99%
Notes: I had to raise the rating of this chapter because of a comic relief scene! LOL. Beware the scene is between XX-XX.
Lownote Jones was the coolest troll Branch had ever known. It took one small tour in the spaceship for the teal trolls to realize he was in any scientist's heaven. The fracture of space and time, the possibility of turning off gravity…- wow… - the survivalist felt like his knowledge of astrophysics was merely a child's game near what Funk Trolls had accomplished.
With a small remote they would flick the wormholes (which now Branch was calling a portal to other realities) into any universe they wanted to. Oh, and they could scan those dimensions to find precisely what they were looking for. It was paradise! Like the amazing rainbow flavored milkshake he was having at that instant. It could only be found in dimension named 548Hz.
"So, Poppy visited an alternative reality in a completely safe trip, there's nothing to worry about as you can see." Lownote explained to a relieved teal troll.
"Good to know, I was starting to get worried." Branch said, being served a giant marshmallow by a robot. "Hey, thanks."
"We would never allow our Queen to be harmed," with a wink, the funk troll offered some coffee and, of course, Branch couldn't resist, having just finished slurping the last bit of the delicious colored drink.
When Lownote mentioned Poppy, he triggered a few thoughts. Branch noticed how everybody was referring to her as their queen and, indeed, she was the royal one in charge of Trollstopia, she had conquered her place in the delegates' hearts quite fast.
Hair, everybody seemed to be so easy around her. Which made Branch suddenly remember the reason he wanted to visit the Funk Spaceship in the first place.
"You know… is it possible to take a look at one specific curve of probability?" Branch placed his fingers together, feeling a little embarrassed with the request.
"Oh? And what would that be?" curious, but feeling that it had to do with the Pop Queen, Lownote merely adjusted his glasses, waiting for Branch to continue.
"I was wondering what was the best way to lead… uh… my relationship with Poppy," and as soon as he said it, Lownote grinned, as if he was waiting for that request for a long time.
"First," the funk troll cleared his throat, "you guys are great at keeping a low profile. There are rumors, but nobody can say you guys are together," and with a tick of his tongue, the smooth voiced male picked up a tablet with all search panels he needed and typed a few keywords. Branch watched quietly as his curiosity slowly crawled all the way to his heart, squeezing it painfully. Lownote scoffed before continuing, "I see… you guys are together in ninety-nine percent of the possible realities."
"Wow… really?"
"True love, baby!"
The good news quickly boosted Branch's confidence like he had taken two double coffees. It felt so romantic - lame, but still romantic - that somehow, they always found a way to be together. They were just meant to be, with their flaws never getting in their way. So, he could relax a little, because they would make it work, no matter how different they were.
"There's even an interesting reality where you're her snake." Lownote laughed, flipping the screen and staring at each parallel universe in amusement. "Look," he tapped his finger and a bigger screen showed up right in front of them.
Amusedly, Branch watched a universe where Poppy was dressed in golden garments, with golden treads all over her. She had jet black hair and one incredibly seductive low-cut front. A teal colored snake slid over her body, going up from her legs until it hissed quietly, resting its head on her shoulder to be petted.
"Queen of Egypt and her snake, how thrilling." Lownote commented before flicking the screen once again.
The next universe stabilized in a dark room with potions and candies everywhere. On top of a table, marshmallows and caramels were displayed as a witch Poppy added them to a bubblegum colored liquid she was brewing. It looked like a wooden cottage with spiders and bats living happily on the corners.
A teal cat with blue fur on top of its head elegantly jumped on the side table to reach Poppy. It rubbed its face against hers and earned a sweet kiss and a candy to nibble.
"When you said we were together… I thought you meant it romantically?" Branch asked in confusion, staring at the happy enamored cat.
"We could search one… let me check…" the funk troll quickly slid to the side and found one universe where Branch and Poppy looked slightly older and a few kids that looked a lot like them were running around, playing tag. The sight made Branch melt. That was exactly what he deeply wished for. "Do you want to visit one of those universes?"
"I'd love to!" Branch immediately answered, but right after the words came out, he paused and pondered the implications of the brief visits. "Is there any sort of damage we could inflict by walking into other realities?"
"As long as we don't interfere with their world, it will be a harmless visit," winking at Branch, Lownote blindly picked a portal before jumping inside after the curious pop troll.
Only, as soon as they stepped on the ground of what seemed a warmer version of his bunker, Branch immediately blushed. Lownote crashed against his back, not realizing the smaller troll had come to halt like his soul had just left his body.
XX-XX
"Don't stop!" Poppy from the alternative reality cried out in an evident sound of what she was doing.
"By all that is troll-y…" Branch whispered to himself, breaking down in cold sweat. His and Poppy's alternative versions were right there, naked, going at it like rabbits, clawing each other shamelessly, obscenely grunting and moaning.
XX-XX
"He-ey! You got that very - very - right, baby," Lownote adjusted his glasses, taking a better look at the scene before him.
"We gotta go right now!" Branch nearly yelled. If the alternative versions weren't so busy, they would certainly have heard him. He didn't wait for Lownote to move, instead, Branch grabbed him with his hair and jumped inside the portal as quickly as he could.
That was the quickest interdimensional travel Branch had ever had and Lownote's grin started getting on his nerves. With a smart attitude, the funk troll merely crossed his arms.
"I get that it may not be adequate for me to go with you," he chuckled.
"I don't know if it's adequate for me to go at all," shocked, Branch couldn't stare at his friend in the face. He was incredibly torn between a rush of lust and an excruciating jealousy because Lownote had just got a glimpse of Poppy on her birth suit.
"Let's make a deal," the funk troll smiled sympathetically, "if you ever want to go and check the universes, all you have to do is come here. I'll take a long walk away from the spaceship to give you all the privacy you'll need."
Branch didn't really know what to say. After what he had witnessed, he was dying of curiosity to check at least a few more realities. Lownote chuckled, already knowing the answer.
"Whenever you're ready. The portal shifter will be right here."
Before jumping straight into travel between alternate universes, Branch considered returning home and taking his time to calmly go through the possible consequences.
The spaceship quickly dropped him in the middle of the village and calmly returned to its position in the sky. It was dark already; Branch barely noticed the time while he was inside.
With a rushing mind, the survivalist walked randomly for a while. A stroll usually cleaned his head and made him think straight and objectively.
Snooping in other universes wasn't a rational choice, but his emotions bubbled eagerly. If went to other universes to find out the best love declaration, the best way to kiss Poppy and… hair - he blushed just to think about it - how she liked things to develop between them, then it could be considered research, right?
Suddenly, Poppy's voice broke down the quiet of the night with Demo's desperate one quickly following. With a frown, Branch took a shortcut between a few bushes.
"You've been sneaking off to play classical music with the classical trolls!" Poppy's eureka's caused Branch to chuckle even before he saw her. The shrubs were too thick that day or what? He couldn't find his way out of them!
"Fine, you've figured it out!" Demo sounded nervous about her findings and Branch amusedly wondered when the trolls that weren't used to Poppy's perceptive nature would understand that they couldn't hide anything from her. "Now, will you get out of my hair you adorable pink lady wizard?!"
Hearing Demo's despair made Branch suddenly stop moving. He shouldn't intrude in someone's secret; Poppy had done much damage already. Quietly, Branch watched - unseen by anyone - as the rock troll led the Pop Queen to the Classical Crest
Poppy was right. Branch should meet Demo. He looked like the kind of troll that could use some help.
The path to the bunker seemed shorter than before and along the way, the word 'adorable' kept echoing in his mind, making Branch think how he and Poppy hadn't ended up together in that one percent of the alternate realities Lownote had mentioned.
Notes: Hello, again! Now you know what I've been planning for the other version of Tales of Trollstopia. Just a trip in naughty scenarios. I'm taking my time to post this one because I'm involved in a very serious project at the moment and I'm dedicting my energy to it. But you'll probably see the first chapter in a couple of weeks :)