THE DOLL
Cold cold cold everything in this stupid city was so cold. Just to help everyone visualize better: it was like iced water had replaced all my blood, I was freezing slowly and painfully... Truly, it was all fault of Fuyuki... and of that cheap imitation that burned into a crisp half of my clothing along with a portion of my arm.
Right my arm...
"Sella have to wake up quickly, and heal me..."
I groaned looking at my left arm.
Dirt, blisters pieces, of my violet shirt; all those things stiked on my limb in a disgusting mix that distorted my guts.
"At this point I might as well replace this useless thing with a piece of ice"
I sighed deeply.
Since landing in Fuyuki with my defensive familiar, chasing away the Assassin servant and beginning my journey towards the closest hospital (Yeah I had an eventful night), all I could do to distract my mind from the painful chills coming from my elbow, was focus on the cold around me and on the tiny vaporous puffs of my breath. In this way all the pain that wanted to put me on my knees just became a frosty stream of shocks across all my spine.
To be honest it sucked as well but... at least I could keep walking.
"Berserker how are your wounds"
I asked my servant.
"Rhaagg agggaaa"
"Yeah can you articulate your grunts a bit more?"
"..."
"Don't give me that stare, I just heard your wounds are.. Ehm "Cat crispy and poisonous""
I puffed my cheeks outlining how speaking with a legitimately crazy servant could be... difficult.
"GRArrga"
Berserker responded carefully putting one of his finger under his upper lip.
"Careful careful careful there is Leysritt on that arm"
"Rhgga"
"I'm watching but what am I supposed to seeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Where are your teeth!"
"Rooorha roorgha"
"The road roller that psychopath dropped on you broke all you teeth?!"
"HRG"
"Berserker...I'm sorry...all of this... all of this it wasn't supposed to happen"
I said trebling as all the anxiety and fear I had built up broke out.
Between a flash of those phoenix familiars and another of that great sword cheap imitation wielded, a gush of molten lava rose up from my guts and before I even realized I was bent on the ground letting disgusting acid pour out of my throat.
*bwaa
What was I doing why a single fight was enough to crush me so much. It wasn't the first time I found myself in a life threatening situation.
"arf * arf* that imitation was stronger than me...stronger than me, but I'm perfect I should be the last great homunculus. Why"
It wasn't the first time I had been pushed past my limits.
"Why I couldn't win"
But it was the first time I ever felt so helpless.
"Why I wasn't enough?"
It was the first time I realized that there was someone better than me. I had seen how Cheap imitation fought, I had seen how all his attacks lacked of killing intent, but most importantly I understood that he had enough power to turn me into ashes if had really wanted to.
He wasn't a Master, he was closer to a servant than anything else.
The only thought of him made my bones chill and, let's keep in mind, I lived the first 18 years of my life secluded in a castle (without double glazing) placed on a mountain!
I was ment to be the best I was the best... yes past tense apparently that throne didn't belong to me anymore... or maybe it never belonged to me in the first place.
"it's unfair..."
The second those words left my mouth tiny droplets of water started to pour out of my eyes; Tears...no I couldn't belive I was crying for something like this, I spent ten years of my life without indulging in something so pathetic and now I was crying?
"What are you doing Illiyasfiel stop acting like a brat and get back on your feet"
I told myself scratching away from my face the tears.
There was not time for feelings, only for pragmatic thinking.
Priority one treat Sella and Leysritt, then do something about for this arm and after that retire back in the castle"
"How far is the hospital Berserker?"
I asked to my halting servant.
"Rha rra"
"Good I can still reach it with my legs... but I'm scared"
"gha"
"There so way they can treat them in less than a night, if we remain in a single spot too long we'd be an easy target."
I said finally putting aside personal feelings.
I knew the hospital was the closest aid-centre from the point I landed and all my thinking energy had been directed on "helping Sella and Leysritt", but that was the reasoning of an animal that just followed his instincts I had to be more sophisticated and less impulsive.
"Berseker I have to ask you a favor"
I said ripping a hair and gesturing my servant to lower his head.
With my good arm I caressed his wounded face a few times, his skin felt hot and hard like leather.
"Please"
I transformed my hair in a sword.
"Die for me"
And then without any hesitation I pressed the glowing tip of my familiar in Berserker throat. He didn't react, not even a blink, he just lowered his head more to have the sword dig deeper and deeper in his trachea; a moment later the light pillar of the God Hand surrounded him restoring his body and strength to their peak.
Too many lives lost in a single night.
"Berserker change of plans we go to the church, the hospital will take too long to heal them"
I proclaimed climbing (with one damn arm!) on my servant shoulder, near to both Sella and Leysritt.
If I was going to take my maids till the church, avoiding any more fights I needed the fastest ride possible and right now only Berserker could be that ride.
"Grr"
Suddenly grunted him quietly.
...and there he went with the reproof.
"I know, we are going to meet at least a Master at the church, but if you buy me just a minute of time I can get inside and then no servant would threat me"
"ro?"
"Of course I can do it, now Berserker go and you two... Hang in there"
I said as the muscular servant began to run across the streets of Fuyuki.
I barely registered the sudden air direction; in the matter of a second Berserker had left behind the road I was previously walking on, the wind began to howl in my ears and my hair wip around in the void.
"This is faster than I expected"
I thought while all the flesh on my cheek started to be pulled back and I was forced to strain a smile.
The lights of the city for me looked just like tiny lines that appeared and disappeared as I blinked. My heart was pulsing wildly, but for a moment I let my ind drift away and stare up to the sky: it was like being under a rain of shooting stars.
"ahaha almost hilarious if shooting stars really granted wishes the Holy grail war, would have never existed"
I chuckled childish while passing beside an artificial lake.
Then a miracle, the cross on top of Fuyuki's church suddenly spire in front of my eyes, YES just another moment and my plan was going to succeed.
"pff I did it"
I slowly relaxed my tense back.
Sella and Leysritt were going to be fine, this night was going to be an happy ending... or at least that's what I believed until a weird light was reflected on the lake near Berserker and I.
A crimson comet fast like a lightning appeared above us. I only had the time to see a humanoid figure inside it before Berserker planted his heels in the road slowing suddenly and summoning his sword Nine Lives to protect me from was about to come.
"YOR TOOL SHUL"
From the red comet a voice that sounded old like the world itself, filled the air.
And then a colossal fire ball engulfed all the sky.
BOOOOOOOOMMMMM
With an ear ripping explosion the ball collided with Nine lives and sent Berserk flying.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
I screamed with all the breath I possessed as my servant spinned in mid air to avoid I and the maids got squashed under his weight.
CRUNCH
Berseker smashed on the asphalt while I Sella and Leysritt got propelled barely the road on the edge of the artificial lake. My head felt fuzzy warm blood was flowing on my forehead and I had no energy left to fight.
"who's attacking another servant"
I thought while the red comet slowly lied on the road.
The asphalt under it immediately began to melt and as the humanoid figure inside all that crimson light became more defined I only felt the urge to scream.
"ahahahahahhahaha you thought you'd escape from me"
It was the cheap imitation, but he had horns, claws and teeth that looked more like fangs.
"you"
I hissed trying to get up in vain.
"Yup me, I came here to end what I started"
He said with a smile of pure glee that didn't fit with the emotionless homunculus I fought before.
His presence was stronger than before, its wildness almost reminded me of Berserker and the sword he was wielding..ugh seemed forged out of the flames of a nightmare.
"RGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Roared Berserker standing up from the asphalt and beginning to charge towards Cheap Imitation.
"Get out of my way"
Said the demon-like homunculus summoning what remained of his flock of fire birds, however they looked different.
At first all those tiny phoenix had a swallow-like design, now they were bigger and looked like more like kites... something was definitely off.
"Berserker NO!"
I shouted while my opponent pointed his red and obsidian blade towards my servant.
Unfortunately Heracles ignored my order keeping to charge straight, and then it happened an ominous scarlet aura engulfed the sword of that demon: Heat waves warmed the entire area, half of the fire kites began to spin around the blade and soon after
"MAGNA YOR TOOL SHUL"
a cruel sun even bigger than before was shot against Berserker.
Before my eyes everything became fire, I could barely discern my servant crossing sword with the homunculus in that raging inferno, yet a detail immediately pierced through my mind: Berserker's left arm was gone. At that point I nearly re-started to cry, after all I didn't want anyone else I loved to suffer, but after taking a closer look I realized that even without an arm the one leading the fight was still Berserker. Up, down, right, left Nine lives kept appearing from direction to attack the demon Master who had lost his cheerful face and now kept just his teeth clanged trying to dodge all those strikes.
"... Go you're the strongest servant"
I whispered with weak smile as watched my servant out power the Cheap Imitation.
That's right even if the world fell into pieces Berserker was going to stand for me, It didn't matter if he had received that powerful powerful fire ball at blank-point range, he was still the most powerful servant in this war and nothing was going to stop him.
*twiiinnnn
After the nth exchange of blows Cheap imitation lost the grip on his sword. The end was finally here.
"That's no good"
Commented my opponent while Berserker rose his sword for the final strike.
Still before the attack could land an enormous dragon claw appeared from the ground and sliced away Berserker's remaining arm.
"Oh to be clear, That's no good was meant for you "
Grinned the demon turning his hands in other claws and then dashing forward.
*Slashhh
Crimson lines ran through my servant thigh and as soon as a stream of blood began to spray out of it I realized... another limb had been severed.
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"
I screamed trying and failing again to stand up.
my whole body felt weak terribly weak more than I ever experienced before, and that sensation of hopelessness invaded every fiber of my being.
"Ah Ah Ah ahahhahahahahah have you seen my power old-man"
Roared the Homunculus walking away from Berserker past all the flame he himself had created.
In his eyes a glinting madness was sparkling as if to cover a deep and cold sadness. I could see he was more tired than he expected from the fight with Berserker, that Imitation could barely walk and both his horns and fire birds had started to shrink.
"And now let me fight this war as I'm supposed to do"
He whispered staring at his feet. Apparently he was talking to somebody who wasn't even here.
"I'm not ready to lose, so please understand I have to win"
"...what's he talking about"
I thought while that half mad demon placed himself about ten metres from me.
"...Illyasfiel von Einzbern will you surrender your command seal?"
He asked me aiming towards my face his last five fire birds.
"...I'd rather die than surrender"
I responded grasping all the pride I had left.
If this was the end for me, I'll die paying respect to what I have always been: the last heir of the Einzbern family.
"As you desire"
Without thinking twice...that cheap imitation... no Sieg shot his fire projectiles.
A pentagon of orange light... that was really the last thing I was going to see... well it could have been worst.
With a last breath I pronounced what I suppose were going to be my last words.
"But I'd have truly liked if it haven't had ended so quickly, sorry Sella, Leysritt, Berserker, that's how far my fate let me go"
In my last I decided to close my eyes... I didn't want to see the end coming: it might sound silly at this point but I was scared and I really hoped that if I just tried to close my eyes I'd discover this was all a dream.
"yeah a dream"
I muttered peacefully and slowly closing my eyes. Unfortunately my fate had yet to decide when my story was going to finish.
*tun
In front of me a figure covered in a black coat abruptly landed, In each of his hands there were three black keys grabbed like they were claws.
"...D-d- dad?"
I whispered and trembled recognizing the coat that man was wearing.
Suddenly time seemed to have slowed down: I heard clear and distinct an emotionless voice say "Eliminate. control unit." than the dark man dashed towards the tiny phoenixes and pierced through the one that flew on the highest spot.
The second after that fire familiar had been cut down the other four drifted away randomly crashing on the artificial lake... I... I was still alive.
"Hey brat, unconscious Flat-chest, unconscious whatever-your-name-was, fancy meeting you here"
Quietly said the coated man turning his eyes towards me.
Those dead orbs... He, he.
"you're the boy kneeling on the street"
I said without thinking.
"yeah but please"
He said drawing from out of his coat a crumpled cigarette.
"Call me Hikigaya"
And saying so he lit the tobacco with his still red hot black keys before dashing to fight the other homunculus.
(a little earlier)
THE LONER III
"So we are going t-"
*Bleeehhh
"We are going to "
*Buhhaaaaaa
"we"
*Bleeeeaahhhhhh
"Have you done?"
Asked Emiya standing on the entrance of the bathroom while I was getting to know the toilette better.
Geez! The dude had no respect, couldn't he see my situation.
"Yeah, I'm done"
I said cleaning on my bare arm the slimy remains of my dinner I had on my face.
"Finally, Hikigaya, Tohasaka and I are going ou-"
Suddenly my guts twisted again and the urge to puke invaded my body.
*buhaaaaaa
"Com'on you said you had done"
"Ugh shut up it's your fault if I'm in this situation"
I groaned struggling to get up from the floor. Abusing psycho active substances to speed up my brain and then consume pure alcohol to slow it down... Hadn't been the greatest of my ideas but, well it was still better than having my brain collapse after the excessive amount of information it had to process.
the magical adventure of brain-kun
p is 3,1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951
Exactly.
To be fair I was already lucky my regenerative powers could handle multiple lethal doses of that drug:"Mind Blow".
"Every action must be paid, but at least this idiot is still alive, and I'm whatever I've always been"
I thought reaching my landlord.
God I could barely walk and what was going on with the floor? It kept changing inclination.
"Careful"
Sudeenly grabbed me Emiya while my footing failed to sustain me.
"eh ehe the gravity is so bizarre here"
I commented as Emiya started to put his hands in weird places.
The hypothesis were two: he decided I needed a human cane or the lack of death in my eyes had finally revealed my awesome features at the world.
the magical adventure of high-brain-kun
The two.
I knew it!
"oi oi oi where are you putting those hands? I'm not into guys!"
I immediately panicked under the unwanted physical contact.
Unfortunately I was still too drunk to project Emiya out of the window with a throw, so I just started to choke him with my arm.
"help, help he wants my purity"
I shouted while the auburn guy's face started to turn of a bluish color.
Faint Emiya! FAINT!
"Hikig-ah-y-ah"
...Uh why wasn't he already unconscious? Just how weak was I?
Slowly I began to realized how all my action lacked power and energy: I mean really at this point Emiya should have been drolling on the floor but instead.
*thun
He managed to sink is elbow on my kidneys.
"Ouch"
I painful shoks ran on my spine.
Before I knew it I lost my grip on Emiya and after Iknew that a hook landed on my face.
"Dammit! I should dodge those things with my eyes closed"
I thought slamming against the wall.
"Hikigaya calm the fuck down"
Intimated me Emiya massaging his throat.
"Okay I might have gone a bit overboard here"
I slowly pushed myself away from the wall.
"Okay I'm calm, I'm totally calm, just no more assaults to my purity"
"Assaults to your what? It's disgusting"
"Hey how mean, I'm cool you know"
"Oh please, you're barely passable"
"Asshole"
"Creep"
"Filthy Riajuu"
"Guys"
Said a sudden voice disturbing our "friendly" conversation.
"What!"
"What!"
Roared Emiya and I turning around just to see... Saber?
Good lord what was she wearing? A yellow rain coat?
"oh Saber, sorry what do you need?"
Asked Emiya completely by that atrocity his servant was wearing.
"Rin wanted to know how long she still had to wait before our departure"
"Departure wich departure"
I asked feeling like that one child that wants to play together with the other kids, but doesn't know the rules of their game and is left alone...
(why did I always open old wounds?)
"I was trying to tell you, Rin and I are going to Fuyuki's church so I can learn more about this situation"
Said Emiya hinting a smile and scratching his back...
In a second I felt at least four blood vessels break inside my head. I swear the only thing missing was a glowing sign with "trap" written on. How could Emiya trust someone so readily... Did he need me to point out Rin Tohsaka was a participants of a murder death kill tournament that implied her killing him on the right occasion?
"You're going AT THIS HOUR to new Fuyuki?"
I rose an eyebrow while the anger slightly helped me to sober up.
"Yeah, better now than later"
"You have to beat the iron when it's hot"
Responded the Master servant duo confirming my worst fear.
They were a couple of IDIOTSSSSSS!
"I'm sorry but shouldn't be better visit the church during the day... you know there that rule, the one that says no fight when the sun is up in the sky... that rule that prevent any major trouble when the city is more lively so that you can't be ambushed by let's say an Archer while returning at home?"
I started to do wide gesture to emphasize my logic.
"oh I see Shiro, Hachiman is worried about your safety since Rin might try to back-stab us, don't worry he is in my capable hands"
Said Saber solemn beating her fist on her armor.
Oh dear God the situation was worst than expected.
"She is...a muscle head!"
I whispered in horror.
Now it has to be said I knew close to nothing about Saber, in my personal agenda she was blonde knight girl, with a magic sword and a pretty face. I expected her to be some kind of valkyrie: a goddess of battle or some other shit, but even though her aura totally outmatched both Lancer and Rider, I wasn't too sure she could handle both Archer and Emiya at the same time.
"Ehm let me get this straight. You think you can protect this guy, who already nearly died once today"
"actually twice"
Emiya rudely cut me mid-sentence.
"THANKS EMIYA! Actually two times today from a long ranged opponent and a Master that could beat the living crap out From Emiya with just a spoon?"
"Yes"
Responded the knight girl with a confidence so pure I found myself at loss.
She truly believed in her power and in her resolve...Now I seriously wanted to know who was this one.
"Hikigaya I know it sounds reckless, but I have to know"
Said Emiya with eyes hardened by his resolve.
I couldn't stop him uh? Well thinking about it maybe it was more reckless let this Emiya-idiot in the dark of the events surrounding him any longer.
I acknowledged he put thoughts in his decision and I decided to respect that.
"Okay I understan-"
"Besides I trust Tohsaka"
And there goes my respect.
"Sorry? You trust that girl, when you know precisely that she can back-stab you any moment to ensure her personal gain? I mean sure she's still enough human for a Magus, but isn't trusting her like this a bit incautious?"
"Nope. I know I can trust her, she won't kill me, she doesn't have enough reasons"
"Earth to Emiya, Earth to Emiya, mystical cup that can grant any wish, doesn't ring any bells"
"Hikigaya stop! I make my decisions and you can't contest them"
Snapped Emiya in one of his rare flash of anger.
"Fine"
I shrugged and scoffed, there was no winning in this battle.
"Then good night, see you tomorrow"
Sighed deeply my landlord before turning his heels and moving towards his servant.
Now he had really done it, he had just decided it was time to dig his own grave, and you know what it wasn't my problem yes sir, everybody do their choices and its their responsibility only dealing with the aftermath.
I truly believed that, but for some odd, stupid, retarded reason my body acted on its own and I found myself grabbing Emiya's arm.
His golden eyes immediately pointed at me and he was ready to tug himself out of my grip, yet against any sense of survival.
"I'm coming with you"
Pronounced six idiotic words.
A few seconds later my heartfelt declaration of common idiocity to Emiya I found myself stumbling back in the room where Lancer had nearly killed me.
Just what was wrong with my brain?! For the nth time Why? WHY my masochistic instincts and my incredible propensity to avoid sleeping always had the best of me? WHAHAHAHAHAYYYYYY!. Really I was so stupid, stupid , stupid, stupid. Leaving alone my sweet futon at this hour uhg! Lancer must have killed my last good neurons.
But hey the neurons to listen to bullshit, the blue dick left them unharmed.
You don't believe me?
"What the hell is supposed to mean "I'm coming with you""
"That I'm coming with ya, Emiya, I thought the message was pretty straight: like people die when they are killed... Ah there are my socks"
I responded wearing my footwear without noticing I had put it on the wrong side.
"uh? I remembered the pattern differently"
"Ehm Hikigaya to turn over the socks...No not in that sense, just give them to me"
Said Emiya snatching the socks from my hand.
I'd like to say I didn't need his help, but I would have probably spent all the night on those things. So having Emiya act like my mom definitely saved me from hours of pointless work.
"There you go, now you can wear them...NO Wait! you can't wear them and you can't come with us. You're still drunk end of the discussion"
Proclaimed the auburn boy treating me like I was Fujimura.
But if speeches like that were enough to stop me I would have never survived Yukinoshita... or Ayanokouji. Who does he think he is telling me not to create speculative bubbles.
" Re-start of the discussion ,I'm coming because 1 I'm still better than you even in this state, 2 if another servant come knocking at your door when I'm alone who will I offer as sacrifical lamb? 3 if Tohsaka asks other questions I can't have you to screw up my secret"
I pointed my index at Emiya strafing him with facts and logic.
With all the offense possible for my Riajuu acquaitance: He was bad at lying. And I had already enough shit to deal with without Tohsaka actively trying to kill me.
But of course karma hated me so...
"Which secret?"
Asked Saber making her way in my room...and she was still wearing the yellow thing, God I felt bad just looking at her.
Suddenly I found myself facing a difficult choice: was more dangerous letting know an heroic spirit I could be a threat, or lying about being a threat and risking this decision backfiring?
Given that Emiya already knew my secret the safest choice was saying the truth with a bit of editing, besides inhibited like I was I'd probably have several problems lying effectively.
"The secret..."
I began steeling myself
*thun
AH! a step in the allway, fourth presence approaching!
"is that I think Tohsaka's thighs are fat"
I spitted realizing that the tiny ring I felt in my since I tried to save my purity from Emiya, hadn't been triggered only by Saber.
Actually I just percepted Saber's massive energy, all the background noises must have been Tohsaka.
"Well I usually don't like insulting people behind their back, bbbbuuuuuuuuuutttttt I'm going to enjoy this."
I thought planning my tiny revenge on the twin tailed magus.
"Plus she wear those high socks, what does she think? That those things outline her legs? Please at best the socks make her legs look like sausages hanging in the "last day before expiration" offer compartment of a komibini store. Then her hair, I mean twin tails is she 8 or what? And don't make me start with her red coat [...]"
Like an unstoppable river mean words kept coming out of my mouth and all the stress I had built up today was just fueling my creativity, at one point I even forgot to keep controlling if Tohsaka was still hidden.
But apparently she hadn't moved an inch...no wait: sighs, suppressed inspirations ah! She was crying.
God now I felt bad... but seriously that girl's sneaking skills could use some work when she tailed Saber I could have confused her with a rhino. Still what's was more confusing here was that I was the only one who noticed Tohsaka in the first place; leaving Emiya aside, shouldn't Saber have been able to detect Tohsaka? Or that rain coat was so ugly it blocked sounds... Nope that thing could barely block rain, probably she just trusted that magus more than me.
"Okay Hikigaya stop with the insults, we all know you're still drunk, actually too drunk to leave the house"
Emiya sighed deeply massaging his nose bridge after five good minutes of my uncontrolled ranting.
"That's true back in my day people could get hanged for speaking like that of a lady"
Gasped Saber probably surprised by all the synonyms for "ugly" I came out with.
Then something unexpected happened Shiro Emiya nodded at me...he had understood what I was doing.
"Listen Hikigaya, I know you don't trust me"
Began the red haired boy placing his hand on my shoulder.
Corrective interruption.
"I trust your inability to be trustful"
Now he could go on.
"But if you really want to come with us you have to answer one question..."
His hand started to sink in my shoulder...ouch, ouch OuCH OUCH OUCH Damn, what did he want to do carve his nails inside my flesh?
"What. Is. Wrong. With. You?"
"Ara?"
I said caught a bit off guard by this reaction more active-than-passive-aggression.
"Which man doesn't appreciate full-bodied thighs and cute twin tails?"
"...wait wha-"
"Answer me! which man?"
Grunted my land-lord pushing his face dangerously close to mine.
"One that's making up stuff to crush a Tohsaka's pride, do you think I'm retarded? I know she's hot"
I whispered moving my eye balls in an indicative direction.
"But sausages? Man that's too much I heard her crying"
Responded him before giving an ok signal to Saber who was ready to jump between us.
"Her fault for having an earthquake under each foot"
"Still, have some tact"
"Oh I'm sorry does my face look like I give a shit about her feelings? If you want do the valiant knight and defend your crush"
"Wah you know?"
"I'm insulted you think I did not ugh...for now focus on playing along with me...HOW DARE YOU FILTHY RIAJUU TO DEFY MY TASTES IN GIRLS, JUST BECAUSE YOUR POPULAR IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN CRITICIZE MY OPINIONS!"
And so I started to shout to send Tohsaka a clear message " We're talking about bullshit don't waste time here"
"BUT IT WAS FINE FOR YOU CALL ME UNCULTURED SWINE WHEN I SAID "SO JOJO IS A YAOI?""
"OH NOW YOU GOT MY BAD SIDE EMIYA PAY HEED TO MY WORDS... Tohsaka's gone we can end this"
I dropped the act and pushed Emiya away from me. Thankfully his trashy Harem protagonist skill activated and he fell directly in Saber's arms.
Lucky bastard.
"Oh finally my throat was sore from all the shouting. Saber the so called secret is that it was Hikigaya who kept busy Lancer until you were summoned"
Said Emiya letting out a world class new with the same emphasis he use to read the back of the cereal box.
Widened eyes, breath dying in her throat and almost dropping Emiya on the floor, were the most glaring reaction of the servant who needed a few seconds to elaborate the information.
"How's that possible?"
Asked her impaling my face with her emerald stare.
I could feel some weird energy in her voice and before I knew it I was forced answer her honestly.
"With pain magecraft and a bunch of reinforcement amulets... "
Now that was terribly scary. I knew spirits possessed some sort of psychological presence able to influence other people but this... this energy was unmatched. Saber was a potential threat I couldn't underestimate.
"mh now that's some pretty trick Saber. What is it Charisma? Yup definitely Charisma were you a queen, general? "
I said trying to force on the defensive the sword lady, but I quickly realized it was useless.
This Master Servant duo was the only one I could trust not to backstab me. Emiya was a good guy, and Saber didn't seem the type of person who would go with underhand maneuvers.
I'd never opened with somebody so easily but... for some odd reason I believed it was for the best.
"In for a penny, in for a pound. Saber, Emiya my power allow me to convert injuries in power and mess with my opponents' mind, Lancer was powerful but his identity was easy to figure out and from it any potential mental weakness"
I explained giving an extremely shrieked version of my fight with Cu Chullain.
That whole battle had been a terrible challenge in which I tried to survive, let Emiya escape and extract painful memories from Lancer's mind: I had to grasp his personality, understand completely his fighting style and which buttons press to bait him where I wanted and then cast a powerful spell to break his mind.
"When I managed to block him however I had already lost too much power. I had been defeated, but then Emiya summoned you Saber and I sneaked out while you two weren't looking"
I concluded my micro story leaving some holes here and there.
"By the way what gave me out Emiya"
I immediately asked to avoid extra questions.
For a moment Emiya remained silent and with his amber orbs he just looked at me before saying.
"Nothing I was bluffing. I suspected you did something since you weren't dead, so I just tossed the bracelet and hoped for a reaction... "
the magical adventures of brain-kun
"LMAO HE TRICKED YOU AHAH AHAH AHAHA AHAHA"
"by extension he tricked you too brain, do you know that"
"oh... now I wish to die"
"we both do"
Mind gamed by Emiya...BY EMIYA FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
"Oh, ah ah nice move"
I commented screaming inside.
"I know right?"
Smiled bashful that filthy Riajuu.
"Now shall we address the Saber issue?"
I asked pointing at the knight servant.
Being suddenly called in cause the girl assumed a confused face.
"What do you mean Hikigaya?"
Asked Emiya eyeing his servant.
How could this guy be so blind!
"She looks like yellow punch in the eyes"
I spelled as slowly as I could to make my landlord understand my statement.
Oddly enough Saber hearing my words became vaguely conscious of her appearance and well, she just started to grab her coat, grimace and swing her foot.
"But she seemed pretty to me"
Retorted Emiya rising an eyebrow.
Duh...
"Thanks for the news genius. Look at her face she's always pretty"
I ranted pointing out the most obvious think in this room.
As if he was forced to, the auburn haired teenager moved his face towards Saber.
*sssttttaaaarrrreeeee
"Fair"
I bet he just pictured her in different outfits.
"Don't you have any change of clothing?, something Fujimura sensei left here?"
I asked offering a peaceful replacement to that abomination.
"I don't know, if there is something is in this room, where there's Kiritsugu's wardrobe, let's see if we can find something for her"
Said the guy scratching his chin as Saber sigh in relief... maybe she was more conscious of her appearance than I expected.
"Good, now please Saber change clothes that rain coat is physically hurting me."
"Okay let's see what we got here"
Said Emiya throwing all his torso inside the old wardrobe of my room.
The same wardrobe I never opened because I was too scared of summoning a demon of some sort, or finding some mummified devil hand that would grant my wishes but steal my soul (Monogatari reference)
"We have a lion pajama, Kendo uniform, old school uniform, and that mimetic jacked Fuji-nee never wore because it was too tight around her chest"
Muttered my land lord tossing around various clothes.
"That's quite the variety"
Commented Saber captivated by the lion pajama.
"Indeed"
I agreed trying to picture Saber in Fujimura-sensei's old school uniform.
"Tiny frame, big eyes, ahoge...sword girl is excellent imotou material"
I mumbled holding in one hand the school uniform and sending quick stares at Saber.
She definitely could reach the third place in Imotou list: right under the first place Komachi, and the second place occupied by Ashua Chigusa and Shiro She-doesn't-have-a-surname.
As sad as it sounds Saber gave me more little sister vibes than Megumi Tadokoro and Winry Rockbell. Not because they weren't cute enough or other things, but Megumi let out more motherly waves and if I ever dared to pat on Winry's head she'd make sure I would need one of those prosthetic arm she builds.
Besides those girls were my favourite drinking buddies, they held up alcohol good enough to have a long evening, but not so good to put up an all nighter like Ayanokouji Kyotaka and Levi Akerman... with those guys I have had the greatest hangover of my life.
I couldn't still believe I nearly got banned from Jamaica.
But I'm digressing. Saber of course smaterialized her armor and chose the mimetic jacket, yet immediately after that Emiya threw to me an old black coat that smelled vaguely of tobacco.
"Uh Emiya, I belive this is a male model"
I commented studying a few bullet holes that had been sewed on the coat.
"That's for you Hikigaya, your jacket is a bloody mess and unless you want to attract attention on you or get pneumonia I suggest to wear this"
Said the auburn boy coming our from the wardrobe a bit dirty.
"uh well thanks..."
I mumbled uncertain...people usually weren't very nice to e so these acts of courtesy made me feel kind of uneasy.
"Don't mind it"
Emiya brushed off my concerns.
"Now put on a shirt or something and get out we're already late"
He told me leaving my room as I realized I had been shirtless since dinner.
By the time of a sneeze also Saber was out of the way and I... just felt terribly stupid.
"Figures..that's why I was cold."
I thought smacking my forehead with the palm.
Unfortunately my sudden movement made fall from the old coat an crumpled package of old cigarettes. Well that explained where the tobacco smell came from.
"I guess Emiya's old man was a pretty heavy smoker"
I said noticing that the cardboard of the opening was pretty still in a good condition even after years of enclosure in a wardrobe, but inside the package there were only a cigarette and a tiny picture.
He smoked at least six in as ingle sit every time.
"I wonder why there aren't any photos of this guy hanging around"
I thought reaching for the picture rolled inside the package.
With a quick movement I revealed a very tiny family portrait, there were three people: A baby, a gorgeous homunculus woman and...the magus killer.
Who was wearing this very same coat.
"oh... Didn't see this one coming"
All suited up and equipped with two hidden guns I reached the entrance were Tohsaka, her Archer, Saber and Emiya were waiting for me, I'd be lying if I said I was ready to leave, after all I nearly fell after every step, but what did I want to do back off now?
Ah I might actuall-NO no no I couldn't, I had to go along with these guys or I risked to miss some serious plot developement progresses.
"Okay I'm here sorry for the waiting"
I said in monotone trying to hide how messed up I still was.
"Took you long enough jerk"
Greeted me Tohsaka with high pitched voice.
"yeah yeah, not sorry, I still have to understand why you couldn't wait until tomorrow"
I simply brushed off that Magus words with nonchalance obtaining a pretty neat murder glare.
I had truly pissed of this girl uh, but I didn't think I should have worried about that fact, in fact Tohsaka's servant, Archer had immediately restrained her arms before she couls attempt to get physical.
"...Archer right? Hikigaya Hachiman pleased to make your acquaintance"
I said extending my hand towards the tanned servant.
"Uh? Yeah same here"
Responded the muscular guy took by surprise by this corporate slave approach of mine.
We shaked our hands, yet something tickled me off... I had already met this guy...or at least one of his brothers in arms.
"Tanned skin, silver hair, deadly aura of someone who sees death like his own reflection, he got all the features of a Counter Guardian"
I thought as my group left Emiya's house.
The night was chilly and the roads were all desert, the only noises I could hear were some cars far away, a stray cat or two jumping around dumpsters and Tohsaka's foot stomping on the ground like she hated it.
*Thun Thun Thun
"Jesus she's too damn noisy"
I thought suppressing all my urges to shot in her legs.
First because I thought it would have been excessively violent from my part, and secondly because Archer would have killed me.
For roughly twenty minutes the five of us kept walking quietly. I spent most of the time silent over hearing some conversation among Saber and Emiya, the two of them were bonding I guess. My landlord had started to speak making some innocent remarks about Fuyuki, places were to eat, parks, bus lines basically the same things you would say to a relative that is going to come living with you for a while, Saber on the other hand had been quite passive at first, just nodding or responding to Emiya's elaborate indications with monosyllables, but then she gradually began to ask questions on her own pointing at anything that piqued her interest (restaurants mostly).
I wasn't sure how old the sword girl's mind was, but to me she looked like a kid that had tried to grow up to fast; She acted and moved like a hard leader steeled through discipline and battles, yet in her eyes there was still a spark of wonder a childish light that painted everything around her of brighter colors.
"I wonder were I have seen this scene before"
I muttered with a thin smile.
Emiya and Saber reminded me of a young Hikigaya Hachiman and a little younger Kyotaka Ayanokouji walking around Chiba before their first so called mission. Knowing we were risking to lose so much very soon made us decide to try everything the city had to offer, we watched a Pockemon movie, had Takoyaki, Ramen and many other things. Then Kasumi appeared out of nowhere with his rifle started to shoot at us and we barely made it alive, buuuuuuutttttt that's another story.
Uninhibited as I was, I let that sweet nostalgia get the best of me and spout some corny no-sense.
"Tomorrow I'd really like to try that cafe you work at Emiya"
"Right Copenhagen re-open tomorrow, I don't have a shift, but I guess some going out to eat a Sigmund-special cake isn't a bad idea"
Agreed the red haired boy mentioning a weird named cake.
"Okay...if it's special the taste can be bad right?"
"Shirou what's this cake you're speaking about?"
Asked Saber with genuine curiosity that broke through her cool front.
"A five layer cake with 6 different chocolates in it, it's amazing the old Nijito himself came out with recipe"
Responded Emiya.
For me time suddenly stopped... Nijito... No there had to be a mistake, it wasn't him, he was dead, he died a long time ago.
"It's just a name"
I told myself while the taste of blood suddenly invaded my mouth.
Ah Perfect just perfect! The rebound effect of my pain magic was coming a minute and random wounds will start opening and closing, maybe all the alcohol I had in my body would make more bearable what was coming.
"Tohsaka by the way want to come with us tomorrow, my treat?"
Said my landlord in a pretty smooth way.
If it wasn't for his hand shaking behind my back I'd have truly believed he asked his crush out without a hint of shame.
"E-e-emiya-kun!"
Blushed madly the girl realizing that the guy who definitely appreciated her thighs asked her out.
(By the way Emiya kept checking them every...3,4,5 yes five seconds.)
I didn't understand why she would make that big of a blushing deal, he offered a snack, he wasn't confessing or something.
Luckily Tohsaka had a functioning brain and my same reasonament went through her head.
"I thank you for your offer, but keep your focus on the current matters, you can talk about cakes... or anything that assaults my glycemia, later."
"..o, okay"
Muttered Emiya.
"Oh no the Riajuu got shot down... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA"
I grimaced putting a hand in front of my face to hide my grin.
Oddly enough I found myself near walking beside Archer who was in my same pose. How dared he, I was allowed to laugh at Emiya thanks to my loner status he was awesome tall and muscular, he didn't have any right to have fun from others failure.
"what's so funny Archer"
I asked with my best Yakuza voice.
"Nothing, awkward kids always make me smile"
Responded him casual.
Dammit he answered honestly... how I couldn't sass him.
"And you what are laughing about"
He asked trying to initiate the first true conversation we ever had.
"Watching Emiya is like staring at the nice little brother I never had, it makes me realize how many times I would have kicked him for being so naive"
"Oh is that so?"
"Yeah if I actually cared enough about Emiya, I'd truly try to harden him. He is kind, but the world isn't and as far as I can see one day he will mess up his life very badly trying to help someone"
I puffed stretching a bit.
For some reason Archer didn't say anything else after my words, he just stared at me then at Emiya and once again at me.
"Hardening, no even just working on something that's already broken in pieces is useless, you know"
"Only if want to have those pieces in their original shape. Something it's called broken when it can fulfill its role anymore. If they are used for another purpose who can tell what those pieces can become, Archer"
I said while random wounds had finally started to open. Fucking Dual Origin rebound effect.
My mind immediately became fuzzy while my legs too weak to hold my weight.
"Where am I?
In a road.
Yeah a road.
God my leg hurts so much.
Fucking Lancer.
What am I doing?
Focusing on putting a feet after another.
Right.
Avoid to faint.
What I want to sleep, if I faint I faint.
Wait until I got to the church.
I'm tired.
Keep moving.
Towards what?
The church.
Ah Sure maybe there I'd get some treatment for my wounds.
Or a coffee.
I'd really kill for a coffee right now.
Or perform unspeakable deeds for a can of MAX.
"Uh Tohsaka it's not like you have a can of coffee lying around do you?"
I asked as my body started itching and my vision to blur.
"No why would I have a thing like that with me, but more importantly why would I give it to you?"
Asked the tsundere just a moment before Emiya turned towards me.
"Oh God not again with his abstinence"
Dashed the boy spreading his arms.
"Because I'm a little tireee-"
And then the nothingness embraced me.
When I woke up, I was being carried by someone.
(Moving towards the church)
Not walking: what a wonderful thing, I mean really why I move my feet along with those peasants, Emiya and Tohasaka, while I could use as means of locomotion the back of Archer, or at least this guy here should be Archer... I didn't know between the effect of the drug I used, the rebound of my magic and the alcohol my senses were tuned to negative one.
Really I only saw a oscillating stain colored of brown and red in front of me... wait a minute this wasn't Archer...with this posture ah he was Emiya... when did I jumped on Emiya's back? No more important when did he get tanned? No even more important why there was also a not tanned Emiya? No even more ultra importantly I was bored.
"hey have we arrived?"
I asked leaning out of the shoulders of my biped mule.
"No Hikigaya"
Responded Emiya, the lighter one, without even looking at me...how rude.
"Now?"
"No"
"Now?"
"No"
"Now?"
"Yes"
"Really?"
"No"
Debated Emiya and I.
Until Tohsaka butted in like the pain in the ass she was.
"Oh shut up you two, Hikigaya you are prohibited to talk until you sober up"
"NO fuck you"
I immediately retorted giving my middle finger to that damn tsundere who dragged me out of home at this hour.
After my response the girl remained silent, probably she didn't expect me answering back... or more likely the fact that Saber blocked her after she tried to jump on me with her fists reinforced with magic...both valid options.
I was still bored though and so I decided to delight myself with the noble art of singing.
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
"What is he doing Shiro?"
"Don't know"
"No seriously Emiya-kun why he is SSSSSSing"
"Truly I have no idea"
"Somebody once told me the world... the world Chocolate Emiya is your turn"
I began to sing trying to involve al the crew.
My mule immediately stiffed
"What did you call me?"
"Chocolate Emiya"
"Why?" "
"Because I mistook you for Archer before looking at your posture and realizing you were tanned Emiya"
"...You don't make sense I am Archer"
"That's what a chocolate Emiya would say"
"Don't call me that"
"then sing"
"no"
"Buu chocolate Emiya lose points, go vanilla Emiya"
I said disappointed by my cocoa means of transport.
"am I supposed to be vanilla Emiya"
Asked vanilla Emiya
"Yup now sing"
"no"
"please"
"no"
"I'll tell matou your Pc's password and since you can't delete your chronology I bet it's going to be funny."
I decided it was time to use threats.
"..."
"..."
"you're bluffing"
said Vanilla Emiya with sweat drops on his forehead.
"prettyGoldenEyes98"
I rebuked like a champ ready to put his hand on a trophy.
"I hate you so much"
Complained vanilla before submitting to my authority
"ahaha"
Grinned my first prey.
"Don't laugh chocolate Emiya if you don't sing I could threw up on your back"
"You wouldn't dare"
"Bitch you have no idea what I would or wouldn't dare to do"
"... You're creepy"
"Natural talent"
I grinned as Chocolate and vanilla were now part of the crew.
"the course is: me, Chocolate, Vanilla, Tohsaka, Saber"
I proclaimed pointing at every member of my team.
But of course someone, ehe, ehm Tohsaka, had to annoy me.
"No why do I have to be dragged in this, besides Archer-"
"Chocolate Emiya"
"uh chocolate Emiya is here from a few days and for some reason knows the song but Saber just got summoned here"
She complained blushing for some odd reason.
"First Tohasaka you kept staring at the ice cream duo's asses all the way here and crept the hell out of me so I demand your voice as repayment"
"You noticed!?"
"Actually I was bluffing, BUT WAIT really?!"
"No! I'll sing I'll sing now shut up, but please spare Saber at least one of us "
She complained...uh again didn't she have a mute button?
"Tohaska there's no way Saber doesn't know the song"
I dead panned.
"Uh?"
"True the Grail granted me unlimited knowledge in regard of what you call memes, the song Hachiman want us to sing had been forced in my memory...and I'd feel excluded if I wasn't the only one who's not joining this merry song"
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
"And there he goes, I have to make disappear all the alcohol from my house"
"I can't belive this is actually happening"
"Why am I being forced to do this by a drunk classmate?"
"I haven't sung in ages"
"Some body once told me"
"the world is gonna ruin me"
"I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed"
"She was looking kind of dumb"
"with her finger and thumb"
"in the shape of an L on her forehead, all together or my threats will become real"
"Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a rock star"
"Pause pause pause Chocolate Emiya I feel sick let me go down down down"
"Are you kidding? After the disaster you have done an hour ago it's physically impossible you have other stuff in your stomac-"
*bleeeehhhhhh
"MY COAT!"
"For the one hundred and ninety seventh time, I'm sorry chocolate Emiya I didn't mean to dirt your cool coat"
I apologized from Arch- Chocolate Emiya's shoulders.
"For the one hundred and ninety eighth time, I'm sorry Chocolate Emi-"
"Stop, just stop calling me that I accept your apologize Hikigaya now for everybody's mental health shut up!"
Snapped...Not-Chocolate-Emiya.
Uh he was mad at me...how sad.
"For the one hundred and ninety ninth time, I'm sorry Not-Chocolate Emi-"
"WHY ARE YOU STILL GOING ON?!"
Screamed him.
"because your didn't really accept my apology!"
I retorted only because I was drunk, wounded and partially drugged it didn't mean I couldn't recognize a lie.
"If I kicked Vanilla Emiya would you accept it properly?"
I then whispered realizing that I could do only one thing to make peace with my means of transportation.
"...probably"
He whistled back.
"Good in this case move closer to the harem group"
I commanded reading my good leg.
With quick steps Chocolate Emi- oh wait he's Archer, Archer closed distance with Emiya, Saber and Tohsaka who were all minding their own business.
(translation Emiya was checking the signs for the church, Tohsaka was ACTUALLY looking at his butt and Saber was strangely captivated by a Burger king advertising poster)
"sudden spasm"
I said casually before digging my foot in Emiya's back.
"Hikigaya what the hell"
Groaned the teen massaging the spot I hit.
"sorry my leg sometimes moves on its O.W.N."
I responded kicking the damn Riajuu other three times.
"S-S-Stop what is wrong with you"
Muttered him pathetically trying to block my kicks.
"This guy how did he managed to survive this long?"
I asked myself in pure wonder.
But then the universe responded.
"Hachiman I believe your behavior can be quieted down a little"
"Hikigaya-kun as fun as beating Emiya-kun can be stop"
"yes ma'ams"
Yup the answer was Rin Tohsaka, the magus that could become a pretty great pain in my back, and Saber, the gutsy knight-girl that would put in shame every man in a balls competition. Seriously these tiny girls had the same intimidatory aura of a grizzly with chain-saws for hands.
the magical adventures of brain-kun
"wouldn't that be quite the sight"
"I know righ-"
"MANA SIGNATURE DETECTED SOMEONE IS SPYING ON US"
"What!"
My eyes widened as an unannouched energy touched my nerves.
My whole body stiffed, I rapidly turned my head around trying to spot someone, but it was useless my senses were still too weak. Fortunately the sudden danger ignited in me a sober spark that allowed me to think about the whole situation in an effective way.
"Archer, Saber did you feel anything?"
I asked to the most powerful beings around.
"Finally remembering my identity uh?"
Giggled the mule servant.
"yeah yeah gloat all you want, but seriously am I the only one who perceived something around us?"
I asked again to confirm my worries.
"I don't know what are you talking about I have had this whole area under my attention this whole time and didn't perceive anything unusual"
"Same goes for me"
Responded Saber and Archer.
"Hikigaya I told you it was a bad idea coming with us, you already fainted once and threw up twice"
Pointed out Emiya using a condescending tone.
I must suppress the urge to kick...or maybe not
*kick
"Ouch!"
much better.
"You probably reacted to the bounded field of the church, look it's right there"
Said Tohsaka pointing at the holy building.
Thank God we had finally arrived! Now I was closer to reach my utopic sleep. Still I knew someone was spying on me and the sole fact I was the only one to have actually reacted was pretty scary. For a moment I just closed my eyes and ignored every meaningless sensation: the chatter of Emiya and Saber, Tohsaka's footsteps, the slow pace of Archer and all the smells of the sleeping city.
Nothingness around me there was nothing, only empty whiteness and black pain. Obsidian sparks of power slowly replaced the every living thing around me; I lost the capacity of seeing streets, buildings and plants, but in exchange I obtained the power of feel all the negativity around me.
To be clear like ,pretty much all my skills, this one sucks as an ability, it's only useful to track down ghosts, wounded comrades, if I have to obtain a basic gasp of the animals and people inside a given area, I have to remain immobile all the time I'm searching around.
The criteria of the power were pretty simple: bigger the blackness equal a wider pain, purer the blackness equal a deeper pain and more shaped the blackness equal greater awareness and understanding of the pain.
For example if I studied myself with this skill I'd see a pitch black tree tall like a skyscraper.
But the guys around me didn't joke either: Archer, Saber, Emiya and Tohsaka apparently quite an emotional baggage with them. Inside all of them there was a shard of pure and cold negativity.
Judging from the size and from the intensity Tohsaka was the least messed up of the group, her pain looked like an pure obsidian hand surrounded by a grayish sun. The girl had definitely gone through pretty heavy stuff, but there was only a defined part of her pain completely pure and that she fully understand. The only problem was that I didn't understand what the hand meant at the moment: someone didn't grab her hand in a moment of need or she didn't stretched out her hand when it was the moment?... but it could also be something more literal like a physical hand lost because of her.
(Ed Elric had in fact his pain shaped like an arm and a leg.)
Then there was Archer who was the person with more pain inside among those four; all his negativity looked a sword made of pure darkness and well that was it. I mean he was a fighter, sword embody battles ergo Archer suffered from all his battles, not that much of a scoop.
When I moved on to Saber however the situation was different: the servant's pain was "inaccurate", it didn't have a fixed shape, it kept changing, first it looked like a rock, then a crown and at the end a cup. What however caught my curiosity the most wasn't Saber's vague understanding of her own pain, but a golden net that kept trapped all the darkness.
I had never seen something like that before, it looked like pure energy from the faeries a power that his the pain under the light of a...dream yes, an ever distant goal that banished away insecurities and darkness.
"well that can narrow down my suspects about Saber's identity"
I thought.
"But the real question here is why that golden thingy is bounded to Emiya"
In fact the golden net that surrounded Saber had a glowin thread that connected her soul and Emiya's one, but that wasn't the only weird thing. First Emiya's pain was still shapeless even though its intensity was pure enough to make all that negativity seem a mass of metal, for me it was odd that a person with a pain so intense inside his soul never tried to understand it... But hey I wasn't Emiya so not my problem. What was my problem however was the second light inside my land lord's pain...yeah he wasn't just bound by a golden light with Saber, he had also a second orange thread that connected him with...an ever burning blaze at the centre of Fuyuki.
"I really need to get rid of that thing"
I had known for a while now: in this city there was the remnant of the pain of a thousand people burning in a great fire, the problem was that the so called great fire of Fuyuki hadn't been natural or artificial, no that thing was the result of a dark power capable of trapping an incredible amount of souls for 10 years.
Once I was again in full possession of my strength I'd to go to absorb that hell blaze. Still I had yet to check for that presence I felt a moment ago.
"Com'on reveal yourself to me"
I thought pushing my scouting power to its limit.
Unfortunately before I could find my target a hand patted on my back.
"Uh!"
I muttered snapping out of my trance.
"Hey there sleepy jerk, get down from my servant we have arrived"
Said Tohsaka shaking my head with all her might.
Now please someone tell where is considered a good idea shaking someone that could throw up in a second WHERE!
"ehhhhh ehhhh ehhhh Emiya tactical support, tactical support"
I begged as the continuous movements were having the best of me.
"Okay Tohsaka stop before the situation gets ugly again"
Arrived in rescue Emiya stopping the twin tailed magus.
Oh God another second and Archer would have needed to materialize a new coat again.
" We are finally at the church, good, this walk had been endless"
"Hikigaya you spent half of the time asleep"
Pointed out Emiya when I jumped off from Archer.
"That means you are a terrible company, but do not worry I forgive you... only because you are not bad as a singer"
"You know, I wonder if you are just annoying or you just enjoy pissing off people"
"... should I even bother to say it's the second or the tiny hamster inside your brain can make move some gears?"
"Emiya-kun, Hikigaya-kun can you stop for a moment this... thing you have going on between the two of you and just get inside the damn church so we can all go sleeping?!"
Asked , no commanded Tohsaka leaving me and Emiya stuck with a surprised Pikachu face.
This girl had made fairly compelling remarks.
"Okay, but you two get inside first, I don't want any third party with me when I'm going to talk with the administrator of this war"
I said pushing the two teens towards the church's entry.
I couldn't dare to have Tohsaka learning more than she already knew about me. Luckily my landlord understood that and yawning a bit he said
"Fine but, avoid to get stab again while I'm not checking you"
"Yeah and you try not to do something stupid for once"
I grinned fully aware the idiot was going to make a mess.
For a moment I just remained silent as Rin gave the last indication to the two servants telling them to wait outside. It was odd how my peaceful month of holiday had become a battle royal of heroic spirits in just a day.
"Wow my luck is really rotten"
I muttered recalling how positive I felt at the beginning of this exchange project.
Yup optimism was going to kill me one day.
the magical adventures of brain-kun
"Unless the same person who's spying on us before and now do something first.
"Thanks brain you always know what to do to break down my cool"
I thought while the strange presence came to visit me again.
Both Archer and Saber didn't have any reaction so it was like I imagined, somebody wanted to talk with me.
"Hey Saber, Archer, I'm not feeling to good so I'll go in one of the alleys we surpassed before and... you know bleeeeh, in this way I should avoid any... issues inside the church"
I said moving away from the two servants and starting to walk towards the first alley I saw.
"let's see who I'm dealing with"
"So have you done stalking me?"
I asked once I reached the depths of the alley
The presence I have felt since a few minutes ago was near, closer than ever, where was he... how did I understand it was a he? I didn't know but I felt in my bones it was a male and someone that I was familiar with but who? Kyo? Levi? Ed? No his aura was similar with mine, incredibly similar with mine. And I only knew a person that could resemble me so much... it had to be him.
"Hachi Hachi Hachiman always with your guard on aren't you?"
Said a young boy with long hair and dead eyes coming out from the shadows.
Yes it was him... Fuck.
"Yo Nijito... it's been a while, I thought you had died ten years ago"
I hummed while the blood in my veins froze...
How could he be here? It was impossible.
"How outrageous. Me dying before you, if it was a joke it didn't make me laugh"
Smiled the boy letting me see his eyes: one pitch black the other milk white.
First servants and now him, christ Fuyuki was a horrible place.
"You didn't aged one day"
I commented scratching my chin pretending to be as calm as possible.
"and you reached puberty so what?"
Retorted Nijito with a deadpan.
"Nothing it's just that you can't be real... so what are you? An illusion in my mind, an astral projection, or just a ghost?"
I asked bored.
"Who knows? You know directly touching the rooth made my existence quite the mess: at the moment I could be real, fake, a projection from the past, from the future or even a servant"
He shrugged disappearing in the alley and then popping out behind me.
"You know being a servant doesn't suit you very much... you know it's not like you have any heroic quality"
I rose an eyebrow while Nijito started to pout his cheeks.
"how mean I could be a wonderful Assassin"
"You're fitter to be a Berseker actually"
"Am I? Well I guess I have always been the mad one in your eyes uh? But hey hear me out, what if I was the only sane person in this world and all the other people are actually the mad ones, and what if I have to take revenge upon this world that trashed me"
"Yeah sure Avenger-san we both know you are too petty to just blame the world for your shortcomings, you always needed more tangible targets... so stop with these games and tell me why are you here?"
I said emotionless breaking through the playful mask of the kid.
"why? Stupid question Hachi I'm here, of course, to do the thing I do the best: selling information"
Nijito sharpen his eyes moving in front of me before taking out a dossier of brown leather from nowhere.
"What you got?"
I whispered
"A nearly complete list of masters, servants, with my personal opinion of them, and records of the previous wars"
Said him dead serious.
Now that was something I could have liked
"... I want a sample"
I glared Nijito from top to bottom.
"Caster"
He threw a polaroid photo of woman dressed in a violet mantle.
"Real identity Medea of Colchis, currently located in the Ryuudou temple, the place itself is protected by a natural bounded field and now she added her dominion, for the past month she had been gathering mana and summoned a proxy servant to guard the temple. As far as I know her master has yet to appear on the battle field"
Told me Nijito conveying quite the number of sensible information.
"Sounds troublesome"
I sighed studying the servant's photograph...she was hot.
"She is troubles indeed also meticulous, ruthless and ready to do anything to reach the grail"
I had my worries confirmed.
"Weaknesses? "
"Only the one you can already imagine: close-fight proficiency par to zero and"
"Love sick"
I exhaled as the myth of Jason and the Argonauts began to roll in my brain.
"Bingo if you crush who she wants to love, you break her"
"you make it sound easy"
I grimaced
"I make it sound efficient"
He copied me.
"I see what about the masters"
I asked throwing back Caster's photo.
"Sieg a high grade homunculus, master of the Assassin servant, he is... interesting"
I received another one this time portraying a young man with red eyes.
"define interesting "
"Ohoh no that would spoil the fun... let's just say you wouldn't stand a chance if you both went all out "
"Scary... weaknesses ?"
"Physical only after he fights at 100%, Psychological a few, luckily he is open to dialogue, if I were you I'd start a partnership with him, he is by far the strongest Master"
"Even more than the Tohsaka girl behind the corner?"
"Even more than her and let's not talk about the red hair, you should leave him on his own"
"Ditch Emiya? Nope I can't, the moment I leave he is good as dead"
"Not if he resigns the war."
"Believe me he won't, he kind of has a quirk to put himself in dangerous situations"
I laughed bitterly.
"It reminds me of the two of us"
Chuckled Nijito.
"Please don't remind me. What do you know about the Assassin servant?"
I asked to circumscribe the threat represented by this Sieg.
"More than you can imagine, but I won't tell you a thing until I'm sure we have a deal "
Rebuked Nijito
"It depends what's your price... I doubt you just want money"
"No I don't, I desire something more valuable your help"
"My help..."
"Yup I need you for a project of mine"
Said the timeless child holding up his right hand.
"What do you say Hachiman, do we join hands in this war?"
"Nope"
I slapped back his hand
"Too soon to become a pawn on your chessboard"
"Mph I imagined you'd say that"
Nijito turned on his heels
"But know that the offer is always open"
"yeah, no thank you"
I began to walk away from the alley
"Hachiman... how's Amakura, no Kamakura god your naming sense is really poor?"
"Fine that powerless Nekopata just spends his time dozing around the house, he lives the life I always wanted"
" I see... Good for him, well good luck Angra Mainyu"
Send me off the boy before disappearing
"To you too Angra Mainyu"
TAN TAN TAN FINALLY I WROTE A RELEVANT PART TO SAY WHY THE HELL NIJITO WAS IN THIS STORY.
I THANK ALL OF YOU FOR READING THIS CHAPTER THAT I ENDED BEFORE THAN I EXPECTED CUZ I WANTED THIS CONVERSATION BE THE FINAL NOTE.
THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL STILL BE FROM 8MAN POV, IT WILL BE EXPLAIN HOW IN THE BLOODY HELL HE JUMPED TO PROTECT ILLYA ARMED WITH BLACK KEYS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY THE FIRST BATTLE BETWEEN PROTAGONISTS.
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED DRUNK 8MAN LET ME KNOW YOU OPINIONS AND TO THE NEXT TIME !
Omake
"Hachiman you're telling me that with this computer device Shiro gave me I can search whatever I want in an unlimited library"
"You got that right Saber, here there is the search bar, then here the favourite pages so you can reach the internet pages you use the most more quickly and now you're free to look for whatever you want. I'll be back in a hour and then I'll need the coputer for school, but in the meantime have fun"
"Thanks".
1 hour later.
"Now I open the chronology and... Top ten food stands in Fuyuki, Best Ramen restaurants, bla bla bla useless oh Bingo! Where the Fuck did Merlin go, the knights of the Round table, England after King Arthur, Excalibur... I can't believe figuring Saber out has been so easy... and this is uh? EXTRA hardcore bondage... never thought Emiya would be in that stuff"