Chapter 17: Carnation
Floriography with Carnations can vary and with color. They are really beautiful flowers~. Red carnations in particular represent feelings of love from afar, admiration, missing you, along with pure and ardent love, etc. So that was the naming inspiration here.
Summary: A short while after Kamui's Birthday, heading into the end of Summer. Subaru and Kamui, stock up on affection. This seems necessary as they find themselves with a temporary parting, lasting just under a week. Subaru is kept away from his work (very reluctantly going), leaving both Kamui and himself longing. Curious, and worried, Sumeragi takes advantage of his own clan's archives to understand a bit more about his lover's family history. There's some light drama/angst which seems inevitable for these two. But their love will remain much stronger!
~Partings~
Time moves far too quickly. While not as detrimental as past events, 'that week' was now fast approaching. Two elegant young men are intertwined. The sound of the television remains purely background noise. The sound of each other's voice and the taste of sweet lips is far sweeter and more yearned for than anything else. They were lost canoodling, lying on their sides.
Draped longingly, over his source of warmth, is a trouble love-sick teenager. The top of his foot keeps moving, to brush up and down the taller male's legs. As though he actually needed to do such a thing to keep attention and affection going.
Despite knowing it's a bad idea, he can't help but entertain it. Teasingly, Kamui shifts his knee to brush between his lover's legs, with dazzling lights in violet-eyes.
Subaru's tender hand leaves Kamui's waist to grab old of the mischievous and all too seductive legs.
"Kamui...we can't right now..." Subaru says, regrettably wincing, feeling the pained whispers which followed. Kamui looked away, eyes shivering like a saddened puppy. "I'm sorry...It's just the car will be here any minute..."
"I know..."
"Trust me...I want to more than anything..."
"You're not in the wrong...I know your works need you soon..."
"Way too soon..." Kamui huffs, a bit dramatic, as he clutches to his source of security for as long as possible. He knew he wasn't being fair. "I know that..." The week in which those high up and of course current Sumeragi leaders needed to gather, discussing just everything that needed to be after the promised year.
"Sorry..." Kamui murmurs the apology. "I know I'm just being unfair..."
"I'm the one who feels like apologizing to you," Subaru cups a hand under his boyfriend's chin. "I want you to feel free anything and everything your heart desires. It's only the timing..." The older lover presses upon those soft lips with his own. "I want you. Incredibly."
Any moment, a private car would as coming soon to pick up the esteemed leader from his home. There was rarely time for rest. This also meant a temporary separation between the two lovers. Days apart...without touching, kissing...
Kamui doesn't make an effort to move because well...there's nothing quite like the feeling of being held. This goes especially with Subaru had no qualms about his boyfriend being extra affectionate and cuddling. So long as it keeps from becoming too heated. This morning left Subaru's emotions reeling, his favorite person was (adorably) clutching tight to his clothes.
"Will you really be alright?" Subaru voices, tone lingering and pained. His eyes are reluctant to leave the couch, that the past few hours had been their love-nest. A nest to stock up on their love, before fated duties came to take the Sumeragi head outside.
"Mn…." Kamui doesn't look up, feeling childish but not quitting to rest in his lover's, drawing in his scent. A scent that had recently come out sweeter, lacking the usual strong smoke-filled aroma. Something, that Kamui was more than alright missing.
"I'll be alright...and I understand you're needed ..." Kamui finally expresses. Bubblegum pink lips curve to form a bittersweet smile. He presses a soft kiss upon the much-needed Onmyouji's neck. Violet-blue eyes peer up, to see shivering dual-hued eyes that hold far too much pain.
"When you need me, that will always take priority." Subaru ensures, tangling his fingers into soft blue-black locks. Their eyes fall hopelessly for each other's charm. There's a lingering gaze following. Gold and emerald love on violet-blue, every gleam and shimmer, and pulls the pair under the abyss. They fall into the other's watery orbs in a way only lovers can.
Subaru's breath hitches, heart stammering, as he looks in further. There's something mystical, memorable with the way Kamui's eyes would shift or reveal a change in colors. The lighting above brings out bright traces of sky blue into his lover's irises. The surrounding beams of lilac only serve to make his lover's eyes that much more mystical.
Kamui stays equally entranced, at the way his beloved's gem-hued eyes light up, shimmering as the pair come closer together. The way they shimmer, makes him hold tighter to his precious person.
"I'll always need you..." Kamui explains, wrapping his arms snugly around his love's neck. His nimble fingers trace patterns at the back of his sweetheart's neck. Fingertips brush over the neatly trimmed raven hair. He continues, kissing and nuzzling on his way down from Subaru's neck. "And, I know you'll come home as soon as you can." Settling, he nuzzles his head, into the soft shirt over his boyfriend's chest.
"You're going... just for the five days, right?" Kamui questions, voice shaky and more than a little apprehensive. Though he understood, having to be apart this long was still...painful.
"I don't know if I'll keep my sanity otherwise," Subaru only half-jokes, with a strong glint of truth to it. He loves his family, but aside from his grandmother and late sister he'd never grown close to them. Others regarded the Sumeragi heir with deep respect and aw, but they never saw him for being simply Subaru. There was far more focus on Subaru for his spiritual gifts than himself as a person. Clan 'gatherings' were a stressor over life and more afterlife of countless lost souls from the past year.
Certainly, there was absolutely no one in the world that could make him feel as complete as he did now, besides Kamui. "I'll be needing to recharge on my Kamui time when I return." The aforementioned male licks his lips, laughing playfully.
"I'll be sure to help you with that," Kamui plays along, leaning up, and forward to sneak in a soft kiss. Then another. And another...until anything outside of this moment became inconsequential.
With every happy hum content sigh or pleased whimper, it gets harder to imagine parting again. Being away from Kamui was far too saddening. During the days they had their work and school routines but the nights were the hardest apart… He worked on keeping that to a minimum.
Even without nightmares involved, a night sleeping alone… hurt. There was a feeling of incompletion, a longing to return to each other's arms.
If Subaru was being fully honest, he was struggling with his longing to fully make love. Being one with Kamui and taking him completely. His hands subconsciously tightened at Kamui's waist. Kisses burned deeper.
Kamui's soft yet flirtatious actions of late were doing nothing but fueling the fire. Like right now, as Kamui pressed light kisses, soft like the brush of a butterfly's wings all across his jawline.
"You do have to leave today?" Kamui asks sadly, voice quieting with every little word.
"Unfortunately…" Subaru draws out with a pained elongated sigh. His hand gently brushes against Kamui's cheek. "I plan on coming back to you as soon as possible." Tender lips cry out the promise, as Subaru ravishes those all too seductive lips.
"And... I…" Subaru gasps. The lithe body before only cuddling him continues to writhe over his, more seductively. He feels his brain-frying, as his younger lover was either growing bolder or just subconsciously desiring to drive him to madness. And so soon...before he needed to leave.
"I… Kamui… I plan on…" Subaru meant to finish his thoughts. Yet, his lover all too eagerly returned the kiss. Beautiful orbs of violet-blue were closed, as their owner took in every kiss as deeply as possible.
"Hm~Subaru…" Kamui mewls softly against his boyfriend's lips. The seam of his lips is made to part once again, and happy cries escape as their dance of lips, and tongues continue in a lingering passionate dance.
Those all too perfect legs wrapping around his waist left all but his more…insatiable instincts. They wouldn't be able to kiss for the next few days and they did have at least a few more moments to indulge before he really needed to head out. But that was it...moments.
"I'll make it…" Subaru lowers his boyfriend to sit back on the couch. As soon as takes his own seat, he feels a very pert, soft bottom sitting dangerously close to his pelvic region. He grasps his younger lover's hips, moving them back a bit for his sanity.
"Up to you… " Subaru finally finishes, out of breath. They'd grown quite accustomed to this position during their make-out sessions. Fortunately, Kamui doesn't tease or press any further, not purposely, at least.
'Gods, Kamui you're so…' Thoughts flooded through the older lover's mind as he saw those soft legs part again. Kamui adjusts himself closer in his favorite 'seat', stopping as they are perfectly flushed against one another. There are no added brushes or slides of their hips. Their mouths taking control of each other's needs for affection.
A little abashed, the younger man does keep track of his own movements. He stops the movements on his hips, sitting more patiently. A more composed kiss follows up. "What do you mean?" Kamui's lips grace elegant cheeks.
The younger male was insanely gifted at driving his lover mad. He grasps to hold all too wonderful hands on his own, pinning them to the back of the couch.
"What do you mean?" Kamui had a teasing little smirk on his lips. It only increased as he saw a beautiful blush on his boyfriend's features.
"Subaru?" Kamui whispers against his love's ear ignoring his own pinkened cheeks in favor of his love's reactions. Embarrassing or not, there was something addicting about bringing such reactions from each other. Kamui's flustered form brought out something within the normally composed man.
"Wh-what ahhn~~" Kamui arches his back, feeling all too talented hands running up and down his sides. Lovingly, fingers trace all alongside the sensitive skin, up and under the young male's shirt. Just enough to feel velvety soft skin upon Kamui's lower back.
"Do you…" Kamui starts but feels the lips on his neck. He leans his head back, giving his boyfriend more access. "... Mean Subaru?" The younger one can't help the little gasps escaping, while eagerly, his Subaru everything. He shivers at the half growl his lover emits for his compliance. Kamui isn't sure whether to moan to laugh feeling his lover, licking a trail down a sensitive juncture in his neck.
'You're the one who was telling me we can't right now...' Kamui fondly rolls his eyes, before closing them. Though despite everything he found himself denying his lover nothing.
Kamui was becoming quite accustomed to how untamed his lover could be when he felt more comfortable. As he would express eagerness, surrendering or submitting to his boyfriend's advances that wild side came out more. Now, that Subaru was understanding these touches, were very much desired… he'd grown more daring, passionate. Unfortunately, it was still being held back...even while not on a time constraint.
"I want to reward you...do something for you when I come back."His older lover traces lines of kisses all across Kamui's neck, with his lips. "I feel bad enough having to leave like this…" That same line is followed by a warm tongue, drawing wet lines across heated skin.
"Ahh~ but...I- understand why you have to go…" Kamui whimpers, feeling teeth graze against overly sensitive skin. Kamui only desired to stay right here, the nips on his skin were far too intoxicating. He wished only to move further, allowing access to the one who held his heart as much as he wanted. "I'll be so happy when we reunite again…"
The gentle, and tender-hearted words, makes Subaru stop in his ministries. He beams, an angelic smile blooming on his lips. "I'll let you decide what you'd like as a reward," Subaru purrs the words against the sensitive skin. He keeps his hands from moving too curiously now. As much as he wants to go further… he would eventually have to get ready to leave.
Not before leaving Kamui with one more love bite. Having a mark on Kamui, a reminder of their love, even as they parted was a nice feeling. Even if it was covered by clothing or makeup…. Kamui would recall, feel how he was loved-on even while they're apart.
"By reward you mean...?" Kamui begins to be curious, mind going towards lewd interpretations immediately before feeling teeth teasing over a sensitive patch of skin. "You don't need to do anything more….for me." His toes curl as he cries out feeling a sharp bite that makes his toes curl. His older lover is careful not to bring out too much pain.
"I want you to decide on that, my Kamui," Subaru alludes, with a hint of mirth dancing in his eyes.
"All I need is to have you here," Kamui assures. Words so sincere and honest, go straight to Subaru's heart.
"And you are all I need," Subaru returns sweetly. The younger male shifts the holds between their hands. With a smile, he laces their hands together. Kamui is guided to rest further into the backrest by insistent hands. "I do really want to give you something when I return… take you somewhere new. "
"I really just want to be with you…" Kamui gives his boyfriend's countless assuring kisses. The curls of lips, from all those happy smiles, are enough to make him melt. If I had to pick something though...
They gradually slow to a few more moments of lighter time on the clock is not kind, only continuing to move forward tick by dreading tick. It's moments before the expected time the Sumeragi's private drivers were to come to retrieve their esteemed leader.
"Time to go?" Kamui murmurs, snuggling as close as possible, stocking up on his last seconds of Subaru time.
"Yeah….."Subaru breathes out sadly. He lies back against the couch. Kamui cuddles on top of him, both stay as intimate as they can. At least, before the inevitable,
Diiing-Dong. Ding-Dong.
"I'll miss you," Kamui mentions softly, burying his face in his love's shoulder.
"As will I. I will be back as soon as I possibly can." Subaru promises. Kamui nods, cuddling his love close only lifting off his love when he absolutely has to.
The driver was just doing their job but Kamui couldn't suppress the urge to growl at the door.
"Be safe," Kamui requests, sweetly, giving his love a softer kiss. They embrace, much tighter, and lingering more than usual.
"I will be," Subaru again promises, with every intent to keep it. "And next visit…" Gentle hands combed over to caress affection-filled cheeks. "You'll be coming with me."
"Mmn…" Kamui lets out a little embarrassed cry before leaning up on his tiptoes to savor a few more kisses. "I know…" He couldn't help the nerves coming through. "I love you."
"Love you too," Subaru breathes against tender lips. He keeps sugary-sweet lips busy with his languid, and lingering touches. "I'll be home as soon as possible."
"I know," Kamui trusts in his every word. He exhales, squeezing his boyfriend tightly one last time. Upon his tiptoes, he gives his boyfriend an incredibly languid, and memorable parting kiss. "I'll see you soon," Kamui chimes with as much positivity as he can manage.
The door closing creates an aching sensation into each of the lover's hearts...but...there's a feeling it will all be okay, they'd be back together and want each other even more with the time apart.
Concerns
'Forgive me...Maybe I'm overthinking this...but I just need to know, Kamui.' Subaru reflects on his current situation, guilt settling in his chest, like a creeping poison.
'I haven't told you everything, but I want to understand more about your past... To keep you safe…"
Though certainly confiding in his younger boyfriend, would prove more productive, sparing Kamui the pain would be the most ideal. Not opening up old wounds.
Subaru's trip was every bit, about leaving on a matter of family business, discussions, of new training for upcoming exorcists in the clan, and the ever-increasing spirits. Those of which became restless since their unplanned demise from the fated year. His excuse was valid, and there was no chance in hell he'd leave Kamui for nearly a week without it being a necessary obligation.
But… in the back of his mind, he held certain plans to dive deeper into things. His family's estate held a plethora of information unknown to the public, specifically around other spiritually strong family lines. He sought to learn as much as he could about the Magami bloodline, ensuring nothing further would dare to harm his love. If needed he'd do anything… Wincing his eyes tightly, he could vividly picture nights where Kamui would tremble in his arms, seeing or
'I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to keep you safe, away from the pain you've gone through until now.' Subaru vows internally, feeling the aching pain from the last time Kamui spoke about his family...his mother's fate in that fire….
The young Sumeragi head soon retreated, when arriving on their estate to enter into a stone path, leading towards a very traditional Japanese temple. A library perhaps suited it better… but.. one much more privatized. Only those high up enough in the family or the next heir would be given access here.
Right before entering the building, there was a sort of spell holding an invisible lock upon the door. The clan leader instantly knew this process, closing his eyes and holding his hands closed in a tight prayer fashion.
Subaru took a breath, before reciting a series of repetitive chants."Om...Dakara...Saeka..." Words, syllables, and sounds that would seem nonsensical to most, flow naturally.
This remains a practice done countless times, it was no surprise to see the golden light as he opened his eyes. The invisible seal, appearing like a spiritual ribbon laced with chains, slowly came undone. The door opened before him, only to close as he stepped fully inside.
Finally, Subaru arrived inside, countless shelves with books millennia-old, appearing in a crisp condition as when they were first gathered. The older paper, and calligraphy inside, proved its dated nature.
It was intimidating, knowing where to begin. It seemed fate decided to do the young Onmyouji a favor. Subaru couldn't understand just how but with a spark, he headed towards various shelves back right corner. There were still hundreds of books surrounding him, but he'd take a shortcut when needed. Something or perhaps someone wished to lead him here. This made him feel he'd gain answers to his beloved's history and some peace of mind.
'Shadow Sacrifices-'Kage-nie' … Chosen Sacrifices for Earth… Spiritual Clans chosen by the Gods… Divine Protectors…'
The titles just went on and on. Gold and green eyes scanned thoroughly, taking in each and every title that could be related. It seems he had been brought to the right place. His face became stern, pained, a sharp contrast to how it remained hours ago beside his precious one.
Without a second thought, he began grasping for every book that struck him. And some simply may be related… those books depicting strong spiritual families. He had to go off of what he knew.
With his arms completely full, he finally decided to return towards the center of the room. The towering pile of books was placed upon the dated wooden table. Subaru took a seat upon a chair of the same older wooden material. He grasped several books, opening several of them from the start, in hopes he would cover more ground. Of course, he had to start reading from just one.
'Divine Powers of Protection' was a subject title that caught his interest initially. Subaru leaned forward, taking in everything. He needed to know everything possible. The past was the past, but he wanted to make sure it could finally stay that way.
'Kamui deserves a life of peace, outside of his fate for once…' Subaru kept finding himself lost in this thought.
The article upon "Shadow Sacrifices", brought out a pang of pain within the spiritualist. One not just of his own worries, perhaps those who were made to endure such a fate. Just what purpose did all those sacrifices have? And for whom?
Even the answers he thought he knew brought out only more questions.
It seemed, especially from the texts before him, it's been a constant phenomenon. Royalty, prime ministers, bureaucrats, and anyone in a high position of power was listed amongst prior clients hiring the "Magami" clan from their own misfortune.
At the best, the spiritually strong Magami's would cast off misfortunes, be drained but continue to work alongside their client. At worst, they would be made into "Shadow Sacrifice", dying in place of the one they've been sworn to protect.
Subaru knew enough of the pain from his beloved. All those pained cries of "Mother", late into the night, left Subaru breaking inside, holding his love as tightly as possible. The younger male would gradually cling tight and fall asleep, eyes teary. Sometimes, he'd speak out, recalling precious past memories in Okinawa before fate had taken over.
Kamui's mother had to be sacrificed, his Aunt gave birth to the holy sword… all in front of such a fragile soul. If he could have been there….known Kamui a bit earlier than maybe he could have done more to comfort the troubled soul.
'But there's no use in getting lost in what-ifs...' Subaru's hands clenched tightly upon the table. Beautiful gem-tone eyes winced shut, as he felt his heart torn. Here was the origin of his beloved's family, beginning with a very basic breakdown of the family name itself.
The text inscribed: "The Magami clan have been around for countless Millennia preventing disasters that would be a means to an end for our world. The name Magami itself with the writing of "Ma" for truth and symbol for "Kami" meaning God. The Magami family name equates to: "The Truth of God"...'
Subaru skimmed through the introduction, already knowing enough. He flips to the next page.
'Magamis have been chosen by fate to become shadow sacrifices for those of nobility and holding great power and will continue to do so for the sake of the promised year. Magamis are gifted with the ability to accept and neutralize evil that surrounds their fated person to protect…"'
With the truth came an abundance of pain. His Kamui's heart remained strong through adversity, even if it took time needing all the love in the world to keep it going. Strong hearts had equally strong darkness, ones easy to get lost in.
Subaru flipped through a few more pages in the book. Some countless ancestors and stories followed the same pattern. One page struck him, his palm laid down on the side of the open pages.
"The chosen sacrifice for the earth…." Subaru read the title, incredulous. A cold shiver rushed through his system. Kamui had certainly told him of the late priestess Hinoto's explanation for the one Tohru Magami was to be sacrificed.
'Is it selfish...I'd rather have my mother back, even if it means hurting the earth? Even if it means going against what she wished for?' Kamui had confided quite frequently towards his kindred spirit amongst the seals. His beloved's earlier words met with the entry below.
'Thee Magami, possessing unfathomed spiritual powers, will be given the task of protecting the earth from humanity's sins. The flames killing, engulfing our planet can not keep spreading as is. A sacrifice is needed, by one with immeasurable powers. Upon this woman's eighteenth year of life, she will conceive the chosen child, far stronger than any before her, for the fateful year. This child being one chosen and given the authority of God, to determine the world's fate. Thus the time will come for this child to be born into this world, he is to be the one to determine the world's fate. "
"Kamui," Subaru hushed, hand trembling upon the sides of the pages. A chill ran down his spine again..."So this is how…"
He took a breath, it was something quite intrusive for him to do. The older man pondered continuing. His intentions were not to spy on Kamui's direct, birth origins...or...information Kamui may not wish to tell or know of himself… Just to know a bit more.
Kamui had gone through far too much pain and loss. If Subaru could help it he would give Kamui the best life possible. To give him a chance to finish high school, go on to college and pursue whatever his heart desires. A life free from this past.
Subaru closes his eyes, taking a few careful deep breaths. If possible, he wished to just find answers on how to keep Kamui safe. To see if there were any upcoming destinies to keep his love safe from….
His beloved mother, despite her strengths, was still made to be sacrificed. And in front of her precious young son. Reluctant, Subaru turned the page upon the book, engaged with this mystery being unraveled. Perhaps, the more he knew the more bizarre it would be.
'The Magami chosen to carry the fated Kamui will devote her own life and purpose for the future of the earth. Humanities' sins have long since caused immeasurable pain upon the earth. The earth has been burning, suffering for far too long. Once the Kamui has been raised to carry on his duty. A sacrifice for the earth itself will be made. The "Kage-ni" will be subject to the fires from a heavenly seal. This act will soothe to restore the planet from its deadly warming, preserving the world for this promised day…"'
'I know enough as to what happens next.' Subaru fills in, flipping through, and skimming the fated tale of their fate and the promised year: 1999. He slowly closed the book, having lived and experienced enough of those travesties.
So the last of Magamis would be given the burden to choose the fate of the world and all those inhabiting it.
There was enough to the story, enough pain and tragedy he hadn't wished to go back into. His Kamui had been brought to Tokyo, burdened by his preordained future. Their fates were entwined, to go through so much pain.
To lose the ones they loved more than anything and perhaps…. Finding such deep love within one another was a destiny of sorts. An iridescent rainbow after the merciless storms.
'There are no coincidences in this world.' Subaru recalls the words of his family's longtime friend. The dimensional witch he met as a young child, her words lingered to this day.
Subaru reached on top of the pile, seeking more answers on the past of the Magami family. Answers on how to keep the world's savior away and living, not subject to being a sacrificial doll to anyone.
Another anthology of sorts lists names of the Magami bloodline, dating back several millennia to the family and their connection to powerful dynasties. Of course, making sacrifices to preserve the history they had today.
'Kamui… I will always protect you.' Even if it was selfish, there was nothing more precious on this earth.
Subaru would do whatever it would take to make his love happy. While he couldn't bring back the life of Kamui's family and loved ones… he did hope to one day… possibly… Maybe the idea was more selfish... but brings his younger love into the Sumeragi family. To give Kamui love, family, and everything he could in his power provide. Whatever it took to keep that angelic smile on his lover's lips.
The next few books develop a pattern. Yet, there's one book near the top of a pile. While balanced and in place, there's a sudden thump. Taking place as an old amber-colored book lands within the center of the table.
Subaru hadn't so much as blinked. Feeling a spiritual presence well nearly everywhere around the clan property, this one seemed to host something rather benevolent. Regardless of what it was, if Subaru had to be guided to know more about Kamui he would go there.
"I'll read this then. If you're helping me keep Kamui safe, I can only thank you," Subaru expresses, to the unseen but felt spirit within the room. A sense of warmth spreads over, before slowly fading, as though dissipating into the air.
The book at hand inscribed a cursive print style. The title, "1999" held an eeriness to it. "When Fate is Preordained." The Sumeragi head loomed over the contents of the book with intent.
'Their fate is to be preordained. To defy fate could cause irreparable damage to time and space itself. Those chosen for the final year are to abide by their fate… There are two futures. The only one who can lead which path will be the true Kamui. The last Magami with the power to heal the earth to its purest form at the cost of 'a' Kamui's life…. '
"Much like that nightmare…" Subaru thinks aloud. A nightmare or vision of an alternate world. In which his Kamui was made as to the sacrifice for the world.
Whereas here that was not the case, fate had been shifted, enough so that Kamui could save the world without giving his life. Perhaps, the shift came with another "Kamui" being sacrificed.
Despite not being a Magami… had the earth's Kamui, had Fuuma taken the place of Kamui, to protect him from sacrifice? Had this all been known from the start?
Subaru leaned back in the chair. His fingers threaded through his dark locks of hair. Slowly he closes his eyes. 'I'm in far too deep already. 'I'll have to tell Kamui of this… it involves his loved ones and…'
Something stung at the thoughts which followed up. 'The man Kamui was so in love with.' Subaru knew it was the past. He had his own past and first love… but…if his theory was correct, Fuuma may have held the 'true' wish to sacrifice himself for Kamui. He loved Kamui that deeply.
The very thought of old feelings taking over, and his precious Kamui feeling that same love again for Fuuma… brought out an ache harsher than death itself.
"No…" Subaru thinks aloud. He couldn't. He wouldn't be made to live without his beloved. "I have no reason to doubt the one I love. " Kamui showed his love regularly. There was a deep love felt between them.
If anyone was aware of the possibility of love again it would be Subaru Sumeragi. Their love would withstand anything, pains of the past Most importantly their love was their own, beyond the past trysts and heartaches, they found each other.
The past was not capable of destroying their future. He wouldn't let it…and didn't believe Kamui would either. He couldn't keep this detail on the Magami and fate of the "Kamui's" hush, either. Not when it was so personal to his beloved.
For today...this was quite enough.
Phone Calls
Tossing and turning amongst the sheets, the troubled young man just barely stopped from tumbling out of his bed. Images of his childhood friends, smiling at him before falling into a sea of crimson, caused him to shake violently.
"No…" Kamui cries out before his nightmares conjure a similar image of his mother. She was smiling so carefree, running along with a much younger version of Kamui across the ocean waves...before that too...turned to a sickening shade of red. Senselessly, the waves broke form, water erupting into threatening flames. She looked towards Kamui, a pained smile and tears rolling down her eyes.
"NO! Please! Stop!" Kamui jerked himself from the state of consciousness. Immediately, his hand frantically started patting the space on the bed next to him. Tears threatened to crash, at the loss of warmth, the lack of a protective figure at his side…
A messy head of raven-black splayed all over the soft white pillow. Why did this have to start again? Only on the first night. They've had nights apart, why was it now this was coming up? Maybe he should have stayed over at the CLAMP dorms if he had known it would be like this. Even if his friends couldn't calm him as Subaru did, they could at least distract him. Talking about anything and everything or even staying up gaming until they passed out...sounded nicer than being alone. It was too late to go back now.
Kamui gradually sat up, closing his watery eyes. He brought his knees to his chest, grabbing a pillow soon to rest between. His nose sniffs at the soft pillowcase. He hugged it tight to his chest, taking in the aroma of his lover's shampoo, cologne, and natural scent. "Subaru always comes back to me." He murmurs the words like a protective mantra.
Very gradually, he manages to lie back down on his side. The young man tightens his hold on the pillow, shifting it between his legs in a full embrace.
Countless nights, he woke his older lover up. Every night, without complaint, he would be soothed by sweet-nothings, kisses, touches. The older man always allowed Kamui to keep him close, often in a full-body embrace, hanging to his lover much like a koala.
'That's fine, Kamui. We can stay like this for as long as you need. You're so precious...so perfect to me, you know that. My beautiful Kamui~' Tender words from his lover soothed the worry lines on his forehead. They equally made him burn up, cheeks painting a delicate shade of pink. It didn't help, his Subaru would vocalize, how much he loves Kamui's blush.
Violet-blue eyes glared at the sight of the clock beside them. '2:33 A.M.' It was still too early to get ready for school...and too late to know he'd have a proper night's rest. Although, feeling a bit guilty...falling asleep like this...knowing nightmares would return was futile…
It was only their first night apart (something which had been done before), but maybe the thought of being apart for longer caused this. Not fully awake, Kamui rolled over towards the opposite side of the bed, and grabbed the cellphone on the nightstand.
"I'm sorry…" Kamui apologizes in advance, leering at the telephone. He can't bring himself to calm down. His fingers press down on the green dial button. Kamui hears the first half of a ring, expecting it to go for longer.
Yet, on that first ring, it picks up. "...Kamui?" Subaru calls in a sleepy, yet still present, worried tone. Even with how exhausted his lover must be….
Kamui's delicate fingers dig into the silky fabric over his chest. Even over the phone, he blushes harder, as though Subaru could see Kamui stole his lover's larger sleep shirt for the night.
"Are you alright, my love?" Subaru asks again, voice sleepy-husky and distraught.
"I'm alright, I think…" Kamui mentions, and the gentle-hearted laugh, set his heart on fire.
"You think so then? Well, a good start." Subaru's tone is entirely empathic, Kamui can feel the way the words would warm over his lips. "Are you really doing alright, it's quite late?"
"I know, I'm sorry," Kamui apologizes out of a reflex.
"Oh, no, Kamui. I'm fine, I always want you to come to me if something is wrong. I only mean I'm worried you've been unable to sleep peacefully…". Soothing, words seeped out, so naturally, so full of love. The warmth they bring makes Kamui's toes curl. His fingers tightly hug the phone, wanting to embrace the voice.
"Subaru…" Kamui sniffles, hugging pillows and blankets around him snuggly. He closes his eyes, imagining his lover's gentle caresses.
"Have you had any nightmares?" Subaru calls, worriedly, already sitting up in his own bed. His heart aches at the pained sounds which follow. The sniffles, indicating his love, were this close to crying.
"Y-yes…" Kamui mumbles again, feeling warm tears run down his cheeks. He attempts to bury his tear-stained eyes in the soft pillows. "I'm being way too needy…', the troubled boy thinks despite being able to stop himself.
"My love…" Subaru coos, words every bit as warm and alluring as they felt earlier this morning. Closing his eyes, he can imagine the warm breath 'My sweet, sweet, Kamui, I'm so sorry… I wish I was there right now."
"No, no, no. It's alright, not your fault. I don't know why tonight was like this…" Kamui whimpers, he buries himself further into the sheets.
Pained whimpers and cries leave the older lover scrambling to his feet. "If I leave now...I should be able to get back to you in."
"Oh, No, please don't do that." Kamui halts the worried offer. He can't help the gushing feeling as his cheeks lift. Soft plush lips keep curling, hopeless, knowing fully well his love was indeed ready to rush over here in an instant. "I...can't sleep...but it helps to hear your voice."
"I'm glad…" Subaru coos, cradling the phone against his ear. He gradually settles back down onto his futon. "I love the sound of your voice, my Kamui."
"My Subaru…" Kamui can't help but purr, his beloved's words always stirring inside him so deeply. The happily little chirps and squeaks following, make the older man's heart full.
"Well, then we'll both have to keep each other company until we fall asleep…"
"I don't want to keep you up too late…"
"You know I won't sleep until I know you're alright..."
"Just for a few minutes then…" Kamui reasons, not wanting to push much further.
"Alright," Subaru entertains the idea. But both know he would remain on the line for as long as needed. "Have you tried any of the breathing exercises we've done before?" The question comes sincerely, gently, never pushing Kamui one way or the other.
"No…." Kamui adds regrettably. There's a brief, soft chuckle that escapes from the sweet, honest response.
"That's perfectly fine...would you like to do some together?" Subaru asks, hearing Kamui's affirmative hum.
"Okay, so let's inhale, quietly through your nose to the count of four…." Subaru begins the gentle instructions, listening and breathing in alongside his beloved. Warmth swells in his chest, hearing the cute little breaths on the other end.
"You're doing so well, love. Now, let's focus on releasing with a soft, long exhale through your mouth ..."
Kamui followed up as instructed, repeating the series of deep, soothing breaths alongside his gentle protector. This lasted until the elongated breaths were soon replaced by a gentle hum and a soft snore.
"I love you, Kamui," Subaru whispers sweetly, ensuring his love was finally at rest. "Good night."
In order to protect
The next few mornings, similar to goodnight, left Onmyouji even more protective, curious about his love's fate. 'I won't let anyone hurt you…' Subaru vows, again to himself. His mind has been going thousands of miles a minute, trying to take in and grasp what he could manage in those hours between clan gatherings
Now he took the time to meditate. The young leader sat in the lotus position, in the middle of his clan's private garden.
His mind was far too restless, too full of Kamui and what he had learned the other day. There was a past, a process of those with spiritually gifted families taking the place for a Magami's sacrifice. Not just anyone could impose such a thing.
Many of those who loved those in the Magami clan, sacrificed their life, only to find that sacrifice in vain only giving the Magami a little more time before their fated demise.
Kamui was not to become a sacrifice. The sacrifice preordained was shifted to the Dragon of Earth's Kamui. Fuuma's wish perhaps. The earth was as it should, now missing one of the fated twin stars.
Subaru's fingers curled in tightly, balling up. There was a pained wince. "I won't let anyone hurt you…" The gifted spiritualist voiced his thoughts. Sternly, and with great persistence he vows. "Never."
Kamui would live life freely, never being subject to another using him or seeking him for his powers as the Kamui and a Magami. Never would this be allowed, whether Subaru was alive and beyond. Subaru would never cross over to another world without assuring Kamui's safety and happiness.
Subaru, if one were to take faith in him again, would wish to give his Kamui a happy life. It didn't hurt that his grandmother showed approval. Those working for the family, whether it was private drivers or the handful of clan members he'd run into while out on a date with Kamui, well his younger love was greatly accepted and genuinely adored.
Subaru's fingers tightened upon the fabric over his legs. His heart ached partly but brought on a sign of bittersweet happiness.
'I know you would adore him, Hokuto.' It's true he couldn't speak with her as he did the first 16 years of life...but Subaru knew it. Knew Hokuto would love Kamui with every fiber of her being.
It was bittersweet thinking of the what-ifs. And dreaming of them...Certainly, she'd adore Kamui, training with him in the art of cooking, baking, sewing, designing, and everything she put her mind to.
Clearly, he could envision, the happiest of timelines. One where Hokuto remains ever close. Next door to his apartment, she would constantly be over. Mainly, fussing over her future brother-in-law. A title, Subaru wouldn't even try to deny adoring. Then there were flustering thoughts. Coming home, seeing Kamui being made to dress up in her colorful concoctions…. That was… dangerous territory for his heart. Especially knowing how some of the outfits chosen for himself were made to be…. Quite skin-tight…
Subaru quickly shook his head, attempting to move away from flustering thoughts. He was thinking of everything he shouldn't be doing back at his family's estate, in a garden deemed for its purity no less.
No, no no, now was the time to clear his mind. Keep himself grounded before deciding his next step. Surely he would have to inform Kamui of the archives, letting him know, if desired, of his fate.
And it seems there may be a possibility. For one to take the place, or to be a sacrifice for a Magami. Though there were a chosen few.
Of course, he would protect Kamui without question. But… being a substitute for a Magami sacrifice brought out a feeling of poison in the out of his stomach.
Subaru would do anything for Kamui. He was and had been willing to die to protect Kamui.. Above that he would live with and for Kamui. To stay alive.
Subaru couldn't help the hesitation. He would do anything for Kamui. He wished for Kamui's happiness and… selfish or not for that happiness to involve them being together. To always be in Kamui's life.
'The greatest gift you can give to the one you love is to be alive.'
Words from his grandmother resonated into his heart. No matter what, he would live beside Kamui. Never, letting his younger lover go through the pain of being left behind once more…
With that decision made Subaru breathes several long, soothing breaths, similar to ones he'd done over the phone with his beloved. Now, was time to clear his mind, he readjusted his sitting position and hands, to fully relax. The hope and warmth of truly desiring to be alive, being alive for and with someone irreplaceable kept his heart light.
Despite his meditative state, he couldn't help but ponder what Kamui was up to. In a class by now? Or perhaps skipping out to catch up on homework for his harder subjects. His lips quirked at either option.
Images of a flushed Kamui surfaced to the forefront of his mind and heart. Flushed, averting his eyes, and playing with his fingers.
'How were your classes today?' Subaru would ask. It was almost unfair Kamui was almost always first to ask him about work. His angel put him first above whatever daily problems may have occurred.
'I…. Didn't exactly go to all my classes…' Kamui sometimes couldn't help but admit. 'I ah need to catch up on my math homework before the exam so… "
Subaru in the present flushed. He couldn't help but think of those perfect plush lips. How Kamui would lick and bite at them...and how his angel could think he could be anything but proud of Kamui.
His heart felt full, as the feeling, seemed to drop to his stomach. It was a little hard to keep with calming breaths… but he needed to.
Subaru breathes a heavy sigh. I'm too weak for you… He admits to himself, images of earlier today becoming an ongoing struggle since the very second he left their home.
Companions
Meanwhile, Kamui found himself staying over at the CLAMP dorms spending time studying and catching up with Keiichi and Yuzuriha. Of course, the latter would never miss an opportunity to tease him about his obvious feelings for Subaru.
Kamui groans, hating that she figured things out before he could….
But still…. He found himself in love again, deeply and maddeningly. With someone who brought him far more smiles and warmth than pain and longing.
"Kamui?" A gentle male voice called to him. Kamui's Violet-blue eyes are met with a hand waving in front of him. He comes to…
"Are you feeling okay? You seem out of it…" The gentle yet direct voice could only be from Keiichi Sawada. How he managed a natural smile on his face, despite his losses… astounded Kamui.
It doesn't help though...that he had assumed Subaru and Kamui to be a couple since day one.
Shaking his head, and flushing brightly, Kamui speaks out. "I'm fine," he says, in turn waving his own hands meekly in front of his reddening cheeks. "Just a little… ah tired…" Kamui's teeth grazed his lips anxiously.
A gentle hand, even smaller than Kamui's own, grazed over his hand.
"This is the longest you've both been apart...huh?" She asks worriedly, her eyes glistening, as though wanting to cry for Kamui.
Kamui nodded, pain seeping into his eyes. "Well… yeah…" He turns away. Both of his friends give each other a pained, yet all too knowing look. 'Since we've lived together…it's not as bad as when he had first left the Dragons of Heaven.' Kamui shook his head really, not wanting to go into that now. He understood the immeasurable loss his then-friend has faced.
'I'm the one who denied your wish of going along with him on that bridge...' Kamui thought pained. "Pretty much..." he voiced aloud, earning concerning gazes from his friends. He shook his head, knowing he'd make the same choice billions of times over again, anyway. It wasn't good to think about the past this much.
"I'm sorry you two have to be apart," Keiichi comforts, with a reassuring smile, the best he can. His hand clasps gently around the smaller male's shoulder blade.
"I'm sure you'll both be incredibly happy to reunite," Keiichi adds on cheerily, rubbing at the back of his light brown head.
'Absence does make the heart grow fonder, huh?'
Yuzuriha nods vigorously and speaks as though reading Kamui's mind. "Exactly! You two fit so perfectly together!" She claps her hands together cheerily. "Just like soulmates!~"
"I see how he looks at you, when you're not looking and how you two interact," Keiichi chimes in. The cheery brunette seems entirely thrilled. 'It's why I thought you two were a couple of way before~"
Kamui flushes at the change in mood. Now, his heart accelerates, his stomach is fluttering, and everything aches in a good way. He doubts his boisterous friend understood the weight of the word she just used. Equally, he doesn't linger on how it seems right with Subaru.
"H-how does he look at me?."Kamui keeps to his thoughts fondly. He knew the feeling that came when he caught those looks…
Though judging by the knowing glances of his friends, it had been said aloud.
Of course, the fluttering feeling was replaced with dread. Neither of his friends could remotely hide the amused grins on their faces. Well, it couldn't be worse than Karen's answer to the question earlier.
'Oh, nothing to be too worked up over. He only looks at you like he wants to whisk you away, and take you on the nearest flat surface.' Kamui had adored his kind-hearted friend. Poor Kamui couldn't look his boyfriend n the eyes for three days after that comment! This was why he went to see Karen without his romantic partner accompanying him.
At least, it wouldn't be that bad...
"Hellooo~" Yuzuriha sings the words, waving a hand in front of the raven-haired boy.
Kamui frowns, batting away the hand in front of his face.
"You were zoning out again, blushing~"
"I was not!" Kamui denies, despite burning up even more.
"Well, whatever the case." The boisterous girl was quick to speak up. "I was saying how Subaru looks at you like he wants to run away and elope with you," Yuzuriha answered dreamily, her eyes sparkled as she stared off into her own world.
Neither friend mention the more mature aspects of the older man's more heated gazes. Looks that came with the that screamed 'I want to make you mine' were spared from being vocalized.
"That's so… r-ridiculous…" Kamui huffs. It didn't stop his heart from racing, but he was wrapping his head around them being boyfriends. "I mean I'm still in high school…."
"That's ha… your only concern?" Yuzuriha's soft brown eyes were tearing up. Her soft giggles erupted to the point of bringing tears to her eyes. She held an arm under her stomach. "Oh, my god, that's adorable~" She squees, going off.
"It's not really a surprise, with how in love you are," Keiichi answered as more of a distraction. Hoping to calm Kamui, he speaks kindly but all too honestly. Soft laughs were unable to be kept at bay.
It only increased as Kamui's cheeks heated up to the point where his whole expression was burning. He huffed, turning away, about ready to leave this 'study session.' He eyes his school bag, grabbing the straps and gathering his textbooks from the table.
"No, no Kamui please don't leave… I only think it's really beautiful how you two feel. I'm happy for you." Keiichi spoke the words so sincerely. His eyes darkened quite seriously.
Kamui nodded, flushed but undeniably happy they appeared as in love as they felt.
Unfortunately, Yuzuriha Nekoi was not one to keep her thoughts and teasing to herself. "And besides you're already his housewife… so there's no need to rush with the official ceremony~"
"I am not a housewife." Kamui glared at the bemused girl. 'Housewife?' His words came more as a growl than response. This time he really did follow through, gathering up his books and grasping for his school bag. Quickly, slinging it over his shoulder and heading out the door.
His friends rushed over, somewhat guilty. They spent the next few moments chasing after and convincing Kamui to come back.
Your Scent
"10 PM" red the bright numbers on the bedside table. Still, it felt a bit early to be asleep. Even if getting more sleep would be helpful for the poor sleep-deprived teen. A good night call was in order anyway, hearing his love's voice soothed the yearning.
"Be available..." Kamui bites down on his lip, feeling a little needy. His love had been out for the evening, only briefly being able to answer to let Kamui know. He cuddled up in bed, leaning with his back against the pillows.
Come on... Kamui thinks to himself, hoping to will away the duties and responsibilities his lover faced. At least for the good-night call.
Briiii~
"Hello, Kamui," Subaru answers knowingly, on the first ring. Kamui beams, eyes glistening, warm and overwhelmed by his love's voice. Every day apart, just made him appreciate these calls all the more.
"Hi," Kamui replies softly, holding a hand to his burning cheek. Violet-blue eyes light up entrancingly.
"Is everything alright?" Subaru asks gently, as a concerning habit.
"I'm alright," Kamui brings his knees up to his chest. Quietly, he admits. "I just miss you..."
"I miss you too," Subaru professes, eyes shimmer with the utmost fondness. "So very much."
"Subaru~" Kamui purrs softly, holding to his gushing cheeks. "Was everything alright for you today?"
"Oh, yeah. It's been busy, but nothing too out of hand." Subaru sighs softly, before elaborating. "I got caught up in doing some work with some of the new Onmyouji."
"Aw," Kamui whispers, dreamily. He can easily picture his kind-hearted lover working along with the young spiritualists. "They're lucky, they have the sweetest instructor they could hope for."
"I only hope I'm helpful," Subaru voices, as modest and humble as always. It brings a fluttering feeling to his lover's chest and stomach.
"You're perfect...and I might have a little bias...but..." Kamui bites inside his cheek, He gushes. "It's true."
Subaru laughs gently at the words. "Hearing that from you means everything," he voices, soothingly. "You're the one who is entirely perfect."
The way the words are spoken so matter-of-factly, makes Kamui nearly drop the phone by his ear. "I... I don't know about that."
"My modest angel," Subaru coos, shaking his head gently. He sighs, long and a bit saddened. "I really can't wait to hold you in my arms again."
"Subaru~" Kamui lets out a happy little squeak. He holds a hand over his lips. He can't help the feeling. "Me either. I sleep best with you here..."
"Soon, Kamui," Subaru promises. He can't fight the bit of guilt for separating, despite his duties.
"I know..." Kamui says wistfully. Then an idea sparks. "Oh yeah..." He blushes deep red. "Subaru?"
"Yes...?" Subaru pauses at the nervous tone.
"I uh...meant to ask before but...uh..." Kamui's fingers play with the hem of the pajama top he's been wearing. Subaru has always told him, it was 'their' home, and Kamui was open to doing as liked.
"You can ask me anything," Subaru assures tender and loving. "My sweeatheart~" There's the happy little squeak again, making the older lover smile.
"It's just I...was wondering..while you were gone," Kamui gulps. There's fire spreading from ear to ear. "If I could...well I miss having you here...and I..."
"it's alright, Kamui. Yes, to whatever you need."
"You know you haven't heard what I'm asking you for."
"Anything you need Kamui, it's yours."
Kamui shakes his head, lovesick and dizzy. "But okay...still I want to know, if while you're gone. I-I could um.." Kamui fiddles with the soft fabric over his chest. He brings it up and over his cheek, breathing in the faint scent. "If I could wear your clothes to sleep in?'
"..."
"Subaru?"
The lovesick man gulps, heart, accelerating at the thought. He swallows, hard, images of Kamui in his clothes brought out a delightfully protective and possessive side.
"Is that...not okay?" Kamui adds on timidly. Though he can't help the flush in his cheeks.
"Oh, no-no-no, that's absolutely fine," Subaru corrects his silence quickly. His mind already goes there, with images of his Kamui, draped in his shirts, and only that. Those soft, milky legs exposed, and a flustered Kamui smiling at him. Or his boyfriend biting his lip, with a seductive gleam in his eyes... "Any time you want."
"Thank you," Kamui chirps, now hugging himself and his lover's clothing tight, unaware of the reaction he was bringing to his boyfriend. "It really helps... makes me feel...close to you."
Subaru nods vigorously, unable to stop the fantasies and painful arousal from forming. With a dry mouth, he licks at his lips, unable to stop his curiosity. "Is that...what you're wearing now?"
Kamui burns up at the thought. He nods, guilty. "Um... yeah." He admits, shyly. "I have been all week, actually... sorry..."
"You don't need to apologize. What's mine is yours..."There was no way Kamui could know how deeply he was affecting his lover. Nor the predicament he put Subaru in. "I don't mind it one bit." An understatement. "You can wear my clothes any time you want, really."
Kamui laughs, a little anxious yet excited at the heat behind that comment. He couldn't have been imagining? "I might take you up on that..."
Those words struck the older male like a shot to his heart. "Y-yeah...you should..." Subaru responded at the particularly hard predicament he was brought to. "I ah...should probably shower and get ready for bed. Can I call you back?"
"Oh, okay," Kamui says a bit oblivious. Though his body seemed to sense something more to those words. "I'll talk to you soon, I love you, Subaru."
"I love you too Kamui," Subaru beams, bringing the edge of the phone to his lips. Kamui closes his eyes doing the same, sharing a little kiss. "I'll call you back soon."
Missing you…
There was a rough patch of incidents following up one after another. Subaru had completed his duties for his clan, taking on cases that were far too traumatizing for the more inexperienced onmyouji.
Then there were the discussions… which dragged on and on. The event of the promised year had come to a pass, countless restless spirits were overwhelming many of the onmyouji and so on.
It was to be expected with the fatalities from the constant earthquakes and disasters from the Dragon's of Earth. Then there was the worry, always vaguely mentioned, about the curse of the Sakurazukamori. Something which was terrifying to consider as he sought life beyond Seishirou.
Thankfully he fell in love with the Kamui, his Kamui, who healed the earth, and granted him his own freedom...
But it didn't seem everyone could quite grasp that… mainly because Subaru didn't understand it himself, only that his love couldn't be more perfect if he tried.
A part of him felt like slipping out of the room from the meetings… he longed for a certain someone's angelic voice and there was no other who could satisfy that need.
Now, it seemed final, things had calmed enough for others to get back to their own obligations. Finally, Subaru clenched at his chest…. He could return to his beautiful, breathtaking… absolutely perfect lover.
"You're heading back?" Lady Sumeragi called knowingly. The older woman smiled at the mild surprise Subaru gave. She made her way over to her precious grandson, lost in his thoughts, staring off at the flourishing garden.
"Ah, yes," Subaru returned, turning his head around, calming himself. "It seems things are calming enough here. And I…"
"You have someone precious waiting for you," She supplied, knowingly. There was such a light in her grandson's eyes, one that relieved her heart greatly.
Subaru willed down the flush on his cheeks. He nodded. "Yes, I've been away from home for too long." There's the soft lovesick curl to his lips that falls perfectly in line with the glimmer in his eyes. Those same eyes look into the crystal clear pond across from him, eyeing his reflection… and envisioning his beloved right at his side.
"Well then you shouldn't keep him waiting," Lady Sumeragi replies tenderly, laughing softly at the way her grandson's cheeks lit up pink with her following words. "I'm looking forward to meeting your beloved during your next visit."
"Right," Subaru bites down on his lips. His heart races, feeling like the unaware lovesick teen he had been for so long. No… this was so so much better. His chest felt light, and even losing his breath over the feeling, made him fall into euphoria. Because… It was Kamui.
Maybe… just maybe… they were not only fated in their meeting but meant to fall for one another all along
"He's a bit nervous, honestly," Subaru chuckles, terribly fond. He feels his stomach doing cartwheels. Images of an adorable Kamui, nervously playing with his hands come to mind. Then those enchanting violet-blue eyes.
"I… I just I've never done this kind of thing…been introduced as a…. Boyfriend or ah… l-lover…" Kamui's earlier words crashed into his heart, making it skip beats senselessly.
"You'll love him," Subaru assures, dreamily, not even trying to hide his gushing. There is not a sense of doubt in his mind.
Hokuto would adore, and embarrass Kamui beyond measure. Subaru reflects, bittersweet yet somehow, knowing, feeling his precious sister already approved, felt happy for his new love.
"I'm sure I will," She replies gently. The white-haired woman breaths a contented sigh. "He makes you whole.".
"Ah… I…" Subaru's left speechless, heart thundering. Absolutely every word struck him… an absolute truth. A revelation he never dreamed to hear about himself. "He does."
"Well, you don't want to keep your beloved waiting too long," She added cheerfully. The older woman made a waving motion, as though guiding her grandson away. "Give my best regards to Kamui."
Subaru beams at this, bowing his head politely. "I will."
Reunion
After finishing up a study session with his friends, Kamui found himself craving home. It was all in good timing too.
Honestly, it still felt the most right at home, even with his precious person absent. Kamui's things were there. The scent of Subaru all over their home, the shampoo, and cologne upon the pillow and bedsheets.
Then there was the intoxicating scent from one of Subaru's coats his love would leave tiredly on the side of their couch or back of a chair. Although the scent faded over their time apart...there was something about it that still lingered.
Briiiiiiiiing.
Kamui's eyes lit up at the sound. He dived into their couch, grasping for the vibrating cell phone. Seeing the name 'Subaru' lit up, made his stomach do flips, he pressed down to answer the call. Faster than he would for any other.
"Hi," Kamui calls softly, sweetly, wanting to melt at the fond humming sound on the other end.
"Hi, Kamui," Subaru returns, just as tenderly. He cradles the phone beside his ear, longing. He lingers upon his next few words. "How was school?"
"It's fine," Kamui adds nonchalantly, opting to lie down, facing the door. His legs kick out as he lies upon his stomach. Violet-blue orbs anxiously fall towards the door. "Are you coming home tonight?" He can't hide the nerves and excitement flowing through his voice.
Subaru lightly chuckles, at this, absently licking his lips. Kamui's angelic laughter follows up, making the older man lose his breath. "Yes, love, just as promised."
"Good," Kamui says resolutely. His chest aches a bit, but he can't suppress the words. "I've really missed you."
"I've missed you too, Kamui," Subaru pauses, walking onwards towards his destination. A little quirk forms on his lips. His heart only soars as he openly professes. "I've missed you so-so much, my angel."
"Aww…." Kamui emits happy little hums and chirps. Flustered, he places the phone down, still on speaker, to cover his face with both hands. "I really missed you too...I can't wait for you to come home."
"My Kamui," Subaru purrs, low and adoringly. His current destination only becomes closer and closer. "I love you."
"I love you too," Kamui replies all too happily. Eagerly, he glances up at the clock on the wall. "When will you be back?" His thoughts escape so impatiently, and he burns a deep shade of red.
"Not too long,' Subaru laughs whimsically. He takes a few more steps, approaching the doorway.
"What exactly does that-'' Kamui can't finish. The soft sound of the key turning into the lock plays like a melody making the young man's heart sing. The turning of the knob brings him to his feet, dropping his phone in the process.
The younger man is before the door, by the time it begins opening. Thousands of little butterflies escape from Kamui's stomach, at the sight of his gentle boyfriend. The tender lips, and tired yawn, makes his heart thunder almost painfully tight.
"I'm back," Subaru announces, softly, knowing his Kamui would be near. His heart hammers, seeing those gorgeous violet-blue eyes sparkle with adoration and love. Plush pink lips part, but can't seem to vocalize an ounce of everything attacking his heart.
"Kamui?" Subaru vocalizes with some concern, seeing eyes looking over him with such longing. "Kam-" The young man seems to break out of his trance by the second mention of his name.
"Subaru!" Kamui cries out, yearning deeply. There's the only warning before Kamui leaps. Thin arms loop around Subaru's neck, and Kamui knocks his love back a few steps back. Fortunately, Subaru is prepared for his love's enthusiastic embrace and happily returns the embrace, lifting the younger man off his feet several inches, before slowly lowering him to the floor.
Kamui closes his eyes, sealing his lips tightly, and moving so tenderly into the 's lips curl up into the kiss. He gladly returns it with the same, tender and endearing passion. Strong arms continue to close further around the lithe body.
"Welcome home," Kamui murmurs against addictively soft lips. He tilts his head, moving and slotting their lips together eagerly to turn the kiss much deeper. Subaru voices no complaints, his things scattered carelessly to the floor around him.
"Miss you," Kamui begins murmuring. His tone, far too alluring for his lover's ears. There should be no surprise, when hands come to rest on the underside of Kamui's soft thighs. But there is…that gasp escaping the younger male's lips.
"I missed you too, Kamui," Subaru returns, easily lifting his smaller lover up, making kissing deeper an easier task.
"Mmmn…" Kamui gasps at the feeling, his feet leaving the ground. All the while, their lips keep melding, and falling deeper into the abyss. Kamui flushes entirely pink, but can't help himself, wrapping his legs around his love's waist.
"You're so beautiful…" Subaru breathes into an all too sensitive ear. Kamui knows this has to be reality, by how luxuriously deep and hot those words feel breathed into him. Quite, wildly his body shivers. Kamui lets out a soft moan.
"My Subaru..." Kamui whispers, longing, and needy against pale pink lips. He allows himself to be carried and deposited on their couch.
"Kamui…" Subaru whispers with worry. His eyes shiver, before kissing all over the younger man's cheeks. "Please, don't cry."
The lovesick teen doesn't even notice the tears rolling down his cheeks, until the words register. "I-I'm not…" Kamui mumbles out an embarrassed squeak, sniffling all the while. The cute denial earns him a sweet kiss to his forehead.
Subaru remains persistent, adjusting his hold on Kamui, whisking him into a warm embrace. There's nothing left but the sound of their lips pressing, and bodies shifting, as they fall back onto the loveseat.
The time apart, falling asleep outside of each other's warmth had been draining.
Kamui, entirely exhausted, comfortably cuddled up within seconds. His long legs tangled beautifully with Subaru's own, the connection between felt infinite.
Subaru knew his findings earlier would need to come up, hiding things from his beloved was already forming guilt inside. Kamui deserved to know about his own past… if he wanted to.
His tender-hearted lover deserves the option of knowing of his preordained fate alongside the other Kamui… the sacrifice Kamui's former love had made…in order for the last of the Magami's to live on…
There were the Shadow Sacrifices, those who could devote their life to taking on all tragedies and darkness befallen….but...he had a feeling Kamui would be against the idea of anyone else sacrificing themselves for his sake. His angel had lost far far too much.
So lost in his own mind's wanderings, he doesn't notice when his eyes open. He's met with incredibly gorgeous violet orbs, shimmering and holding a deep sense of worry.
"You look so sad…" Kamui whispers, caressing soft lips with his own. He peppers his beloved's cheeks with endless kisses. Their foreheads lean upon one another, resting.
"Subaru?" Kamui breathes his name, so tenderly, and lovingly. The sofa makes guilt seep in.
Even if his intentions were, as he believed, to better understand Kamui's background, without bringing back old scars, it didn't sit right.
"I just… really need you, Kamui," Subaru murmurs softly burying himself into the welcoming shoulder. Leaving his beloved perplexed was not the goal by any means, but he found it hard to speak beyond that.
"Always."Subaru professes his arms coil and tightens around his precious person.
"Subaru…." Kamui tries out, he threads his fingers through the older man's hair. A sense of calmness, and security brushes through the pair. Subaru tenderly leans into the loving hand soothing him.
"Please, don't worry. I feel the same." Kamui responds in earnest. He can't fight the worry lines on his face over his lover's pained tone. "I'm not going anywhere."
With the words spoken as a vow, Kamui links their hands together. Shyly, but resolute he brings the hands to his racing heart. "I've said this before… but…. You must know I'm yours…" He trusts his beloved to come to him when he's ready to elaborate on what brought on these worries.
The younger male resolutely nods. His eyes widening at the words. Subaru feels his heart soar at the following words.
"I will always be yours." Kamui professes the words as a promise. One he would be happy to assure over and over again. His cheeks paint the most elegant colors of pink and red.
They would talk… about their worries for each other's fate … their drives to protect one another. Now…was a time to lose themselves in the warmth of their reunion.
-End~
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Our precious angsty boys will have time to talk, and better understand the importance of being open with each other. They know each other's deepest pains and losses, so it's just a matter of getting used to not keeping things inside~ I'll See you all soon~