Ambrosia Chapter 20: Wisteria, a x/1999 fanfic

Ch 20 Wisteria - love poetry, protection and believed to have powers with a vast range: from comfort, divine blessings, healing grief, love, soften and soothe. I also love Wisteria from what we see of it in series like Wish and CLAMP school detectives.

Happy anniversary to this story (and as a result an extra-long chapter update)!

Summary: Kamui and Subaru work to overcome insecurities and (Subaru's very) overprotective habits. A deeper dive into 48 hours where Kamui had been unconscious/Subaru's mental pain waiting anxiously for Kamui to wake up. Certain, overprotective statements cause tension between the couple, but with the hope they can sort things out, having a much-needed, relaxing date out in Kyoto.

Chapter 20: Wisteria

~Returning~

"You're back," Kamui murmurs, softly and all too hesitant. His tone seems apprehensive to go any louder as though it might push his boyfriend, standing at the door, away.

Subaru swallows, grasping the tightness in his chest with his hand. 'I never want to make you have that expression.'

Of course, Kamui was still ethereally beautiful, to his beloved. Yet, his body was shaking, lips quivering. Those glossy violet-blue eyes and red circles around tell him everything.

Kamui's lips continue to tremble as he looks over his pained boyfriend. His lips were forced to make an assuring smile, whilst his whole body shivered... His hands were clenched at either side of the bedsheets. 'Are you okay would be a stupid question now… wouldn't it?' So Kamui refrains from saying more.

There are rings of redness around beautiful violet-blue. While it doesn't detract from any of the shimmering beauty, Subaru does feel pain looking into them.

"I'm back," Subaru returns gently, after what feels like a lifetime of silence. 'I couldn't… bring myself to break down here… not when my emotions were so unstable.'

Truly only, moments had passed, but it felt like an eternity. This time Kamui's lips form a soft, tiny smile, but this one is genuine.

"I-I'm sorry for…" Subaru trails off, as he returns to sitting at his lover's beside. 'Countless things' his brain supplies.

Kamui shakes his head rapidly. "Mnn-Mn."

There's a feeling of returning home when Subaru finally fully sits down. Though knowing it was a risk to worry medical personnel further, Kamui didn't stop. His precious person feels impossibly far away.

So Kamui leans over and loops his arms securely around his fragile lover. He pulls his previous person in tightly, not allowing any arguments.

"Ka-" Subaru starts with a yelp. He wasn't given a moment to process. Suddenly, Subaru found himself brought up against a familiar warm chest. One with a wildly beating heart, wishing only to bring the shaken man a sense of love and security.

"I'm here, Subaru," Kamui ensures, hugging his precious person tighter. He rests his cheek on the top of Subaru's raven head, creating a safe haven.

'But I felt so close to losing you…' "Y-yeah…" Subaru mumbles, still quite shaken up. He does find himself breathing more regularly. He listens and finds an incredibly strong, steady heartbeat.

Tentatively Subaru leans into his love. His hands brush tentatively across the areas where bruises and cuts once have been. His fingers only feel the smooth skin underneath, as though no harm had ever come. He finds himself, curious, and lightly checking across a healed chest he was cuddled up against.

Kamui bites his lips. He has an idea of what his lover is doing, but it doesn't make his heart calm from the touch.

"I'm right here with you," Kamui promises, feeling his own heart lurk at the memory. His lips settled on the top of a silky head. Kamui kisses the crown of his boyfriend's head languidly. "I'm sorry… I-I… you were crying…" The words come out hurried, and mixed. He doesn't get the message out.

'I worry about you… I made you cry. I left you in pain for over two days… unable to do anything.'

Subaru cuddles against the comforting chest. "It isn't your fault…" There's a sense of incoming peace the longer he listens carefully for a melody of life. The way Kamui's heart skips a few beats when he's nuzzled, makes Subaru's lips rise.

Tired orbs of gold and emerald look up, seeing the puffy and watery violet-blue eyes. "I'm sorry I made you cry…"

"I...I just…I could feel you were in so much pain…" Kamui shakes his head. He brushes his nose through the locks of raven-black. "I want to be with you when you feel like that…" The traces of forest green peer through, with the sunlight gracing the room. He breathes in the man's natural scent mixed with a faint trace of a chamomile shampoo. It's soothing.

"I love you so much," Kamui expresses, placing gentle kisses on his precious person's head.

"I love you too," Subaru returns, heart, starting to flutter, as though it were the first time feeling just like this. "More than I can… possible say…" 'That's why this hurts so much…'

"And Kamui-"

"You are awake," One of the nurses interrupts with a sense of unbridled relief and joy. She calls for a few other staff members, likely to get the main doctor. The lovers' little catchup session has to pause for some routine checkups.

It had been a long journey to this point...

Day One

The mission had gone so smoothly until now, so why?

Of course, the answer has been right there: the very nature of his line of work. Being an Onmyouji came with unpredictability, especially being the head of the most powerful family. The toughest jobs were given for him to handle, his own powers incredible. Though compared to his beloved Kamui, he knows there's no contest. That didn't mean he wanted to test his lover's strength.

There was little time to intervene for what Kamui was about to do. "Subaru! Watch Out!" He had shouted, before lunging and effectively knocking Subaru out of the way.

The sound of glass bulbs breaking and the fallen chandelier was unnerving. Subaru had taken a second to rise to his feet. He was soon taken aback at how effortlessly Kamui could knock him off his feet. It shouldn't be a surprise.

'I've always known you're incredible…' Subaru reflects rising to his feet and attempting to make his way over to Kamui. He'd thank him, or apologize for his blunder, making his precious person worry. 'I'm the one who should be protecting you… but I…'

"Ka… mui…" Subaru lost his breath, watching his beloved bolt up with an unnerving sense of power.

The golden aura surrounding Kamui was blinding, as his eyes were taken over by a raging sort of glow. "How dare you…" Kamui growls, the words slipping like poison.

Loving violet-blue eyes, Subaru had grown to know, were turning ice-cold, void of compassion.

"How dare you…" Kamui calls again, stalking towards the spirits he couldn't see, but feels well enough. He knew well enough what they tried to do. That voice returns, though it falls from Kamui's lips, it feels like a new entity breathing the words.

"How dare you try to hurt what's mine!" Kamui snaps, a blinding ray of light begins to almost completely overtake his form.

Subaru swallows, feeling they were back to that time. 'Just like that final battle…' He recalls, attempting to rush through the blinding rays of energy surrounding the young man. Yet, with each step he takes, he finds himself stopped, pushed back. There's a sense of a wall, a barrier to keep him from the battle at hand. If one could call something this one-sided a battle.

'Please… you-you've never used this power since that day.' Subaru reflects, knowing fully, why that was. Kamui never had to do so until now. Until the young man started working beside him. 'I'm the one bringing you into a situation where you feel you'd need one.'

"Kamui, Please!" Subaru begs, rushing in to come as close to Kamui as possible. There's a shock, from the energy surrounding Kamui alone. Just the tip of the iceberg, this small portion of ki, was making every step the powerful Onmyouji make feel impossible.

Like a violent wind, he found himself being blown back, away from it all. Away from what Kamui was about to do.

'Why, now? Right at this moment…' Kamui hadn't exhumed an ounce of this power until now… 'Is it really all because… they tried to harm me?' It was hardly an uncommon occurrence, but still, looking back amongst the shattered glass and heavy gold frame of the chandelier, it could have been much worse than the few scratches he received. 'I made you the one to have to go and save me…'

"Kamui!" Subaru cries out to him, rushing in at every angle he can manage to break through this barrier, or what felt like one. The storm of energy surrounding Kamui was not fueled with the power to protect but an inhibited rage.

There's no way the spirits here, or anywhere in this world could know how huge a mistake they made. They awakened Kamui, fully opening Pandora's box.

While unable to see the spirits before, Kamui's powers start to grow, the longer he remains in this heightened state. Awakening. He sees the countless poltergeists, vividly. All carry the same hostile energy, wishing to cause harm. All because a tradition in their family was broken, because someone chose to be happy.

The thought of it all brought a fire within the world's savior. Brilliant violet-blue irises eyes became engulfed by a heated red. His body lit with harsh gold light, only growing brighter.

'This is… all from Kamui…' Subaru bit his lip harshly, every step forward only brought him back that much further. He couldn't even see Kamui clearly as the harsh golden light grew tremendously, resembling the shape of his perfect kekkai. Yet, its aim is to cause harm rather than heal.

'You didn't have this energy before… Not this much rage…' Not during that battle.

Kamui had never hated the other Kamui of course. No matter the circumstances, the unwavering devotion and love felt could never stray to hatred.

'Th-this can't happen… he's not even… he can't be in control of all of this! I need to do something.' Subaru found his thoughts screaming.

"KAMUI!" He screamed for his beloved to snap out of it. The desperate plea brings a bit of color back into those violet eyes. He leaves an opening, Subaru takes this opportunity to reach Kamui.

"Kamui…" Subaru pleads, certainly the only being able to come this close. He wraps his arms around Kamui from behind, pulling the boy back to his chest. "You… need to calm down now alright? I don't want you going too far or getting hurt!"

'Please, breakthrough Kamui.' Subaru's heart screams out his deepest fears. 'If anything happens to you… I…I can't go on from there…'

Kamui was torn between his emotions, overwhelmed, and closed his eyes. The warmth against his back brought out some of his calmer emotions.

'Please Kamui, come back to us… ' Those words would never fail to strike his heart.

"Kamui…" Subaru breathes, holding his beloved as the very lifeline he was. The one remaining light amongst the darkness brought in his world.

Kamui winced and he shook his head, attempting to break out. The thought…of what could have happened to his precious person was a little too damaging. This power, untamed and overbearing, took control.

His precious person was right with him, entirely safe, right behind him. His precious person was nearly struck by these vindictive spirits.

Kamui's eyes return to their fiery glow. The same storm of energy unleashes, but this time, Subaru can feel Kamui with him. He's able to touch, and know his love is here. At least, he was until those final moments.

An enormous amount of energy, heavenly light took over the room. With Kamui's ki radiating with the force of a hurricane, Subaru was blown back and away from danger. Kamui's energy formed into a dome-shaped burst of blinding light, bursting at the scene, and taking every opposing force with it.

By the time Subaru could rise to his feet, open his eyes to see, the light had faded. Not a single spiritual presence remained. Every single one was exorcised without a trace.

"Kamui…" Subaru quickly rushes towards his precious person. He wraps the smaller male up from behind. Kamui's ki was still running wildly, untamed, but gradually slowing enough.

"Kamui…" Subaru soothes his beloved, speaking gently. He quickly spins Kamui around to face him and holds him in such a tight embrace.

Kamui swallows, looking away with a deep sense of guilt. "I-I'm sorry….I just…" The guilty feeling became replaced with a raging fire. "I can't stand the thought of anyone trying to hurt you like that!" Kamui makes such a bold profession, and the depth to that is felt in the older man's core.

"It's okay, Kamui," Subaru murmurs entirely lovingly, lost in his bubble with his beloved. 'All that matters is you're back now.'

Comforting Kamui would always be a priority. He allows Kamui to harshly cling on to him, despite the pain from his incredible strength.

Kamui nods, snuggling into the crook of his mentor's neck.

"Kamui…" He purrs. Kamui flushes slightly, feeling warm air, from a tender voice whispering soft and soothing words.

"I'm not going anywhere," Subaru assures, happy to see Kamui ease within his arms. There's a troubling weakness in Kamui's usually brilliant smiles.

"We'll return home soon," Subaru ensures, whispering softly to his lover. 'I can never let this happen again… for you to resort to… and be engulfed with that much power…' And getting hurt no matter how minor the injuries, stung.

Kamui nods softly at this. He gently reaches for his boyfriend's cheek, dizziness blurring his vision. Though he hadn't made it to this point, exertion catching up to him, his glimmering eyes closed quickly.

"I'll be right here with you," Subaru softly ensures his weakened lover. Kamui has such a calm smile and trusting glimmering eyes. A soft nod follows as a tender hand brushes against Subaru's cheek. It's not a second after, those eyes close, and Kamui's head falls back.

The hand grazing Subaru's cheek begins to slip off entirely. He quickly clasps the smaller hand in his own, holding it like a lifeline.

"Kamui…" He calls, barely audible, but everything sounds so deafening around them.

'This can't…' Subaru couldn't bring himself to finish. He felt his last source of light collapsed into his arms. 'This can't happen, not… when… you finally came back from that…' While Subaru's hand slips to Kamui's wrist, he finds the will to breathe, knowing his love at least has a pulse. However, it is far weaker… than he felt comfortable with it.

"K-Kamui…" Subaru tries again, this time his voice comes out a bit louder. 'You'll be alright… you have to be…'

Caressing, and worried hands felt upon the younger man's cheeks, tapping them gently in hopes of reactions from the unconscious boy. Yet, the usually vivacious expressions do not form. Kamui's face has fallen as it has been passive.

'What… have I done?' Subaru would only find himself to blame. 'Hadn't I been more than careful…?'

Trembling, desperate lips pressed to the younger man's forehead. The hope for a true love's kiss awakening was just for fairytales. Golden-emerald eyes darken and slant, stirring with pain. There's a great heat Subaru feels upon his lips and under his hand.

"Kamui?" His cries fall from his lips, desperate. "Kamui? Kamui… please?"

How could I have overlooked something so vital? Of course, power like that would have its drawbacks…

Had he just assumed after becoming the true Kamui, he would be in full control?

This is all my fault… I… just never thought that...it would be your power to cause this...

"Kamui… please…" Subaru begs his precious person. He continues to touch and brush all along Kamui's face, neck, shoulders… everywhere he can reach in hopes of a reaction.

"Kamui!" Subaru's screams come bursting out. Certainly, being more than enough to draw attention from the mansion's visitors. Thankfully, their clients are entirely empathetic and come rushing in.

Not a word of the house's current state or even spirits descended crosses the heiress' mind. The spiritually in tune woman rushes over towards the pair. "What happened?"

Subaru doesn't even meet their eyes. He feels his heart sinking, as he fully shakes, barely managing to balance himself and his beloved within his arms. "Kamui…" Subaru calls out, seeing his entire world, every spot of light begins to dim. "Kamui… please…"

"My family has their drivers and there's a hospital minute away from here…" Miyuki offers kindly, feeling a protective and broken aura from the powerful onmyouji. The client feels hands on her shoulder, looking back to see her spouse grasping her arm.

"Is there anything we can-?" Alicia begins to ask. She halts, clutching at her chest as the sound of distress. Both of the client's eyes shimmer with deep concern, but no more is voiced.

Subaru doesn't look back, only shaking his head. It wouldn't do… and it could take too long. He shakes his head. "No… I…I'll handle this."

"It's not a problem though…" Miyuki frowns, looking worriedly over the weakened boy being held with desperation.

The kind-hearted blonde offers her own words alongside her beloved. "We can get you both there in no time… or anywhere you need to be-plus you seem a bit weak yourself so-"

'I can't waste any more time.' Yet, Subaru holds a hand up. He shakes his head coldly repeating. 'I'm the one responsible… here… how could I fail you like this?'

"It's Kamui so..." Subaru says in a murmur, tone indicative as if those two words explained everything. "I need to handle this." He ensures, with a somewhat apologetic tone for his quick departure. He's wasting no more time as he rushes out the door, not listening to any replies of his concerned clients.

"But wait! please you-" Alicia cries out. The younger of the clients attempt to stop the pained Onmyouji. Yet, she feels an arm wrap around her front, keeping her back. Her partner solemnly shakes her head.

Subaru was out the door mere milliseconds before desperately rushing over to a series of high-rise buildings. The concern for causing a scene is so far from his mind it's become obsolete.

Kamui… Subaru's mind replays in haunting detail. He clutches the warm body against his own. He holds onto that warmth as his only sense of sanity. Kamui was very much here… yet still… so far.

Kamui… Kamui… My Kamui…

The vulnerable man repeats the name as though it's the only words his mind is capable of processing. Even then he's not quite sure he can understand.

Subaru swiftly races from rooftop to rooftop at a speed he can't remember using since their battles last year. This speed rivaled only that of him returning to Kamui's side for that final battle. Though with a bit less fear he was too late. He might break thinking that we're a possibility with Kamui.

There were hopeful signs. Though they drowned out with worry, Subaru kept his eyes upon his lover's unconscious form.

There was no time to waste here. Kamui's powerful being and ability to heal so quickly was not something he trusted with just anyone.

So he descended, as quickly as he could allow himself without rattling the boy in his arms. A traditional tall and wooden medical ward awaited them. His clan's personal hospital was all he could think of for handling and understanding what came about from Kamui.

Subaru hadn't waited for a second to rush through the automated doors and into the main building. There wasn't a chance for a response as the older woman at the front desk opened her mouth to a greeting. It never came, as she found herself gasping. Her eyes rose as she rushed over to the clan's esteemed leader. But of course, the unconscious patient caught her attention immediately.

"Please," Subaru's voice cuts through the quiet of the medical center. "He needs help!" Subaru cried out, not above desperation. His arms were shaking as he clutched Kamui as tightly as possible. "Just suddenly he…" The young man in his arms, lying limp, burning up and reddening by the second.

"Please help him," Subaru pleads painfully. His dual-toned eyes darken, as they stare off into an abyss, his only lifeline being his unconscious lover. "You need to...please…help him..."

"Of course, we will," The woman assures, knowing just who she was speaking with. She grasped for a phone upon the front desk, mentioning some kind of code and the 'urgency' for treatment.

The very sound of the plea was enough to bring out several nurses from the back of the medical center. They rush over towards Subaru and look over to see the unconscious boy's condition.

There's some relief to see external injuries are mild scrapes and bruises. Whilst there is relief his breathing from a glance seems fine. Of course, they would need to look deeper.

"Please, hurry… I don't know why or how but…" Subaru couldn't continue and felt tears threatening to burst behind darkening eyes. His chest tightens harshly as he harshly grits his teeth.

"We're taking him in now, and taking care of whatever he needs." One of the older nurses says compassionately.

A long rolling stretcher has been brought towards their new patient. With resistance, they managed to get the Sumeragi leader to release the unconscious young man so he could rest upon the emergency bed. Still, the worried man kept his grip firmly on Kamui's own hand. He followed Kamui down the hallway into an open room.

No one wished to object or stall in the slightest. They very much knew of their clan's leader identity. Even more than that they could sense just how deeply these two men were intertwined. Gold and emerald eyes shiver with desperation, refusing to leave Kamui.

"We need to bring him back here to run some tests," One of the nurses had explained, a hand loosely grasping Subaru's shoulder. His hand was shaky. He continues with more than a hint of concern. "This all came on suddenly, is that right?" timidly the nurse practitioner asked, feeling this icy about the powerful clan leader.

"Yes," Subaru responds, entirely lost. "Very sudden…" Times like these were helpful to have staff familiar with his family's line of work. He could explain...what he knew.

"He was assisting me on the job, expelling spirits… but… he just… used too much energy? I'm not sure… exactly and now he's… he is…" He went pale at his own words, feeling his heart begin to stall, and his stomach sinking further. This went especially so as he noticed the faint bruises and scratches around Kamui's stomach. More and more became relieved and he found himself assisting with removing Kamui's top, so further examination could continue. The darker bruises and cuts were mild but found close to Kamui's core, his very source of energy… this only made sense.

"It's okay, please try to breathe."

'It's all my fault… Subaru holds a deep sense of blame. Always, always being hard on himself, despite the natural compassion he could hold for others. 'How could I have missed that? Everything I focused on… worried for… I had it all wrong. Now Kamui is here because of me.'

"You do look pale and really should be off your feet. we will get him ready in a permanent room as soon as possible." The nurse bows her head. "Please, at least have a seat." The kindly voice of another empathetic worker came by as she grasped for a chair near the corner of the room.

Though they tended to have only needed medical personnel for examinations, there was certainly a connection between the two young men. It wasn't every day the esteemed leader of the Sumeragi clan came in, showing such vulnerability. They needed to perform at 110%.

Efficiently, with practitioners, ranging from years to decades of experience, Kamui is swiftly cared for. His breathing is surprisingly calm, and steady, as though he were simply sleeping. This, of course, brought out relief to everyone in the room. Kamui's major vitals are examined. His pulse rate was relatively stable which comes as a relief… though the fever burning up through their patient's forehead and core was slightly worrying.

Subaru can't calm down. There's a bitterness in the pit of his stomach as he sees fresh red blood seeping from one of the cuts. Logic would dictate it was nothing to worry for especially in comparison to his lack of consciousness. The medical staff has the mild wounds cleaned and treated at a quick yet effective pace. Still, every single cut, scrape, bruise… injury no matter how small added weight upon Subaru's guilty conscience.

'This is my fault.' Subaru berates himself, again falling into this bad habit. The words repeat like a mantra or one of his spells. 'It's my fault I let Kamui get to such a state. I never saw where the real danger would derive from...I just felt something there...that I couldn't prevent..."'

His fingers trembled before they pressed up against his lips, finding his nerves bringing a sort of oral fixation. His bad habits and cravings rush intensely as he watches Kamui's treatment.

Subaru reaches to pat the sides of his pockets only to come up empty, not that this. There's an empty space where his usual cigarette box would be… but that had been ages. This was certainly not a place he'd continue that habit but still… The repressed craving always returns for desperate situations like this.

'Of course, I've been planning to quit entirely…' Subaru thinks sardonically. Now, of all times, he wished he hadn't, not that he could bring himself to step out for a break. Certainly not outside a hospital. Using a vice, connecting him to his first love was not exactly helpful, but it was something when feeling this heavy.

'I've been working towards breaking the habit...for so long it felt rather effortless. I was quitting for myself but also for those words you said that day...'

Subaru recalls those few peaceful moments, tutoring Kamui under the school's gazebo. A time they could pretend they were worlds away from the terror outside CLAMP's campus. Those glistening doe-eyes barely making eye contact struck his shielded heart… Kamui mentioning:

"Look, maybe it's not my business but… smoking is still bad for you."

Subaru felt mixed on how deadly those words struck his core. From someone, he had met not long ago…

For the first time since he started the habit… he found a sense of regret. His life after the promised year brought out his hope, a sense of purpose. His Kamui. Those harmful cravings once connecting him to his precious first love had begun to fade.

'Now, I don't know what's happening to you… I don't have that same strength…' Subaru settled on biting his thumbnail, the feeling not easing a bit. But…he can't quite bring himself to stop. It's all he can do without a vice, without Kamui here to snap him out of this mode. He finds his body shaking as he ends up taking a seat across from Kamui, the staff have their room to work… but just enough. Being any further would bring out a feeling of air being stolen from him.

For what seems like endless moments Subaru inspects every single movement of the medical inspection. There's frustration as he knows he can't handle all of this on his own. Scratches and scrapes were easy enough to heal, but the case of Kamui's stats was worrying. He could only hope more answers would arrive here.

Subaru clenched his hand tightly, wanting to come closer, as much as possible. 'But that would only. slow things down for Kamui.''

What if the staff there found themselves slowing down, stuck between helping their patient and calming Subaru from his sense of panic?

'If it delayed helping him… Then it would all be on me… I've already let Kamui down enough.' Subaru partially 'reasons' with himself, though he doesn't calm his fidgeting moments for a moment. He settled with standing up and leering over to see as much as he can of Kamui's treatment as though it would help.

'Kamui…' Subaru's mind haunts him, leaving for his current demeanor. He attempts to look further through the window, seeing the staff checking vitals and ensuring their patient was still breathing well on his own. 'How could I do anything… when you're still like this, Kamui?'

More importantly. 'How could I have missed this? Your powers… '

It's not as though Subaru's powers were tame. However, he had the needed training to have them under wraps at a young age. Kamui had none of that… and was far more powerful than himself.

'I know how strong you are… but I can't-not wish to protect you. I…I-can't.'

Though fear quickly struck through the older man's features. Bolts of white burst through the fearful eyes of gold and emerald. 'But your power had its consequences. What can I do for you? To stop this…'

My Kamui… Subaru heaved a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of the world, his world exhaling and inhaling right back to his system. If it takes much longer… I don't know what I'll do… this feeling of helplessness was...

"He will be alright." A nurse senses the tension across the room, ensuring, with a hopeful glint in her ears. "His vitals are stable. We'll be setting him up in his room now." She responds as she and a team of nurses wheel the stretcher into an adjacent room.

The hospital room is simple but calming. The soft pastel blue and white is devoted amongst the bedsheets, wall decor, and flower arrangements on the bedside table. Kamui is delicately moved onto the bed over the soft white sheets.

'Kamui… you're…' Subaru stays close to his lover's side. He only moves enough to grab an empty chair from the corner of the room. He scoots the chair in, right at Kamui's bedside, immediately taking his hand.

'You look so peaceful…' Subaru thinks fondly. He brushes the tips of his fingers over a beautiful cheek. 'But I… need you to wake up soon, please Kamui… "

The nurses work efficiently and quietly, giving the pair their own time and space. A needle was expertly slid under the skin of Kamui's wrist. He's properly set up with an IV, computer monitors keeping tabs of their patient's health.

With a sense of compassion and concern, one of the nurses approached the Sumeragi leader. He smiles politely at the worried older man and offers: "Is there anything I can get for you while you're here?" The kindly worker offers the anxious man. Subaru stares off for a moment, blankly staring ahead, watching Kamui's chest rise and fall with his breathing. The one sense of assurance here.

Still, he tries again, gently. "Anything to drink some coffee… or something to eat? You do look a bit pale."

Subaru just shakes his head firmly. "No.." He murmurs, his usual politeness blocked by distress. It was understandable enough to the staff.

"Alright, let me know… we have our cafeteria open all through the day should you need anything." The kind nurse keeps his tone warm, before exiting to converse with fellow staff.

Vaguely, Subaru remembers humming for some sense of a response to that. He couldn't escape from these worries. 'How could I do anything while you're still like this?! Kamui…' He grasps for Kamui's unreactive hand, feeling a shiver at how lifelessly it falls within his own, like a doll.

'I've gotten too used to your reactions.' Subaru realizes. He had grown far too accustomed, to the point where Kamui not reacting beautifully and responding to his touch brought out an unexpected worry.

It couldn't be helped. Not so long as Kamui was out, resting amongst the blue and white bed covers, like an absolute angel beneath a silky sky.

Subaru presses his lips over Kamui's hands, hoping for yet knowing the reaction to follow. 'I never should have you come. Not before looking deeper into your power.' He feels this to be his truth, and the burden lying entirely on his shoulders.

"My Kamui…" Subaru murmurs in a tender tone. The hand not clutching Kamui's hand trails up to move a curtain of raven-black bangs back. They tucked behind Kamui's ears, unveiling more of his elegant features.

'Of course, you're incredibly beautiful no matter what the circumstances.' Subaru ponders, laughing to himself quietly, bittersweet.

Moments? passed in a sense where time seemed to freeze. The influx of nurses returns to the room, checking further into their patient's mysterious circumstances.

Kamui was observed a bit further. His vitals proved to be mostly stable, aside from the worrying fever and reddening cheeks. The thermometer flashed 101 degrees Fahrenheit. While not as worrying as with some patients, it was enough to keep everyone vigilant.

The overheated male is given relief through the I.V. Subaru studies the bandaged area, shielding the needle dug into a pale wrist. This was nothing uncommon, both had seen each other in less than comforting states.

Logic dictates that this all is standard, only to help Kamui recover that much faster, and it's not as though he could hydrate on his own. The medical staff is efficient, ensuring everything with Kamui is kept stable. Yet, his heart wouldn't operate on logic, now. The fact that Kamui needed this treatment left him guilt-stricken... 'It's your fault he's even in this state.' So, Subaru tells himself.

"How is he?" Subaru remembers calling out, throat dry, some moments after the staff finish up their routine checks. A sense of relief in the air comes out, as one of the nurses turns back to Subaru, keeping a hopeful smile on his face.

"He is remaining stable, which is good." There's a sense of hope, hoping to calm the worried male. "We'll find out more from the blood tests, and we may need to take an imaging scan to learn more about his current condition."

'Condition' Subaru's mind taunts him. 'One that I put him in…' Again his worries and heart don't operate with logic, but neither did this situation.

There was still so much left unknown about Kamui, and his physical state. One of the doctors arrives into the room, seeming to be in the know. She's talking with the nurses and confirming some type of medicine to be injected, in hopes of calming the fever.

Subaru winces slightly at the sight of another needle inserted through such delicate skin. There's a stinging feeling with the lack of Kamui's own movements than the act itself.

"This will help with his fever." The nurse explains hopefully with her most comforting smile, she attempts to place a comforting hand on Subaru's shoulder. Still, he doesn't react. The other nurses shake her head, looking down with sympathy.

"We'll be talking with the head doctor about the best course of action from here...and getting ready for possible diagnostic image scans." Those were the last words spoken before the staff took their leave. This gave the pair time alone in the room. In a best-case scenario, their patient could come to, on their own, and with someone so dear this close to him.

Subaru had made somewhat of a hum to acknowledge what he heard. It was processing. His mind and focus were lost on Kamui, watching the sleeping beauty helplessly.

'Please… wake up soon, Kamui.' Subaru finds his heart begging. It's not the first time either has been in critical condition. Drawing a reaction out of Kamui was what he had counted on for so very long.

"Kamui…" Subaru sighs slowly, shoulders tense and tightening the longer he lingered. Still, there was nothing he could do from here. "Just what happened to you?" Pained, gold, and emerald orbs scanned carefully over every inch of his love. Every cut and bruise brought out a tighter feeling in his chest, his body stiffened in turn.

"I need you…" Subaru hushes, tone fragile and lost. He cups Kamui's cheeks again and leans forward. His lips can feel the heat when they land upon the younger man's temples. Delicate, and lingering kisses pepper all across the reddened forehead.

"So please…" The pained man pleas, as his dual-hued eyes threaten to boil over with emotion.

Spending too much time in the depths of his mind is dangerous. Subaru's leg begins shaking, as the hand upon Kamui's cheek trembles. 'How long will this...go on?' They should be long past this since the promised year.

There's a duality in the storm inside, part of him aching, feeling every kind of pain, threatening to break him entirely. While another part of him tempts him to give up emotions entirely, to retreat within himself, letting numbness protect him from the harshness of the world. The answer becomes obvious...despite all of the pain it brought...he couldn't experience the feeling of loving Kamui deeply, not if he hid away.

'It's too early to fall into such despair...I know you're powerful Kamui...just please don't make me wait for long.'

"Please come back to me," Subaru whispers a bit shakily. Gently, his lips brush over Kamui's plush ones. He pulls back, frowning...knowing his love couldn't react in this state. Nothing would be that easy. Life had never been.

Things had been going exceptionally well between the pair after all they had lost. Of course, fate would throw another obstacle before their happiness.

"I don't even know if you can hear me…" Subaru laments, sitting back down in his chair and tightly grasping the still hand in his own.

'He's breathing… he's alive. He's Kamui…'

Surely, he would pull through. Subaru glanced up at the clock on the wall. Agonizingly slow, still, and leaving him in disarray.

Subaru's lips quivered bitterly. 'It hasn't even been that long…' He leans his head forehead, long strands of raven-black fall over his features. The hand not feeling Kamui, clenched brutally tight upon the arm of the chair next to him. 'I'm already this bad…'

They'd been through what must be seen as more dire circumstances. Kamui had been out before… Subaru stayed by his side, holding his hand that entire time. Yet, somehow there was more certainty… he knew Kamui would wake up and be alright.

But… There were far too many questions left unsaid. 'I know so little about your powers… your world.' Maybe he should have dug that much deeper, the Magami family, the legacy of the 'true Kamui', all of it.

'I can't help but feel this early…' Subaru grits his teeth, balling his hand to a fist at his side. 'I…failed you as your mentor…'

Kamui's sighs and frustrated groans fill through his mind. 'I'm strong, Subaru. I'll be alright,' Kamui had repeated to the point of clear had seemed so sure, and wasn't wrong.

'Yet your strength became the cause of this…harming you…' Surely, there wasn't another force in this world or those beyond that could pose much of a threat to one of Kamui's prestige. 'It doesn't seem right. He is the true Kamui. Yet, with all his strength, he can still be affected by such power…'

Aside from his own mind's wandering the beeps from the heart rate monitor and the agonizing ticks from the clock above.

"My sleeping beauty…" Subaru coos whisper-soft. Tenderly, he grasps Kamui's hand, holding it safely between his two warm ones. The hand is brought up to his trembling lips once more.

'What could I have done… to keep you from this? To see what danger your own powers could bring…'

Very slowly, and carefully, he lowers their joined hands to fall upon the silky sheets. Kamui's form lies entirely still, his face passive and unnerving.

'I can't even look into your eyes and understand…' Subaru's eyes narrow, unable to tear up… in fear they'd never stop.

"I'll be right here Kamui until you wake up," Subaru promises, unsure if there was any power in vocalizing these thoughts aloud. "And we can go back to rest… or go back to Tokyo, anywhere you like…"

Silence. It doesn't stop Subaru from drawing out.

"Anywhere you'd like to be, I'll take you there…" Subaru ensures, running on his hands up and down Kamui's arm. "So please," His hand continues to caress around the shoulder area, flushed cheeks. "Wake up soon." The touch moves up and over Kamui's closed eyelids, just a butterfly touch of his fingertips brush over. This follows up with a gentle palm lying flat over the boy's temple.

Subaru breathes out in relief. 'At least the fever is going down.'

The medical staff had returned promptly. Familiar nurses were talking amongst themselves before heading around Kamui's bedside. One of the bespectacled doctors in tow, wearing a long white coat and similarly long gray-black hair.

"We find it will be most helpful, bringing him for an MRI scan," The doctor greeted with the most compassion she could muster. The caring tone came about naturally. She approached Subaru not seeing him in the light of this untouchable Onmyouji leader, but as the patient's loved one whose heart was aching. There were so many things unanswered.

"And if this is alright with you," While Subaru only looked back for a moment, the doctor made sure to maintain eye contact. Even if this was only for a moment, she continued as hopefully as possible. "You, of course, are welcome to come into the room with him. I feel having someone important at his side will help him to recover that much faster."

"Thank you…" Subaru expresses, though in a weary tone. Still, it's a polite verbal response, which others deem as progress. There's still such loss, empty shadows overtake those gold and green eyes. The color dims from the beautiful orbs. "I do want to come with him." He expressed firmly, unwavering. There's a sense of hope, this might bring answers.

'Even if it's selfish… I want to believe… I'm able to help you.' Subaru admits to himself. Though he senses Kamui's determination will become the deciding factor in how soon he can break free of this.

Subaru whips his head back around. His eyes zero in, on the nurse's double-checking signs of the boy's health, before subjecting to a scan. A wand-shaped thermometer grazes over Kamui's forehead.

"His fever is steadily going down with the medicine." A kindly voice emits. Subaru glances up to see the blue twin-tailed nurse, bouncing on her feet.

Subaru exhales slowly, feeling a piece of relief amongst all the confusion. When it came time for Kamui to be moved back onto a wheeled stretcher. The motion to move close and assist is instinctive. Protective. He grasps Kamui's hand, giving it a tight squeeze. His eyes shimmer, holding a tender look only meant for Kamui.

Of course, they weren't alone. Some of the nurses giggled at the motion. Those same individuals went starry-eyed at the sight of Subaru sliding his hands under Kamui and lifting his lover before tenderly laying him down upon the stretcher.

"Aww~"

"So chivalrous ~"

Similar squees and giggles followed up. Though the remainder of more serious… pragmatic nurses rolled their eyes at their coworkers. They resume their job rolling the wheeled stretcher from out of the room.

"Ahem…" The lead doctor cleared her throat, stopping the giggling woman quickly.

"Sorry!" Voices chirped out in unison, bowing their heads. There was a faint 'But it was so cute.' under one's breath.

"We start to head down the hall then," The main doctor announces.

Subaru nods at this, very much at the ready for his precious person. ' Don't worry, I won't leave your side…' He makes a mental promise to his love, watching with shaking eyes. Kamui's body lies as still as a doll, save for the relieving rise and falls of his chest as he breathes.

The walk over there is relatively quick. Within moments they are brought into the specified room. The large, rounded, neurology machine is front and center within the lab. Computers and additional screens are interconnected, apparently set up for their new patient.

"Would you happen to know if he's ever had a scan like this before?" The doctor questions gently, feeling tension.

Subaru looked back very briefly, before hanging his head. "I-I wouldn't know…" 'I never imagined I'd need to… given his rare constitution.' "It's unlikely."

Some of the staff members jot down a few notes. Likely bits of information from their earlier vital checks and the suddenness of Kamui's condition.

"We'll have to lay him down here…" The doctor explains carefully. "He will be entirely safe, I assure you."

Subaru only nods a bit at that. "This will help bring answers to what's happening to him."

"We may not learn everything for this, but it will give us a good look at his neurology." The doctor informs him. "Results generally come within the first 24 hours."

Subaru gulps. 'An entire day… of this…'

Seemingly reading his thoughts, the words follow up. "It can be up to that time, on average. Not always."

The worried man hums at this. He finds it frustrating that he doesn't have the tools, take care of his boyfriend from here. He's able to lift the lithe form, but has assistance from the staff, positioning Kamui so he was lying prone and at the best position for an accurate scan.

Subaru holds tightly upon Kamui's hand. "Kamui…" He murmurs ever so softly. "I'm right here with you."

The lovesick man holds to that promise. Subaru patiently waits for the testing to begin. "You'll be alright…" He hushes feeling it's mainly for his own sanity. "We'll go home… figure out things from there."

Subaru squeezes Kamui's hand tenderly. He holds onto the same scan until the last second. The slender male's form begins to slowly slide from the conveyor-like structure and through the 'tunnel' of the scanner.

'This… may have some answers…' Subaru doesn't find himself with much hope. The little he has, he tries his best to cling to. 'But considering it's you I can't say for sure…' Thee Kamui. Was it possible anyone had answers to the depths and intricacies of Kamui's powers, or their after-effects?

'Please… let this work.' Subaru finds himself calling out to whatever deity truly existed in this world. He couldn't find his heart calming until he could be sure Kamui was back to his normal state.

Gold and emerald orbs lingered over the closed eyes and resting features until the scan came to completion.

Waiting…

Agonizing… that was one way to put it. There were a million ways this could be said, not one really captured the entire essence of this feeling.

This had gone on for hours. Kamui's test results wouldn't fully be ready until the next day.

Stubbornly, he stayed right at his lover's bedside. Despite the many offers and voices of concern, he brushed it off. Subaru refuses to eat or drink anything in fear he'd miss something vital to assist Kamui's awakening. His eyes flickered with several lights of emotion, seeing how easily their hands could lace and slip together. There were so many ways to hold and clasp each other's hands yet there wasn't one way that didn't fit naturally.

'Perhaps, this too is a part of fate.' Subaru ponders, a bit more light-hearted for those few seconds.

"Mm... M-master Sumeragi?" A meeker nurse, a young man, no older than Subaru himself barely squeaks out the words. Unfortunately, Subaru hasn't the energy to present his usual polite mannerisms. His mind was far too gone to reply or register the words. 'If people are fated to be together will it mean they'll be fated to come apart?'

"It would not be good if something were to happen to you… y-you need strength to stay by his side so…" He timidly brings out, hands shaky as they hold on to a bag with a mix of different fruits, sandwiches, and vegetables from the cafeteria. "Please, we would like for you to eat or drink something."

Again the pleas were becoming further and further away. The longer this went on at least. 'Had that been the case with Seishirou?… Were they fated to meet, only to be completely torn apart?' He clenched one hand tightly into the bedsheets, twisting the soft material. His heart lurches at the gruesome images… upon that rainbow bridge…

'I will never let that happen with Kamui.' No matter what.

"W-well… I know it's not much, but it's good to have something." The nurse pauses and he looks down worriedly at the older man, completely lost within his own world. "I'll leave this here." He manages to finish with a more stable tone, finding there was no need to fear scrutiny here… The esteemed clan leader was far too gone now, especially to listen to the words of a stranger, no matter how hospitable. Hopefully, he would return…at the very least to keep up.

Subaru makes no motion as he walks on by. There was this feeling of sinking… where those above the water were too far off to reach.

'And Hokuto… was she fated to go…' he hadn't witnessed the tragedy. Though if he had, he'd only hate himself more… because even if he saw it first hand… he wouldn't be able to fall out of love. 'Was she always supposed to die so suddenly… so young… painfully…' By the hands of the person, he had once cherished the most.

No, no amount of guilt or 'logic' could obliterate the fatal feelings from that kind of love. It took a miracle to rise again. 'My miracle…' Subaru frowns, seeing not a remote sign of movement, or senses, registering his presence.

'I can't… lose anyone again…' Subaru knew himself too well. 'No, I can't lose you.' His mind becomes blurry, restless, to a point where he finds himself moving to his feet just to have a break.

"I can at least do this much…"

Finding the room, unoccupied, he laid his palm down flat over his love. His hand slipped under the hospital gown and onto Kamui's core. Closing his eyes… forcing himself to focus… to sense more…

While not fully trained within the advanced physical aspects of healing, he always had that sense. Surely, on the spiritual aspect, he could check Kamui's energy, see if anything abnormal gives him a clue.

'Kamui's ki is certainly there.' it was far fainter than he'd like to admit. The heavenly aura around his beloved had lost its own strength, light as Kamui collapsed. His spiritual senses could view the beams of light, energy flowing throughout Kamui's system. Though the flow was a bit slower, a sense Kamui had with injuries. Yet… his lighter injuries were already starting to heal, without much of a trace.

There was something strange when sensing such latent power.

'It's as though the remaining energy isn't gone being kept away… hidden…' Subaru longed to understand what this had meant. Perhaps, that energy inside was being kept on reserve… but for what purpose?

Still, though, Subaru placed his hand firmer and up between his lover's chest and abdomen. This is…' Throughout the intricate system, energy was beginning to expand. A good majority working to preserve and keep his lungs and heart as strong as possible… through whatever this was…Yet, moments later he felt Kamui's stomach again, in that same exact spot. It was filling up with a staggering amount of energy! All as though he were regenerating.

'Should I take this as a hopeful sign?' Subaru pondered, slowly removing his hand from its inspection. Only when he fully retracted it did he flush feeling the smooth skin on the way down. The touch and intentions were pure… but Kamui was rather exposed under the thin gown.

Somehow… that did make it embarrassing. More so than lifting up the hem of a shirt. What else could he do?

Valiantly, Subaru shook his head, clearing it from further thoughts on the matter. Kamui's skin was warm, but he couldn't help but pull up the covers a little higher, keeping his precious love safe.

"It seems you've caused quite a stir within this hospital…" An all too familiar voice came in, half reprimand inf but with no ill will.

Subaru whipped his head back, blinking. "G-grandmother? You're here…"

The older woman sighed, frowning at the sight of such pain on the boy's face once more. "It's hard for things to stay quiet around this hospital when the 13th head himself comes rushing in for help…" She lightly chuckles, maneuvering herself over towards her pained grandson. "And causing the staff to worry further, as he refuses to eat or drink anything until his precious Kamui is back to normal."

Subaru bows his head a bit, not entirely apologetic but…enough. His cheeks flush a rose pink processing the latter half.

"I had a call transferred to me by one of your clients… beside themselves with worry, they called into the main estate, and wished to know if you and 'your beloved' were alright."

"Oh…" Subaru recalls a bit. His cheeks blush a bit deeper shade of cherry.

"I can't blame them for worrying as you rushed out of there without another word. But hearing Kamui needed help… I had a feeling you would bring him here first."

"I'm sorry…I made you worry and have to come over like this…Kamui is… "

"He is going to be alright," She spoke with a sense of certainty. Enough to lift a portion of the worry from her grandson's heart. Bit by bit. "But you'll only cause him to worry if you don't care for yourself as well."

"I know…" Subaru murmurs a little sadly. "I… can't bring myself to…do so much… when Kamui is like this."

"You still need to try for his and your own sake. You need to protect yourself as you do your precious Kamui," She further insists gesturing towards the bottles of water and bag of uneaten food upon the bedside table.

"I suppose so…" Subaru trails off, unable to meet his grandmother's eyes. He couldn't lie or promise anything here. He knew where his priorities lay, protecting Kamui would always come first….. But… He does grasp for some of the water upon the table, taking brief sips, just enough, before putting the bottle down.

"Well, that is a start," She reasons, watching how quickly her torn-up grandson returns his gaze back to Kamui. As though seconds could make or break the situation, have him miss something to solve whatever was happening here. "So I hear this was quite sudden."

"Yeah… I…" Subaru pauses for a brief moment. He squeezes Kamui's hand tightly for strength. "I… don't know where it happened… the job had been going as usual..."

"I see…"

"Then something occurred… I was too careless and Kamui protected me…" Subaru says solemnly. "It wasn't enough to simply protect. That something got to Kamui… and before I could do anything more… I…he had…"

Lady Sumeragi sighed, hoping her grandson would have a bit more of a break from his pain. Though it was an inevitability in life. "Perhaps, he has used his more latent powers."

Subaru's eyes widened at the correct assumption. "He did just that. It was beyond comparison… I had only seen him use such power since that final battle."

"That only shows just how deeply he feels for you," Lady Sumeragi surmised, again with that same air of assurance. She forms a sympathetic smile. "It's only natural to wish to protect those you love. His desire to keep you safe had meant removing what would cause you further harm. Though at times, a strong sense of love which only enhances a reckless kind of power."

Subaru hums, mulling over the words. Kamui's power was beyond anything he could imagine." I don't know what I should do from here…" He pours out, helpless, vulnerable.

"For now, you can do as you have been… staying by his side until he's ready to awaken. Using a vast amount of power in a short is sure to drain anyone… especially if it's out of control. So it may require some time and patience. Certainly, you can start with caring for yourself and your own needs."

"I… I'll do the best I can…" Subaru voices, knowing it's the only true promise he can work out.

"After all, who will be there to wait for your dear Kamui if anything happens to you?" Lady Sumeragi points out, knowing her worries for Subaru himself wouldn't be enough. She doesn't mention how she can't make it through losing anyone else in her family, but that would only add on guilt to the sensitive soul beside her. If she wanted to reach her precious grandson it would be through the one he loves most.

There's a soft moment of silence, a bit of a time-lapse, Subaru lets the words sink in.

For this Subaru smiles, a small sense of hope returning. "Thank you, Grandmother. "

For that first day, she could reach him.

Night One

The nights were the hardest times, weren't they? There's something about the stillness in the air, the semi-quiet in the open room. The 24/7 staff were bustling all around the ICU halls, checking in on their new and long-standing patients with admirable diligence.

They do the same for Kamui, albeit less frequently finding the boy stabilized. Now, the hope was for the young man to recover quickly, perhaps get the rest needed amongst the quiet and return as soon as possible.

Subaru glances briefly behind him and shakes his head. 'As though I could sleep…' There's a neatly folded felt blanket, and pillow propped up a countertop in the back of the room. A small fold-out bed was made in the corner of the room. All of this in hopes, the diligent Sumeragi head would get some sleep for the duration of this stay.

Still, although close for most, it was far too far away from Kamui for his liking. Having to let go of his precious person's hand or… would be much too much.

"How much longer must this go on?" Subaru makes a mental plea. He didn't wish to look up at the clock, it was haunting. Whilst talking with his grandmother soothed him through the afternoon, he knew he'd be alone at some point. Though when he does look up, he feels his chest restrict.

"There's only so much time I can take… certainly there's something more I could do…"

His grandmother's words slip into his mind. 'Protect yourself as you protect him.'

Would his actions to help Kamui come back cause harm to himself? Would they even work in the first place…

'This is something beyond my powers… my knowledge…'

Another hour, another moment, another second passing by… without answers….answers he would desperately need to find.

'But still… what use am I if I can't do so much as save the person I love?"

Time was merciless, bringing the older man to the point where he had to look away, close his eyes, away from looking up. Away from drowning further realizing how much more time would pass just like this…

'There has to be a way.' To bring Kamui back sooner than now, without damaging, potentially fatal costs trying it. There was no guarantee Kamui would let him in… nor his powers… What should he do?

Subaru's breathing becomes shaky. At times like these, he has to make a conscious effort to breathe. He had to hold Kamui tighter, or lean over and let their foreheads kiss, any sense of connecting once more.

"It has only been a day… just a… day…" Subaru speaks the words aloud in hopes of gaining better conviction for himself. 'There will be some answers for this tomorrow… just a matter of time…he's breathing fine… his heart is beating strongly…'

Subaru found himself checking far more than he'd like to admit. Not that he would know how to process if something further would go on, not without shutting down. The pain would be far too great to withstand.

'I can't keep going like this, not much longer...'

The silence was deafening… so Subaru at least tried to break it bit by bit. Not that Kamui necessarily heard him but… he needed something.

"You know you'll have to go through much more training than I originally thought…I know you were frustrated with me on our first few jobs… but it turns out I needed to focus on control of your power… of course, you're invulnerable to others… but I… but I still worried… you know that K-Kamui?"

Subaru's voice broke. He would trail on between bouts of pained silence. From a vent about the day to simpler topics, he talked with Kamui. Perhaps, soon he may even get a reply. Occasionally, speaking softly to Kamui before and after he was checked upon.

"I wasn't doing this because I didn't trust you… or looked down on your strength… I just couldn't shake the sense that I needed to hold on tight and if I let go even a little...You might drift off, somewhere I can reach you… " Subaru laments holding his love's hand extra tight. He doesn't sense his tears.

Within moments, the clock strikes midnight. They're into the next day

Finally, it feels like, after hours of a storm threatening to tear from his eyes, there is release. The tears are quiet, unnoticed, and untouched as they continue to fall, staining the beautifully broken face with tears. Truly, it was a surprise it took this long.

The pain was there… but now there was proof of some form of releasing it. Not that Subaru could realize now, lost in his own heart's mind, staring helplessly. Only when a few tears start to trail down Kamui's cheeks does he take notice, wiping them away.

"I need you…so… please come back to me…"

Day two

The first 24 hours were grueling. Subaru wasn't sure if he should feel hope they were closer to getting more lab results now or despair Kamui has been out this long.

'There are things I could do…' Subaru gazes deeply into the slightly flushed face. Those sparkling violet-blue eyes would give him hope, so long as he looked into them. 'If I try something more invasive.'

There was an internal struggle raging on what action to take. He could sense Kamui's energy and known ways to calm it if need be. There were spells akin to what he did for Kamui when he suffered from more violent nightmares.

But… Kamui's energy wasn't unstable. He wasn't on high alert and ready to bolt at the gruesome images his nightmares would show. No, now it was quite the opposite.

Kamui's heart rate and breathing were still quite normal. Surprisingly considering his unmoving form. It looked for an outsider like he was simply in a long slumber.

Desperation only increased as the hours ticked by. Looking up at the clock, it was still very early in the morning… a bit past 2 am. Just entering that period when Kamui was first brought in from image testing. Blood work results should be in by now, but it was hard to say how long it could take to process the intricacy of Kamui's mind.

While the staff members were of or intimately involved with the Sumeragi clan, their psychic powers held no comparison to the world's savior. Thus the understanding wouldn't be easy if at all possible…

'And if there aren't answers from this… I may need to resort to that.' Subaru winced, biting down on his thumb as his mind raced. Diving into one's consciousness was no easy feat and it involved a strain on the user.

"You're worth every risk I could possibly take.…" Subaru hushed the words, as though Kamui could sense his own thoughts. His worries did not lie with the strain of himself, though it should. If Kamui were to read his thoughts, there would be some reprimanding words for Subaru's lack of self-care. "I'd rather not invade your personal feelings and thoughts unless necessary…"

Kamui's heart was his own, and his lover deserved privacy. Though it's all but certain this is something relying on the physical state rather than the emotional.

'If this goes on much longer. If there aren't any answers or hope.. I'll do what I need to.' Subaru decides with certainty. There wasn't a question or limit to what he wouldn't do to bring Kamui back.

His heart kept screaming out and longing for 'Kamui, Kamui, Kamui…' There was nothing in the world that could come above this need. For so long this rang true for Seishirou… though there was a love the man held for Subaru, it was linked to unbearable deception, pain, and distortions.

This time around, his heart was in safer and far more compassionate hands.

As it was the middle of the night, the majority of the patients were still resting. There were several staff members on high alert rushing between several rooms of patients. Aside from a few brief checkups, he and Kamui were left to 'rest' in the room.

Subaru faithfully kept to Kamui's side, never releasing his hand. Several bags and boxes full of various foods were piling up amongst the counter and bedside tables. Each one was as untouched as they came.

It was not until around 6 AM when there was the first sign of results.

"Master Sumeragi?" The gentle voice of the doctor finally resounds. There's a chance of hope. "We have Kamui's blood test results."

Subaru nodded faintly at this. Again his gaze never left Kamui's side, searching for each and every expression.

The medical professional just took this in stride. She walked over towards the opposite side of Kamui's bed and sat down upon a stool by the computer.

A professional, detailed document was brought up on the main screen. "I'm glad to let you know his blood results came without any problems. "

Subaru did bother to glance up at this, seeing as the results shown on screen were all about Kamui.

"We found his body recovers exceptionally well. His white blood cells seem to produce at a swift rate which is especially important for one healing…We are amazed how quickly his wounds are restored."

Subaru purses his lips and nods. He had fully expected anyone to be intrigued with Kamui's incredibly high constitution. Thankfully, it wasn't focused on in a negative light.

"His body is producing everything he needs to return to full health," The doctor smiled with a light of hope in her eyes. "We should have further results from the imaging scan in a few hours. I am hopeful for more answers and certainly less time than usual for him to come to."

Subaru's lips quirked up at this. 'I'll only be at ease when he does come back.' His mind supplied for him, but knew there was genuine care and help given. Of course, he didn't voice the thoughts, but one could easily read them.

"I'm sorry we haven't found the exact answers but I promise we'll continue to work vigilantly to help Kamui with recovery as soon as possible… " She ensured with a sincere apology and a sense of devotion to the patient at hand.

"Thank you," Subaru expressed, looking up for a brief second before devotedly returning his attention to his precious person. The doctor followed up with a reminder they'd come back with more results as soon as they were ready.

While the words should be comforting he had no clue how to feel. He gently caressed the back of Kamui's hand with his thumb. 'I'm supposed to feel relieved that you're healthy and healing as fast as usual. Yet… if that's so… why aren't you back here yet, Kamui?'

The hope for answers would come in the next few hours.

Restlessly, the older onmyouji sat right at Kamui's side. On occasion he'd stand up to take a better look at Kamui's face, pressing chaste kisses on his forehead or lips. No such miracle kiss had arisen, but he found the press of Kamui's skin on his lips soothing. A reminder Kamui was here… not able to talk with him, but feeling the other's warmth.

"Kamui…" Subaru's voice soothed as he cupped an elegant and pale cheek. "What am I supposed to do?" There was a bittersweet curl to his lips. 'I rely on you far more than I can say…'

It couldn't be helped. There was nothing and no one else in this world that could compare with the security he felt confiding in Kamui. They had seen the depths of each other's hearts, and pain from their first meeting. That connection only continued to grow.

Finally, after playing a grueling waiting game, the door to the room came open. The expressions upon the doctor and nurses' faces were not at all negative. Yet, there was more confusion than assurance in their eyes.

"We have his lab results back…" The doctor explained as she had hours earlier. Like before, the various images and files were brought up on several different screens.

She pointed over at several parts of the brain.

Subaru squeezed Kamui's hand tight for reassurance. Though he winced feeling some dread.

"Most patients within the comatose state would have lower brain activity… but that isn't quite the case with Kamui," The head doctor explained, elaborating more by pointing to more active areas of the brain. "For the most part, his brain has been exceptionally active within the temporal lobe. Right around the hippocampus, which has an important role in memory and dreams."

That particular word caught Subaru's attention more than any other. He had known his love had a connection, chance meeting with the former dreamseer Kakyou. Kamui's mind was strong, able to connect with and view countless images for the world's potential end or salvation. Surely, with his power the dreams alone had a power others could only hope to grasp.

"We, unfortunately, were not able to gain any more conclusive results from this scan…but we will continue to look further into this until we have answers."

That's when Subaru felt his heart lurch, desperation very much taking effect. 'Essentially it's: 'we don't have the answers.'

Who knew how long this would go on… the words and information from then on we're blurred through Subaru's mind. His chest aches painfully tight. 'Just how much longer must I wait? '

Peaceful Unreality

Deep within the recesses of Kamui's mind is a beautiful vision. One so very peaceful. The young man found himself sitting peacefully upon a lush grassy field. The spell of morning dew fills the air carried on by the wind. Beautiful blossoming trees of Sakura are all around them. There's one exceptionally tall tree Kamui could never forget. He looks back with a sense of pain and nostalgia.

'How many times did we climb that tree when we were children?' Kamui reflects, fondly, though there's a shivering tear of emotion wishing to wish from his eyes. He hears a soft, high, and tender voice he had known for so long.

"Kamui! I'm back," There's a gentle, golden-haired girl who walks over towards Kamui. There's a sense of laughter, and peace from this voice he held so dearly.

"Ko…" Kamui gasps, having to remember to breathe. 'This...isn't possible?' One hand tugs within the center of his chest. While his spare hand clutches tightly to the ground beneath, fingers bury within the dirt.

"Dear Kamui," Kotori begins with a teasing tone. She sees this action and laughs. Gently, her long curly golden hair flows from the wind, like thousands of golden demeanor is as soft and tender as he can imagine. "You'll get dirt all over your hands on your special day." She reaches for Kamui's hand bringing it out of the dirt.

The meaning of the words can't faze Kamui over the fact his loved one was here once more. Though they would..."Ko-Kotori...w-why?!" How? Was this something like his meeting with Kakyou, did this mean it was a dream? Was he really seeing his childhood friend or was this all some illusion….one feeling far too real.

They were both back in this garden, one that hadn't been to in nearly a decade now. This time Kotori was no longer a child, looking barely above the age she was when she departed. Though there was no sign of pain about her, puzzling Kamui. It did bring hope...if any of this made remote sense.

"What's with that look, huh?" Kotori speaks so gently, and warmly, it makes Kamui wish to cry. Playfully, she tilts her head to the side, smiling as the innocent angel she truly was. Far too pure for the distorted world she was brought into.

Kamui can't find the words. He doesn't know if he ever will. There's so much confusion and he feels his heart being tugged. Guilt is taking over immensely.

"Okay I know, the bride title was only used when we were children but still…" Kotori hums so sweetly, her voice truly reflective of the birds that seemed to flock around her. "You have a big day ahead of you, and you should take care of yourself before that begins." Gently, there's the feather-light touch of her hand, holding a faint warmth. She pulls Kamui's hand out of the dirt.

"Th-that's not what I mean… * Kamui stumbles worried he'd lose his breath. Memories from before are all too easy to fall into...and he finds his cheeks flush recalling the 'title' Kotori reminded him of. There is a tint of a blush of red from the memory… he wonders if he should feel bad…his heart even now, while finally able to talk peacefully with Kotori, can't help but think of his beloved.

"Just how would Subaru react if he knew my childhood dream was to become a bride?"

It was bad enough he had already been mistaken for being a wife when out with his boyfriend. Still, Kamui couldn't help but think his beloved would look upon this knowledge with deep fondness.

"Aww, now though you really would play the part of the blushing bride." She giggles and lays a hand over Kamui's trembling one. "Kamui… you're acting strange…"

Kamui blinks, his mind flashes countless memories of their childhood. "Kotori… how are you here?"

"I came here with you two," Kotori puffs out her cheeks. "How could you forget?"

Before Kamui can register the details of those words, he finds his heart sinking.

"Y-you're alive… that's… impossible…" Kamui speaks with a dejected tone. He shouldn't be here now...it made no sense. He was to be right beside Subaru. Had he fallen asleep? Did they begin some meditation practice he was unaware of?

Kotori does not argue with this, but she does add some assurance. "I'm here with you, Kamui. Always. " She holds a hand to Kamui's heart, looking into his eyes as if he were the world's greatest treasure.

There was a smile he remembered, one that used to make his heart race. Back when they were more innocent, child sweethearts. Now, it brought out a mix of happiness and deep-seated pain.

Before the world was cruel. Before innocence was lost. Before he left Tokyo… before he found himself falling or finally accepting his heart had fallen for Fuuma. Long Before he lost both of them.

Yet, now he felt a warmth… and the similar longing he had for reuniting with his late mother.

"Kotori…" Kamui at this point tears up wildly. It was over a year since he had since his precious friend...and even if this was impossible. He couldn't help it…

"What's wrong? K-!" She isn't given a chance to respond. Pained Kamui swiftly scoops up the small girl into a desperate hug. His hands hold tightly to the back of the girl's blouse, not wishing to see her slip away again.

"Kamui…" Her eyes lower with deep worry.

"I… I never got to say goodbye to you…" He mumbles, burying his reddening eyes into the comforting shoulder. "I… failed to protect you…"

"Kamui… what are you talking about?" Kotori voices with deep concern. The gentle girl presses the palm of her hand flat on her forehead. "You've always protected me… as Fuuma did for you…"

Those words are the final break in the dam as Kamui's tears turn to full-on sobbing. Every ounce of pain and loss he's felt from losing his two precious people began bursting out. "I… ha… and I… couldn't...save either of you..." Kamui spoke out with gasps.

Kotori doesn't seem to understand but holds Kamui so he can rest upon her shoulder. She brushes her fingers through his hair in a nurturing manner.

"Kamui…"

"In the end, it was Fuuma… who protected me…"

"Kamui… What are you talking about? I'm a bit worried."

This time the words sunk in. He looked up with disbelief, seeing nothing but confusion and compassion in her eyes.

"There… was… so much…"

Kotori shushes her friend and precious person. She holds him tight, fully knowing his heart was given completely to another.

"Then tell me… tell me Everything Kamui…" She grasps his hand for reassurance.

"I…I- there was so much...that happened... after I came back to Tokyo, and both you and Fuuma were…." Kamui retold what he could manage to words, of the reality beyond...wherever this was.

Desperate Measures

Though fully knowing the risks, Subaru couldn't find himself to care. He couldn't wait forever. It was reckless but perhaps only hope for answers.

'I'll have to dive within you once more… and hope I can bring you back.' More than anything he hoped Kamui's mind or body would even allow him to enter.

There were never any guarantees from this method. There was a reason only the exceptionally gifted members of the Sumeragi clan would dare to attempt it. 'But if I can't bring you back somehow…' He couldn't dwell on that thought.

There was agonizing loneliness that was tearing at his own heart and mind. Without another thought, Subaru leaned over Kamui's body. His bent leg presses into the mattress, sinking in, close to his beloved.

While Subaru's hands cradled around Kamui's head with an incredibly tender touch. He rests his forehead upon Kamui's, starting the process. so he begins to chant the mantra he'd grown to know by heart. "Noubou, Akyosho, Kyorobayo, on arikya.. Noubou, Akyosho, Kyorobayo, on arikya..moribori sowaka!"

Over and over again… the spell is spoken until finally there's some sense of release. Subaru's consciousness dove within the outer edges of Kamui's mind. Though he pressed forth, attempting to break through a unique barrier around Kamui's subconscious mind.

There was a strong mental wall, a blinding kekkai guarding Kamui. The barrier appears to be made with countless angel feathers. Regardless of his own spells, powers, or methods or breaking through, his energy couldn't penetrate the wall.

And Subaru found himself being knocked back, blown away by an immeasurable strength of the wind. Once, twice… countless times… Subaru did what he knew to attempt to break through whatever was keeping him from getting to Kamui.

Countless spells of varying elements and the strongest of his psychic powers were barely able to put a dent in the protective mental barrier.

Please… Kamui… let me in. As reckless and thoughtless Subaru reattempted to dive in, to strike and attempt to bring down the barrier. He hadn't faltered despite the harm to his mental and physical form.

The pain attempting to break through to Kamui was sharp, cold, and impenetrable. The strain on his physical body was no joke, as he found his energy depleted and bleeding beginning to seep from his own physical form. The symptoms only severed as time went on. There was something off, so different than that first time.

'This can't be Kamui himself keeping me out like this.' Subaru found himself reasoning, the power and blockage from getting through to Kamui felt entirely foreign. 'At least not his own consciousness.' There was a feeling of protective strength keeping anyone away from entering the healing male's consciousness. For what it couldn't be determined.

Kamui wasn't under mental turmoil to shut him out. Rather something else within Kamui was guarding the boy against any interference.

It was at times like this, Subaru felt as though the air had been stolen from his lungs. A deepening pain in his chest began to resurface as he realized…

'As much as I wish to protect you… your strength is beyond anything else.'

Subaru found himself outclassed, unable to gather any more strength that could manage to break through the chosen boy's latent power. Still, logic to step away from this danger hadn't settled in.

'Yet, still, this is… all I can do.' Subaru found himself thinking over as he returned to the realm of consciousness and dived back in again and again. Each and every attempt was met with more resistance than the last, his energy depleted… for some time… he would have to rest. His body was not allowing any further mental dives.

'If I can't… get to you then I-' Subaru couldn't finish the thought, couldn't fathom the horror of life waiting endlessly for his love to awaken. The lights in his eyes turned off completely. He would have to wait it out… agonizing until his body recovered enough to try once more. 'I will save you... No matter what it will cost me.'

Remembrance

After the trials of reflecting upon that promised year... Kamui could finally find his breath. He found himself comforted in a soft embrace from Kotori.

"I'm… so sorry Kamui… for you to have gone through that." She speaks with a deep sense of compassion, beginning to tear up herself.

"Please, don't cry…I don't understand all of this now but.." Kamui shook his head before wiping at his eyes. "I'm glad I'm able to see you again…" or whatever version of you here with me. "I know that was… a lot to take but...thank you for listening, for believing me."

"Of course, I believe you. Even if I don't understand everything. I know you well enough, I know that you were speaking the truth from your heart." The golden blonde shakes her head, as beautiful tresses sparkle in the sunlight. Kotori beams, eyes as bright as the sun. "I love you, Kamui…"

"Kotori… Of course,... I…" Kamui stumbled here… he felt and knew the depths of her words. His heart was shivering with a blend of emotions. "I do love you of course, but the way I mean…. it's…"

"I know it's not the same," She waves it off, selflessly. At least that hadn't been the case for some time. "I know who makes you love beyond all else."

"Kotori…" Kamui murmurs sadly.

"But I'm not sad," Kotori assures, truly giving her precious person an earnest and brightened smile. "Seeing the person I love happy is what matters to me most."

"But… I-" Kamui trails off, troubled. 'I lost you and Fuuma… and I still was able to fall so hard for someone…'

Kamui's thoughts are kept to an abrupt halt. He sees and feels the tall, sturdy, and protective figure approaching the grassy hill.

"Kamui…" An all too familiar voice breathed out his name gently. His amber eyes shone looking towards his own precious person. Perhaps most damaging to Kamui's heart is the tone he spoke with. Not the sadistic and cold voice the other Kamui possessed. No, this was… his Fuuma, the one who would promise to protect him… as he did in that final battle...

"F-Fuuma…" 'What was this…? There's no way this can be right...but still I…'

Kamui couldn't help himself. His precious childhood friends, the ones he loved so dearly, were here wherever this was.

"Kamui? Are you-" Fuuma wasn't given a chance to finish. Unlike Kotori's gentle hug, Kamui lunged towards his belated friend… the one he gave and lost a part of his heart to not long ago. The surprise of it all knocked the taller man off his feet, he barely managed to steady himself and Kamui to an upright position.

"Fuuma…" Kamui laments, wrapping his arms around the older man's neck, releasing a new wave of emotion. "I'm so sorry…"

"Kamui?" Fuuma questions sadly. He glances curiously towards his sister. She shook her head and smiled, for whatever reason their Kamui needed this. 'Let him stay like this.'

And it had been like that for countless moments…? Hours? Somehow it never felt enough.

Kamui, Fuuma, and Kotori being together… in a peaceful garden like this… was surreal. Deep down, Kamui knew that was the only possibility. As his mother's words remind him, "the dead can not come back to life no matter how hard you wish it." His loved ones deserve peace to live in a more peaceful afterlife.

Somewhere along with the fantasy, of flower crowns, and reminisces Kamui had stopped.

"Kotori?"

"Hm…." She smiled, braiding together another crown full of violets and daisies.

"What you said earlier… about a special day?" Kamui flushes a bit… having quite the idea for it… but to be sure. "And knowing the person I...love the most- I'

"I'm aware of who your heart has chosen." Her soft eyes sparkle, holding a finger up to her lips as though concealing a secret. "As for the latter: I'll let you find that out for yourself."

Kamui's lips fold to a pout… This brings both Mounou siblings to study Kamui's expressions before breaking into laughter. They felt his sense of rare peace until watching a breathtaking sunrise. One Kamui would find it perfect if his lover had been here to see it

"It's getting late… we should get going now," Kotori spoke tenderly, smiling with empathy at the widening and pained eyes of Kamui.

"A-already?" Kamui stammers, he clenches his hands to his side. Violet-blue orbs tremble wildly, painfully. A rain of emotion wishes to fall beneath those eyes.

"You have somewhere important to be… someone you must return home to."

Kamui blinked over this, mouth hanging slightly ajar. He looks towards Fuuma and Kotori, seeming to be equally peaceful "So...you both know?"

To his surprise, both Monou siblings nod their heads and smile tenderly. "Of course, it's hard to forget someone who makes our precious Kamui light up."

Fuuma ruffled Kamui's head… a practice that tugged at his chest. This felt like a second goodbye.

"You shouldn't keep that person waiting…" Fuuma ensures with mingled emotions in his eyes.

"We love you, Kamui, always." Kotori professes softly.

"You're both leaving…" It isn't a question. Kamui is wrapped in a final embrace from Fuuma, one that lingers...to the point of being sad. Wrapped in his former love's embrace, there's a deeper sense of longing, he can feel.

This lingering sense Kotori had not given off seeming entirely at peace, happy to know her precious person was given a chance to be happy. Kotori returns with a lighter touch and softly squeezes his hand.

"Please, Kamui, remember … when you have this kind of happiness, you should never let it go…"

"I… won't…" Kamui promises, feeling the tightness return to his chest and core. He watches in pain and accepts both forms of his friends beginning to fade out. Soon enough the grassy field itself does so.

He didn't know why… or how… but he did know who he needed most now… and always. Unknowing the real-life circumstances, Kamui begins the process to awaken.

Lost

While left waiting for Kamui to recover, Subaru's own 'condition' had become far worse. The failed attempts to enter Kamui's mind left him in turmoil. One haunting thought returned. 'I couldn't get through to you. I can't save you…' Being rejected by whatever power that was...left an ivy feeling in the man's veins.

The pale man left medical professionals as occupied as they were with Kamui. It was to the point where staff had thought to prepare their own bed or room should Subaru fall ill. No words of the doctors or nurses could breakthrough.

The broken man stared listlessly at his love. His mind began to fall apart. 'Why, wasn't I more careful? Why did I let the only thing that matters slip away?…where I can't reach you.'

Subaru wouldn't eat, drink or respond to any of the worried staff members. Knowing his dedication to stay at Kamui's side they had adjusted to having another bed in the room, should the weakened man faint himself.

'Have I completely failed you… Kamui?'

Though they could urge and plead with words… there was no response. The only sense of hope came from the head doctor, recalling Subaru's visit with his grandmother.

So, in an act of desperation, the former Sumeragi head was called in.

She wasted no time rushing over to the hospital. Lady Sumeragi quickly brought herself to sit by her grandson's side. A painful chill coursed through her veins as she looked at her grandson's current state. The light, emotion, and purpose within his eyes were dimming out completely.

Her heart sank, knowing it couldn't survive seeing anyone else in her family go on before her.

"Subaru… please. You need to come back to us."

Subaru stared ahead blankly, mind lost within its own hellish abyss. I've failed you… Kamui…

"Subaru, listen to me!" Her tone came out more stern and demanding of his attention. Any other circumstance would work, but never when the boy had a weakened heart. "You need to break through this. I can't understand all of your sufferings, but if you go as well, Kamui will have no one to return to."

Subaru had never gone off this far. Since being betrayed by the former Sakurazukamori… since losing Hokuto… this helplessness was frightening.

"You need to protect yourself. You will make it through this. It's too early to give up, I'm sure he will come back! There's a definite hope… it just may take longer than planned.".

The words wouldn't pierce through the wall the Sumeragi head built up. Terror flooded through Subaru's system as he completely shuddered. His eyes closed painfully.. 'I couldn't save him. Not even after trying so...so many times.'

"In that time you need to care for yourself…" Lady Sumeragi frowned, attempting to place a gentle hand upon the boy's crestfallen cheeks. "You do have a future together… you have to believe in that. But to achieve that future with the one you love, you can not give up here… nor cause yourself any more harm."

His heart and mind couldn't return until Kamui had come back completely. Surely, despite the desperate words, Subaru's face remained impassive.

"Subaru, please! If you can't do this for yourself, you need to do this for Kamui. You need rest… you're pale… weak as though you…" Lady Sumeragi's eyes widened at the realization, this weakened state… her grandson's desperation for the one he loves. "Don't tell me you used that technique now? When you have barely the energy to remain conscious."

The silence was deafening, confirming her fears. Of course, when it comes to matters of the heart Subaru would act erratically.

"Have you attempted it more than once?" Silence. "Please, Subaru if you continue to do so…" She took a labored breath, feeling her heart restrict. "You will end up killing yourself, you must know that. Kamui needs you as you do him."

'Kamui…' Subaru's mind solely recognizes the name of his beloved being spoken. Though the voice was familiar it was not the one that would be his saving grace.

"There's still so much hope," Subaru's grandmother continued, weary. She attempts to brush her hand over her grandson's hand and finds it cool. " He's breathing, his heart is still so strong...as is all of him. Surely, the true Kamui can and will recover from whatever happened earlier… you need to stay here… be present with Kamui."

"Kamui…" Subaru breathed the name fainty. It had been the only word he managed in hours. Only one word. He hadn't bothered to look back up, but it was progressing.

Lady Sumeragi felt herself take a deep breath in relief. "Yes, Kamui… he will come back to you." She spoke with such assurance, not doubting or wishing to live in a world where this wasn't a certainty. "You two are still so young…and will have a long life ahead of you. There will surely be obstacles, but I have no doubts you will become stronger together." She finished with a deep, elongated exhale.

"Kamui…" Subaru murmurs again, the slightest glint of light seems to return. There's some hope the words are returned. Even if he wasn't speaking with her, his grandmother had hoped he could still make verbal responses.

That is more than enough for the former Sumeragi head to gain some faith. "He will come back. You need to be here… to be that home for him to return to." She finishes, brushing her hand over her wounded grandson. Subaru's right hand of course is already occupied holding tight to his love.

Countless, silent moments… turn towards hours. Lady Sumeragi patiently waits beside her grandson. She found herself talking about the newer Onmyouji in training and of the most recent clients.

"Your last clients were quite worried themselves. While they couldn't reach you, I spoke with them over the phone. They hoped you both were alright, sent their payment to the guest house you're staying at…" She added on with some hope.

Subaru seemed to at least recognize the topic of conversation. Still lost and long gone on Kamui… but he did hum briefly to the conversation.

"And they asked for the hospital to send out flowers for Kamui."

Subaru bowed his head slightly in acknowledgment, breathing out a sigh. Those words involving Kamui registered.

'Kamui would be happy to see that… ' To see how others care so deeply for him.

Hours drained the older woman, working towards seeing just a bit of color return to her grandson's. Though not ready to give up, Lady Sumeragi knew her grandson was in a more stable state. Though far from what she hoped, she knew what he was like when he was lost within his thoughts. Otherwise shot down.

Her duties sorting out problems within the clan, especially with their current leader out were also quite a factor. The jobs Subaru had been assigned the past few days needed to be canceled or reassigned to a very high rank, Onmyouji.

"I'll return as soon as possible" She spoke as a promise, flinching as Subaru made no notion of listening. With a firmer tone, she insisted. "I hope by then, you'll eat or at least drink a bit more… if nothing else for Kamui's sake... I'm sure he wouldn't want you to continue this."

Subaru does weakly and briefly look up, finally as he sees his grandmother at the door of the room. His expression is distant, lost but it's some progress. She meets his eyes, holding onto hope. the bit of light would remain until Kamui came back.

When his grandmother had left Subaru returned to his brief routine. He'd get up to place gentle innocent kisses upon Kamui's forehead, eyelids, nose, and lips. He brushed his fingers through the silky raven hair, caressed his cheeks. All in hopes it was reaching his love, even while physically unreactive.

The staff checked in on Kamui's status regularly. They were hopeful the Sumeragi leader would do so much as lift his head up or form some sort of acknowledgment. His central attention always returned back to his love.

'I won't leave you Kamui…' Subaru breathes out, time seeming to blur altogether. 'I'm sorry I don't have the strength now…' He forms a soft apology, lips forming to a frown.

Tiredly, he rests his head beside his lover's legs. His arms fold to cradle his weary head and neck.

'When my strength returns… I will try again…' Not foolishly enough where his actions would prove fatal, but certainly with the drive to keep trying to breakthrough. His devotion led him to dive within Kamui for as much as his strength would allow.

Resting beside Kamui's sleeping form brought out a sense of peace. His sweet love was moments away from Awakening as he closed his eyes half-asleep.

Finally, after a seeming eternity of loneliness… Subaru felt his angel stirring beside him and those enchanting violet eyes began to open once more.

"Kamui!"

Comfort

With deep elation, the nurses came to check up on Kamui, unsure if the sounds from the health monitors were correct. Yet, they came to see their long-lost patient awake and cuddled up to his restless partner.

The young nurse giggled, seeing the obvious couple break apart...a bit.

Their recovered patient was entirely effective in getting Subaru to sit up and move over just enough so the nurses had their space to do their job. Several more vital checks proved the young man was entirely healthy. Subaru carefully came right back cuddling Kamui as soon as they were done.

"We'll inform the 12th head of this as well," The main nurses spoke with deep relief. "I know she's been quite worried."

Another of the staff members beamed at the recent turnabout, and apparent news from the front desk. Her glee could be heard throughout the halls.

"I heard we had a phone call from Director Imonoyama," She chirped with deep admiration and starry eyes. The CLAMP school director was known far and wide especially amongst the female population. "He's sending over a bouquet of flowers to you as you recover. He's so sweet… ah to be at CLAMP med school again." She sighs dreamily, folding her hands and holding them to their cheek.

"Nokoru is very sweet," Kamui agrees kindly and tries not to laugh at the look his boyfriend gives him. It didn't help that they were on a first-name basis.

Subaru has a bit of a pout on his lips, as he sees Kamui laugh and beam at the mention of his school's director. Though what irks Subaru, is the realization of the fact Kamui was being lavished with gifts by others before he had a chance.

The entire hospital seemed to be in much higher spirits. Everyone seemed that bit lighter as they graced down the halls and went on to see their next patient. It wasn't every day you had a patient recover and return to their old health so quickly.

Still, for good measure, Kamui was to be kept one more night before leaving.

The lovebirds had some catching up and mainly time to feel each other's warmth.

"I'm sorry I caused you so much pain…before… " Kamui expresses with a heavy heart, now that they could have some privacy.

Subaru shakes his head firmly. "It's not something you could control… I'm… a bit tired to say the least…" His lips quirk up and when Kamui does the same, he feels his heart dancing. He steals his beloved's lips eagerly. "But…you're back now… that's what matters most."

"I'm sorry it took me so long," Kamui laments, his hand twists into the soft bed sheets. "If I had a choice I would never-"

Subaru stopped his lover's guilt, pressing a finger to his lips. "It's not your fault. You're here with me."

Kamui smiled tenderly at this. His eyes glistened before he wrapped his arms snuggly around his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Kamui?' Subaru expresses, feeling his lover's strength. Kamui has no problem bringing his boyfriend further up with him onto the bed.

"You haven't slept," Kamui responds, all too knowingly. He leans forward, pressing kisses upon the older man's tired eyelids.

"I'll be alright…" His exhaustion can't be hidden remotely, as he finds himself releasing an audible yawn.

``Yes, you will be...when you get to sleep," Kamui adds with a bit of glint mischief. "With me."

Subaru's eyes widen at this, his hesitations are obvious. Though he appears in conflict with himself. "I-I couldn't just do that...this is where you're to recover here as a patient and it's only one more night…"

Kamui fondly rolled his eyes. "I'm sure the hospital staff will be more relieved than anything to see you resting." Kamui encourages, as he scoots over near the end of the bed, patting the mattress beside his head. "Sleep here with me?" The sparkling violet doe eyes, tender smile, and soft tone...it's an instant K.O. to Subaru's heart.

"Alright…" Subaru swallows giving in. He gradually kicks off his hospital slippers, before lying back. There's enough space for Subaru to rest on his side. When feeling a loving arm wrap around him, and guide him, he's far too gone. Subaru rests his head upon Kamui's chest, finding his own heart fluttering at the oncoming warmth.

Within moments, Kamui looks to see his beloved falling into much-needed slumber. "Good night, Subaru."

Tension

Hospitals had never brought on pleasant memories. This visit especially brought out unresolved tension and fears...And a few of their first lover's quarrels.

"It's been four days now! I'm fully recovered, and I'll stay right beside you... so why can't I at least go with you?" Kamui had blurted in a fit of frustration. All of it stemming from his overly cautious boyfriend who was even too apprehensive to do so much as touch him the first two days after coming back from the hospital.

All despite Kamui's 'condition' being the result of his body's self-healing.

"Kamui, you know what happened…" Subaru responded with a flinch, it was far too close of a call. Nervously, he curled his fingers through his messy raven hair. "I just can't risk losing you!"

"And I can't lose you, Subaru!" Kamui returned with equal passion. His heart feeling entirely fragile… guilt for putting through something, despite it being out of control. "I can help you and..." But being kept away, after making progress with Subaru wasn't okay for him. "I'm not fragile!"

"I know that, Kamui-"

"But you treat me like I am now!" Kamui interrupts his boyfriend. "Please, Subaru… Haven't you thought about what it does to me to know you're putting yourself in danger and always working alone? Do you know how much I worry I might lose you?!"

Subaru swallowed hard, the words stinging through. He was brought into his inner conflict for his actions and reasoning. Fear was far too powerful now. "I...I'm sorry Kamui… I just… not now please."

"But I…" Kamui stretched his hand out. He groaned, watching painfully as his beloved retreated to the 'office space' of the guest house. Kamui tugs at his chest, feeling his chest being tugged and his heart torn into two. He flops down the loveseat without a hint of grace."Why can't you let me stay beside you?" He questions in a pained murmur.

For those few days, they were brought here. While the first day seemed reasonable, it went on and on. Kamui enjoyed his boyfriend's company even through the frustration, but it was eating at him.

Subaru found himself at a loss. He wished he had the words to voice just how deeply those past days broke him. He wished to have the confidence to let Kamui do as he pleases, but fear took over. Spending a few moments of meditation seemed to be the only thing to calm his nerves, to think that much more clearly.

"I have to go back home to go to school soon too… so it's not fair I never get the time to work beside you!"

Subaru mulled over his lover's words just hours ago. 'This is not how I planned the trip to go…'

The overprotective man had known this was on him, and his fears… but it was too painful to just overcome them. So, he called the only family he was close with. Flustered and at a loss, he found himself calling his grandmother. His words came out in a mess of worries and fear.

The older woman always seemed to find a way to look at things with a great sense of poise and rationality.

"Subaru. You both are young...inexperienced there's bound to be problems like. But I trust you both care deeply enough to work through them together. For now, why don't you two go out somewhere? Spend some time as a couple and when things are calm, really communicate to Kamui what you feel. "

His grandmother had been the one to recommend they take time away from work and go out somewhere they could enjoy being a couple. From there, find the means to talk openly.

Makeup

"A date?" Kamui asks a bit skeptically, fearing his boyfriend is still upset with him. It was unusual they found themselves with conflict, but this matter seemed a bit more complicated. He assumed Subaru would need far more time alone, but this was a pleasant surprise.

"So long as you want to go?" Subaru bows his head a bit, voice questioning. "I know I haven't...expressed myself well...or been thinking so clearly. And I'm sorry for that…" He expresses wearily, Kamui shakes his head, smiling fondly.

Subaru continues. "I think it might be good to have some time away from it all, just us being a couple. If you...would want to…"

"Of course, I want to," Kamui assures, nodding his head at the hesitant words. He grasps the back of his lover's head, combing his fingers through the soft hair. They meet in a series of soft, lingering kisses.

Just like that- It's decided, they'll head out to their mystery destination soon.

"Where are we going ?" Kamui asks, bewildered, as their last conversation over the upcoming Onmyouji jobs… was less than pleasant.

Subaru had such a soft, calming expression now. Perhaps, the alone time for them both was helpful after bouts of tension, but Kamui found himself glad it was short-lived.

"You'll see soon," Subaru answers, still with a secure yet soft hold over Kamui's hand. He watched fondly over Kamui linking and unliking their fingers until he was satisfied.

"That's not… so helpful," Kamui voices a bit bemused. He preferred this lighter feeling being with Subaru. So he rests his dark raven head against his boyfriend's arm. "You planned this?" Kamui coyly cocks his head. 'First I've heard of it…'

"Not too long ago, really a…" Subaru sheepishly scratches at his cheek. "Last minute thing. But I think you'll like this place. "

Kamui laughs, the angelic curl of his parted lips, makes his boyfriend stop in his tracks. Subaru has to consciously take a breath, finding his chest restricting. Those soft lips, glistening playful eyes, and lovely sound. It was a bit too much for Subaru's heart.

"My Subaru is being spontaneous today?" Kamui lightly teases, a bit tongue and cheek. He couldn't help his mystical eyes overflowing with fondness. His boyfriend didn't seem to mind the playful banter one bit.

Subaru's orbs lit up, shining brighter at the change in atmosphere. The oncoming sunlight reflects lighter shades of amber and green amongst his main dual-toned eyes. An angelic smile made the older male that much more enchanting.

This seemed to be Kamui's turn to be left breathless.

"You..." Kamui is curious, but mostly in a daze. His boyfriend was bright and beaming, as though he were given the world's greatest compliment instead of the light tease.

"I love when you call me that," Subaru blurts his thoughts out all too honestly. There's a sense of heat in his cheeks as the hues of pink rise from his lower cheekbones and up.

Kamui nuzzles against his boyfriend's arm fondly. "When you say those things… I-I don't know how to react," he admits in a dizzying flush. He holds a hand to clutch the shirt, near the left side of his chest. "But I'm glad… because I love that you're mine."

"I am," Subaru assures, humming softly over this feeling. Taking a moment to reflect on his lover's sincerity. Kamui took his lover's words to heart. 'All he asks is to stay by my side…' In both their romantic and work lives.

"You're too good for me…" Subaru remarks wistfully.

"Subaru?" Kamui blinks, never understanding how someone so precious to him couldn't see his worth. He frowns, hearing the melancholy in his boyfriend's voice. "Please don't say that…" Kamui murmurs, as he feels his heart exposed in front of him.

Somehow he finds the courage to look up at his lover and profess: "I have those kinds of doubts… thinking of how amazing you are… if I could measure up."

Subaru was about to protest, with a million reasons Kamui was more than worthy of everything this world could offer. His younger love pressed a soft finger to his lips.

"But I don't want to think that anymore…" Kamui shook his head and bit slightly on his lips. 'Only Subaru could get me to say these… embarrassing things…' His expression beats up to a bright shade of rose pink. "Because I can't help but feel… when we are together like this." A demonstration is brought as their hands' lace together. "It's right, we are entirely perfect for each other."

Subaru looks over Kamui with an unrelenting love in his heart. Without another word, he pulls Kamui aside, taking his lover out of the main road and behind a more private forestry area. They disappear between an array of tall maple trees.

Kamui finds his breath hitching, very much missing hits. His back is made to press between warmth and the trunk of an old maple tree. Endearing lips descend upon his own as he finds his hands pinned by Subaru's longer ones. There are countless soft presses, caresses, and melding of their lips. Their original destination and plans are far from Kamui's mind, he kisses back with a deep passion. But as suddenly as it began, those lips retreated, brushing by his ear.

"I love you, Kamui." Subaru hushes warmly, right into Kamui's ear.

The younger male blushed a deep shade of crimson as how low and sultry his boyfriend whispered those words. He placed a hand over his affected ear feeling the heat.

The older male then has the audacity to take them back out onto the main road, as though nothing happened. Well, nothing unusual when it came to the two of them. But still… it was far too short-lived.

Kamui sulks a little at the sudden tease. Though he does smile a little, weak to the feeling where Subaru snakes his arm snuggly around his waist, so they can flush closer. Kamui can still feel those heated words being spoken.

Their destination comes into view within a few short moments. The various shades of lush green trees surround the area. Through a comfortable silence, they arrived.

The Kifune Shrine was before them both. A quiet, beautiful water shrine with quite a bit of focus upon deep love and connection. Today seemed to favor the couple, the sun shined beautifully, and few visitors were passing them by.

"It's really beautiful…" Kamui speaks in awe. His violet eyes shimmer as they take in everything from the lush green leaves upon surrounding cedar trees to the melodic streams surrounded by a rainbow of blooming flowers. There's a nice breeze in the air. The sound of waterfalls and crystal clear streams are enough to calm anyone's nerves.

There's a traditional Japanese archway overhead the vast staircase. The gorgeous red coloring is a perfect pair to the red railing on the stairs and light posts shaped like tiny houses, on either side of the steps. It was too early for them to shine, but the hanging lanterns and blooming flowers felt like stepping into a fairytale.

Kamui's admiration is recorded safely within his lover's heart.

"I'm guessing you like it?" Subaru teases lightly, before taking Kamui's hand and kissing it. This brings the younger man out of his reverie.

"I… of course I love it," Kamui answers in a hushed tone. He averts his gaze, feeling all too effective eyes upon him. Glancing up he flusters looking at the visitors walking up the steps. All but a few are couples. "W-where are we?"

Subaru's lips curl into an intimate smile. He tucks a few locks of wind-blown hair behind Kamui's ear. "We're at the Kifune Shrine."

"It's so soothing here…" Kamui notions towards the various streams of water, and pure scenery one could only get from nature. His lover nods.

"There's more I want you to see," Subaru returns with a whimsical shine in his eyes. "Shall we?" His hand waves towards the expansive staircase.

"Yes." Kamui beams with bright enthusiasm. He snuggles up close, quite pleased there was some privacy with the lack of crowds. They ascend the stairs slowly at first pointing out different streams and flowers along the way.

"It's peaceful here, like stepping into a world away from Tokyo," Kamui explains with a soft laugh. He would always love Tokyo for the good memories there. The bustling and modernized city had its ups and downs.

"It is," Subaru agrees with a hum. "I heard about this place one time from…" He cuts himself off a bit, voice going weak.

"From your sister?" Kamui supplies, voice tender and assuring. His eyes shiver with a bit of worry, knowing the pains of his lover's past.

"Yes…" Subaru responds quietly. He shakes his head. "Though I never bothered to look further into it until a few hours ago."

"Did she know about a lot of the shrines here?" Kamui asks, hoping it's not too invasive.

Subaru reddens, coughing a bit. "Ah… no just the ones…" He feels a fluttering in his stomach at how Kamui looks up at him with such devotion. "Ones that were… more romantic ."

"Oh," Kamui flushes too, unable to process how easily one person could make his heart skyrocket. Though looking deeper into Subaru's expression, he purrs, indulging in his lover's cutest sides coming out. "That would explain all the couples."

Subaru bites his lip a bit and nods to this. "It's a shrine dedicated to the God of water and rain, but also enshrines the God of matchmaking."

"I would say we've taken care of the...m-matching aspect," Kamui simply nuzzles his head against his boyfriend's side. He beams with the protective arm around him. He can't help but purr at his boyfriend's sweet actions and how they make him blush. Then there was still that frustration when Subaru got too overprotective.

'How can one person… make me feel this much?' Kamui thinks breathlessly. Violet-blue eyes glimmer wishing to well up with deep emotions.

"Yes," Subaru agrees, still flushing. "And I think the powers here would be considered more of a blessing for couples who've found each other. The shrine the deity is hosted in is known as. 'The Shrine of Love'."

"And that's where we are heading?" Kamui correctly guesses though he can't help but glow a bit pink. It seemed the interest in the romantic aspects of love was found in both Sumeragi twins.

"Yes," Subaru replies simply enough. Though there's a certain flair of mystery as he expresses. "And one another place."

"Which is…?" Kamui asks all too curious.

"You'll see when we are there," Subaru promises with a glowing, angelic smile.

"OK then…" Kamui expresses but finds he might be a little too used to Subaru usually indulging him in anything he wanted to know.

After the journey up the stairs, the tender couple found themselves within the main area of their destination. They looked over at the various attractions. Couples gathered by a small pond, fortune-telling by pouring water over slips of paper. There were various talismans and related gifts in nearby stalls. One tree caught their eye decorated beautifully with colorful paper slips, depicting countless written desires.

Subaru and Kamui shared an enamored gaze. They nodded to each other with a sense of understanding as they stopped by to write their wish.

"What are you wishing for?" Kamui asked curiously, seeing his lover waste no time, knowing exactly what he wished for most.

"You'll see soon," Subaru teased, as he finished up writing his own 'wish.'

"Fine," Kamui responded with mock exasperation. He followed suit with his wish and hung it up soon after.

Subaru and Kamui were both a bit eager to read what the other had written. They would work to fulfill that wish.

They didn't even need to look, as their wishes were one and the same.

'I wish for the person I love the most to be happy.'

Kamui leaned up on his tiptoes, giving his boyfriend a discreet kiss on the lips. Subaru rested their foreheads together, and they shared a hopeless, love-sick smile. If there were an epitome of happiness, perhaps it would be being right here.

They had eventually made their way towards the aforementioned shrine of love. There was only one other couple there ahead of them, praying at the shrine. When they had left they walked further up the stone steps, praying for their bond to only grow closer from here on.

"I had never considered myself the romantic type…" Kamui admits, feeling a little sheepish.

"Oh?" Subaru waits for his love to continue.

"But, now I find I really love these kinds of things because I experience them… with you." Kamui hurried out a bit, turning on his heel as his face grew hot. His gaze was caught upon the stone steps below.

Yet, his lover wasn't willing to give that up. He grasped Kamui's wrist and pulled him back to face him. Gingerly, Subaru leaned in, pressing his lips and leading Kamui into a slow, yet enchanting kind of kiss. The hand within his hair and upon his hip kept him close. All of this left Kamui a little breathless.

"I feel the same," Subaru finally returns, seeing his flushed lover in a bit of a daze. He cups Kamui's cheek. "Hearing you say things like that… makes me incredibly happy."

"I...I'm glad," Kamui says, coming out of his kiss-filled daze.

'I can't manage to say those things all the time just yet… but I do love seeing it makes you happy...'

"I love you, Subaru." Kamui professes, feeling a lightness return within him. He only now realizes how little he expressed those words today. They had been so caught up in the past events, the pain, and the challenges that came with the fear of loss. This was overdue.

"I love you too," Subaru's lips immediately curve, his eyes brightened and smiling. "Always."

Subaru grasps Kamui's hand, inspired to go towards their next destination. Hearing Kamui had grown to love romance gave him confidence this was a good idea. Perhaps, he was a bit sappy but… some things couldn't be helped.

"I have somewhere else I want to take you," Subaru explains as he and his love descend the stone steps. There's a bit of a walk, wrapped in comfortable silence and then they approach a sign.

"What's this?" Kamui questions seeing as they stop before an old wooden sign.

The symbols seemed to spell out something related to the road itself and 'romance', and Kamui can take a hint.

"This is where I wanted to take you," Subaru admits, cheeks painting a little pink. "It's referred to as… The Path of Love."

"Oh." Kamui breathes, feeling his heart rate pick up again. More than anything the fact Subaru picked this place and thought of him was… far too sweet. Subaru gazes at him with so much love, need, and adoration. It's a little hard to breathe and Kamui can't find the words to place this. Or any words.

Subaru takes his silence with a bit of nervousness. "Is it… too much? You had said you hadn't minded romantic things before and so I-"

Kamui leaned upon his tiptoes, pressing a finger over his lover's lips. He was about to kiss him until he heard some light giggling.

An elderly couple was walking by them. They looked towards the young men with fondness before one murmured something akin to ' aw, young love.'

Kamui was certain he couldn't possibly blush deeper than this. His hands went to cover his face, feeling quite a bit of heat. He quickly dove his head into his boyfriend's chest to hide. Subaru chuckled at this, though he wasn't doing much better. It didn't matter how often these things happened, it was still a bit embarrassing. The 'curse' of being an attractive young couple in love.

They are content to stay within each other's arms, a bit to the side should others need to pass. They do break apart but find it hard to look into the other's eyes without flushing.

Still, this kind of feeling was nice. Subaru offers, extending his hand out towards his younger love

"So…." Subaru clears his throat. "Will you walk won the…" He flushes red, laughing at his following words. "'Path of Love', with me?"

Kamui blinks, studying his boyfriend's expressions. There is just the way that soft, mushy words make him melt, laughing blissfully. Violet-blue orbs view as light touches his eyes and the top of his head. Surely, someone from the heavens could say something like that and have it ring like an angel's choir.

Kamui laughs lightly and a little nervously. He does think over the words themselves. I am way too far gone… He realizes once again.

"Sorry, I know the way that sounded…" Subaru can't fully finish. He scratches his cheek.

Kamui shakes his head. "No, it sounds wonderful." His boyfriend looks a bit unconvinced. "It's… really cute how you asked it like that. So of course., my answer is yes." Kamui speaks as he takes his boyfriend's hand within his own. He steals his taller love's lips swiftly, whispering warmly. "I'll go anywhere with you."

Subaru reddens, lips parting but with no response. Kamui was the cute one after all. Incredibly so. But… he found himself not minding it. Kamui spoke with sincerity. It wasn't like the times Seishirou had called him that, sounding more like a tease or mockery of some sort. Though it was hard to say he ever understood his first love's intentions, and how he really felt.

They fall into a blissful world, continuing along the romantic road ahead of them. The various streams and waterfalls are filled with crystal blue waters. The various wildlife seems contended, birds singing peacefully; adding to the symphony of this natural path. The mood was far too nice.

Subaru found himself thinking a bit clearer. He admires the perfect love right at his side, sees the way his eyes light up, and sparkle at every new flower, animal, or stream. Then there's how perfectly their hands' slot together.

"Kamui…."

"Yes?"

Subaru bows his head softly. "I'm sorry."

Kamui looks up blinking. His lips curl to a pained frown. "For what?" Mind already far from the issues of earlier today.

"It's still difficult for me to grasp… I have someone important to me again. And the thought you could slip away...just like that...it terrified me"

Kamui's eyes gloss over with deep compassion. His voice falls out tenderly, reaching for his beloved's cheek. "Subaru…"

"I… I know I haven't been fair…" Subaru reasons, holding the beautiful hand upon his cheek

Kamui computes what he's referring to earlier. He nods, looking towards his lover to go on.

"I… don't think I can handle losing someone I love again…" Subaru has to take a breath.

"I'm not going anywhere," Kamui squeezes his hand in assurance. He leans up to linger his lips over Subaru's cheek.

"It… I just felt… so close to losing you-and I was… so, so afraid… like I hadn't been in some time."

"I'm sorry I put you through that…" Kamui expresses with some guilt. "It wasn't my choice nor ever would it cause you so much pain… I'm sorry if I've been pushy… I should consider more on just how difficult this has been on you."

"You don't need to apologize for anything," Subaru reasons, shaking his head. He took his precious love back into his arms. Kamui instantly returned the embrace, arms circling his lover's neck. "You have every right to be frustrated… I've been so afraid of losing anyone again… it's made me a bit overprotective."

"A bit?" Kamui teases softly. He pecks and licks at his lover's lips in assurance there was no ill will.

"I...just don't know how to handle these feelings…" Subaru trails off with his explanation. His chest clenches, making him bring Kamui a little bit tighter in the embrace. "I don't think I'll ever stop worrying something could happen to you…"

"Subaru…" Kamui breathes softly. He lets his hands fall, caressing his boyfriend's neck and shoulders. "I feel I understand a bit how you feel… the thought of losing you scares me too. It's another part of why I want to work at your side."

"Kamui…" Subaru breathes out, kissing soft temples over and over. It never feels like enough. He steals Kamui into a sweet kiss. "I won't leave you, ever." He promises, vying to defy fate is needed to hold to that promise.

"I know you wouldn't…" Kamui whispers. 'I'll do everything I can to prevent a fate like that.'

"You're incredibly strong Kamui. Your powers and your heart" Subaru mentions with a sense of praise. "I've always known that… but I...I'm sure I will always still feel the need to protect you."

"My Subaru," Kamui coos, hoping to ease the situation. He snuggles his head upon a warm chest, listening to his heart's melody. "I do love how...how devoted you are. I just want to believe in myself... Lean on me a little more."

"I worry… you'll only continue to grow your powers, to a point where I can't save you. And when you control that you'll seem farther away…" Subaru admits, voice breaking a bit. The very heart of the matter rises to the surface.

"I hate the thought of not being able to protect you, to keep you safe. Because then in a sense… you wouldn't need me anym-nmmph"

Kamui quickly sealed his lover's lips before he could go any further with that thought. He takes his lover in a languid kiss, melding their lips.

When they part there's a mix of emotions Kamui wasn't used to feeling, not with Subaru. But hearing Subaru say those things… was starting to make him angry. Kamui cups both of his love's cheeks and looks deep into those emerald-gold orbs.

"I will always need you!" Kamui proclaims this tenaciously. There's no room for argument. "It doesn't matter who is stronger than who… or if you were never to protect me again."

"Kamui…" Subaru finds his throat going dry.

"I need you, Sumeragi Subaru," Kamui proclaims precisely, keeping his love's gaze on him intently. He bursts out with a mix of far too many emotions. His heart thunders as his eyes quiver, ready to water. "I didn't fall in love with you, because you could protect me! Of course, when you have it touches my heart I love feeling safe with you … but I fell in love because you're… you… my sweet, kind, perfect Subaru." He can't fight the tears anymore, waves of emotion rush down his cheeks.

Subaru quickly pulls him in, making Kamui's head return to his chest. He accepts and takes in the depth of every tear falling from his beloved's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kamui," Subaru professes and brings Kamui up for some time. It's too hard to express without looking into those beautiful eyes. "I never meant to make you cry..."

They fall deeply into each other's eyes. The complex emotions and sincerity speak stronger than words could possibly hope.

"I'm only crying because… I feel this so deeply." Kamui shakes his head. "It's almost terrifying… how you could make my day or… tear at my heart with a look, a few words…"

"Please, Subaru, don't ever say things like that…"

"I...I won't…" Subaru's voice cuts off, their bodies pull close and lips connect again countless times. This time Subaru can taste the tears from Kamui's cheeks. He ensures to kiss them away before they part. The moments before they part lingers with raw emotions...leave them deep within their thoughts.

"We… ah still have a bit of the trail left to walk… if you'd like." Subaru manages to voice.

Kamui's cheeks lift at the gentle offer. "I would like to."

"And…" Subaru starts with hesitation.

Kamui tilts his head to the side cutely. He nuzzled his lover's chest.

"I… I… still don't feel so great about it… but maybe there is a solution I haven't seen to help with your Onmyouji training… so what happened before won't happen again."

"I can… come back to work with you?" Kamui beams, at the idea. He doesn't wish to get his hopes up, but it still feels so promising.

"Ah… possibly… yes… right now I'll just have to see if...there are solutions to helping you manage your power, and we'll go from there.." Subaru's answer is less than assuring but certainly better than earlier.

"Okay, I'll be happy to go for whatever training I may need...so long as it means I'm with you" Kamui expresses with a great deal of devotion. Though a certain other thought desire can't help but blood his mind. "But for today, I want to enjoy the rest of this date and…" Kamui coughs, a little unsure if he should tease the words. "perhaps a bit after."

"After?" Subaru raises a brow at this notion. When it does sink in, he blushes. Kamui looks ahead, being able to hide his pink cheeks. From there they follow along the 'Path of Love', a weight lifted between the two of them, they'd forgotten they'd held for some time.

It's all too easy to fall into a calmer, loving mood with the scenery around them. Perhaps the shrine of love and bonding was not just a legend.

After their date, they did finally return to their guest home. He grasps Subaru's hand and leads them towards their bedroom at a quick rate. Subaru was pleasantly surprised to find a passionate Kamui easily pinning him to their bed, stealing his lips soundly. There was a sense of proving to his beloved not only his strength but just how deeply he needed Subaru.

-End-

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There were a lot of emotions and events going on from here. It's a bit longer than planned and there were other chapter moments/ideas I'll be using for the next update. I wanted to have a hopeful chapter ending, amongst the uncertainties. There will be more to explore with Kamui, and options of managing his power to prevent it from putting too much of a strain on him. They will get there with enough. Thank you all for reading this story as well as for the kudos, comments, bookmarks. Those make my day. It's been a long road for this story that was originally meant to be a one-shot then two-shot and so on until we are here...I do plan on continuing the story until I come to an ending (and a fluffy epilogue to follow up). I hope you all are doing well, take good care of yourselves, and have a good weekend!