Girl's Frontline: Field Agent

by Johnny Wycliffe

Sometimes, life comes at you like an explosion through the storefront. A young man, Hadwin Galanis, finds this out the hard way as his life is turned upside-down by a PMC and Paradeus, forced to pick up a gun and fight in a war fought by machines.

39. Chapter 39: Patch Update

The next morning comes with a harsh wake up call.

An explosion.

My eyes open sluggishly, only to find chaos as everyone runs past the door to my room.

I'd ask what's going on, but everyone else is too loud, preparing to fight…

Something.

Even trying to sit myself up is so much of a struggle that I have to give up mid-way, forced to stare up at the ceiling and listen to the sounds of battle outside of the train.

So much gunfire.

Bullets ping off the outer skin of the train, sending my skin crawling.

I need to be out there. I need to help them.

My hands clench into fists, the part of me that wants to storm out there and help screaming at me, but the part of me that realizes I wouldn't make it to the door before dying is barely able to hold my reason intact as the sounds continue to reach my ears.

Another detonation shakes the train slightly, and I try to plug my ears to block out the sounds. My arms refuse to properly cooperate though, and I have to give up on the idea before long.

Then I remember that I have P90 in the Linker on the side table.

It takes what feels like an hour, but is closer to three minutes to fetch the device with how poorly my arms are responding to my thoughts, but in the end, I'm able to drag the thing down over my head and flick on the switch.

P90 blinks her eyes as she starts to see the world again. "Eh? What's going on?"

"I dunno." I think, my voice not coming out of my throat. "We're under attack though."

"I can see that." P90 looks away, her eyes growing distant for a few seconds.

I briefly consider that she must be spending processing power to actually show me her eyes glazing over, and that if the task is difficult enough that she has to focus all her attention, it's kind of a stupid-

"I do it so you don't try to bother me asking why I froze." P90's gaze softens and she puts on her cheesy grin. "Looks like the KCCO is sending probing parties at us."

"...I figured."

"It's not so bad, actually. The train has shields, and canons, and we're not overextending ourselves." P90 sits down on the edge of the bed. "Apparently the UMP twins are busy trying to get the train running again, 416 and the AR team are defending the train, and we're about to start moving."

"Is 416 okay? How about 15?" I ask anxiously.

"Don't worry, they're fine." Aleah steps into the room, a towel over her arm. "The better question is, how are you doing?"

My hand tugs on the wires attaching me to the train, which sends a shock of panic up Aleah's form, and P90 reaches out to grab my wrist, stopping me from moving.

I forgot she could do that even without the exo suit.

"I'm stuck in the train car, and my friends… my family are out there, fighting."

"I understand." Aleah walks over and gently unwraps my hand from the cabling. "But right now, ripping those cables out would result in your death within three minutes, optimistically."

"Oh."

P90 sighs. "Well, at least you're still you."

I glare at her direction, but once I realize Aleah's eyes are subtly tracking to the side to see what I'm looking at, I let up.

Before I can continue to speak, the train jerks suddenly, and we're back underway. I can still hear combat outside, but I suppose that's going to end soon.

I really hope everyone's okay.

In the background, the sound of the EKG once more starts to beep the creepy steady pulse of my overdone pacemaker. I hadn't even realized that was off. Maybe it's tied into the train's systems?

"Hadwin." Aleah's voice is a lot harder than usual. "I need you to listen to me."

Something in her tone sends a chill down my spine, though I still manage to meet her eyes as she takes a breath to calm herself.

"You need to stop fighting."

I roll my eyes. "Ri-"

"No." She grabs my shoulders and brings her face right up to mine, so close that she fills my vision. "Listen. You need to stop fighting."

I bite my tongue and look away, only for her hands to come up, grab my face and twist my head back to face her.

"We are worried about you. I am worried about you. You just got severely injured because you went and played decoy."

"Aleah, it's my job."

"No, it isn't. Your job, as per the new contract you signed, is to ensure that we're happy. Do I look like I'm happy?"

"No, but I don't think any of you can be happy if you're dead." I point weakly at the wall of the train, my accentuated finger pointing toned down by pain and weak muscles. "I… I get that you don't need protection the same way you would if you were a human, but I hate watching you die! It tears me up!"

"I know." Aleah's hands come up and she grabs my wrists, gently guiding them back down to my lap. "Does it not occur to you that we'd feel the same way for you?"

My response dies in my throat.

"Unlike me, if you get shot, there's a chance you might not come back. In fact, if not for Sop's recent obsession with humans there's no way you would have made it back to us. "

"I understand, but-"

"Shh. You need to realize that you are precious to us. You are something irreplaceable, and we will fight to keep you alive at all costs."

My fists clench. "That's not fair. I can't just sit back and watch you die!"

"It's not like you have much of a choice." 45 pokes her head into the room. "Right now you're plugged into a train and you can't move."

"Hey, 45." Despite her harsh words, I can't help my mouth from quirking upwards.

She continues into the room, sitting on the side of the bed. "You know, I was starting to think I was going to actually need to use some of that data I extracted from Paradeus. You know, the resurrection things I found." She casually starts swinging her legs. "I don't know where I would have to go to get some of the equipment, but I think I could source most of it."

"I'm not dead."

"But you should be!" She smiles at me, and I finally notice the almost desperate look to her eye. "I listened to the doctors talk as they sewed you up. You're about thirty seconds away from a trip to the morgue if this train dies. Funny thing that, the train had a power surge while you were asleep." Her hands start to twitch. "I had to wire you into the backup power, then fix the train as fast as I could. I just got it moving."

"Good job."

She pinches her nose. "Verdammt, Hadwin."

"I think the point was that your position isn't stable." Aleah picks up. "If the train goes, so do you."

"I can't change that." I bite out. "And I did what I had to to keep you safe."

"I don't want you to keep me safe." 45 hesitates, eye flicking over to see Aleah. "Well… I do. But right now, you can't. You've been doing more and more risky things just to get us out of danger. The farmhouse, Rud's Mansion, Kruševac, and now Tallinn…"

"I've been getting better."

"But we're fighting a war." A new voice jumps in. RO walks in, her clothes slightly charred, a few holes in the hem. "It's no place for an amateur."

A sour taste develops in my mouth. The doll standing at the foot of the bed and I had somewhat resolved our differences, but- "Who was it again that dragged me into this mess?"

"You had outs." RO counters. "And, in case you forgot, you were never meant to see actual combat."

"That really worked out." I roll my eyes.

"No, it didn't. The plan was for you to be back on base, and have time to learn to command dolls while hanging out with us and slowly trying to get you attached to us and vice-versa. Then, as Gentaine tells me, you and Sop went driving out in a buggy and didn't come back until you had blown up a building on top of yourself, survived that, and then went and took out a Paradeus FOB."

"Uh-huh, but-"

"Then we tried to stick you in your house, where you'd be out of harm's way while Gentine finished up her contract with Mayor Panagos. You decided to go join 404 on an infiltration mission instead of staying in bed." She rubs her hands over her face. "Then 45 contacts Paradeus-"

"They contacted me." 45 bites out. "And I did what I did because-"

"Yes, I understand." RO dismisses 45. "But it still put him into a position where he had to fight. After that… well… you just kept getting involved." RO sighs deeply and uncrosses her arms. "I'm going to be honest. Watching you try so hard for us, even after you realized we- I betrayed you, that's the kind of thing that really sticks with us dolls."

I wait a few seconds for her to continue, but she doesn't. "So, now you want me to stop."

Aleah nods. "Because you've proven your point. We understand how much you care-"

"I'm not doing this to prove a point! I'm doing it because I love you!" I yell, then realize what I said. "You're all precious family to me. I'm not going to- to sit by while you fight!"

"You are, because right now, you have no choice." RO's voice hardens. "Right now, you need to realize you're not strong enough to help us. Back when Anisim was toying around with you, underestimating you, you were able to come out on top. Now, there's a genuine military force after us. We're not properly equipped to handle it, and you've been doing this for a single month." Her voice softens a bit. "Let us do our best to get out of here, and then once it's over you can grow stronger along with us. You don't need to risk your life unnecessarily."

"No." Aleah's eyes narrow, and 45's fingers start to drum on her legs, but I ignore them in favor of staring back at RO. "I'm not going to sit to the side. If I'm out there, it makes us that much more likely to survive and go home. I'm not going to give up that chance, no matter how slim." I raise my right hand, which still has three silver rings on it. "I made a promise. Hell, I made several."

RO's face colors slightly, and she looks away.

"There's a vault on this train." 45 says abruptly.

My attention shifts to her. "Huh?"

"There's a vault on the train. Y'know, if I thought it'd work, I'd toss you in there and lock it up for the next three days." She continues. "That way I wouldn't have to worry about you somehow getting yourself hurt."

I blanche.

"Of course, it wouldn't work. 416's too loyal to you, she'd let you out. Or, you could just command Aleah too. She's not allowed to say no to you."

I shudder at the reminder.

"Or, there's SOPMOD. She'd let you out if you asked her, and so would any number of the dolls that are part of Echelon 11. Even some of the ones that aren't. I don't even know what you'd do once you got out in your state, but you'd probably manage to get your head stuck in the barrel of an Uhlan cannon." 45 turns to face me fully. "So, I'm not going to put you in a box, as much as I want to. Instead, I'm going to ask you. Please, please, just stay safe during the upcoming battles." Her hands clasp around mine, her fingers twisting the ring matched to hers as she looks at my face. "I don't think I'd be able to handle losing someone as important as you again."

Unbidden, the footage from Sop's point of view that Dandelion had shared comes to mind, with 45 staring into space and not handling reality at all. I taste blood and realize I had bitten my lip pretty hard. I raise my arm to wipe my lip on my sleeve, and my eyes catch sight of Aleah's small frown and RO's fidgeting.

"...b-but… I…" Tears well up in my eyes. "I can't handle it. I can't handle letting you go off and get yourself killed. I just… I just want you to be safe, and I can't make you safe when you're out there and I'm in here."

Aleah lays a hand on my head. "We understand."

"More than you know." RO grunts. "Hadwin, look. I know that you want to help. I know how you feel about wanting to protect everyone. You've done a remarkable job of it for being a human. But, just this once, stay off the battlefield. You can watch. Hell, give orders. Stand with Gentaine, Kylie, and Mikhail as a Commander, since that's your rank now. But, stay off the front lines."

"..." I look down at my chest, and the dull metal sheet embedded there. "I can't even though I want to."

45 snorts. "Ja, I wonder how long that's going to last. I'm half expecting Anisim to show up and jab you with even more chemicals, or maybe you'll suddenly start absorbing collapse fluid and gain a healing factor."

"...Actually," I start.

"Hadwin." 45's mocking tone drops. "You're not a superhero."

"I know that." I rap on the metal plate with my metal hand, resulting in a dull thunk. "But P90 told me that the nanites from Anisim's blood run off collapse fluid-"

"Okay, hold up, you just said several unreasonable things." RO interrupts me. "The nanites in Anisim's blood? What does that have to do with you?"

I lick my lips. "Uh… so, when I beat Anisim to death, I got a lot of his blood on my wounds. There were nanites in his bloodstream, and P90 was able to reprogram them. They… uh, they're powered by collapse radiation, as far as I can tell."

RO's eye twitches. "Hadwin, I know that you trust this AI in your head-"

"What?" 45 turns to stare at RO. "What AI?"

"You didn't know?" RO tilts her head. "The neural cloud in his Linker grew a personality."

45 continues to stare at RO for a solid few seconds before turning back to me, registering that I'm wearing the Linker at the moment, and almost instantly pulling a cable out of her arm. It's three quarters of the way toward my head before Aleah manages to get her hands on the smaller dolls' arms and hold her back.

"45?" RO steps forward. "What's wrong?"

"It's Parapluie!" She snarls. "How didn't I recognize-"

"I can't be Parapluie, or Dandelion would have taken it." RO argues.

Aleah frowns at the mention of Dandelion, but doesn't let go of 45.

"Actually…" I scratch my head. "Dandelion did take her. I just got her back last night."

45 stops resisting Aleah's grasp and her arms fall into her lap. "But, that doesn't make sense. Linkers have neural clouds, but there's no personality matrix to base itself off of."

"I don't know." I shrug. "But she looks and acts like P90."

45's eye looks around the room for a few seconds as if looking for something. "Can I talk to it?"

I glance at the so-far quiet P90, who shrugs. "Sure."

45 once more reaches the cable around, this time Aleah doesn't stop her as she plugs it in.

I see some data scramble on my display, but I ignore it and try not to think of anything stupid-

"Hello."

I blink.

A girl I hadn't seen in a while is now sitting in the room. Dull green hair, and looks very similar to 45's. Her eyes don't have normal pupils, but instead have five pointed stars emblazoned on them.

"40?" I ask aloud, the surprise making me completely forget the multitude of other people in the room.

RO and Aleah look around, but obviously can't see anything. P90 wrinkles her nose at the newcomer.

45, however, is completely still.

"You can see her?"

"Y-yes."

"And you know her name?"

"Er… I met her that one time when you were helping me after P90 died. You had to go, and when you left she came out and talked to me."

40 waves at 45 and me, thoroughly unconcerned.

"I can recall telling you not to wander around." 45's voice is cold. "Seems like you really can't follow instructions."

"I'm the one who met up with him." 40 comes to my rescue. "After all, I wanted to see the man you fell for."

45 blushes slightly. "W-wait a minute. Don't change the subject, you met him back then?"

"Yes." 40 smirks. "And I gave him a little gift."

45's eye shuts. "You planted the Parapluie in his Linker."

"I did! And look at what a strong will she turned out to be." 40 looks P90 up and down, causing P90 to recoil.

45 turns back to me. "Hadwin, I'm borrowing your Linker."

"Okay… but, don't hurt her." I cover the switch of my Linker so 45 can't force it off.

"I promise I won't hurt her… as long as she's not going to hurt you." 45's eye half-lids. "Just let me talk to her."

"...Okay." I send warm feelings P90's way, and she smiles wanly before I click the switch-

Ow. I hadn't noticed but she was hiding a lot of the pain for me.

45 removes the Linker from my head and threads her arm through it so it's easier to carry. "I'll be back later." She reaches out with her free hand. "Remember what I asked you."

Right.

Aleah waits until 45 leaves the room. "Who's Dandelion?"

RO starts. "Oh, right. She's… er, M4's Parapluie that combined with all of the failed Nytos in Tallinn and is inhabiting one of their bodies."

Neither I nor Aleah can find words.

"Okay, I think I have a bit of explaining to do."

---

RO spends the next few minutes describing the circumstances of Dandelion's creation as she understands it, but her explanation ends with "You know what, just ask 15. She's been in on this whole thing for a while now."

After that, she and Aleah leave together to discuss something, but I'm distracted by the arrival of two others.

15 and Sop walk in just after RO steps out. Sop raises her arms in the air and cheers. "We're back~!" while 15 just silently walks over and collapses on the bed beside me. 15 smells like gunpowder and coolant, and I can see the orange-y red liquid staining her white sun dress.

"Are you okay?" I ask, my hand subconsciously finding her forehead and brushing her hair back into place.

"I'm fine. Dummy link got splattered in front of me though. It was close." Her hands reach out and grab my arm. "I made it though."

"You did."

Sop sits down into the seat beside the bed hard. "Phew, I'm beat."

"I didn't know you could get tired, to be honest." I reply, though most of my attention is still on 15. "I thought you had endless energy."

"...Well, I could still scrap some more of the bastards, but it's starting to get boring." Sop admits. "They're only sending low level units to harass us for now. I wanna fight something big."

"I'm sure we'll get a chance later." I say.

"Yeah." Sop closes her eyes.

A comfortable silence descends as Sop nods off and 15 continues to remain curled up by my side, allowing me to straighten out her hair.

Eventually though, my mind wanders and my mouth moves before my brain catches up. "Sop, why am I plugged into this train?"

"Ah, well... I'm kinda not too good with humans." Sop's eyes open slightly, showing she wasn't actually asleep but just staying still for once. "I'm not good enough to put you back up to one hundred percent."

"No, I'm not asking that." I frown and tug on the cables gently with my free arm, mindful not to disconnect them. "What allows you to move around without being tied to an electrical grid?"

"Oh, that's easy! We have these generators that work off food and generate electricity to keep us running for a few hours. Same as you, I guess, but we make electricity and you make, um... human juice."

"How big are these generators?"

"Not too big." She says. "I bet I could make room inside you for one." She frowns. "Might cause more problems though."

"Yeah, no thank you. Damn." I curse. "Scratch that idea."

Sop looks at me in surprise. "You want to become a T-doll?"

"No." I shake my head. "I just don't want to abandon you all to the mercies of this next mission."

"Hmm..." She sits down on the side of the bed and furrows her brow, more concentration than I've ever seen on her face before. "I guess an option would be to install the battery portion of the power unit into your exo suit, but that would leave it pretty exposed. And, you wouldn't be able to get out of the exo suit cuz you'd die if you took it off."

15's hand grips my arm as my gaze drifts out into space. "Hadwin, no."

"No what?"

She glares at me. "You are not plugging yourself into your exo-suit permanently."

"15-"

"Hadwin, NO! Look, we'll just wait until after we get clear of Paldiski, and then we'll see about fixing you up properly." She sits up properly and grabs my hand in hers. "We can find a way that's less permanent, but I don't think we have time to before the mission. Just wait a bit."

I lick my lips. "I understand what you're saying."

"But?"

I don't answer her right away, and Sop fills the space with her voice instead. "It wouldn't be permanent. We'd just need a way to swap power sources safely anytime the commander tries to get out of it."

"Sop, Hadwin's the kind of idiot to get out of the exo-suit without a backup source." 15 deadpans. "So I'm even less enthusiastic about letting him just unplug himself. Besides, he's still injured! If he is able to get up, he's going to be fighting and he's in no state."

A thought strikes me, but I quash it. Still, it seems the two dolls near my bed realize something is up.

15 sighs heavily. "Hadwin… what are you thinking?"

"It's…" I frown. "I don't know if it's even possible, but it would get around the problem of me being almost dead. Probably."

"Probably, he says." 15 grumbles.

"What's your idea, commander?" Sop's eyes open up wide.

"Er… so, remember those nanites that leaked into my bloodstream from Anisim after I killed him?"

There's quiet in the train car.

"No, this is the first time I'm hearing about this." 15's voice grows sharper. "Hadwin, you need to tell me about these things!"

"W-well, we've been busy-"

She shoves her hand in my face, and I see her fingers are splayed out to show me the shiny silver ring. "We have been oathed. It's a promise to take care of each other. I can't take care of you if you're not going to tell me things."

"...You're right." I shake my head. "Sorry about that. I, er, the reason I healed up after you rescued me from Kruševac was that Anisim's blood started to mix with mine, and he had a lot of nanites in his blood."

"But why would they fix you?" 15 frowns.

"I'm guessing RO didn't tell you then, but I have an OGAS program in my Linker." I tap the box, careful not to shift it. "It's only started to be mature enough to show itself to me, and I see her as P90."

"...That at least explains all the weird things you were able to do in Kruševac." 15 mutters.

"Wait, so you have another person inside your head?" Sop perks up. "Just like M4!"

"I suppose." I ruffle her hair. "Anyway, P90 reprogrammed the nanites in my blood to heal me up instead of killing me, and there should still be some left. If I can get them to activate…"

15's still got a skeptical look on her face. "Right, so we're just going to trust that these nanoscopic robots are going to be able to magically restore you to full health."

"If they could do that, I don't think I'd need this." I gesture to the mess of cables. I'd have to actually ask her, but maybe we could use those to speed up the healing process."

"That wouldn't solve the problem of getting you unplugged though." Sop frowns, deep in thought. If this was a cartoon, I think I'd see steam fuming from her head. "So, are you sure you don't want a doll reactor?"

"Sop-" I start, but she cuts me off.

"See, it's actually a really good solution. You can plug yourself into standard outlets instead of eating, and when you eat you get more energy out of it than you would with your regular stomach. We wouldn't have any reason to fear you unplugging yourself, and I already know how to maintain a T-doll core. Not to mention, we have a whole mechanic bay at Griffin, so we can keep you in tip top shape."

15 looks at me uneasily.

Sop continues regardless. "I can build a new heart and oxygen diffusion system that's loads more efficient than your old meat ones, and they'll be stronger!"

"Well…" I bite my lip.

15 lays her head back down on my chest, pink hair splaying out over the metal plate. "I don't like it."

One one hand, I want to jump on Sop's offer. Sounds a lot better than trying to sit here in the train and just… wait until either the dolls win or I slowly starve to death on a ghost train. On the other hand…

"I'm sorry Sop, but I have to think about this for a bit."

"Okay." She nods. "I'm gonna work on the plans anyway, since we only have a few hours to get to Paldiski and if you decide to go ahead with it, we're gonna need all the time we can get."

Sop leaves with a wave.

"I thought you'd jump on it." 15 mutters.

"I would, but..." I gently cover her hand with my own, the rings clicking together. "I forgot that I have several other people to answer to now. I really should consider your opinions, and 416's and 45's before I make such a life changing decision."

15 doesn't say anything for a bit. "So… you'll listen to what I have to say?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Good." She nods, cheek still on the metal chestplate. "If… if you get fixed up, you're going to be fighting, right?"

I know it's not what she wants to hear, but- "Probably."

"Is there no way to convince you to stay back, away from the fighting? You almost died… and I wasn't able to be there for you. A-and, as much as I want to believe that Paldiski is going to be a quick in and out operation, I don't think that's going to happen and then I wouldn't be able to help you."

"...I feel the same way, but about you. I wish we could all just go home, or that I could at least fight in your place." I comb her hair with my fingers, slowly as not to strain my poor body too much. "W-well, I could talk to Gentiane about doing more commander-y roles in the upcoming battle."

"That… well, it's not perfect, but if you promise not to unnecessarily enter the fighting I guess I can get behind getting you unplugged from the train."

"Mmm."

The door to the cabin is slid open harshly, and both 15 and I start as 416 barges into the room. Her face is dirty and her cheek has a large gash that I can see the metal endoskeleton through, but she's mostly intact. Wordlessly, she walks over to the side of the bed opposite to 15 and sits down on the edge of the bed.

I reach my metal hand out and gently brush her skin, pushing the hanging flap back into place for a moment before it once more succumbs to gravity. "Glad you're okay."

"Expecting anything else would be foolish." She looks down at the bundle of wires coming from my chest. "It seems you're stable, at least for now."

"Yep." I give her the best smile I'm able to muster. "Still need to figure out what I'm going to do during the submarine base raid."

416 drums her fingers on her leg. "I would hope you'd be up and about by the time we get there."

"We do have a plan." 15 says slowly. "But it's not exactly guaranteed."

"Actually, I wanted to ask you about that." I draw 416's attention. "See-"

I lay out Sop's plan and she watches me intently until I finish describing it. "So, you need to see if you can get enough healing from these nanites." She looks away for a brief moment.

"Yes."

"...What happens if you don't have enough?"

"Then I guess I'm stuck in this train regardless." I shrug.

"Not good enough." Both 15 and I look at the tall girl as she stands up and puts her hands on her hips. "While this train is armored we're about to go into a city drenched in collapse radiation and potentially full of hostiles. If Commander Hadwin isn't able to get out of the train in an emergency, he may be dead regardless of if he participates or not."

While her voice is calm, I can see her hands are balled up into fists.

15 speaks up next. "But, what can we do if there aren't enough nanites? Unless you have some more of that drug Anisim used…"

"Man, if only we could get some of that Paradeus tech." I grumble. "Sure, that one serum causes cancer, but that's a slow killer comparatively."

"They have a lot to answer for." 416 sits back down. "But we can worry about them after we're done with Paldiski."

"If we survive." 45 struts in, takes a glance at the two dolls on either side of me and decides to just climb up onto the bed and walk over me. "I talked with her."

She hands me the Linker, and I look down at it. "Is she…?"

"She's alright." 45 sighs and sits down right beside my head, her back leaning just hard enough on my shoulder so that I can't forget she's there. "I promised not to hurt her if she wasn't a threat, and she isn't."

"You don't sound thrilled about this." I note, tugging the Linker into place but not turning it on.

"I'm not mad at you, really." She rubs her face to try to calm down. "I just… I didn't realize what 40 had done to you. If I had… Well, it explains a lot. And as far as I can tell, she has nothing but the purest intentions to help you. Sickening, really."

"Well… that's comforting at least." I look at 15. "Uh, I'm going to talk to P90 a bit. Can you explain the situation to 45?"

"No need." 45 places a hand on my head. "I was watching you through the cameras."

"...Good enough." I reach up and flick the switch on the Linker.

P90 blinks. "Whoa, I'm still alive!"

"Was… there any doubt?"

"Trust me, there were a few moments when I thought she was going to start rewriting code haphazardly to completely destabilize my personality. I guess in the end she decided I wasn't a threat." She slaps a smile onto her face. "So, what can I help you with?"

"Right." I look at the three sets of eyes focused on me before continuing my internal conversation. "I need to know if I still have enough nanites to get me fixed up after a major surgery."

"Oh." She ponders for a few moments. "It's not actually a question of quantity. They haven't been purged from your bloodstream yet, but they would need building material so they don't cannibalize you, and more power."

"More power?"

"Right. They're not designed to run for long periods of time, or to fix as much damage as you've been sustaining… At least, according to them."

I blink. "They can talk?

"Not really, but I can ask them to report statuses, and get small capabilities rundown whenever I query them." P90's ghostly image shrugs. "In any case, unless we get you more power for the nanites, they're not going to be able to complete the job."

"And we can charge them up?"

"Only if you find a good source of collapse radiation."

This gives me pause.

"Hadwin?" 45 asks.

"Oh, uh… well I have the nanites, but they need to be charged up, and it looks like they take collapse fluid." I had honestly forgotten about that part.

"Of course they do." 416 glares at 45. "I thought you said that this OGAS program wasn't hostile."

"She isn't." 45 glares right back. "So I can only assume she's telling the truth."

"A dangerous assumption…" 15 mumbles.

"Alright." I close my eyes and rub the bridge of my nose. "Assuming I get them charged though… I need to ask if you would all be okay with me getting a new doll reactor put inside my stomach."

"Why ask us?" 45 says flippantly. "You don't listen to anything else we say."

"Because I made a promise to you." I wave my hand about. "And I'm going to try to be better about actually listening to you."

"Oh, so you'll stay locked up in the vault if I ask?" A smirk crosses her face.

15 and 416 frown at 45, but I just try not to let my hands curl into fists. "I… would consider it, but-"

"Ja, ja. I know. You're too much of a misguided bleeding heart." She stands up off the bed. "I agree with 416. It's too dangerous to leave you strapped into the train. I'll go summon Gentaine to see if she's willing to go through with this."

"Gentaine?" I wonder aloud.

"She's in charge, and having you consuming resources, not to mention needing some collapse fluid makes this an extremely hazardous situation. She needs to be informed."

"Let me call her. Honestly, I'd rather all of you were here with me for now, instead of running all over the train." Looking down at my hands, I see that I can't quite keep them steady. "This can work… right?"

"Sop's an idiot savant." 15 deadpans. "If anyone can make a prosthetic in an hour, it would be her."

"There should be more Epiphylla flowers in the area." 416's gaze turns toward the door.

"Doctor Leonid should be available unless one of the mechanics got hurt again." 45 rocks back and forth slightly. "He's got a good track record of keeping everyone alive."

I nod at those expressions, noting that all three of them are going along with the plan. "Thank you."

"Just don't go dying on us." 45 pokes my cheek.

"I don't plan on it." Internally, "P90, call Gentiane."

She picks up almost immediately. "Hadwin?"

"Yeah… hey, can you come to my train car? I have something I want to discuss with you."

She arrives relatively quickly, with Kalina at her side. She must have already been near this section of the train. She hardly looks up from her datapad as she enters, obviously busy. "What is it?"

"I have a plan to get myself unglued from the train."

She looks up from the datapad and looks at the four of us in the room. "...Is it another crazy plan?"

"Ja." 416 nods. "Of course it is."

Gentiane pinches her brow. "Okay. Okay, I'll hear you out, but I need 45's help in the meantime."

45 hops off the bed. "Well, it seems like I'll be going anyway."

Kalina smiles at the one eye'd doll. "We got a coded message, and we were working on it with the help of M4 and RO, but-"

The door slides shut, Gentiane pushing it closed with her foot. "Alright, tell me this plan."

I explained in detail to her the outlines of the plan, including the Epiphylla flowers 416 had mentioned and 15's stipulation that I stay with the commander group during the upcoming mission."

"You must be joking." Commander Gentiane shakes her head once I finally finish. "That's crazy talk."

"It's the only way I can think for me to be of any use." I shake my head sadly. "I can't command anyone from the back lines, from in here, I can't do anything either, and what happens if the train gets destroyed? The KCCO are still out there, following us."

Gentiane looks at me critically. "I can see the merit, but if you do this... there's no coming back."

I stare at my left hand, replaced with a mechanical one two weeks ago and also my chest, recently swapped out with a haphazard iron lung.

"If it means less burden for the dolls... I don't think I care."

"It's not less of a burden for us." 15 snaps. "We have to worry about you getting shot, or the pump failing-"

"It's just replacing the worry of him being caught stuck in the train if it gets captured or destroyed." 416 interrupts.

15 sits back upright, eyes bright through her loose hair. "The commanders will still be inside the train like sane humans, so that's still a concern!"

"If he's able to walk out of the train, it's still significantly less-"

Gentaine snorts. "Yes, yes, you can argue about that later." The smile slips from her face as she looks into the distance. "It's not a good plan."

"No, not really." I shrug. "But what's the alternative?"

Gentaine's hand tightens on her datapad. "That… is a very good question."

---

It takes about an hour for everyone required into the room, from being busy with more important things to just being asleep, trying to calm themselves down before the battle ahead. In that time, the pain had spiked and forced me to take some painkillers. These had fogged my brain slightly, but I'm still awake enough to answer questions, though I find it hard to keep my eyes open.

I managed to get through the description of what I wanted to do, but had to defer to a very nervous Sop and the mechanic Vance to do the description of the new implant.

"It's not a bad design. I'm skeptical of these nanites, but…" The doctor shakes his head. "With the time frame we have, it's probably our best shot. At least, theoretically."

"'Theoretically' doesn't cut it." Commander Gentiane shakes her head. "We need this to work. I'm not risking his life on a gamble."

"We don't know how he'll respond to the process. Usually, melding flesh to metal is done after some tests for rejection, and carefully monitored. You're asking us to attempt-"

"I already made the necessary charges!" Sop interrupts. "We got this guy to check it over too!"

Vance nods. "It's true, SOPMOD is actually pretty competent when it comes to designing technical things."

"See?"

One of the doctors pinches his nose. "Yes, but this isn't going to be as simple as removing the old and inserting the new things. We're going to need to hook it up to the implant here and also need to remove this area to make room." He gestures to my stomach, but my eyes are just a bit too heavy to focus on what he's pointing to.

The other doctor shakes his head. "If I hadn't heard him say he wants this, I would never have agreed to this. This is way too risky."

"As much as I hate to admit it, I agree. I just don't feel like we have a choice..." Gentiane says.

"We kind of don't." Kylie says, poking her head around the doorframe. "Unless we want to leave the kid strapped to the train like WAU got to him."

"Like… what?" Gentiane turns to face her colleague. "The 'wow'?"

"It's… from a game." Kylis sighs. "Nevermind that, I was saying that we really shouldn't force him to remain stuck to the train."

"That's a given." Gentiane nods. "Okay then, if we're all in agreement-"

"Excuse me, I still have concerns." The second doctor, whose name starts with an L I could have sworn, speaks up. "Just because we had an engineer and a doll make a prosthetic, even if both of them are very good at mechanical things, that doesn't mean that they're going to get this right."

"But!" Sop protests, but Gentaine raises a hand.

"Doctor Leonid, how long would it take you to get him fully ready to receive an implant?"

"...Maybe an hour or two. There's a lot of flesh we're going to have to graft just so he doesn't leak. We left a lot of burnt flesh in there that was sealing the metal to him."

"Bleh." I say out loud, tongue feeling thick.

"Bleh indeed." The first doctor crosses his arms. "Do you think you can build that contraption in two hours so we can test it before we open up Hadwin here?"

Vance scratches his head. "With Sop's help, yeah."

"Totally!" Sop crows.

"Then you two had better get on it." Doctor Leonid sighs. "If we have any hope of getting this done before we hit Paldiski, we need to get on this."

Sop practically bolts from the room, Vance hurrying after her.

The first doctor looks my way. "Well… hopefully with your history of implants not being rejected, it should be fine. If we peel you open and the doll's device doesn't work, your chances are very slim."

"...I trust Sop." I nod. "But I understand."

He claps his hand on my shoulder, and his nametag comes into view. Doctor Adnan Qayyum. Man, I really should have learned his name earlier.

"You're a brave kid." Doctor Adnan smiles at me.

"Nah, I'm just a moron that needs to stop dying." I smile wanly. "Just ask the dolls."

He shakes his head. "Alright, Doctor Leonid and I are going to go clean up. If you have anyone you'd like to contact before going under, now is the time to do that."

He gets up, and I realize that the reason he said it that way was…

I'm gonna call home.

P90's already sending a call through before I have the chance to tell her to.

The phone rings once, twice-

"Galanis."

"Hey dad."

A pause. "Hey Hadwin. Still keeping safe?"

"Erm… about that."

I proceed to give dad a quick rundown on the fact that I need surgery, while trying to downplay what actually happened to me. I can tell he's not buying it, but he doesn't say anything about it.

"So, it's a risky surgery?" He asks.

"...Yes." I admit. "But I'm currently just dead weight, and we're going into a combat zone."

The line is silent for a bit. "Son, I can only trust that you're doing what's best for yourself. If you're going to go through with it, I won't try to stop you."

"Thanks." I release a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. "I… I just wanted you to know that I'm alright for now, and… well…"

"Sometimes surgeries go poorly." Dad sighs. "Well, let me tell your mother real quick, and then I'll put you on with her. She'll want to talk to you."

"I can tell her."

"With how you described this to me?" He snorts. "No, I think I don't want her to be panicking."

"...Right."

I wait on the line, listening to mom's shock as dad describes to her an even lighter version of the tale I had tried to spin to dad. He only takes a minute or two before mom insists on taking the phone.

I brace myself-

A video call prompt opens up.

I look at P90, who licks her lips before nodding.

"Hello mom."

"Hadwin, what is going on?"

"Well, dad just laid it out for you, yeah?"

"He did, but…" I can almost hear her hands being wrung out. "I'm worried for you."

"Well…" I look around at the empty room. "It's not like I have much of a choice but to have the surgery."

"I understand, but… Oh, I wish you'd just come home."

I close my eyes. "Yeah, I wish I could just come home too."

"With those robots."

"Yeah." I smile despite myself. "With my girls."

"They do seem to care about you, so at least you'll have support." Mom says, almost as if to herself. "And, this surgery has a high chance of success?"

"It's… less likely to kill me than if I don't take the surgery."

She doesn't respond for a bit.

"Well… Keep in touch."

"I will mom."

"Goodbye. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Call me when you're back awake."

I smile. "Of course."

The call hangs up, and I close my eyes and try to relax. Maybe a quick nap-

"Commander?"

Maybe if I leave my eyes closed…

Sop's sharp fingers gently pry my eyelid open and she looks at my pupil. "...You're not really asleep, are you."

"Hi, Sop." I gently push her away, careful not to jerk her arm around so I don't poke my eye out on her claw. "What's up?"

"Weeeeeell we kinda hit a snag in the plan." She taps her fingers together removing the need for me to guard my face. "See, there's not really any more Epi… there's no more of the collapse radiation flowers."

"Oh. Shit."

"Yeah." She licks her lips. "45 is talking to the Parapluie in your head, um, P90, and she said that we barely have enough power to keep you from dying by patching seals, but not the full scale integration we're trying to do."

"Alright." I frown. "So, I'm screwed."

"W-well…"

"Sop?"

"P90 said she can make some conventionally powered nanites if she uses the energy left in them, but these ones will be feeding off your body heat."

"...Okay?"

"I don't really know about it, but apparently if these modified nanites got out, they'd eat the planet alive, so P90 said that we have to ensure that she doesn't lose connection to your body."

I glance at the projected doll, who turns away and whistles innocently. "Still not getting why you're so nervous about this. Aside from the eat the world thing. That seems like an exaggeration."

"It's not." P90 says. "It's dangerous."

"It's some kind of goop." Sop frowns. "I wasn't paying attention. In any case, I was talking to the doctors and they think we can set up a way to keep the Linker in contact with you during the surgery."

"Okay. And this is really important?"

"Yeah. We're gonna have to design a whole head brace and stuff because if she loses control of them for any length of time, like even a few nanoseconds, we'll all end up being eaten by goop." Sop's face twists in disgust. "I don't think it sounds too lethal, but everyone else was upset."

"There's another solution." P90 says casually.

"What?"

Sop looks at P90, and I realize that P90 has opened a video call to Sop so she can participate.

"I can't lose connection with you if you graft the Linker into your spine."

I pause for a moment then repeat my earlier question, not sure if the painkillers are still dulling my head a bit. "What?"

"It should be easy to hook up the support hardware to the power source of the T-doll reactor." P90 starts to count on her fingers. "I'll be able to keep you alive much longer because I can manage the nanites on a more permanent basis, and it means you'll never be caught without a radio or the capability of using an exo-suit."

"...Forgive me if I'm wrong, but are you suggesting that we implant your core and support hardware into my body?"

"Yep!" Sop suddenly dumps a whole set of virtual plans into the virtual space. "We can integrate most of the equipment into the upper chest cavity, since you're not going to have two lungs anymore. The nerve interface still needs to be close to the base of your spine, but the length of the cable isn't long enough that you'll notice lag on the interface."

"...Hold on, how the hell is this easier or less risky than just securing the device in place?" I look between the two of them. "This is going to affect my nervous system!"

"We're already doing a lot of that." Sop points at the rest of the design. "After all, if your body isn't getting the correct signals, it will feel like you're choking all the time even if you aren't, so we're going to send the correct signals."

"You still need to know if your body isn't getting oxygen, or if your heart isn't working." P90 chimes in. "We're just connecting to the same signals your brain already receives."

"All we would be doing is utilizing unused space in your chest and making you work a lot faster." Sop crosses her arms. "It'll be a little bit more dangerous, but according to Doctor Leonid it's possible."

"This seems…" I hesitate. "P90, call-"

416 and 15's face appear in small windows.

"Commander?"

"Hadwin?"

I wait a second, but 45 must be busy. "P90, give these two the plans."

15's the first to respond. "So, you'd be able to use Level 2 like a doll?"

"Well-" I start, only to be cut off.

"If he goes through with this, he'll be one of us." 416's voice is level, but her face has an interesting expression. What is it? Confusion? Anger?

No, it's wonder.

"It's dangerous." 15 says. "We're already doing a complicated surgery."

"But, I'll be able to significantly improve the back end." P90 speaks up. "And I'll be able to use the nanite system to keep Hadwin alive a lot more efficiently."

15 seems to be having an internal debate, and then another face appears in my vision.

"15, what's going on?" RO's eyes lock with mine. "Oh, something's up?"

Before I can move my tongue, RO's eyes widen, having already seen the plans in full.

"What the hell, Hadwin?!"

"This wasn't my plan!" I protest.

"I know, but why can't anything be simple around you." RO pinches the bridge of her nose. "All Gentaine wanted was someone so her dolls wouldn't go crazy, and now we're here. I'd ask where we went wrong, but I'd argue that goes back to before I joined Griffin…"

I glance at the others, but nobody else dares to speak as RO ponders this information.

"Well, it's your body, but I'd suggest doing it." 15's mouth opens to protest, but RO isn't done. "If nothing else, it'll keep you alive long enough for us to get you, next time you do something stupid. My guess is that it will be sometime in the next six hours."

"Hey! I promised to stick with the other commanders!" I protest.

"Uh huh, and I expect that to last… oh, maybe thirty minutes, maximum."

"Yeah…" 15 sighs.

"I doubt we could keep him off the battlefield." 416 shrugs. "More survivability is always good."

I cover my face. But, I really mean to hold to my promise… "Okay, fine. As long as nobody objects, I'll get the Linker implanted inside me too. Just… be careful, okay? I don't want P90 to die."

The call is ended, and Sop goes back to modifying the new lung and heart.

…I better call dad back.

That conversation goes well, but the follow up conversation when mom called me back did not.

Over the next hour and a half, I field a bunch of calls from mom, all with new concerns she's imagining up, most of them not completely unfounded but still, at this point I'm pretty much committed.

In between the calls, some dolls drop in here and there to say hi, but I can tell that we're kind of past the pleasant talks phase of the operation, everyone I see hurrying here or there and not stopping to fix damaged clothes and skin unless it's absolutely necessary.

Oh look, another video call. "Hi, Mom."

She has tears in her eyes. I'm in bad shape. She knows it. She can see through the video link, after all, though P90 has cleaned up how I look.

Hopefully.

"Hadwin, are you sure about this?" She asks, echoing the question she had posed to dad asking him if I was sure.

"Yes, Mom. I don't want to live off of this iron lung." I grin weakly. "After all, I'd rather not be bound to this train forever."

"I'll be praying for you." She says. "And I want you to call me as soon as you wake up."

"Of course."

"I love you. I will always love you." She says.

"I love you too, Mom."

She nods, and cuts the connection.

There's a knock on the door and I look up to see a bunch of people, led by Gentiane. "Preparations are ready. Last chance."

I shrug. "Let's get this done then. Got a submarine base to raid."

I carefully set the phone down, contemplating that one way or the other, that was the last time I'm going to have that conversation with Mom…

"You'd think so." Gentaine shakes her head. "But there's two problems with that."

"...Huh?"

"First of all, we're raiding nothing. We're going there to see this starfish."

"I don't know what a starfish is, unless we're talking about the five legged sea creature."

Gentiane ignores me. "The second, even if we were, you're apparently sticking with us."

"Well, I promised." I shrug. "What more do you want?"

"A time machine, 30 million credits, and a Field Agent that stays home instead of getting himself gutted by Hydras."

Sop strides into the room, holding the large chest plate. Wires sealed with foam dangle, and I can see some clear tubing that is supposed to replace my veins and arteries from my heart.

Somehow, seeing that makes it a lot more real.

P90 looks at me. "Well, time to turn me off. Just turn me back on after you take me off."

I frown at her. "I thought you were going to be busy keeping the nanites at bay?"

"I will be." She points to one of the dangling cables. "See that? It's going to clamp on your neck. I'll be using that until the internal one can be permanently installed and the outer clamp will be removed before you're sealed back up."

"This is wonderful. Can you just sedate me and get it over with?"

"Working on it." Doctor Adnan jabs into my arm a needle attached to an IV bag. "It'll only be a few minutes."

"Wonderful." I close my eyes. "Just make sure I wake up, yeah?"

Before P90 can provide a witty remark, 416 bursts into the room.

"I'm going to watch!" She declares.

Gentiane sighs. "416, I told you-"

"You're not my commander." She points to me. "He is."

"Yes, but I'm his boss, and this room is crowded."

"I don't trust that dog not to kill him." 416 growls.

"I do. She's been perfectly capable in the past." Commander Gentiane rebukes the illegal T-doll. "And this wouldn't be possible without her."

"It's too dangerous. We can postpone this until after the mission." 416 argues, to no avail.

Wait, this was her idea! Now she's getting cold feet?

I try to extend my hand out, but the effort seems too great at the moment.

"You have no legal authority over him, and even if you did, it was his decision to make." Gentiane's voice grows softer. "You can watch, okay? I'll tell the doctors not to interfere."

"What about-"

"Not enough space for the rest of your squad. I don't even know if you'll really fit, but I'll order them to make an exception."

"Fine." 416 grumbles. "Can I talk to him before he goes under?"

"Sure."

416 steps up next to my bed and looks down at me. Her eyes are sharp, but not hostile. "Commander."

"Yeah, 416?" I mumble out.

"...I'll be waiting for you. You're not allowed to die on me." She hesitates. "We're all waiting for you. If you die, I'll kill you."

I smile. "Thanks, 416."

She nods and turns away, "See you on the other side."

"Yeah."

---

When I wake up, the first thing I notice is the distinct lack of pain.

It's honestly a bit worrying. Pain has become my companion these last four weeks and lacking pain makes me think that something's missing.

Like, say, my legs.

I open my eyes, only to find the world looks just a little different than I am used to. It's still the interior of the train car, but I'm no longer hooked up to a ton of wires. Instead, I'm free to move the blanket aside... and I realize that I can see pretty well for it being dark in here. Also, I can wiggle my toes. That's a good sign.

My chest is still shiny metal. Probably going to be that way for the rest of my life. I touch my face with my real hand. Yup, thin scars around my eyes and jaw from the nerve scanner… apparently.

P90's face appears for a moment. "I'll give you an explanation later, I'm a bit busy." And then she winks back out of existence.

Oh. Oh boy.

"I need a mirror." I grumble under my breath. The scars don't feel deep, but I don't know if you'd be able to see them normally.

"Hmm? Commander?"

I look over to see 15 giving me a stare. "Hey."

She nods, then turns to the door. "He's awake."

Sop bursts into the room, stopping short of attempting to knock me out of my hospital bed... barely. "Commander!" She settles for grabbing my hand and tearing up again. "You're okay!"

"Yep."

A few more T-dolls enter the room crowding up the limited space. S.A.T., RO, 15, 45, 416, SV, and NTW are all close at hand, with more of the dolls looking in from the hall.

I make eye contact with M4A1 and she opens a channel to me. I instinctively reach for the Linker, but it's not there.

Well, that's new.

"Commander, I'm going to get a doctor to check you over." She smiles. "Mission starts in an hour. I hope you're ready."

"As ever." I respond.

M4A1 turns to walk away, closing the channel.

Wait, no. My head's still foggy from the medication.

That was Dandelion.

"-next time, I'll add missile launchers!" I catch the tail end of Sop's exuberant description.

"Sop, no!" I bark at her. "No missile launchers!"

"Aw, but-"

"Okay, everyone out." Gentaine and the doctors walk into the room. "We've got to make sure everything is fine."

416's eyes flash and she plants her feet. "Nein. I will attend-"

Gentiane turns around and snaps at the doll. "You will not! I need to make sure he's going to survive, and you are going to go back to planning whatever party you're working on. We're not going to be long, just…" She tries to calm herself, breathing in and out slowly a few times. "Just let me make sure he's okay, alright?"

15 frowns, but starts tugging on Sop's collar. Before she leaves, she makes eye contact with me, a message popping into my consciousness effortlessly.

"I'm glad you're awake."

I give her a smile and a wave as she leaves the room, Sop's protests gradually fading down the train corridor.

The dolls gradually filter out, protesting being pushed back out but not really having much recourse.

I could have intervened, probably, but I decided not to since…

Well, I need to talk to Gentaine. Now seems like as good a time as any.

Once the door is closed and the doctors start to examine me, shining bright lights on my facial scars and scanning my artificial chest cavity, Gentiane sits on the chair directly across from where I'm sitting down.

"So. How do you feel?"

"..." I open my mouth, but nothing comes out for a few seconds. "I… I feel healthy." My mechanical hand comes into view, and I flex it a few times. "Like nothing these past few months happened."

"Mmm. That… OGAS inside your head told us she repaired as much of you as she could, but I figured I wanted to hear you say it." She takes a deep breath. "Good news first, or bad?"

"Bad. Might as well end on a good note if we can."

"Your metabolism went into overdrive during the procedure, and you now weigh about eight kilos less than you did when 404 pulled you out of Tallinn."

"Oh."

"Yeah, you need to get to work putting more into your body before you collapse."

"I don't feel-"

Suddenly, several alerts pop into my vision, reporting several critically low body fat percentages in certain areas on my body, several vitamin deficiencies, and a countdown to projected self cannibalization of muscle mass.

P90 just shrugs when I glare at her. "What? I hid those so you could focus on more important things."

"Thanks for that." I mutter.

Gentaine glances into the empty corner I had been looking, then dismisses it. "The good news is that S.A.T. has been leading the others around to make a big dinner for you after she heard about what happened. It should be done soon."

That is good news. "I need to do something for her. She's always looking out for me."

"She's certainly not the only one." Gentiane looks down to her lap for a moment before meeting my gaze again. "I'm not sure how widespread I'm going to make this next bit of information. Can I trust you to keep things to yourself?"

I hesitate, recalling the events of the past few weeks.

"I guess… well, I don't really have a choice, so I'm going to tell you and just trust you not to spread it around unnecessarily. We've got a new doll on the train that goes by Dandelion-"

"We've met." I wince as Doctor Leonid pries open my eye and shines a light directly into it.

Gentaine starts slightly. "You did? I told her to… doesn't matter, this will speed up the explanation. Dandelion's got some frightening mental capabilities, and… well, we're counting on her to store a copy of every doll on the train."

"Every doll."

"Yes. The local backup server was destroyed in the last attack from the KCCO, meaning that any dolls we lose from now on can only be restored if Dandelion survives."

I don't have anything to say to that, eyes focused on hers intently.

"While I know you'd rather be out with the dolls on the frontlines, I need you to escort Dandelion around. I'm not going to lie to you, if the KCCO decides to press us hard, we're going to have significant casualties. I want to bring as many of them home as possible."

The grimace on my face is almost an answer unto itself. "I already promised 15 and 416 that I wouldn't be on the front lines." I bite out. "Guard duty will be fine."

"Excellent." She reaches out and claps my shoulder. "I'm going to get some rest. You go out there and make some memories with the dolls. It might be the last thing they recall when they wake up back at base in a week or two."

A shiver runs down my spine, her words echoing in my head as she leaves.

"Clean bill of health." Doctor Adnan announces, startling me out of my gloom. "Looks like those nanites did their job."

"I'd ask if we could expand their use to other patients, but I fear we'd have some rather unpleasant issues to overcome first." Doctor Leonid strips off his nitrile gloves. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? No abnormalities when breathing?"

I suck in a lungful-

"Well, I suppose my chest feels like it's not expanding as much as it should."

"Just around the plate area?"

I nod, and Doctor Leonid pokes at the new shiny plate that makes up half of my chest. "Hmm… give us a shout if anything happens."

"Hey." I draw the attention of both doctors. "What are you two going to do when the fighting starts?"

Doctor Adnan smirks. "Why, we'll be on the back line, healing any suicidal idiots that get shot up."

"We may be less useful in wars fought primarily by dolls, but I don't think anyone is excluded from this battle. We've got to keep everyone alive that we can."

"...Got it." I stood up for the first time in what felt like several days, but according to the clock in my head, it was just about a day. "I guess it's time for me to do my job."

"Good luck."

P90 guides me toward the nearest door so I can exit the train, climbing down onto the gravel below the tracks and pointing me in the direction of a group of dolls crowded around a campfire.

It looks like Calico is singing again, M200 plucking away at her guitar. S.A.T. has a large pot crudely hammered out of a sheet of metal sitting on the fire, and she's adding large quantities of ingredients to the pot while SV stirs it mechanically.

Instead of heading right over, I let myself spend a moment to take it all in.

Sop has dragged the rest of her team into a rousing game of arm wrestling, RO and 15 currently struggling against each other as Sop and MDR cheer them on. M4 and Dandelion are sitting off to the side, talking quietly.

NTW and Ithaca are sitting together, quietly drinking from their cups in front of the fire with Springfield.

Tokarev seems to be leading an all-handgun dance party, though she's the only one twirling around. I can pick out Mk23, Five-seveN, and Welrod in the light of the fire, but I'm not really sure about the others.

FAL, FN2000, FNC and the new P90 are currently making some sort of structure out of branches collected from the surrounding area.

G41 is running around with MP7 and Honey Badger, the trio circling the main group as they chase each other around. AEK is polishing her motorbike.

416 has G11 in her lap, stroking the smaller doll's hair as she sleeps peacefully.

45 and 9 are huddled together nearby, talking to each other in whispers.

Aleah's sitting by the fire by herself, the light of the fire reflected in her eyes.

A lot more dolls are hanging around as well, ones that I hadn't had the chance to talk to in any significant manner.

I wonder how much I'm going to regret not knowing them.

Then, on a darker note, I wonder how much grief I'd save myself by not learning who they are.

I shake my head and walk into the light, Aleah's gaze shifting up to meet mine. She pats the log beside her, and I sit down in front of the roaring blaze, oddly happy that the party as a whole hadn't stopped just because I walked in for once.

"I'm glad you're awake, Hadwin."

"Me too." I grin at her. "I've got to say, maybe we should see about hiring Sop to design prosthetics from now on."

Aleah looks down at my shirt, tugging it up to look at the metal gleaming in the night. "I feel she would be too busy ripping dolls to shreds for parts to make enough prosthetics."

"Fair point."

She lets my shirt drop and looks at my face. "Have you decided on your role in the upcoming battle?"

"...I thought it wasn't a battle for sure yet?"

"It's not, but there's an extremely high likelihood." RO sits down on my opposite side, rubbing her arm. "After all, it wouldn't make sense for the KCCO to follow us all the way here and just watch as we get the starfish."

I nod. "Alright. Though, I still don't know what this Starfish is."

"None of us do." 15 comes around in front of me, looks to my sides, and then decides to just turn around and sit in between my legs facing the fire. "Aside from maybe Dandelion over there."

I look back at where M4 and Dandelion are conversing, neither of them acknowledging or being acknowledged by the dolls around them.

Aleah also looks over her shoulder, but her eyes glide right past the duo. I wonder how she's doing that…

"Dandelion isn't sharing." RO picks up where 15 left off. "So we just have to trust that it ends up being worth it."

"We don't know anything at all about it?" I look at RO.

"We… know it's something that can control several pike nodes." She shrugs. "But there's something about it that makes everyone else want their hands on it."

"Sangvis might just be there for the pikes. They might be able to reestablish themselves if they can force everyone else back with some pikes." 15 points out.

RO throws a stick onto the roaring fire. "Maybe. I get the feeling it's more though."

Behind me, AEK's bike roars to life, and as the doll drives her prized possession around the clearing, I can see Sop and G41 chasing it around in the glow of the taillight.

"It's not worth dwelling on right now." RO says, slightly louder than she needs to. "Everyone else wants it for some reason, so we're going to get it so none of them can use it to end the world or whatever. We'll figure it out later."

"That's a pretty cavalier attitude." Aleah notes.

RO nods. "It's that or pull out all of my hair worrying over it."

I briefly wonder if she pulled out all of her hair if it would grow back, but keep my mouth shut.

S.A.T. notices me before any more conversation can happen, bringing over a massive dish of soup that smells absolutely incredible. "Eat! Eat!"

I accept the bowl that probably has about ten portions in it, unable to keep a straight face. "So, this is my week's rations?"

"You must eat. Miss 90 said so."

I eye the P90 building that… whatever with her team before realizing that she means my internal P90. "Didn't know she was talking with anyone."

"I figured that I might as well." My mental P90 steps out of the fire, arms crossed and cocky grin on her face. This time, I notice that all of the dolls in the area look her way. "I have the processing power now, and it's not like I'm keeping myself a secret."

I lower the oversized bowl onto my lap, and realize the bowl is another shaped chunk of metal like the pot S.A.T. was tending to over the fire. 15 is forced to vacate her position, and before she can recover, S.A.T. has taken her spot so she can watch me eat. 15's cheeks puff out, but she doesn't say anything.

Under S.A.T.'s gaze, I spoon some of the soup into my mouth.

"Mmmm!" I huff around the hot food. "Ish guud!"

S.A.T. beams. "Once you've finished that portion, there's enough for seconds!"

I swallow the food. "Uh, this should be plenty."

"I was told you'll need a lot of energy to replace what you lost from your surgery." S.A.T. insists. "Just eat, and if you're hungry at all when you're done, I'll have more for you."

"Thank you." I start to spoon the soup into my mouth, noting that after it passes my throat, it seems to just drop into a void inside of me instead of slowly warming me as it passes through my system.

SV comes over as S.A.T. goes back to tending the soup. "Hey there, Commander."

I gesture with the spoon since my mouth is full.

"SV, did you end up getting your things in order?" Aleah asks.

"Yep! Wasn't too hard, I didn't bring much with me." SV sits down on the ground by the fire. "I assume you're packed."

Aleah nods, as do several of the others.

"I've got a few things I need to wrap up." RO admits. "I've been busy getting everything in order for tomorrow."

"This counts as preparations for tomorrow." Aleah mentions, and RO nods.

I look back and forth, but neither of them seem like they want to clarify. My mouth is too full of soup to ask before the conversation moves on.

"Why hello Hadwin." Two arms drape over my shoulders, and 45's chin comes to rest on my head. "Finally decided to join us?"

"Doctor decided that mating human flesh to machine required a bit of a checkup. Seems I passed though."

"Mmm, wonderful." Her arms drop from my shoulders and I can feel her hips bump into mine and she uses my back to rest hers. "So, what's this I hear about you playing escort tomorrow? Got another pretty girl all lined up?"

"Sure."

SV's head jerks upright, and RO just sighs.

"Oh? With who?" 45 asks.

"Dandelion. As I'm sure you're aware."

I can't read 45's expression, but her back stiffens up. "You're escorting… the Nyto?"

"It's what Gentiane wants." I shrug. "It's-"

"Can I trust you to keep things to yourself?" Gentiane's voice rings in my head.

I bite my tongue hard enough to draw blood.

15 looks up and around the large bowl over her head. "Hadwin?"

"It's nothing." I lie. "I'm just supposed to escort her."

All of the faces around me show various levels of doubt, but nobody says anything.

Mk23 and Tokarev run over after finishing their latest dance number. They either don't notice or ignore the heavy air, bouncing up to the group.

"Hey commander! Did you see us?" Mk23 beams.

"I've been trying to teach them ballet." Tokarev says quietly.

"I saw. You're doing your best." I pat Tokarev's head.

"Damned by faint praise." Mk23 huffs before looking around. "Looks like I missed my chance to hang onto you. I'll leave that to RO and Aleah for now." She winks and grabs Tokarev for another round of dancing.

I scoop more soup into my mouth, then look to either side of me. Aleah's calm as always, but RO's looking away into the darkness as if hiding a blush.

Dammit Mk23. I can't tell if you're trying to change the subject and cheer us up or just cluelessly making things more awkward.

"Well." I speak loudly, trying to overwrite Mk23's words. "Tonight is really nice, what with being super close to a red zone."

RO latches onto my change of subject. "It's because ELIDs tend to wander. There's bound to be a few around, but we're close enough to the shore that most of them would have migrated away naturally over time."

"We actually did a few cleanup patrols earlier." 15 comments. "Nothing much to see."

I nod, face still full of food. Looking down into my bowl, I see that I had actually managed to eat most of it and yet I don't really feel full. The wonders of mechanical stomachs, I guess.

Aleah notices my look and reaches out for the edge of the oversized bowl. "Would you like me to get you seconds?"

"I think I can handle it." I say, but she stands up with the bowl in her hands like it weighed nothing.

"I'll be right back."

"...Thanks."

SV watches her go. "She really takes her role as Hadwin's adjutant seriously, doesn't she?"

15 frowns. "I thought RO was his adjutant?"

"I was told to help him, yes." RO's eyes slide over to meet mine. "Which makes me your adjutant… right?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it's Aleah." S.A.T. and Aleah come back from around the fire, the bowl refilled. "After all, she's the only one of us that can perform her duties, being Hadwin's personal doll."

"Whoa." I raise my hands up. "When you say it like that-"

"I am the only one unfettered by conflicting orders." Aleah turns up her nose at RO. "I will do exactly as I am instructed."

RO's orange eye twitches. "I have almost unlimited command authority."

"But you also have other obligations." Aleah sits back down in the spot that had remained unoccupied as she got me more food. "I do not."

Suddenly, I don't want to be sitting in between these two, but S.A.T. places the bowl in my lap as if to pin me down.

I give her a look, but she just beams at me.

"Alright." I clang the spoon on the edge of the bowl to draw attention my way. "What exactly does being an adjutant entail?"

"It's-" RO starts, but I point the spoon at her.

"Hold on. SV?"

SV blinks. "Uh… it's an important position that allows a doll to be with her commander for most of the day. She's tasked with ensuring that your orders and tasks get done in a timely manner. Also, they tend to be in charge of dispatching orders to the dolls since most commander's aren't on Level 2 or plugged into a microphone all day."

"Thank you." I nod. "So, the real answer is that P90 should be my adjutant?"

P90 looks up from the fire. "I'm pretty sure you want someone who can talk with humans too. Right now I'm not too good at that, being a ghost."

"Right." I sigh. "RO, aren't you already super busy with things?"

"It's not like it would change much." She grumbles. "Half of my orders are already 'just go help Hadwin' or 'clean up Hadwins messes'."

I nod. "And… well…" I scratch my head. "I'm not really comfortable ordering Aleah around."

Aleah nods. "I understand. However, as I do not share your reservations, I would like the opportunity to stand by your side more often."

I take more soup into my mouth as I ponder this. I really should pick one of them, and it's not like I have many other options…

I look back over my shoulder to see 45's shoulder, her back still pressed into me. She looks around as she feels me shift.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing." I shake my head. She wouldn't be a good candidate for adjutant-

Ow. Her elbow is sharp.

"Can… can two dolls be adjutants?" I ask slowly.

"Not at the same time." 15 says. "Some commanders rotate through them. Gentaine rotates through the members of Echelon 1, for example."

"So I can assign RO sometimes and Aleah others?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Okay. RO, you're my adjutant during the first half of the day, and Aleah you're on duty during the second half."

"That works." Aleah nods.

"...No complaints." RO replies.

"Great." I look down into the bowl. It tastes good, but good lord there's a lot of it. I'm starting to get sick of the taste just from sheer quantity. "I guess I should finish this."

"Commander."

I look up, spoon halfway to my mouth. 416's arms are crossed, eyes bright in the darkness as she's silhouetted in the firelight. "Hey 416."

"I would like to dance." 416 states. "I told M200 to play a song for us after this one."

"Er-"

S.A.T. grabs the half-full bowl of soup and 45 reluctantly pushes me forward, forcing me to hop over 15's form. 416 expertly catches me from falling over.

M200's guitar playing shifts to a song I'm only barely familiar with, and 416 adjusts her grip to lead me in a dance.

"Well, aren't you assertive?" I smile at her.

She nods, her features barely softening even as she blushes. "We might not have tomorrow, so I will get what I want tonight."

"Heh. Well, don't tell the others or I'm never gonna get any rest."

She tilts her head slightly. "It wasn't my idea. I think everyone already agrees."

"Great." I put that aside and focus on dancing a waltz… or whatever this is, with 416. "Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"I will be." Her eyes follow mine exactly, unblinking. "As long as I can spend some more time with you."

"And you'll get what I can give you." I glance toward the crowd watching from the sidelines. "Which may not be a lot."

"It's fine." A small smile crosses her face. "This time, I was first."

---

One by one, I dance with the dolls.

45 was next, grabbing me from 416 maybe just a second or two before it was really her turn. M200's guitar starts playing a different tune and this time I manage to actually do a bit of dancing instead of just being led by 45.

After her, 15 took her turn. She didn't talk the entire time, instead just laying her head down on my chest the entire time, eyes closed.

AEK leads a panting Sop and G41 back after that song comes to a close, joining the crowd around the fire and dance area.

I halfway expected that I was going to head back to my seat after that, but SV grabbed my hands and dragged me into a lively jaunt. After she finished, she got surrounded by some of the others but I hardly have time to inquire before the next song starts and I'm once more asked to start dancing.

After SV, NTW stands up and walks right up to me, offering her hand. She's a stiff dancer, but I was able to take the lead for once and only stepped on her foot once.

After that, Aleah joined me in what had become the dance area as more and more of the dolls decided to get up and participate. 9 drags 45 up, and Sop grabs RO, among others. Thunder and Calico end up stealing the limelight once Calico stops singing and the two pull off some fairly fancy partner moves.

After Aleah, S.A.T. and Ithaca each get a turn, both of them easily swing me around like I'm the doll to be posed as we spiral around the area.

After that, there's a short break where the members of ATK set up their gear, M200 puts away her guitar, and I suck down some water.

With more energetic music blasting from speakers, the next few dances are a lot less romantic and a lot more frantic.

M200 does her best to guide me through some ridiculous routine now that she's not busy playing, and I just had to hope that nobody would save the video of me trying to dance for blackmail later.

Mk23 and Tokarev came by, both of them dancing together and Tokarev encouraged me to try to keep up with them. I didn't of course, but I tried for their sake. I'm starting to think I need to learn to dance.

It's about this time that I started to really feel the burn in my abused body. Sure, P90 had done a lot to fix me up, but I'm still just a bit too human to be at a hundred percent.

Then, a claw lands on my shoulder and Sop drags me into the most active dance yet, swinging me around with enough force to lift me off my feet at times. Sometime during this, RO gets dragged in too, and the three of us spin away until the song ends.

Then sop leaves as quickly as she had shown up, her eyes spotting M4 and dragging the reluctant doll into the firelight.

RO looks at me and starts to turn away.

I had a split second to make a decision, and knowing I may regret it later, I reached out and stopped her. "Would you like to dance?"

RO seems to have an internal debate for a moment before hesitantly nodding.

The lyrics of the song are not romantic at all, but seem oddly appropriate as RO and I move in the reddish glare.

You want me to forget you?
Okay, forget me, too
You tell me you hate me, baby
Yeah, I bet you do
I'm keepin' you waiting
But I won't wait on you
Want me to forget you?
Okay, forget me, too

Once the music ends, RO hesitates to let me go for a moment, before leaning in and whispering into my ear.

"Thank you, Hadwin."

I nod and let her walk away.

Then, I realize I have run out of dance partners for the moment. I doubt 9 or G11 would want to dance, AEK is busy playing music even if she wanted to… That's most of Echelon 11.

"What, I don't get a turn?"

I look over to see P90's form has changed to show her sporting a nice ballgown.

"Well, if you insist." I gesture for her to join me. "Just make sure the others can see you, I don't want to dance by myself."

"Oh come on, that'd be funny!"

With her control over my nervous system, our dance was flawless, and it even felt like she was in my arms, spinning me around. Alas, once the dance is over she once more fades into the night and I'm left to stumble over to my seat by the fire, where many of the members of Echelon 11 are chatting away.

G11 crawls into my lap as soon as I sit down, curling up and falling asleep instantly.

9 turns from where she's hanging onto 45 to talk to me. "Hey, Hadwin?"

"Yes?"

"You want what's best for 45-nee, ja?"

"Ja." I answer in German. Well, I think it's German. It'd be awkward if it wasn't. "Why?"

"Because…" She licks her lips. "W-well, she wants to sleep with you tonight."

"That's not going to be a problem." I shrug. "She's free to sleep in my room whenever."

9 winces. "No, I mean, sleep with you."

"...Oh. Why are you telling me this?"

9 rolls her eyes, where they finally land on her self-proclaimed sister. "Because she's been oddly insistent on it, and if I've learned anything about her it's that when she's acting like this she's usually up to something." She frowns. "I don't see how shagging you would be part of any plan, though."

"...I really don't want to talk to you about this." I mutter.

"Me neither, trust me. Just… I dunno, make sure she's not doing this out of obligation or… whatever?"

"Duh." I nod. "I'd hate that as well."

She relaxes. "Thanks, Haddy."

"No problem, Reina."

She glares at me, but at the corner of her mouth I can see her lips curling. She goes back to talking with 45, and I start talking with the dolls in the area.

I end up having a small conversation with each of the dolls out here by the fire, some of whom I only met just now, and I made sure to learn their names and a little bit about them. As much as it'll hurt later, I felt… obligated to memorize their names. Others I have known for a bit, but don't talk with much.

Webley. Badger. KSVK. AK-47. Groza. 9A-91. Five-seveN, and the rest of her team. The new P90. Springfield. JS9.

Many, many more.

So many lives that I have to account for. I made a resolution in my heart that I'll get as many of them home as I can. Not just their memories, but their bodies too. Original cores intact.

Eventually, the party ends, and I head for my room, the caboose at the end of the train. Before I can get there, I'm stopped by one last doll that I didn't get a chance to interact with.

"Hey Haddy." AEK leans back on her bike.

"Hey. Quite a night, huh?"

"Yep." She pats the saddle of her bike. "Wanna go on the last ride?"

"Last…?"

"Gotta pack her onto the train, and who knows if we'll ever get a chance to ride again? I figure I'll go for one last farewell ride and then I can be satisfied that I rode her as much as I could."

"...Yeah, let's go." I nod. "P90, tell the others so nobody panics."

"Done." P90 winks. "Enjoy your ride."

AEK starts up the bike, and then we take off into the night.

"Haddy?"

"Yeah?"

We talk over the Zener network so as to be heard over the wind.

"I was thinkin' about confessing."

"Oh? To who?"

"Groza."

I blink. "Okay, didn't see that coming."

"Well… it's kinda one sided." AEK admits. "As far as I know, she just thinks I'm the weird motorcycle girl that talks to her all the time."

"If you're gonna go for it, now is the time. No point in procrastinating."

"I know… I'm just a bit scared, you know? Like, if she says no or if she says 'I don't think of you like that' or-"

"AEK, I'm not one to say anything based on my screwed up situation, but like… I gave out three rings because I realized that if I didn't I'd regret it. Like, really regret it, especially if something happens to them. Just buy an oath ring and ask her out."

She laughs. "Dolls don't buy oath rings for other dolls!"

"Why not?"

She flounders a bit. "Uh… well… it's a thing between a commander and a doll."

I roll my eyes. "Okay, then just get her a ring of some other sort."

"Out here?"

"I ain't got answers, I'm a dumbass."

She chuckles. "Alright. It's gotta be high class though, for a high class lady."

"Wouldn't it be better if it was rougher, like something that would remind her of you?"

"Eh… that'd spoil her beauty."

"If you say so." I shrug.

We chat a bit more about options before circling back, stopping outside the caboose.

AEK lets me off, telling me to just go ahead.

I climb into the caboose, yawning, when I stumble over someone on the floor.

Several sets of eyes light up in the dark.

RO's and 45's are easy to spot, their eyes distinctive. As my eyes adjust to the dark, I find 15 on the bed with 416, Aleah in the corner, S.A.T. is who I managed to trip over, and SV is asleep sitting in the chair next to the table.

The caboose is absolutely jam packed.

"Oh, there you are!" 45 says in a chipper tone. "We've been waiting on you."

"Uh huh." I look around. "Well, I'm gonna go get changed. Give me a minute-"

S.A.T. hands me a t-shirt and shorts, the pair that I have been using to sleep in after I started being joined in bed.

"Great, thanks." I look at the door further into the train. "So… Let me through?"

"I want to watch." 416 says bluntly.

"It's nothing we haven't seen before." RO states.

"Riiiiight…"

This is gonna be an interesting night, I can tell.

---

I wake up once more buried under a few dolls. It's not unexpected, nor is it unpleasant. In fact, it's become oddly comforting to have 416, 45, and 15 all clinging to me when I wake.

What I hadn't expected was the two new ones draped on the bed: Aleah and RO.

I guess it shouldn't be a surprise after last night, but…

I look up at the ceiling and take a deep breath, chest straining slightly against the metal of my new lung. "Man, if only time could freeze right here."

"It can, but not for you."

I start, but held down as I am by five dolls I don't go anywhere. "Wha-"

Dandelion comes into view, eyes a dull yellow glow in the night. "Have a good time last night?"

"Y-yes? Why are you in my room?"

"Well, I need to ask you something." She leans down over 416, who is still deep asleep. Which… is weird, right? She's not actually sleeping- "Have you made all the memories you want?"

I shiver. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"I'm about to back up every doll on this train. Even 404, even Anti-Rain." Her mouth splits into an over-wide smile. "Anything that happens after this will not be backed up. None of the experiences, none of the conversations, none of the gestures of affection." She gestures to the rest of the room.

"...Wait, so this is where they'll remember to? Nothing after?"

"No. It's like making a backup of a computer… because, in a large way, it is." Dandelion tilts her head. "But in other ways, it's really not?"

I look at the sleeping faces of the dolls in the room, and toward those outside the caboose as well. Those that I had forged bonds with, Ones that I had become friends with, or even fallen in love with.

Is there anything left unsaid?

No… I don't think there is.

No regrets, right?

I can feel my face draw tough as I set my mouth into a grim line.

"Do it."

---

Author's note:
Yes, the song is a MGK song. I know he's a dick, but his music is catchy.

Anyway, we've got one, maybe two more chapters before the end of Field Agent. It's finally approaching the end so I can stop thinking about it.

Also, with this chapter, I finally finished off the flash forwards that I set up two years ago. It's been such a long time since I first formulated those ideas, and yet the core of the story went… mostly where I wanted it to. It's been a ride, for sure.

Next up: Polarized Light.