Ambrosia 23: Gentiana Part 1
Gentiana can symbolize: passion, loveliness, sweetness, and charm
I'm finally getting around to a very intimate start of the story. There is a dream sequence at the beginning that references a scene from the Manga volume 19? Though not an official volume there are translations to it and Kamui sees Subaru who tries to help him realize his true wish. I always wonder what that would be. Feel free to let me know what you think his 'true wish' may have been ^_^
This chapter has a rather mature scene: please see the uncensored chapter on my a03 under 'ayaxroses' -the full chapter is here without spaces "shorturl . at / dvFM1" A clickable link is also in the author bio
-True Wish-
This nightmare, that mirrored reality. Destruction. Absolute chaos and disarray took over.
Everything ached. The deep gashes bleeding out and scars to form would be the least of the pain.
For this was that day. The day the earth's fate was destined to be decided. Kamui's heart ached to look across to see all too familiar amber eyes.
Mysterious eyes that used to gloss over at him with so much love and dedication were steeled over with an icy malevolence. Loving eyes that would tell him, "I'll always be there to protect you..." have changed.
But wasn't that concept… far too late now?
Fuuma wasn't his Fuuma anymore. This battlefield… was off yet oddly familiar. Their final battle was predicted to take place within a landmark of Tokyo.
Yet, it was hard to tell exactly where they were now. Countless earthquakes begin splitting right through the streets, buildings, homes of others. The blinding light in the form of a dragon was frighteningly beautiful. This was reality, the painful image of the Dragon's of Heaven claiming their revolution to restore this damaged world.
Now, he could feel it. Feel that this dreaded day will come to pass. Kamui's ears still rang hearing the shinken and twin star calling for him, yet in a different voice. It was Fuuma but yet nothing like him. The tone was sinister, devious, and full of blood lust.
Kamui's lips curved down, he winces painfully, if nothing else to break his mind from the destructive sight. With a sense of obligation, to others, to the world, and to his own destiny he begins to un-sheath the sword from its clothing wrapping. Of course, this kind of cover was removed fairly easily.
Kamui is drawn to the light reflecting within the bright silver blade. The shinken, this holy weapon that would decide it all.
Because… their destiny was decided long ago.
Kamui's heart churns upon recalling his late mother's words.
What is destiny? A young version of himself asked warily.
"It's when the future has already been decided beforehand." His mother spoke of this solemnly, as though it were one of the universal truths.
Yet… There was a small beacon of hope. As her words continue. "But if It's you. It's possible you can change your destiny. Please become stronger, Kamui."
"Do you still believe I could change this destiny? mother…" Kamui murmurs to himself so bittersweet. "Or were your words purely a hopeful wish…" Words to give a young child destined to bear the literal weight of the world.
He could feel it in his core that this was the time to act, there was little time left for their lives as it was now.
The time was here… he was to meet Fuuma. Yet, the face he wore now shows how much of it was Fuuma and how much was the earth's Kamui.
It does look so beautiful… Though feeling guilty, Kamui couldn't fight the thought. The water was crystal, pure and glimmering. Its purest and most precious form. Surely something like this would restore their earth to its most beautiful state.
But…although it is a beautiful sight. You can't see anybody in 'this' Tokyo. Kamui came to, while his eyes shivered at the fate before him
The city apart from there… was dreadfully empty and hollow. Amongst the deadly earthquakes followed a deep flood. A "city of water".
His wish… that's all he needed to hold on to now. This was his last chance… for so so many reasons.
"Kamui," Fuuma calls to him, cooly. His eyes hold that same facade, the coldness and darkness of this Fuuma… no this 'Kamui'.
Fuuma's arm is extended out towards the other Kamui. His own shinken, in hand, pointed forward, the tip aimed at the tip of Kamui's head. In turn, Kamui held his own blade out, its length geared at his 'twin star's core.
Kamui's eyebrows lowered, as his eyes searched for traces of the one he had given his heart to…Those happy memories seemed so very long ago.
Kamui's mind was sent a brutal image. Kanoe, hanging lifelessly by the cruel hands crushing around her neck. The pained cries… weeping from Hinoto… sounds Kamui knew he'd never forget.
But now… it was all too much.
"Was what I saw true? Did you kill Hinoto's sister?" Kamui questioned with an unsettling anger building inside. Of course, he wanted to believe he was truly wrong… about everything he saw.
"What do you think?" Fuuma returns his question with another, following a more cryptic answer. An answer bringing the one he's always loved most, shivers. "Do you think I did it, Kamui? Humans only see what they want to see. Believe what they want to believe. You… seem to believe."
Believe this was… indeed the truth of their harsh reality.
"If you think I killed that girl. If that is the Truth to you, then that's your wish."
Kamui felt his blood run cold at the answer. His eyes steeled over with a wounded gaze. My wish…
That… that was… her life was in his control? This hell they were in here… because Kamui believed in this reality.
Kamui's heart seizes its anxious pounding. His eyes widen at the sudden breeze in the wind. A Cloaked member...another Dragon of Heaven perhaps?
But… when a black glove comes out, pulling off the head garment, Kamui sees it. His eyes widen as he feels a part of himself… drowning.
"Su… Baru…" Kamui barely managed to breathe the name of his…? What were they here? What was he to anyone in this nightmare? or...a cruel alternative reality? All of this… felt so terribly wrong.
The image of the kind soul that brought Kamui out from the agony in his heart, was that too about to be broken?
"Why…"
"What do you think?" Fuuma returned automatically, so unfeeling. No, if there was a feeling… it would be raw intrigue like this was an elaborate game being played out. "That's the answer."
Kamui's face turns crestfallen. He hides further pain behind the waves of raven locks shielding over his eyes.
'This too… is what I wished for?' Kamui's thoughts of this possibility create an agonizing ache. There was so much loss and destruction... He could count on most of the other Dragons of Heaven, his beloved friends, as being away from this all… but for so long…
'For so long. I had no idea where you had gone…' Kamui's violet orbs gloss over before looking at his former ally? He slightly trembles, seeing the sheer loneliness… the void taking over all light in his eyes.
While Kamui turns back to his twin star, there's a tinge of… sadness… emotion beyond what he had grown used to seeing. There's something that drops from Fuuma's voice, making it sound even more hollow.
"Let me…" 'That'Fuuma takes over. "Make your wish come true, Kamui," he offers with a cold tone.
Kamui's eyes harden, he bites the inside of his lip. There's a coldness, a glare towards whatever it was that was causing it.
'And you, bringing… someone so kind into this.. who's already gone through so much pain! Why? It feels so wrong!'
Kamui couldn't wrap his head around it. Of course, he wanted to see Subaru again… perhaps even so much as to say he wished for that… but certainly not on the battlefield.
A burst of blinding power radiates off of Fuuma. The "Kamui of Earth", expends a blinding light that eradicates several more buildings surrounding them.
'Is this all… just to taunt me?' Kamui felt torn. He didn't know so much anger and sadness could take over at once but… that's what it felt like. 'If that's the case, why?/
This was being taken far too personally. The mass amounts of debris coming from the breaking buildings, find their way, aiming towards where he knew his friends were.
Of course, Fuuma would know as well, and use this against him.
The painted anger seeps through Kamui's system as he bolts up. Finally, he's started to take action, his body seems to move ahead of his mind. He swoops in recklessly raising his hand into the air like a burst of energy rushes over him like a hurricane. Driven, to take out whatever had taken over his beloved childhood friend, he shifts that power. His arm extends out, aiming the burst of power towards Fuuma.
Though, for some reason, it feels too easy. There isn't resistance nor an attempt to pull back. No, Fuuma looks him right in the eyes with a darkened and unknown emotion taking over.
Kamui finds his heart torn as he witnesses the 'other kamui' take the hit in full. He's made now to watch the body of his beloved friend fall back.
Even Subaru takes notice of Kamui's swift attack, with a pang of sadness. His lips seem permanently lost in that crestfallen curve.
There's no kekkai to be formed here, not from Subaru nor Kamui… so of course, more destruction can come out of it. Albeit, Kamui was quite certain the victims of his blast were purely things instead of people. This reality of Tokyo felt... rather empty.
Kamui watches his once-beloved rest his hand upon the hilt of the sword. He begins to rise again, holding to his own sword for balance. Violet-blue orbs become drowned within a deeper wave of emotion than the flooded city itself.
"Even if you hurt me, Kamui, you still want 'Fuuma' back right?" the clear voice of earth's Kamui lashes back, aiming straight to the heart. There's such vindication in his voice, eyes, aura, everything.
Kamui turns away from away, his gaze focused down on the submerged Tokyo.
"But your real wish is different," Fuuma proclaims, with certainty. It comes out frighteningly assured, the truth.
"What?" Kamui quickly calls out. His soul becomes wide awake. 'That's not...possible….'
"But…" That presence, taking over Fuuma only continues. "That's your wish… I guess you won't realize your real wish until the final battle, Kamui." He once again draws his sword out towards the Kamui of Heaven.
Kamui turns down to his own shinken; it's glowing with need.
Becoming airborne again, both Fuuma and Kamui leap high above the rooftops. Their holy swords clash, meeting all too evenly again and again.
The cries of his friends are heard in the faint distance. This makes Kamui quicken his pace.
'I have to believe in my wish… otherwise, just what have I been fighting for?'
Kamui's thoughts overcome him as he falls. Lying flat on his back he looks up to see his persecuted standing above him. The tip of Fuuma's sword is placed over Kamui's heart, taunting.
"My wish is to bring Fuuma back even if…" Kamui braces himself to look fully again into the eyes of one he swore to bring back home. At the time, no matter the pain and guilt his best friend was brought...he wished for it all the same. "Even if I hurt Fuuma himself."
With more strength, or perhaps stubbornness, Kamui declares this. He more boldly proclaims. "That's my wish, there is no other wish…!" There's a fire lit in his eyes again. He can't let himself be deceived by the one keeping Fuuma away from him.
But… he wasn't prepared for all of this. For the silent observer of their battle to speak up.
"There is one, Kamui," Subaru informs, with an overwhelming sense of dejection. After all, his own wish had...been long since denied.
"You don't realize, but it's in there." Subaru turns to look Kamui clearly in the eyes.
The younger man finds himself finally realizing this. Finally, taking in the eyes of the one he cares for so deeply. They're different since they had last seen each other.
The emerald still holds that sense of the real Subaru even if it's dim. Then there's a new yet familiar flash of gold.
Kamui intuitively finds his answer. 'The Sakurazukamori.' It had to be his eyes there was no one else that Subaru would accept after being granted his agonized wish.
"Subaru…" Kamui breathes out the name. He hates himself for letting the voice cut so easily into his heart.
"If you don't realize it. Nothing will change." Subaru pleads with him, seemingly hurting to speak like this. There's emotion amongst the numbness of his eyes, but only of pain and heartache.
Kamui isn't granted time to think this through. As the voice of his twin star speaks out." "That's why you can't beat me, Kamui."
But... My wish is to get Fuuma back. Kamui finds his heart deeply ingrained in this, even if there were a truer wish… it didn't mean he could ever give up on this. My wish. I have already decided. No matter what!
Kamui's bloodied hand grips the holy weapon. No matter what, for Fuuma!
"Please, Kamui," Subaru speaks again, reaching his hand out towards the younger man. He steps forward, a strong feeling to come to the boy's side overwhelms him.
Subaru knows of and feels the possessive nature Fuuma holds over Kamui. A possessiveness equal to the earth Kamui's bloodlust.
'You care for him, don't you. The other Kamui I mean?' Fuuma's words ring through his mind again, cutting right into his heart. A heart that he spent years trying to harden, to keep anyone else from entering inside. Subaru curses inside himself, he can't bring himself to step in, to reach for Kamui, for his heart.
"Please Kamui," Subaru cries out a bit more desperately. "You need to search the depths of your heart. You will find your true wish. You can only create the change if you accept just what that is."
Kamui's heart stirs from the words. The emotion running rampant tugs at his heartstrings violently. "But my wish…" It didn't ring true… his wish… his true wish… but bringing Fuuma back felt too strong. What else could it possibly be?!
"I don't have another one," Kamui reports, stubborn in his decision.
Subaru pleads to him once more. "Search within yourself… I know you more than anyone… can change the fate we've been given." He feels his heart pounding, aching terribly for the young boy. Aching for someone outside of his first love? "But you have to remember."
"I-!"
…
"I-I just don't know it!" Kamui pleads from the depths of his dream. "Pl-please...I…" The troubled boy continues to cry out tossing and turning in the sheets, as much as the protective arms around him will allow. His heart aches, torn in the dream world version of the one he loved and his present beloved.
This outburst brings emerald and golden orbs to quickly rise open. His heart aches and immediately draws to a comforting action. His arms tighten instinctively around his smaller lover before his eyes are fully awake.
"Kamui…" Subaru whispers tenderly. Unfortunately, he has grown accustomed to this scenario. Gentle hands curl over the thin male's hip, whilst one rests on the exposed stomach beneath the lavender pajama top. Closing his eyes, he senses the wild bursts of power and energy shifting in Kamui.
Subaru winced slightly, feeling the stomach contract and tighten beneath his fingertips. The taller male leans up gently peering over to see the worry lines and the pained way his love's face scrunched up.
"Kamui…" Subaru coos the name, with extra sweetness falling from his lips. "Darling," He breathes warmly upon the boy's neck. Those same lips plant a kiss, and curl, feeling Kamui's "It's all going to be okay."
"I…" Kamui breathes the worries out shakily. His lips quiver. Subaru looks over to witness his lover's eyes are still closed, lost in whatever nightmare ensues. "I just… I don't know! So please!" Kamui's small hand clenched in tight against his chest.
Delicately, Subaru draws out long, deep, and focused exhales. The hand upon the younger man's core begins to warm, Subaru concentrates on a little calming spell for his love.
As Kamui's energy begins to mellow, Subaru breathes out in deep relief. This goes double, as he witnesses that beautiful violet-blue. As enchanted as they kept Subaru, the shivering keeps him, more worried than anything.
Up close and personal, as they always found themselves, it was easy to feel the cold sweat his poor beloved had broken into.
"Kamui," Subaru affectionately murmurs to the boy. His heart melts a little at the way his lover rolls over so quickly that they are facing one another. The way Kamui snuggles closely, nuzzling his face into the older man's shirt is precious. It would be more adorable under different circumstances. "Are you alright?"
Kamui nods into the soft pajama top, breathing in a comfortable scent. 'As much as I can be'. "I… I think yeah it was just…" He makes a whining sound like all too vivid images resurface.
"A nightmare?" Subaru finishes for his frazzled lover. His hands comb at the back of the raven head, and the boy's lower back.
"Mhm…" Kamui begins, uncertain. He clutches his lover's shoulders. "I could feel you with me… a-after it all." He admits while being a little abashed. "Y-your energy… and warmth...in me…"
"Ka...Kamui," Subaru finds his mind coming to a halt, just how that sounded. He shook it off quickly enough. "Yes… you were talking in your sleep...it sounded… pained."
"Y-yeah…''Kamui agrees, not able to deny it for the life of him." It was..." He breathes in a weaker voice, before burying his face again.
"Oh, Kamui," Subaru soothes as gently and softly as his voice will allow. "My Kamui," Subaruprofesses so protective and openly with love, it stirs the boy's heart.
Kamui feels warmth through their physical bodies, minds, heart… and perhaps even their souls have come together.
"Everything will be alright," Subaru assures, regardless of his lack of knowledge of the situation. He further reminds his lover, "I'm right here with you."
Kamui is tugged a little tighter against the larger form. Of course, he is helpless to do anything but cuddle up into that addicting warmth. It's already too late to stop himself when he finds his nose buried between the neck and collar of his lover. But he breathes him in more directly...
His cheeks burn, realizing what he had done but what he was done. But… Subaru's scent. Kamui's lovesick brain is far too gone on it. The scent is a mix of freshly bloomed cherry blossoms, pine, and another… sweeter scent purely of his Subaru.
"Kamui…" Subaru finds himself mildly surprised at first. Yet, his instincts are to protect and soothe his distraught lover.
'Whatever Kamui needs from me is all his anyway. '
Subaru finds it would be easier if Kamui's actions didn't bring out heat in his stomach. The younger boy's addictive pheromones have become quite prominent.
While...his lover may laugh at the idea, Subaru wants to be at least semi-prepared for their first time. When it felt completely and perfectly right.
Now, he was overwhelmed with guilt at even feeling heated at a time like this.
"You're indescribable," Subaru lavishes his lover with words that come as easily as breathing. "So... so perfect and so sweet like this I…" His throat goes dry thinking about it.
Kamui peers up a bit shyly at his lover. He mumbles a few words, amongst which embarrassed whines.
Subaru never found himself to be gifted with his choice of words. Only with Kamui, had his heart learned to vocalize a fraction of how deeply his heartbeat for the other.
Kamui does lean up a little bit. There's an abashed smile. Those beautifully long fingers curl to brush hair behind his ear that had fallen in front of his face.
Subaru's heart and lower extremities feel a tug and warmth spread over him.
Kamui seals their lips together, presenting his beloved a thankful and adoring kiss. There is that spark, that magic going between them as they both close their eyes and lose themselves to the sensations. Soft upon softer lips meld and caress each other with an ever-growing need for more.
No matter how often they did this… it was never enough. Always, they always had to return for more. That went double as they would embrace tightly. Subaru sweetly lifts and guides Kamui to rest on top of his own body, furthering their kiss into a soft but still passion-fueled makeout session.
It's hard to know how long it's been until they break for air. There's an unmistakable sense of bliss between them.
"Can we stay like this….?" Kamui whispers. He clarified further with, "Not going to sleep just yet… but just...like we are now."
"Of course," Subaru returns with a dreamy smile. He kisses the top of his lover's head. They stay just as they are.
Kamui calms with the sound of a lulling heartbeat. He nuzzles his head all across his lover's chest in a way that makes his lover purr. He appreciates the skips in beats and occasionally speeding the pace of the heart every time he touches or snuggles up more against his lover's form. This makes him feel a sense of accomplishment.
"Kamui," Subaru coos his beloved's name amongst a few other pet names. Some old, some new yet everyone stirring up his heart and/or letting his heart race. He came to realize his lover held the dangerous power to make him melt completely over a few sweet nothings.
"Thank you, Subaru," Kamui turns to his beloved.
"I didn't do much…" Subaru humbly responds, as always. And Kamui's heart replies in kind, as always.
"You did…" Kamui ensures and seals his lover's protests with a swift kiss. He rests his forehead upon the man under him. "You always do." Another kiss, or two, or three or like twenty ensue. It's perfect.
Of course, there are still things… from earlier that left the younger male shaken up.
"I… had a very strange dream this time…" Kamui speaks out, returning to nuzzling his beloved's chest.
"Do you... want to talk about it?" Subaru offers kindly and rubs circles behind his lover's back.
"Yes…" Kamui answers so softly. It's not always he feels ready or willing to keep those nightmares to himself. At least for a few hours.
"Actually… I…" He starts off, his lips quivering as those familiar haunting feelings return to him. "I…know it was a nightmare… but it felt so real. Like I had gone back in time… to some alternate reality of that day."
"Kamui…" Subaru soothes breathing the name gently.
"A-and I think the worst part is… I didn't feel I was in it… like I was watching myself replay that final… battle… and this 'me' wasn't even aware of life beyond all that pain." Making it all the more impossible.
"That must have been terrifying," Subaru returns with great sympathy, always validating everything he can about his love.
"Mhm," Kamui nods. His eyes quiver alongside his lips. "I had to fight… with Fuuma again. He was so far gone…" Kamui could never forget that day, that feeling. "His eyes were just hollow, and whatever overtook him to become the 'other Kamui' was in full control."
The younger man grits his teeth. He closes his eyes for a moment of clarity. "I hated that. The gentle amber eyes, the voice that spoke to always be there, and protect me… was gone…"
"I-I am so sorry," Subaru forms the words out. Though he finds himself a little bit extra protective. His arms circle around Kamui tighter, and he can't help the slight grimace, hearing the pained words. He believed and felt Kamui's love being solely for him, in that way.
But… it didn't fully quell a bit of jealousy. Fuuma, as well as Kotori both, got to see and know a Kamui he never knew. A Kamui before he was further shaped by this cruel destiny.
"His gentleness that I remembered was… entirely void. Though for a brief time I saw sadness, in the real Fuuma's eyes… like he was pleading. I wanted to help him so badly to bring him back to the Fuuma I'd known..."
"I know…" Subaru sulked a bit, understanding but still feeling the fondness as Kamui spoke. "His importance to you… and I-I'm sorry even if in a dream you couldn't be given that chance… to reunite with the one you hold so dear…" It didn't help to know the man held Kamui's heart prior and took his lover's first kiss… "I hope You would only have…. peaceful dreams, w-with Fuuma as you remember him…t-that would be so much better…"
"Subaru?" Kamui picks up on the jealousy and insecurity following his love's voice and actions.
"I-I truly do mean that!" Subaru assures with "I know of my own past with betrayal's… seeing the one you love wearing a different mask is...painful."
"I know that," Kamui laughs gently, feeling a bit lighter. "It was just… a little cute." He gushes a little, finding this side of his boyfriend precious.
Subaru averted his eyes for a second, clearing his throat. Kamui marveled at the red and pink painting over his lover's features.
"You do know I'm yours?" Kamui couldn't help the playful banter.
"I do know," Subaru finds himself replying instantly, surprising both himself and his lover. Seeing the blood rushing even harder to Kamui's cheeks, and everything they were discussing brought on a drive to claim and confirm that status "Because I'm yours as well."
The younger male couldn't help but burn up a bit. His ears were reddening, at just… the assurance his lover held. He was Subaru's Kamui. Belonging to Subaru, heart, mind, and body… brought out a very pleasant sense of need.
But he needed to get this out. "I… it was even more than the battle. Things were in disarray, the earthquakes, and even floods. I could hardly tell where we were in Tokyo. Everyone was gone… It was so empty. Except…"
"Except?"
Here comes the hard part. "You appeared there as well… but as a Dragon of Earth."
Subaru couldn't fight the since nor the tight clutch his hand gave into the back of the boy's pajama top.
"It was so so different….you felt so so far away, " Kamui explains, not even knowing just what he and Subaru were at that time. His beloved hadn't swooped in to save him, well not as he had before. "And there was something you, the dream you told me that… bothered me… still does."
"Now I'm quite upset... at my dream counterpart right now," Subaru jests lightly, though not untrue.
Kamui shakes his head fondly. He can't help but beam when his lover is like this. "It wasn't something intended to be hurtful… I think it was to help me."
"Perhaps in a way, even under the circumstances…. you were the one who came back to save me," Kamui professes, coming to the realization just as he voices the words.
"What do you mean?" Subaru responds entirely curious now.
"You told me I had a true wish. I needed to find that wish if I wanted things to change," Kamui proceeds, "No matter how much I insisted bringing back the old Fuuma was my wish… he… and you were so sure, that wasn't my true wish."
"Hm," Subaru ponders over this scenario. He still can't help the guilt as the dream version of him was causing his love worry. "I feel you would be the one to know your own wish best. And searching inside yourself surely you would know that wish."
"That's what you were saying in the dream too! I had to find it!" Kamui exclaimed with a flood of emotions. "But…I couldn't think of anything that I'd wish for beyond the one I had…"
"Kamui…" Subaru calls gently. He senses the mood shifting once more. His hands begin rubbing circles upon his lover's back.
"Everything and everyone was in danger… of drying and I was the only one with the power to make it stop!" Kamui holds a hand over his head. His beautiful glossy eyes overwhelm with a deep sense of guilt and sadness.
"I couldn't reach Fuuma! I-I couldn't understand what you meant… I… ha.." Kamui takes a deep breath. The tears are already welling up, the crown head becomes peppered in kisses. Loving hands caress shapes on his back.
"The earth was so close to oblivion and I felt he-helpless to stop it… everyone felt so far… you felt so far and you looked so lost and sad… and I couldn't reach out to you I-" Kamui breaks himself off from the words. Tears come flooding down his cheeks, as the crystal waters overtake Tokyo.
"Shhh," Subaru gently hushes his quivering lover. One hand moves from Kamui's back to grasp the boy's hand. "You did nothing wrong. It was a dream but, I know you Kamui, even in dreams you would do everything you can to make things better for those around you. The people you love."
Kamui sniffles, murmuring his lover's name.
The sobbing ensues and he feels his heart aching. He's officially drained himself for the day and it was no later than 2 or 3 in the morning.
"Th-Tha- '' Kamui's sobs catch up to him in mode. Tears raced down his cheeks at the overwhelming feeling. But this wasn't the dream. He finds himself realizing it the more he holds to and is held sweetly by his patient boyfriend.
"It's okay Kamui… take all the time you need," Subaru ensures, endearingly. There's so much compassion as he pulls the covers up over Kamui's shaking form. He surrounds his sweetheart with the most effective warmth.
Kamui already knows the circles and reddened nose and eyes are there. There are so many unsaid feelings left to waterfall down his cheeks.
But no matter how long he 'ugly' cried, sobbed, and let out pained noses, he had this reassurance. His lover would be right here beside him for all of it.
That's what gets him through this and what drives him to finally calm and breathe. His tears and eyelids are kissed away. Kamui, tired, falls back asleep.
Subaru whispers an assurance. "If there is another wish you feel the need to know. I'm sure you'll find it." He kisses the boy's temples and tear-stained cheeks. "You're simply that incredible." I hope if there was another wish…it would be something focusing on yourself and your own happiness.
Perhaps, if there were a truer wish it would be for Kamui to be truly happy. More selfishly, For them to have that happiness work for one another.
Cherry Tree
A cool breeze passes through the enchanting area, blowing the edges of a long white coat. Subaru was tired, being both chosen as both the Sumeragi heir and inheriting the power of the Sakurazukamori.
This type of work came with its own emotional strains. The latest case after a recent house fire. Unknown who started it but it was believed to be an occupied house. It turned into a tale of a scorned lover, overcome with a sense of rage. In the end, she found the betrayal of her most cherished person to be a means. Of course, there was tension and regret in the mix.
Overall, it was hard to find a type of case Subaru hadn't seen before, or one without a similar story.
'I'm glad you were at your school today…' He reflects upon his lover.
Considering how his beloved's mother passed, right before his eyes, It was a relief Kamui didn't have to deal with this one. He couldn't protect him, as he wished from any harm and sorrows in the world. But he would do anything and everything to keep Kamui from becoming unhappy.
'I can't shake the feeling I sensed a spirit...and the eyes a Magami?'
It seemed rather benevolent, but it didn't mean it would be the case for others. There was still so little known about his lover's family, so much hidden in the shadows. Their duty to become a shadow sacrifice...one that Kamui thankfully was able to avoid being the true Kamui. It seems still, at least one of the 'Kamuis' would pay a heavy price. For the life brought back into their world.
'I know I've been overprotective,' Subaru regards himself and his nature. 'I will always protect you. That's something I could never give up on.' He would work on loosening up a bit with the idea. Of course, Kamui was incredible and his power was beyond all logic and reason. It didn't take away the subconscious drive, 'I can't...not protect you,' That wasn't even an option...at the least... 'I want to protect Kamui's heart, to save his beautiful smiles.'
This drive to protect any who might cause harm was overwhelming. Though one could say the same about Kamui, overexerting himself at the sight of his injured lover.
The main problem...was this craving... He was here again. Standing before an all too haunting Sakura tree. Despite them nearing winter, the elegant pink cherry blossoms were in full bloom. Truly it is incredibly beautiful, a dangerous kind of beautiful. Fatal even.
"It will never be enough..." Subaru murmurs to himself, as he presses the palm of his hand to the trunk of the vast tree. 'Whatever I do for you will never be enough to equal all you've done for me…' His lips hush out a cold, tiring breath of air. "Even here you've saved me,' Subaru professes this in a truthful whisper.
A small, half-smile, one seeping with bittersweet emotion turns up. Subaru closed his eyes, concentrating on the very tree, it felt lighter. Not by physical weight but...the troubled and lost souls sacrificed without mercy...so many lingered here...so many suffered. No more innocent lives would have to be taken.
Subaru shifted slightly, hands slipping into the pockets of his long coat. He breathes in the fragrant air, its scent so much purer than before. All too haunting memories would resurface again and again.
'Perhaps, I can't fully unbind myself from this curse,' Subaru thinks, unsure if it's something that couldn't or wouldn't be done. Although, no longer being made to kill for the Cherry Tree was an immeasurable burden lifted.
"My heart is solely yours" Subaru vows, letting a gentle breeze. "Kamui." That was a certainty but it didn't change the fact he would always love Seishirou and Hokuto- albeit the former no longer being the person just for him.
"Lately..." Subaru speaks amongst the gentle breeze. 'I've found myself drawn to using this power...' Subaru reflects with guilt. 'If it were to protect you, I would do anything...' The thought of possibly restless spirits or those in power seeking the final Magami was maddening. He could feel his blood boil just thinking of anyone living or in spirit form attempting to harm a hair on Kamui's head.
'But with that feeling...' Subaru reflects, staring off into the distance. His eyes focused on a vague sense of pink in front of him. 'I have this urge to use that power-...'' It only intensified as his mind pondered the possibility of the still restless Magamis who could cause harm.
'But I never want to rely on that...I never want to rely on him.' Seishirou….
The pain and despair were overwhelming as it is. 'Only my own power..' Hopefully, he would continue to keep this balance, refrain from using such a power...unless as a last resort.
Planning
'Alright, I'm doing this,' Kamui encouraged himself, with a new sense of determination. His cheeks fluster and his legs and hands go a little shaky. Looking up above, it displays the modest sign in front of a general store.
It was a store Kamui had been to enough. There weren't a lot of people here which made it the perfect chance. He grabbed a basket by the entrance of the door and made a Beeline for a certain section of the small store.
'Sexual Wellness' was written on a small card above a few shelves of said items. Kamui's face bloomed so wildly red, so quickly too that he found himself light-headed. There was the blood rushing up to color every millimeter of his expression. Quickly, he whipped his head back to check, double and triple-check to ensure no one else was around.
'Just get this...and then I'll add on other stuff,' Kamui thinks and keeps his determination. 'We do have this but….it doesn't hurt to be extra prepared.' Make this extra prepared, as Kamui leans up on his tiptoes and grabs two medium-size bottles of lubricant. One with a strawberry and the other a lemon/lime sticker, indicating the flavor…..
They certainly had enough, Subaru ensuring they had all the essentials, but going out and buying these things himself brought out a nice heat. Kamui could feel more involved and motivated to take that last step between them...It was insanely embarrassing….but Kamui held a hand to cover his mouth, feeling a fire beneath.
'The thought of Subaru using 'what' I picked out would be….' Perhaps, a feeling of the perfect blend of happiness and embarrassment. 'Of course, using what Subaru bought for me...while thinking of me….is very nice.'
"Mn," Kamui let out a soft whimper, his heart seemed ready to race, certain to become a gold medalist at this rate. Truly, he didn't think his cheeks could be any more crimson.
"Welcome!" The store clerk happily called out to the new customers entering their store. The sudden greeting made him nearly drop the basket in his hands. He was still aisles away from other customers but...It didn't stop his feet from running ahead of him.
Quickly, he rummaged through sections, piling on bags of snacks and candies. He had an impressive collection while going to the checkout.
"Did you find everything you need?" A brunette in her twenties asked plainly. Thankfully, the worker, while nice enough, seemed bored.
Kamui just nodded and avoided eye contact. He watched as every item was scanned and bagged. And of course, finally the lubricant, two simple bottles…that he spent the entire school day dwelling on buying.
The woman working didn't even bat an eyelash. She simply scanned and bagged it as though it were any other thing he purchased, and read out the total. Kamui was relieved at the smooth transaction...but now he would have to manage to make his way home, and somehow look his lover in the eyes without blushing manically.
Heated
It was far far too hot. Even in the evening, the beautiful stars above, entering late in the fall there was a certain heat in contrast to what one would expect outside. Of course, there was a particular reason for this.
Kamui found himself falling back onto the mattress before he could so much as blink. "Su-" Possessive and hungry lips ravished over his own. Skillful and seductive hands all too easily slipped behind the back of the young man's
"I… t-thought we… we're going to wait… u-until- at-time when ahnn- when you …" Kamui voices, albeit weakly. Despite his less than convincing words, he was already completely compliant within the other's arms. It was far from being unwanted.
Gladly he lifted his arms, smiling a little dreamily as he saw his boyfriend's hands upon the skin of his back. The hands were so very warm and perfectly gentle brushing up, and caressing all along his lower back.
"Ahnn…" Kamui moans out, letting his head fall back and indulging within this moment.
"Every millimeter of you…" Subaru breathes out like in a trance. Kamui can't help but marvel at the stars in his love's eyes and how the pupils grow in excitement. The black takes over almost all of the brilliant emerald and gold. "Is perfection."
"Mnnnn…" Kamui found his responses weakened to moans, cries, and parts of his lover's name. "Su… Ba… ru…" His eyes closed feeling the swift and cooling sensation of his shirt being fully opened and lifted off of his form.
Kamui lifted his hips allowing his lover to lower the stained uniform pants of his school uniform… and reveal the even more prominent reaction within his boxers.
Subaru marvels at the sight, at the knowledge he was the one to bring his Kamui to such a state. He finds himself instantaneously grasping for his lover's slender hips. His hands become more explorative and insistent, feeling beneath the waistband of the thin cloth.
"I feel so-ahnnn-!" Kamui cries out beautifully, finding the last remaining clothing between them stripped away with such finesse.
"Mmnnn… aaaa… - w-when you mmmph! ~" Kamui couldn't help himself nor his voice from crying out wildly. He felt hands finally moving all over his body. "When you aaan~ ~kiss me like that… I…"
"Kamui," Subaru's hands were so gentle but he could feel some pressure from those fingertips. He arched his back high, feeling those fingertips play around the area most desired to be touched.
The wet lips searing and claiming Kamui completely only continued to fuel the fire. Finally, finally, finally his Subaru was touching him without restraint. It brought a shiver through his core but in the best way possible.
The way he felt his lover's hands and body press between his thighs made him entirely weak.
"Subaru!" Kamui mewled weakly, feeling both hands caressing and squeezing his inner thighs. He nearly lost his breath at the confident gleam to his lover's lips. Blatantly, he parted Kamui's legs, spreading them out and open.
Subaru's intentions were all obvious, especially when he brought those long parted legs to press against the sides of his hips.
"My Kamui~" Subaru purrs, letting those all too perfect legs wrap around him.
Kamui was certain he might lose himself just watching the way his normally, hesitant boyfriend was moving him around. That image of his boyfriend tenderly squeezing and spreading soft milky thighs, made Kamui'shead fall back against the pillows. Part of him wished to hide his face against them.
"Kamui." He feared he might come right then and there, feeling his legs lifted again much higher as though he were on display. Sweet lips began nipping all over Kamui's soft legs, leaving love marks in their wake. They kissed, licked, and lavished everywhere but where Kamui needed it most. Yet, the skin there was so soft and sensitive, it only added more fuel to the overwhelming fire.
"Subaru!" Kamui cries with a rather high-pitched scream, knowing he was way too far gone. There was no place he felt safer to do so and be this vulnerable and needy...especially right there.
There was never a moment he felt more like surrendering than right now.
"Please…" Kamui's voice dripped with neediness and desire. Letting his body be played with to his lover's heart's content. Something he had never done before… Perhaps that's what brought out the craving, to be pinned, ravished, and taken completely without a sense of his own control. That control being happily given at the start of their romantic evening.
"In-inside me…" Kamui's mouth went dry. His cheeks reddened maddeningly, as he averted his eyes. Just like a lovesick schoolboy, offering his virginity to his precious person… because it was exactly like that.
"Kamui…" The glow of absolute devotion, love, and a sense of victory shimmered in gold and emerald-toned eyes. Subaru found himself pulling back briefly.
"Subaru!" Kamui whines sharply, feeling the lack of sweet warmth around him. Subaru softly laughs hearing this.
"I'm going to care for you, my love," Subaru insists, kneeling one knee down upon the bed. A tender and skilled hand cups Kamui's right cheek. The fire burning underneath felt like an inferno. "I do need to prepare you… and get undressed myself."
There was definite amusement dancing in dual-toned eyes. They seemed to sparkle even more so.
"I-oh…" Kamui begins, flustering. He had been so lost within this moment, those details hadn't occurred. "That's right…"
Subaru beams at this display of shyness. He leans back over the bed, to steal a deep French kiss before pulling away all too soon.
There was an urgency. "Subaru…" Kamui calls out longingly. If Kamui still had the energy or feeling in his legs, he would make his way over and help his lover with those all too troublesome clothes.
The younger lover did have the strength to lean up on his elbows. He found himself licking his lips at the smooth yet swift motions of his lover undressing. The nimble fingers unbuttoning his shirt, before it was fully opened slipped off and crashed to the floor.
Kamui bit his lips and found his violet eyes swallowed up by all too heated emerald and gold.
Subaru found more confidence in his little smirk, feeling eyes obviously following him. Though when violet-blue orbs shifted a little guilty, the older man knew he had to take action.
"Please, don't look away…" Subaru again kneeled upon the bed. He gingerly pressed his fingertips around the younger man's chin. The petite face was shifted up, and their eyes locked with a burning fire.
"You can look and touch all you want. I want you to." Subaru insists with another deep, ravishing kiss, taking Kamui's breath away instantly. "I am all yours."
"I-ha…" Kamui pants, finding himself completely lighthearted at this. "I'm all yours too!"
Subaru heatedly drinks every inch of his lover. Their eyes fell into each other again, the burning desire to be one was never stronger.
The older lover slipped off their bed, insistent and more impatiently, pulling and tossing off his own strained dress pants and far too tight underwear.
The sight of the very red, prominent, and dripping erection left Kamui speechless. He bit down on his lip, feeling his private entrance clenching, craving his lover.
'That will be… inside me…' There wasn't a word to describe the intensity, desire, and excitement this brought out.
Of course, his perfect boyfriend wasn't paying attention to his own needs. His hands reached for the bedside drawer, pulling out a bottle of lubricant and uncapping it.
Finally, Subaru returns to their bed for good, never leaving until they both are fully satisfied.
"I'll be very gentle. Just tell me if this doesn't feel right," Subaru assures, caressing gentle cheeks and peppering kisses along the soft face. "Though I plan to do everything I can to make you feel good."
"I-I know…" Kamui's from his head to toes everything curls and tingles from the promise. "I know you, you won't hurt me." He breathes the words with such faith.
….
"Ahh!" Kamui cries out from his bed. His eyes flutter open. He lifts the blanket upon him and hangs his head. "Shit… a-again…"
But it… of course… was a dream. A strongly recurring dream.
Thankfully not all his dreams become nightmares or are quite as unpleasant. Some nights were particularly pleasant. Cuddling up naked underneath the sheets certainly helped to fuel such situations.
Still, the aftermath of these dreams was messy…
Kamui groaned, waking up to his own mess. Then his overworked boyfriend practically passed out beside him. They were fully clothed and very much not reenacting anything from his last few dreams.
Yet, he couldn't complain about that. They were cuddled up so close, and the hand resting on his hip, made him smile.
Truthfully, this did save him embarrassment. He pulled up the covers, seeing the obvious stain over his boxers, and very much feeling the heat that dreams always brought on. Thinking too much about it made it difficult for Kamui to look at his beloved's elegant features, even if Subaru was too asleep to notice his actions.
Hurriedly, Kamui raced to the shower, wanting to take care of the mess before his lover awoke.
Promise of Romance
Anniversaries were… foreign in terms of celebrating them.
Some couples would celebrate month by month for their first year. Subaru had memorized the days since they became a couple. He found himself enjoying spoiling and indulging in Kamui no matter the day or time.
Not that Subaru hadn't treasured and memorized each passing day since their first kiss.
Their first 'I love you…' was a memory deeply ingrained in his heart and mind... As did every little milestone.
His sister had always said there is no greater feeling than when one has their wish come true. To make that wish reality.
Wishes were… dangerous. They could bring happiness, albeit at a cost.
Subaru found his happiness now, in his beloved, to be a feeling as great as a wish turning to reality.
They had lived together for nearly a year now. And they had been a couple for a little under half of that time.
Subaru wanted to plan something special. To celebrate and appreciate his beloved. To celebrate the life they were able to live after losing so much.
They had gone out and looked at stars and occasionally sat up on the roof, talking about both nothing and everything.
This time around… he really hoped to make things extra memorable. Determined to follow the plan, he ascended the stairs.
Subaru can't help but swoon as he strolls over to where his beloved is sitting.
Loving you, Kamui has brought happiness greater than anything imagined I could feel at all. But to feel it this deeply...
The lovesick man knew he was too far gone. He clutches a hand to his chest, catching the innocent sight. Kamui flipped a page from his textbook. Well, he had attempted to do just that.
Of course, their spoiled kitten was not having it. She curled up into a little ball finding herself cozy on the adjacent page, and not liking another flipping over her head.
"Mroow~!" She complained.
"I have to read this for class, Hana," Kamui tells the young feline, but there's no real insistence. Kamui simply takes out another smaller book, allowing her time to sleep on the textbook.
"Hello," Subaru gingerly greets his lover, stepping quietly into their room.
"Hey," Kamui rolled over to his side and sat up to better see his beloved. He took one look up and down at his lover. "What's on your mind?"
"Ah-," Subaru freezes at how quickly his love caught on. He raises his left eye curiously. He counters with a curious question. "What makes you think I'm not just here to see what you were up to?"
"Because…" Kamui begins scooting towards the end of their bed. He holds a proud smile on his face, one exuding so much warmth and tenderness. Violet-blue eyes shimmered as they did for no one else. "I know you, Subaru."
While Kamui didn't know every single detail, every worry, every thought… there was confidence. They understood each other. Their hearts connected the moment they were brought into each other's lives, the small ray of light amongst all the tragedy at the time.
Subaru stood there, looking at his brilliant beloved laughing. Kamui pats the space on the bed next to him, looking up expectantly.
The older male takes the offered seat. Their eyes meet again and there is that wonderful spark. Unlike any other. A spark that leads them to caress each other and brush their lips.
"I was thinking…"
"Okay?"
"I-we have been together for some time," Subaru begins a little anxiously. He soon finds his hand clasped, and brought to rest in Kamui's lap. The connection brings a lightness of feelings. "You make me incredibly happy and we've been together now -"
"Nearly half a year," Kamui supplied, with his treasured knowledge. "I keep track," He admits, sounding a bit proud. The confident smirk in his face gives way- he knew Subaru did as well.
Subaru felt his cheeks heat a little as they blossomed a light pink. He swallows with his heart swelling. His eyes can't help but focus on Kamui's lips and how those little smirks and teasing looks, make him want to kiss his love senseless. The desire held to start turning that smug smirk into a mushy smile, giving way to how deeply Kamui fell.
"Yes. And I wanted to do something to celebrate that," Subaru supplies. Kamui absolutely beams, with lights dancing in his eyes. "I thought a surprise might be nice… but I more than anything want to make sure it's something you like."
"I want the same for you as well," Kamui murmurs sweetly. "It's not just you or me… it's a day for us… So your input is just as important."
Subaru expresses the only words close enough to describe this feeling. "I love you," These overwhelming emotions when Kamui says something that takes his heart captive.
"I love you too," Kamui returns quietly. He flushes a little, with that same entrancing pink coloring his cheeks.
"I would like for us to plan something together," Subaru returns to his earlier subject. "To make another memory with you."
"I'd like that too, " Kamui begins with a brilliant smile. His textbooks are long forgotten. With a nod to himself and more certainly Kamui ensures."We'll do just that."
Subaru's eyes brighten with a million emotions, familiar and incredibly deep. Their eyes and lips meet for another tender moment, before resting their temples together. Planning… to celebrate another treasured milestone as lovers.
~End Chapter~
Thank you for reading, part two will be up shortly. Part two will conclude with their six-month-anniversary and some very special moments between these love birds! A very romantic passionate/mature chapter is ahead~