Trust: simply the worst currency in the world.
In my whole life I have never found something so difficult to give, so hard to obtain and so easy to lose.

Have trust in someone, in something can be the most relieving thing possible, it gives people security, it undresses the future of its unknown... it just gives you a thing less to worry about, it lets you know your back is covered.

I... I have never trusted many people. I hate the idea of letting someone close enough to stab me in the back, I'm scared of bare myself to another person... I'm utterly terrified of just watching who I trust disappear from my life.

The only people I allowed myself to trust were: Komachi and the Oroboro members. Why? Because they're my family. Because I can ashamefully say I love all of them from the bottom of my heart. Because I feel the need to trust back all the support they give me or most likely... because I just understand them completely.

That's right I trusted, I trust only who I can understand.

But that's not enough, after all the world is a big place and I simply can't understand everybody... so, instead of trusting people I began to trust what's inside them: desires, loyalty, fear, pain, rage. I trusted what I could comprehend what I could anticipate.
At first

I didn't trust Yukino Yukinoshita, I trusted her brutal honesty.
I didn't trust Yui Yuigahama, I trusted her desire to bring happiness.
I didn't trust Iroha Isshiki, I trusted her selfishness.
I didn't trust Saki Kawa...saki, I trusted her love for her family.
I didn't trust Yoshiteru Zaimokuza, I trusted his passion for writing barely read able crap.
I didn't trust Shizuka Hiratsuka, I trusted her will to guide me in a precise direction.

... the fact I used the past tense for these sentences, it's probably closer to a miracle than you might imagine. For some reason those people carved in me the need to trust them, the pathetic idea of stability that will not lead them to hurt me.

And as much as I hate to admit it right now in Fuyuki I'm missing someone to trust. Right now I feel lost I have none to rely on and none that relies on me.

I'm caged by this lack of ties and for the first time in a long time I truly am alone and with none to trust.

I don't trust Sakura Matou, I trust her obsession for Emiya.
I don't trust Rin Tohaska, I trust her skills.
I don't trust Shiro Emiya, I trust...that he trusts me, his naivety, his selfish selflessness, all the parts of him that are like mines.

The need to show something to ourselves and the lack of survival instincts that makes us run in front of any danger because someone's crying.

I don't trust people because I can't understand them.
I trust my family and friends because I understand them.
I don't trust myself, I don't trust Emiya Shiro because I understand too much.

"...First servant, then Nijito, now what a group of idols that wants to save their school? I'm too damn sick of Fuyuki"
I said coming out from the dirty alley where I just had a pretty complicate conversation.

The situation was messed up. With this exchange project I fell right in the middle of a magical battle and to date I had already collected enough data to say.

FUCK

First there had been Rider, a.k.a. Medusa, I repeat freaking MEDUSA who's master is none other that SAKURA DAMN MATOU the same SAKURA DAMN MATOU that cooks breakfast at Emiya's place.
Then I met a bunch of Einzber homunculi who will have some sort of beast servant for sure.
After that I had a fight the blue dick Cu Chullain otherwise known as Lancer.
Subsequently I had dinner with the sword girl Saber and her master Emiya... fucking Emiya the only magus in this city that shouldn't be able to even summon a servant guess what got the strongest class.
Let's not forget Chocolat... Archer and her master Rin Tohsaka, the funny girl that needs just one more step to attempt to murder me.
And icing on the cake, my old friend...ehm nope that's not right? other version of me... too ominous and chuuni... WELL Nijito the person I fear the most and believed dead is in Fuyuki and GOD BLESS ALL OF US he is scheming something.

"Jesus I'm the least person that has any business with this war, but I bet I'm the one that has met already more servants, four in a day single day. And now I know this Sieg is the strongest master and caster the most organized servant"
I muttered tripping on my own feet.

"RGHHH"
I grabbed the closest street lamp before falling. Dammit dammit dammit my muscles had all tored and saw back together in a second.

My tendons were on fire and my legs...well one hurted the other...the one Lancer hit, just hanged there.

"At this point he might as well have cut it off"
I said punching my left leg just to feel... nothing at all.

Apparently my providential luck had striked again and I couldn't even try to heal myself, after the last trick I pulled off to track down Nijito I was done, all my fuel was gone. The single fact I was conscious... and drunk enough to ignore the rebound effect of my power could be count as...uh luck.

"so am I or am I not lucky?"
I thought regaining a bit of confidence in my footing.

The only problem now was...I could perceive a thing... so is someone was still tailing me.
I was Fucked.

"hey is anybody here? NO AM SERIOUS COME OUT FROM THE FUCKING ALLEY"
I shouted like the paranoid I was.

the magical adventures of brain-kun

"ah it's like when girls pass near you then they start laughing and you're worry they laugh of you"

Brain why do you hurt me?

ANYWAY my clever bluff proved itself useless since there was actually none in the alley.

"This is actually more uncomfortable than being tailed"
I thought agreeing with myself to shout "come out from the alley" every three minutes.

"Time to me the priest, one, two Chiba and if I don't faint now I won't faint ever again"
I whispered beginning to limp in the direction I came from.

I'd like to say every step was agony, but it was worse, it was like seeing Emiya being dense with Matou over and over again. Such a terrible feeling that corroded from the inside.

I was ready to give up, sit near the road and write a sign "don't wake me up until lunch", yet something unexpected happened a light in the night, a beacon of hope caught my attention.

"No way"

It was, it was an old, trashy vending machine that sent casual flashes, but not an ordinary old, trashy vending machine that sent casual flashes, it was an old, trashy vending machine that sent casual flashes with a can of MAX INSIDE and a bag of chips.

"OH YEEEESSSSSSSSSSS"

*crunch

"Yo Saber, Archer what did I miss?"
I asked walking in front of the church after my snack pause.

Max was truly a divine nectar a sip and my leg returned to work... THANKS placebo effect!

"Uh you finally came back Hikigaya"
Responded Archer with a grin after studying my limping walk.

Damn that guy had some shocking white teeth. Really he could star in a toothpaste commercial... wait what was the feeling burning in my guts jealousy? Yep definitely jealousy, Archer was for sure a damn Riajuu in life and now that I was mildly less drunk I could see clearly he was awesome.

"...he is pissing me off"
I thought as the basic spite of a loner towards a popular guy invaded my mouth.

"Yes I'm back, apparently you got functioning eyes, nice Archer."
I smiled condescending eating another chip.

*crunch

"Uh did I say something wrong?"
Tilted his head the chocolate servant.

"Yes... no... UH! Listen I'm tired, just tell me if I missed something and let's get this over"
I groaned gulping down a long sip of max to calm down my mind.

Making an enemy out of a servant was one of the few stupid things I'll never do, Like taking salsa lessons.

"ooookay. Nothing worth of notice happened, at worst two squirrels quarreling."
Shrugged Archer finally giving me a decent answer... stupid unproficient Riajuus.

"I see"
*crunch
Another chip ended up in my mouth.

"Hachiman... is it wise to introduce more food in your body after you just freed your stomach?"
Asked Saber squaring my chips bag with ravenous eyes.

Out of instinct I sheltered my food under my back and searched for the closest escape route.

the magical adventures of brain-kun

"Okay, right, left, take a taxi, jump down after a mile and take a search for a boat, then sail towards Equador"

"What if she can follow our scent"

"...we're fucked, try with a diplomatic approach"

"But brain I like my chips"

"I know but or this or we are screwed"

"S-saber want a chip"

"Oh don't mind if I help myself"
Said the sword-girl stealing from me many precious potatoes.

This bitch, I saved her from an horrible rain coat and she repayed me in this way. SHAME SABER SHAME.

"Hachiman why there is blood on this fried treats?"

"Oh that? aha you see I just had 100 yen with me and both my coffee and the chips costed more"

flashback

"MAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXX!"

*punch

"So you punched an hole in the vending machine?"

"Precisely Archer"

"you're weird"
Rose an eyebrow the tanned servant.

"And you give diabetes, what's your point chocolate Emiya?"
I retorted emptying my can of coffee.

Suddenly a vein appeared on Archer's forehead.
"Don't"

"Call me that, yeah yeah you don't like this nickname, then don't spit opinions on me and we're fine okay? Okay.
Now Saber...you have crumbs on your face."

"Really?"

"Yes, also are the two idiots still inside?"
I tossed in the closest trash bin my can.

"Shiro and Rin?"

"How many idiots do you know?"

"Depend, should I include you?"

"ah! Deserved one"

"Rin and Shirou are still both inside, but they I guess they will come out in the next few minutes"
Said the sword girl hinting a smile.

Urg she couldn't do like this, first a playful roast and then a heart-melting smile? I was going to fall for her if she kept going like this.

Give the situation I decided tactical retreat was indeed the best option.

"I see, well I guess I'm going to get in, maybe I'm still in time to listen Emiya burn all Tohsaka's hopes"
I chuckled brushing my hair, Now I just needed to get away AND

"Hikigaya"

Dammit!

"What are you saying?"
Growled Archer rising an eyebrow.

"Don't play dumb with me, you're well aware Tohsaka pushed Emiya out of his house, at this hour! To exploy the fact he is still "supposedly" traumatized. She wants him to drop out from the war"
I stated exposing the not-so-subtle master plan.

" Hachiman, Shiro isn't just supposedly traumatized, he has all the reasons to abandon this battle"
Whispered Saber fixing her emerald eyes in mine.

There was great power in her eyes, but also some bitterness. She truly believed Emiya should have just dropped out of the war, but she knew that meant she'd become the servant of the first magus who set its eyes on her.

"He risked his life. He thought you had died.. He"

"is not going to resign"
I cut down her worthless argumentation.

"I know you met Emiya...an hour ago? Maybe more... anyway once the genius realize that the grail can be used for some so called "evil" stuff I bet he'll stick to this war like a chewing gum under a shoe...Listen Emiya doesn't value his life much: if he thinks he can spend it to save even a single person... he won't think about it twice. So remember when I tell you he is not traumatized, he is not bothered by risking his own life, at best he would be worry of unconsciously dragging me in this mess, but Hey! I already have a target on my back after surviving Lancer so doesn't change too much for me."
I shrugged figuratively throwing at Saber the manual of the small suicidal Emiya.

Her pupils immediately got wider and her breathing stopped for a second.

Had I been too honest?
Didn't she expect her Master to be a self sacrifing idiot?
(A/N right back at you buddy)

I couldn't answer those questions in my current state, but seeing Saber's emerald pits darken was a slash through my heart, it was almost as I had kicked a puppy.

Oh dammit time to cheer her up.

"Hey Saber look at the bright side, you still have a Master AND not one that plans to use you as a tool! Isn't that positive! Of course is positive am I right Archer?"
I said forcing myself to act optimistic... God if it felt gross.

"The boy won't provide you any mana and you will die, or be forced to eat human souls"
Responded the tanned servant ...Christ what a dick! Couldn't he at least try to avoid crushing my cheering attempt with his realism...

"On a second thought I like this guy. He is still a dick, but one that I can respect."
I thought as acting out of my character had left me longing for some brutal realism.

People hoped their lives would turn out like fairytales and that just acting positively will improve their situations? Fools! Higher your expectations greater the disappointment!

the magical adventures of brain-kun

"But if you act only negatively, you'll be a pain in the ass for the rest of the world and if something good happens you'll only think about the bad stuff that will come later"

"BRAIN WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT ANALYZING OUR LIFE CHOICES? WE SAID BURY EVERYTHING UNDER HOURS OF ANIME AND DON'T THINK TOO HARD ABOUT THEM!"

*Sbaaam

Luckily the frontal door of the church was suddenly slammed open before I got depressed, and then an high pitched voice tore apart the air.

"Now you have done it! From tomorrow we are enemies! WHY? JUST WHY you remained in this war! You're barely considerable a magus!"

Nuuuuu I had missed Tohsaka's "I Fucked up" face.

"Tohsaka calm down, I didn't mean to anger you"
Arrived also Emiya's voice sounding at least seven times less worried than he should have been.

"You didn't mean to?!"
Shouted the twintailed Magus as the veins on her forehead were pulsing dangerously.

"Yes"
Stated my landlord keeping (God-knows-how) a straight face.

After that Tohsaka's face started to-to kind of glitch, her expression passed from: angered, to extremely angered, to I'm going to shoot your arms and legs, to I'm calm.

"Okay it's fine"
She then said leaving all the people around the church, servants included, confused and startled.

And so we all went.

"R-Really?"
"What?"
"Nani?"
"Hachiman can you give me another chip... thank you *crunch"

But of course.

"NOOOOO! IT'S NOT FINE. Now I'm going to leave AND YOU are going to stay out of my way. Otherwise the situation will become unpleasant."

"Why? It isn't already messed up enough?"
I interrupted the two teenager unleashing my best deadpan.

Upon hearing my grumpy voice both Emiya and Tohasaka snapped their neck towards me...Didn't they see me approaching them?

"How long have you been standing there?"
"How long have you been standing there?"

Yup didn't see me at all... am I really this invisible? COOL.

"an hour"
I responded eating my last chip, wait just how many Saber ate?!.

"An hour!?"
"Are you serious"
Responded the two teenager alarmed.

"I've mastered the art of standing so incredibly still I've become invisible to eye, watch"
I said raising very very very very slowly... my middle finger.

"Are you messing with me"
Asked Emiya rising an eyebrow.

"Duh, by the way Tohsaka you ain't going anywhere"
I stated piercing her skull with my stare.

For a second she paralysed under my cold glare, but then she bit her lower lip and walked straight against me.
"I can and I will Hikigaya"

Shoving her shoulder she tried to push me away; fortunately the alcoholic percentage in my blood had already lowered enough so I side stepped to avoid her body and grabbed her left wrist.
As my fingers wrapped around her pale skin she immediately tried to free herself, but no I wasn't going to let her go.

"Tohsaka, you have the Archer servant and I wouldn't trust you in a million years, so since I don't like ambushes you remain here until I say so."
I said putting more strength in my hand until I saw a tiny pained grimace on her face.

" And. May. I. Ask. Why?"
She suddenly tried to hit me with her free hand.

Attack- basic Kempo palm strike.
Direction- throat
Power-medimum
Threat- Medium/high (given physical condition)

Foe: Rin Tohsaka

Counter- Deflect Foe's right palm with left forearm. Pull Foe's already grabbed left wrist. Foe move closer to self. Negate potential kneeing on genitalia. Steal first valuable thing in Foe's pockets with left hand. Push away with low strength.
Time: 2.50 seconds.

Result- bargain material obtained.

Like breath of life, my battle instincts shocked my whole body and a deadly glance started to shine in my eyes.

0.5

My lull mind finally was returning to work; with a single serpentine movement I pushed away Tohsaka's palm.

1.0

Her facial features twisted in surprise, but then she immediately calmed down as I started to pull her closer.
Uh she had gone through some serious training react so quickly.

1.5

As expected she rapidly understood her situation and improvised a sex change operation for me, I barely managed to dodge the knee directed towards the Hachimans.

2.0

Rapidly I exployed the opening Tohsaka left with her kneeing, robbing her of the two objects she kept in her right pocket and at the end pushing her away.

2.5

Plan complete! Now I had her keys and... shell cell phone?

"Who use this stuff anymore"
I thought vaguely confused.

Was Tohsaka poor or something? Regardless now I had some material to force her to do what I wanted.

(A/N PERV!)

"Do you want to know why Tohsaka? Because I got your keys, and I could sent weird photos to all your contacts...wait do you have seriously only six contacts?"

"Wha-you, I'll...ugh just go in the damn church before I decide to make Archer blow up this whole place"
Sighed Tohsaka suppressing the urge to destroy me to the atomic level.

"Gland we arrived to an agreement have a phone"
I tossed her the cell phone.

"and the Keys!"
She complained barely catching her communication device.

"After I have renewed my faith in God"
I commented finally entering in Fuyuki's church.

Pushing open the thick wood I recalled the last time I entered in a holy building, I believe it was five or six months ago long story short a certain idiot ehmehemhemeghm Hiccup trying to buy some ancient dragon bones got himself caught by a group of Executioners, and that group of Executioners had been followed by a group of Dead Apostles.
A church burned down, bullets were shot, blood and A LOT of sweat shed. After that I passed an entire night under a anti-radiation shower.

Why an anti-radiation shower? Good question. Vampires are so strong and etc because two powerful interdimensional metals strengthen all their atoms, the problem: one metal can create an incredible photoelectric effect even if it is hit by little light that has got a wavelength equal to green or shorter making photoelectrons run like crazy inside a vampire body messing with all the molecular bonds. Before he or she knows it: the proteins fall apart, all the water in their bodies starts boiling while the second mystical metal react to the free electrons generating tons of X rays.

Ergo vampire hunters die young because they all have cancer by their thirties.

The point is when I go inside churches or the situation gets bad or really bad, and given how wonderfully unlucky I had been in the past 24 hours I wasn't exactly optimistic.

Still I didn't have many option; the music was already playing and now I could only dance.

"In the name of the father, son and holy spirit"
I whispered making the cross sign.

Now supposedly there was a priest in the church, I could only see a ominous looking building lighted only by a few fake candles. The air was even cooler than outside and everything was immersed in a faint ghostly glow.

"...this place is creepy"
I muttered advancing in the central nave hoping to find this fantomatic priest.

My steps resounded hollow and NOBODY was showing up.

"EHM excuse me, I'm a lost lamb that is going to end up slaughtered in a mystical fight between heroic spirits, can the person in charge come here and do his damn job?"
I asked after losing all my patience.

Not to be melodramatic, but odd as it sounds I like living.
For another good minute the only companion I got at my side was silence, then a shadow made its way out of the sacristy and for some reason I felt the temperature drop even more.

"This priest has quite the presence, 193 centimetres tall, moves without effort but his arms only go through three trajectories, he has weapons on himself, most likely black keys...dammit I can't understand how many, I'm too weak right now. I'd give him about fifty years maybe a bit less. Definitely an ex executioner"
I thought squaring the man in front of me.

"Welcome in the house of God young man, I didn't expect another visitor at this hour"
He said with a deep voice devoid of emotions.

"ah? Tohsaka and Emiya didn't mention I was out there waiting for my "private" consultation"
I asked rising an eyebrow.

"I believe they might have forgotten.."

"Tohsaka stormed out the moment Emiya didn't resign"

" She indeed did"

"Figure.. regardless I'm Hikitani Hachiman and due to unpleasant circumstances I got caught up in the Holy grail war."
I said laying out clear and simple the reason why I was in a church instead of my sweet bed.

"Two in one evening, that must be an event worth of notice even for a mystical competition such as this one"

"Spare me your sass...uh"

"Kotomine Kirei"

"Spare me your sass Kotomine Kirei"

"As you wish mr Hikitani"

Okay first of all I have a revelation to do, after talking with this priest for exactly 34 seconds I could already say I didn't like him. Everything about him was suspicious: his voice, his posture, the fact another person was currently hidden in the sacristy, and most of all the disgusting feeling of death that surrounded him.

For some reason Kotomine Kirei didn't stuck me as a person, he reminded me more of a walking corpse.

"Now then shounen can you please describe me the events that lead you to the door of the Lord."
Said the priest stepping towards me, as he moved closer a terrible feeling of nausea attacked my insides.

Pain, his whole existence bathed in pain, like a crocodile in the mud, but he... he enjoyed it.

My lips immediately dried, and I had to fight with all my strength to suppress the instinct to draw my gun and shoot until he stopped being a threat.

"Calm down, calm down Hachiman, no emotions, no hesitation, no mistakes"
I told myself before I let the whole situation go south.

"Well there is nothing much to say, the Lancer servant attacked Shiro Emiya's house where I'm currently living; a few things happened and I became a human kebab"
I said briskly showing a spear wound I recreated with my pain magic.

Having healed the original one I had to use y pain magic and simulate a new one so that Emiya wouldn't suspect I was the black skeleton. Unfortunately Emiya still managed to figure out my identity and worst of all the curses of the Gae bolg that were still hanging around in my body regrouped in proximity of the wound I self-inflicted.

In common langauge: "I screwed up"; the fake injury had become as threatening as the real deal.
I could deal on my own with the side effects of my magic and the drugs I used, but with this wound... I would need at least a month to return back on my feet properly.

"Well that's quite the injury you got, but I must praise the medical aid measures you have taken, the stitches are almost perfect"
Commended Kotomine finally face to face with me.

"You can tell they're self done?"
I asked surprised by his eye for not-magical medicine.

"The inclination suggested to me, yet it's surprising, usually the pain, or the painkillers compromise the precision of the treatment. Do you endure well pain or the pain-killers"
He asked hinting an unhealthy smile under his stone mask.

"Who knows... Now can you please do your damn job and heal me!?"
I finally snapped, this priest really couldn't get a damn hint!

"Your temper do not please me"
Retorted gesturing me to take a seat.

"And it doesn't please me nearly dying, so deal with it"
I said seating down on one of the many benches.

Kotomine then asked me to undress my upper body so he could start the treatment, I hesitated a second because normally I would have had my reserves before showing to a complete stranger my scars, but I couldn't avoid it so I just went along with his request.

"Rhh your hands are cold"
I grunted as he started to chant with low voice the healing spell.

"Be silent. I need to concentrate, your body is way more damaged than I expected"

"Tends to happen when you encounter a servant who's not friendly"
I whispered as painfully hot and cold jolts of mana left Kotomine's hands to enter in my body.

UGH! He was the worst healer ever! I barely managed to keep a straight face while my muscles were sewed back together and various curses decomposed inside my veins.

"Have you ever heard of delicacy"
I asked after a pained groan betrayed my face.

"I do prefer efficiency"
Not even the time for a sassy retort and the painful shocks increased of intensity.

This asshole was enjoying every moment, wasn't he?

"...not on my watch"
I thought recollecting myself .

"So since you prefer efficiency, explain how does the protection method of the church work. I'm mildly interest in this matter"
I started to talk sealing all the pain away from my facial nerves.

"Only mildly?"
Asked Kotomine increasing once again the number of jolts.

"Yeah I prefer being in charge of my own security, but I'm always up to discover benefits I can obtain"

"The system is simple: for all the length of the war at night you get transferred inside the church which is a territory that bans all servants"

"The ban is Magical or legal?"
I questioned.

"The church expect all the participants to follow the rules"

"So the church is useless"

"Once you obtain the wrath of a servant, few things are useful to avoid a bitter end."

"So the church is definitely useless"

"... Basically"

Oh fantastic so if I ever decided to spend a night here I'd be protected by a piece of paper, wait as far as I know nobody signed anything... I'd be protected by nothing. This whole supervisor thing was complete bullshit!

" What's your job again?"
I said while the cold reality was proving itself much more painful than any healing spell.

"Record Master servant and events of the Holy Grail war, protect those who have abandoned the war or that have been caught up in the cross fire and set bounties."
Responded the priest stopping to release mana.
I still felt like trash, but this was probably the best treatment Kotomine could do to heal me.

"So you're an overly glorified notary that sets bounties...what kind of bounties are we talking about?"

"If a servant goes out of control I shall inform all Masters that who ever defeat said servant will obtain an extra command seal"

Hearing those words a passage of a report about the Holy Grail War flashed in my mind.
"... at the end of every Holy Grail War all the remaining command seals are collected by the supervisor, there should be around 30 seals still around and the current holder is...Kotomine Kirei. Holy shit this man has under these stupid priest robes mana worth of a tactical nuke"
I thought while the possible level of threat that Kotomine Kirei represented grew exponentially.

"I see"

God. The more I discovered about him the more I feared him. Kotomine Kirei was a wild card in this war as much I was, if he decided he wanted a servant I highly doubted anyone could get in his way: with so many command seals he had A LOT of mana and if he was half as skilled as I though he was, and surprise attack was part of his vocabulary... He could have already took down a Master before the start of the effective Grail war.

"And who tell me it hasn't happened already"

In a second this doubt ignited all my paranoia.

"I have treated all your physical injuries at the best of my capabilities, but I couldn't do much for your magic circuits, I suggest various days of recovery"
Said Kotomine as he went to switch off all the fake candles of the church.

"I don't know how much rest I'm going to get, I bet the next days will be pretty intense"
I muttered observing the shadows of the church grow wider.

Out of pure instinct I moved my left hand on my perfectly concealed gun; the cool metal and the familiar weight immediately helped me to calm down, yet I could feel it in my bones something was terribly off.

"Even though, you must not over strain your magic circuits, otherwise your demise will be almost assured... You're a spider-web type aren't you?"
He asked starting to walk around me like some kind of predator.

"Please, don't ask questions you already know the answer to"
I retorted trying to focus on the third person inside the church.

He or She had made use of the growing shadow to come out unobserved from the sacristy, unfortunately the smell of an unisex perfume of some sort had betrayed him... or her.

"I know this fragrance it was with this week number of Motorbikes plus"
I thought while the time I spent to read magazine unlawfully in a kombini store yesterday flashed through my brain.

"...the perfume is really cheap and intense, only someone gaudy and with little taste would use it"
I whispered after Kirei had finally stopped to prey around me.

" Hikitani Hachiman, you're a sharp young man, and I appreciate your predisposition to avoid meaningless courtesy. As you said I realized the moment I started to heal you the nature of your magic circuits"Said the priest oddly elated.

"actually that's the only reason why you survived the curse of the Gae Bolg. Yet I can't help but think that only our good lord can know how much it must have hurt: all your mana screaming before being corrupted by that dark energy. It must have left youbbegging for the swift relieve of death." This guy enjoyed pain.

"It was actually less intense than you would expect, but... you know,I never mentioned the spear that injured me was the Gae Bolg."

Alarm sirens resounded in my head: EMERGENCY EMERGENCY.
Without a second thought I draw my gun and shot one, two, three bullets aiming at his lungs and where I believed his hands would be after drawing his black keys.

*bang bang bang

My metallic shooting star flew against Kotomine, this was supposed to be an end move, but before my eyes two of my bullets got sliced up in a TIIIINNG exploding in a shower of sparks, while the last one merely tored his left sleeve.
Shit!

"What the hell! He took out six black keys in less than half second. His reaction time is way too fast"
I thought as the priest threw six holy blades in my direction.

This guy was more than a former executioner... he was too strong, meanwhile I could reach the 80% of my maximum strength at best and was out numbered.

"Dammit!"

Forcing myself to keep a decent composture, I let my battle hardened instincts do their job. Speed, Trajectory I processed in the blink of an eye those information: 4 black keys were aimed towards my joints while the last two at my throat, without hesitation I released four bullets shattering all the black keys directed against my arms and knees, then I dashed towards the remaining two. I didn't have the time to dodge those blades safely and I couldn't allow Kotomine to team up with the other person hidden in the church, so discarding all fears and doubts I charged straight and dived under the black keys a moment before they stuck me.

"oh"
Exaled Kotomine as I rolled on the floor and immediately resumed my neck breaking rush against him.

Again the priest readied his holy weapons, yet before he could make any use of them I destroyed them with all the bullets I had left. Many magical shards pierced the priest cheeks forcing him to close his eyes for a second.

If this was the closest thing to an opening I could get then I had no choice but launching a sure kill attack. With all my might I propelled myself forward and performed a flying kick.

To be fair this move was suicidal at best: any executioner worth his salt could easily anticipate my trajectory through sound, dodge and then break my leg with an elbow, but actually it was what I counted on.

Hinting a smile the priest shifted his weight and dodged my incoming foot with ease.
"Shounen. You're too impulsive"
Reinforcing his elbow Kotomine striked my right leg with all his strength.

*CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN

But I knew it was going to happen and the moment the priest hit me, I had already twisted myself. The raw power that should have cracked my bones made me spin in mid-air and shot my left heel Kotomine's nape.

"URGH"
"Shit"

Hurt by the respective blows we both fell on the floor. Kotomine lost from his grip the handle of a black key. I grabbed it. And then I only know I had put a blade under the priest throat, but guess what: He had done the same.

"I suppose this is a tie"
Commented the priest studying the blade I created from the black key.

"you suppose uh? Like you supposed the Gae Bolg was the spear that stabbed me"
I retorted looking straight in his bleeding face.

"A Master has already died by having her heart tored apart by the Lancer servant, as a supervisor of the Holy Grail war I tend to note down these kind of information and elaborate them."

"A Master is dead already? The last servant it's been summoned tonight how's that possible?"

"The Lancer servant must have found that his first Master wasn't worthy of him and provided to erase her life"

"Everything you say sounds like lies to me priest"

"I have spoken with enough atheists to have heard this line too many times shounen"

"A joke? Really? We are about to slit each other throats and you do a joke?"

"Irony does help to avoid making rash decisions, like shooting inside a holy building"

"Or try to stab me with black keys"

"..."

"I noticed your time reaction was too fast when I shot for the first time, you already had the intention to attack me before I even started."

"Your eyes are sharp shounen"

"More like used to psychos"

"ah that's indeed true I planned to attack you to test if you were worthy, but you truly surpassed my expectations. I see a wonderful technique and battle mindset have you received any formal training as a church operative?"

"self-taught... and worthy of what exactly"

"I'll tell you the moment you lower your blade"

"Like hell"
I said forcing myself to remain in that stall position.

If I dared to move there was no way I knew what he cheap perfume user was going to do: I had to have the priest life under my blade to avoid anything funny happened. Even if it meant risking my life.

Besides I shot an entire magazine of bullets Tohsaka and Emiya must have heard and are now coming to rescue me.

...

Right now.

...

Now.

...

Any moment.

...

...

"So, the church has a sound erasing spell or just very very thick walls?"
I asked staring in the oddly amused eyes of Kotomine Kirei.

"Both"

"Well, GG priest you win"
I said lowering the black key.

"You've done the right choice shounen"
He did the same.

"Now what am I worthy of exactly?"

"Of the chance to suffer longer and fight for your life in more battles"

"Pretty ominous, what are you going to do? Give me these pretty black keys ?"

"You can take them if you desire, but first I'd like to introduce you to a certain person"

"I don't like where this conversation is going"

"As I said before: once you obtain the wrath of a servant, few things are useful to avoid a bitter end... can you guess at least one?

"..another servant"

"Please grant us your presence Heroes king, Gilgamesh."

"Wait wha-"

"Kirei, I truly hope you know what your action are leading to"

"Of course my liege"

"...I see, then I don't mind playing along. Good evening mongrel"

" yo first Riajuu, terrible perfume"

*TUN (church's door closing)

" An eighth Master in this Holy Grail War... what made you take this decision Kirei?"

"I do not know precisely my liege, I'd say because he reminds me of the person I wanted to crush the most or... because the black heart that beats in my chest told me to "

"His existence is repulsing. His entire soul is nothing more than the filth of this world compressed in one point. He is a vulgar beast that transcends the forbidden"

"you just don't like his guts"

"Perhaps, I however adimt he can be a formidable ally or a formidable foe"

"He is definitely well trained"

"I'd say you could defeat him with your 29 command seals, but if both of you were to fight a stronger opponent... the mongrel would be the only one to survive"

"why do you say so?"

"...his soul, is more powerful than any mortal being"

"...I see"

"..."

"..."

"..Kirei is my perfume bad?"

"..."

"Okay I'm still alive"
This was definitely my first thought after coming out from the church and have somehow survived the encounter with the progenitor of all shitty popular guys.

"This was supposed to be a vacation, this was supposed to be a vacation"
I muttered spasmodically closing behind me the two wood doors of the holy building.

Dammit dammit and again dammit, now there was no going back.

"Hikigaya finally! It took you an eternity"
Greeted me Emiya the moment he saw me.

"Sorry my body was more messed up than I imagined"
I said reaching the unlikely crew of weirdos I was stuck with.

"...Man are you okay? You look dead pale"
Asked my land lord putting an hand on my shoulder looking...worried.

Oh dear Emiya, is he pitying me?

Fuck he was! No no no I was in a desperate situation, but I still had my dignity.

"I don't want any filthy Riajuu compassion"
I thought shoving away the red haired teenager's arm.

"Yeah yeah Emiya I'm fine. I'm just coming to terms with the fact the church is useless, that I'm stuck with you and that my life insurance sucks, mostly becuase I didn't renewed it!"
I grunted shaking my head.

"Kirei roughed you up with his sweet words?"
Asked Tohsaka hinting she felt twisted pleasure in looking at my suffering.

"You can say that!"
I exclaimed.
"That man has got the cheerfulness of a grave and the delicacy of a butcher, just look what he did to my hand while he "treated" me"
I rose my arms up and showed everybody that my right hand had been enveloped in multiple layers of bandages.

"He said the Gae Bolg curse directed itself in my hand made and the flesh go in a pseudo necrosis, wanna look it's all blue, yellow and gray"
I said starting to undo the bandages.

"No"
"No!"
"I'd like to avoid"
"Gross"
Immediately responded Tohsaka, Emiya, Saber and Archer stopping me from removing any sterile cloth.

"Ah pussies."
I grinned admiring the distorted faces of this unlikely team.
"Luckily once I started mentioning lawsuits and other crap I managed to extort six black keys from the priest"

"Can you actually use them?"
Asked Archer puzzled.

"Can I? With this hand I'd say: probably"

"Is your hand going to return normal?"
Inquired Saber peering me from head to toes.

"Agaib probably, I can still feel it and move it"
I closed and twisted my hand as demonstration.
"But for the next month I'd better keep it sealed."

"I see"
Retorted the sword girl.

"Okay now that everything is settled Hikigaya give me back my bloody keys"
Smiled Tohsaka revealing her prized "I'm going to kill you in your sleep face".

"Fuck no! Until I'm not in my sweet bed you can forget your keys. I'm not handing them over, how can I be sure you won't order Archer to make rain an hail of arrows and slaughter me?"

"Believe me the longer you hold my possession more I'm tempted to make you pay for all the time you made me waste tonight"

Okay that was scary. Like Yukinoshita level maybe I should change strategy.

"Dammit Tohsaka Liste-"

"Calm down you two, nothing good comes from quarrelin-"
Cut me down my landlord: How rude

"Emiya shhhhh! The grown ups are talking. Listen Tohsaka if I know give these keys to you can I trust you won't stab my back?"
I asked drawing from my pocket Tohsaka's house keys .

"No you can't trust me, but I'm too tired to start a battle at this hour and I want to go to sleep as much as you do"

"...okay close enough"
I shrugged tossing her the keys.

At once four pair of eyes gave me a weird look: Archer, Saber, Emiya and Tohsaka herself stared at me in confusion.

"What?"

"You gave the to her just like that?"
Asked Archer crossing his arms and rising an eyebrow.

"Uh yes? Can't argue with her logic"

"even if you have acted all edgy and wary the whole night?"
Joined to discussion Emiya in the same pose has Archer...

...mph oddly similar.

"Emiya I don't pretend you understand my deep reasoning, but IT'S FOUR AM! NOBODY WANTS TO DO ANYTHING AT FOUR AM unless it's a snack..."

"He got a point"

"Saber you're not helping"

"Then it's decided we go home and we grab something at the closest 24/24 fast food"

"Hikigaya that junk is not entering in my kitchen"

"We'll see about that!"
I said starting to run now that I had a reason different from "hey there is a secret eighth servant" To get the hell away from the church.

"Stop running you jerk and don't you dare to buy any of that trash! Saber help me restrain the creep!"

"On it"

"you know Archer if I think the Holy Grail War is supposed to be a noble fight between experienced Magi, I can might start to cry."

"Relax Rin, we'll face plenty of formidable foes in due time (probably in five minutes)"

"..."

"You want to go at the fast food too don't you?"

"No *growl Maybe, *groooooowwwlllllll, I wouldn't mind grabbing a bite, it's been a pretty stressful night"

"You just want an happy meal."

"STOP READING MY MIND!"

Walking away from the church a surreal calm had surrounded the whole area: no cars, no people and only a few lights in my path, actually there was so few artificial lights that as I passed close to Fuyuki's human made lake I nearly lost myself in that starry mirror. Finally I felt like my horrible day had finished, I could finally relax and eat something!

"So standing to my memory we have to surpass the artificial lake, go over three road junctions and we'll be in front of the 24/24 McDonald"
I said after having escaped from Saber, convinced Saber to change faction and forced Emiya to obedience.

the magical adventures of brain-kun

"He couldn't stand Saber puppy eyes don't be proud of yourself"

FORCED EMIYA TO OBEDIENCE.

"Have you seriously memorized the location of all the fast foods in Fuyuki"

Forced him to obedience, but not to silence, There was still room for improvements.

"Oi Hikigaya I've made a question"

"Yes I have Emiya! Stop judging my guilty pleasures"
I retorted completely annoyed by my landlord.

Couldn't he see that Saber and I have reached an agreement and were actually going to create a bond, how dared he to get in my way of my ANTI-SWORD-GIRL-THAT-STABS-IN-THE-BACK plan. For short ASGTSITB plan... it easier to pronunce while drinking something.

"At least you can be useful for once"
Said another unwanted voice at my back.

Okay my shitty day was still far from over!

3,2,1 deadpan on.
"Tohsaka, I know I said I wanted to keep my eyes on you and etc, but why are you still here?"
I asked shooting my deadest eyes on the twin tailed Magus. Didn't she wanted to go home very badly until a minute ago?

"I was hungry"

... suspiciously possible, but I needed a sharp comment to see if it was truly the reason. What could I do? Remark her weight. Nope definitely a deathly result. Some teasy comment about her not being able to stay away from me. No from Emiya! Two annoyed people at the price of one definitely my deal.

"I se-"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM

Suddenly a ball of fire lighted the area leaving behind a massive roar.

"Servants"
Said Tohsaka and I at the unison.

In a second everyone's heart beat increased, the false sense of security we all kept tight on our chest shattered. We were in the middle of a war, calm , especially at night, was only a passing illusion.

"Shit"
I gritted my teeth drawing my black keys.

Who ever was fighting right there had some serious fire power.

"Could it be Caster?"
I thought unable to see far enough to answer my own question.

" Tohsaka what do we do?!"
Asked Emiya alarmed.

"For now..."
Hesitated the girl glancing back and forth to Emiya and the other side of the lake.

For now what woman? If you have to say something say it or someone more experienced will have to take the reins...Oh geez.

"For now let's analyze the situation. Archer give me a report: width of the lake. Number of people fighting. Tell me if any Masters, Sevants are visible, no attacks until I give the order.
Saber Establish a perimeter don't let anyone or anything come closer than 50 metres.
Tohsaka prepare gems and to read the stats of any eventual servant.
Emiya don't do anything stupid, hold my dagger and guard Tohsaka."
I said taking command.

Not to be rude, but Tohsaka was too inexperienced to decide whenever attack or retreat in a situation like this, both the servants had too much to lose to be objective and Emiya...was Emiya. With that being said I remained the best choice to coordinate this bunch and take decisions.

Still for some odd reason I only received blank stares after giving orders.

BBOOOOOMMMMM.
Another explosion.

"Hey are your ears just for beauty? You have orders MOVE! GO GO GO!"
I screamed finally getting reactions.

Saber summoned her armor and started to guard the rest of us. Emiya grabbed the dagger I tossed him with a surprisingly not-terrible reverse grip and put himself in front of Tohsaka; the girl a bit sceptical did what I said extracting two gems from her sleeves. And finally Archer directed his enchanted eyes towards the battle.

"what do your elf eyes see Legolas"
I thought summoning from the handles of my black keys six mystical blades.

"300 metres from here, 2 women and a girl down, man in his late twenty fighting against a servant with a single arm, definitely a Berserker."

"any distinctive features?"
I asked while two terrible assumptions started to form in my mind.

"The three girls are all homunculi, and the man...has some sorts of demonic traits: horns, fangs, I can't tell if he is a servant or not"

Okay terrible assumption 1 confirmed. the Einzbern team I met his afternoon was on the other side of the lake.
Let's hope assumption 2 was wrong.

"Why can't you tell if he is a servant?"
I asked as the flames raging on the battle field nearly blinded me.

"Fights with a sword, uses fire familiar as decoy or quick attacks and he is highly proficent in close combat. We know he can't be a Saber, while no common Assassin, Caster or Rider can fight so well in a close fight."

Oh Goddammit assmuption 2 confirmed, it was that Sieg, wasn't it. After all Nijito said he was interesting, and by that guy standards I was sure an homunculous able to fight a servant was labelled as such.
...And to be honest it was interesting indeed. which magical creature's organ or which artifact could empower an homuncolous to that extent? Ah NO TIME FOR FAN-BOYING!

"Who's winning?"
Asked Emiya doing a childish yet fundamental question.

"I can't tell Berserker is injured, but he still retain the edge in both speed and power, meanwhile the other man never goes for the kill, he keeps too much time on defense waiting some sort of perfect opening and just do some minor damage on Berserker's leg"
Responded the white haired servant.

"Something stinks"
I grimaced.

"He might be waiting for reinforcements, stalling Berserker as long as he can while an ally comes"
Said Tohsaka definitely on the edge.

That was bad would be bad. Yet If Berserker won then he and his Master were going to retreat, but if the mad servant lost... I couldn't tell what's going to happen.

"For now we assume the worst. The demon guy is a Master. He is going to win and there could be a incoming servant, No we suppose it's already lurking around."
I stated before taking a deep breath.
"Saber! feel anything?"

"No presence detected, but if it is an Assassin servant we're talking about I can't be sure."

"Okay than act like there is definitely an Assassin servant around"

"Hikigaya. Aren't you acting paranoid"

"No! A mystical psychotic kid told me the demon homunculus guy had the Assassin servant". Would had been my answer under normal conditions, but since it would have disclosed quite a few sensible info I went for a far more composed
"Better paranoid than dead Emiya"

Okay having shutted up my harem protagonist landlord I could finally think.

"A way out of here. I need to decide which is the best course of actions to get the hell out of this fight zone. Think Hachiman Think! First Berserker is too damn injured. Second Sieg-guy shot two massive balls in rapid succession and Berserker survived. Third standing to Archer Berserker keeps getting small injuries on a leg. Fourth homunculus brat, Flat chest and Leys-whatever weren't moving so they were injured..."

"I got it! Berserker has some kind of damage based Noble phantasm. That Master knows it and just wants to cripple him, you have both seen those fireballs from before, at blank point range those things should be able to blow away even a servant's head "
I said putting together the dots.

"Hikigaya, we servants are heroic spirits there is no tell how far our resistance can go. Your assumption is risky"
Said Saber raising a good point.

"Yeah, but given the dangerous approach of Demon Master and the fact all the homuculus girls are moveless I think the winner is already decided."
Whispered Emiya giving proof of... being smart?

the magical adventure of brain-kun

"Someone switched with him... I make the call "It's the Assassin servant" and I then add let's shoot him!"

Without giving in the eye, I immediately got prepared do to a check-stab on my land lord as his, actually correct, words worried me.

And to be fair I wasn't the only one.

*stinnnn(sound of an hair ripped)
"ouch! The heck Tohsaka!"

"Sorry, you sounded way too smart for someone who didn't drop out from the Grail war fifty minutes ago."

"Hey that's Rud-"
"Shut up you two! Demon-master got disarmed and...The Leg."
Archer cut down Emiya imposing his presence with deep voice before just interrupting himself at mid-sentence.

"What? The leg what Archer, speak dammit I told you to give me a report not half assetted sentences"
I snapped, all this tension was killing me.

"Demon-Master has cut off Berserker's leg, now he's going towards the homunculi"

Inner Shiro
Called it!

"Oh crap...the situation is going south, everything is going very very south"
I whispered trying to figure out how to manipulate the people around me into doing what I wanted.
"Ugh! I go with reverse psychology, pride, shame and common interests"

3,2,1 Loner skill number 100 vacuum cleaner seller's voice

"Okay Saber, Tohsaka, Emiya and Archer pack it up you're leaving now."
I said with an odd combination of anxiety and cheerful-ness.
"And before anyone can complain just a tiny remainder. YOU, masters and servants, tonight are obtaining an indirect victory that cost only the life of a girl that you'll eventually end up fighting against. Am I right Archer?"
I smiled making a wide gesture towards the servant of the bow.

"...that's correct"
Retorted him in low voice avoiding to make eye contact with me.

...Oh dear moral conflict... chocolate Emiya was way less ruthless than I imagined. Perfect!

"Then no need to talk any longer, let's get going, before the Assassin servant decide to try its luck on us."
I said dematerializing my blades, then framing with my fingers the fight and Saber.

Good I now had set the right atmosphere.
Time to prick the co-stars with a simple and cruel question.
"Am I right, Emiya Tohsaka?"

"..."
"..."

Oh gosh no response. Com'on guys I hadn't been too convincing, if they had some objection they could use their mouth and speak!

"I-I want to help her"
Finally Emiya! Okay good we were making progress, now I needed a cold shower of reality to avoid he goes out of control. Tohsaka on stage in 3,2,1.

"Don't be stupid Emiya-kun, saving another Master like this will eventually to hunt back both you and me, that Demon Master... THING has single handedly taken down a Master, a servant and two guards, I won't get in his way unless I have a plan"
Snapped the twin tailed Magus as her rational thoughts defeated the emotional ones.

And in this precise moment the lead actor steal the scene.

"Wise words girl, wise words, so has logic suggest you get the hell away from here"

"Hikigaya, I'm not goin-"

"Yes you fucking are, otherwise both Fujimura and Matou are going to kill me, so take Saber and go, meanwhile... I'll do something stupid"
I stated concluding my play and stretching my legs.

Wind speed; check.
Einzbern team; still kicking.
Distance; 300 metres, I could handle that so check.
Trampoline;
"Hey Saber toss me on the other side of the lake!"
Check.

Kicking the ground I started to run like an absolute mad man towards the sword girl who was still patrolling the area.
The moment she heard my voice visible surprise painted her face, however she quickly collected herself and aimed at me the an invisible something?

"oh too late to worry"
I thought jumping against Saber.

My feet collided with some sort of wall made of wind, and honestly it felt pretty cool, really all the cold air was freezing me.

TWOOOOOOOON.

In a second furious gusts of air shoot me in the sky like an arrow.
I went flying so fast the only words I could say were.

"Emiya if I die don't touch my stuuuuuuuuuuuufffffffffffff!"

"..."

"..."
"..."

"That incoherent bastard! He tells me to retire and he rush in the face of the demon guy! The more I know him the less I understand"

"Emiya-kun. Can Hikigaya actually survive against the demon Master?"

"Probably? I don't know. I'm inclined to think everything just said and did was just to force all of us to take action"

"Shirou, you're saying Hachiman indirectly asked for our aid?"

"If he is sure he can't win, yes"

"And if he thinks he can? If the Hikigaya kid thinks he can win?"

"Archer I don't kno-"

"That Asshole!"

"Uh Tohsaka?"

"We are his decoy, He wants us to act as his decoys if the demon Master's servant was already keeping us under control!"

"Tohsaka... Hikigaya isn't that much of an assho-"

*Bang Bang Bang
(gun's shots)

"Shiro get down!"

"ARGH my arm!"

"RIN!

"Okay HIKIGAYA IS THAT MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE!"

Wind, wind pushing me from behind and wind slashing me up to my face, this was a combination of events I had experienced only after trying out a gigant air-soft cannon, but while the first experience had been admittedly funny, this one.

"How do I land? How do I land? How do I land? How do I land? How do I land? How do I land? How do I land?"

Less.

Finding the quikest way to get through Fuyuki's artificial lake had been easy enough, so leave behind some mytical meat shields to get out from my way the Assassin servant.

I expected the hard part to be stalling the fight with the Sieg dude and learn how to trigger Bereserker's noble phantasm, but I didn't take in account the hardest part.

Slow down from Saber's savage strength!

"Dammit dammit, I'll reach the target in seconds! Think Think Hachiman"
I thought spreading my limbs to lose speed while keeping an eye on the demon like homunculus.
He was charging his last five fire familiars.

That was really bad he was going for the end game I had to think faster.
"No magecraft yet I'm not sure how strained are my magic circuits, eh if I amortize with a somersault, it will turn in at least ten somersaults and I'll be an easy target, unless I'm pushed back by the explosion of one of those familiars!."

Gifted by that sudden idea, I landed in front of the Homuncoulus brat. My momentum was insane the shocks across my spine even more; the soil was compressed under my weight the heat of the fire birds was scorching my face. Yet at once everything disappeared, everything except the familiars had become meaningless. I had to destoy them but how.

Familiar Type: Remote control
Power Source : Pyro crystals combined with multiple magecrafth schools.
Patter: Move in pentagonal shape...Fractals? No. A coordination unit.

*twwwiiiin
I summoned my six holy blades form the black keys' handles.

Plan: Identify control unit, the darkest one, the highest one.

Exectution:

"Eliminate. Control unit."

As I finished to process all the data, my left momentum pushed me forward like a shard, the timing was essential, a single precise slash, that was everything I had to do.

0,4 0,3 0,2 0,1 0,0

*slash
with a movemnt that was the complete marriage of grace and violence I pierced through the fire control familiar.
Explosive heat ran through my blades, I could feel blister forming on one hand and the smell of burnt bandages from the other one. After that I felt all the raw power of the bird push me back erasing what remained of Saber's energy.

The word returned around me .

Okay my plan had worked, but gosh my hands hurt like a bitch!

"arf arf"
I panted making eye contact for the first time with the demon Master.

With Sieg.

Awe, shock, fear, curiosity. Countless emotion I'd never belived to see on a homunculus flashed in the crimson eyes of my opponent, he seemed to recognize me and I was 90% sure it wasn't agood thing.

I was planning to hold back and then do some serious damage going all out unexpectedly... my plans now needed some lighting overworking, but first I had to introduce myself to my audience.

"Hey brat, unconscious Flat-chest, unconscious whatever-your-name-was, fancy meeting you here"
I said quietly staring at the Einzbern faction.

(I was sure I truly looked like a badass)

..their conditions were pityful, all of them were severly injured and only the brat seemed to be conscious. In part that relieved me because it meant the battles between these two Masters have been going on for a while, thus Sieg must have lost a lot of energies already.

the magical adventures of brain-kun

"The fact this guy still managed to cripple a servant to that extent after spending great amount of energy isn't reassuring at all! Nijito was right if both go all out he'll win"

"More reasons to do some serious damage now that he is weakened"

"Genius you're weakened too"

"..."

"...I guess this is going to be a battle of who break up first"
I thought studying the homunulus little girl to understand if she was just going to be a dead weight or not.

She was in shock her eyes were wide open and her mouth was trembling. I had definitely arrived after she had gave up...Fuck now she needed at least three minutes to return to be useful.

"Speaking of useful I need a cigarette shot or I'm going to have a nervous break-down tonight, Sieg-guy still in confusion state, if I don't add any stimolus he won't react for other few seconds."
I thought blessing the old cigarette package remaining by the smoking vice of Emiya's father.

I didn't know how old that last cigarette was, but I couldn't care: I was definitely going to do more dangerous things tonight than smoking an expired roll of tobacco that had stood next to micro photo for God knows how long...

"Wait a minute, let me see this picure"
My guts immediately twisted.

Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh no no no no no no no, It was a lie.

"you're the boy kneeling on the street"
Said the homunculus tiny girl definitely-not-a-carbon-copy-of-the-woman-standing-near-the-magus-killer-a.k.a-Emiya's father.

"Yeah"
I mumbled drowning under this sea of dangerous coincidens that could imply many many things I didn't want to deal with.

God! Now I truly needed to smoke, drink or do anything else to calm down my neurons.

"Too much character background in one shot"
I thought as I rapidly draw the last cigarette and conluded to introduce myself with a.
"But please call me Hikigaya"

One problem... I didn't have a lighter.

*fshhhhhhh
(red hot balck keys sound)

Well it was close enough.

With a shap movement I ignited my cigarette, breathed a bit of cancer and at last started to assault opponent.

Cigarette tight in my teeth, muscles tense and eyes cold like an ice sword.

Those were my mayor features as I dashed against my still confused foe: Sieg. I didn't know what was going through that guy's head, but wasting an opening like this was stupid beyond belief, even if I had planned to stall this battle until Berserker managed to help me.

"RHGAAA!"
Grunting like a predator I covered in the blink of an eye the space between me and Sieg.

Still leaving behind my holy blades red traces, I dived against my opponent and slashed my six burning claws towards his throat; reacting to the sudden danger the homunculus bent his back back-wards doing a bridge and dodging the black keys.

"Nice reflexes"
I thought flying above him...Uh!
"Too good reflexes!"
I added after this guy immediately noticed the opening left on my chest and unleashed a ribs breaking kick.

Shit. he was trained well!
As fast as possible I moved my right foot forward to cover my defenseless chest.
*thun
With a deaf sound Sieg's foot and mine collided, all the power of the homunculus' blow reversed inside my leg; in a second all that strength pushed me upwards, far from my opponent.

The ground beneath me receded at a frightening speed.

"1 metre, 2 metres, 3 metres, 4 metres high... This guy has enough power, speed and reflexes, to send me so high. What a beast"
I whispered breathing a shot of cigarette before all the momentum forced me to twirl in the air.

Dammit I was going to give him my back the moment I landed. I couldnt let him out of my sight!

"GHA"
making recourse yo all my will power I twisted myself the last moment before landing, and without giving the homunculus a moment of rest.

"Throat, shoulder, chest, knees"
I shot at him my six flaming holy blades with three jab and cross movement, like I was a boxer.

Yet in a instant. No faster. In a fraction of instant Sieg: pushed his body in the air with his arms, revolved around himself before touching the ground and landed in the start position of olympic sprinters.

"RHHAAA!"
Roaring like a mad monster he started to run.

*Thuuuun
With each step the earth under his feet shattered, stones flew all over the place and red dragonic claws grew on his hands.

Like a crimson meteorite he dashed against the blades I threw him, there was no fear or doubts in his eyes just a cold pragmatism... that sounds familiar. Anyway at blanc point range, Sieg slipped under my projectiles and resumed his rush like nothing happened.
Fuck he anticipated my moves, how could have he learned to read me so quickly!

"Shit"
I swore creating six new blades to parry the incoming strike aimed at my right side.

*TWIIIN
My holy weapons and his red spell clashed little above my forehead. Explosive heat ran all over my face, sparks lit the night and a very hot/painful jolt pushed back my right arm after I deflected that first scorching crimson slash.

This bastard had taken this battle into close quarters, he had notice the my black keys didn't protect me from the heat of his attack. Clever, but if he dared to think this was enough to stop me he had made a huge mistake.

"HWOOOO!"

Directing the energy left in my right arm towards my legs, I made use of Sieg's power to kick him in the guts; my righ foot flew precise an violent against him, yet before I could connect the homunculus rose his right knee and absorbed the impact.
What could have been a truly painful strike had now tuned in a simple push that allowed my foe to gain two metres from me.

The only thing I obtained from that attack was a moment to breathe, before he dashed back at me and we started a deadly dance of slashes and thrusts. Holy steel and red power flashed between us like lightnings, the spark explosions that followed each strike looked like tiny fireworks and the sweat dropping out from our foreheads spherical diamonds. Our footwork was frenetic, precise and thirsty of victory, all sounds except the one we made had stopped to exist for us, the only thing that mattered was the blow incoming and the one after, and the one after and the one after and the one after.
With nearly maniacal dedication we tried to outpower, outspeed, and outsmart each other, still we remained in a status of stasis: I was too slow and weak to land a blow, Sieg instead had is magical power grow weaker and he... he was lacking something more fundamental I couldn't quite address. Aggressivity? Experience?
I didn't know.
But I had sure understood something: the situation was different from what I imagined. This Sieg guy wasn't just some powerful magus with martial art knowledge: he was just on another level, there was character in each of his blow, sure I could see that that draconic magic he was using slowed down his muscle memory, but still his fighting style was carefully crafted and personal. He was able to anticipate, endure, read the flow of each strike and bend it to his will.

"Oh shit"
I realized.
"Oroboro's martial art, Tiānguó zhī hé de quántóu"

Suddenly in my eyes, all my opponent's moves I have had much difficult to follow started to fall into common patterns I had created myself. My lips dried, the half smoked cigarette I still had in my mouth filed my palate of bitterness.

"Who the hell are you?"
I thought slowing down for a second my movements.

If I'd never done it.

The hesitation that had followed my discovery made me lose one beat: Sieg immediately notice that and with pure brute power he snapped all my six holy blades and kicked my chin with a back flip.

A blazing pain bursted under my jaw, my back bent backwards and my teeth nearly tore the cigarette's filter.

"Damn It isn't the time to make question, it's time to beat the living shit out of this dude and then make questions."
I thought returning into a combative mindset.

Bracing myself, I outstretched my nape towards the ground and put my fists on it.
"Pay back time jerk"

The moment Sieg landed I performed a spinning handstanding sending my heels to clash against the homunculus's face.
I had finally landed a proper blow.

Unfortunately after Sieg received my strikes, he let himself be transported away and thus gained enough space to prepare whatever attack he wanted.

"Oh no no no"
I thought jumping back on my feet, summoning yet another set of holy blades and dashing towards my opponent.

But it was too late. Before my eyes the homunculus whose lineaments seemed to be turning in those of a dragon grinned madly and pronounced three words.

"YOR TOOL SHUL"

Out of pure instinct I crossed my black keys and poured in them all the mana I could; They grew thicker, wider and I manipulated the holy blades to have them cover also the space before my forearm. they seemed more like jai alai gloves.

For an pure blissful second I felt nothing, but then stream of flames assailed me. Unprecedented force started to push me back, I felt the holy metal becoming hotter and hotter, until the smell of burnt skin and flesh started to fill my nose.

"AAAAHHHHHH"
I screamed in pain as the black keys became to glow red hot and my pain magic automatically began to heal my hands before they got carbonized .

Oh com'on com'on I had to push forward! My weapons were barely covering me from these flames if I got pushed back the flame radius increased and it was going to be over for my torso.
Sure using my magecraft I wouldn't die, but at that point this battle would be lost.

"uuuf ahhhh"
I took a shot of tobacco...damn the cigarette was sticked to my lips now.

The magical adventure of brain-kun

GET YOUR PRIORITY IN ORDER DOUCHEBAG, WE HAVE A DRAGON HOMUNCULUS SPITTING FIRE AT US!

" Okay okay, One step...urrrrrgghhhhh"
I began to walk closer to the source of the blaze that was trying to roast me.

"Hot hot hot hot shit shit shit!"
I repeated madly as every single step I took to cover the few metres between me and Sieg made me use countless energies.

Putting a foot after another, I arrived close enough to Sieg to see how his face was getting deformed: black scales were covering his nose, the horns and fangs that at the start of the fight I could barely see were now big and visible.
Whatever power this homunculus was using... it was corrupting his body... and his mind.

The opponent I had fought until a minute ago wouldn't have kept wasting mana with a useless flame that aimed to break my defense using brute strength. he seemed the type to shoot fire bullets and exploy my lack of protections...
On second thought thank God this dude was having his mind corrupted!

Now there just a few more steps and I was going to make this homunculus eat my blades.

"MAGNA YOL TOOL SHUR"

Unless of course he didn't have more power.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK"
I screamed while the sudden increase in fire pressure pushed me back from were I started and made white cracks appear on my black keys.

Bad, terrible,horrible batehorrible!

"Were the fuck is BERSERKER! Shouldn't the ojou-brat have fixed him or something at this point!"

"Berseker can you move?"

"Rha.."

"Yeah me too"

"Godddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt"
I shouted putting all the strength I could in a desperate rush against my homunculus opponent.

The power this Sieg wielded was insane, my blades were going to shatter, to shatter, they were ready to explode in a storm of magical shards!

Only a miracle could save me

... wait a minute.

I didn't need a fucking miracle.
I just needed a thing
I needed to
"MOVE MY DAMN FEETTTTT"

With one last desperate effort I closed the distances between me and dragonic homunculus. I was one step away from him. My black keys were a yellow hot mass covered by infinite white cracks, but finally I got to win this round.

With a swift movement I unhooked from the handles the black keys jumped
*thun
and kicked the whole scorching mass in my opponent face.

"AAHHHHHHHHHHH"
he screamed.

And then what remained of my holy blades exploded sending us flying in opposite directions.

Time began to flow more viscous, after the sudden change of pressure, I lost any form of balance and just hanged there a few feet above the ground surrounded by scorching shards and flames.

Oddly enough in this mist of metallic ashes I found myself at peace and managed to put in order my thoughts.

Immediate threats: eight shards.
Strategy: Block with legs and heal later, shards still red hot, painful, but the immediate cauterization of the wounds won't make me lose blood or reduce excessively my overall performance.
Time: 0,05 seconds

"Ouch these things burn as fuck!"

Secondary threats: Landing
Further analysis: Approaching the ground at medium elevate speed, overall direction same as the location of the Einzbern team
Strategy: None, protect vitals as much as possible and endure the impact.
Time: 3,00 seconds.

"Well isn't that an awful long time to wait"
I thought as my eye lingered towards the homunculs who was in my same situation.

Foe: Sieg.
Race: Homunculus
Threat: Indefinible.
Strength: Indefinible. Possesses elevate level of melee prowless, on par with Oroboro's operative agents, even with his mind under corruption. Further investigations required.
Magecrafth: Indefinible. Draconic in nature and seems to revolve around fire spells, apparently corrupts thinking process, body and possibly soul. Further investigations required.

Gosh I had truly found one heck of a riddle tonight. Nijito said he was open to dialogue, let's hope that once this story was over, I could work-out some kind of truce.

Oh look ground!

Oh... yikes,

"this's going to hurt."

"LaannnndinGH! Ah! Eh! Ih! Oh! Uh! Stone in the shoe! AH"
I grunted crushing on mother earth while confirming my previous statement.

It was official kissing the ground at elevate speed and roll for several metres without proper planning was painful!

"UUUUHHHHAAAAA... still alive...*coff suck it world"
I groaned after ending my painful earth sliding.

Damn everything hurted, my legs had pieces of steel in them, all my bones were roughed up and my head...was actually on something relatively fluffly.

"Eh what is this?...oh hello there brat"
I said realizing that I had reached the side of the tiny homunculus girl I had met this afternoon.

Crimson eyes scanned me with curious and some how annoyed.
"First it's Illya, Illyasviel von Einzbern, not brat. Second who are you? Why are you helping me? Are you okay? Where did you take that coat?"

"That's an awfully long second, do you know that brat?"

"I said"

"yeah, yeah Einzbern-chan complain when I'm not saving your butt. Questions later. For now I just say I don't like people dying under my watch: you were going to be killed, people die when they're killed, ergo I saved you, be sure to repay me."

"Are you a Master?"

"Nope"

"So this whole situation shouldn't matter to you"

"Definitely"

"yet you're here"

"I think I already told you the reason"

"you're weird"

"And you're an Albino small girl who's probably older than me, state your point. Am I weird becuse I'm tall and show my age?"

"...no because I can't get what's your deal and...your hands are smoking"

Oh right my auto healing spell... ugh I was supposed to keep my act of incompetent spell caster.

"My hands are what!? Ah! it burns, God if it burns, the pain ooooooohhh it's unbearable"
I began to roll on my hands until my burns had completely healed, and the holy metal shards expulsed by my legs.

Gosh my right hand's bandage had been almost broken. I had to be more careful.

"Okay they stopped, good, ah it was fault of the black keys' handle, my bad"
I brushed away the issue with maestry.

"Again you're weird"

"Do I have to leave you here? And just to let you know I'm really tempted."

"...I'm sorry, you're just a bit odd"

"I'll go with that, can you walk?"

"No"

"Your servant over there?"

"He is without an arm and leg"

"Duh... I can see that, but if he is still kicking, sorry that came out bad, and the other guy didn't kill him means your servant must have some Noble Phantasm that activates upon damage, am I right?"

"..."

" Am I right! Speak before the demon dude comes back to hunt us!"

"Yes! Berserker regenerates upon dying"

"Okay, now I take you on my shoulders, reset the big guy and we retire with your maids. How's their condition?"
I asked forcing myself on my feet.

"They were both bleeding"
She said in weak voice as I went to check their pulse.

Tolle tuum, ne me pondus
(let me take your burden)

"They're weak but the bleeding has stopped"
I said absorbing sneaky their wounds and then healing them on myself.

Thank God the faint light and the black coat hid all the smoke. Now I had only to endure the rebound and *TWWWWWEEEEEEENNNN

Dammit brain split in two brain, split in two!

"Gha.. arf arf, brat, how's your arm?"

"Still there"

"Okay, wait I have a healing ointment, close your eyes, it's corrosive for them, but your arm will return utilizable "
I ordered building up most of the mana I had left.

The girl closed her eyes and I began to massage her tiny arm.

Tolle tuum, ne me pondus

Her skin twitched under my touch, but as she started to heal she calmed down. Perfect now I had one thing less to do.
Everything was going as I planned...until three new servants showed up.

"...fuck"

Everything happened incredibly fast. I thought only the term "Chaos incarnate" was an apt description of what's going on at this battlefield.

The moment a black coated man landed a few metres from of me...It was like I had my face slapped.
I could immediately say he was a servant, but unlike Rider, Lancer, Saber, Archer, Gilgamesh or Berserker his presence didn't stand out. How could I explain... all the other servants I met so far seemed to fire brand their existence in this reality; once you set your eyes on them you couldn't stop watching, they were a beacon of energy that outshined everything around them.

This servant...Assassin was the exact opposite, he seemed to be an hole in the space-continum, a tear in a reality that was trying to resew up itself.

He was in front of me yet he wasn't.

Needless to say he made all my senses go overdrive, he genuinely scared me. I saw him stare at me and Einzbern for a second, but before he could do anything an hail of red arrows fell from the heavens against him.

"Archer!"
I thought while Assassin dashed away from the impact point.

*BOOOOOMMM

Ground and dirt were sent everywhere while a thick cloud of dust obscured my sight. Gha! my cigarette went off... uh this thing was still in my mouth!

Rhg MIND SET ON BIGGER PROBLEMS HACHIMAN!

"So Assassin has actually taken the bait I left for him, if everything has followed my plans he went to attack Archer after Emiya and Saber tried to chase after me. Saber/Emiya return to back-up Archer since the latter is a long ranged fighter, and they rough up Assassin together. Said servant then recognize shitty situation goes fetch his Master and runs away."
I thought shielding Einzbern with my body from all the dust.

Yet why did I have the odd feeling my plans were going to be screwed up?

"Assassin!"
Screamed Saber's voice sweeping away all the dust with her magical winds.

"Hello Assassin desu"
Responded gloomy the dark servant waving in the air a pink-bladed sword.
He seemed completely at ease.

*Tiuuuuuuuuu
Two other crimson arrows appeared from nowhere to decapitate him. Again he remained completely not bothered by the matter and dodged the two magical projectiles just two movements of his neck.

"Nuuuu, that's what E luck does Archer, try to get closer next time"
Said Assassin profusely taunting Archer who stood roughly 300 metres away.

The dark servant probably grinning under his mask in this moment.

"Honor the battlefield you brute!"
Shouted Saber charging against him with a dash of prana.

"When it will be more efficient"
retorted the servant of the assassination drawing a gun and starting to shoot at Saber.

*bam bam bam
Three bullets flew towards the girl's eyes and shoulder.
Using her invisible sword as a shield Saber deflected all bullets, unfortunately she understood too late they were just a decoys, by the time the bullets had stopped invading her field of view Assassin had rushed against her. Like a snake he slided under Saber defences then regained his footing and landed a devastating upper-cut on her kidneys.

"UGH!"
Gasped Saber from the sudden blow before receiving Assassin's pink sword's pommel on the cheek.

"This wasn't in my plans"
I shivered observing the dark servant dashing towards Berserker while eluding multiple assaults from both Saber with invisible sword and Archer who was now using a set of ying-yang twin blades.

"Brat don't forget your damn sword"
Screamed Assassin throwing at his Master a God-knows-how-heavy great sword lying close to Berserker.

"Thanks it slipped from my hands,...Ugh this thing is heavy!"
Responded Sieg jumping up from the ground looking much more sane than a minute ago.

Oh God other shit incoming!

"Don't die until I'm back!"
Commended Assassin before placing a bullet between Berserker eyes.

Suddenly a pillar of light regenerated the crippled servant making him rose up and start chasing after Assassin with a massive.

"RRRRRRRRRHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Follow me bitches or the twin tailed one blows up!"
Waved off Assassin disappearing in the streets of Fuyuki followed by other three servants.

"and bye bye to all my plans...Einzbern do you have a lighter?"

"No"

"...Gosh I have to wait until Emiya gets here"

"Emiya!?"

"Yeah Saber's master... wonder what's taking him so long."

"RUN TOHSAKA RUN!"

"HOW DID THE PUT AN EXPLOSVE CLOCK ON ME!"

"DON'T KNOW BUT OR YOU DO 10000 STEPS IN FIVE MINUTES OR YOU'RE DONE, SO RUN TOHSAKA "

" WHY ARE YOU RUNNING TOO!?"

"I bet he is flirting with Tohsaka, let's hope they're not too mad"

"HIKIGAYA I'LL KILL YOU"
"HIKIGAYA I'LL KILL YOU"

"Well there are more pressing matters now"
I said inspiring deeply... I was definitely going to burn all the mana I'd left in a matter of minutes.
"Brat, now listen carefully once I'm bout to start fighting again you start running towards where the two servants arrived, you'll meet a boy and a girl about my age, tell them Hikigaya sent you, oh also say to the boy castling he'll hopefully understand"

"What about Sella and Leysritt?"
Asked Illya worried.

"I'll protect them... and then have Flat-chest weave my praises, ahhaha that'll be fun... ehm you know what? Just go when the round two begins"

"And when is this supposed second round supposed to begin"

"Your speech is repetitive"

"..."

"Well I guess when he launches a preventive attack, and then we are both ready to break each other's bones"
I said in the same moment a thin arc of fire darted above us.

"Speaking of the devil"
I thought raising what remained of my cigarette to lit it once again.

Ding ding match two.

"Yo, Demon-Homunculus-Master-san, here to continue?"
I greeted my opponent stepping away from Einzbern.

"Actually I'd be fairly propens to just go home, of course if you peacefully handed over to me Illyasviel von Einzbern"
He said slowly walking toward me holding in one hand a red and black crystal-like sword.

Hooray this mini-boss had another phase... How lucky.

"Given how you tried to roast her a few minutes ago...no, you know I don't like grilled lolis."
I retorted blowing some smoke towards the homunculus.

He looked way more human than in our first round: his horns, fangs and claws were way smaller now and his eyes were a lot more clear. It was like the last scorching blow I landed on his face restored his sanity...Nah it was probably the sword.
Still why wasn't his face burned to a crisp? He kept looking awesome... how unfair.

"Yeah...nobody likes grilled lolis. Ehm how can I say I messed up. Used a new power, followed a voice's bad advises and stuff."
Told me the homunculus very informal, it was almost like he knew me.

Oh wait I knew he knew me!

But did he know, that I knew that he knew?!

This is getting confusing.

"Have you got everything out of your system?"
I asked condescending trying to test how susceptible he was.

"Probably."

Ok It didn't work this guy was like Emiya with girls: He didn't take a hint!

"Can we like introduce ourselves, and return to fight? Tomorrow I'm planning to re-watch Trigun and I'd like to start early, so the fastest we get this over with the better"
He said emotionless raising... fairly reasonable points.

"Oh, I didn't think you were a man of culture, I'm genuinely surprised"
I gasped blinking several times... Didn't see that one coming.

He in respond breathed deeply, stared in my eyes and said emotionless.
"There again only because I'm an homunculus I can't have any interests. You damn racist"

"Wohoho slow down, I was just making a random comment without any racial prejudice."
Damn I was feeling guilty, I was losing the psychologic warfare.

"...it was a joke... I know you weren't"

Ara?

"Were you being sarcastic?"

"yes, was not evident? I believed I've attained mastery over my "it's a joke smile""
He blinked confused.

"Dude...your mouth remained a straight line"

"...uh... the nerves aren't responding.. even though I used a regenerative gem just now...that's not good... "

"No good indeed!"

"Oh God... my wife is going to kill me if I stop smiling in pictures!"

"Tsk...Sucks to be you mate."

"... I know..."

"Listen...let's just...uh shall we do the introduction thing or just start battling again."
I said trying to create an opportunity to launch my newly invented plan that guess what started the moment me and this guy started fighting while Einzbern ran away.

"Fine, fine, risking severe injuries will help distracting me from this mess"
He said planting his sword on the ground and stretching his neck.

"Brat if you feel like running now's the moment"
I whispered to Illya realizing this was the perfect moment to actuate my back-up plan known as "survive this evening without anyone dying".

Now my first plan would have been better but thanks to someone ehemehem fucking Assassin servant, I had to come up with something new on the spot, and the success rate might have been a little lower.

"Okay"
She agreed in low voice.

Without hesitation she pushed her feet on the ground and started running. It would have been kind of cute if not for the burnt clothes and the other blood stains... Einzbern looked like a secondary character of some trashy horror movie.

But then... nothing happened she just kept moving further and further away.

"Uh you're letting her go like that?"
I asked totally clueless to Sieg while he kept doing his stretching.

"Yes, she was just a bait to make me show an opening and let you shoot me with the gun you keep in that coat of yours. It's very pretty by the way. I bet you also told her something misteryous make her think you had a different plan. Don't worry it would have worked 9 times out of 10, but here I can still take as hostages her maids and I expected some rotten trick from you Hikigaya Hachiman... so you can say"

"You saw that coming"

"Precisely. Now here me out there are two options for you: 1 we can waste energies and fight until Assassin comes back or I defeat you. 2 You can get away."
Said Sieg pointing his ominous sword at me.

"You sound awfully confident your servant will survive a 3 vs 1"
I retorted intrigued by this homunculus.

He seemed emotionless yet he made jokes and apparently had a wife. He should only act through logic, but believed in his servant incredibly. But most importantly... wait he had a wife?! Can Homunculi can feel any carnal or sentimental desire to push them to find a partner? Sure as far as I knew an homunculus has like zero defences against carnal pleasure so they are... Sluts... but really a 3D WIFE?

"What's this guy's deal?"
I thought widening my dead eyes.

"Ah ah ah... if Assassin has lured three servants behind him he has got a plan"

"Oh I did have plan too... look! It's still running away"
I deadpanned pointing at Illya.

"...Yeah but as I already told you I saw that coming Hikigaya Hachiman"

"Oh right how stupid of mine forget it... Well it seems I have to solve this the ol' way"
I retorted to the homunculus clicking my neck.
"And then discover how much you know about me Sieg-san"

"...you know my name"

"Didn't see this one coming"

"No... I didn't see it at all"

Sieg and I kept exchanging glares, the tension between us could be cut with a knife, both of us were definitely aware of how dangerous the we could be for one another; so to be the better man I threw far above my head all my six black keys handles and said.
"I lay the situation clear, you're out of energy, I'm out of energy, but I'm going to all out from now on. And if you're half as smart as I believe, you know you won't beat me unless you do the same"

"...My mana reserves are way wider than yours why couldn't I just stall the game and let you waste all your power?"
He asked sharpening his eyes.

"Because we both know you're going to break down soon."

"..."

"I don't know what power are you using, but you're borrowing it from somewhere and using your body as a catalyst, the sword is now mitigating the effect, but I can tell you're going to collapse soon"
I faked a smile since my suppositions were like, totally baseless.

I only counted on the fact no idiot in the world would mix dragon dna and human one while making an homunculus. With that being said, Sieg must have been using some really dangerous artifact. Also if I count we have been fighting for a several minutes already and he must have had quite the match with Einzbern and Berserk: or he was going to collapse soon enough or the dragonic thingy he was using had already merged with his soul and all the energy he has used so far was the excess product of said merging.

"...wait a minute so or this fight is pretty suicidal or is very suicidal"
I thought maintaining a straight face for miracle.

"pff. ah ah ah ah ah ahah... you're really Hikigaya Hachiman"
Laughed awkwardly Sieg raising his sword towards the sky.
"Then this will be an all out fight, but to be clear, since you have reinforces incoming I'll beat you so badly they'll be forced to retire, please don't blame if you lose one arm."

"Right back at you"
I hissed poisonous as the black keys were falling down against me.

"RHAAAAAAA!"
"RHAAAAAAA!"
Releasing a war cry we flared our power.

Blue bolts of mana sourced from thousands of points in my body, they moved to catch the six black keys that surrounded me and then massive amounts of holy metal wires started to appear forming a cluster, no a spider web around me.

It was time to step up the game.

... uhm where should I start to explain what I was doing?

Probably from the beginning.

Spider web magic circuits: an ultra ramification of normal magic circuits that causes their subsequent massive expansions and lack in quality.
That was the book definition of what most people would call my personal curse; a terrible mutation that turned all the efforts of my magical bloodline in worthless crap.
I soon realized that when it came to magecraft, for everything I needed twice the time to achieve half the results of anybody else, and it truly sucked, yet after years and years of training I discovered some nifty and unique techniques available only for the likes of mine.

Manipulating the holy steel I placed the six black keys on my skin in different places of my body, then the metal that they poured in exchange for my mana ran on my fists and forearms to form two long gauntlets. Thin wires moved under my clothes and covered like a net: my spine, neck, chest, arms and legs, even my shoes got reinforced by a silverish layer of magic metal.
This armor like strategy was the same I implemented against Lancer: envelope myself in my own power to boost my mobility and defence. Usually I used my black smoke because it was easier to use, more powerful and versatile, but on the short term black keys cost less in mana terms, so it was okay.

In the same time I got ready, Sieg's whole body got surrounded by a magic circle while all his demonic features disappeared in red lightnings that got absorbed by his red and black crystal like sword. He had probably stopped to use his body as a lightning rod for that crimson energy and condensed all the power he could in the sword before cutting the supply line. Smart he stored a lot of energy and stopped to have his mind corrupted.

"Mind becomes clearer, but his fight potential remain bound to the sword, I disarm him I win"
I thought staring at the homunculus...gosh he was insane! now I understood why Archer couldn't tell if he was a servant or not.

"Done with your preparations?"
I asked creating metal spikes on my knuckles.

"Sure"
Retorted Sieg making his sword shine like a burning ember.

"High level mana compression you avoid wasting energy in heat and remain with pure crimson magic... Impressive Sieg-san. You must be very experienced in mana transferring"

"You have NO idea... so many beds broken"

"Pardon?"

"Nothing, you on the other hand...uh a black key's full covering, only a person with experience and spider web circuits could attempt something like this without ending up in a metal coffin Hikigaya. Does it have name?"

"I don't think it deserves a name, just know that in this form.
My body is made out of swords."

( Karada wa tsurugi de dekiteiru )

"Ominous"

"Half of its charm"

"What's the other half?"

"You're about to know"

Boooommmmmmmmmmmmm.

Leaving a sonic boom behind, Sieg and I dashed towards each other, earth scattered around. A blink of an eye and we were face to face. Our stares crossed. Then it began: a restless storm of fists and slashes.

"Keep the power flowing Hachiman"
I thought struggling to avoid my magic circuits fried.

Letting my mana flow along with my body, I used my holy steel armor to transcend human limits, punching, kicking and dodging faster than the beat of a hummingbird's wings. Sieg however was no less impressive, enchanting only his junctures and brain he managed to keep up with my newfound speed trying to use the advantages of his longer weapon.

Unlike our first round the physical differences were slimmer, but so were the mental ones. Sieg and I still couldn't land a blow against each other, yet this time around the air wasn't tored apart by the screams of our blow clashing. On contrary the whole area was absorbed in spectral silence; only the the sound of our breaths and movements could be heard as we kept chasing each other's residual image.

Up, down, left, left, right, down.
Apparently we could anticipate each other's all moves uh?
But what about.
Down, right left, left, down, up.
Okay all moves still anticipated... time to play dirty.

I manipulating the black keys on my legs, I jumped back leaving a hole in the ground; in mid air produced two long metal quills.
"Rgh"
And with an half assetted grunt I threw them against Sieg.

"Fucker"
Grunted the homunculus studying my attack.

He immediately lowered his stance in order to have more balance and slashed both of them with his great sword. A scorching arc erupted out of the crystal like blade, still before the magical weapon could even reach my quills they split up and enclosed the sword's blade in a steel vice.

I knew he was going to break through that attack, and actually I counted on that.

"Programmed magecraft"
Muttered astonished Sieg while metal hooks shot out from my sword handcuff grounding the great blade.

"FUAHHHRRRG"
Landing from my jump I instantly dashed back towards Sieg.

Hands, feet, I used both of them like an Olympic gymnast to charge power. Focusing my mana in the two black keys' handle I had hidden on my legs, I performed five front handsprings leaving behind a blue trail of power. Once I was close enough I pushed myself in the air with my arms and directed my right heel at Sieg as a holy blade a meter long enveloped my leg.

I like a snake on his prey I brought down my blade, leaving only a whistle and blue line behind. I was going to severe Sieg's connection with his sword, and maybe an arm of two if he was stubborn.

Still before I could connect.

"Morgendämmerung des Drachen"
(Dawn of the dragon)

The homunculus flared his crimson magic enveloping himself with a giant dragon head.

The sword handcuffs got smashed into bits and my blade stopped by the phantasmal jaws of the dragon head.
"Too much extra effort. You're really new to this power, you're more used to quick and explosive magecraft than constructive one"
I commented ejecting my leg blade to push myself away from the homunculus.

"Yes I've started tonight"
Responded Sieg letting his crystal sword re-absorb the red power.

The blade I left there started to fall, however before it touched the ground Sieg began cutting hit in tiny pieces with his sword.
"but I'm a quick learner"

As he said that all the shards that composed my leg blade got enveloped in ruby like crystals, they hung in the air for a second and then flew at me at absurd speed.

"THIS'S WAY BEYOND QUICK LEARNING!"
I thought joining my hands to prayer.

The metal around my forearms spreaded to form a round shield with a diameter of six feet.

*trtrtrtrtrtrtrtrtrtrtrt

Around two dozens of crystals slammed against my shield before bouncing all over the place. Rapidly me and my dented shield found ourselves taken from behind by crimson stars, still no matter how pretty it appeared I immediately sensed something was off. Barely the time to convert my shield in two arm blades and all the rubies blossomed like lotuses shooting the shards inside them.

An attack inside an attack!

Breathing as much air as I could I spinned myself and began to slash, slash and slash down all the metal projectiles leaving Sieg's rubies.

*Tintintintitintintintintititn
Azure arcs of mana followed my hand swords' edges I was truly become one with the blades.

Still I suddenly felt a presence charging silently behind me and then everything became clear.
"It was a decoy!"
I thought forcing my body to turn back.

*THWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

My eyes filled with Sieg's red-black sword.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Roared the homunculus letting out all his raw strength out to slam down his broad blade.
"DHAAAAAAAAAAA"
I shouted back keeping crossed my hand swords to parry the blow.

The ground beneath me shattered, I fell on my knees under all that power and I finally got too see Sieg's eyes again.
They were shining like fire and I could tell it.

He was having fun.

Why you ask?

Because I was enjoying myself too.

Breaking out a mad grin I spit on the homunculus' right eye what remained of my still lit cigarette. Out of reflex he closed his eyes letting the burning tobacco left overs only parch his eyelid. Sieg lost his concentration and strength giving me the time to regain footing and push him several meters back.

"You know the smoke is bad for your health"
I snorted converting my arm blades in daggers and assuming my usual fighting stance.

"Hikigaya, not even after nearly scorching my retina my eyes would be as ugly as yours"
Hissed the artificial human scratching his eye while his crystal sword shined ominous.

Uuuuuuu this guy knew how to talk me back... I seriously needed to beat the living shit out of him.

"You fight well for a flesh bag who taught you to"
I asked REALLY struggling to avoid start shooting metal blades until the homunculus looked like pincushions.

"An old relic always ready to complain about my excessively high grades in math."

"IIIIIII... I don't see any logical reason why something like that would happen"
I rose an eyebrow definitely lost.

Sieg used Oroboro's fighting style, but out of 300 Oroboro's executive none was over his 30's and none would complain/ care about school.

"ah... seven years and still no answers"
Mummbled the homunculus leaving me more WTF than ever. If I was lost before now I was tied and blindfolded in the back of a van. Not a funny experience I can assure you.

"This Master of yours sounds like a douche"
I voiced my opinion.

"...the greatest of all of them"
Nodded Sieg dropping his neck excessively down.
"But he taught me many things"
Added the homunculus flaring his magic.

"and what would they be?"
I did the same.

"oh too many to list, but the most important one is "Don't waste time"
Having said that Sieg bent his knees while his eyes began to scan all the zone.

Jumping points, natural obstacles, I could see him process all those data in a blink of an eye, apparently he wanted to resolve everything with a running fight. However I couldn't see why. With my armor I had the edge in mobility and agility, Sieg however with his large sword was going to be way less efficient in continous movements.

"...he has a plan... and he must have figured out how to cancel my armor by now"
I thought throwing a quick stare to the two unconscious homunculi behind my back.

What was going through that artificial brain? Was he trying to take hostages? Direct me in some booby trapped zone?

I didn't know what to think. But then I saw three people in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"..shit"
I muttered while Sieg stared at me with challenging gaze.

"You know what people say Hikigaya? Keep friends close, enemy closer, and incompetents as far as you can"

The only thing I saw after he pronounced those words was a red line dashing towards Emiya, Tohsaka, and Einzber.

"Mother-"

"Tohsaka, last twenty steps!"

"O-oh God, I can feel my lungs killing me from the inside"

"Com'on don't give up"

"I can't tell when my skin end and the sweat begins arf arf...Emiya-kun... catch me"

"AH! Don't drop limp just like that...*diving teenager sounds...fuuu by a hair"

"Thanks, I *arf I need a moment to rest"

"Okay don't worry, now just focus on breathin-. Is that a tiny girl running towards us"

"*glance...yes..."

"What do we do?"

"...yes"

"Dammit Tohsaka! Uh hello there little girl"

"...*arf... arf..Hiki-arf Hikigaya sent me... he said castling"

"..uh? Castling?"

"-Fucker"
Pushing my legs to their breaking point, I chased after Sieg.

Cold air slashed across my face, and unconsciously I bit my lower lips until It started bleeding.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit! Tonight nothing went as I planned!"
I thought closing distances with the Homunculus coated in a scarlet aura.

Everything was just so wrong. Assassin and Sieg were factors way more unpredictable than I thought. I cpuldn't plan against them they always were a step in front of me; Sieg didn't fall for my Einzbern bait and now I had to avoid Emiya and Tohsaka got injured too, Assassin made use of my plan to lure away Berserker and strip me of a powerful ally.

They could read me far better than I believed possible, and I was able to imagine only three things that could lead to such situation...let me tell you, all of them freaked the hell out of me.

" RHHAAAAAAAAAAAA"
With one last desperate effort I threw my steel dagger at the homunculus who was...Naruto running?

I aimed at his cervical... it was an attack meant to severe nerve joints... an attack to make my opponent, Sieg, tertaplegic forever. In my life had done something like this exactly three times and it has always been awful. I had burn into my eyes their glassy stare as the perceptions of their limbs faded.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures"
I repeted myself while my silverish blade travelled towards the homuculus.

I didn't want to watch, I didn't want to see myself ruining another life. But I had made that choice, I had to see through the end and accept whatever will come out of it.

I stopped breathing.

My dagger came closer to Sieg's neck, and then it pierced through.
*Thiiiiiiiinnnnn
It pierced through a crimson crystal...

"WHAT?"
I gasped.

The homunculus a moment before he got stabbed, summoned a ruby fang big as man from the ground and used it as a ramp!

Like a dolphin breaking out from the water Sieg back flipped on his crystal; His face was calm, his eyes of crimson stone and his sword shining of raging power.

"He outsmarted me. He dashed away the only moment I couldn't draw my gun quickly enough, and put me in a spot where I couldn't get time to reflect"
I thought realizing how easily I had fallen for his trap.

Damn I was rusty... Years of overly planned missions and high level tactical support had weakned my battle senses.

What happened after was too fast for me to react properly; Sieg flew like a red comet above my head whispering.

"Roar, guardian dragon"

He landed behind me skewering in the ground his sword, and then everything became a mad jungle of red crystals.

"Nothung"

Situation
Hateful
Incredibly
Troublesome

Otherwise known as S.H.I.T.

Yup there was a massive S.H.I.T. around me, and not a common S.H.I.T. oh no no no no my luck wasn't that good.
A Noble Phantasm S.H.I.T. named Nothung, The cursed sword from the ring of the Nibelungs. A weapon worthy of a servant, but most importantly a weapon aimed at me!

"How the hell did he managed to get that sword"
I thought while countless crimson spikes rose from the ground aiming at me.

Realizing how badly I was going to get skewered, panic filled my throat, even with my metallic armor there was no way I could handle so much damage at once. The only option I had here was to send in overdrive all the black keys, drying up all my power and somehow protect my vitals.

"If I use all the keys I'll remain defenseless, and I bet Sieg didn't pour all his strength in this attack... yes... it must be a D level Phanstasm at best. A mere drop of that sword's power"
I told myself studying the red spikes' pattern.

In a few instants I divided the ground around me in sectors, A,B, C etc.

3 crystals from sector D, 2 from sector A, 1 from sector C and so on: at first it seemed they popped out causally and that all their ramification were random, yet under the desperate desire of saving my sweet ass, I realized the crystals didn't grow casually at all.

"Sector E 5, sector B 3..Yes!"
I could predict where the crystals where going to appear, I knew their pattern...they followed the basic algorithm of creation magecrafts.

God the Homunculus had really began using this power tonight. Changing the manifestation pattern of any wide area spell from any kind of creation magecraft was the basic of the basic; Really lesson one "focusing and spreading"

"if that crystal in sector F goes there and the other three in sector G in those points...I can survive using only 4 black keys, I just have to hope that crystal at my left barely out of the control grid won't grow more than 28 centimeters... Or now or never "

black keys overdrive quam chrysallidem
(chrysalis)

Short sad story; I managed to shoot around myself four black keys and force the magical metal to protect me, however that crystal... the one at my left...ugh... grew of 29 centimeters.

So... Now I had two belly buttons...and one was several times larger than the other.

"RHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

With a scream that lacerated my throat I was propelled backwards enveloped in a cloud of crystals, metal and wooden shards. I felt my stomach on fire and in the meantime crimson lines began spreading all over my belly starting from where I got injured.

Dragonic curse!

My mouth was filled by hot blood and all my magic circuits were randomly turning on and off. I couldn't see a thing just the scarlet jaws I barely escaped from.
gha..
I tried to breathe but I only managed to choke with my own blood.

Ugh! No... No it couldn't end like this... I had to land on my feet, I had to return fighting now that Sieg had just unleashed a powerful attack.

"Now that he's going to show an opening."
I mumbled on the verge of fainting.

Dammit I needed air! Calling forth to all my will power I manipulated the black key left to protect my neck like a collar, I created two thin tubes to pierce into my trachea, immediately two gushes of blood came out, but luckily now I could breath freely.
"aaaaahhhhh"
I spitted away the blood left in my mouth.

"Okay"
I thought.
"Now feet on the ground black key used to protect spine in han-#!"

Before I got to end my list of good intentions, the ground reminded me that reality doesn't wait for cool lines, or anything else.

*crack
The sudden impact with mother earth dislocated my left shoulder, a painful blaze shoked my whole body, I wanted to scream, tear the air with my voice, however all the air never reached my vocal cords, it came out from the holy metal tubes. so the only thing that came out was a dry gasp.
"hhggghhh"

It was over... I had lost.
It was question of seconds before I passed and all my efforts got trashed away, most likely Emiya and Tohsaka were going to get out of here unharmed, but Einzbern...Flat-chest... and Leyswhatever were done for.
I didn't manage to protect them.

My vision blurred, I wanted to close my eyes, yeah close my eyes, I truly needed some sleep to forget this horrible evening.
"Uhmmhmmm. This is what always happens when... I make...rushed...decisions"
I told myself, sealing the two tubes before losing consciousness.

"Ah Hikigaya!"
correction nearly losing consciousness because Emiya's voice had to called me out from my reflexive pause.

"EMIYA YOU'RE NOISY GODDAMIT I'M HAVING A MOMENT WITH MYSELF, SHUT UP!"
I screamed snapping my eyes open.

"Ah! Well fuck you too, I'm sorry for worrying about your crazy self after you crushed near us with a hole in the stomach"
Rebuked the red haired teenager staring me from above.

Nuuu this was humiliating I was unable to stand up while Emiya could assist in the first row.

"...Is he still alive"
"Given how much he was screaming definitely is"

Oh perfect there were also Einzbern and Tohsaka, Ugh now I had to say "everybody run" or something like this showing how all my plans had gone up in smoke.
"Oh you three are all here good, now run."
I said calm moving my neck.

AH THE METAL WAS COOOOLD!

"Uh what?"
Asked the usual genius, Emiya.

"Yes Emiya running, that funny action you do with your legs...rrrrhhaaa"
I retorted trying to suppress a painful shock coming from my chest.

"Listen, I couldn't defeat that Master over there...so please...run"
I grunted struggling to reach a sitting position.

"Run...run of course!"
Exclaimed Emiya drawing from his pocket the dagger I gave him.

Uh? What was going on?.

"Trace on...The move where the tower rushes in the place of the king"

No really, what the hell! Why Emiya was describing the castling move...Oh Christ.

"Castling"

"Emiya, no I meant run a-"

"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"-way"

Looking at Emiya charging like an idiot towards an opponent he didn't have the minimum chance of defeating, I could only think two things.
"NOT"
"AGAIN"

Why? Why in the bloody hell that freaking retarded couldn't understand the implied "away" when I ordered him to run.

"That idiot"
I rasped standing up, only to fall again on my knees.

Shit my shoulder was in the wrong place... I had to fix it...

"Uh Thank God, Oroboro's training program impose to have everybody watch Lethal Weapon"
I thought slamming my shoulder on the ground.

*CRACK!

"Don't overstrain yourself"
Squeaked Einzbern rushing at my side cheching my newly fixed shoulder.

"Ugh Dammit, Tohsaka please stop Emiya do something, anything, that Master over here is not someone he can deal with"
I begged starring the twin tailed magus intent to bite off a toy watch made of green plastic from her wrist... was that thing was on some weird reddish stain or it was just me?

"Tohsaka OI! Don't ignore me and stop playing with that toy"
I grunted trying to get her attention while Sieg had noticed Emiya approaching.

"Relax, we have at least five minutes look the other Master is underestimating him"
Replied the girl.

Underestimating? Underestimating! It was a miracle Emiya survived this long, none was underestimating anybody!

"a massacre is coming"
I thought looking at the two Masters.

Before me, with a nearly lazy movement, Sieg discarded his sword and dashed towards Emiya bare-handed. The homunculus stance was tired but his eyes were clear and focused, he drawed Emiya's attention making glow his left while he prepared to strike with his right one.
I could see it a fist aimed at the forearm: basic defensive move of Tiānguó zhī hé de quántóu. One hit and CRACK! Emiya's arm was broken in two and the dagger in Sieg's hand.

I wanted to scream Emiya to look out, but my voice died as I saw my dagger invaded by bluish lines and caught a glimpse of my landlord's eyes. He knew it was a feint.

*FHUM
Tearing the air Sieg's fist pointed at Emiya's arm, yet.
*dodge
Emiya actually dodged the arm breaking blow by spinning on a heel and sweeping aside the homuculus.

Sieg and I spreaded our eyes until they nearly bursted out of our skulls, while the red haired teenager caught this moment to attempt a stab on the homunculus shoulder.

Reacting to the danger Sieg's instincts kicked into gear and stopped the dagger's blade between his medium and ring, but not even this movie like move helped him as emiya landed a solid kick on his face.

"What the..."

"I told you Hikigaya, Shiro's been understimated."

"Okay first what the fuck, second what the actual FUCK! Third Shiro? Fourth Really what happened? Fifth STOP BITING THAT THING ITS DISGUSTING."
I said without mving my eyes from Shiro..,ehm wow that felt gross, from Emiya and the homunculus.

It was astounishing the red haried teenager was actually holding his ground against Sieg's martial arts; His stance and footwork were flawless, it was almost like he had practiced against a mirror for 10 years. And yes I say a mirror because Emiya was clearly not used to fight. Don't get me wrong it was a miracle the how he kept dodging and anticipating the various blows, but he remained too much on the defensive, his bladeplay was staright-up poor and his moves way too repetitive: Basically he was some noob playing Tekken that kept spamming the same base combo.

"Emiya had the initial surprise effect and Sieg has the post-Hikki effect, but this is getting ridiculus"
I thought looking Sieg divert Emiya's dagger with the back of his hand, and then push my land lord away with a powerful punch on the ribs.

That idiot won't last more than three minutes. Tohsaka. Answers. Now."
I incited my classmate ignoring another painful jolt from my belly.

"I don't know what to tell you exactly. After you jumped away Assassin attacked... but I suppose that was part of your plan"

"...In my defense I didn't believe any servant would dare to attack Archer and Saber like that."

"...God it was really part of your plan...you're a fucking sociopath!"

"Tohsaka focus. You can take the ticket for the list of who wants to punch me once we are done here"
I retored emotionless looking at Emiya trying to cut Sieg's forearms.

I knew those movements, Emiya was moving just like me... if I was retarded and high as balls... but yes the moves Emiya was using were indeed all mine.

"The question doesn't end here Hikigaya. Anyway Assassin started shooting with some kind of rifle, he managed to slightly injure Archer, then he stuck on my wrist this watch and attacked Saber; she had just moved to protect Shiro and couldn't swing her sword properly without getting him hurt, Assassin noticed that and went for the throat with a pink sword"

"Please don't tell me Emiya meat shielded her"

"..."

"OH Com'on!"

"He threw himself in front of the sword, but he parried the strike with the dagger you gave him and exchanged enough blows with Assassin to let Saber and Archer re-group."

"How?"

"I don't know, he said something along the lines of: it's not me using the dagger, it's the dagger that's using me. The mayor problem was that Assassin told us this clock was a bomb and it would detonate unless I did 10000 in five minutes or he gave a remote signal. He began running chased by Saber and Archer, haven't seen them since"

Hearing those words... I blinked... and blinked again.

"You fell for his bluff"
I deadpanned so hard my face could be put in a dictionary instead of the word deadpan.

"WHICH BLUFF! This thing emits mana and is sticked to my arm"
Retorted Tohsaka blushing in a mad rage.

"THERE IS WRITTEN MADE IN CHINA ON THAT PLASTIC THING!"
I said exasperated, wasn't this girl supposed to be smart

"What?"

"Look on the side there is written :"Boom Boom clock" made in cina"

"Maybe it started as a toy but I repeat It's sticked to my wrist and has a mana signature"

"Oh for fuck's sake, smell the watch"

"what?"

"Smell the damn watch"

*sniff

"This is..."

"Blood and glue, basic trick of relics fraud. Blood release mana, glue corrupt blood's identification and it stick, that thing is harmless and probably have been made less than an half hour ago"
I said patting away Einzbern.

"He fooled me"
Gasped Tohsaka while her face froze.

"He didn't want to fool you, he wanted to trick Archer and Saber"
I stated moving from the spine to my hand one of the two black keys I had left.

"But why? Assassin grouped together Archer, Saber and Berserker he can't beat them alone"
Whispered Einzbern.

"Unless he has allies"
Responded Rin Tohsaka staring at her command seals.
She was pondering if summoning back Archer or not.

"No... no it can't be, the whole battle between Assassin, the other Master right there ,Sieg, and I started casually."

"Are you sure brat? Can you tell me you are 100% sure he won't have any allies?"

"...don't call me brat,*mumble* creep *mumble*... I mean no.. I can't be sure"

"Well, we assume he has allies. Don't summon back your servants, it could turn this whole situation in a one sided massacre, if you can, just tell them not to get past Fuyuki's central station."
I commanded building up what little mana I had left.

Summon a servant back in this precise moment would be too great of a gamble: I had no guarantee the servants left behind won't be ambushed or that once Sieg had been defeated by Archer or Berserker, their respective Master won't try something funny to eliminate another contestant in this war.

And to avoid the idea even crossed their minds I had to immediately sway their attention.
"What about Assassin any idea about his identity, have you seen his stats?"
I asked starting to seal the hole in my belly with holy metal.

Hearing my words the two girls immediately shocked and their eyes glittered in a mix of surprise, curiosity, disgust and excitement.

Fun trivia; the combination of an intellectual challenge and gore is the perfect method to distract a Magus.

"ah easy like staring at Yuigahama's yuigahamas...God remove this shit is going to hurt"
I thought while tiny blades sewed my skin together.

"I didn't have the time to check them, Einzbern, you have seen Assassin longer, did you get any of them?"
Asked the twin tailed Magus.

"I managed to see them, but every single stat seemed wrong... they were all too... average. In regard of his identity I wouldn't put my finger anywhere, he seemed Asiatic, however he kept using modern tools or other things that to my knowledge don't belong to any mythology"
Retorted the tiny girl leaving two grave thoughts in my mind.

1 Assassin could have been a servant born within the last 50 years.
2 Assassin had already been in this time long enough to adapt to current technology.

The second one was more likely, but it was also the most worrying. I didn't want to deal with an heroic spirit that understand how explosives works!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
A blazing explosion roared in Fuyuki.

Still if the truthful hypothesis were to be the first one... I had exactly 27 suspects.

"... Assassin might be a snake..."
I whispered pushing myself back on my feet.

"A snake?"
Said Einzbern slightly tilting her head; it was kind of precious how she managed to look so child-like even with her clothes burned and stained of blood.

"Hikigaya, what are you saying"

"Nothing... just talking with myself..."
I grunted to the two girls shifiting my attention on Emiya and Sieg.

From the moment I had lost my focus on the fight of the two masters, the situation had progressively got worse, as I had predicted Sieg had quickly adapted to the amateurish blade-play of Emiya. The red haired teenager that at first managed to even land a few blows now was barely holding up against the homunculus; various bruises painted all the face of my landlord while his overall foot-work and stance had become a terrible imitation of what they have been.

"Tohsaka do you have a clear shot with any of your spells"
I asked after Emiya received a hard blow on his ribs.

"No, I might end up hitting Emiya-kun"

"Didn't you started calling him shiro? Uh FOCUS HACHIMAN FOCUS. Einzbern same question do you have a clear shot?"
I questioned the other magus present after nearly losing myself in a trashy sub-plot.

"nothing quick enough to be useful"

Perfect these two were useless!

"dammit I hate dealing with this stuff..."
I sighed leaving them confused.

"fuuu"
I Closed my eyes for a moment, *thun and for a blissful instant *thun the beat of my own heart was the only thing that mattered.

Sharp

Understanding my will the black key on my neck flowed on my right hand, while the other on my left one started to pour out little amounts of holy metal.

Lethal

In a few seconds three thin blades formed in my left hand and on each of them a complicate pattern of runes covered their surface.

"...I really hope this one is the right pre-casted code"
I thought opening my eyes again.

However after I returned to stare the outer world, I was immediately tempted to close them back. Why you ask? Well becuase in the time of what? 30 seconds? Emiya's situation had gotten even worse than before.

At this point Sieg was simply overwhelming my landlord, he saw through any move Emiya might have attempted to make and even the slightest opening was enough for him to land some hard blows.

Like right now! Emiya's guard was off of a few centimeters.

*punch
"Ugh!"
*kick
"GHA!"
*headbutt
"Christ"

Uh three consecutive strikes that must have hurt!

"Hikigaya throw those damn things, Shiro is getting crushed"
Roared Tohsaka in an emotional rush of worry and anger... pretty sure Emya caused the first emotion and I the second one.

"Not yet"
I whispered back emotionless as Emiya suffered other six blows to his joints.

Luckily enough Sieg wasn't trying to kill him, but every single hit was meant to damage bones and tendons... probably now Emiya was just standing out of will power.

"...AH I'm going"
Shouted Tohsaka unable to keep looking that one sided massacre.

Fucking teenagers. Without any hesitation I forthwith sent my elbow crushing on the twin tailed magus nose.
*crack
"AH!"
A gush of blood came out from her nose while she fell on the ground.

"Do. Not. Move. Your. Ass. Get again in my aim line and I break your ankle next time"
I grunted as menacing as I could without bothering to look at her. I already knew how spite looked like.

But I didn't care.

"If you want emotional decisions don't do it when it will get yourself killed... If you can't stand something close your eyes, if you can't look Emiya suffering move your gaze away and if you can't stand that idiot dying do not get in my aim line."

If I had to be the bad guy to achieve the best result.

"Now fall back and prepare your best defensive spell, same goes for you Einzbern if that freak decide to use another spell of of high magnitude we're screwed"

I wouldn't mind become all the world evil.

"..."

Still.

"I know you don't trust me"

Just being the bad guy won't ever be enough.

"I know that right now I'm the dangerous unknown"

I learned that at dear precise, much more times than I wanted.

"but just this once believe me "

Sovereigns wish to be loved or feared.

"because"

I don't.

"I'm going to believe in you"

I wish to understand and be understood.

"my life is in your hands"

I wish to trust and be trusted.

Twisting my muscles with all the power possible, I threw the blades in the exact moment Sieg had finally pushed Emiya on the ground.

Three bluish arc painted the night as I kicked the ground with all the strength I had left. The cold metal that sealed my belly and throat made me shiver, however it was those chills that kept my mind clear as I got closer to Emiya and Sieg step after step.

And now it was all or nothing.

"Emiya scheme forty six"
I shouted doing a terrible act of faith.

I was throwing away my surprise effect and a lot of precious air to make a bet: Emiya had been able to extract memories from my dagger, but how deep was this process?
Well I was about to discover it the hard way.
Upon hearing my words Emiya's golden eyes half covered in blood widened, I couldn't tell if it was a good or a bad sign, yet at this point I could only hope for the best and convey one last message moving my lips:

I trust you

To be fair I wasn't sure Emiya was able to lip read, but after his eyes nearly popped out of his skull, and he performed an half assetted nod... I got my answer.

"Oh I'm going to regret this."

With their sharp whistles my blades caught Sieg's attention making him immediately jump away from their trajectories.
*THIIIN THIN THINNNN
The three sharp pieces of metal sunk in the ground tracing a sliver line between the two Masters; now I had the second I needed to start the scheme 46 otherwise known as the "Who the hell thought this thing it's crazy! Let's never add it to the schemes list even if it means go from 45 to 47". What can I tell? Extreme times require extreme solutions and given Sieg's training I supposed this one... was the only maneuver he wouldn't know.

With a wide jump I reached Emiya. He outstretched one arm. Our stares crossed. Gold and silver irises mirrored one...then I grabbed my landlord's hand and threw him like an oversized olympic hammer.

"EMIYA GO!"

Gasping a surprised
"what the He-"
Sieg barely ducked under a flying teenager armed with dagger.

Ahaha scheme 46 a very bad idea that consisted in throwing an ally at the enemy ,hoping he doesn't get sliced, shoot, punched or abused (yeah the crush test of this scheme were quite a show) and then begin a two sided assault.
Needless to say it was 9 out of 10 suicidal... but this one time, that damn 9 could screw up itself.

After surpassing Sieg, Emiya landed perfectly and in the blink of an eye he charged at the homunculus.
"IT'S ACTUALLY WORKING!"
I mentally screamed doing the same rising my metal covered fists.

We had caught in a vice Sieg, we got the high ground now there was one thing left to do... beat the crap out of him.

(8man)"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA"

(weebmunculus) "MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA"

(normie) "...what are shouting these two"

In a mad rush of punches, kicks and slashes Emiya and I engaged Sieg in a merciless assault. Finally we managed to land some hits on the homunculus, sure none of our blows was a winning one, but it was only question of time: he was tired and unable to move away.

Or so I dared to believe.

"Com'on harem protagonist one last push"
I thought observing and adapting to Emiya's pattern.

Neck.
Stomach.
Knee.
Hip.
Hip.
Neck.

Goddamit! He was far too naive! All those strikes could be anticipated without even looking!
No seriously, Sieg had even stopped looking at my landlord... he ducked all his damn blows like they were nothing and focused only on me.

"Stupid overtrained artificial riajuu!"
I cursed speeding up my assault.

RHAAAAAA! Scapula, ribs, trachea, sternum, trachea, humerus, other humerus, radius, patella, carotid artery; each of these body parts became a target I had to crush.

GOSH THIS DUDE'S SKILLS MADE ME FURIOUS!

...I I had a plan of course, but I truly wanted to finish the fight here without further machinations. I wanted to beat this ass and prove once for all he wasn't truly trained as an Oroboro member.

Yet he kept deflecting my blows with perfect startegy and danced through Emiya's slices like they weren't even there...

On a pure martial level Sieg was among the best foes I ever faced.

"No...Sieg's simply the best."
I realized while time slowed down.

I couldn't believe it.

"even with all the sign were in front of me."
I thought looking Sieg dodging the nth Emiya's thrust.

Levi's raw strength, Kyotaka's efficiency, Kasumi's sensibility, Ashua's speed and my ruthlessness.
All the best qualities of the most skilled fighters in Oroboro were intergrant part of this homunculus.

I could see the it clearly as he: punched Emiya's chest fracturing a few bones, avoided of a paper thin space a throat stab, striked the pressure point on my landlord's forearm to disarming him, erased his footing with a low kick and grabbed his face saying.
"Shiro Emiya, you're too implusive, inexperienced and repetitive try more low slashes"

Yup there was definitely some Hachiman in that realist senseish speech.

"Or simply give up"
*throw

"And There's a lot of Hachiman in throwing him at me!"
I metally screamed looking at my beat up lanlord flying towards me.

Projectile: Emiya Shiro (ally)
Target: me
Strategy: Dodge.
Result: Shitty harem protagonist on retreat route, possible pants revealing fall, creation of enough material for a doujin.

...
*ABORT*

New strategy: Redirect Emiya towards previously thrown blades and hope the idiot will figure out what to do once the precasted spell activate.
Result: victory 45%, loss 51%, 4% draw.

"...Ugh I should have truly renewed my life insurance"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Screamed the auburn teenager while I grabbed and tossed him away like a baket ball.

"Sorry Emiya"
I whispered as he rushed on the ground and Sieg dashed to kick my face.

Diving laterally I barely avoided to have my jaw broken. I fell in the dirt my muscles ached like there was no tomorrow in my head doubts and refelctions crowded my already oversatured mind.
At this point I was 100000% sure Sieg was like an Oroboro, but I had to ask a question. How? How was it possible he was at a level so advanced of skill. I can imagine information leaked for some reason and that someone tried to learn Ororboro's fighting style, but Sieg's skill had years of practice... the whole orgainization didn't exist until 9 years ago and all the techniques had been constantly renifed through the years.

Even if Assassin was to be... to be one of my misfits... there'd be no time to train this homunculus to such a deep extent.

"This whole situation doesn't make sense"
I thought stading up from the ground and landing an uppercut on my opponent's ribs.

"Gah!"
He coughed a bit of blood and stumbled away from me.

Christ we were both a bloody mess. It was difficult to breathe and the metal in my belly hurted, but from somewhere deep in my guts a bubbling smile surged and cracking out on my face it forced me to ask.
"Hey Sieg-san...Brat, Rookie, Ultra, or High-councilor?"

Now to overdramatize this last stattement let me explain in Oroboro there are 4 general levels:Brat, Rookie, Ultra High-councilor.

(Those with I.Q higher than 2000 have realized this system acronym is B.R.U.H.)

Brat is the ultra-base level, someone that just got scouted starts running through tests, training and reaches an univeristy degree in something, in all the mission he or she takes part to are supervisionated. Also to "level up" An entire month of training with me is required.
Rookie is the normal level, training is over, you're a full fledged member of Oroboro with tattoos and access to all facilities, missions can be done in solo.

At this point there's the jump in quality

Ultra is the experienced level, basically you're now the boss: shadow companies, facilities, operation and scouting can be run by you and with "can" I mean MOVE YOUR ASSES I WON'T PAMPER YOU FOREVER!

And then...High-councilor. To reach this level you must be the best in something, enstablish a new branch of Oroboro or wait for the councilor of your expertize area to die. It's known as the most thankless work ever.

You only get to deal with the most troublesome stuff and have to clean after an entire organization of problem children...

To summarize if Brats can organize a terroristic attack, Rookies a revolution and Ultra start the third world war... High councilors can win it.

So people on High-council levels are basically living doomstay devices.

" Technically a Brat... I never got the tattoos"
Gasped the homunculus catching breath.

"I see... and pratically?"
I grunted throwing a quick stare behind Sieg...

"Good...keep going, you're good with that thing right?"
I thought relieved since for one damn time tonight one of my plans was going to work properly.

"I'd say High-councelor"

"Aren't you overstepping a bit Sieg-san? You can put on fight, but High-councelors are not someones that can only raise their fists"
I remarked scratching my chin...Uh I needed to buy a few seconds extra.

"... first time I heard 'bout that...I always thought you guys put in power those with the most dangerous ideas"

"Wha!?... You build one vulcano base and everybody thinks you have dangerous ideas, is it my fault if the air conditioning system gets too cold and some genius decide to open a window!... So much equipment burned"

"why there was a window in the first place might be a good question?"

"Shut up! What do you know about dealing with problem childen?"

"A problem old man and wife are also valid?"

"No at best they can ask you how to use Facebook"

"Taiwan, two months ago"

"...Holy shit... that was you? How did you stuff that safe with expired cereals?"

"To be fair I'm not sure, I remember the evening, the morning and then different incriminating selfies... I guess that's what always happen when my wife gets drunk."
He shrugged like the outrageous words he just prononuced weren't his own.

This guy nearly caused an international crisis! Ara? Why was my hand going up for an high five? Stop Stop! Okay Good back in business.

"...you're by far the weirdest homunculus I have ever seen"
I stated half chukling, Nijito was right... this guy was interesting... the kind of person you'd share a tea with talk, discover his waifu is trash and start to hate forever... yeah exactly that kind of guy.

"I'll take that as a compliment"
he replied emotionless.

"Oh it is a compliment, better weird than a sentient coffee maker"

"Your sweet talk could use some work"

"So your personality"

"I wasn't supposed to have one"

"eh... dammit... you can't just use these painfully honest remarks, give me something to insult you back with"

"...why? You aren't creative enough to make new insults up"

"see that's what I'm talking about, and just to let you know I'm soo creative your shoulder will hurt like a bitch in a second."
I said pointing at the homuculus.

"Wha-*sunk AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
An arrow suddenly pierced though Sieg's left shoulder.

"Look, that in your shoulder is my creativity, the result of acting as a decoy while a fucking Riajuu took all the glory"
I said looking several meters behind the homunculus where a the bloodied and breathless teenager that was barely able to stand holding in his hand a silverish bow that randomly sent around sparks of power.

Just wow not only I had dared to use yet another cheap trick to win, but I even had to implement Emiya: the three blades I threw before were a pre-casted spell meant to become a bow and an arrow. They were my back up plan if Sieg had released some kind of spell to send me or Emiya flying during our close ranged confrontation...

God I was almost scared that I had needed the back-up plan without Sieg using some magic... Besides wasn't this guy supposed to faint? I mean he was exausted when we began fighting and now he was still going?

"THAT'S BULLSHIT, THIS DUDE IS PULLING A NAMECK HERE!"
I thought dashing towards Sieg.

All the ground shattered under my feet, in the blink of an eye reached my opponent and then with all my strength I sunk my elbow in his stomach.
"Gha..."
He gasped forcefully expelling all the air he had in his lungs.

Breathless and hurted the homunculus instictively tried to step away from me, but he was too slow. Restless as an hurricane I striked, striked and striked again the homunculus with my metal covered fists.

His clothes were tored apart, blue bruises surged on every single part of his body and countless drops of saliva and blood reached my face.

"You know why you're an Ultra at best?"
I asked landing a direct on the face.

"You lack envy, you lack fear, you lack humiliation , you lack every disgusting aspect that forces me to enter in your mind and understand why do you fight. For who do you fight. How desperate you can get. And... How ruthless you'll become... Homunculus you're strong, but that strenght never let you feel the taste of the mud"
I said smashing into bits Sieg's ribs, thick blood fell off his mouth and with just a leg swept he crushed on the ground.

(*thiiinnnn
a quiet sound escaped from Sieg's chest but I didn't bother.)

"You don't understand how's the bottom"
I whispered looking him from above, using a voice that... that was almost pitying the artificial human.

"And that's why you'll never reach the top"

fuuu* I forced the metal around my right hand to become a spike and without no more words I just thrusted it in Sieg's belly.

*waaa
With a wet sound my weapon pierced through the homunculus' guts, I expected him to scream, to attempt one last explosive spell to carbonize my arm; but instead he...
"ah aha aha"
Chukled dry.

"I don't know how the bottom is?"
Asked Sieg emotionless while his face twisted in an expression between rage and mirth.
"I have never tasted the mud?"
He asked again as all the blood on his clothes and even on my face started to glow.

"What's going on?"
I thought trying to retract my metal arm.

Yes trying, before I could break free Sieg He had grabbed my forearm. His hand had begun to carve the holy steel and his crimson eyes seemed to glow. Our stares crossed, I knew bad news were coming, yet as the homunculs started rising up his torso even if it meant have my spike sink even deeper in his flesh, I found myself unable to move oddly capted by this bloody spectacle.

Sieg's mouth reached the level of my ear, his breathing was horrible and his whole body was shaking.
I almost missed the first few words he pronounced.

"Don't give me this crap"
He said so softly it was barely udible.

"For the last five years I lived with the awareness one day I'd have to fight this war"

All his blood started to glow even brighter.

"For the last year I woke up every day scared that the person I love the most would just disappear"

Crimson bolts of mana began to surround us.

"For an entire life I knew I didn't have a purpose, that every breath was a blessing and that I'd never meant something important to the person I respect the most"

An incredible amount of energy accumulated around Sieg.

"This's bad this's bad"
I thought piercing the homunculus's belly with another spike.

"if that doesn't taste like mud"
He kept speaking as if I didn't just pierced his stomach.

"I don't know what it does"
"Morgendämmerung des Drachen"
(Dawn of the dragon)

The ground under my feet shattered to make space to a colossal pair of crimson jaws, all Sieg's blood drops I had on my face began to boil, it hurted, hell if it hurted, I immediately began pulling to set free my arms, but the homunculus kept me immobile sinking his magically reinforced fingers in my forearms.

"Shit shit shit"
I muttered franatically while burning pain exploded all over my limbs and the crimson jaws were getting closer.

AH Help anyone I needed help, I didn't want to become a really awesome snack for some stomachless dragon head!

Emiya's voice suddenly bursted in my ears.
"Hikigaya!"

...yuppy...Emiya... ehm AH Help anyone (possibly not Emiya) I needed help, I didn't want to become a really awesome snack for some stomachless dragon head!

"No, com'on it can end up like this I have still too many thinks to do like...uh...ah wow my head is completely empty"
I thought expecting to see my life run in front of my eyes...just to receive some error 404.

"How disappointing"
I whispered ready to explode in a shapeless mass of pain magic and stay in the skeleton from for...a week, maybe two.

Geez I really hoped all the civilians were going to be moved out before I reduced everything to ashes... or met a servant able to take me down.

The last second before I remained trapped in that colossal bear trap two thin arrows pierced through Sieg's wrists. Crimson drops filled the air, while a voice surrounded by blue bolts ran all the way to my ears.
"DON'T DIE ON ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE"

"Dammit Emiya... I can never get a break around you"

Making use of the opening Emiya gifted me I disassembled the metal spikes around my arms and pulled with every single ounce of strength I had left.

*QUANC

With a wet sound ripped out Sieg's grasp my forearms leaving behind various chucks of flesh, at this point the pain should have been unbearable, yet I was so focused on staying alive (ah ah oh ye) that I only felt the warmth of my blood flowing out of my body. I pushed my feet on the ground trying to jump out from the jaws, however as tired as I was... I wouldn't have been able to make it out in one piece.

"Which foot do I hate the most, left or right?"
I asked myself thinking about how much fun Winry was going to have to make me an Automail.
I was going to decide, left because it was the foot that was more likely to smash against the furniture.

Yet while I was jumping away from the homunculi two silver birds bind a string around my wrists and carried me away.

"Einzbern familiars... that little she lied! I believed she had nothing so fast"
I whispered staring at a tiny girl far away from me.

Enveloped in half burnt clothing and nearly unable to stand Illyasviel von Einzbern was controlling these two creature pushing hwr concentration to the uttermost limit. She had to make the familias strong enough to carry me yet delicate enough not to tore apart my arms.

"Christ why am I getting so much help today"
I said landing near Emiya who had collapsed on the ground.

The sleeve of his left arm was all broken and casual bolts of mana kept popping around.
"Emiya what have you done?"
I asked putting my right arm under his to have him stand.

"I Projected other two arrows, but air gradation wasn't enough so I had to improvise"
Retorted the auburn boy barely able to hold up his own weight.

"Have we won?"
Asked him throwing a quick glance to Sieg that was slowly standing up as well.

The homunculus kept coughing blood as he moved his hands on the two metal spikes I had left in his body.
"Logic path(Straße)/open(gehen)"
Releasing a tiny amount of simple blue mana manipulated the Holy steel I had controlled until a second ago, to shape it in the perfect way to keep functional blood vessels and organs.

"No we haven't won at all, we have to run!"
I said shoving Emiya on my shoulder and starting to run like a person desperate to survive.

Who I was oddly enough.

The scenario I wanted to avoid the most was arriving.

Sieg was healing and completely defended by the dragon head around himself, Emiya was practically down, I was injured and Nothung was just a few steps away from the homunculus.

That meant a single thing.

"NOBLE PHANTASM INCOMING, TOHSAKA EMERALD BARRIER OR SOMETHING! EINZBERN TURN THERE BIRDS IN SOME KIND OF DAGGERS"
I shouted like a mad man throwing Emiya in their direction while Sieg created a red tentacle out of the dragon head to grab his sword crystal sword.

"Shit shit shit. That's a the last change I got!"
I thought turning my heels while the two little birds around my wrists turned in to two little swords.

"Oi I asked for daggers not short-swords!"
I grunted disappointed

"I can't improvise a design on spot!"
Pouted the girl.

"Whatever"
I said in the exact moment Sieg got his hands back on Nothung.

At this point Sieg was around a hundred meters away from Tohsaka and co. while I was about 20 meters from them. If everything played out as I expected Sieg'd try to take all of us down at he same moment unleashing his noble phantasm, given how fast this dude improved I'd say this time the power was going to be around level C- and that meant there was no way Tohsaka and Einzbern could endure the assault of those crystals for more than ten seconds.

"So there's only a possible solution"
I said stopping turning my heels to look the homunculus the eyes.

"What the hell is he doing! Why isn't he taking cover? Tohsaka why isn't he taking cover!"

"Shiro calm down, Hikigaya isn't taking cover because there's no cover"

"What?"

"So you realized it yourself, Rin."

"Girls what are you two talking about?"

"Hikigaya asked Rin and I to prepare defensive spells, but"

"We can't handle for long what's coming so..."

"... he'll try to pass through that maze of crystals, while we stay here"

"Okay 80 meters of death, nothing more, nothing less...again why the hell I didn't do something smarter than coming in Fuyuki? Like shooting my foot...that would have been thousands of time less painful... right rags of my forearms?"
I asked lowering my legs.

If I wanted to do it right I had to be fast, incredibly fast ridiculously fast and start moving only after the attack had started otherwise he could focus only on me and I was as good as dead.
With a deep breath I squeezed out the two black keys on my arms the last pieces of holy metal to completely envelop my arms. The tiny twin swords Einzbern made for me were probably going to last a few hits at best, probably the best thing would have been tossing them as throwaway weapons, but I wasn't sure how many basic laws of physics worked on them... so no flying blades.

"One last time... surrender"
Said Sieg making the dragon head around him, turn into a chinese like dragon that began to dance around Nothung.

...

the magical adventure of brain-kun

"He progressed faster than expected"

"..."

"We are screwed"

"..."

"Like way more screwed than before "

"SHUT UP!"

"...For the last time... Fuck you"
I retorted trying stay more coherent than smart.

"as you wish GHA!"
Suddenly screamed the homunculus as a greenish-blue scar began to glow on his chest and face.

"...uh ahaha! FUCKING FINALLY spamming all those spells finally activated some draw back, dammit took long enough"
I grinned like a mad bastard watching as while the natural power of the homunculus rebelled against the dragonic one.

Many types of magecrafth could coexist in the body of a Magus however if something when said types held great power there was the risk that they started to clash against one another. Usually Magi tended to specialize in certain areas that were more or less compatible: Alchemy and Reinforcement for example, yet when a Magus dared to use dragonic magic, or any particular magic bounded to a race or to spirits... then he or she had to pledge all his life to that one type of magic.

"Trying to use more is a suicide"
I whispered under Sieg's screaming.

"GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The homunculus bent backwards releasing blue and crimson bolts all over the place, Nothung began to shift back and forth to the form of another great sword I didn't recognize, while a glowing rectangle of the dimension of a card stared to glow of pure white on Sieg's chest.

To be fair I wasn't exactly sure this was supposed to happen, I expected something less flashy and more sheer heart attacking... because not to be picky of course, but it seemed Sieg possessed another crazy type of magic able to equal out the dragoinc one... and since that would be incredibly lucky for him and incredibly terrible for me... I truly hoped to be wrong. I mean how many chances there are that two powerful and opposite energies resided inside one body... ehe that would be over plot-armor, it would be like Ichigo at the end of Bleach.

An insane cocktail of powers that weren't supposed to mix between one another.

"ahah there's no way it's going to happen here and now"
I said terribly slowly feeling a bitter taste in my mouth.

My life truly sucked.

*TTTWWWWWWWAAAAANNNNNNNN

With a thundering sound red and blue lightnings fused in violet mess, the shape of a dragon and of a man started to dance around Sieg spinning faster and faster until they looked just like a glowing ring.

I had no idea of what was going on, and after looking at the astonished faces of Tohsaka, Einzbern and Emiya I realized I wasn't the only one.

Something big was going on here and probably the most natural course of action here would have been runnig away, yet I couldn't move the electric signals of this violet light show was overcharging all my senses grounding me on the spot.

I couldn't move even if my life had depended on it.

Sieg's screams suddenly ceased and all that power got sucked inside the white rectangle on his chest. Nothung shattered in thousands of pieces and returned back together in the shape of a katana.

Maybe it was finally over.

"arf arf... God I'll make those two pay a rent"
Groaned Sieg before the rectangle hidden in his clothes began to glow again this time of deep purple.

"INSTALL SABER CARD
SIEGFRIEND
FAFNIR"

Or maybe not?

Multiple feelings crossed my mind as Sieg returned to look like a demon... no it was nothing like before. When I first met him the homunculus looked like a mad beast, now he seemed more collected: his skin was tanned, a glowing scar covered good part of his chest and face, while horns fangs and claws looked less stubby and more sharp than before.

"ffffffuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkk"
I groaned overwhelmed by the magical pressure of this dude...he... he truly looked like a servant.

A servant a bit cringy since he looked like some dragon-surfist-hybrid.

"Sorry for the wait, run into some technical issues"
Exhaled Sieg making a conscious effort to speak every word.

Trebling he held his katana in front of his chest and let purple bolts envelop the weapon until it began dividing in two separate swords.

They were smaller than before, but I could still recognize one of them: it was Nothung.

With bolts of purple power were swirling around the homunculus it seemed like he was ready to explode... he had to get rid of all that energy before it became to unstable to hold.

The tiny Nothung began to shine ominous the chinese dragon had returned to dance around the blade and at this point I was pretty sure the next attack wouldn't have been less than a B level.

... Hikigaya Hachiman last wishes: Komachi-chan please delete my browser history, Oni-chan always loves you, Dad Mom some shady guys will arrive and burn my room let them do it, there's too much confidential stuff in that tiny place.
Kyo, don't touch my stuff, Levi don't touch my stuff all Oroboro don't touch my stuff just put everything in my grave. Thank you.

P.S. Ashua I'm the one who stole your shampoo sorry I had too many split ends.

"Fucking consecutive power ups!"
I groaned looking at my opponent he was ready to leave all of us half dead.

Roar,

"Now what am I supposed to do? Maybe I can dodge but the other three are screwed, think Hachiman think dammit"

guardian dragon

"...arf..there's no other way"
I whispered glancing at the three Masters behind my back. They were scared, hurt, but most importantly i couldn't ditch them otherwise I'd feel bad.

Dammit I have to stick to the original plan win...geez what a good freaking grief.

"I know that it might overstrain your little brain"
I said surrendering to my fate.
"But please come out with something to do after I survive or die, think of it like chess, this time you're the king and I'm the sacrificial pawn."
I had to risk everything.
"Oh and before I forget it, Einzbern don't kill Emiya, apparently you don't like him, but give me a break please"

And prepare my last back-up.

Nothung"

Slicing empty air Sieg summoned his noble phantasm. The dragon moving around Nothung suddenly grew to the size of a bulldozer and started to fly towards me with its mouth open. Everywhere it passed, crimson fangs of crystal surged from the ground and from them a swarm of scarlet bullets.

The pattern used by the crystal was always the same, however the speed was completely on another level and the bullets reduced my mobility.

"Dammit"
I thought slashing through all crystal projectiles coming in my direction with Einzbern's familiars.

Silver arcs and red shards flew all over the place, the whole set of crimson bullet wasn't that dangerous per se, the trajectories were easy to understand and there wasn't any real power to push them, I suspected they weren't even meant to a form of attack. However their presence stopped me from running and most importantly kept weakening Tohsaka's emerald shield and Einzebern's...weird glowy thing?

At this pace we're all doomed. Or to be more precise I was going to be seriously messed up and the other three were sooo dead.

"Com'on brain think about something!"
I thought cutting in half a crystal.

the magical adventures of brain-kun.

"Don't you dare drop this on me, in these cases all our folders say "BLOW EVERYTHING UP!" BUT NOOOOOO you had to fuck up all your magic circuits, and dry up all the mana."

"So..."

"So! you expect a solution different from "and everybody died" after hearing what I said?!"

"That would be the plan"

"I hate me so much... two options: Go berserker and hope everything works out, or see what that guy wants."

"Guy? Which guy!"

"That one that is trying to break in your head since you wore this coat"

"...Ara?"

"You didn't notice?"

"I wasn't exactly in my top condition..."

"Do I let him in?"

"yeah.. it's been a while since we last had a pained spirit, serve him tea or something"

"Aye"

"What's the guy's name?"

"Kiritsugu Emiya"

"Oh..."

"Uhuhahahahahahahah. Now comes the final cut-scene"
I grinned pushing my body to its limit to cut down every damn crystal in coming my direction.

The coat I had borrowed started to move on his own like a drop of ink in the water, while the bolts of energy of what remained of a pained soul surrounded me.

At this point I was nothing more than a proxy a channel that allowed a stupid man that had died a long time ago to do one last thing in this world.

"cornibus proelium responsum"
(answer the horns of battle)

With what little voce I had left in my throat I chanted a spell meant to summon entire armies just for one person.

"milites heroes, victimae, iungere meis."
(soldiers, heroes, victims, join me by my side.)

The life of a young boy grown up to become a machine passed through my mind.

"unlined tua gladii"
(draw your swords)

All his regrets, all the despair and the humilations that had kept his soul bounded to this earth till today were becoming part of me.

"conculcaverunt cum orbe terrarum bellum"
(trample the battlefield once again)

Were becoming the last bits of energy I needed to protect what remained of the family of an idiot that never understood what being an hero of justice meant.

Killing one to save ten... what a dumb thing.

"MANUS CLAMANTES"
(call to arms)

The moment I concluded the spell I felt my whole body ready to pop, my magic circuits were on the verge of popping, but hell I didn't care.

Sieg's dragon was practically in my face.
But I didn't care.

Einzbern's familiar short swords exploded.
I didn't care.

"Is there something you care about?"
Asked the voice of an old man inside my head.

"Of course Emiya I care to win"
I responded drawing from the coat Emiya Kiritsugu's family photo.
"Do you?"
I asked as the picture I held between two fingers began to glow of pure white.

"I wouldn't be here otherwise"

"Good then burn everything you got left!"
I screamed dashing towards the dragon.

Trails of lightning were the only things I left behind. The picture in my hand started to fold itself until it looked like a rose.

It was time to speed up.

"Let's shuffle the cards.""Let's shuffle the cards."

Kiritsuku's voce and mine mashed together.

"Can you keep up with me?""Can you keep up with me?"

I felt a stream of power flow across all my spine.

"Chronos Rose."

The rose in my hand shattered and time slowed down.
"Time alter Penta Accel".

I Jumped with all my strength inside the mouth of the dragon and dashed through a maze of endless spikes. It was insane even with this speed I borrowed I could barely keep up with that ever-changing crystals that assaulted me from every possible part.

"Com'on! Time alter Esa Accel"
I screamed pushing this power further and beyond.

Turning in mad snake made of lighting I dashed through what remained of Sieg's noble phantasm in the fraction of a second. I bursted out from the dragon's tail in a could of crystal shards and mana.
Sieg's eyes widened in surprise, his concentration faded and so his Noble phantasm, he swinged Nothung at me in a scorching ark but I managed to dodge the blade of a paper thin space before landing with all my strength a punch on his guts.

With all the speed I had acquired I should have shattered whatever remained of all his organs, however he was just pushed back of a few meters.

Something felt terribly off. Without giving Sieg the time to recover I dashed again against him to land a second blow, he was way less damaged than he should have been, in fact he promptly rose his second sword and swinged it against me saying.

"Bahalmung"

My instincts took control of my body forcing me to do the most dangerous limbo on the planet. I ducked at blanc point range a blaze of blue plasma and then punched again Sieg in the stomach with all my power.

He was pushed back one more time, and for the second time he didn't seem to receive damage.

"Shit the partial possession is nearly over"
I thought starting my last assault.

Leaving defense aside I turned my metallic arms in two arm-blades and slashed at Sieg's shoulders, however the homunculus read through my moves and with his super-(artificial)human reflexes he... he cut them off using Nothung and Bahalmung.

I felt...nothing, literally nothing, those two were two empty shells I used as decoys

"Check"

Looking at Sieg gasping in surprise I revealed from under the coat my two real arms, with one gun in a hand I shot four quick bullets on Sieg's forehead.

As expected they bounced off, I managed to distract him and to press my hand on the metallic plates he used to patch up his body.

"Ghaaa"
With a beastly roar I sent a bolt of mana in them making grown inside Sieg a hook and a chain of holy steel.

*Buwaaa
He vomited blood.

I knew I had only a second left before collapsing, so I grabbed the chain hanging in Sieg's belly and used to throw him towards Emiya.

It was his job to do Check mate.

Suddenly the connection with Kiritsugu Emiya disappeared. I crushed on the ground, my bones cracked in thousands of pieces and my magic circuits fried opening uncountable wounds all over my body.

"I overdid again"
I thought shaken by spasms.

What happened next was all fuzzy. I couldn't distinct shapes, sounds or voices, but the colors helped me understand what was going on.

After I threw Sieg he flew for about twenty meters, then a violet seal appeared above him and he got crushed on the ground.

Probably a gravity based jewel spell from Tohsaka. Then a light blue and a red falling star hit Sieg creating a vortex of fire around him, given their trajectories I was sure those "falling stars" were in reality arrow with a jewel fire and a wind instead of a point. At first I was like "Nice job Emiya...using fire against the dude that breathes fire, genius", but then I realized that fire tornado had only one objective: choke Sieg.

The magical combustion rapidly consumed all the air around the homunculus that found himself unable to breathe, grabbing his own throat Sieg rolled on the ground until he forcefully expelled all the purple magic in his body to destroy the fire vortex around him.

His swords returned back to be a single katana and all his draconig features disappeared.

One last attack arrived from my team's side: a single familiar spear made of pure light. Seeing that Sieg forced himself on his feet and aimed his katana towards the spear, I didn't know what did he wanted to do cut it? However little mattered because a third arrow shot by Emiya made the spear explode before the homunculus reached it.

Sieg was blown away. Unconscious he landed just a couple of meters from me.

Christ we had won. We had really won.

Ahahahahahahahah suck it overpowered meat doll no plot armor for you ahahahahahahah!

No jokes aside everyone did a pretty damn g-

"Good job"
Said quiet a voice piercing through the hears of all the presents.

I couldn't distinct who the hell was he and I was barely able to tell he was speaking from somewhere high, maybe a light pole, but I knew this cold feeling of running through my whole spine.

"Assassin"
I groaned on the verge of fainting.

"I see you youngsters kept up with my brat, impressive. Since we are all tired why don't we calm down and go to sleep it's been a long night for everybody, just look at this girl falling asleep while I was choking her, I bet she'd truly like to go in her futon"
Said Assassin outside from my field of view, which girl was he talking about.

"BASTARD DROP SABER NOW!"
Screamed the only personable to be so loud so late...yup Emiya.

"As you wish *throw"

Wait did he just drop Saber?

"Saber! *diving-teenager-sounds"

He did! And Emiya jumped to save her? I mean her? I was more worried for anything that was under that lady to be honest.

*bang, bang

Two shots resounded in the air.

"AAAAAAAAHRGGGGGGGG"
"AAAAAAAAAHHRRRRRRRRRARRRRRRR"
Confused screams filled my ears and at this point I could only think a thing

"Ahhhh! Why can't I see a thing?! Someone turn my neck please"

I was losing important action here.

"Uh no false alarm the action moved next to me"
I thought as Assassin's military boots entered in my field of view

"Well good night kiddos me and my idiot Master have to go"
Said Assassin delicately putting Sieg on his shoulders.

"Dammit the third draw in a day"
I muttered bitter.

"Oh and since I am here I think I might take one of those girls"
Added Assassin pointing his fingers towards Flat-chest-san and Leys-whatever.
"Nothing personal Einzbern but, Heracles gave me too much headache, I need to make sure you won't break my balls for the next week 'kay"

"Oi what's with that speech creep "
I spit on the servant full of spite.

I didn't nearly killed myself just to see somebody getting kidnapped, I wasn't Mario goddamnit.

"Ara? Still awake young man, I thought you had passed out for good?"
Asked Assassin moving closer to me.

"Not yet, people around are so noisy"
I responded nearly choking in my own words, speaking was so tiring.

Assassin rose his foot and moved above my head.
"Then"

Oh he was going to stomp on me wasn't he?

"let me help you"

"Of fucking course"
I thought rising my arm to protect my head.

I expected to feel my fingers pop under the raw power of the servant, yet something weird happened, the moment the boot collided with my hand I felt a regenerating spark run through my magic circuits.

"Uh what the hell?"
I thought as Assassin made a few steps away from me.

In his eyes a purple "VIII" was glinting faint, his expression was unreadable.

"I see a new path, aha that's going to be a mess"
Chuckled him before disappearing.

The next thing I knew was that I had fainted.

"So your family is safe, happy now Emiya?"

"You have my deepest thanks"

"Don't sweat over it, it was thanks to your power I managed to avoid going berserker, let's call it even"

"... fine"

"..."

"...Hikigaya why didn't you kill the homunculus? With your last move you could have pierced his heart"

"Kill one to save three"

"..."

"You see Magus killer in my line of work I do not trade lives, I don't do proportions, I make investments, I save one so he'll save two, I save ten so they'll save a hundred... Sieg isn't evil he just happened to be on a different side."

"mercy is a dangerous answer"

"mercy is never the wrong answer, even though cutting off a limb or two can be useful"

"Even if a person truly deserved to die."

"Nobody deserve death, nobody deserve the easy road... But everybody deserve to live with the weight of their mistakes on their back. At that point whenever they decide to shoot themselves or try to atone is not my business"

"... you're truly a peculiar individual I wish we had met sooner"

"Believe me you don't I'm pleasant only until I don't start pointing out your mistakes"

"for example?"

"Which idiot doesn't take skydiving equipment on an air plane mission?"

"...ah now I see what you meant"

"Right"

"..."

"Uhm shouldn't you like get going? At this point I'm the only thing that's keeping anchored your soul here"

"... about that..."

"What?"

"I was cursed"

"Yeah? And so what were supposed to haunt your house or something"

"not quite"

"... talk magus killer"

"I had been cursed with the end of last holy grail war, for years my body got slowly and painfully corrupted...until I died"

"Seems pretty standard to me"

" But then my soul remained bounded to the house and for years now my spirit had been confined inside my room"

"Okay weird my sole presence was enough to break this condition, but that's not the first time it happened... now you're free get going"

"I can't "

"Ara?"

"My curse was meant to make me suffer until the everything I ever loved disappeared"

Next morning

"Ugwa! I hate spirit free loaders"
I yawned as first action of saturday morning.

Yeah it was finally saturday. I was still injured covered in bandages like a mummy but still alive.

"maybe today I'll be quieter"
I muttered before realizing there was something attached to me.

A tiny girl to be precise.

"Why the hell is Einzbern here?"
I gasped looking at the homunculus hugging my tummy...eeeeeeeeehm ehm

Still no FBI around.

"Perfect"
I thought slowly stretching my hands to the side of the futon.

Now I had only to press my hands down and slip awa-*POCHI, poch.

"That's definitely not the futon"
I muttered while thick seat drops invaded my forehead.

One big, one small, both soft.

"fuck fuck fuck shit, stupid anime tropes"
I thought while the soft things I had my hands on rose upwards.

It was official I was currently groping Einzbern's maids.

"Oh..."
Muttered emotionless as usual Leys-whatever not that bothered while her sister.
"H-h-h"

"Sella-san please calm down"

"Hentai!"

*SLAAAAPPPPP!

Caccia fulmini here it's been over two months but here I am with this long ass chapter, sorry if it took so long but I knew that if I didn't put everything in 8man Pov it would have been one really big mess. I mean bigger than it is.

I dropped a few bombs here and there.

8man has now a command seal, knows about Gilgamesh, is half fried and now gets to deal with Rom com shit.
 Sieg proved himself as the strongest Master and kept getting weird power ups (but its nothing new for every Apocrypha watcher) is he going to die? No he isn't going to die, but who knows what's happening inside our favorite cardboard boy.
Shiro can be smart too!
Kiritsugu's soul has rented a corner of 8man's brain.
Assassin handled 3 servants.

How did he? Who knows!

See you next ch (that hopefully won't take in two months) with THE SERVANTS.

I hope to see your review and if you have eventual question let me know CacciaFulmini out!