Chapter 10: Tulip part II
Continuing right from where we left off. There's a lot of events going on so this chapter/arc is split into two!
Catalyst
Nights are the hardest, especially when alone. Kamui already finished his homework and made too much for their dinner. His housemate's portion was neatly packed in the fridge.
The restless student already talked with several of his friends who were busying themselves for exams. There wasn't much on TV to watch, so Kamui ended up re-reading a favorite one-shot manga. He couldn't focus on it. Through past experiences came unneeded, irrational, worries.
It wasn't even that late. It shouldn't even bother Kamui this much. Yet, it does.
Something felt off. He'd been yearning more than usual. Things had felt a little rawer lately, and nightmares hadn't been kind this past week. Their house felt way too big, and empty sitting here alone.
Today Kamui needed to feel comfort a bit more. Subaru had been at work now for well over half the day, Kamui only saw him briefly very early in the morning. He hadn't gotten so much as a text back in hours.
Just hurry back home already. Kamui catches his thoughts and whimpers. He dwells on just how spoiled he'd become. Subaru assured him it was okay to be selfish sometimes, especially for a person you held dearly.
The turning of the lock leaves Kamui to all but leap from his seat on the couch. His heart starts skipping beats, hearing the turning of the doorknob.
"Kamui…." Subaru says warmly at the sight of his younger love rushing up to him in a hug. His eyes soften, though are clouded with exhaustion.
"Are you okay?" Kamui worries. He leans upon his tip-toes and helps the other out of his coat. Subaru smiles fondly, cupping Kamui's cheek.
"I'm glad I was able to get home before you fell asleep," Subaru expresses, rather relieved. He slips off his boots and clutches Kamui intimately close, burying his head in the shorter male's shoulder.
Kamui leans up and hugs back as much as he can. There's a certain feeling he'd be falling if he didn't hold to the other.
"Mnn," Subaru winces, feeling arms tighten around particularly tender bruises and sores formed from the day ahead.
"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?! I can run a bath for you now if it helps or…" Kamui's eyes panic, widening at the sight of red cuts and bruises all over. "You're hurt."
"I'm fine, I just need to rest…" Subaru tells the other, not entirely convincing, and quite exhausted. The taller of the two wants to say more, to hug Kamui tightly and tell him about work today and how incredible Kamui was at everything, as they finish their late dinner.
However, Subaru underestimates just how wiped out he'd become. Certain, he'd come back to Kamui he collapsed, his body weight falling and nearly knocking the smaller male back.
"Subaru!" Kamui cries. He calms hearing the sound of soft breaths. "Just sleeping…"
Kamui is far from weak and holds both of their weight up. His heart accelerates, feels a moment of panic as he hurriedly moves to take the depleted man back to bed.
They'd been through far worse. Kamui had unforgettable memories with Subaru's 'wishes'. Both losing his eye and all but throwing his life away on that bridge, there were quite a few images scarred to his mind. In comparison, this wasn't something to worry about, but he does.
Kamui carefully slings the older male's arm around his shoulders. His person's larger frame makes it a bit awkward trailing up the stairs.
Their bedroom door being open helped with the transition. With a lengthy breath, Kamui deposits them both back so they're sitting on the bed.
"I'm sorry," Subaru weakly stirs, coming to a bit more. His gentle hands reach towards Kamui, a little shaky. Kamui grasps it instantly. He holds it up to his cheek.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Kamui assures.
Subaru shakes his head. "You're always so kind to me, Kamui." Their hands interlace neatly.
"I could say the same to you," Kamui counters, kissing the tip of the taller male's nose.
"It's you… So I…" Subaru blinks his eyes close. He doesn't finish the words that had been lingering between them for ages.
This kind of incident was simple, rather common with the spiritualist profession. Subaru was incredibly strong. Kamui was fortunate this was a somewhat uncommon occurrence. At least, it was in comparison to what partners of weaker onmyouji would witness.
"I'm sorry…" Subaru apologizes again, fighting the lull back to sleep.
"You don't need to be sorry. I'm relieved you're back. That's all that matters," Kamui professes, sincerely squeezing the hand in his own.
It will be okay. Kamui ponders. Subaru wasn't badly injured like his nightmares conjured up. But still… he was hurt, weakened.
"Still, I worried you," Subaru protests. Kamui shakes his head pressing a finger over soft tender lips.
They'd been through much worse. They got through it. It would be fine, they would be together.
"Of course I'd be worried that can't be helped," Kamui fondly soothes.
"But I-"
"Shh."
Kamui hushes the other's protests. He guides the other to lie back on the mattress. Subaru was the one who needed time to rest.
Even still you're worried about me… Kamui reflects, feeling a hand gently brush over his thigh, assuring he was there.
"I'll always worry…" Kamui whispers.
Then there's that instant. Subaru's form gives in to its exhaustion. Subaru's weight falls over him once more. Kamui falls with his back on the bed.
The added weight slightly surprises Kamui, but it's warm and familiar. He hugs the tired figure resting on top of him. He's brought to when they first met.
That same position, under far better circumstances. Everything. Everything they've been through. Every little touch, comforting kiss, protective embrace….it rose to the surface.
Those desires, and foggy dreams… the feeling of being pressed into the sheets, it wasn't all that different from now.
Thinking back now Kamui could easily envision the face from his fantasies clearly. The seductive, glistening eyes that would always Kamui at a loss. A tender smile, unseen but loving eyes, and incredibly gentle touch.
"It's been you…" Realization dawns over him. Emotions water down reddening cheeks harshly.
It all did make sense now. Though if the person he dreamed of was him, then, he really was really really in too deep.
"I think I might be…"
Perhaps this was that one moment where it finally clicked. The very catalyst that makes one realize you're in love.
Kamui adjusts them back towards the head of the bed, under the covers. He's not minding the warm weight falling over partly him again.
I have to tell you Subaru. It was way too much to keep inside. Arms hugging Kamui close, face nuzzling over Kamui's chest takes him over the edge.
I've fallen in love with you.
Fantasy
An erotic scene unfolds. It's become impossible to fight it.
"Oh my God! If this keeps I'm gonna…" Kamui doesn't finish his thought. He whines at the feeling of the hardened erection inside his body fully pulling out. His legs are quickly lifted, spread, and slung over broad shoulders.
"It's alright," Kamui's once mystery lover tells him. He's filled to the brim while his lover bottoms out, stretching him so good. So perfect. It's as though they were made to join together as one.
The currently dominant male groans at the tightness overwhelming him. "I quite like seeing you come undone." It's a painfully seductive tone.
Curious, eyes gaze to see long raven bangs shifting from a heated face above. Kamui's suspicions are confirmed. He clearly sees the shadows of lust darkening sinful emerald and gold orbs.
"Mhmm… SUBARU!" Kamui cries out feeling his most sensitive spots being hit dead on. A very aroused cock only hits him deeper, sinking in as a warm body rests on Kamui. He's folded in half, and it's entirely too much for Kamui to keep his eyes open for long.
It's unmistakably the one he's been pining for. "I love when you call my name like that~" The seductive smirk fell to a soft enamored little smile. Lips pressed hard and melded with Kamui swallowing every little moan that came thrust by thrust.
"I-I!" Kamui feels his vision going white. The pace increases much deeper, harder, and with more passion.
"You're so cute. My Kamui~" Sinful lips confess and leave Kamui breathless. That little pet-name does it for him.
The feeling of his body being deeply loved and filled turns his vision blank.
Blissful sighs escape sleepy lips. Kamui stirs, quickly breaking from his content slumber.
"Oh god!"
Kamui jolts up, knowing how he'd reacted. His hands slap over his mouth. The feeling of a comforting body pressed behind him feels all too hot. He carefully wriggled out and hurried to their bathroom.
Hot, writhing, and entirely loved up, Kamui had woken up countless nights this week. What had once been a dreamscape of only painful images was being replaced with very clear very pleasurable fantasies. It was all too easy to imagine those touches. Kamui could easily see himself lost in that kind of bliss. He splashes icy cold water on his face, gathering himself.
The reactive male couldn't possibly stay frustrated when he came back to bed. It's an impossibility after he saw his bed-mate curled up sweetly. He was helpless to do more than lay back down and cuddle close.
Steamy dreams kept taking over him. It overflowed his senses. More than anything he'd been left in his thought, his heart pounding as his knees buckled as past words replayed. To think that would come out for a simple festival invitation.
I want to be with you.
Subaru had things he wanted to tell him too. Between them, things were slipping out like crazy.
That evening kept replaying in his head. there was the way he could almost feel how soft his lips were.
Kamui groans. Maybe it was a stupid bit cliche, but if there was a hint of truth to the luck that field of roses brought then he would take it.
It was only a matter of time now. Kamui decides he prefers a clear-cut confession before it goes too far. There doesn't need to be any more chances for guessing. His heart would be given before his physical self can be (hopefully desired and) loved up. Kamui burns crimson at the aspect of eventually acting on those Subaru overhear his heated sleep talk wouldn't do.
To keep things inside like this. It was burdening, painful. Just like that night. They were just so close… And it tore at him when they had to be apart.
Maybe he was supposed to have a longer period being in misery, longing and desiring only his lost love. Of course, those losses hurt like hell… But shouldn't let his heart get carried away again, right?
Subaru was at least partially to blame. Those sweet words and gentle touches made it illogical to do anything but fall hard.
Kamui's eyes linger longingly over the older man's sleeping face. He curls up close to his side hiding his face within the warm chest.
I have to tell you.
A lullaby heartbeat takes Kamui deeper, lulling him to a night of blissful sleep.
Tomorrow then…
*Blossoming*
The morning of and several pep talks later Kamui finally worked up the courage to enter the dressing room booth. Inexperienced, he puts on his Yukata, one which the academy director himself picked for him. All of this ensuring he'd 'successfully seduce' his crush.
Kamui flushes looking at himself in the mirror. The soft violet fabric wraps perfectly around his slender figure, white cherry blossoms are printed up and down the robe, several ivory flowers surround an image of a vibrant blossom. The lilac obi tied around him accentuated his slender figure beautifully.
"Here let me help with that," The soft-spoken feminine voice came from just outside the changing stalls. Looking back, it should have been a bit more embarrassing. Now, his mind was fuzzy. Kamui was already dressed and covered...albeit not as properly as he hoped.
Kamui knew this was a setup, but it became exhausting to keep fighting. The academy had outfits ready for them. Ones that just happened to be fitted to both himself and his beloved's measurements.
It was all ready for them in the Performing Arts department. In another room close-by, Subaru had been dragged to get dressed. Though Kamui assumed he was ready, hearing him talk quietly with Nokoru and Suoh over something regarding the festival's traditions.
"Ah, thank you," Kamui thanks quietly. The twin-tailed girl smiles softly at Kamui. Her soft demeanor is soothing.
"It's not a problem," She says, soft-spoken. "I've had experience wearing a lot of traditional Japanese clothing growing up. I heard from the director this was a special occasion for you, so I was happy to help."
Kamui nods at this. "Ah, yeah… It's the first time I've been to a festival like this."
"And you get to be with someone you care for," She smiled, adding on gently, knowingly. The lilac haired woman had grace and innocence to her. It didn't feel like she was teasing him. A little guilty if she did something wrong she adds on, "That's what I heard from Nokoru so…"
Kamui wasn't quite sure how to respond. He simply nodded, looking away and towards the door in front of him. "It's alright."
"Well, you're all ready now, Kamui," Nagisa announced sweetly. Kamui stepped further out into the room. Another beaming woman with short green-black hair opens the door. Her smile is bright. The cheerful girl wears a long yellow and pink Kimono. Her looks are accented by a larger yellow bow in the back of her hair.
"Nagisa, you did a wonderful job!" She cheerily insisted, walking over to hug her shyer friend.
"Oh, Kamui this is Ijyuin-Ohkawa Utako. We've been friends and assisting with different councils on campus since Kindergarten." Nagisa quickly introduces and holds her hand out to the other girl.
"Oh, that's really nice," Kamui comments, a little overwhelmed at the moment. Things click for a second. "You know Akira then?"
"I would hope so," Uchako laughs. "I am married to him."
"Right," Kamui recalls, flushing at his choice of words. The prodigy had come in several times to meet with Nokoru, and help with some of their cooking lessons. "He talks about you a lot," Kamui says, now knowing the relation, it made sense.
"I'm glad," Utako beams, holding a hand to her pinkening cheeks. The love-sick woman walks over to her friend and gives her a strong hug. "The design you helped pick was perfect!" She complimented, bouncing on her heels.
"You're sure to win over your crush's heart looking like that!"
"Oh, you've got the wrong idea…" Kamui murmurs, both women look over him a bit confused. It seemed Nokoru was right, this Kamui, savior of humanity, was extremely love-shy.
Kamui felt the need to rush back in behind the changing stall. He did fight the urge. He was already dressed, and he could probably get out of this quickly enough.
"I...assumed Nokoru set this all up. But I appreciate all your help." Kamui added quietly, eyes taking particular interest in the floor.
"It was a bit of a combined effort," Utako explained a little bashful. It was a little hard to stay put when there was a chance she could help someone in love. According to what Nokoru had told her.
"There's one last part though," Nagisa's quiet voice chirps through. There's something soft and melodic about the girl's voice alone. Her apparent musical skills, Suoh spoke so highly of, only seemed fitting. "You don't have to keep it on if you don't want to. I just found it fits nicely…" Nagisa says, taking a soft-lilac hairpin off a table in the room.
"What are you talking about? He has to wear it now!" Utako bursts out. Kamui hesitates to look towards the mirrors in front of him. The light hair-ornament contrasts beautifully with his silky raven hair. Decorations resembling lilac-colored cherry blossoms seemed to entirely bloom at the side of Kamui's silky hair. The flower decor ran across Kamui's bangs, following up with a lavender ribbon, wrapped up by smaller flowers.
The argument of it being quite 'girly' died in Kamui's throat. A lot of people certainly did put time into picking an outfit for him, and the females around him seemed so happy with their work. Fingers gently tapped at the hair-pin. Kamui did admit it was pretty, and the thought of it being seen that way did bring a smile to his face.
"Thank you," Kamui bows his head politely, a little flustered. He was really going through with this. "I should get going, I don't want to keep anyone waiting." He attempted as calmly as possible. He couldn't look either woman in the eyes. At least, Nagisa wasn't so upfront and certain about Kamui. He heard giggling from the other.
They were already dressed and he could get away from this uncomfortable scenario soon. It would be easier when he was along with Subaru. The flustered boy grasps for a small black pouch holding his phone.
"I should just-…" Kamui isn't even sure what he was going to say. His heart starts stammering, as he hears Subaru's voice. There's a little bout of laughter from outside, something about it, makes it hard to speak, think. Weakened knees start buckling, cheeks flare-up. Kamui's lips curl up to a dreamy smile.
"That's him isn't it?" Uchako claps her hands together. She seems quite pleased at her discovery. She twirls a strand of silky black-green hair around her finger.
"Yeah…" Kamui answers without thinking, a little dazed as he turns the doorknob.
"The person you're in love with." The words are whispered, meant to only get a reaction out of Kamui. Accusations like that no longer hold any falsehoods. Things aren't so simple… Kamui thinks. He needed to get those words out and see where they'll stand.
Heartbeat drumming in his ears, it's near-impossible to make out whatever was being discussed in the waiting area, between the various changing departments. It was unclear what anyone was saying at the moment.
Subaru had been waiting seemingly patiently, perched beside one of the chairs. Kamui's breath hitches at the sight of the elegant older man wrapped in the traditional robe. Pupils blow up, as glistening orbs of violet stare longingly.
Subaru was already dressed and ready for the festival. A sense of serenity surrounded him, listening to whatever the director and his assistant talking. There was something that seemed so natural, with the simple yet elegant white and black yukata on him. The door opening shifts the attention of those waiting.
"K-Kamui?" Subaru stutters out. Glossy gold-emerald eyes widening comically so. Pupils dilated. His lips stayed parted, as the older male went breathless. Everything from the elegant fabric, color, and design fit Kamui perfectly.
Kamui's smile quirks up, soft and shy. Just the way that melts his admirer's heart. He plays with the flowery-pin beside his hair. "Does it look alright?" Kamui asks softly, uncertain. The vulnerable boy turns his gaze away from one he feels boring into him.
"Subaru?" Kamui asks again, eyes trembling a bit. The intensity of the gaze makes him stumble back a step or two.
Subaru manages to gather himself somewhat to answer. "Oh, yes, it…" It's way too hard to stay focused. Kamui is simply glowing, as he comes closer. The pink flush painted across his cheeks, only enhances his natural features.
The purple flowers fit perfectly with the ensemble. Subaru could see a vision of flowers surrounding Kamui's face as he gazed back at him.
Subaru swallows, seeing every detail, of the outfit, how perfectly it hugs his beloved. Suddenly, the room feels way too overcrowded. The need to get Kamui alone overwhelmed his thoughts. Thankfully, it seemed everyone seemed to foresee this.
"Well, we'll be seeing you two at the festival~" Nokoru bids them farewell, waving enthusiastically. The director's friends follow along. The plan was coming together.
As though drawn by gravitation itself, Kamui and Subaru begin closing the distance.
"You look really nice," Kamui expresses, voice soft as a whisper. He gasps at the sudden feeling of an arm tightly around his waist. Loving gold and emerald eyes fall deeper and deeper into violet-blue. Gentle fingers brush against the side of Kamui's cheek.
"You look…" Subaru pauses, mouth going dry. There wasn't a word that could come to mind that seemed to fit. Kamui was burning up under his fingertips, but it felt impossible to stop the word from slipping. "Beautiful."
Kamui's knees go entirely weak at the words, his legs begin shaking. It's a surprise he's still standing. Even when trying to look away for a sense of clarity, he is guided back every time and made to look into very intense, honest eyes. It's fortunate the protective man before Kamui secured him with an arm steadying around his middle. Very fortunate...although, it was Subaru's fault for the reaction, to begin with.
So, the second Kamui feels a slight loosening on his cheek, he ducks down. The embarrassed raven-haired male buries his face in the fabric upon Subaru's shoulder. "Thank you," Kamui murmurs, wrapping his arms around the other's neck. "I was worried it might be a little much…"
"No-no-no," Subaru swears earnestly. "It's perfect." You're perfect.
Kamui whispers his thanks against the welcoming shoulder. The younger, slightly more flushed male, keeps himself buried, deep within his 'sanctuary' until the feeling returns to his legs. Subaru doesn't comment on it, quite enamored with the feeling and sight of Kamui in his arms like this.
"I'm so glad you could come," Kamui professes, uncertain he came to keep everything from slipping out. Tender lips, press kisses on the top of his head. The pair fall into their own little world.
"Of course," Subaru returns, feeling Kamui's weight leaning on him. He tightens his hold. "You're alright?" he checks, despite unknowingly making the problem worse by pressing them flushed, and nuzzling his nose in Kamui's soft black locks. He breathes in the other's intoxicating scent.
Comfortable silence is exchanged. It's hard to say how many moments passed before they very slowly moved apart. Their fingers lace perfectly together, as Kamui tugs Subaru's hand within his own.
"We should go see the festival," Kamui begins, heart thundering. Deep confusing feelings seem about ready to burst. Today would just have to be the day they could hopefully come out properly.
"Alright," Subaru agrees, content to hold Kamui for quite some time longer. The prospect of walking hand in hand with Kamui through a bustling and lively festival is enticing. Especially so, knowing Kamui had his share of admirers on and off-campus.
Festival
It takes a little bit of time to focus enough to look anywhere but each other, but Subaru and Kamui do go on their way. As the pair leave the art building, they're met with an incredibly bright beam of sunlight. Flowers glimmered and glowed. The rose garden was especially beautiful, vibrant, and gleaming with color.
Kamui felt his heart hammering, his intentions for today were entirely nerve-wracking.
Subaru thought he was beautiful.
Somehow… Kamui's mind processes the thought. From the corner of his eye, he steals a glance to admire the older man's elegant features. His skin looked incredibly smooth, soft cheeks that glistened a beautiful morning light. Beautiful, feminine features took prominence on his pretty face.
Though Kamui finds the taller male to have more masculine features, his built and height certainly. The balance of elegant femininity and masculinity seemed to flow so smoothly.
Subaru easily could be noted as a "pretty boy." Although it was easy enough to tell he was a man Kamui, feels his lips curve down. His protective roommate (and current date?) didn't have to worry about being mistaken as a girlfriend or wife when they went out on errands.
Gold and emerald eyes had always been entrancing. Just as they were when both eyes were that deep emerald color, there was such a strong emotion. It didn't matter who that eye belonged to prior, it was all a part of Subaru now.
It felt like a victory seeing eyes that are calm and unreadable to others' reactions. They never fail to take Kamui in, sweeping him away. And that night. They almost kissed. He was sure of it. That had to be a green light.
He'd never told Subaru how deeply the river ran. They've always cared for and needed each other. Maybe this was...fate.
"Are you alright?" Subaru's gentle words caress his ears. Kamui's eyes widen. His heart, setting off like a hummingbird. When did he get so close?
"I'm fine," Kamui professes quickly. He turns his head away, trying not to linger too obviously, on those pale-pink lips. Their movements when Subaru talked, the press of his lips together the occasional slip of his tongue when his mouth went dry.
How had Kamui managed to focus on anything Subaru said for nearly five months before now?
Grief… had its way of dousing desire, and feeling. The physical never mattered remotely as much as emotional. Though when emotional attachment did set in, the desire became overwhelming. Kamui's eyes fall over Subaru's face in a daze. The gentle hand on his cheek makes him relax, eyes closing softly.
"I think this is where the festival starts," Subaru whispers the words right into Kamui's ear. The latter almost pouts, it should be obvious doing something like that made it hard to think. When did they arrive here?
Several game booths, food stalls, and shops with beautiful trinkets were lined up snuggly. Their campus was already bustling with life. Whispers were heard, as quite a few admirers
"I always wondered who would steal away Shirou's heart," One of the school girls whispers, not too discreetly.
Kamui burns up, feeling steam come out of his ears. His ears redden.
"Ooh, though now it makes sense," Another student sighs dreamily.
Kamui isn't sure whether to be more embarrassed or perturbed by the attention his partner was getting.
Curious whispers followed up with just who Kamui's apparent love interest was. What university department he was from? And so on… It only made the younger male pout, squeezing the hand in his own tight.
Subaru wasn't exactly his but he definitely wasn't theirs. Maybe Kamui indulges in the way Subaru lets him rest his head against his arm.
It definitely felt like a date. There was a bit of smugness on Kamui's face as admirers of Subaru seemed more than a little perturbed.
Unfortunately, most students were far more interested in seeing the gorgeous couple together than anything. A few fans squealed with delight when Kamui leaned his head against the taller male.
The dreamy eyes of admirers looking at Subaru feel more bothersome than attention to himself. He huffs a bit, missing the fond curl of his date's lips.
Kamui feels a little pleased, Subaru doesn't let go of his hand. He's never been against holding hands, and all the gentle skinship.
Violet-blue eyes blink furiously as he feels Subaru stop. A hand reaches up to the side of his cheek. Fingers flutter up the side of his face before carefully tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear.
"They fit well together, look at them~"
"So cute!"
Another hushed whisper spurs on. Well, at least that was kind of nice to hear. It wasn't all bad, maybe a little endearing to know others could see them as a match.
Then comes a more blatant one. "They're totally doing it." The words are unabashed, not even a single girl in the group argued with the claim.
Never mind anything he thought of this being endearing. His face flares up a thousand shades of scarlet, burning painfully hot from ear to ear.
They were five minutes in and he already was half tempted to run as far as possible from the festival.
"Oh! S-S-Subaru?!" Kamui sputters indignantly.
"Yes? " Subaru asks, slightly wincing at how tightly Kamui squeezes him. His thumb brushes against the side of Kamui's hand soothing it bit by bit to loosen.
"W-w-w-we should look here," Kamui stumbles further his voice cracking. He tugs on his 'date's' hand. By the end of this, he hopes he can rather openly call him that. All the past awkwardness would be just a memory.
Subaru seems only mildly surprised. His eyes raise curiously but seeing the fascinated looks their way it clicks. Subaru laughs softly.
"Of course," Subaru agrees, squeezing Kamui's hand tightly. He's a bit tempted to tease Kamui for his eagerness. Though it seemed the popular student was barely keeping himself from burning up at the attention given.
It didn't matter what stall they ended up at so long as Kamui could get some space. He'd die if Subaru heard more comments regarding their not-quite-yet relationship.
They ended up stopping in front of a small booth, with little ceramic figurines of different animals. Beside it was colorful and flowery necklaces, rings, bracelets, and earrings. They all shimmered from the booth's little table.
It wasn't something Kamui found particularly of interest. Yet, it gave him an excuse to cool himself down and look away from any eyes on him.
"Is there something you like?" Subaru asks entirely curious, intrigued. Kamui looked incredibly alluring, and the lavender hairpin suits him perfectly.
He was entirely biased. Yet, still, it worked better with Kamui than any else at the festival, and honestly in existence. His lovesick brain was very sure.
Then amongst the mix of accessories was a small box with two golden bands. The sight of two matchings rose rings did terrible (wonderful) things to his heart. He was already a little overly hopeful, that was nowhere near in the cards for them. Still, emerald and gold eyes glance down at Kamui's unclaimed hand, ringless finger. His gaze shifts from the box of rings and back to Kamui.
Something like that would look good on him. He nods to himself.
Subaru had barely managed to stop himself earlier from ravishing Kamui. That was just from seeing him blushing prettily in his Yukata. If his mind drowns in any more of this fantasy, there is fear he'll risk what he had with Kamui now. That's not an option.
"There's a game over there," Kamui points to a stall followed by a small pool of plastic toys. One of which Subaru recalls seeing a figure resembling a cat with fiery tails.
"That's the character from the fantasy series you've been watching, right?"
Kamui nods, brushing his hands through his hair. He glances away. It felt a little special knowing Subaru remembered something like that.
"That's right," Kamui tilts his head. His full eyelashes flutter. Looking a bit dreamily, he sees his date conversing with the volunteer running the stand.
"Well then we should give it a try," Subaru kneels beside Kamui, handing him one of the scooping wands.
"Thanks," Kamui gingerly takes the fragile tool. Their fingers brush setting off a tiny spark as they lock eyes again. Determined, Kamui dips the scoop into the pool of water. The thin netting snaps at the pressure missing any of the prizes.
"Hm, Kamui…" Subaru presses his lips tight. Though a chuckle escapes, especially seeing Kamui's face scrunch up tightly.
"Don't laugh," Kamui huffs. He turns, looking at the elegant face, rather close to him. Quickly he whips his head back, lips form a bit with a pout.
"I'm not," Subaru says, looking up to incredulous eyes. "Really, it's not like that. You were just very serious..." Subaru slips another paper scoop into Kamui's hands. "Try again." He encourages, taking a hold of Kamui's wrist to keep it steady.
"Take a breath," Subaru whispers into Kamui's ear slowly letting his hand go. Complying, Kamui relaxes a bit more, his movements more gentle and careful than before. The paper net slips under a small cartoon-cat toy.
It's close, and the eager student is ready to clinch the win.
"Ahh! Why?" Kamui practically growls at the torn scoop. Subaru snorts a little at the sounds which follow. He turns towards the same worker running the stand, paying for the chance of another round.
"It can be tricky," Subaru begins, he attempts to lead by example. "You have to go a little slower, and gently press in…" The movement comes out a bit more graceful. Kamui's huffs make him laugh, slipping a little.
"See it's not that easy!" Kamui refutes, a little relieved he didn't make a total fool of himself.
"It's not," Subaru absently agrees. The pout staining Kamui's lips, and little huff is just too much. His hands reach to brush back strands of hair that fell in front of Kamui's face.
A bit calmer, Subaru tries once again. Feeling Kamui's curious gaze boosts his confidence. The paper netting slips under the mascot toy tried for. With a gentle and languid movement, the scoop catches the toy and lifts from the water, staying intact.
Subaru hands Kamui the little prize. The younger student ducks his head, flushing as he hears coos and awws from onlookers.
"Thank you…" Kamui thanks, a little frustrated with himself, but all the while quite impressed. Subaru got this for him. That's all that really mattered here.
"Of course," Subaru places his hand on top of Kamui's. "You want to try again? I know you'll get it."
Kamui's lips curl up at the bout of confidence. "Maybe on the next one," He says, seeing countless games and stalls throughout. The pair stand back up heading out to see more of the activities.
The pair naturally turns quite a few heads walking through the crowds. They stop now and then to look at the small shopping booths and finally try for another scoping game.
This one comes out a hit easier. The small prizes of tiny colorful bounce-balls come up much lighter. Kamui does get the hang of it. With a bowl full of the little prizes, Kamui flashes a million-dollar smile.
The confidence boost, has Kamui dragging the other to several more games. The victorious grins commit to Subaru's memory. Hands gently pet the top of the raven head, careful not to leave it messy.
"You're a quick learner," Subaru compliments the younger male, entirely happy to see the other in good spirits. Kamui holding his hand so freely never failed to warm a lovesick heart.
"Well really. It helps when I have a good teacher," Kamui returns sweetly, despite his earlier gloating. His date was rather cute though so Subaru didn't comment on the contradiction.
"Are you hungry?" Subaru asks. They approach some of the food stalls. Different candies, fried treats, and western and traditional snacks are shown through countless booths.
"I'm good either way," Kamui says, stomach a bit in knots at his plans for the day. "Are you?"
Subaru shrugs. "I'm good with whatever you'd like," He professes, cupping a hand on Kamui's cheek.
"Subaru…" Kamui thinks to respond, mind foggy. He holds the hand on his cheek. "There is somewhere I'd like to-" He's cut off by the sound of his phone buzzing from a small bag he'd brought along.
'More Shameless flirting?'
The text reads, making Kamui flush. He groans, knowing immediately who was here.
"Hello~!" Yuzuriha's cheerful voice calls out to Kamui. She's dressed up in a bright pink Yukata with white Sakura blossoms printed throughout. There's a group of girls Kamui recognizes from one of their home-ec classes, surrounding her, that she waves to. They head to one of the nearby stalls.
She rather easily invades the pair's personal space. Her arms quickly wrap around and hug the two.
"Hello, Ne-Yuzuriha," Subaru politely responds, barely catching himself. Increased familiarity with Kamui's friends was something he'd need to adapt to. "It's good to see you again."
"Same here!" She grins cheerfully turning in her colorful robe. "I see you two came here together." She emphasizes with a wink to Kamui.
The young student groans, hiding his face in his taller date's sleeve.
"Did you get here early?" She asks curiously and grinning knowingly.
"Ah, a bit," Kamui mumbles, not divulging how it seemed the director and countless other faculty on campus arranged a setup. Their custom picked-outfits clearly complemented each other too well to be a coincidence.
"How about you?" Kamui questions.
"I got here pretty recently to meet up with some of our classmates! Oh, and I saw Keiichi too! He's been helping out at the cotton candy booth, you should go say hi!" She cheerfully trails on.
"I will," Kamui agrees, looking in the direction his boisterous friend gestures towards. He gives a little wave to see his brunette friend cheerily helping out a few other students from the high school council.
"So are you having fun here now!?"
Subaru answers to that. "It's been… really nice," He returns fondly and not keeping his eyes off of Kamui for a second.
"I can see that~" She teases and gestures for Kamui to come closer with a wave.
"Just know I support you two 100%." She whispers her stance. Kamui frowns avoiding eye contact.
"Have you two seen the Rose maze yet?" Her lips curl up. The younger of the two men burn up a bit, reflecting the rumor he'd been told. All he told Yuzuriha was that he was bringing Subaru. Was it that obvious?
"Rose maze?" Subaru repeats, raising a brow. He looks to see his shy date, gazing on the ground.
"I'm sure Kamui can tell you all about it. It's a tradition on campus!" She omits a few details. Important details that made Kamui hesitate on going there earlier as planned.
"Well, I should let you two go!" She giggles, and tightly hugs Kamui. "Good Luck!" She whispers Kamui's cheeks flare-up.
"Have a good time at the festival!"
"You as well, " Subaru calls out a little baffled by the boisterous girl's actions. His eyes linger and lower with concern seeing Kamui avoid his eyes.
"Kamui?" Subaru asks, pressing a hand to an overly hot cheek. "Are you okay?"
The younger male nods vigorously. "Ah, yeah. I'm just hungry! We can maybe see Keiichi there?" There's a strong grasp on his date's grip as he drags him to the booth.
Kamui's friends are all smiles today, seeming to sense something changing today.
"It's great to see you both!" Keiichi had greeted, beaming at the sight of the two pressed closely together.
"It's good to see you too," Kamui briefly looks up.
"Enjoying your time so far? I know it's the first time for both of you right? " Keiichi words are intended with innocence. The sharper look from a slightly mortified Kamui makes him quickly correct it.
"I mean, with it being your first Spring semester here," Keiichi corrects himself. Taking a cardboard cone, practiced hands twirl it around the sugar-filled machine.
"Oh, yeah… That's true.." Kamui agrees rather meekly. He looks in awe at the sight of the fluffy blue and pink cone in his hand.
"Are things going well for you? You're helping with the student council again right?" Kamui attempts to shift the conversation. Thankfully, Keiichi doesn't press too far on matters.
"That's right! It's been really nice! Everyone's so cheerful today!" Keiichi enthuses, with an ear to ear grin.
"That's good then," Kamui nods and feels a grip on his hand. There's something entirely protective about the touch. Looking around one can see several students giggling and looking Kamui up and down.
"You two have a good time then!" Keiichi finishes before handing the sugary treat to his friend.
"You too," Kamui adds warmly and allows his friend to get to other customers. The fluttering male squeezes the hand in his own tightly. He could do this.
They take a few moments wandering around the festival grounds. Their hands brush almost constantly, taking off pieces and small bites of the sugary treat. On occasion, Kamui finds his hand captive. Kisses occasionally follow with soft sugar-coated lips.
The time walking gives Kamui the clarity to finally head towards his destination. His ivory hand lifts and gestures towards the flourishing garden in the back.
"Ah, It doesn't look too crowded now, we should go see the maze," Kamui suggests as calmly as possible. Subaru's eyes lower, a bit perplexed. They follow the movement with Kamui's shaky hands and avoidant demeanor.
Still, violet-blue eyes turned hopeful at the sight of the flowery garden. Subaru lets the younger male lead him and his heart forward.
~Rose Maze~
Countless, roses align elegantly upon the tall grassy walls of the maze. While red is prominent, hints of white and pink petals decorate the path as well.
A blushing pair of students are seen exiting the flower maze. The boy and girl have the same ashy-blonde hair. Their hands linked tightly before they leaned up to meet for a quick peck.
Violet-blue eyes follow and study the nervous behavior which follows. Was he going to be that obvious coming out on the other side? Did he already look like a nervous wreck?
I guess I'm really doing this…
"Something wrong?" Gentle words caress the nervous boy's ears. Subaru's hand curls over his. Kamui shakes his head.
"It's nothing," Kamui starts and tugs the taller man's wrist. There's a comfortable silence. Kamui's hand becomes encased by a larger one. He hums at the feeling of the gentle hand playing and caressing with his before settling and interlacing their fingers together.
"I'm happy you were able to come today," Kamui begins, leaning forward. They hearing another pair of students whispering sweet nothings as they exited from the other end of the maze.
I can do this… We've gotten so close already. I can't just be reading into things. Kamui gulps, his thoughts attempt to comfort him. His kind-hearted date waits patiently for Kamui to lead him through occasionally offering a simple comment to break the tension between.
"This must have taken your school a lot of time setting this up," Subaru comments casually. Nimble fingers reach others to brush up on the petals of a soft lilac rose.
"Yeah, they've been setting up for weeks now," Kamui responds. His mind flashes back to seeing the swamped workers rushing in and out of the garden to supply the grassy maze with more flowers.
"It's beautiful," Subaru tells Kamui, solely looking at his flushed face. His fingers grasp for the stem of the rose, smoothing it out for any thorn. Gracefully the flower is plucked.
A tender hand falls under Kamui's chin. "Subaru?"
"Close your eyes," Comes the gentle instruction. The words lead to Kamui analyzing the situation.
Is he going to…? Kamui flushes at the thought. Still, the gentle hand under his chin calms him. Fingers brush the smooth skin and Kamui slowly complies.
Long, full lashes come to a close. Their exuberance is only more apparent as beautiful violet eyes shut completely.
The hand under Kamui's chin gently shifts. Fingers move up and caress a pale cheek, before guiding it to turn. Kamui sighs softly, content and entirely trusting.
Dual-colored eyes focus on the naturally elegant features. Fingers brush aside the raven hair to the side, not decorated by the beautiful hair accessory. Long fingers carefully slip the stem of the flower behind Kamui's ear, brushing it in place.
"You can open your eyes," Subaru finishes, quite fondly. Glimmering eyes admire their handiwork.
Kamui reaches up to feel the soft petals resting beside his ear.
"It suits you," Subaru tells him in earnest. Long fingers linger in Kamui's hair for the moment. The younger of the two feels himself flustered, cheeks growing terribly pink. The motion increases more so seeing beautiful lips come closer and press upon his temples.
"You think so?" Kamui asks, his voice a little shaky. He wonders if Subaru would even take his words as being even somewhat playful.
There are no complaints or teasing. Brightened dual-hued eyes shine and shimmer, reflecting the sunny rays above.
"I do," Subaru admits, words a bit more forward than Kamui could anticipate.
This is a good sign. Kamui thinks briefly. He just needs to catch his breath. Maybe he wouldn't need to say the words. Maybe it already shows on his face.
It's not too far off before they come towards an open area. Grassy bushes align to form a heart around the elegant field of red and pink roses.
A light-pink bench resides in the center of the heart. Colorful red and white swirls paint upon the seat, alongside prints of various stages of blossoming flowers.
The space is open to them. By all accounts, this should have been easy.
"Could we sit-down?" Kamui fumbles out the words. His partner nods, squeezing Kamui's hand.
"Of course," He answers. There's suspicion in lowering gold-emerald eyes, watching as Kamui looks down at the ground. He stumbles, bumping his foot against the leg of the bench.
Kamui winces in pain, before turning on his heel. Another clumsy action follows, making Kamui slip upon the grassy field beneath his feet.
"Woah!" Kamui yelps, feels his balance going. His arms reach out seeking stability. The hand on his own is tight. An arm at his waist holds him protectively and to add to Kamui's fluttering heartbeat it feels a bit possessive as well.
Subaru's hand rests at his lower back. Whilst their linked hands are lifted. Alluring eyes look down at Kamui with heated interest. Kamui swallows, looking up to see tender yet sensual eyes meeting him. His body has dipped back just a bit, sparking the feeling of a similar position they'd been in that Valentine's night.
Kamui cries out, feeling hoisted back up and brought particularly close to a warm chest. At some point, they slow down enough to actually take a seat. The grassy patch of roses feels encouraging somehow. They surrounded the pair, somehow wishing them good luck.
Subaru sits patiently right beside him on the bench. Their hand's lace neatly, belonging.
"Um… Subaru?" Kamui starts. His free hand clenched tightly to the bench beneath him.
"Yes?" Subaru prompts. His fingers playfully brush through silky hair, smoothing it down only to fluff up tresses again.
Kamui bites down on his lip, suppressing the need to mewl. Or to just give in completely, do whatever it takes to make it obvious he wants more of this kind of intimacy.
"I… Well, I mean I really wanted to bring you here," Kamui explains, working up the nerve to look his gentle love in the eyes.
"I see," Subaru responds simply. Smoothly he grasps for Kamui's trembling hand holding painfully tight to the edge of the bench. "I'm glad you did."
The trembling hand is taken further into loving captivity. Shaking fingers are kissed sweet and innocent, their eyes locking all the while.
"I really…" Kamui pauses, mouth dry. He licks his lips, hoping to calm his own heart, but entirely ignites the other. "I've been thinking and…" Kamui stops, feeling the hand peppered with kisses being held tight. Their linked hands fall to Kamui's lap.
"Subaru…" The sight of his own hand being pinned to his lap makes him breathless.
"Being able to live with you makes me happy," Kamui professes, eyes glossy and ready to overflow. Something is tugging at his chest and he doesn't mean to let his tears slip.
"I'm glad," Subaru returns with a gentle passion. His hand lifts to dry the falling drops of emotion from glittering eyes of violet-blue. "I'm incredibly happy to have you home with me."
"Kamui," Subaru soothes his name, entirely eager with where this atmosphere is leading them. Gentle pale-pink lips caress and soothe falling tears.
Kamui absolutely mewls, feeling lips so close, kissing and dissolving trickles of emotion up and down his cheeks. The kiss to his eyelids only makes things feel heavier.
"Please don't cry," Subaru says softly, cupping the tear-stained cheek. It all feels impossible to carry. Kamui's eyes shiver before he suddenly lunges towards the older male. His arms wrap around the accommodating shoulders as he buries himself into the warm embrace.
Subaru's arms are quick to hold him close. They always have been. The older male shushes him gently.
"I know before I've said it a while ago… There are things I've wanted to tell you," Kamui attempts again. The slender male leans back slightly from the hug and gazes into adoring eyes. He gulps feeling words die more and more in his throat. "And I…" The curious yet patient eyes on him hold him captive.
Kamui swallows, his lips trembling again. "I…I mean I..." Breathing quickens, as flames sear over his features. He groans in frustration, eyes glaring down at himself. Sensitive eyes well up again before disappearing into a comforting neck.
Why can't I just say it?
"Shhh..." Subaru coos, lovingly stroking a hand up and down the other's arm. "Take as long as you need." Kamui nods into the other. Comforting hands caressed and lips pressed all along the trembling face. Well, everywhere but where Kamui craved them the most.
A sleek chin rests itself on top of Kamui's head. Their bodies snuggle as close as humanly possible, far more than they'd ever sought out from another.
The raven-head of hair buried itself further into the other's neck and shoulder. That juncture seemed to fit him perfectly, arms keeping him in place, feel a little more possessive than usual. There's that sense he's being locked away in his sanctuary, hidden from the rest of the world.
Kamui isn't sure whether to laugh or cry. He's tucked deeply into his 'security blanket' and likes the unwavering hold. His body is pressed so intimately close.
"I don't even know why I can't say it…" Kamui openly sulks. Gentle fingers curl under the silky hair at the back of his head. The tips of those fingers massage up and down the sensitive skin at the back of Kamui's neck making him let out a soft whimper. A single leg bends and lifts a bit, brushing subconsciously against Subaru's longer legs.
Kamui can't restrain the mewls and cries feeling a hand at the back of his head. His brain goes foggy, losing sight of exactly where he was and what he should be doing.
"K-Kamui," Subaru attempts to protest, keeping himself in check. Pleasurable shivers course through the taller male as Kamui loses himself. He nuzzles his nose into the crook of an equally sensitive neck. There's a certain satisfying warmth the burrows in his core.
Daring, and very caught up in the moment, Kamui continues to nestle his face deeper. His face buries further and further within that sensitive juncture. Soft groans and gasps escape, pushing Kamui further, making him lose himself in the process. The intoxicating scent of the older male floods his senses like nothing he could get from their bedsheets or his clothing alone.
Bubble-gum pink lips accidentally and barely brush the sensitive man's neck. The touch is barely there. Still, it's from Kamui so it's more than enough. It stirs an unrestrained and heated reaction. Subaru's fingers curl in deep and tightly squeeze the side of Kamui's hip. The latter let out a surprised, and very audible moan.
Oh god! Kamui curses himself. The smaller male quickly wriggles out from the hold, seeing beet-red cheeks that can't but much different than his own.
Their eyes meet, longing for each other, yet burning a bit too deep. "I'm so sorry," Kamui groans, hiding his face in his hands. He bends over his lap. A gentle hand rubs his back.
"You-you don't need to be sorry at all!" Subaru refutes, flustering, and cursing the heat coiling up in his stomach even now. "If anything I should be! Really! I don't know what's wrong with me today! I promise I'll keep myself in check, so please…" The loving hand rubbing circles on Kamui's back is lifted as he sits back up.
"You don't need to be sorry," Kamui says, cupping the flushed cheek. "If you've done something wrong I'm equally guilty. I'm so bad at this.." He berated himself.
"No, you're not," Subaru tells him with assurance. "I didn't mind that at all…"
"You…" Kamui blushes a darker shade of crimson. His knees quake, bumping into each other. Hee turns his hips away, not needing to fall under the other's spell right now.
"I've well said it before but..." Subaru attempts to cool his head, clearing his throat. "I've wanted to tell you things...for a while now…"
Kamui looks up curiously, partially expected. Violet-blue eyes soften a bit charmed by the shy and honest demeanor. There's still a feeling of frustration and embarrassment clearly feeling whatever it was they had started.
"I've been scared I'd lose you, and I couldn't chance it before," Subaru admits, voice cracking along the way. There's a glaze of emotions trembling up in gold and emerald eyes.
"You'll never lose me Subaru," Kamui vows, holding his hand tightly over the other. The younger male leans to the side, resting his head on the other's arm. "I've lost so much already-I wouldn't be alright, if that happened with you too."
"You won't," Subaru insists quickly. His arm surrounds Kamui's shoulders, and he pecks the crown of his head. "Not ever."
"I've had all this planned…" Kamui groans a bit, feeling his face shy away from the intense gaze on him. There's a worry he'll completely surrender and come under those passionate eyes. "Yet, I don't even know what I'm doing now that I'm here…"
"I could take a guess…" Subaru says lightly. He pets the top of Kamui's head, relieved to see watery violet-eyes turning back to him. "But I don't want to be presumptuous, and assume it's what I want to hear."
Kamui cuddles up close. His head is guided to rest on the other's chest. The strong and steady-heartbeat keeps him grounded. There was still that fear...even if things seemed to fit so well, it didn't mean their wants would align perfectly. Nor was there a guarantee his words, feelings wouldn't come off too intense.
Three simple little words. That's all he had to voice, but...the undeniable truth things would change from here was frightening.
"But just know," Subaru professes, breath tickling Kamui's lips. Their foreheads kiss again, noses brush. The pair of gold-emerald and violet-blue orbs close softly. "There's nothing you could say or do that would make me even consider leaving your side. Not ever. You can tell me anything."
Heartstrings are wrenched and with no warning. Kamui clutches a hand to his chest, looking to see nothing but honesty and devotion, in watery orbs. "I...I will tell you," Kamui decides. He knew he would.
This should have been simple, but maybe it's because those feelings ran so deep, it became more complex. And as Kamui looks around, the garden area feels suspiciously empty and quiet.
Still, there are the nerves of a change if he didn't get it out soon. As private as this environment looked, it wasn't as though they could stay here indefinitely. Kamui swears he hears some giggling from outside. There were surely other students waiting with patience for them. The thought that someone may have walked by and seen them, made Kamui flush.
"I feel bad...but I might need a little more time…" Kamui confesses, pain coursing through his chest. Violet-blue eyes glisten, entirely apologetic. They're met with nothing but tender and patient eyes.
"As long as you need," Subaru assures and hugs Kamui close. If it's for you, I can wait a lifetime. If those words wouldn't come out on their own, maybe it was time he made things clear between them.
"You're so kind, Subaru…" Kamui sighs and nuzzles his cheek upon the broad shoulder.
"Just…" Kamui exhales softly, their hands hold each other. Subaru is suddenly supplied with his arms full of an amorous Kamui. For the first time, on purpose, the smaller male lifts himself, shifting up to his knees. His legs part just enough to straddle longer ones as Kamui perches himself comfortably upon the other. Their chests brush before melting together. "A little longer."
Coming home.
Silky blue-black locks of hair are ruffled up by a warm towel. Clean and refreshed in silky lilac pajamas. Kamui studied himself, looking at his pink cheeks, and distressed eyes.
Take two? Kamui mentally comments on his own throbbing heartache. Even spending time alone, being bare, and soaking in the luxurious bath hadn't calmed him completely. Today was supposed to be the day.
Subaru had even given him an opening. It's not that Kamui didn't believe the words either. Subaru would never leave. Never disappear again or lock his heart away. If he said it, It was the truth.
His stomach had been doing backflips the rest of the day, leaving his mind in the clouds. Still, he walks up the staircase, towel fully drying off.
Kamui processes, looking to see a pretty face half-buried in a thick white book with a cross and several colored elemental symbols. Subaru senses the other's presence easily as Kamui hesitates by the threshold. The older man looks so focused there's a chance Kamui could sneak back down the stairs to catch his breath again.
"Come in, Kamui," Subaru senses him, not needing to look up. Kamui gulps seeing him beckoning with a single finger.
"Okay," Kamui agrees and walks into the welcoming environment. There's a moment of resistance before he nods to himself and steps over. Subaru frowns though it's missed by Kamui. The young man is far too entranced by the carpeting beneath his feet.
Thoughts running a million miles a minute. He walks past the side of the bed Subaru had been sitting upon, and space he patted, incredibly close. Kamui takes his seat on the opposite end of the bed, his back facing the other.
Subaru's pale lips puff out to a rare pout. Leave it to Kamui to bring him to this state. He lightly tossed the book on the nightstand.
Kamui sighs again, he takes a seat on the opposite side of the bed. It's too far for either of their likings.
There's some irony he was sitting on Subaru's side of the bed anyway. Although, Kamui made himself comfortable invading and welcomed to snuggle up anywhere, and on any side, he pleased while they slept.
Subaru turns trying to catch a glimpse of Kamui's face. There's a sense of awe to see that simple lilac rose rolled between Kamui's fingers.
Kamui cradled it as something fragile yet precious. The shyer male scoots back up to fully sit on the bed. He curls his knees up to his chest and gives onto the to hand grasping to his own. Their backs touch.
"I…" Kamui begins feeling a hand link with his own. The older male waited patiently, sitting beside him. "Wasn't able to say it earlier…"
"Ah." And it clicks. It's been on Kamui's mind as well.
"I thought maybe I could say it like this…" Kamui voices, a little bittersweet. His heartbeat drums almost painful, especially feeling another handhold his. The lilac rose drops somewhere on their bed. There's a cherished moment, something feeling natural, almost familiar when Kamui's hands are covered and pressed to the bed.
They stay in relative silence for a few moments.
"Does it help?" Subaru says breaking the silence.
"I don't know though…" Kamui turns slightly and is met with entrancing and passionate eyes. "Still so nervous..." He feels them bore into him.
"That's alright," Subaru reassures. "It's as I told you before, you can take as much time as you need."
Kamui seemed a bit worried. Averting eyes were worrisome. It was one thing when it was a bit more hesitant and shy. Honestly, it was incredibly alluring to lovesick eyes. Though it's another seeing shivering fear in Kamui's eyes.
"But of course, I'm here to listen now and whenever you need to," Subaru ensures and turns to face Kamui. Hands clasp both of Kamui's cheeks making their eyes meet and meld.
"Perhaps…" Subaru begins, pressure boiling up. Kamui is turned, guided by welcoming arms at his waist, hands careful not to touch his sensitive hips like before. Certainly not like that. Not yet.
"Perhaps?" Kamui repeats, curious and cautious.
"Come here, Kamui," Subaru calls to him. Vulnerability settles in as the arm guides him closer and closer.
Sparkling violet-blue eyes enchant, keeping him under a spell. Plush yet dry lips are subconsciously licked by the alluring request.
The angelic smile never fails to steal Kamui's breath. He gasps, pulled and lifted until they're brought to their usual closeness. The younger male hums for a second, looking down and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.
Subaru follows the movement, their sides kiss together. "Perhaps, I should have told you this sooner," He admits with pangs of guilt and sadness.
"I've been terrified…" Subaru admits, nervously laughing. Violet-blue eyes widen considerably, looking up at the exposing admission.
"Why?" Kamui questions, searching for answers with shivering eyes. Gold and emerald threaten to swallow him completely, but Kamui accepts this. The need to comfort, fall deep into that abyss feel one and the same now.
"It's close to what you said earlier… Your worries," He words it carefully. Kamui's warm hand squeezes his tight, wanting.
Kamui's fingers curl in, brushing up and down elegant cheekbones. Imploring violet eyes moved to beg the quieting man to go on.
"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," Subaru says, swallowing hard. Legs tremble and shake beside smaller hips. A gentle, smaller squeeze Subaru's assuringly.
"You won't," Kamui vows, deeply, sincerely. Subaru releases a gentle gasp feeling kisses up and down the watering cheeks. Pain surges at the sight of flooding emotions but there's a sense of urgency and need for these words to finally come out.
"I've lost Hokuto… Seishirou," Subaru laments, lips barely breaking out the latter. So I can't survive losing another. His grip on Kamui clenches further, as though loosening a second may let his light slip away.
"I know…" Kamui whispers gently. He turns his hips a bit and leans in from a different angle. The shift makes him blush, despite initiating it but Kamui presses his body up against the trembling man's arm.
This the closest he can go to voicing- You can have all of me. I'm not going anywhere. A soft raven-head buries his face upon Subaru's shoulder, lavishing little shy-light kisses there.
"I...I...I loved them both more than anything," Subaru professes, as he did that fateful day, entering Kamui's consciousness. Two people, I love more than anything. There was never an intention for his heart opening to a third.
"Your heart's always been just so tender...and kind," Kamui tells him, guides the taller man to rest his head on top of his.
There was never an intention for his heart to start beating again, for another, more than it's ever done.
"For the longest time, I thought I'd never be attached again, or care even if I left everyone behind," Subaru admits, biting his lip. There's tension in the way Kamui holds his hand and loosens, knowing all too well, if he had left it up to Subaru, on that bridge...well he didn't want to think about it.
"But I was so so...wrong," Subaru fully admits to his fault. "Things change…" Even if it's the last thing we want at the time.
"Subaru?" Kamui glances up, worries, eyes shiver. Hot painful tears land on top of his head.
"I won't make those same mistakes, Kamui," Subaru vows, eyes full of conviction.
"What do you mean?" Kamui hopes for clarification. He was only embraced tighter, kept protective, safe, and from moving an inch. "S-Subaru?"
Arms can only tighten, pulling deeper, leaving their owner to fall harder by each passing heartbeat.
"If I'm wrong," Subaru goes on vocalizing his train of thought. "Then I'll relent, we can go back...I think I can…" He stops. "No, I'll do whatever I need to if it means keeping you here." He argues with himself, further drawing concern and pain in glossy violet eyes.
"I don't understand…" Kamui murmurs. A small hand takes the shaking hand at his waist and holds it up. Fingers are splayed flat over Kamui's throbbing chest. "But I am here, with you," Kamui assures with a breath. "Because I want to be. Always."
Subaru's lips purse close, uncertain whether to bridge that gap. Gold and emerald eyes hone in on the hand over his own. They close, and Subaru feels the touch senses those heartbeats, playing on like a private melody only he was allowed to hear.
"Kamui…" Subaru professes, taking long and shuddering breaths. The hand over Subaru's is taken captive guided over his chest, leaving them even. Kamui's lips curl a feeling that causes heart pattering.
"I told you earlier when you first came to live with me, you've saved me. That day, I was so incredibly happy…" Subaru shakes his head fondly, and leans down. Lips kiss Kamui's eyelids, temples, nose, cheeks, and right at the corner of long sought after lips.
"I'd given up on feeling...but you...you," Subaru caresses, peppering kisses all along the flustered face.
"You my Kamui. You were the one." Kamui's jawline is met with slow, innocent kisses. Lips linger upon the milky-white shoulder.
"And Hokuto, my sweet elder sister, she's always been the one, having to help me, wake me up and realize what's been inside my heart. And what I want to protect more than anything in this world."
Oh...oh this was...definitely… Kamui's eyes widen body shivering in protective arms. He could feel steam coming out of his ears. There surely wasn't a patch of skin that hadn't burned up. The pale face threatens to stain red and deepen with every press of lips.
"You're the reason I came back, Kamui," Subaru proceeds to confess, pulse racing. He steals both of Kamui's hands. Larger hands encase Kamui's. Palms are turned and press into each other. Subaru guides their temples to kiss, as they'd done naturally countless times.
"The first thing my heart could see, when I came to, were these gorgeous violet-eyes," Subaru confesses, intentions entirely raw and open as he moves closer. There wasn't a chance for a 'friendly' interpretation, and it flooded Kamui with relief.
"I could look into them for a lifetime, and never once want to find my way out," Subaru boldly tells his love. Violet-blue eyes raise wildly. Kamui's certain his heartbeat is loud enough to reverberate throughout the room.
"S-Subaru?" Kamui cries out his name, blushing madly, profusely. His breath hitches at the tease of lips beside his neck before they retreat.
"If you hate this...If I'm wrong… forgive me, I won't do this again, but please...just once..." Subaru's eyes overwhelm, flood with emotion, pain, fear, need, hope, and more than anything an unbridled emotion.
Kamui mewls, feeling his hands pinned down to his sides. The warm, larger figure descends upon him. Their bodies kiss, melting upon each other.
"Kamui…" Subaru speaks, lips descending closer, and closer. Their eyes close instinctively, Kamui surrenders to the feeling. Finally.
"I love you," Subaru confesses, words feeling as freeing as they are daunting.
Tender, longing, lips brush, finally, entirely embracing. Finally. Their kiss is chaste, lips closed but linger. Subaru ensures to kiss his beloved square on the mouth. Larger and thinner lips seal over plush pink with ease. There couldn't be a millimeter or them left unclaimed, unkissed.
Racing heartbeats compete with one another, as hearts scream to be free from their bindings, to become one with their counterpart.
Two pairs of loved-up lips only part for only a second before sealing back together. This time the touch lingers longer, Kamui has a sense of self enough to fully kiss back. The taste of salty tears slipped down between their lips. Kamui's heart clenches at the feel and taste. Violet-blue eyes open in a daze and see his precious person, eyes closed and flowing with emotion.
"Subaru," Kamui breathes against loving and rather talented lips. Their lips press for the third time, then fourth, fifth and it becomes ludicrous to try and keep count. Loving lips meld and melt equally into the tender touch. The two are left breathless from innocent yet hardening kisses.
"Kamui…" Subaru calls to him, unknowing or caring for his own tearing eyes. Violet-blue eyes shiver, Kamui feels his hands given a bit of leeway to finally move up. His hands clench over strong shoulder blades, keeping him grounded. A shy smile forms over Kamui's lips, seeing patient, vulnerable eyes. "Was that...okay?"
Kamui fights the urge to vocalize the 'aw' from his lips. "More than okay..." Kamui answers in a daze. He leans up enough to peck loving lips because they can do that now. As much as they wanted...
"I love you too, Subaru," Kamui confesses the feeling whisper-soft. Love-fueled violet eyes entrance gold and emerald. Kamui about to lean in for another light kiss, before feeling his hands under his hips lifting him.
"Suba-ahh!" Kamui cries out, his sense of gravity stolen. There are loving and insistent hands that hold him with just the right blend between gentle and intense. The feeling of dizziness spreads, his body lightly deposited to lie vertically. Kamui's back sinks into the mattress. A messy raven head falls to the pillows.
Strong arms follow up, with gentle hands to either side of Kamui's face. There's a deep intensity in dual-hued eyes, hot unbridled, and entirely claiming. Kamui caves, a little too weak, and a bit too happy to even consider protesting.
Passionate lips take Kamui's breath away again. Their lips still closed, but there's a deeper, and harder press into the kiss. Head a little dizzy from the sudden movement, Kamui lets his recent lover lead the kiss.
The need to become closer and closer does take over, as does reciprocation. Hands slip down a strong back, fingers dipping and caressing the lean muscles beneath.
Subaru lets out an unrestrained moan, feeling Kamui's legs lifting and wrapping around his waist. Kisses follow up, a little harder, needier as the feeling of their bodies linking and fitting all too perfectly.
"Haa...haaa...Subaru?" Kamui asks, lips freed for a second before being claimed all over again. The younger male moves to match the pace, the intensity of their lips clashing.
The feeling of a slick tongue slipping out and gently licking at Kamui's lip adds a bit too much heat to the mix. Kamui comes too. The tiniest bit of his tongue and he was already burning up like this. Mind already a dizzied mess, Kamui's hand clenched the back of the older male's shirt. Entirely flustered, Kamui catches his breath.
"Subaru, please, w-wait a minute." The timid request breaks through the fog of love and desire taking over. A close-mouthed kiss soothes needy lips, to more calming touches.
Emotional and hazy lust-filled eyes, clear, shivering. They widen with deep shame, regret, and a bit of fear.
"Of course!" Subaru suddenly jolts back up, finally gathering his sense of self. He guides Kamui with him. Careful hands smooth down the wrinkles on lilac pajamas. "Oh god, I'm so sorry-Kamui," He offers the words apologetic, guilty, and honestly.
"It...it's nothing bad," Kamui soothes, still a little breathless. His love looks a little too much like a hurt puppy. Small hands stroke through silky hair on the taller head.
Kamui steals another closed-mouth kiss, losing track of how many times that simple press of lips could leave his heart still so full. "I need some time...and to ha...catch my breath," Kamui further elaborates, cheeks burning up quite a bit.
"B-but went overboard. I barely even let you speak before I-" Subaru looks at his hands in horror. Kamui doesn't allow self-deprecation. His lips are full of Kamui's warmth.
"It's alright," Kamui assures, a little weak, and dazed. "You...didn't do anything wrong..." He continues. Cheeks flare-up, still feeling the rush of being lifted and deposited on their bed so suddenly. "Nothing...I didn't like…"
"I went on without asking your permission," Subaru laments, guilt watering up in his eyes. "I never wanted to make you uncomfortable like that."
"It wasn't like that," Kamui shakes his head. Hands cradle, tender cheeks. Arms and legs surround the emotionally-fragile man's figure, guiding them back. "I liked it…" Kamui pauses again, likes the feeling of the older man gasping as their bodies get back to a compromising position.
"For the record…" Kamui flushes, looking away for a moment of reprieve. "You can always k-kiss me."
Kissing deeper though..."I think my heart needs some time to catch up," Kamui professes, not at all a lie. Somehow, admitting a blatant, "You turned me on like crazy and I wasn't ready to come undone," didn't seem as helpful. One day, sure, but not this soon.
"I understand," Subaru complies, sorrow on his lips. Kamui's fingers brush over the frown. An ache in the younger male's chest stings, seeing Subaru turn his face away. The younger male openly pouts, feeling the guilt-ridden man sitting back up, holding his face in his hands.
"I'm being honest," Kamui is quick to wrap his arms around his potential boyfriend's shoulders. "I didn't dislike any of that...and in the future…" He takes a breath, was he really going to admit to this. But seeing Subaru this at odds with himself, hurt more than his own embarrassment. "I'd really like to continue from there." Surely, his face can't burn any hotter than at this moment.
Subaru turns back to Kamui, a little surprised, a bit speechless at the assuring yet seductive words. "Kamui…"
"I'm taking it all in," Kamui hums and nuzzles his head into the side of the other's neck. His hands cup both cheeks lovingly. "You really love me?" Kamui says, both fully finding the answer in glossy eyes. I'm not dreaming, right?
"More than anything," Subaru responds, without a heartbeat's hesitation. "I really do…"
Kamui beams at that and places tender kisses up and down the man's cheeks. "I love you so much. I want to always be with you, Subaru."
"I do too...honestly. And-and it's not just a physical thing.. before- I did that I was-"
"Shh, I know," Kamui shushes, the other sweetly.
"More than anything, I want to be a part of your heart."
Kamui burns deeper, at the clear declaration. His smile shifts, turning a bit shyer. "You already are…" He gently cuddles up against the taller man's back, hugging him from behind. A chin rests on a comforting shoulder. "I'm yours."
"Saying that," Subaru murmurs, not entirely convinced it's not a fantasy. That goes especially so while feeling tender lips, kiss all along his face. "You should know...I won't be able to let you go...I can't…"
"Then don't," Kamui returns, ignoring his pounding heart and heat coiling up at the words. He shouldn't be this reactive to a few possessive words, but he is. "I'll return the favor," Kamui promises, kindly, with a loving smile that makes the pining man fall deeper.
Subaru grasps for Kamui's hand. He places gentle kisses upon it, though they linger a bit more, press a bit deeper. Kamui feels it, flushing and burning up, he has to fight to keep his senses going.
"I want to do this properly," Subaru admits. His lips form to a bit of a sardonic smile, berating himself. "Not like I'm starting things out so well at all."
"Aw...but-" Kamui coos, gently, hushing the older man's name. "Subaru~" He hugs him close, slipping back against the mattress and tugging his love along with him. "Please, don't be so hard on yourself."
Kamui falls back against the bed again, his head hitting the pillow. Subaru reluctantly complies with the hand on his wrist, guiding him down. They cuddle close, Kamui turns on his side. Subaru keeps himself more distant than normal, leading the one he loves to pout. "You haven't done anything wrong, I promise."
There's only clarity reflecting in vulnerable violet-blue orbs. Subaru breath follows, elongated.
"Alright then from now on…"
Kamui's gaze lingers on him, eyes brightening and pulling the other deeper. There's no chance in heaven or hell, he can do anything but surrender, to those adoring upturned lips.
"I promise I will do things properly," Subaru vows, clutching Kamui's hand again and pulling them upon his chest, above his racing heart. "You deserve no less."
Kamui's shy blushes do everything to console Subaru's heart. There's a sense of pride seeing that flush stain, and paint deeper into ethereal cheeks. Violet-blue eyes try to avert from the intensity of the gaze boring into them, but they're not allowed. Subaru's hand firmly grasps Kamui's chin, making their vulnerable eyes meet again.
"I want to take you out on proper dates," Subaru continues, sealing their lips for a chaste kiss.
Kamui's lips quirk a little wryly.
"What?" Subaru blinks.
"It kinda feels like we've been doing that…" Kamui admits, sheepish, rubbing at his arm.
The two dive into each other's eyes. Recollections of their past outings, holding-hands, cuddling close and indulging in the other's warmth come to mind. That picnic, times going out for dinner, even going on mundane errands felt a bit more intimate...being just the two of them.
The pair hold matching, smiles, and equally bashful glances. There is some relief when Kamui can see the normally calm man flush as wildly as he does. "But I ah...really do want to go out with you, and be closer."
The sweet, vocal response earns Kamui a kiss on his forehead. "Then we'll do just that," Subaru says, surprised he's managed to make it this far. Kamui's sweet, plush lips are far too close and tender to ignore. Keeping the motion sweet, chaste, and closed is hard, but it's a necessity now.
Kamui finds himself guided back against the pillows, eyes falling close. Dark full eyelashes unintentional bat and seduce hopelessly entranced eyes. Subaru falls back against the sheets, turning to his side, and sealing their lips delicately, savoring the innocent touch.
Legs entwine sweetly before their lips can part. Kamui closes his arms around the taller man's chest. He steals a few more sweet kisses, before hiding his overheated face into a welcoming chest. Subaru chuckles softly, at this, lingering on the feeling of their bodies pressing close, intimate.
It was hard not to be on cloud nine. It still felt quite like a dream. Dreams and wishes had never panned out for Subaru before, not as planned.
Hands carded their way down messy raven hair, following up with little mewls and breaths. But he'd do anything to make this dream reality, even if it meant changing fate itself. He'd never let Kamui go.
Loving violet-blue orbs trembled with a certain emotion, studying the older man's serious expression.
"I love you," Kamui whispers tenderly, relieved to see curling lips at his profession.
"I love you too," Subaru returns with profound fondness. "I adore you…"
Violet-blue falls into emerald and gold, both become helpless to do anything but surrender. Tiny little kisses follow they cuddle up preparing for a seldom, much-needed peaceful slumber.
~~~LOVE! End~~~~
Happy Valentine's Day my loves. I hope you can have a good weekend/day! I thought over this chapter/confession scene like a million different times and different ways, before picking this one out. I'm wanting these two to be happy and enjoy the growth of their relationship step by step. There will always be worries, and pain from the past, but together these two will get through it.