A shoutout to Dog_of_Fate_Alice_Maria for helping me with choosing this chapter's song and title!
The boat ride back to Midgand was quiet. Or as quiet as it could be for Velvet, realizing that Magilou and Amelia were up to special antics. The pair seemed to get on everybody's nerves on the Van Eltia until they got stuck with cleaning duties to keep them occupied. Or as Eizen called it, 'The most dangerous thing for a sailor at sea to be is bored.'
Waves crashed into the ship's enchanted hull, cracking as salt splattered against the glass and holes. The former therion paid it no mind, eyes closed in thought. Amenoch's words stuck like a fly to ripened fruit. Coming back here, was it a mistake? Did Phi know and just didn't tell her? Did something happen with Innominat? But then, why wasn't Laphi here?
Questions and questions bounced in her head, and no answers in sight. Frustrated, she slammed her fist into the chair, cracking its wood before she looked down and scowled. The pirates probably stole this from somewhere. But that moment of revelation made her bite her lips.
Was she getting too soft?
Velvet finally stood up again, walking to the windows as the endless blue stretched beyond. So many things out there, all those scout ship reports she only realized to read at the end of her journey. Many of them were the basis for those shared dreams she had with Laphi. Lifetimes and generations passed. Yet only seven years passed here.
The windows beams showed a shadow of her reflection. But there was another person in the room too.
"Eleanor, I didn't hear you come in."
"Sorry. Was I being too quiet?"
"No, just didn't expect it to come from you." She turned around. In her hands was salted jerky of prickleboar meat.
"Snack?"
"Yeah, sure." Velvet snagged the jerky and munched on it. It's dry, and spicy. The rich favors of prickleboar complementing kick. She still believed that she could do a better job at making jerky.
"Where'd you find this?"
"Oh, Alex bought some in port. Amelia refused to have any."
Velvet scoffed. "That woman and her prickleboar phobia."
"Don't be harsh."
"What? That's exactly what it is. The prickleboar is already dead. It's meat."
Eleanor sighed, taking a seat by her side. "I know, I know. But just let her be."
"Fine."
The two women looked at their hands, creeping close. The blankets stretched underneath, fingers toying with the creases and fabric. Eleanor's eyes slowly looked to Velvet as she looked back. A deflated sigh escaped her lips. "What am I even doing? I'm too old for this back and forth."
"Velvet?"
"Eleanor, how long have you held this…" Her opposite hand waved in a small circle. "Crush?"
A melancholy smile grew on her lips. "Since the headless horseman in Titania. Then, at Aball."
"You've got strange choices to think about me like that." Velvet bitterly remarked.
"Sorry…"
"There you are again, saying sorry." She leaned back on the bed. "That's one thing I like about you. Honesty. Even if you're still a crybaby."
"You're sarcastic and crass comments haven't dulled in the years since you've been gone." Eleanor shook her head, also leaning back. "I've missed you. Everybody did."
"I wasn't dead."
"But you weren't with us. The world finally opened. You were the person that brought us all together. Once you were gone, we went our separate ways."
"Rokurou stayed. Hell, he dated you."
"Yeah." She leaned back up, crossing her legs. "It was alright for a little while. Then, he'd disappear for months at time, with wounds. Once he healed up, he left again."
"Doesn't he heal rather quickly? Remember the first duel we saw against Shigure?"
"Yes, but that was just his hand. He'd come back…" Eleanor's voice trailed off. Eyes to the floor as she shook her head. Velvet winced. Perhaps she shouldn't have steered the conversation in that direction.
"Velvet?" The former therion turned to her, seeing just the top of her scarlet head. Her hands gripped on her sleeves.
"I…" Words failed to express what Velvet was feeling. A low thumping noise in her ears, muffling the crashing waves. She closed her eyes, pulling her close. Cutting through the beating, a soft cry creaked.
She pulled Eleanor close, holding her tight. Was her hug cold still? Emotions that weren't concentrated on revenge failed her. Even the memories, the fantasies she cast with her brother in the dream slipped through her emotions. For all the adventures she had, she just could not…
Draw upon them.
As real as they felt, being here, it seemed so strange. It was no longer those times she traveled with her brother to the lands, the distance lands imagined beyond. Just as those feelings were, so far away. Yet so close. Arms strained against, gnawing at her inner self.
She closed her eyes, trying to trace her dreams again for the emotions experienced in another time.
Nothing but silence.
Eleanor pulled herself away, arms propped against her legs.
It was quiet until they reached the port.
-.-.-
Alex sniffed the air. Something all too familiar lingered in the air. While the pirate captain made do with the papers, she looked around. Several armed knights were marching over. Silver trimmed plate armor adored with a deep blue cape. Stamped on the side, stripes of orange and a howling wolf emblem.
Knights of Londinium. Her home.
"Lady Breuse." Their captain spoke, bowing to her. Alex turned her head, "Captain Roland, a pleasure to see you again."
"My Lady, your father, Marrok Freki Breuse, has requested your immediate audience in Loegres."
Her eyes twitched for a moment. "Why the trip to the capital?"
"Have you been gone for that long, my Lady? It's your sister's rehearsal."
Alex's eyes widened. "I… forgot. I–"
"Come with us, milady." The blonde turned to the Shepherd and her allies, "Sorry, I'm catch up with you three later."
Eleanor and Velvet nodded; they were wrapped up in their own issues while Amelia glanced back. "Shepherd Hume, may I accompany Legate Breuse?"
"Yes, go ahead. We'll meet in Loegres once we're done."
Heat dropped in her veins. A tingle of doubt echoed in her head. Alex lowed her head as Amelia walked up to her side. The captain didn't seem to mind having another join them.
"Our horses are at the ready."
"Then take us back to the capital."
As they walked, she whispered. "You didn't need to come."
Her fellow legate smiled. "What do you expect me to do with Eleanor and Velvet? I'm not one of their deep friends. And I've never met your family."
"You did. You called my father an asshat."
"Wha, when was this?"
"The Abbey Ball, six years ago." Alex sighed. "You got drunk and babbled about cannons not reaching as far as they used to."
"Oh." She clapped her hands. The blonde got herself up while Amelia got up behind her. Arms wrapping around her waist, a shiver rode down her spine. Horses bucked their hind legs, rising above as the Breuse banner fluttered above them. They rode off, dashing through the gate and down the country roads.
-.-.-
Eleanor stared at the staircase before them. Always this damn thing, a constant cycle of walking up its cases just to talk to Maotelus. Before even stepping on its glittering white steps, Maotelus appeared before them, a half-smile on his young face.
"I'm not making you two walk up these things just because you want to talk."
A smirk grew on Velvet's face. "Growing up and taking charge, aren't you Phi?"
"You're the only person that still calls me that." He chuckled back.
"And I wonder whose fault is that?" They turned to Eleanor, who's miffed expression only complemented her words.
"Yes, let the Sixth's Empyrean's name grant blessings to you, Phi. Its rhythms with pho and phum."
"Hey, at least it'll be easier to remember."
"That's not the point!"
The two couldn't contain their laughter, red in the face. Eleanor puffed her cheeks up and laughed alongside them. It felt like so long ago, the joyous days on the Van Eltia.
"Eleanor, as you're gathering the blessings of the other Empyreans, I've managed to reconnect with them."
"So that means you can fully communicate with them? Is there anything you've learned about this disruption?"
"It almost feels like it's coming from the world itself. You remember the Earthpulse springs and wells?"
"It was the only way to wake the four up." Velvet recalled.
"Exactly. But this, it feels like there's a center to it all. Describing the Earthpulse like a river or a stream doesn't make much sense when it records almost everything that happens to its land. It's more like blood in a person's body. So the linked Empyreans and us call it the Earthpulse Heart."
"Were you able to learn about the history that came before?"
"Sadly no." He bowed his head. "The Earthpulse can recording almost everything, but when learning new things, the older stuff… disappears. Like lost books. Or maybe removed from history all together."
"I don't see how this relates to what we need to do here." Velvet crossed her arms, getting impatient.
"It's gotta do with what I think Innominat's whole plan was. And how it might tie with you returning Velvet." That got her interested.
"What if we say, that along with the reawakening of the Empyreans reshaping the land, Innominat's awakening also removes parts of the past?"
Velvet flinched. Visions of a bleeding sky and the man who sought revenge against the world. Eleanor and Maotelus gulped, "I… I didn't mean to bring back –"
"It's fine, continue."
"Nobody can remember the past. Innominat blocks it when the malakhim are under his control. Even a few malakhim that managed to escape or even learned from the earthpulse don't see this cycle? What do you think?"
Velvet scratched her head. "Still don't see why returning is…" Her voice hollowed. Springs and locks in her brain clicked together. "… Is Innominat returning? Do you feel any different now?!"
Maotelus shook his head. "Nothing. Maybe a little boost of power, but nothing else."
"Where is Innominat now? His 'physical' body?"
"It's in the basement of the Emyrean's Throne."
"Alright. How do go down?"
"That's also why I came down here." Maotelus pointed his hand to the staircase. The ground rumbled as the white marble staircase retracted into the ground. A low howl echoed up the hole it left behind, and pale flames flickered in the shadows.
"Come on. Let's go."
Down the depths of the throne, the two women walked behind Maotelus.
"Did either of you know about this secret underground tunnel?" Velvet quipped. Eizen would've loved this idea.
"It was a part of the blueprints of the Throne." Eleanor nodded. "But it was meant as a garrison or hiding spot if anybody managed to attack."
Deeper still, the air chilled. Even the lights themselves felt cold. Soon enough, they reached a massive double door, matching the one near the peak. Velvet looked back to the entrance, now a small window of light.
"Will we have to walk back up again?"
"No, I'll just teleport us back up."
Maotelus waved his arm as the doors cracked open. Gears churned away under the Empyrean of Light's power, revealing a massive antechamber. In the center was a massive curled mass of ethereal scales and heads. Stubby arms, massive compared to humans with talons of shimmering silver lattice reflected the light.
It was like the gravesite of a dead god who still dreamed.
"This is Innominat. Or at least, a smaller version of him." Maotelus weakly explained. "His true body is still hidden, but this is where Laphicet Crowe rests too."
"Laphi…"
Velvet walked over to one of the inert heads. She looked back to the two. "Is it alright if I?"
Maotelus nodded. Extending her hand, Velvet's eyes widened.
Like her clothes and body were pulled through heavy water, her vision blinded by an intense white light.
She was no longer in the antechamber. She was by a cliff. The same cliff she remembered in her dreams. The same cliffside where she found herself back in the real world.
Velvet turned, shifting back and forth, looking for any sign of anything. A gentle breeze pushed her head to the edges. There she saw two people. A young boy and his elder sister.
"That's… me."
There it was. Velvet and Laphicet Crowe. Two siblings enjoying the warm sun, their feet dangling over. Waves crashed against the rocks below, spraying water upwards as they giggled.
"A cute notion, but that is all." Boomed a voice. The two siblings seemed undisturbed.
"You say this, but you are not omnipotent. None of the Empyreans are. And neither are your makers." Said another voice. A familiar voice. Again, the two were undisturbed.
Shadows grew behind Velvet and she turned. Masses of darkest and light lingered, watching the dreamscape. "You cannot comprehend humans. Much less know the malakhim that live and die here."
"Choice. It is choice that has continued this cycle. It is choice that plunders this world back to its stone kingdoms of bronze. The curse is inevitable, and the choice will always be the same.
"This would be the thirteenth time I have culled malevolence in this world, and my powers have grown exceptionally efficient at doing it. You and that girl are little more than keys. If you will not submit, then the two of you will suffer for..!"
Velvet pulled away, feeling Eleanor and Maotelus yanking her away. She gasped for breath, coughing as her eyes settled back in the dim basement.
"V-velvet!" Maotelus asserted. "You were so still then you were shaking and then screamed..!"
Dark circles hung on her eyes. She turned to the both of them, seeing Maotelus's worried face. But drawing to her redheaded companion, there was something stronger. Worry, regret. Fear.
Velvet bitterly drew herself back, taking a seat. "Another."
"Velvet, you can't be serious…"
"I am."
Eleanor took her shoulder, "Listen to me! Please!"
"Stop! I need to see Laphi again..! I see to see why… Why am I here and he isn't!"
In that brief moment, as Maotelus tried calming her down, Eleanor knew. It was just like that before. So many times, she refuted it stubbornly in the beginning, how she saw that other side of Velvet as she knew her. Purpose is what defines people, helps them, gives them a steady foothold on the world.
Now, without her vengeance, without her drive, what was she? Just a young woman trying to look out for her younger brother.
Without that, what was she then?
-.-.-
The great Globe Theater of Loegres was a sight to behold. Countless plays and concerts were held there, risers made from the best engineers that the Empire could afford. Playwrights of all kinds floundered to its wooden halls. Menageries brought fantastic creatures beyond the Empire's reach. Adventurers and traders brought exotic wares.
But Alexandra Fenris Breuse knew what today was.
Her little sister, Ceres Ylgr Breuse was having her debut concert. Of course, she was just a part of the entire act, a Valkyrie to the great gods of old.
The grey knight hopped off her horse, taking Amelia with her as the horse bucked. Her escort yelling, "Milady!" as she ran down the streets. She could hear the act. Just as Ceres was singing, and an orchestra playing alongside her. Faster and faster, she ran. Even Amelia had trouble keeping up.
Through the entrance, she flashed the tickets she got from her guards before they arrived.
A song of a little angel rolling up and down her octaves. So many times, she heard Ceres practice non-stop for this exact moment. Into the pew section, she knew exactly where her seat was.
The high tone holding as long as she could, Alex sliding to her seat, taking a breath herself.
Strings of the orchestra stopped. The last breaths of her note holding as long as they could, and she saw a young girl holding her arms up.
Light above clouds broke through, illuminating her as she clasped herself. The audience applauded at her stunning performance. Roaring whistles and cheers from the lower class howled ever so slightly above the rest of them.
The young blonde girl looked to the crowds until her eyes met with Alex. A soft smile grew on her face. Alex could tell she wanted to just wave at her, but she was still in the opera.
She shared a smile back, leaning into her seat.
She wouldn't have missed this for the world.
Alex gazed to the rest of them. But in the upper section, she stopped two people. An older man with his wife. The same crest that flew on her home's banners. Intense eyes meeting towards. There were little settlements between them.
"Father…"
The stage reset as different actors and people came to. Alex got up from her seat, watching her father do the same. Her mother tried pulling him back down as they exited the pews. Amelia was leaning against the walls, seeing the blonde pass by her.
"Oh, come on!" She huffed, following behind her.
Out into the backstage area, the elder Breuse man stood, arms crossed. While he wore no armor, his frame stood out. A half-jacket, half-cape resting on his shoulders and arms. Green eyes darker than the forests that dotted their home territory.
"Alexandra. I see that you're still playing the knight."
Alex did her best to bind her teeth. "Father. I see that you've managed to see my sister's recital despite your schedule."
Daggers already and Amelia stood back. She's seen these fights before. Not of physical weapons, but of words. Too many mercenaries' companies and internal disputes. Even family may draw blood for one another.
"Have you finally decided to put away these infantile delusions of a dream?"
"Have you finally decided to shove that stoicism for what's right in front of you?"
For all the fates in the world, I Don't Want to Be anything other than myself, even with contradictions
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