Chapter 6. Xenia Verdi.

She was feeling well, full of life and energy. She felt an urge to act, to help someone, to talk to people. Even though she knew full well where all that came from…

She wanted to fill the seven months that separated her from the green-eyed boy, so much a part of her already. To keep busy, both for herself and for James, who stood before her, staring at her intently, as though sensing what she was about to tell him.

She'd been delaying this moment – she was so loath to cause him pain, especially now, when the worst was behind them, when he simply needed to eat and sleep. If only she could do that, to make his blissful ignorance last.

But she couldn't. She loved him too much, and she sensed too well the new feeling that had been growing inside his soul – always so open and laid bare for her. And this feeling of his – tenuous but exciting – she could not ignore that. She could not ignore the memories of his laying his large hand on her still flat stomach and smiling timidly, as though speaking wordlessly to the baby and embarrassed by it. She couldn't chase away the thoughts of how he'd been trying to get her to eat more, to rest more, how he was extra gentle with her, as he held her in his, a little awkward, embrace of an athlete…

"Why are you smiling?"

Xenia smoothed down his mussed hair, with a flitting petty thought of delaying the conversation for a little bit longer, just long enough for him to take a shower, to eat, and to have a nap. It would make it easier for him to take the news.

But no, she could delay any longer – there was too much hope in his eyes, the new feeling in his heart much more tangible now. She knew that she had it, too, but it was easier for her – because of the memory of the green-eyed little boy.

"What's wrong, Xenia?"

He must have caught the change of expression in her face or felt her tense up as she prepared to deliver her painful news.

"Are you feeling ill? Are you in pain? Shall I summon someone?"

"No, don't worry," she traced her fingers down his exhausted, pale face. "It's just… I need to tell you something and I don't know how…"

"Something… bad?" he winced, but unconsciously pressed his cheek against her hand. A glimmer of intuition – or understanding – flashed in his warm brown eyes and vanished. Of course, he would believe until the last moment, until she told him herself.

"I wouldn't call it bad, exactly," perhaps for the first time in all their time together, the girl could not find the words to comfort her husband. "Rather, temporarily painful…"

"Xenia, stop treating me like a child who needs everything sugarcoated for him," James said impatiently, his eyebrows knitting together. "If there is something bad that you need to share with me, then out with it. I don't want you to bear it alone."

She was momentarily taken aback: she heard something very unusual in her husband's voice. Was this the man she was trying to protect and defend to the best of her abilities?

"Is this about… the baby?" James forced out quietly, his eyes glued to her face. She wanted to put her arms around him and weep, feeling very weak and vulnerable. How silly…

She nodded slowly, staring into his pale, drawn face as it was slowly wiped clean of all emotion. It was as though a mask hid the beloved features under the pretense of indifference, so very far from what he was really feeling.

Where did this come from? He could never hide his emotions like this. He always reacted immediately, sincerely. This was not like James, more like Scorpius.

Xenia focused on his true feelings and realized that, inside, he was knotted with pain, that new feeling that had been growing inside her husband about to explode in a surge of panic. And his face betrayed nothing but a slight disturbance… as though he was trying to protect her, first and foremost…

"Jim…"

"How are you? How are you feeling? Are you in pain? We need to have Theo check you out."

"Jim," she covered his mouth with her palm, halting him. "Jim…"

"Are you alright?" he nearly whispered, the mask of indifference replaced by worry. "Xenia, tell me that you are okay, that…!"

"Everything is fine," she hugged him, leaning in a little to kiss his hallowed cheek. "I…"

"Are you sure? What if you… what if he… you might never be able to…" a new surge of his fright nearly put Xenia in a panic – for him. He couldn't say it out loud – that she'd lost the baby – but the girl knew that there was no need. Even without verbal confirmation James was almost in shock as it was, despite doing a good job of hiding it.

"Calm down," she gazed directly into his wide eyes. My darling, you never even got to see the baby, and you already loved it so. "He will come back to us, very soon…"

The eyebrows knitted together, but Xenia knew – felt – the immense effort it took him to keep his raging feelings from bursting forth.

Worry. Disappointment. Pain. Fear – for her.

"You believe me, don't you?" she spoke quietly. "I know for sure that he is not gone from us forever. Just trust me – less than a year from now you will again be putting your hand on my belly."

He nodded, somewhat mechanically, beginning to shake a little.

"Jim…"

"If he wasn't dead, I would kill him with my own hands…"

"Whom?"

"Devereaux, Flint, what's-his-name!" Potter hissed, clenching his fists. It must be easier for him to process it like this – by turning grief into anger. "I would kill him for you and for Lily. And for, for…"

"… our son," Xenia supplied, once again putting her lips to his face. "He will have your hair and your father's eyes."

"And Al's sweet tooth?" James' body began to relax, although the pain in his soul kept Xenia from loosening her arms around him.

"Jim… I…"

"You spoke to him, didn't you? Somehow, inside, right?"

Xenia nodded, smiling a little.

"He said that he loves you. And that he would return to us… Soon."

James blinked.

"How soon?"

"In seven months."

"Then we have a little time…"

"Time for what?" she also began to relax slowly, sensing that the painful shock in her husband's soul was subsiding.

"To pick a name," James smirked sadly, burying his tired face in her shoulder. "I am so sorry, Xenie…"

"Me, too, darling," she stroked his hair, letting her eyes flutter shut, feeling tears spring up in them for the first time in the last few, excruciating days.

I hope that Malfoy, at least, will succeed in bringing Lily back to her senses," James muttered. "Something must remain the same…"

"He will; it is Malfoy we are talking about, after all. Let's go, we need to let the Healer know that Lily will be absent for a little while."

Potter snorted, and Xenia took his hot hand, pulling him out of the now empty room.

"And afterwards, I'll take you home, feed you, and put you to bed," the girl continued, leading him down the hospital corridors.

"I shan't sleep until I hear about Lily," James said stubbornly, stumbling. Shock and pain slowly subsided, the waves of worry and disappointment rocked him, and he began to feel fatigue.

Xenia merely laughed, leaning him against the wall next to the doctor's lounge.

"Don't fall, I'll only be a moment."

The girl entered the lounge, but didn't see Lily's Healer there. I wonder what he'd say, should he learn of the highly experimental treatment Scorpius Malfoy proposed for his patient? Although Xenia did not know what it involved, she had an inkling that it would be very far removed from traditional healing. Oh well, as long as it worked…

The front-desk receptionist from the first floor looked in.

"No one here?" she asked, disappointed, looking at Xenia who was taking off her coat.

"Is something the matter?"

"An emergency call, and I cannot find any healers on duty," the witch twittered, gripping a piece of parchment.

"What is it?"

"It is from the Zabini residence; the parents are in a panic – something terrible is happening to their daughter."

"Priscilla?"

"I think so…"

"I'll take it," Xenia decided at once, taking the parchment from the witch.

"But…? Your husband is asleep in the doorway," the woman suppressed a smile.

"Oh… Can you put him up somewhere, while I am gone?" Xenia took a fresh yellow coat.

"Yes, of course," the witch took out her wand.

"Thank you," and Xenia walked straight to the fireplace, to save time. She remembered her promise to Priscilla. If she could help, she must do so. Yes, Priscilla claimed that this was beyond Xenia, but she had to at least try.

She couldn't stand by and watch death claim another victory.