

I threw my elbow over my eyes, knowing that sleep wouldn't come and there was nowhere to hide from the truth in my head.

But how the fuck do I do that?

I made the mistake of making eye contact with Tsu. It's hard not to, especially when she uses that utterly pleasant lilt that makes me think that she has to be part Siren. During my thirtieth drink order for her, she even broke out the big guns: "Soul?"

Using my name like it was a question! Like I wasn't the only one in front of her at the moment. "Yeah?" I got away with looking at the ripple of drinks as I steadied them on her tray.

"If it's not too much…"

There I fell victim, my eyes darting up to that merciless dark indigo. "Yeah?" Yes, dipshit, just keep repeating yourself.

"Do you think you'd mind coming with us tonight?" She added the smile, the one that told me she wasn't alone in this dastardly plan, the jawbreaker sweet face that could make Stalin wilt.

"Where?" Why I was wasting my breath I couldn't tell. I was doomed. I was going even if I gnawed through my own foot to get out of this trap.

"Liz and I are just going to the diner. You know, nothing special, but… I just think it'd be good if we all caught up, don't you?"

Caught up. I sighed. For Mr. Stoic you sure suck at keeping it off your face, huh? "Yeah, OK."

"Great!" That was entirely awash with just as much enthusiasm as the exclamation mark intones since Tsu never really faked things.

I managed half a smile before she skipped off. It wasn't exactly torture when we were all together outside of work, but this wasn't exactly going to be Liz dishing about dates or picture shows of Tsu latest textile project. It was me. They were coming for me and, Death, was I fucking terrified.

Disco fries are an abomination.

OK, fine, they look like an abomination and I'm sure nine out of ten guts would agree that eating them is asking for a quick colon cleansing. Liz always insisted that this was the best depression food. I always answered that it gave you depression. Agree to disagree. But that's what was strewn across the table in front of me, so that's what I was eating.

I got one heart attack slathered fry in my mouth before Liz jumped at the bit: "OK, how bad did you screw up?"

I shrugged to buy enough time to chew.

"Maybe if you start from the beginning…" Tsu offered gently while she played nervously with the straw in her coke.

Leaning on my elbow, my cheek was crushed just enough so my words filtered out with a lazy drawl. "I went to her apartment after work. It's not our usual day but she was supposed to meet Viv for lunch-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa-" Liz interrupted with a frantic wave of her hand "-you mean the girl you like-can I just call her your girlfriend?-is hanging out with your sister-in-law?"

"No, you can't," I snapped before heaving another desperate breath. "Viv and Maka have some stuff in common, that's all."

"You!" Liz corrected. "They have you in common, Soul. This is classic girls checking each other out. You were probably the prime objective of the conversation."

"Or at least part of it," Tsu tried to temper, especially as the grimace started to crack my lips. "Also, could we know her name?"

The frown set on my face but I still let it go: "Maka."

Liz scrunched her nose a little. "Different."

"Pretty," Tsu cooed as a softened correction.

She rolled her eyes at the sweetness before sinking her claws back into me. "So, you went to Maka's apartment after work. Did you say something about her going to lunch?"

"No." One-word answers were sacrilege in these kinds of situations, so I tried to make it seem like I was actually collecting thoughts instead of having them all painfully prepared by reliving the moment for the entirety of my shift. I focused on a slick of gravy, nabbing a fry to draw a line in it. "She wasn't feeling so hot so I was massaging her calves-"

"Excuse me?" Liz snapped before coughing out a dry laugh. "You were massaging her? And you have the nerve to say this isn't your girlfriend?"

"It's not-" I cut off with a groan.

"It's more complicated than that?" Tsu offered the sweet reprieve but didn't know she was just digging my grave deeper.

This was it. There was no turning back and no matter how much I just tried to run from reality I knew I'd already reached the point of no return. "She gets cramps in her legs because… she's pregnant."

The fry that had been poised in Liz's fingers made a wet slop as it hit the table along with her jaw. For once, nothing came out of that gaping maw.

"Soul-" Tsu started the tender tiptoe into the mess I'd made "-are you telling us you're going to be a dad?"

I ditched my own fry, only taking time to blot the grease off my finger before I dipped my head into my hands. "No," I muttered from just under my palms. "That was before we met. She's… she ain't with the dad. He's a fucking-" I expelled the rest of that black mess with a sigh. He's a fucking ass, but he's the father, not me. No matter what, he's the father. Doesn't that make him perfect by default-the right fit?

"Oh, poor Maka." Even with the woe directed towards that name, Tsu's warm, tender hand touched at my elbow, patting softly. "So you've been taking care of her."

I nodded in my hands.

"Bullshit!" Liz finally surfaced from the shock. Instead of the same gentleness, Liz was jutting my other elbow out from underneath me, making at least one hand drop away. "You're smitten, Soul Evans. Seriously. You're not just being a good neighbor, you're-"

"Yeah." I tried my hardest to cut her flow, to give me at least a second of air because I couldn't hear it. I'd been trying out that mantra for months-I'm a good neighbor, a good friend-but I knew the truth. "I-I-" I woefully stuttered through words that I had to rip off of the lining of my heart. "What's the spot between liking someone and loving someone called?" I croaked.

"Like I said: smitten." Thank Death that didn't come with her usual know-it-all chime, just a soft, piteous sigh at the end. "OK, so, you were touching her."

"Not like that," I muttered.

That earned me another hit to my elbow as Liz glared at me. "And why not?"

"Liz, she's pregnant," I tried to remind her as if that was the part of the conversation she could actually forget.

"Seriously?" Third hit was not the charm, instead making me lose my elbow entirely and wobble back to sit up straight. "What, a girl gets pregnant and she ceases being a person? I thought you said you were into her!"

"I am!" I snapped but it didn't dull the intensity on Liz's face.

"But you don't want to touch her? 'Not like that?'" Liz was laying out a minefield, but I was honestly ready to just have my legs blow off at that point.

"It's not like I don't want to-" rattled pathetically from my throat. "She's… she's so fucking pretty and interesting, but… why would she even want that from me?" All I could do was offer useless hands between us. "She's got enough fucking problems without me trying to get in her pants, no matter how I feel about her."

"Can I hit him?" Liz hissed the question in Tsu's direction as if she hadn't socked me three times already.

"Liz," Tsu chided and grabbed onto Liz's hand just in case, fry grease and all. "Hold that thought, anyway. Soul, just tell the story. You were trying to make her feel better…"

I looked between the two of them helplessly, actually starting to wish for Liz to hop over the table and put me out of my misery. What else is there to fucking say? Doesn't that just tell you everything? I'm a loser in love or like or whatever with a woman who doesn't need my bullshit. "And she started crying. I didn't blame it on the baby or anything-even though that sorta seems to go with this pregnancy thing-but I just asked if I was hurting her and then it just sorta-" I fanned my hands out to air the explosion I couldn't put into words.

Liz finally lost enough of her bloodlust to join the questioning again. "What did she say exactly?"

"Exactly?" I shrugged weakly. "That it wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything. She was just upset. Said I should leave. Then she just about threw me out and let the door hit my ass on the way."

Tsu and Liz exchanged a silent glance, both sporting furrowed brows and puckered lips. It was frightening to watch them talk without actually talking, but even more terrifying when both heads swiveled towards me. Liz pointed an accusatory finger my way. "Has that been the only time you've touched her? Any kind of touch?"

"Well, no," I murmured. The table was suddenly a lot more interesting than the two of them staring me down so I focused on the sparkle of the Formica. "I-I hug her whenever she wants or when she's upset and-I dunno, Liz!"

"What else?" Tsu urged, now suddenly not so gentle after her brain exchange with Liz.

"Hold hands… just, whatever she wants. I-" puking was easier than this, that terrible emotional bile tearing up the back of my throat "-I want to touch her, so I don't stop. I-I've never been this way before and it's-oh, it's fucking great and fucking terrible at the same time." I wondered how long I'd get away with it this time but it didn't stop me from tossing my face back into my hands just to press my palms to my tear ducts in hopes to plug them.

This time it was Liz's hands that came in like a mother, nails scritching through the shag of my hair. "OK, so, first rule is: pregnant women are still women."

"And if she comes to you to be touched-" Tsu added softly "-then maybe that's actually what she wants, Soul. She hasn't rejected you before and this technically wasn't a rejection either."

"I'm going to guess neither of you has ever even broached feelings?" Maybe Liz's touch wasn't so gentle anymore but even digging into the roots she was still imparting some kind of comfort. "As in, she's never explicitly said: 'I'm not looking for a relationship.'"

"No," I murmured as the burn hit my palms again. "But I dunno why you're trying to get my hopes up-"

"Soul," Liz cut me off with a mournful groan. "You don't know. This whole assumption that the last thing she needs is you crazy about her is just that- an assumption. So, rule two is: you have to ask, or you're going to be stuck like this forever."

There it was, that horrifying word: stuck. Even worse, while Maka was never really a liar, I was turning her into one. I was making sure that even if I had been making progress when we met, I was at a standstill now. I had made that stupid decision to sit and let her leave me which was exactly what I'd fucking done. I just never imagined it would hurt this fucking much. At this point, it was just as bad as losing her, wasn't it?

I don't even think my first recital left me this sweaty. Being in front of people-playing my heart out but knowing it wasn't ever going to be good enough-all of that hadn't prepared me for even an inch of the fear I was drowning in as I walked up the stairs of our building.

OK, so shower first.

Then, piano out on the balcony.

If she comes out-oh, fucking Death if--you say you want to talk.

You say how you feel.

Every last fucking bit of it.

I shot into the stairwell, my feet moving just as fast as my heart thumping against my ribs. And then you jump off the fucking balcony because she's going to look at you like you're crazy! My lungs gave up, forcing me to pause at the top for enough breaths before I could produce a groan. I leaned against the wall for just a second, conking my head against the stucco in hopes of scattering those thoughts. As I pushed open the door from the stairwell, I heard the ding of the elevator.

It normally wouldn't draw all that much of my attention-remember, most of the people living here were geriatric-but it wasn't some stooped old biddy breaking the threshold but a tall man in a suit from a tailor even my father couldn't afford. He only glanced at me but that was enough: sharp blue eyes told me everything.

Oh shit. I urged my feet to move but there wasn't a way out of this quicksand. He's here. He came for her. It's over. Whatever bullshit you thought you were going to say, it's over. That dipshit's here and-

He knocked on her door, sending the rest of the world around me into a tailspin. "Maka?"

There I was, some fucking weirdo just standing in the hallway, frozen. I had to move-I knew that-but I needed to see her face. I needed it all over then and there because when she opened that door, tears in her eyes and a smile on her face, I'd know. I'd know I just had to pack it up. That I'd sat back and fucked everything up again.

The door squeaked, opening not just a crack but a determined swing. With the pregnant belly, she definitely looks ridiculous trying to cross her arms, but Maka was putting in a firm attempt to channel some kind of challenge. All that happy Hollywood bullshit I'd just imagined fizzled away with her furrowed brow. "I thought I said on the phone that I didn't-" While I'd been invisible enough to the douchebag, Maka's eyes flicked to me, momentarily cutting off her words. She huffed before continuing. "Come inside. You have five minutes."

"Thank you," he murmured. The idiot was reaching for her but all he got was a whiff of air as she sharply moved her shoulder to turn back into the apartment. He disappeared behind her, the door clapping shut after both of them.

She barely looked at him.

But she barely looked at me either.

OK, idiot, move! My feet finally unfettered, I made my way to my door. Inside the apartment was even worse, the harsh strikes of her voice filtering through the wall. I moved into my bedroom to get closer to the thin wall we shared and caught a snippet of her high note:

"I didn't ask you to come here!"

He obviously wasn't raising his voice to match her, just a low grating that fuzzed through the divide.

OK, dummy, this isn't fair. It's none of your business what's said between them so go out on the balcony, slip on your headphones, connect them to the keyboard, and zone out. She'll find you after if she wants to. Plan in place, I grabbed what I needed and headed out onto the balcony, hunkering down and expecting to drift off into my own little world. Because I won't be cool. I can't possibly be cool-not if he says something to her. Not if he dares to even say the fucking word "mistake" to her ever again. That brought up an aggressive grumble from my chest, my grip on the headphones turning white-knuckled as I lifted them towards my ears.

The door slid open loudly, slamming back against the frame.

"Maka, listen to me, please-"

"Just give me a second," she spat before tossing open the screen and taking a step out into the moonlight.

I was frozen, hands hovering as my eyes hit hers. OK, now what? Do I say something? Do I just put my headphones on? Do I-

Her hand reached over and batted the headphones to the side, making my arms crumble back to my lap. "Play," she mouthed before she nibbled at her lip. "Please," she added before turning her eyes over to the city lights.

Oh fucking damnit. She might as well have ripped my heart out of my nose. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to go in there and beat that guy senseless because he didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve that baby. That was-that was what I wanted with her. That should be ours. Even though that felt bitterly selfish, I let it all wash over me as I dropped the headphones to the side, unplugged them, and started what I used to think was my song but now was ours. I tried to let that bleed into every last note of it, to show her that while it started with me, it ended with us.

As soon as it started, she moved back towards the door, stepping back inside the screen and only shutting it behind her so that the tunes could keep leaking into the room just as much as the voices could ooze out.

"Maka, just come home."

"To what? You said marriage was the only option. I told you a million times what happened with my parents, and you still didn't think that suggesting that was going to be a little painful for me?"

"We're not them, babe. Honestly, we had this planned out already, didn't we? You finished school, you got the small firm editing job as a stepping stone. I'm working towards partner. After that was going to be marriage, kids-you just pushed it up a little early."

"I did?"

"Oh, come on, what else was I supposed to think with all the 'do you love me?' bullshit you were on about? I know it wasn't going fast enough for you-"

"It wasn't a race, Brian!"

"Damnit, Maka, that's not what I mean. I do love you- I just had steps before all of this. Maybe that's why I didn't react so well to the idea, but you have to admit all of this was part of the plan for us."

"Because we're perfect."

"Of course we are… babe, I miss you. Come home. Please."

The utter, terrifying fear of it all was the only thing keeping me playing. The silence that grew after that pathetic plea was leaving my gut aching and my mind painting too many images I didn't want to see:

He was holding her.

He was clearing the tears off her cheeks.

He was kissing her.

"I don't want perfect."

"Maka-"

"I don't! Especially since you're always the one that gets to decide what perfect is, Brian. Maybe I don't want the big-shot editing job-did you ever think about that? Maybe I like working for Mama's old company and being steeped in all that history of her. Maybe I don't want to go to those idiotic parties just so you can lick clean someone's shoes enough to get partner. Because none of that made me happy."

"Maka, come on-"

"No! I don't want to be pushed anymore, I want to be supported! I want someone who plans with me instead of for me. I want-" As she cut off, I stopped the song, so desperate to hear the end. Instead, all I got was a bold sigh from her.

But that space wasn't empty for long. "You can't expect me to just-you're out of your mind! That's my baby!"

"I thought you made it entirely clear that if I wasn't marrying you then this wasn't your baby!"

So I tried-I swear I fucking tried not to hear that, to let it ring down to my core, but it hit like a fucking tempest. I was on my feet, leaving the piano not so carefully along the rail as I clutched my hands into the metal instead. Say that to her again.

"I told you, it's just-what that looks like- what people will think!"

My knuckles were blaring white against the bars.

Maka's back snuck into view and I watched as her elbow quickly tucked back to almost hit the screen. "Don't touch me!"

Logical thought was gone, and in its absence, I was jumping the railing. As soon as I landed, one hand already on the door, I heard the sick thud. For a terrifying dark moment, I was sure that in a second I'd be ripping that guy apart since my original expectation had been some part of her soft skin tainted by those horrible hands. Instead, a weak, wondrous laugh rang from my throat as I watched him crumple in front of her.

She'd socked him like a fucking champ, leaving him clutching his jaw as horror lined those icy blue eyes.

He'd stumbled back and landed on his ass, blinking up at her as his hand tried to trace the red her fist left behind. "Maka, what the fuck?"

"You don't get to touch me!" She seethed back as she shook out her hand. That beautiful blonde hair swished as she turned her head to glare at me from over her shoulder. "You can go back to playing. I'll be out in a bit."

I raised innocent hands as I chuckled, but I couldn't convince my feet to move. It didn't seem like she needed me to do the heavy lifting, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let that asshole out of my sight. Instead, I leaned back against the railing, eyeing the scene.

Her glare narrowed at me for only a second, flashing back towards the man on the floor.

"Maka, who the hell is that?" Ol' blue eyes was motioning at me as he stumbled back to his feet. I didn't like the way he was trying to loom over her but Maka instantly negated it, pushing his chest to give a clean step between them.

"None of your business," she snapped. "And don't you dare-"

"Is he why?" An accusatory finger lunged in my direction. "What, did the apple not fall far from the tree? For all the times you railed on Spirit for cheating on your mother-"

A hideous laugh left her mouth, breaking his words clean off. She slapped a hand to her lips to try to quell it but it blustered past her fingers anyway. It was sick, half a sob that twittered off into a gasp for air. "Oh, Death, you're making this too easy." His finger was slapped out of the air, replaced with her hand motioning at everything I was. "I'd rather it be him. He'd be a million times better at it than you ever would and he- go ahead, Brian. Believe what you want if it means you'll leave me the fuck alone and I don't ever have to see you again."

Those cold eyes bounded between her face and mine, panicked pinball before the hint of a decision turned that glare even icier. "Everything we had- you'd give it up for this?"

Maka shook her head slowly. "The only things we had were yours. I think I want something that's mine now." She pushed past him, moving towards the door of the apartment. He didn't follow at first, the entirety of his stare now trying to tunnel into me.

I sorta wasn't concerned. Hell, as a bartender I'd had more than one conceited asshole look at me like I was the scum of the Earth, but it wasn't even the warn-down sense of giving a fuck that came with customer service jobs. Instead, it was the best compliment that I'd gotten in months, maybe years rattling in my brain from her lips: She'd rather it be me! I'd be better at it! That perfect pedestal that I'd put him on courtesy of all that mopey fucking daydreaming was starting to crumble.

Technically, I could make up a million excuses: she'd say anything to insult him at this point, I could have been any guy and she'd probably have said the same thing, or she was just lying. But as I watched him untangle and deteriorate into that just-another-ex mold, I couldn't help but hold on to some sorta hope.

"Let's go," she urged as she swung open the door again. Even the air traffic control wave wasn't getting him moving, so her brow furrowed. "You've had more than your five minutes."

He took one hard step in my direction. "Just who the fuck-"

Maka was rushing back but I didn't move, letting him toss open the screen as his swiftly moving hand was already on a crash course for my shirt. He snatched it and just enough of my tie to jut me a wobbling step forward.

"-do you think you are?" He hissed in my face.

"Nobody." I let the laziest of my smiles piss him off even more, earning a shake for good measure.

His hand pulled back, fist ready to piston for my face when Maka grabbed his elbow. "Don't you dare!"

He tried to shrug her off, that threat of tossing her on her ass blowing any last bit of cool I had in me. I brought my knee up while I clasped his shoulder with one hand, getting him in enough of a forward bend that I could catch him sharply in the gut. I heard the woof of air from his lips and moved my hand from his shoulder to his collar, giving him enough of a tug to keep him from falling into Maka. "I don't give a shit if you want to fuck with me-" rumbled up from my chest "-but hurt her again, and it'll just get worse for you."

"You asshole," he hissed through a struggling breath.

It barely registered to me, my mind more occupied with continuing our dance towards the door as I slung him by his shirt. "And don't bother with the rich boy act- I got enough money for lawyers if you think you're pressing charges." I got one more good yank before I left him to stumble the last few steps towards the door Maka had left open. "Get out."

He looked behind me but I could only guess he found no mercy on her face. I wasn't exactly going to turn my head and lose sight of the guy to check, but the sickly frown that started on his bruising face was enough. There was one more beat of time-just enough to make me think maybe he wasn't done-before he flashed the back of that suit jacket in our direction and the door slammed shut.

A hiccup sound made my head swivel, ready to catch Maka half in tears but instead finding her smothering giggles. "What?" I balked.

"'It'll just get worse for you.'" She did the shittiest job trying to copy my baritone as her eyebrows crinkled until exploding with another laugh. "Were you being serious? You sounded like Batman or something."

I rolled my eyes. "C'mon, he was being a dick."

"Yeah, he was." The laughter faded as she tucked her elbows into her hands. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for." I shrugged even though the real motion wanted to be a step forward, to bring me close enough to get a hand on her.

"No, it wasn't your problem, and I just-" Her eyes closed, a deep breath flaring her nostrils before she let me see jade again. "We should talk."

"Oh-" quivered up pathetically from my throat. Well, yeah, idiot, you have to talk to her, right? That's what this whole night was going to be before that asshole showed up. You tell her how you feel. You really just come clean because you have to. You have to.

"But can it wait until tomorrow?" Her smile was pathetic, not even a show of teeth, just a slight warbling upward of her lip. "I think that was really enough excitement for me for one day and… it's not fair, I know that-"

"S'fine." Whether I was caving out of fear or concern for her I couldn't really differentiate. "Tomorrow I'll come by after work."

"OK-" she jumped quickly at the end of my sentence.

"OK," I echoed before I had to take the step forward. She shuffled a little, her eyebrows moving only slightly upward as I kept inching forward. Technically, I had to, considering my only way back into my apartment was over the railing again, but I'd be a liar if I said that was the only thing pulling me. I decided one hand-three fingers max-was what I'd brush against her arm. That was safe, that was OK, that was-

Her hand hit me first since it turns out I'd been too in my head to realize she'd been reaching for me since I started the journey. Fingers closed into the fabric of my shirt and whatever trajectory I had was lost so she could pull me in. Since there was no resistance her hands moved, sliding around my waist to lock into me as her head rested against a heart that was beating out of time. "Thank you," she murmured.

"Didn't really need me all that much," I replied dryly, letting a rueful laugh hit the end. "You hit him pretty good before I did."

The breath of her laugh warmed my shirt. "Do you think… Can you just forget everything else and see me like that? I've been so pathetic lately, and that was the first time in a while it felt like I was me again."

"Don't wanna." I tightened my arms around her, mostly to save my own skin and keep her from looking me in the eyes. "I think all of it's been you, and to be honest, I haven't minded any of it."

"Haven't minded," she copycatted in a low murmur.

"You looking for a compliment?" My accusation was supposed to be playful but it warbled, especially since her head was tilting slightly as her breath hit my neck. "I ain't gonna say I enjoy it when you cry. Then you'd punch me."

"Maybe I'll still punch you." She tried to mutter but it drifted into a sigh.

"Dunno, will it make you feel better?" Death, you're a masochist, aren't you?

She snorted a laugh. "I think I'd rather punch Brian again."

"Fucking agreed," I grumbled. One of my hands slithered dangerously to the edge of her hair, tempted to play with the strands. "He-he didn't actually touch you, did he?"

"Down, boy," she snickered.

"Fine." I huffed as I forced my hands to her shoulders to pull her away. Honestly, I wanted to sink into her, let her have this as long as she wanted but it was disintegrating my nerve. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah…" She was looking up at me, eyebrows wrinkling slightly as tears started to mist the corner of her eyes.

"Hey-" I got one big, stupid hand on her cheek before both of us jumped away to avoid the flame. What the fuck do you think you're doing? Actually going to clear her tears? Who the fuck do you think you are?

"Sorry!" The chime of her voice was anything but, just half a warble as she put her own hands to her cheeks. "Death, it's like anything will start the waterworks now. Um, just forget it, really- tomorrow." She waved towards the screen door as she angled away from me.

It was a déjà vu that brought a bitter bite to the back of my throat. My feet weren't listening, taking a step closer to her instead. "Don't apologize for crying," I muttered since most of my energy was focused on my hand drifting towards her. Who the fuck do you think you are? echoed again but I swallowed the fear as I let my palm slip over the back of her hand. I'm the guy who's in love with her, that's who. I sighed shakily, dipping my thumb gently under her lashes to catch some of the liquid. And if she doesn't want it, I'll just be the next guy she punches. That thought helped to inflate my grin, giving it a little life. "Told you I don't mind, right? This part of you is just as good as the others."

Those jade eyes were as wide as I'd ever seen them as color blossomed under my fingertips. "Soul…"

"Don't worry, OK? Just get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow." I finished flicking away a few more droplets as Maka just stared. Death, I was fucking terrified but maybe I could just hold onto a corner of hope until I saw her again. I took one step out onto the balcony and let one last call over my shoulder: "I'll bring dessert."