Ambrosia

by AyaxRoses

'Love. To truly love, that was one of the only things in this world that would never die. Even if you wished it to. Subaru and Kamui had grown to understand this painfully well.' An alternative ending to the final battle and a future for Subaru and Kamui to be happy together. SubKam SubaruxKamui BL-Yaoi-Shounen-Ai Past Fuuma/Kamui.

1. Love Lies Bleeding

Subaru x Kamui

Ambrosia

Ch 1 Love Lies Bleeding

Author's Notes:

This first chapter has a lot of Kamui x Fuuma with an alternative ending to the series. I am using some themes and moments from the anime and manga

. Brief bouts of Seishirou/Subaru mentioned in the past tense, not the way the feeling of love is suddenly gone is gone. But it's more so with Subaru getting some clarity to keep living and hold tight to his precious person

So, I swear this is a painful route to Subaru/Kamui-good ending, and falling for each other, being each other's stability.

---

Ambrosia

Maybe there is no path to take for everyone to be happy, but that didn't mean Kamui would ever stop trying to find one. At the least, a path to bring hope for his living loved ones, and of course, the person closest to his heart. The one who his wish revolved around.

Love. To truly love, that was one of the only things in this world that would never die. Even if you wished it to. Subaru and Kamui had grown to understand this painfully well.

While Kamui had the hope for a change, the former seal went numb. Only darkness clouded the onmyouji's mind and heart. Subaru's being had fully given in or more so given up. The dark-haired male fell into the darkness, knowing fully well he would fall into the abyss. And there was no one who would bring him back.

After all, there were no true heroes in this world. None left to save him. To start time again.

Or so he had resigned.

---

1999. The year of the final fated battle had long since begun and brought tremendous pain and sorrow. The weight of the earth and humanity's future fell on the young savior's shoulders. Kamui calmed himself, lips pursing tightly before he breathed out slowly. He hesitantly turned the knob of a familiar door, opening to a dim, blank room.

Sitting in the middle of the room, was the former seal for the Dragon's of Heaven. The dark-haired Onmyouji was lifeless. Kamui approached, closer, rather cautiously, despite knowing his entrance, likely, wouldn't even be noticed.

The boy stopped, gaze boring into still eyes below, begging to find a hint of emotion. The pair of golden and emerald eyes which clouded over with emptiness, reflecting the boy before him like a foggy glass. His body was that of a shell, sitting lifelessly in that grey chair, hands on either side of him, entirely unmoving. Much like that of a porcelain doll resting on a shelf, having long outgrown its value to the owner, who once cherished it most.

His very soul seemed to have fallen away, somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind. Kamui could only hope foolishly he would reach him.

The young raven-haired boy knelt down, leaning forward to meet the eyes of the person he held so dearly.

"Subaru," Kamui started softly, looking deep within those mismatched eyes, not moving as he wished. Although Kamui's own shone with deep emotion. "I've come to say farewell."

"I'm meeting Fuuma now to settle this…" He paused, eyes lowering as the light within them shivered.

"I don't know what's going to happen in the end," Kamui professed, his gaze shifting down while violet-blue eyes lost a hint of the earlier light in them. He looked away briefly from his precious one's stone eyes for the first time since he arrived.

"You told me something once you lost your eyes, I'll never forget…" Kamui professed out to the air, lips quivering. His gaze swiftly returned to look over the gentle-hearted man.

He felt his chest tighten, biting on the inside of his cheek. The fear of losing him would all too easily crash over him. But his mind couldn't linger there for long. "You had said you brought it upon yourself because you got what you wished for...even though turning your wish into a reality would make your loved one very sad."

"Subaru," he breathed out once more, glancing up to meet those same impassive golden and emerald orbs.

"Do you still believe you made your wish come true?" Kamui implored, taking a silent breath, before reaching to place his hand gently over the older man's. They had shared this kind of intimacy before, and the image of waking to feel Subaru holding his hand so devotedly, smiling as he had awoken...that too would never fade. Even if the hand beneath his fingers lacked familiar warmth, the memory of the incredibly kind man's touches had been committed to memory.

The raven-haired teen knelt his head down again. His gaze fixated on their hands, mind restless over their wishes. "I want to bring back the Fuuma I once knew." My Fuuma. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to use that possessive term. Especially not to Subaru, not after knowing how much he had suffered for his own shattered love.

Kamui had only recently come to terms with it all himself. The boy sighed, even if his words reached nothing but empty walls, he opened his mouth again to speak. If there was the smallest hint of a chance, he'd continue on. "Fate will decide whether I succeed or fail…"

The boy's eyebrows lowered, scrunching lines upon his temples. Those violet eyes shivered painfully as his lips only curved further south.

"My heart is sealed up so tightly, I don't even know what I truly wish for…" His heart sank further at the silence, knowing he had foolishly held on to the smallest of chances Subaru would arise to the surface. To hear the tenderly soft voice of the man who protected him countless times in their battles. The voice that brought him back to life.

Violet-blue eyes shut painfully tight. "It's time for me to go…"

"Even now I hear him calling," Kamui exhaled softly before his gaze steeled in resolution. Kamui leaned down, gently pressing his lips upon the older man's hand. He was reluctant to arise, after that, knowing this would be the final time he…

Kamui shook his head. This was the only path to make his wish come true. His hand clenched tight around the covered holy sword.

"Farewell, " he hushed. The teen gazed to meet any semblance of movement in the dual-toned orbs before him. Once again, they failed.

"Subaru…" His voice breathed out impossibly soft and turned to leave. The very room itself seemed to darken further at his exit.

---

Nightfall long since began in the lifeless room. Only the gleam of the crescent moon shone down upon the broken figure beneath it. A soft petal fell silently, over the man whose duty as the next Sakurazukamori fell upon.

Dual-toned eyes held still, impassive and broken, as the soul inside lingered. The world inside of him remained broken and desolate. It mirrored that the shattered world predicted at fate's end. Broken fragments of an empty road were the only things beyond the endless desert sands, within this void.

"Subaru?" A female's soft and incredibly tender voice reached out. His twin sister had finally gotten to see her brother, after all this time. But for it to be like this…

"Subaru…" She gently called for him, with a comforting curve of her lips. One she held since the moment of their birth. The voice of his dear sister, one he had only heard for so long in dreams. Yet, even her words, here, seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"I asked to be brought out here," She explained. The female's face lowered, lines scrunching up on her temples, while in thought. Her face was nearly identical to her despondent brother. Even beyond the afterlife, she had adorned herself in bright-colored clothing which contrasted greatly amongst the world she visited. Perhaps, if Subaru had been in the same state of mind as before, he'd laugh with her, even comment on her vibrant sense of fashion staying the same into the afterlife...but there was no time to pretend. They were on borrowed time.

A near-identical face to Subaru began to fall, as her eyes fell upon her twin. "I wanted to talk to you.."

"Subaru," she tried again, knowing very well she would never stop trying for her brother's happiness. The older twin began to close the remaining distance, now standing directly behind her brother, gathering her courage to speak of this without breaking. Subaru needed her here to be his strength more than anything.

"I asked to be brought out here because... I really wanted to talk to you." Her hands clenched tightly behind her back, with trembling eyes downcast towards her side. "The spell I cast on Seishirou was supposed to protect you," Her melancholic eyes shivered. She further lamented, "Yet, it hurt you even more…"

"I did it for you and Seishirou, for both your sakes…" Regret fell through trembling lips. "But my wish didn't come true."

The older twin leaned closer, ending the distance that had so long separated them. Her hands lovingly and gently caressed, squeezed, and held to her brother's shoulders. "I know you've had a rough time…" She rested her chest against his back. Her face leaned in close before settling near the back of her twin's head.

"But still you can't just stay here, it's time to go back. Seishirou and I can't go back, we don't live in your world anymore... the world of the living," Near identical green eyes lowered before softening. "But we both still live inside your Heart, Subaru."

We both will always love you.

The older twin turned to meet her brother's eyes seeming to lighten just a bit? Or perhaps she had been wishing that. "Never forget that!" She proclaimed, hands tightening around his shoulders as she leaned close. "There must be something you still want to protect."

A shudder coursed through the older twin as she saw the world blighting. It was already time. "Think Subaru!" She urged.

"Subaru!" A desperate tone she had not used since she had urged him to come back-past Seishirou's betrayal. Perhaps, hoping her brother would find love again in his lifetime. Maybe it was cruel to both her brother and Seishirou...yet the thought of her younger brother always so alone in the living realm ached far worse.

The world around her faded, she clasped her arms around her brother's neck one last time before hugging him painfully tight.

She breathed against his cheek, "I love you...Subaru,"

The darkness seeped over the fragile world. Black shadows crept over the atmosphere, forcibly taking his sister away no matter how reluctantly she held onto him.

From within the room, Subaru's right hand began to twitch. Tears sprung from his eyes slowly, before fully rushing down like waterfalls. The dam he built within his heart crumbled.

"Hokuto…"

Intense pain surged within the man's chest. He clutched towards the silky fabric, over his heart, before leaning over with a cry of pain. Yet, it was somehow far less difficult to handle than the numbness that once held him so tightly.

Something I want to protect…

Subaru closed his eyes and held his breath to soothe his aching heart, that was forced to beat again, no matter what pain surfaced.

Bright, sparkling violet-blue eyes immediately came to mind. The older man cursed at his heart for speeding up so easily, for coming to life quickly as he recalled the touch the boy left upon his hand.

His farewell...

Kamui remained the sole source of warmth left in this world. The one he wished to...

The feeling of lips brushing softly over his hand resurfaced. The awakened man, gasped covering his mouth with his hand. He knew this feeling all too well... There was no battle with the heart that could be won. Not like this. Subaru took a long, painful breath out, the first breath into this new life, future.

The Sumeragi head found the very bit of strength in his legs to finally rise to his feet.

"Farewell, Subaru."

The voice that only passed through with an inaudible static sound, in his consciousness was now screaming-each word replaying painfully loud. The pain from the boy he had been destined-no-desired to protect was echoing into the depths of his heart.

"I'm meeting with Fuuma now to settle this. I don't know what's going to happen in the end."

Shivering eyes closed painfully tight. His right hand reached out to press against the cool glass. There was no point in arguing with himself, with what he needed to do.

"Fate will decide whether I succeed or fail."

Subaru's hand clenched tightly against his side. Fingernails dug and marked against the skin of his palm.

Fate...the end of the world the end of-

Subaru shook his head. He would never let a future that cruel come to reality. To lose someone he cared for so profoundly; it would never come to pass. Never again.

---

At last, the final battle was at hand. The two Kamui's met upon the red beams of the Tokyo Tower. Their eyes locked painfully (for heaven's Kamu, at least). Glistening eyes of violet shifted with resolve towards the Kamui of Earth.

"Fuuma," Kamui yearned, feeling every bit of pain. Still seeing him when he solely wished to see his Fuuma.

"The revolution the Earth wishes for will begin. Apparently, you're the only one who is standing in the way…" Earth's Kamui proclaimed, voice as dark and cold as his eyes always had been before him.

Kamui refused to meet his gaze just then, His nimble fingers began to unsheath the divine Shinken from its bindings.

"Fighting destiny is useless, you should know that better than anyone…"

Fuuma began to withdraw his sword from its covering. Kamui's slender fingers held tightly to his own. His wish would be brought to life or denied, right here and now... at this very moment.

---

Kamui wouldn't lie to his heart. A piece of that very heart belonged to Fuuma eternally and probably had for ages. That wasn't to say his heart hadn't loved and bled tremendously for both of his two most precious persons.

Kotori was very much so, his precious loved one. A childhood crush or love, a feeling so innocent and pure. Of course, this world would crush it. As much as the ideal of childhood sweethearts seemed to be enough it was far from the only emotion stirring inside him. Soon he was forced to confront, there was a difference when it came to Fuuma. Although both siblings were held tightly in the depths of his heart, a difference in love remained.

Maybe he has become masochistic, when Fuuma- no- the Dragon of Earth's Kamui, took over. Maybe, he was forced to admit to how tightly bound his wish remained to his heart. Even tormented to go on the brink of death...he couldn't help but wonder. What would that caress feel like beyond the pain? What would that kiss feel like beyond all the blood, if it had come from his Fuuma? The earth's Kamui still held Fuuma's physical form...he could close his eyes and escape. Just pretend. It would be so easy…

Yet, he would always try to force himself to keep his eyes wide open, to not lose himself completely to this nightmare in hopes of it changing into a gentle dream. Although, the urge to resist hadn't always won over.

He has regrets. Far too many to keep count of. Fuuma being one at the very core. Why didn't he realize sooner? It had been so obvious looking back. There was the gentle way his closest friend would caress his face, or hold him tightly to his chest. Kamui recalled that warmth, the way a part of his mind felt at ease, listening to the heartbeat symphony. The sound gave Kamui the feeling he was coming home.

He should have just realized and confessed. Should have kissed Fuuma breathless to the point where the gentle feel of the man he once knew would always linger over his lips. Hell, maybe he should have just thrown himself at Fuuma, the very second the chance arrived. Before their fate, their preordained future made any semblance of intimacy between them impossible. Yet, there was the chance being even closer would backfire. It may have only increased the pain of losing Fuuma beyond words, and entirely immeasurable.

To have loved so deeply and lost so cruelly. Or... To comprehend the depths of your heart's desires, only to know you may never have those chances again to do anything about them. Which was truly the worse fate?

Perhaps it was the cruel hands of time that forced this day to come...perhaps going through an ongoing hell, pushed those feelings of desire further. The desire to bring out the light, the desire to bring back the person he cared for, a love that kept him going beyond the trials of hell itself.

Perhaps that became what separated the pure, gentler emotion of a childhood love, to a love bleeding so painfully strong, a love for the one would live and die for.

Kamui deemed he would never understand. No matter how much he loved Kotori and how deep his soul fell the day he lost her...he couldn't let go of his wish. He would never stop loving the one who took so much away. He loved the person inside, trapped by destiny, forced to commit heinous acts.

How the hell his heart managed to feel again was far beyond him. He had fallen so hard, knowing he would never fully rise again.

Yet, his heart seemed to open more towards his fellow Dragons of Heaven. A hope lingered. A profound connection was being created with one in particular. Unknown to humanity's destined savior, the seeds of a new love were sown for the young boy. It was still in its infancy. Yet, lingering...

Perhaps, he was blessed to have many precious loved ones who would cry for him. Even if it meant their tears, and their pain...his wish must come true.

---

Fuuma. Kamui's mind kept yearning. His determination glistened in the light-toned eyes. He raised his sword, leaping high upon the metal beams on the tower.

The Dragon of Heaven's Kamui descended swiftly towards his opponent. Fuuma avoided the aerial attack, raising his own sword and blocking with ease.

The two Kamui's began the dance of their swords. Fuuma rushed in forward, relentlessly against the smaller male. His strikes were swift and lethal. Each strike of the sword needed to be carefully blocked by Heaven's Kamui.

The two twin stars spent countless turns going back and forth. They were rushing towards one another, striking with an immeasurable force of power, only for it to be blocked. Then the defender would shift to an offense. And so it would repeat.

This "Fuuma" held no hesitation to destroy all around them. His glimmering Shinken sliced easily through every beam of the tower it collided with. The two Kamuis descended further down, landing upon one of the few remaining platforms.

I can win. Kamui convinced himself, his gaze burning with a source of rage.

I will win! He had to. He couldn't stand to have his Fuuma taken over a second longer!

I will end this! Those violet eyes went aflame, and slender fingers gripped the hilt of the sword brutally tight.

Heaven's Kamui lunged forward, rushing in close. Slender arms thrust the sword harshly forward, a strike aimed to inflict pain to awaken his loved one.

Time stilled. The very dream of bringing his Fuuma back felt at a standstill. The tip of the blade had merely brushed Fuuma's chest.

Kamui's slender fingers grasped desperately at the hilt to keep pushing forward. Eyes widened in horror, tense lines dawning on his face. He trembled.

The Shinken lightened, considerably. The very holy sword that had taken so long to find, one that required painstaking sacrifices and effort to keep safe… simply shattered. From the tip back towards the hilt, pieces broke off with the fragility of glass. The world voided with darkness, stilling the smaller boy's movements.

"No…Impossible" Kamui breathed the words. His lips parted, while violet eyes widened.

"This can't be." His twin star's sword thrust brutally into his shoulder blade. Yet, the flowing blood and agony took a backseat at the realization of their fated future.

Humanity's remaining hope was falling, seeing the shadows darkening over what used to be Fuuma's face. His chest ached to see the eyes he had loved for so long piercing with animosity. The stab bled deeper to his very soul. More so than any Shinken could ever hope to achieve.

"Kamui, when you challenged me you signed your own death warrant. What a shame," He mocked ruthlessly. "Now you'll never awaken as the true Kamui, of the Dragons of Heaven." The Heaven of Earth's Kamui smirked.

"A dragon of heaven who uses the Shinken to attack someone he's promised to protect can never unleash its true power."

Kamui's lips trembled, losing his breath as the truth of the words pierced sharply, aiming directly at the heart, as he always said to.

His eyebrows raised before darkened eyes glimmered with amusement. His twin star clasped tightly to the edge of his Shinken, eyes glazing over at the blood pouring from the wound. "Even as you try to convince yourself you could win, you had already chosen defeat."

The smaller male shivered, heart, sinking further. Slender hands began shaking and Kamui felt his knees quivering, dying to give in and collapse.

Perhaps pure instinct allowed Kamui to stay conscious. His eyes shivered painfully while taking in the rush of pain as the dark Kamui's blade was forcibly thrust out from its own wounded nest. Kamui fell to his knees.

"Face it Kamui, there is simply no way that you can win against me. Indeed, there is only one future. Only one…"

Soft violet eyes fogged over before closing painfully tight once more. The dark 'Fuuma' continued the battle ruthlessly, leaving Kamui on the defensive. He held to what was left of his sword. Kamui kept dodging swiftly enough from an impact, movements unconscious more from a survival instinct than a conscious desire. Hopelessness set in.

Only one future...

Skyscrapers, towers, and homes collapsed throughout Tokyo. The roads were cut in half as the spirit of the Dragon of Earth attacked.

Kamui shivered. His eyes opened only to see his twin star rushing in closer. He saw Fuuma voicing something out along the lines of It's over. His mind fogged over.

Fuuma's aim was entirely perfect, he saw it as his heart sped up. Approaching closer and closer, yet the last millisecond the blade shifted from where his heart would be.

Maybe he was still inside somewhere...beyond the darkness. Shivering eyes screamed towards the dark Kamui for a change, one final time. Pleading for a revolution not of the earth but within his Fuuma's heart.

Time slowed, the smaller male shrunk into himself. Eyes closed subconsciously, reluctantly reaching a point of surrender.

Fuuma… Kamui's chest tightened before settling in with a sense of mind-numbing despair. He clutched at his wounded chest.

Lips curved down painfully. Kamui's teeth bit harshly down on the skin inside his lips. A part of himself had been preventing giving in. He was forcing his mind to stay conscious through all the physical pain.

"Everyone of the seals is gone now, I've won…" Fuuma proclaimed haughtily. Eyes glaring down at the Kamui who struggled to rise to his feet.

No. It can't end like this...not while Fuuma is still…

"Fu...ma…" Kamui begged, the last remains of his voice faltering. Dark crimson eyes stared down at him without mercy. A sinister smile fell over the other's lips, as he raised the Shinken for its final descent.

"The Earth is impatient, it wants me to grant its wish right now!"

Kamui's violet-blue eyes widened in horror. His mouth opened in a silent scream, his own life beginning to flash as the edge of the blade came closer and closer. Kamui felt his stomach and chest contract painfully, preparing for the final blow.

The smaller male had heard the slash of the sword, yet felt nothing. His eyes fluttered open blurrily to catch the hint of a familiar golden wall sealing him from his twin star. Said male had sliced the barrier perfectly in half. Kamui's mind was racing, eyes delirious as he felt a familiar touch around his waist, his body being carried off swiftly.

He saw a flash of light while being whisked off. Bright purple eyes glistened over, taking in the familiar star-shaped kekkai. He witnessed more of the translucent green barrier from the corner of his eyes.

His mind was barely processing before Kamui felt protective arms encase around his waist. The warmth hadn't lasted, soon he was deposited onto the tower's remaining platform. His body fell upon the cold metal floor below, as Subaru's hold over him broke.

Blue-violet eyes wavered, the light in them shaking more and more as he saw a flash of fluttering white. He sat up instantaneously, noticing the familiar form of the star barrier. His heart began to pound wildly, as he noticed the white coat covering the wounded figure.

The older raven-haired man, breathed out harshly, before turning back. His tired wounded, gaze searched for and held Kamui.

"Subaru..." Kamui shivered. He felt his heart beginning to thaw from the frozen barrier within. There was a soft, lost yet gentle shine within the older man's eyes. One he hadn't realized he missed so terribly before now. The gleam of kindness held the Kamui in place, that same look of kindness, adoration- Kamui had always felt between them returned.

Subaru was here…

Subaru was here?!

But Why? Subaru had resigned to his fate. They already said their farewells to one another. Subaru had lost all he loved, yet the Kekkai remained, only faltering as the older male succumbed to his injuries. Yet the sight of it once more...desire to protect took over. A desire to have something that meant enough for him to return to a bleak reality.

The younger boy's breath hitched, taking in every bit of strength to rise up and close the distance between them. There was a pull, Kamui knelt beside the older male.

Subaru grunted, eyes wincing as he leaned back against the railing behind him. Kamui's hand, held onto the older male's shoulder, helping the other sit back up.

"Subaru…" Kamui's words were flowing softly. Frantic violet eyes shook with deep concern, as the younger male leaned in close.

"Why?" he cried. Eyebrows were shifting and lowering, while he searched the other's passive features for a reason.

"I'm glad I came in time.." he responded, voice weak and husky. He felt Kamui's warmth before him, and the older male was only forced to further confirm the feelings he suspected lingering within. "The power you were wishing for. I still have a little bit left…" Dual-toned eyes closed resolutely. "But there isn't much time...we'll have to hurry."

The older male clasped tightly around Kamui's hand naturally. "My power's unruly...it's hard to control. Kamui. The rest is up to you.."

The younger male bowed his head, bangs falling over his closed eyes. "I'll try," he promised, squeezing the hand within his own tightly. "But...I don't know if I...'

"Kamui," his voice lowered, softened, holding tight to the boy's hand. "Do you remember when I went inside your consciousness, in an attempt to bring you back to reality?" A soft nod followed. "Later on it was you who decided to come back. Have you ever regretted that decision or felt that you made the wrong choice?" he implored.

"No, I don't regret it and I never will," Kamui answered, opening eyes he has forgotten he closed slowly, softly. His heart skipped a beat.

"I know," Subaru professed, with the gentlest smile he had long since forgotten how to form...until now. "And that's all you really need...the path to the fulfillment of your wish, is the one you've been on all your life."

The older male's weakened features softened further. "Just follow it...until you reach…" The hand over Kamui's hand loosened before falling to his side. "The end…" He finished, voice finishing tenderly. Heavy eyelids fluttered closed a sense of purpose easing him to his state of unconsciousness.

The Kekkai around them began to slowly dissolve. Kamui's eyes were frantic and flowing with emotion. He reached towards the older male's side, squeezing his hand painfully tight. "Subaru!" He pleaded desperately. Yet, the very barrier continued to slowly fade, dissolving further until only the trace of a faint star in the sky remained.

"Subaru.." he whimpered. Kamui moved in close to press their foreheads together. "I'll never forget your kindness...even long after I'm gone from this world." The boy gave one final squeeze before, rising to his feet.

"I won't let your sacrifice go to waste…" He promised, turning to meet the cold crimson gaze in the distance.

Kamui leaped towards one of the few remaining pillars of the tower, at a crossroads with his dearest friend.

"This is the end, Kamui," the voice proclaimed, far too resolute and cold to be anything close to his Fuuma. The smaller male held a hand to his chest. His violet eyes closed, professing. "My wish is at the end…"

It would be his promise, as the voices of all his loved one's words seeped through his mind. Words he had taken to heart resounded inside himself, and he stepped closer and closer. His eyes looking forward, not looking or feeling the golden glow surrounding himself at his new resolve for his wish.

"The Dragons of Heaven, have perished!" that voice continued to haunt him. The form of his dearest friend moved forward, raising his Shinken up high, into the sky above. Kamui breathed out softly, this moment was all he had. His last chance.

Kamui had braced for the impact, yet once again was soon denied. His eyes fluttered open and widened. The very aura around him began to glow with a brilliant light of gold, the same energy keeping the two Kamuis apart. Heavenly wings had sprung somehow painlessly upon his back.

Fuuma's eyes began to shiver and quake, unable to make a move forward. "Impossible…" the low voice cursed out, holding tightly to the precious Shinken only to feel is ripped ruthlessly from his own hands.

There hadn't been a chance to recover as the holy sword began to arise on its own glowing with a blinding light. The shattered pieces of Kamui's own Shinken glowed goldenly. The very pieces began to soar, the light around it glowing profusely. A blinding light took hold of the Shinken's hilt, rising it high above the sky. Pieces once shattered began to form together once more. The very same holy sword sealed itself together and bound more tightly than before.

The two Shinkens that once fought each other, raised high towards the heavens. The two holy blades surrounded each other. They fused together, moving closer and closer in a ritual dance before another blinding light flashed before them.

Kamui's mind, and very soul awakened. His wish would be a reality. The desire to protect burned inside glowing violet eyes, the divine aura strengthened further. The golden glow radiated heat. The Dragon of Earth's Kamui found himself pushed back by the force emitting from the dazzling light.

The two Shinken bound were surrounded by a golden barrier. Finally, the true form of the holy sword had been forged. The sword glistened silver and gold, merging the two Shinken's blades, with angelic white and black feathers cradling its form.

"The true Kamui…"

Even the violet-blue eyes gleamed of an ethereal nature. A golden halo surrounded glistening irises. The sword fell within Kamui's hands, as he rose up towards the darkened sky, igniting the dimness with a light surpassing the very sun itself.

"So you've finally done it...very well…" Fuuma fully surrendered. "It seems you'll also make my wish a reality…" The tall male fixed his gaze onto Heaven's Kamui, eyes full of resolution. He leaped from the beams of the Tokyo Tower, standing firmly in place.

"Fuuma, I will bring you back here and now," Kamui promised. His heavenly wings stretched out impossibly wide and blinding. The very power to change the future, to protect. He could feel this. His wish would become…reality.

Kamui descended swiftly towards his beloved, eyes transfixed while his body seemed to move on its own. The holy sword began screaming at its wielder, thrusting, and guiding Kamui towards its target.

He continued to close in. Kamui's aim had only been to come closer, to allow the power bestowed upon him to surround his dear friend. The ethereal light surrounded the darker Kamui's form. Kamui began closing in, hands locked tight upon the hilt.

The aim was only meant to brush by the other to bring the true Fuuma to the surface. Rushing in at the speed of a god, Kamui found his eyes shivering at a sudden movement towards him. The Kamui of the Dragon's of Earth...or no Fuuma...had…

"You never could...aim for the heart."

Tears fell harshly, rapidly, as the endless storm of emotion fell through Kamui. Fuuma stood right at the heart of the blade, taking the blow at full force. The harsh sound of the blade cutting through flesh was deafening.

"Kamui," an all too familiar voice resurfaced. "Ka..mui.." the voice, his Fuuma's voice soothed, broken up only by the need to cough out violently.

"Fuuma…" Kamui's voice shut down. He dove in frantically, kneeling beside his love before cradling him in his arms. An arm rested behind the larger male's back, while the free arm moved upward. His hand cradled the back of Fuuma's head. "W-why?"

A warmth overwhelmed him, as a larger hand took hold of his own, placing them above Kamui's heart. Fuuma's eyes fluttered shut, as he rested his head against that same place.

"Your heartbeat…" Fuuma murmured, eyes lingering with a sense of love and devotion froze the smaller male in place. "It's always been so painfully beautiful to hear…" he professed, smiling as he felt the shiver move through Kamui's form. "I fall harder every time I'd hear it...even as kids. Kamui resisted the urge to clutch at his chest, his face flushing wildly. Eyes of violet were blearing up, a storm threatening.

"Fuuma…"

"It's racing like crazy now…Kamui" he teased gently. Somehow with the most loving tone that Kamui had ever heard anyone use towards him. Tired eyes glanced up to meet Kamui's expression. Fuuma stilled, listening to the beating sound, refusing to move from his place. Lips curved in a tired smile. Auburn eyes held tightly, not wavering from the glistening violet orbs. Orbs that we're drowning in sadness.

Kamui crashed their bodies swiftly and impossibly close. His arms surrounded the larger male, pulling into a painfully tight embrace. He eased only slightly while bringing Fuuma's head and chest entirely flushed against his own chest.

"Kamui?" Fuuma's soft, loving voice once gone had finally returned. A larger hand reached and caressed Kamui's cheek. "I…"

"Fuuma. You don't have to say anything...or push yourself after everything. It'll be alright...I'll-I'll..." Kamui's breath hitched. His chest aching. The taller, weakened male leaned up. His lips pressed against the side of Kamui's cheek resting there and silencing the younger boy.

"Kamui, you were calling for me the whole time weren't you?" The misty gaze above him confirmed his answer. He laughed softly, yet entirely bittersweet. His fingers rested upon trembling lips, softly brushing over them. "You suffered so much for me..haven't you?" Fingers brushed towards the side of the smaller male's face. They traced gentle circles against the burning skin beneath.

"Yet, no matter what I had done, no matter who had suffered, who I killed-"

"That wasn't your fault! Fuuma you weren't even in control! You can't blame yourself!"

Fuuma grasped for his hand tightly. While his other hand moved and continued to caress the side of his cheek. Lips curled into a gentle, softened smile. "Thank you...but I know I've still caused tremendous pain…" his voice breathed out weakly, eyes threatening to tear apart. A storm was swirling inside tired auburn eyes.

"Fuuma...please just stop...don't push yourself like this. You've only just come back. We'll work through everything together. I'll always be with you and we'll… we will…" Tears spilled out relentlessly, cold drops falling and dampening his love's face. "We'll move forward t-together, and change our future and-"

Fuuma's finger pressed firmly over the boy's lips. He shook his head weakly.

"You and I both know, those days won't come to pass…"

Violet eyes surrounded with a veil of tears, a redness formed around them. Kamui's breath hitched. Slender fingers stole the hand over his lips, squeezing it painfully tight. His breath was shaking. The smaller boy broke down and collapsed upon his love.

The older male took the weight upon him with ease, even by his injuries, only able to feel the desired warmth after so-so long. "I've committed unforgivable sins, whether it was within my control or not. Only now was I able to stop, to have you fulfill my wish…"

"Your wish?"

A hand reached up, and caressed Kamui's flushed cheeks. He motioned for Kamui to come closer, and whispered deep-seeded words of love, right into the boy's ear. Kamui's mouth went ajar, purple eyes were feverish with tears. Emotions ran wildly down Kamui's face...

"I knew you would be the only one who could grant it. Yet, despite everything leading up to this, I'll never forgive myself," Fuuma reached for the back of Kamui's neck, pulling them closer. Their foreheads kissed, as the older male caressed his love's face. "For, I had hurt so deeply...the person I love the most."

Whatever had been remaining inside Kamui's heart shattered completely.

The ethereal wings against the true Kamui's back started to fade. Neither of the Kamuis had bothered to look away, as the kekkai Kamui formed at last began to heal. Angelic feathers dissolved, before reviving into countless orbs of light. A final wish, for the world Kotori and Fuuma loved dearly, was to be granted. A golden light surrounded the two broken lovers, granting them a moment of warmth, peace, and relief before spreading out around them.

The golden light and glow began to encase the spot where the former barrier field had been. Flashes of translucent golden light spread out and up through the sky surrounding the broken tower, before restoring it towards its original form. The healing wish extended its light throughout all of Tokyo. Blinding golden light caressed the broken world around it. The light turned towards a cooler shade of green to expose a restored world. The energy and sheer power from his wish, the pure desire to save and protect, spread throughout the very earth.

Not far off from the twin stars, came another miracle, an impact of the wish. The head of the Sumeragi clan was stirring, eyes blearing open slowly. The once opened, fatal wound surrounding Subaru began to seal itself. The very sense of pain fled from the onmyouji as he found the strength to sit up.

Emerald and golden eyes fluttered open, as his lips parted, breathing in the sight of the sun above, shining brilliantly over the earth, as though heaven itself wished it. Subaru glanced frantically feeling an enormous source of power, alive and close by.

"Ka...mui…"

He felt a stab at the heart, seeing the boy he cared for so much, whimpering and collapsed over his dearest friend. No, his most important person. Kamui's slender arms were shaking, holding his beloved painfully close. The newly awoken male parted his lips to speak, before stopping himself, feeling a glimpse of the suffering a short distance away.

The closeness between the two males felt suffocating, and guilt settled in Subaru's core for longing to claim what was not his own. He was hating the selfishness and envy that flowed naturally to the surface. He felt and understood how that familiar broken, despondent expression. The young male bled for his dearest person. The raven-haired male forced his eyes wide shut, fighting down the urge to approach, to feel, to comfort Kamui.

Said male was wracked with pain. Shuddering roughly and pressing himself as close as possible to the one he loved. "F-fuuma...you really…"

"Of course, I do. I always have." Fuuma breathed against the smaller boy's lips. He squeezed the younger boy's hand. He extended his free hand to brush against the side of the boy's cheek, coaxing him to ease in his hold enough to meet his eyes. "Kamui...I'm in love with you. "

"Fuuma…" The slender raven-haired male curled himself further into the larger male. He could feel the loving smile, beaming against his chest once more. "I…"

"I've been in love with you since the day I first laid eyes on you," he professed, taking their joined hands together and peppering kisses upon the trembling hand. Memories flashed through that rainy evening, Kamui's innocence shielding a puppy from the rain, forming a desire to protect within the older male had never felt before. That was where destiny bound and brought them together for the first time. "I always promised I'd protect you...so how could I ever let that promise go...and break it?."

Kamui shuddered, arms tightening with a bruising hold. Tears flooded, and he was bawling, crying out the other's name. Fuuma squeezed the hand holding Kamui. He reached his free, weakened hand to gently rub circles upon Kamui's back.

Time was running out. Fuuma winced, mind threatening to give in, to finally rest.

"Kamui, this was the only way to fulfill my wish...to protect you and to die by the hands of the one I love the most."

"To die…" His heart stopped. "NO-you Can't….Please, don't- you can't die here!" Kamui screeched, as he surged forward to push them further against the ground beneath. Fuuma let out a soft gasp, feeling his back upon the steel surface, and a warm body falling over him. Hands dug into Fuuma's shirt while dampening eyes were buried against his shoulder.

"P-please…" Kamui pleaded, desperately, voice cracking as he finished.

"I want you to live on in this world, and find all the happiness the world could offer you. You are my world, Kamui…" Fuuma breathed out hugging the weeping boy, feeling lips press against his collarbone.

"I-love you so damn much-" Kamui loudly blurted his confession emotions desperately. "I...Fuuma, you-you can't...I need you." He sniffled, feeling large hands caressed the back of his head, tangling his fingers in the raven locks.

"I'm not leaving you Kamui...I will always be right here…" Hands brushed smoothly across the smaller male's chest. Fuuma's features softened, lines relaxing on his face, as he sighed with a contented smile. Red-brown eyes lowered and clouded over with acceptance. "It's because I love you…that I'll always remain..."

Fuuma leaned forward, pressing a hand flat on Kamui's chest. The younger boy flustered, wiping at the overflow of emotion on his cheeks. He sat up, giving his beloved space to follow suit. Strong arms wrapped around Kamui's shoulders, pressing their bodies flushed together. Lips pressed against the temple. "Please, grant me my last wish…" A kiss followed right upon the trail of tears down Kamui's left eye, followed by the right. Lips pressed to the smaller boy's nose and hovered before soft pink lips.

"I need you to live on, and find happiness in this life…Kamui" His auburn eyes shifted, before glancing at the spiritualist who waited silently from a distance, glancing tenderly at Kamui from a distance. Memories from his time as the "Kamui", crashed in his mind. Countless scenes of battle. What kept resurfacing was the image of the onmyouji rushing in to protect Kamui without a second thought. It's only a matter of time, then... Fuuma had surrendered to the thought.

It ached. The onmyouji''s energy and power were flowing inside Kamui. Fuuma loved Kamui most dearly but... he wouldn't steal Kamui from beyond the grave...not if it cost his most precious one a chance to be happy to have a future. It was inevitable. Their exchanges, that protectiveness, he could feel even now. It was all painfully apparent. He could feel the older man stealing glances at Kamui, before hurriedly averting his gaze.

"But, I am a selfish man...Kamui, and so I'm longing to have one of your firsts before any other can…" Fuuma's breath ghosted over the other's lips. His own lips broke out into a smile, feeling the wild shiver throughout the boy whose face painted pink.

Blue-violet eyes fluttered close softly, accepting everything they could share in these final moments. Slender arms wrapped tightly around the taller male's neck. The sleeker male found arms lowering to hold firmly around his middle, keeping them flushed together. Lips unconsciously parted, as the older male leaned down to seal the distance between them. Their lips pressed gently, chastely, tasting of the bitter and salty tears flooding between them. Kamui returned the kiss within seconds, pressing tightly and matching the movements he felt brushing firmly against him. He was allowing fingers to guide his head to tilt at a better angle, bringing them closer.

Neither moved to part their lips, as they moved languidly and slowly against each other, savoring every second fate allowed them.

"I love you Kamui…" Fuuma breathed against soft lips. Streaming, endless tears crashed down from Kamui's eyes. Fuuma found himself failing to keep his own emotions in check.

"I love you too...so...so much…" Kamui lamented, going back to press their lips together, keeping him as close as possible.

Fuuma's smile came out bittersweet within the kiss. He felt a weakness overcome him, losing his grip around Kamui.

"Fuuma?" Kamui felt the body going limp in his arms. The smaller boy cradled the older male against his chest. "Fuuma! Please...don't…" He whimpered.

"Keep living, Kamui...please...live to create more memories, find those who are irreplaceable to your heart, and keep them close..." Fuuma professed, feeling his strength beginning to leave, eyelids threatening to close. His hand reached to caress a tear-stained cheek one final time. "Please, go on, live this life to create a future where you can...be happy…" The hand upon Kamui's cheek began to slip. The smaller male grasped at the hand desperately.

Eyes gleaming with love fluttered closed, a peaceful line seamed on the older man's lips. The sobs long falling from Kamui's eyes were bleeding with grief.

"Fuuma! Hey, come on, Fuuma!" The smaller boy began shaking the now lifeless form in his arms. The torrents flooded under violet eyes, the boy now entirely wailing. Grasping at the older man desperately, squeezing his hand with a painful tightness.

"Fuuma! This-this isn't what I've wanted-how? How can you ask me to-to be happy now...I...Fuuma, please...Please..." Desperation rained through the boy, as he lamented, holding the lifeless form against his chest desperately. "Fuuma!" he pleaded, his heart screaming out.

"FUUMA!" FUUMA! PLEASE!" He screamed relentlessly, falling apart and collapsing against his beloved, never letting go of the other he loved beyond measure.

"FUUMA!" Kamui screeched, his name following over and over-before breaking to pieces.

"Please, don't go...not like this…" the boy's hoarse voice whispered to the air around him. He curled into a ball further, pressing his chest down to his legs, the figure of his beloved, laid on his lap. Kamui felt a piece of his heart, one he had given away so long ago, falling away...

---

Ruthless hours passed. Perhaps days? He couldn't tell. The raven-haired spiritualitst was resting against the tower's railings breathed a heavy sigh. Eyes shifted worriedly, swirling with a mix of emotions while giving the younger male all the time he needed. Emerald-gold eyes never failed to watch over the younger male, no matter how much the image threatened to tear him apart. No matter how often he looked away from the sight, he was pulled back within seconds. It took all the self-control in the world to not rush over there and hold the boy impossibly close. To spill out every ounce of emotion that was bleeding within.

He never imagined feeling this kind of pain being on the other side of a tragedy. While watching the one he cared for so much suffering, pleading for the man he loved to revive. Tears were slushing down the reddened, messy face. Earth's savior was hunched over the lifeless body wailing. His voice relentlessly screeched his love's name as though it were a spell to turn back the time.

"Kamui…" Subaru had, at last, given into his impulses. The onmyouji rose to his feet, as he began approaching the grieving boy. The boy who saved his own life and the fate of the world around him, the world of the man he most loved. He breathed a sigh, clutching at his chest, not expecting the pang to hurt this bad being on the other side of things. Had Kamui felt like this when Seishirou had...or was it his own wishful thinking?

"Kamui," his voice soothed, emerald and gold eyes shivering, as they looked upon the trembling, shaking male. The older male grasped at the sleeves of his white trench coat before slipping the fabric off with ease. He knelt down to drape the clothing over the fragile savior of their world. In it, he hoped to give Kamui some of his warmth, and his love he felt for the younger boy.

He bit inside his cheek. The man silently cursed his mind for even considering the notion of how he was also placing his scent over Kamui. This wasn't the time or place….maybe not now or ever. And that would be alright. All that mattered now was bringing Kamui back to him, back into the very world he strived to save.

The older male knelt behind the boy, embracing Kamui from behind. His chest pressed firmly, against the younger male's back. Heat radiated between his form, and he only hoped it was enough to add the smallest bit of comfort. "Kamui…" He breathed right into the younger male's boy, feeling stray strands of raven hair brushing against his cheek.

"I…" Kamui leaned back slightly, refusing to let go of the figure in his arms. Yet, he had tried. The boy had broken out a soft string of incoherent words before shuddering, and shaking as an onslaught of tears rushed down his cheeks. The arms around him tightened.

"You don't have to talk, " the older male spoke in a raspy tone. The head of raven hair rested itself upon Kamui's back.

"It's alright, " he assured, quietly, arms hugging the boy closer to himself. The older male leaned up, brushing his nose against the side of the other's neck. "You don't have to say anything...I am sure what you feel now is far beyond words."

Subaru felt a shaky hand hovering above his own. He swiftly shut down the urge to bring lips to that hand, to caress every trembling finger. Subaru's hand instead grasped the trembling hand, naturally threading their fingers together. The older male's gaze was lingering over their linked hands. A perfect fit, as they always had been. Arms tightened briefly around Kamui's waist, hugging him close with a warm squeeze.

His mind strayed from lingering further, no matter how mild and gentle the touch would be at the surface...he knew himself well...knew his heart enough to know how weak it would be. He knew how weak he had been with Seishirou, how those memories at 16 years old would only come to haunt him through countless sleepless nights.

I won't make the same mistakes… He swore to himself.

It was all too easy to give in. How easily those thoughts and very emotions could shift into something much deeper stronger…

It's already out of my hands. The least I can do is keep my actions in check.

"Your pain is your own...you don't need to do or say anything you don't want to." He continued. Relief flooded through his features as he felt a crushing squeeze over his hand. Subaru only hummed, taking in that pain a 1000 times over, if need be. If it helped to soothe the other's heart. "I'll stay at your side for as long as you need."

"..." Kamui's lips only parted. Tears were streaming. He bent forward once more, his body collapsing over the lost love within his lap. Currents of tears flooded from pained blue eyes. The younger boy buried his face further away from the older man. He buried his face within the black stained uniform over the man he loved so dearly…

Subaru's eyes shot up in surprise as he felt their hands still so tightly interlocked.

I am never letting you go…

No matter how Kamui would feel, there wasn't a chance he could stay away for long. He had only woken up from his mind-numbing pain. Subaru had just found his reason. A final reason to live beyond mere existence. The older man could only fall into the abyss of his consciousness so many times. There were only so many ascents and descents from his inner despair his heart would handle.

"Kamui…" Subaru pressed close to the hunched over form. He rested his head against the slender boy's back, fluttering his eyelids down. He hushed soft and gentle words against the boy's neck, despite knowing it was drowned out from the boy crying his heart out.

Kamui was entirely bawling. The older male felt the boy's trembling form moving frantically. The motion reverberated as he pressed a cheek to Kamui's upper back.

Constant sobs overflowed. The dam had long since shattered. Tears crashed upon every millimeter of the young male's face. Cries draining from those loose tear-ducts. The cold salty fluids mixed within his nasal passage. His nose began running, streaming just as wildly as his eyes. There was nothing graceful or controlled as his hoarse voice cried for his lost love, over and over again. Eyes were entirely sore, red, puffy, and as blood rushed to his face. Yet, Subaru couldn't look away, couldn't stop the way his heart only pounded harder seeing the boy he cared for in such a state. The desire to protect the boy beside him was maddening. An onslaught of emotion attacked with no sense of mercy throughout Kamui's form. He shuddered.

The boy started taking deep breaths to calm the painful blades piercing deeply in and out of his overly sensitive heart.

Subaru hadn't relented in the least, only continuing to nuzzle against the heartbroken soul in his arms.

Kamui parted his bitten lips only let out a silent scream. The boy's voice strained beyond recovery for some time.

The older male kept an arm tightly around Kamui's middle. His hand laced within Kamui's own stayed in place, as the man gave reassuring squeezes. He breathed in relief to feel Kamui return the gesture albeit with a weaker hold than before.

Another arm unraveled from around the boy and retracted slightly. The younger boy felt the warmth from before quickly returning as delicate, graceful hands traced soothing patterns In his back.

"Su..ba…" he broke out between violent sobs. "ru.."

"Yes, Kamui…" He returned softly, pressing his body to press to lie over the smaller body. The older male berated himself, unable to resist kissing the back of the boy's neck. Butterfly kisses pressed over the pale skin.

He tried and failed to forget the very reaction, the boy gave in subconsciously to the fluttering touch.

"I...I'm sorry…" Kamui hushed out the broken up apology.

Dual toned eyes blinked wildly, while eyebrows lifted at the admission. "You have nothing to be sorry for," Subaru assured. And there was nothing in this world that could stop the older male from pulling Kamui up and turning him around, into his embrace.

"If anything…" The younger boy let out a squeak at the sudden movement and found himself chest to chest against the older male. The loose coat around his shoulder fell off at the action.

"We all should be thanking you for what you've done for the earth."

Strong arms wrapped tightly around Kamui guiding his head to seek refuge against a throbbing chest. He wrapped those arms protectively over the smaller body. "Thank you, for saving me. Kamui…" He professed, words caressing right into Kamui's ear.

Subaru felt his heart flutter at the faint trace of smile spreading on the boy's lips. His glistening eyes held the smallest bit of s bittersweet emotion... "It's because of me, you were injured like that…"

"Kamui...that was my choice. At that time, I desired nothing more than to protect you at all costs…" A shiver of emotions flooded from the violet-blue eyes, looking to the older male with uncertainty. "I still want that...Kamui, " Subaru breathed, voice soothing through his continued confession.

Subaru's lips curled gently, taking in the awe and uncertainty within those glistening eyes. Gentle lips met and pressed a kiss gingerly upon the crown of the younger boy's head. He guided Kamui closer to himself once more, his chin resting atop the boy's head. The younger male gave in to comfort. He buried his face further into the older male's chest. Long slender fingers grasped for the coat that had fallen loosely over Kamui's shoulders. The older male placed it more firmly over the boy's shoulders before wrapping the loose coat around the boy like a cocoon. Kamui breathed a soft sigh, tiredly leaning closer to the source of warmth. Subaru kept the boy hidden, entirely sheltered within his arms.

"Kamui…" he hummed fingers caressing and carding through the soft locks of raven hair.

"Subaru...I…" he hadn't finished, only grasping his hands tightly against the black fabric on the other's chest. His body subconsciously huddled deeper into his needed sanctuary. Hot painful tears gushed out wildly, drenching the fabric more and more. The older male-only continued to hold the boy tighter and closer against him, allowing every tear that would fall.

"I…I…" Kamui's watering eyes glanced up. His lips quivered. The boy's violet eyes were glistening, still fragile with the emotion rushing out of them.

"Shhh…" Subaru gently hushed, warm air blowing over the unruly locks of Kamui's hair. His hands proceeded to rub abstract circles and patterns upon the boy's back feather-light. Feeling Kamui lean in he added pressure, their bodies flushing more firmly together.

"But he's...he is really…" Kamui's breathing hastened, heart, screaming wildly against its cage. And eyes looked away for only a moment to see a glimpse of the bloodied and empty form lying beside him. His violet-blue eyes shook with horror. A hand clasped swiftly over the boy's eyes.

Subaru felt his chest constrict, aching painfully tight feeling the slender body shaking now so violently. Tears pouring out with no sign of ending.

Loving hands brushed against the flushed, dampened face. The touch lingered over Kamui's cheeks. The older male turned the boy's gaze away from the traumatizing reality inches away from them. "Just breathe right now...alright… Kamui" Emerald and gold eyes lowered, a cloud of worry and anguish fell over him.

The hand shielding the boy's vision retracted and shifted. Nimble fingers rested under the boy's chin. His head was turned up, while dual-toned eyes gently held and locked with the cloudy violet eyes. "Just breathe…"

---

Subaru held true to his promise. Staying right beside the world's savior, watching over his drained sleeping form. Exhaustion was only natural after everything that happened. Truthfully, it was relieving to see the boy finally resting, even if it involved hearing him call out that name over and over again, in his sleep.

Kamui calmed enough for the older male to reluctantly loosen his hold. Doing so resulted in violet orbs fluttering open before widening wildly. Memories resurfaced quickly for the younger male as those same eyes were in a feverish panic, looking back towards his lost love. Green-golden eyes glaze over him painfully, watching the one he cared for so deeply shuddering. A cold feeling surfaced in the older male. The boy slipped from the loosened hold, and turned back, lingering by the body of his lost beloved.

The former dragon of heaven, smiled bitterly, forsaking his unresolved conflict in favor of holding to and comforting his cherished one.

Subaru laced his hands and arms snuggly, hugging the boy tight to him from behind. Dual toned eyes wavered, eyes wincing shut as he saw his beloved in disarray.

Kamui had been cradling his twin stars within his arms, before decidedly lowering the larger body to rest over his lap. Soft calls of his love's name murmured from dry, trembling lips. His hand graced and brushed over the pale face of the one he loved so dearly. The arms around Kamui never let go.

Neither had left the resting place. Until a new day started, the sun rose, hours passed, and the remaining Dragons of Heaven came to reunite with their leader. Several higher-ups from, CLAMP academy board had arrived shortly after. The chairman himself came to the scene, bringing along a team, consisting of some of the best medical units in all of Japan.

The world's savior stubbornly refused to let go or leave behind what he had left of Fuuma. Subaru gently brushed his fingers through messy locks of hair, easing him to listen to the pleas.

The gentle blond, blue-eyed chairman assured him Fuuma would be taken care of, as his body was lifted from the ground.

Fuuma was to be laid properly to rest. His life and physical sacrifice for the world's future, being honored. At least, Kamui would not be alone in looking beyond the Dragon of Earth's Kamui and seeing the real Fuuma.

At the very promise he would be honored and laid to rest beneath the same tree as his sister, Kamui reluctantly loosened his hold. The savior had stubbornly refused to let Fuuma's form leave his line of sight until he had seen the promise made for himself. He walked in stride with the medical responders, following diligently as the body of his loved one was hauled within the back of the ambulance.

Kamui rushed in to follow, yet was halted. Subaru's strong arms wrapped around his waist. The boy looked up to meet golden and emerald eyes, shining with concern. His eyes burned with frustration furrowed on his face. When given the ok, he was released and rushed in to sit inside the back of the van never taking his eyes off Fuuma's corpse. Corpse… the reality of thinking that word stung bitterly.

Subaru nodded to the concerned faces of his fellow Dragon's of Heaven, mentioning something about going along with their leader. Some of them looked quite bemused seeing as the reserved older man took to Kamui so easily.

A protective arm hung tightly around the boy's shoulder as they sat in the back of the emergency van. The smaller male's fingers curled over the hands of his protector. Heterochromatic eyes blinked wildly, before a tender emotion took over, a soft curve spread over his lips. He brought Kamui closer to his side, allowing the younger boy to squeeze his hand tightly. The silent drive back to the CLAMP academy seemed endless.

As promised, Fuuma's body had at last been laid to rest. The bright sun shining upon the grassy field felt cruelly ironic despite everything. Kamui almost immediately fell to his knees when the burial had commenced. His fellow Dragons of Heaven, his dearest friends were reluctant to decide what he should or shouldn't see, yet the boy had been obstinate. While Kamui was allowed to do what he needed to recover, that hadn't meant they had left him alone at any time during the process. The spiritualist having been the most protective of the group.

Memories flashed back to that same excruciating day when he had lost Kotori, and Fuuma awakened for the first time. He found himself somewhat lighter seeing the sincerity and care within his friend's eyes. They all were offering to pay their respects to the Monou siblings, and hugging Kamui tight, before letting him go, giving him the space to breathe. Well, with Subaru being an exception as Kamui held tightly to the older male's hand, assuring his protector, his pillar of stability remained close.

CLAMP's chairman announced that all of the Dragons of Heaven would be given free housing at the academy for as long as they wished, alongside the needed medical and mental health services from their traumas.

Housing closely together seemed to be the best option for the group. Reasonably, Kamui's friends had been hesitant to allow their former leader to be too far away from themselves, and isolated. Debates over who would live with the younger boy surfaced, others discussing schedules to ensure Kamui always had a friend available when needed.

Nightfall had long since approached. Subaru suppressed a smile, feeling a tired head of raven hair lean against his arm. Kamui's soft pale lips stretched in a wide yawn resembling that of a cat. The urge to ruffle the boy's hair was barely fought off. Finger's lingered over soft raven locks, before combing through them.

The reserved male broke his silence for the first time since the discussion began. His softened eyes leaned down towards the boy, looking only at him as he spoke out for the first time in hours, (not counting the occasional soothing words of comfort he whispered into Kamui's ear...words only for him to hear).

"Kamui is welcome to come back with me…" He assured, emphasizing it as an option. He kept from voicing too much, shielding his selfish desire to protect. The boy who he cared for and promised to keep closer than ever.

Arashi's lips curved down, eyes clouded with worry, a part of her mind drifting to think what Sorata would have advised in this situation. It's not as though she could offer more protection or a better solution. The swordswoman was planning on staying in Kouya for some time to visit her precious person who gave his life for her.

Aoki and Karen shared a concerned glance at one another before returning to Kamui, the fire elemental biting in on her lip a bit more intuitive towards the boy's connection. "It's up to you Kamui, and you can always come back and stay here either way…"

Yuzuriha bit down on her lip. "Are you sure that'll be alright, with you Kamui?- I mean he's…" The youngest girl closed a hand over her mouth, stopping herself from saying anything more. Shame fell over her eyes, looked apologetically towards the two reserved males.

Their subject of concern remained entirely patient. Subaru saw beyond their words. They feared for Kamui's safety in the hands of the current Sakurazukomori (even if Kamui's wish had restored the tree, no longer craving the blood from innocents).

Subaru exhaled softly through his nose, knowing no matter how much, he desired to help Kamui, his intentions would be questioned. Even if he did come back, in the end, he had deserted the Dragon's of Heaven. All the while, falling into his own mental hell similar to the one he worked so hard to save their leader from.

The reserved older male opened his lips to speak but stopped as he felt a hand clutching at the taller male's sleeve.

Kamui violet-blue orbs softened, still surrounded by puffy red rings, and sob-ridden cheeks. His gaze turned affectionately towards the former Dragons of Heaven, his dearest friends. "I'll be alright, " he assured, clutching at his gentle savior's shirt. "I want to be with him...Subaru was the one who protected me after all…"

"Kamui…" He called longingly, a hand absently brushing against the side of the boy's cheek. He felt Kamui lean into the touch naturally. His touch.

An audible, "Oh." Had been spoken by one of their friends in a sense of realization. Likely, Yuzuriha, face flushing as she turned towards the pair. Karen hushed the girl gently, although gave an amused smile towards the two quiet males, nestled together.

Kamui had yet to look anywhere but his protector, smiling softly as the hand on the onmyouji's arm slid down to hold his hand, once again, tenderly. The young boy remained content... While Subaru did take notice of the responses. Gold and emerald orbs cast away from the knowing glances of their friends. There was still a bit of worry there...but it seemed to have eased a bit.

"I understand your concerns…" He started, coughing into his hand to ease the red flooding his cheeks. "I will take care of Kamui, protecting him with my life if needed...and-" Subaru's face burned crimson at the proclamation-stunning quite a few of their friends- before turning his expression away. He held his beloved's gaze, "You are free to go whenever and wherever you wish…"

Kamui beamed brilliantly, outshining the darkness of the very night. Subaru knew his heart fully surrendered to the sight.

"I know, but I want to stay with you." Kamui's eyes gazed up fondly. His violet eyes were holding a gleam of innocence and trust. Guilt seeped in through the older man's core. That same guilt for having anything beyond platonic feelings for the younger male, even if it hadn't been in his control. Clearing, his throat, Subaru rose to his feet, avoiding the curious and knowing glances.

Kamui shifted up to his knees, preparing to stand up on his own before taking an extended hand before him. He grasped it tightly and felt a hand clasp over the side of his waist as his body started to wobble. "S-sorry…" Kamui heated up with his mistake.

"Oh, Kamui! Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"You're still recovering-..."

"You should get some rest."

"Are you sure you don't need anything before you go?"

And similar words of concern came from their friends, dancing around the root of the issue, hoping to allow the young savior some form of relief. "I'll be alright…" Kamui promised. Despite the words, Kamui's body hadn't eased from it's shaking, his legs feeling numb and knees buckling.

"Kamui?" His dear protector lowered his eyebrows, lips curving south. Dual-toned eyes cast with worry. The onmyouji nodded to himself in a decision, as he leaned down to wrap an arm under the boy's trembling knees. The hand at the boy's waist moved up to wrap around his upper back, lifting the slender boy easily.

Kamui let out a soft yelp in surprise, feeling his feet rise from the ground, his body held in a protective hold. wrapped his arms snuggly around the older man's neck instinctively. Subaru's gentle call of his name and soothing smile, put him at eyes shifted nervously, before whispering a soft 'Thank you.'

Subaru could feel the curious gazes directed at them.

"Ah-well...we'll be going now, and return back...here by the morning," Subaru promised with sincerity. He was flustering at his own words. Embarrassment seeped in. Realization struck at the intimate looking hold. Yet, he really couldn't bring himself to release the boy from his hold. Nor could he seize from cradling his friend? secret love? Or beloved's figure securely, in his arms. The hold was clearly that of a princess carry or perhaps a prince-carry in Kamui's case.

Subaru walked off carefully with the boy, assuring his secure hold on the boy before moving faster. The two had been airborne soon enough leaping, from rooftop to rooftop until arriving home. They stayed in silence, Kamui's mind surely recalling his previous traumas. Every now and then Subaru felt a hand clutching at his shirt. He breathed out slowly, heart aching for the young boy, and moving as swiftly as was safe to return to his home.

---

Subaru held Kamui tightly, beaming at the way the boy relaxed naturally in his arms. Eyes were soon fluttering closed. He had been dozing off several times during their outing. Stepping over the threshold they arrived at the home. Their home.

The darkened household was soon lit up with the flick of a switch. Subaru felt silent laughter brushing against his lips, seeing the young boy hurriedly shield his eyes within the confines of his neck.

The household was elegant and private as the Sumeragi head could desire. Although, the traces of someone truly living inside were bare. Essential pieces of modern furniture decorated the nearly empty space it inhabited. Subaru carried the boy through what was assumed to be the dining room and stopped at a modern-looking wooden tablet. He, at last, lowered Kamui to sit on one of the chairs.

"I'll get you something …" Subaru pointed and gestured to the kitchen. He gently told the other, trying not to melt as he felt a hand gripping the sleeve of his shirt. Reluctantly, the hold on him eased, Kamui's cheeks flustering light pink, as he gazed towards the floor below.

The onmyouji laughed tenderly, heart fluttering. Subaru questioned how long he could keep his own emotions hidden at this rate. He leaned down to cup the side of the boy's face, gesturing with the other towards the kitchen right beside them.

"I'll be right back," he promised, brushing his hand against the soft skin, before pulling away. He felt violet-blue eyes following his movements nearly everywhere until he returned. The sound of rushing water emitted. Subaru returned with a full glass of purified water.

The second trip back had been longer. Kamui still hadn't kept his eyes off his protector the entire 3 minutes the male took to gather some things, a clinking sound came out from the cupboard. Subaru retrieved a few other items, Kamii couldn't quite make out.

Subaru gathered utensils, a bowl, and a colorful can with cursive lettering on it. He poured out the soup into a bowl. Clicking was heard after the bowl had been placed in the microwave. Subaru seemed to gather up a few more snacks but disappeared from his vision, the wall between the kitchen and dining room obscuring Kamui's sight.

As promised, Subaru came back immediately after it finished cooking. He had given the boy a steaming bowl of soup and placed it carefully on the placemat underneath. "Careful." Subaru waved towards the hot fumes emitting from the bowl.

He had brought out a mildly flavored vegetable soup, and some saltine crackers. The man was sure the boy couldn't stomach a lot, if anything, so settled on what was mild. Subaru returned once more to the kitchen to retrieve a spoon for the boy and a few pieces of fruit.

"I'm...sorry...I just-" Kamui hadn't been able to stomach anything. He frowned, bowing his head. Violet eyes shivered as though about to cry. Subaru hugged the boy fiercely. It was an entirely understandable reaction, given everything in the past few days. Still, he couldn't bring himself to not desire to soothe and ease the pain as much as possible.

"It's perfectly alright Kamui. I mean couldn't eat for days after-" He stopped himself, unwilling to recall any more of that time. Kamui's concerned gazes only made him feel more fragile. The tall male cleared his throat and shook his head. "Nevermind...do you think you could handle having something to drink?"

"Y-yeah…" Kamui nodded, noticing the scratchy feeling in his throat.

The boy's protector had let out a breath, unaware he was holding out in relief. Kamui took the glass of cool water with a nod. "Thanks, Subaru…" His voice turned a bit meek.

Heterochromatic eyes shimmered at the soft words of gratitude, and his beloved's soft demeanor. Kamui pressed his lips to the cool glass. The older male bit his lip, avoiding the confused glance from his beloved.

The boy blinked his eyes and settled to leave whatever it was alone. He had thankfully, been able to drink a healthy amount of water.

The boy was drained, mouth still dry, and there was a hoarseness in his voice. Subaru placed a hand down as the boy attempted to get up. Kamui nodded.

"Thank you." The boy's voice was still hoarse. The older male frowned at that before turning on his heel, empty glass in hand.

Subaru walked back into the kitchen and refilled the glass. He swiftly returned to his loved one's side and placed the glass on the table in front of the dehydrated boy.

Kamui hummed another word thanks while pressing his lips to the rim of the cup and tilting it back.

"Ka..mui?" There was again a familiar soft tug at his sleeve. Subaru blinked.

"Don't you need something to eat something?" Kamui, violet eyes swirling with concern.

Subaru felt his heart melt at the sincerity in the soft-spoken question. He shook his head. "I'll be just fine, just let me take care of you..."

The young male made a sound akin to a huff. Eyebrows furrowed while lips pressed together in a pout, and was he actually glaring at him?

"Alright…" Subaru plopped down on one of the chairs. He grasped for the fruit and took an exaggerated bite of the apple. His hand made a waving gesture towards Kamui. "So...now are you happy?" He asked, tone cautiously light and soft. The light glowing in his eyes and soft smile aimed to assure he wasn't mad in the least.

Kamui had not even dignified that with a response, but his pout did turn to a smile. His lips curled up, letting a very short and quiet laugh escape. The boy rolled his eyes with a bit of fondness. "...a bit…" he murmured under his breath.

Cute..The older man has to suppress a flush, chest melting at every expression the boy would make. Gathering himself, Subaru met that notion with a tender gaze in the boy's direction.

A softer laugh escaped soft pink lips.

The gentle airy movement left the older male weak. Cheeks were aching from smiling so often in the boy's presence. Tender eyes followed the movement of the other's lips as he pressed them to glass, and tilted it back to drink. Those same glistening orbs lingered, watching the way Kamui leaned back into the seat. His shoulders lowered, relaxing considerably. Soft violet eyes were still overcome with a mix of emotions glossing over them.

The older male's pupils dilated considerably. Dual-toned eyes locked in on the stray strands of raven-black hair falling in front of the younger male's face. Kamui's admirer felt a fluttering feeling seeing the small nose twitching as a long strand of hair fell over it. He had gingerly shaken his head to clear the obstruction. Subaru's hand lingered in the air between them, longing to brush the remaining strand of hair away.

So cute...

"Subaru?" The boy called, leaning forward till their faces were millimeters apart. "Are you alright?"

Tentative, shaking hands reached for Subaru. Said male, had naturally taken the boy's hand and nodded. He released a near-silent, and lengthy breath to compose himself.

"I-I'm alright…"

Shit. He was in way too deep now.

Amicable silence followed as the man finished eating a few pieces of fruit. Subaru refilled Kamui's glass once more.

When finished, Subaru spoke out and glanced towards a closed door in the back. "I might go take a shower...would you?"

Kamui winced at the words, clutching at the reddened uniform. "I...not yet." Eyes turned down, with quivering lips; the boy bit roughly down on them.

Oh...Subaru mentally berated himself. He saw the blood-stained shirt and sighed. Of course, he would show reluctance. One of the few remains left from the man he loved so dearly.

A sense of deja vu fell over them. Memories surfaced of the painful battle upon the Rainbow Bridge.

Kamui had saved the older man against his will.

His hands grasped both arms of the chair where Subaru sat.

"You're still wearing the same clothes."

The older male clutched a bloodied coat. "I prefer to keep them on."

The boy leaned over, meeting the older male at eye level.

"Because They're stained with his blood?"

A shiver rushed through the onmyouji. Drifting eyes gaze back, focused on the present moment as he felt a concerned gaze boring into him.

"Sorry...I-" he paused to rephrase. "Will you be alright while I shower?" Even with wounds healed the scent of battle and stains on Kamui's shirt matched his own.

"I'll be fine…"

Subaru felt the need to protest. But the boy continued, urging the older male. "I'll be irritated with you if you don't, Subaru. "

An eyebrow arched up, only to meet an unfaltering stare. The older male surrendered. A bittersweet chuckle escaping at Kamui's "threat".

"Alright, I'll be quick."

"You don't have to…"

But the boy knew it had already been decided.

"You can always come in or call for me if anything happens alright?"

Soft fingers lingered over the boy's cheeks. He nodded, taking a seat on the soft cushion sofa.

Subaru seemed satisfied watching the tenseness drain as shoulders relaxed and fell. "You're free to rest In the bedroom if you'd like...or go anywhere. It is your home. "

Kamui smiled a bit shyly before he shook his head. "I'm fine here…" he gestured to the back of the sofa. He wasn't about to mention his apprehension being farther away from the only one keeping him grounded.

"Alright...I will be out soon, " Subaru promised, entirely sincere as he walked towards the bathroom door and disappeared behind it. Well, not before gazing longingly towards his new housemate...

Kamui leaned his head back against the edge of the couch. The boy closed his eyes, choosing to focus on the sound of the rushing water when his mind wandered back to the gruesome battle last night.

His heart hadn't stopped aching for Fuuma...but his eyes were painfully dry, giving him this moment of reprieve before an inevitable storm of emotions would be brewing again. Thinking back to the playful atmosphere later on at the dining table.

Subaru had continued to take exaggerated bites of food, before glancing back to his housemate. He'd repeatedly assure Kamui, in fact, eating and taking care of himself.

I had never seen that side of him before… Kamui pondered, playing with his hands in his lap. As promised the sound of running water halted. Soon after came the sound of clothes shuffling. It couldn't have been more than 5 minutes when the doorknob turned.

Kamui jerked his neck back on impulse. Violet-blue eyes relaxed at the sight of his protector.

The male hurriedly dried his hair off with the towel around his neck, while walking down the short hallway leading to the living room.

"Is everything still alright?" Subaru returned to the boy's side dressed in casual dark green loungewear.

"Mhmm…" Kamui looked up tiredly. His dry reddened eyes were slowly blinking... "I'd-"

Subaru nodded, gently sliding a hand to brush over the boy's cheek.

"I think I'd like to sleep now…" Kamui had averted looking the man in the eyes as he spoke. His hands moved around nervously in his lap.

"Of course."

The two drained males walked up the stairs towards another closed door. The simplistic room was revealed behind it with calming blue walls and a snow-white comforter over the large bed.

Subaru allowed the younger male to slip into bed first, giving him whatever time was needed for him to snuggle under the blankets and find his preferred side and sleep position. Kamui shifted and turned before resting on his side. He had slid all the way over to the opposite side of the bed where he entered. Subaru looked over him fondly.

Apparently, he had been lingering far too long.

"You're not...going to another room...right?" Kamui's voice was barely a whisper and turned back with anxious eyes.

"No, no... of course, not…" Subaru knelt down on the bed and shifted to sit before the boy. A hand tenderly clasped onto Kamui's shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere," he assured.

Something sparked within the boy, as those glimmering eyes came closer. Kamui rose up to his knees. Kneeling and meeting at face level the boy turned away a bit shyly, for nodding to himself.

"Kam-?"

Subaru gasped as the sudden warmth enveloped him. Slender arms looped around the older his shoulders. He melted into the tender hug, returning it gently. A face buried itself into his shoulder, and he could feel the boy's dampened eyes staining his shirt once more.

"Thank you," Kamui expressed breathily against the bit of exposed skin between the older male's neck and shoulder. "Subaru...:"

The older male flustered, face reddening wildly. He had suppressed the shiver at the motion, and tightened his hold, taking a steady breath to calm his racing heart.

Unfortunately, it ended as quickly as it began. Kamui had soon pulled away. Violet-blue eyes were averting that of his flushed protector. He swiftly went back and turned to lay back on his side. Kamui grasped the edge of the comforter and pulled it up over his head.

Subaru visibly brightened at the rather shy retreat. He quietly moved closer to the boy, wrapping his arms lightly. Kamui gasped at the slow pull, feeling his back overcome with a comforting warmth.

"Su-Subaru?"

"Is this alright?" Arms loosened their hold, allowing the boy an out if desired. Subaru bit inside his cheek. Acting on impulse like that...honestly what was wrong with him?

"Mm-hmm…" He nodded, turning around in the hold to face the older man. Kamui's head rested against a warm chest. Fingers played with the fabric of Subaru's shirt. Kamui's slender arm looped over the waist of his source of warmth, keeping him in place.

"Subaru?" His violet eyes glanced up to meet a tender gaze before shifting anxiously.

"Yes?" A pang resonated in the other, seeing the young boy's lips curl down.

"Yo-you'll still be here when I wake up?" Kamui flushed, voice hardly audible as he leaned back down to bury his face into a warm chest. "You can wake me up whenever you do...I just don't want to be…"

Alone...

"Kamui, I'll be here…" Subaru promised, embracing the boy as their bodies flushed together, chest to chest. He pressed a soothing kiss upon the top of the boy's head. "I'll keep holding you until you're ready to wake up."

"Subaru…" Dual-toned eyes glanced down to see lips slightly parted letting out puffs of air. Eyelids shielded the emotional violet eyes beneath. The hand tangling in his shirt clutched at him a bit tighter. Subaru's gaze lingered over the sleeping form, hugging him tightly.

"Goodnight, Kamui."

End

---

This was a rollercoaster to write but felt worth it. I'm building up the Subaru/Kamui somewhat lowly, although I can't help to the romantic tension between them.

The X Universe for this story is pretty mixed. Alternating from my super gay fanon, anime canon, and manga canon scenes (mostly anime for this chapter). I debated in my head whether to write in Subaru as having to receive Seishirou's eye (vs the anime where he still is sightless in one). But being his final wish it seems crucial to add-even if it doesn't line up with the anime timeline scenes- with Subaru lost in his consciousness till the end battle. I struggled to decide which version's character deaths to apply so I went mostly by manga. But I figured, sadly enough, no matter the version of X .Sorata's character is very much shown through his dedication to die protecting the woman he loves so much. So we have 6 remaining dragons of heaven...or 5 considering Subaru is a bit of a wild card.

The title comes from the flower symbolism of ambrosia meaning "your love is reciprocated". This chapter is probably gonna be the saddest, and get lighter from there. I originally planned a one-shot but here we are.

There is a rainbow after the rain and that's how this story goes. But holy hell am I an emotional masochist for writing this. Leave favorites and reviews to help make up for my lack of a social life.