AN: So this excerpt is really long but I love Dooku in this book. Also Nim won't be chosen.
Excerpt Master & Apprentice by Claudia Grey
"You're frightened," said Master Dooku.
Qui-Gon Jinn, twelve years old, knelt in front of his new Master. Only yesterday, Dooku had chosen him as a Padawan.
…
"Well?" Dooku raised one eyebrow. He seemed to stand three meters tall, looming over Qui-Gon like an obsidian wall. "Have you no response to my observation?"
…
Qui-Gon admitted, "I am, Master."
"Why should you fear me?" Dooku said in his deepest, most intimidating voice as though answering his own question.
Think, Qui-Gon told himself. His fear was so obvious, so all-encompassing, that he could hardly understand where it came from. But he needed to find the truth within the fear.
Finally, he said, "I'm afraid of not becoming a Jedi, but that doesn't make me afraid of you, Master. I'm afraid of failing. Of not being worthy."
"Of yourself," Dooku said. "Of a future other than the one you want."
"Yes." Qui-Gon's fear deepened. Surely Master Dooku would realize he'd made a mistake, choosing someone so cowardly as a Padawan.
But then Dooku said, "Very wise." When Qui-Gon looked up in surprise, his Master smiled—a distant smile, but a genuine one. "Most young apprentices would deny their fear. If they admitted it, they would almost certainly lack the self-knowledge you have shown."
I got it right? Qui-Gon's amazement must've shown on his face, because Dooku shook his head in tolerant amusement.
"You proved yourself honest today," Dooku said, gesturing for Qui-Gon to rise to his feet. "You demonstrated insight. And you convinced me of your intelligence."
"Intelligence?" Qui-Gon straightened. Standing up only helped so much with his sense of intimidation; his head was at Dooku's elbow level.
"Yes, my Padawan." Dooku's amusement had a feline quality to it —sly and self-contained. "Anyone who begins to journey farther along the path of the Force should be afraid. The dangers are many. The struggle is eternal."
Qui-Gon wasn't entirely sure what Master Dooku meant by "the struggle," but he assumed it was something about always doing his best. That was the sort of thing the creche masters always talked about.
Before he could ask, Dooku gestured for Qui-Gon to follow. "Come. There are many sections of our Temple that younglings never visit. Understanding our Temple more completely will help you better understand the Jedi Order."
The promise of finally seeing the whole Temple pushed every question out of Qui-Gon's brain. He grinned at Dooku for the first time. "Yes, Master."
Chapter 4 - Compassion
Qui-Gon decided to visit his Master without Xanatos, one because Dooku didn't like Xanatos much, and two, because Xanatos could be a bit abrasive.
Feemor, however, was a Seeker and though he was rarely at the Temple, he got along with Dooku just fine.
When Dooku admitted them into the room, Qui-Gon hadn't expected to see the Padawan-Master pair curled up on the couch together.
They were both reading and they looked incredibly peaceful.
Obi-Wan was a bright star who shone in the Force with beautiful clarity.
But when the child looked up with his big blue-grey eyes sighting them, a look of fear skidded across his face and then— nothing. His expression completely closed down and the child appeared to all but disappear into the Force.
Mace had not been exaggerating about the Padawan's shielding abilities.
"Qui-Gon, Feemor," Dooku welcomed. "Come, have a seat. Obi-Wan, this is my previous Padawan, Master Qui-Gon Jinn, and his previous Padawan, Knight Feemor. My friends, this is my latest Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi."
"He's here for a week and you've already put him to work?" Qui-Gon asked, coming to sit on the sofa across from them. Dooku levitated two more cups from the kitchenette to the low table between them.
"I technically haven't assigned him anything yet," Dooku said mildly.
"I like reading," Obi-Wan offered.
Feemor gave the boy a smile, "Well, you are in the right place for learning."
"And you have the right Master for reading," Qui-Gon said, accepting the tea Feemor poured and handed to him.
The child just stared at Qui-Gon, quiet, expression guarded. He obviously wasn't comfortable in his new home yet. However, given the violence this child had been exposed to, it was no wonder he didn't trust them.
Though at least he seemed at ease with Dooku. A Master was one of the most important relations any Jedi could have.
Hopefully, Obi-Wan had a better time of it than Qui-Gon had.
"What have you been reading?" Feemor asked.
Obi-Wan looked to Dooku who nodded his consent.
Yeah, these two were going to get along just fine.
"I've been studying the Jedi-Sith-Mandalorian wars. I learned about them from my clan, of course, but the accounts aren't the same."
"Oh?" Feemor asked encouragingly.
"The Mandalorians never gave real motives for why the Sith were interested in them. I hadn't realized the Jedi only got involved after the Sith had persuaded a few of the clans to align with them," Obi-Wan said, extremely well-spoken.
Strange for someone so shy, or maybe not, he spoke Basic as someone who learned purely from texts and old holo-dramas.
"You sound as if you disapprove, Padawan," Dooku remarked.
Obi-Wan looked up at the man beside him, "The Sith were never going to help the clans, they were selfish. The Mandalorians were fools to make enemies of the Jedi and welcome the Sith in. I'm starting to understand why my people don't like Force sensitives."
"So you fault the Jedi?" Qui-Gon asked, he most certainly faulted the Jedi himself in those wars where nothing had gone well for any of them.
Again, Obi-Wan looked up to Dooku for permission to speak, which Dooku of course gave.
"I blame them all," Obi-Wan said, turning back to Qui-Gon, his shields dropping a bit. "The Mandalorians nor the Jedi bothered to learn each others' cultures, while the Sith understood them both. The Sith exploited that and would have won if they had been more united among themselves."
"What was the biggest difference you noticed?" Qui-Gon asked. He hadn't studied those wars in-depth, seeing as there were more recent wars that had more relevance to current politics.
"Stealing younglings or foundlings," Obi-Wan said. "Adoption is considered sacred to Mandalorians, that came out of a culture where buir— I mean parents, often didn't come home. For more radical groups, children were stolen to be sourced as soldiers, but that was really rare. Same with the Jedi, who value their Order —their family— as much as the clans do. The Jedi often adopted children from families who couldn't raise them or didn't want to. The propaganda on both sides seems to feed the idea that each side was creating child soldiers and purposely destroying families. That seems to be equally abhorrent to both."
"And you don't think we raise our younglings to be Knights?" Qui-Gon pushed.
"No, I don't," Obi-Wan said with unexpected finality. "I think you have more freedoms than my brother or I had in our clan. The Jedi value more than just war and weapons." His eyes went back to his holo-book. "But I'm not sure if that was quite as true back then."
"Wise words, Padawan Kenobi," Dooku praised. "You're instinct to doubt the past is well merited. Four to two thousand years ago, the Jedi were expanding the Republic, in such a way that it could have easily been seen as acts of imperialism."
Obi-Wan ducked his head, cheeks tinging with colour, unused to praise.
"How are you liking the Temple so far, Obi-Wan?" Feemor asked gently.
Feemor probably had the softest touch of anyone in their lineage, and Qui-Gon couldn't even take credit for it. Feemor would have graduated to Knighthood under Master Plo Koon, but Qui-Gon had stepped in when Plo had found it too difficult to give Feemor the attention he deserved with Plo's Council responsibilities.
However, while Feemor still deferred to Qui-Gon —and Qui-Gon was honoured to have been able to help Feemor and work with him on missions— Feemor's goodness and skills, were a credit to Feemor's own strengths and Master Plo's teachings, not Qui-Gon's questionable ability to teach another person.
Xanatos's numerous struggles had taught Qui-Gon that much.
That had been some years ago, and now it was Plo Koon who had taken over Padawan Shaak Ti's apprenticeship when her original Master died.
Obi-Wan nodded, "I like the Temple very much."
"Do you know what classes you will be starting?" Feemor asked.
"I took a test…" Obi-Wan said with a questioning lilt he directed at Dooku who met his Padawan's gaze directly.
"You tested well. All classes are rolling admissions, so you will not be truly behind. We will be stationed at the Temple for the year or perhaps more, so I will be able to catch you up to speed on anything you might struggle with."
Obi-Wan bowed his head, "Thank you, Master."
Dooku placed a hand on top of the child's head, "Be at ease, Obi-Wan, there are no punishments for falling behind and we will not assign you anything you are incapable of achieving."
Obi-Wan's shoulders drooped, the tension pooling out of him.
It was all Qui-Gon could do not to let his jaw drop.
Dooku was a hard man, who did love fiercely, but he had a particular way of showing it.
The open encouragement and compassion he was showing Obi-Wan now was both touching and likely necessary.
In retrospect, Qui-Gon had more than survived his apprenticeship, and so had Rael. Dooku had seen them through some remarkably terrible missions and circumstances, but in many ways, they had been sheltered. They had, after all, had friends and other Masters to go to for support outside of their Master's control and were able to access supplemental learning.
Qui-Gon had graduated early, with the understanding he would go off on his own to study in the Jedha Temple for a number of years.
Dooku, to his credit, had not even attempted to dissuade him, and instead, helped him achieve an earlier Knighthood than his own skills perhaps merited.
Right now, the only person Obi-Wan trusted was Dooku, and in answer, Dooku was being most un-Dooku-like in his affections.
More than that, it seemed to be working, Obi-Wan's shields dropped further so that more of his light shone through. Almost as much as he had done before Qui-Gon and Feemor had encroached on their evening.
Qui-Gon wondered if this would end up being positive reinforcement for Dooku himself. His Master was a persistent pessimist, always seeing the worst in everything and everyone around him.
No wonder Yoda had conceded Obi-Wan's admittance to the Order so swiftly if this was the behaviour he had glimpsed.
Hadn't Mace said how worried the grandmaster was about Dooku either leaving the Order or slipping into the Dark Side?
Feemor's com pinged, checking the caller, he rose from his seat, "I'm afraid I must go." He bowed to Dooku and Obi-Wan. "It was an honour to meet you, Padawan Kenobi. May the Force be with you."
"And with you," Dooku and Obi-Wan said in unison.
Qui-Gon rose as well, "I'll leave you both to your reading."
"Come again, my old apprentice," Dooku said, catching Qui-Gon's gaze.
Qui-Gon inclined his head, it had been a long time since Qui-Gon had sought out his Master's company.
Perhaps that too would change.
Obi-Wan was prepared as he was ever going to be about for his classes.
On one hand, he was excited to spend a day with the purpose of learning and he was bolstered by Master Dooku's assurances that he was supposed to ask for help. To the point where Dooku said, aside from the readings, they would do the homework together.
On the other hand, he wasn't thrilled to meet the other Padawans. Pre had friends, but Obi-Wan's only friend was Pre.
Obi-Wan's experience with other people was basically hiding from them. He was used to being the smallest and youngest in any given situation.
It didn't seem in his class of five students that this would be likely to change.
A tall boy with long black hair pushed by Obi-Wan, as the five of them walked down the hall.
Not expecting to be shoved, Obi-Wan stumbled into another boy beside him. It was as if a spell had been broken and suddenly when he had been so good at staying out of sight shattered around him as the other Padawans turned to stare at him.
He was steadied by gloved hands and greeted by a cocky smile. Obi-Wan met those brown eyes and knew by the gold band inked across his face that he was a Kiffar.
Obi-Wan tried to keep his shoulders straight as he pulled away from the Kiffar with tosseled dreadlocks.
"I heard Dooku's Padawan was joining us, but we were all beginning to wonder if you were just a rumour," the Kiffar said.
Depa elbowed the boy forward, "Be nice, Vos." She turned to Obi-Wan, "This is Quinlan Vos, the moron who doesn't watch his feet—" she motioned to the black haired boy who had shoved ahead of Obi-Wan. "Is Master Qui-Gon Jinn's Padawan, Xanatos. The Torgruta is Shaak Ti, Master Plo Koon's Padawan, the Kel Dor you met during the Council meeting."
Shaak flashed her teeth at him.
Depa what on, "And this is Kit Fisto, he's the Padawan of our saber-master, Master Cin Drallig."
Kit offered him a soft smile.
"Everyone, this is Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Master Dooku's Padawan."
No one reacted to his name, for which Obi-Wan was grateful.
Perhaps here, his name could be his own, a true name, rather than a place holder for one destined for the grave.
Xanatos scoffed, "He won't last."
Obi-Wan didn't let his distaste show, Xanatos reminded him of Tor.
And that would never be a compliment.
"Let's go," Quinlan said. "Wouldn't want to keep Jocasta waiting."
"Master Nu," Depa corrected, exasperated.
Quinlan grinned, clearly just wanting to get a rise out of her. "Hope you aren't as much as a stick in the mud as the rest of them, Obi."
Pain lanced through his heart, unexpected and raw.
Only Pre had ever called him that.
"Don't call me that," Obi-Wan snapped too harshly.
Quinlan held up his gloved hands, "Alright, alright, breathe a little, kid."
"Don't mind him," Depa told Obi-Wan as they entered the class. "Quin makes an artform out of irreverence."
"So does his Master," Shaak muttered as they sat.
Which 'he' she was talking about seemed a bit unclear, but Obi-Wan didn't have much time to worry about as Master Nu started in on her lecture about the hyperlanes and their history.
Some of the history was completely new territory for Obi-Wan, but a great portion he thought had been left out, at least from the maps.
But then his family didn't sweat legalities, and the Jedi were the foundation of the Republic. It made sense, therefore, that they would abide by certain rules.
Still, Obi-Wan wrote down some well treaded short cuts he knew of and interwove them into his notes to discuss with Master Dooku later.
Throughout the class, Master Nu called on no one and none of the students seemed willing to ask a question. However, everyone took notes, though Xanatos, who sat a few seats ahead of him seemed to be doing his own research on a seperate datapad and Quinlan only seldom joted something down —and from what Obi-Wan could glimpse— not in Basic.
Both boys were more focused and respectful than Pre had ever been about his studies.
That knowledge let Obi-Wan relax a bit. He thought that maybe he wouldn't be picked on so much here after all.
As it so happened, his wishful thinking proved to be as about as substantial as spun sugar in an engine's propellers.
"Isn't this all a little fast?" Ki-Adi asked.
"No," Plo said. "I agree with Mace, this is long overdue."
"We don't have the credits to pay them with," Poof said.
"We have something more prescious than credits," Mace argued. "We have food to feed them with."
"The Senate will catch wind of this," Ki-Adi warned.
"Doubtful that is," Yoda said. "Much the Senate does not see. Much they will not see, for good, use this we must. Yes, as others, ill have they used it. Long overdue is our action required."
Obi-Wan stared at the obstacle course, and for a moment, he thought he might lose his lunch.
There were pillars, moving platforms, and rope handholds, all of it over deep pools of water.
Obi-Wan didn't mind the water, it wasn't the cliff side his mother had tried to throw him off of, no, that wasn't why he was queasy, it was all the faces watching him.
Waiting for him to fail.
Watching to report back to Master Dooku.
But then Xanatos said, "It's alright if you're scared, Kenobi. It's only natural for someone with no experience with hardship."
Obi-Wan snapped back into himself, and he remembered that he didn't need to hide anymore.
"Obi-Wan, wait—" Depa called as Obi-Wan darted forward.
He ignored her.
The Force had been with him his entire life.
Guiding him.
Aiding him.
Protecting him from failing.
From falling.
The platforms were paced too far apart to jump naturally.
Obi-Wan didn't bother to hop from space to space as Shaak had done ahead of them.
Instead, he lengthened his strides. Obi-Wan had done this for years, only now he didn't have to hide.
He didn't have to be subtle.
He let himself go, let the Force carry him.
In turn, the Force gave him wings.
He flew through the obstacle course, but the ropes broke his rhythm, and he misjudged the last jump. Just barely catching the edge, his body slammed into the platform, knocking his breath from him.
But he didn't let go, didn't let himself fall.
Pre had taught him to always be in control of his body, to always be able to lift his own weight.
Obi-Wan pulled himself up onto the platform before Shaak could offer him a hand up. He took it anyway, thanking her.
He needed friends, especially if Xanatos proved to be the rival he seemed to be setting himself up as.
Quinlan gaped as he watched one of the youngest Padawans, who wasn't even Temple trained, run through the course with diabocale ease.
It wasn't the hardest course, but Kenobi was fluid and made it look effortless. It wasn't until the last jump did the new comer trip up, but the kid who looked like a strong gust could knock him over, pulled himself up without aid.
Whatever Obi-Wan Kenobi's background, it was obvious he hadn't led a pampered life.
Depa crossed her arms and shot Xanatos a smug look. She said in a voice meant only for them, "What's wrong, Xani, footwork not up to snuff with the nine-year-old?"
Xanatos's face twisted into a snarl before his expression smoothed over into a cold mask that didn't hide the fury in his green eyes. He turned his back on them and rushed the course. He was much faster than Kenobi had been, but Xanatos's infamous footwork, predictably did him in.
He slipped before the ropes, and only just caught himself. He finished half a minute later, his time out-doing both Shaak and Kenobi's scores, though with far less grace.
Quin exchanged a look with Depa.
Sometimes, Xanatos made a person question what Jinn saw in him at all. The boy was petty, prideful, and deceitful.
Xanatos didn't seem to understand that his superior time didn't undermine Kenobi's achievement.
Doubtless the Masters had their reasons for everything, but as a peer, it was sometimes hard to understand why some initiates were and weren't chosen.
Depa shook her head, then completed the course quicker and with more elegance than any of them could have done.
She was top of the class for a reason. Studying Vaapad and Juyo as she was, it was not surprising for her to do so, yet Xanatos still looked irritated about being shown up.
Quin sighed.
"Guess he might end up being more like you," Kit said, not elegantly, but Quin understanding.
It was looking like it was quite possible that someone as shy and as skilled as Obi-Wan had a similar background to Quin's own past.
"I hope not," Quin replied, he wouldn't wish that on anyone.
"I'll race you," Kit said, posturing at the start line.
Quin grinned before running forward, full-body knocking the other male off the edge.
Kit swan dived into the pool, disappearing beneath the surface.
Quin attempted to get through the course quicker than Kit could swim, but of course, Kit lunged from the water like some sort of sea monster while Quin was caught in the ropes. He found himself holding his breath a moment later as Kit rightfully dunked him in the tide pool.
It was —even Quin could admit— a deserved fate, as Kit left him floundering as he hopped nimbly onto the final platform with the others.
"Hey, Vos," Shaak called down to him. "Are you going to join us or are you enjoying having a bath for the first time in your life?"
Quin flipped her off, but couldn't keep from grinning.
Kenobi watched them all with wide eyes, as if he were expecting something terrible to happen.
Kit might be right, but Quin still hoped, for Kenobi's sake, that they had nothing at all incommon.
But the galaxy was rarely so kind.
AN: Thoughts, deinonychuses, or feedback, pretty please?