THE RULER
Once I thought duty was the only thing that gave meaning to my life. As our savior was born to die and redeemed humanity from its existence had only one purpose. Leading my people out of a never-ending war. Even if it meant meeting my end by getting burned in stake, flesh burning away and slowly choking to death by the smoke that surrounds me. People had called me Saint, but I was not one. I was only a person meant to walk on a given path. I entrusted my body and my soul to God and my country so that I could become what they needed me to be. I never regretted it, but sometimes I questioned why me? Why was I the one that had to walk on that path?
Until my last breath I never obtained an answer, but then my faith paid me back.
Right after I was hugged by the cold embrace of death I found myself in a white empty space, it's cold at first but then warmth feeling starts to spread, then a golden voice called onto my name and a boy barely older than eight appeared before my very eyes, on his young body, countless wounds kept opening and closing, yet he didn't even seem to notice.
"Jeanne D'arc"
He said, revealing a warm voice way deeper and more musical than I can ever imagine.
"Your life is now over, your body will burn to ashes and disappear in a county where you don't belong to, still, your name will remain forever be etched in history and will be a legend, your spirit will make the masses rise and your soul will reach the throne of heroes"
He continued while the empty space around us began to spark of blue power.
"So tell me, are you happy with the life you had?"
"HUUUWAAAA!"
I suddenly woke up from my dreams.
Where was I?
*squeeeeeeeeze*
"Ehem ok, I'm on the couch... but, what I was doing?"
"I'm flying Jack"
"Right… Titanic"
I said looking at the giant TV in my living room.
...wait did I just fall asleep watching Titanic? I thought I'd never be fed up by this movie. I had watched it at least 200 times.
"Josephine!"
"Josephine!"
Said Di Caprio and I, in unison while watching the scene
Oh... maybe after having memorized every single line, the whole film experience had lost some of its value.
"Sorry Leo, but I need something new," I thought making my way through an empty box of cookies and bags of chips. Where did I left the remote?
Under the pillows? No.
On the floor? No.
Near the decoder? Yes!
"Ugh… too far…"
I grunted stretching my arms from the couch.
I didn't want to stand uuuuuuupppppppppp!
"If only…ugh… I had….*grunt* Longer…. Hands….. Ugh, fine! I give up!"
I said leaving my soft nest and grabbing the remote.
"Okay let's see what we got tonight"
*click
"Already watched"
*click
"Watched lots of times"
*click
"watched a lot more times"
*click
"Oh, I'm behind a season"
*click
"Again, already watched it"
*click
" Watched too many times"
*click
"Ugh, please changed the actors"
*click
"watched too many times to count,
*click
"Watc..."
*click
"Uh?"
*click *click *click.
"Fantastic dead batteries, Sieg!, darling!, Sweetie! Can you bring me two spare batteries?"
I asked hitting delicately the remote.
I was kind of hoping for a miracle, but the remote didn't return to be able to work, so I guess my prayers weren't heard.
And not only them.
"Sieg!? The batteries!"
I called again my husband.
"..."
Silence, How weird.
"Assassin? Anyone?"
I said looking around for the attic.
There was none around.
"Oh, right... they went out against Caster tonight"
I thought remembering why I was alone.
"Right, to fight Caster"
I repeated while my mood sunk as badly as the Titanic.
Those two were out there fighting Medea of Cochilis and Sasaki Koujiro... and Sieg was going to use that, Damn card! I knew it. I truly hated it, when he used that damn thing, the pain in his red eyes, all the nightmares he had at night, and all the blood he coughed...
DAH! I hated every single bit!
I just wanted to rip it into pieces, and toss them into the trash... then set fire to said trash, and ship the ashes away, somewhere. Somewhere far away, somewhere far, far away! But... But, how could it?
He was fighting outside, without any rest, because of me…..
"I never knew something could make me so happy and so sad at the same time."
I whispered softly while my eyes unconsciously moving on a picture hanging on the wall.
"Today's Wednesday"
I said gently while taking down the black-framed photo on the wall.
With religious care, I softly caress at the heart-shaped photo. Here... here, it was immortalized, probably the happiest! Moment of my life.
In this picture, I was smiling more than I ever believed possible, my white dress was fluttering in the air while Sieg had suddenly started carrying me like a princess and kissed my forehead. Nearly all the background was invaded by a cloud of red petals, but if I concentrated a lot I could see in a corner Assassin scratching away a tear from under his sunglasses.
"Two years, eight months and five days"
My lips began to tremble.
"It's not enough"
My voice broke.
Hugging the picture tightly against my chest, I fell on my knees.
I didn't want this life to end!
"It's still too short"
I didn't want this life to end. I wanted to stay with Sieg much longer, hear his stupid complains longer, wake up at his side for longer, lose the flight for our vacation other thousand times, hold the wedding ring on my finger until I grew old.
I wasn't ready to give up this life too.
"Then burn everything in your path"
"Uh someone said something?"
I suddenly asked tilting my head.
There, none in the attic, but I could have sworn someone had just talked to me. Well, whatever.
"Com' on...Enough sadness for tonight"
I muttered cleaning a few tears off my eyes and hanging back in its place the picture.
"Besides it's not like I'm worried, Sieg is strong, Hachiman too, they're going to be fin-WHY AM I DIALING A NUMBER!"
I screamed realizing I had unconsciously drawn my smartphone!
Calling Sieg-sweet-heart
"N-nononono"
I stuttered alarmed while my fingers possessed by unknown forces kept missing the "end call" button.
"Mochi Mochi"
"Ah! he answered what do I do what do I do!"
I thought on the verge of screaming.
"Ah eh uh HI Sieg"
I muttered not too sure what to say next.
"Jen"
Oh God, Oh God, he sounded fine marvelous, but I still needed an excuse something credible!
"Uh, do you know where are the AAA batteries?"
Taken by anxiety I asked the first thing that rushed outside my brain.
I sounded so stupid! Batteries. Out all the things I could think of batteries! Why was I so stupid! Dammit Jeanne!
"Look inside the Indian pot"
Luckily my husband fell for my excuse and with his calm, emotionless voice answered my question.
Indian pot uh...UH! The batteries were actually there? I could have turned over the whole attic before even thinking about the pot. Wait...
"The red or the blue one?"
"The blue one"
Ah, I loved that pot, I still remembered when I bought that thing! The seller was trying to scam me
"... ah sweet honeymoon times"
I whispered throwing a stare to the wedding picture.
A thin smile sprang on my lips and nearly out of instinct I said four words
"Thanks, I love you"
"Okay I'm calm now"
I said fetching the new batteries and then diving on the couch.
"That's right calm"
I repeated switching the old batteries of the remote.
"calm"
"I'M NOT CALM AT ALL!"
I screamed slamming the first pillow within reach on my face.
AAAHHHH! The last time they went out fighting I wasn't conscious so I couldn't get worried, but this time there was no trick!
"MOOOOOOOOHH! I've to go out, I won't fight just be sure nothing bad happens"
I stood up throwing away the pillow.
"But I'm a Ruler, I can't side with anyone"
I sat down again.
"But the grail isn't giving me mana, so I'm not obliged to do my job"
Stood up again.
"But I can't just go around wasting mana"
I sat down once more.
I couldn't decide.
"Dear God please help me, give me a sign, what's the right thing to do."
I prayed staring at the ceiling.
*Dlin Don
"SAY NO MORE!"
I shouted rushing towards the door.
"Hi!"
I greeted whoever activated the bell.
"Jen-sempai"
Responded the unexpected guest.
"Haruno? What brings you here?"
"You tweeted you're watching Titanic, and you only watch Titanic if you're alone at home and Sigh-sempai is out doing pokemon tournaments"
"Wha? That's not true..."
"..."
"..."
"Okay that's true"
"I know right, so since at this point even you would get bored after hearing for the hundredth time the same corny line... wanna have a drink?"
Asked Haruno reading me like an open book.
She was right... "draw me like your french ladies" stopped sounding exciting a long time ago. But most importantly now I had an excuse to go outside!
"YES! YES! I want to!"
I cried projecting myself to grab my coat.
"Okay let's go!"
"What? Like this? No make-up, no aggressive outfit?"
Asked my kouhai raising an eyebrow.
"why wasting time changing? I'm a married woman"
I retorted cleaning crumbs of various nature from my jumper.
"Yeah.. sure, but I want free drinks and unless you go a bit on the offensive we won't get any"
Rebuked Haruno opening her jacket and revealing a one-piece black dress with an "interesting" neckline.
The urge to sigh pervaded every single fiber of my body.
"... in these moments I really understand how those two got together"
I thought recognizing the rotten pragmatism Haruno and Hachiman shared.
"Okay... give me a moment"
I groaned giving up before searching for something else to wear.
An hour or so later... what surprised I took that long? I'm a lady for goodness' sake I need time to prepare. What was I saying? Oh, right.
An hour or so later Haruno and I were entering in a pub in Fuyuki center, my senses were running wild I could feel huge amounts of mana flowing through all the city, but they seemed quite far from me and as I was now I couldn't just go to see what was going on.
And besides.
"Jen-sempai, remember keep your ring covered if even a person sees it the whole plan is screwed."
I had to avoid one of my few friends got stuck in a mess too big for her to handle.
From the moment we entered the pub a lot of stares stuck on us, it wasn't anything new I was kind of used to situation like this one, but usually, Sieg or Hachiman scared whoever wanted to approach me with their sole presence.
Honestly, it was pretty pleasant, mostly because it was the easiest to force those two to show some affection; Sieg always made sure to show I was his wife doing a few things like showing off the wedding ring, kissing me or putting his hands on... various places. (I'll never admit is kind of exciting)
Meanwhile, Hachiman went straight up to over-protective parent mode, spoiling me with different goods to distract me from the menacing stares he kept throwing around.
Those two have always been a couple of socially awkward sweethearts.
"Two martinis"
Ordered Haruno going straight up to the bar counter.
"Make them strong"
Added the girl slowly opening her jacket using only movements dripping of innuendo.
"Good Lord forgive her impudence"
I whispered joining her without display the same shameful actions.
As Haruno wanted I had changed my outfit and now I was wearing a simple cream color high neck pullover and a pair of jeans. I didn't bother to doll up, the only jewel I wore was a pair of pearl earrings I bought in Greece a few years ago.
"Here's your martinis, first round is on the house"
Winked the bartender leaving two glasses for us.
"Well your plan is working"
I said making my lips barely touch the drink.
The smell of alcohol filled my nose. Yes, this martini was pretty strong, just like I liked it.
Jeanne's liver
"OH shit here we go again"
*gulp
I sent the whole thing down my throat.
Ah, that felt refreshing!
"uhuh you're still quite the drinker sempai, buuuutttttt what was that "well your plan is working" You speak like my plans ever failed"
Commented Haruno with a malicious smile.
"Flamenco"
Her smile broke.
"Low blow, low blow Jen-sempai, we agreed that never happened."
"My husband agreed after you corrupted him with that Naruto figure, I just remained silent for over three years because I believed it was the most polite thing to do."
I replied sticking my tongue out.
"Mou, how terrible..."
Pouted the woman before slowly sipping her drink.
"But why mention it now?"
She asked cold and sharp.
"to remind you that you're not infallible Haruno"
"Oh. Here. We. Go. Again."
Smiled my friend shaking her head.
"Always trying to keep me out of the danger. Always sticking to the righteous path that makes you feel better with yourself. Always so many things Jen-sempai, but why are you never supportive? I could cry you know"
"Haruno this isn't something you can take lightly"
"Janet or whatever is your real name. I f I was really taking this whole mess lightly I wouldn't have asked for your help"
Hissed Haruno emptying her glass.
On her face there wasn't any joyful facade she would have normally used, there was just Yukinoshita Haruno.
"..."
"I didn't ask to be sent here, I did 't ask for any of this, but it was either me or Yukino-chan"
"Haru what happened?"
"Nothing you'd care about"
*pinch
"OW Jwen-swempai whwat awe you dowing?"
"Pinching your rebellious cheek, don't go around deciding what I would or would not care about"
Oh dear, I sounded like Hikigaya.
"oway, okway, just stop"
"perfect, so now you tell one-chan what happened."
"...An agreement, with another family"
Began Haruno scratching her cheek.
"They had the innovation, we had the wealth, nothing fancy up to this point, but then we discovered that to activate everything we needed the holy grail.
"All the grail?"
"No just some information. The problem is I can't extract them unless I reach the physical grail"
"I see.. so you were sent alone?"
"yeah couldn't lose man-power back in Chiba, plus groups of magi attract too much attention, and now please don't ask anything else... I wasn't supposed to speak about any of this."
She said biting her lower lip.
..she was going through a lot, wasn't she? Time to act like a big sis.
"... Other two martinis"
I ordered.
"Jen-sempai?"
"Haru tonight we drink our anxieties away"
I proclaimed poking at her forehead.
We were both filled by our problems and worries, for various reasons we couldn't open fully to each other, but at least we could distract ourselves together over a few drinks.
"Here other two martinis"
Said the bartender a second before Haru and I snatched the glasses.
"3" "3"
"2" "2"
"1" "1"
"Cheers" "Cheers"
With a soundly *cling we emptied our drinks in one shot.
"Pffff" "ahaha"
"We haven't done this in ages"
I said while the alcohol slightly tinged my cheeks of red.
"KU! I missed it since you moved there's none funny to do these things with"
She replied grinning slightly.
"I thought you weren't a fan getting drunk"
"Oh yeah I'm still unable to find any joy in drunkenness, but at least I have an excuse to act more naturally"
"Do you remember that Christmas?"
"Me, you, Sigh-sempai and seven bottles of vodka? Nope don't remember a thing just waking up with whiskers on my face and you sleeping on Sigh-sempai tied by colored lights"
"You had arrived from a family party and were so upset for something"
"Ugh don't remember, but I still have in my mind the pancakes your jerk butler made the morning after, never ate something so good. I guess even a worthless doll-like him can do something useful."
Groaned Haruno.
"Oh yeah Hachiman spent the entire night trying to recollect her favorite recipe"
I thought while the oddly cute picture of Assassin cooking made me chuckle.
"Okay Jen-senpai rank from one to ten the guys over there"
"What are we sixteen?"
"No, but if they think we're talking about them they'll offer us drinks"
"you're evil"
"is that news?"
"...five to the one in center, four to the one on the left and for the guy on the right six"
"That's some harsh judgment, I'd give all of them one or two points extra, you should stop comparing every guy to Sieg-sempai"
"Why?"
"Because your husband is insanely hot, if you compare everybody to him the numbers will remain low and there won't be any fun"
"Oh I'm sorry if I caught a prime product and took it away from the market"
"Geez always so possessive! I mean you can't put in the same category a Ferrari and a Honda, they have two different purposes."
"?"
"One is made to be ridden at top speed, the other to take you home after a long day"
"...terrible analogy"
"But did you get it?"
"Yeah, yeah, but why don't you go give a shot and teach me kouhai?"
"Watch and learn. Group at our right, look at the tall one, nice face, know how to dress up, good smile, confident, broad shoulders, but look at his hands, shamefully small and his nails are dirty. He gets a seven and a half. The other one next to him shorter, his hairs are messy and he dressed up without putting too much effort, however, I like his posture and he is quite fit, Oh now he is staring at me if he order us a drink from seven minus he goes up to an eight-plus."
"You value your alcohol a lot girl"
"I value who gives me what I want, AND RIGHT NOW I'M SO THIRSTY"
"This is getting ridiculous"
"Another drink for the two ladies"
"But its working, now give me a number for the first man that comes out from that door"
Said Haruno sipping her third drink.
"Fine!"
I groaned looking at the entrance.
...
...
"oH nO WhAT a ShaMe nOnE iS coMi *scueeeeek (door opening). Ugh like I said nothing"
I groaned while a new man came inside the pub.
"Oh, lucky turn Jen-sempai we got a Ferrari?"
"A Ferra-?"
I almost choked with my own drink.
The man that just arrived was a tall guy, with the physique of a warrior, awesome features a bandage around an ear, red eyes and blue hair... Lancer.
"Give me the strongest thing you have in stock dude"
Introduced himself Lancer taking a seat a few stools away from Haruno.
"Rough night?"
Asked the bartender.
"You can say that, met an unpleasant person that brought up even more unpleasant memories"
"You're in the right place to forget then"
A glass of amber liquid arrived in front of the servant.
"Irish booze, two glasses, and all your problems become a tiny point in your mind"
"...Cheers"
"Soooo 9.5 out of 10?"
Asked Haruno observing Lancer gulping down his alcohol.
"... 9.1 hairs are too long"
I replied in low voice.
"Pretty picky Jen"
"More like rude"
Muttered Lancer glancing over me and Haruno.
Dammit.
"Oh, you overheard our little talks?"
Asked my kouhai unleashing her most mischievous face.
"You must be pretty confident to be disappointed in a 9.1"
"Nah, I'm not that petty, your friend disrespected the long hairs of a warrior. Too much used to all these kiddos with pussy-short hair. They all lose at least two points, so much waste"
Groaned Lancer letting loose a shocking truth.
Haruno and I almost choked, until we built up our courage and asked.
"Soo..." "You swing that way"
Hearing our words the servant grinned a bit and then said.
"I like what I like, I want what I like, I take what I want, be it a man or a woman"
"Oh"
I mumbled a little startled while my friend...Oh no she just bit her lower lip.
Was she excited or her Yaoi period had returned from the past?
"then Oni-san want to share a few drinks with me? You can ask another guy if you want to"
BOTH!
"Ah.. you're a bold one girlie. Hey give us three a round of something"
Said Lancer to the bartender.
"On track"
He replied.
The situation was moving out of my control.
"wait, wait, wait I'm married"
I blushed terrified of what could happen while a bunch of disappointed groans filled the pub.
"Jen-sempai..."
"Yes, Haruno?"
"I'm sure you're happy now that you have expressed your position, but there is a tiny problem"
"...sorry"
"The whole plan is screwed!
"I'm sorry, is just that your libido had started building up and I got embarrassed!"
I pouted shamefully assaulting my drink.
"Because I wasn't embarrassed at all when you and Shizuka-chan discussed the outfit for the first night of honeymoon!"
Replied Haruno using... a pretty damn low blow.
"...Low... filthy low Haruno"
"After all the stuff I heard we both know who's the filthiest between the two of us"
"ah you two are hilarious"
Laughed Lancer interrupting our quarrel.
He was on his fifth or seventh consecutive shot, he didn't look tipsy, but apparently, he was ready to play the drunk act to make fun of us.
"...Oni-san thanks you but we're in the middle of a conversation, so just watch from the sidelines"
Said Haruno doing to scio scio movement with her hand.
"Oh I'd like but you're too loud, the entire pub is staring at you"
He replied pointing behind his back where a bunch of people began to nod.
...Merde.
"We are sorry"
I immediately apologized bowing my head before gesturing the bartender to fill my glass again.
I had decided! tonight was going to get dead and forget about every embarrassing thing that happened.
"Just hope it doesn't end up like in Taiwan... "
I thought chunking down another drink.
Other 5 or 6 and I might have started feeling tipsy.
"To avoid you make any more fuss why don't you tell me what brings you in this city"
Said Lancer pushing towards us two shots.
"Work"
I responded dry letting my finger dance around the tiny glass Cu Chullain gave me.
"And you miss Haruno was it?"
"Family business, just an apartment my parents want to rent, pretty boring stuff, you... ehm"
"Uh...Lance"
"Lance? Really and I thought Hikigaya was the lazy person in this city"
I thought barely avoiding to sigh... seriously from Lancer to Lance?!
If it was supposed to be joke it wasn't funny
"You Lance-san? What brings you here?"
"...I'm not too sure, I came here for business chance, but I don't know what to do if I were to obtain what I want...Let's say I arrived in Fuyuki because I wanted to compete"
Said casually Cu Chullain playing with his glass.
For a moment I stared at the servant... I found quite peculiar his last words. He came to fight, he joined the Holy Grail War despite not having a defined wish. Now it might sound rude of selfish but... Lancer made my blood boil.
There were people that had bet everything to reach the holy grail, people that were ready to lose their life to achieve one wish and he? He just came here to test his power...
then kill him, use a single command seal and take his life
"I need a breath of air"
I whispered suddenly standing up and coming out of the pub.
"Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck F. U. C. K."
I repeated madly trying to calm down.
Life wasn't fair I knew that there was no point in getting angry now.
"No point in getting angry"
I mentally reminded myself unconsciously scrubbing my wedding ring.
For the nth time in the past month, I had been tempted to sacrifice my morals to achieve what I wanted...
For the last year, I-I didn't know what to do, my divine premonition had stopped working soon after I met Sieg and Hachiman, the grail stopped to sustain me with base mana as the war began and... I was practically useless.
Half of the times I told Sieg I went to patrol the city it was a lie, I dashed straight to the hospital consumed the donated blood that had nearly expired.
It was disgusting but it was the only way to leave Sieg enough power to fight. Most magi during the holy grail war lost up to 60% of their energies to sustain their servant, luckily Assassin was able to resist on his own, however, he didn't have any Noble Phantasm that could be lethal without calling its true name.
So summing up Hachiman's mana consumption was good during quiet moments and terrible during fights.
"Fuuu"
I sighed looking in the black sky.
"At the end of the day, I've always to rely on those two...I wonder how they're doing"
I whispered thinking about my weirdos.
"AH GAMINE!"
And actually also hearing one of them, wow my imagination was powerful.
"Gamine!"
Really powerful.
"D'arc for goodness sake!"
A hand suddenly caught my shoulder and turned me.
"oh not my imagination"
I blinked half-enchanted.
It took me a long second to realize what was happening. In front of me, a very bruised Assassin was carrying on his back a girl wearing a knight armor. The discerning eyes of truth granted me by the Ruler class immediately warned me of the identity of the girl.
Saber servant
Arturia Pendragon
My expression froze, I wished to say so many things, but the only sound that came out from my mouth was a hysterical giggle.
"aha aha ahahaha ahh ah... Hachiman what the fuck?"
"Too long to explain, hold her while I put up an illusion on her clothes"
He responded tossing the girl towards me.
"Uh HA!"
I muttered catching her while stream of information tried fill my brain.
Do you want to accept the download of the file [Data of Arturia Pendragon]?
[Yes] [No]
Yes
Are you really sure?
[Yes] [No]
Yes
Is your definitive answer?
[Yes] [No]
Geez YES!
ALERT data too big try connecting to a wi-fi or download file [Data of Arturia Pendragon] during sleep mode.
Wi-Fi?! Where do I even find a Wi-Fi for the heroes' throne?
ALERT Wi-Fi not found. File [data of Arturia Pendragon] will be downloaded during sleep mode.
What the F-
"AAAAHHHH why nothing ever works!"
I groaned exasperated shoving the Saber servant on my shoulder.
GEEEZZZZZ...She was way heavier than she looked like.
"Okay stand still I'm having some problems to keep active my fourth form"
Said Assassin while the "IV" In his eyes kept blurring.
It was definitely Haruno's fault if Hikigaya was close to one of his wives his body naturally tended to shift form.
The fact he was still in his fourth form was pretty incredible, probably it was because he was currently using his Noble Phantasm.
"Kitsune dorobō"
(thief fox)
Callin the name of his Noble phantasm Assassin summoned out of his shadow an auburn fox no bigger than a tennis ball.
The cute animal jumped on me and then on Saber, a second after the small beast turned itself in a sequence of symbols that covered Saber's armor into a hoodie.
Unfortunately, that was only an illusion so the girl kept being very very heavy.
"Okay that should work for twenty minutes"
Said Hachiman cleaning a few sweat drops from his forehead.
"Old man you look drained"
I commented passing back Saber while Assassin's battle suit was replaced by casual clothes.
"You have no idea, just ran away from two angry servants"
He replied squeezing his eyes and then looking in the direction of the pub.
"Is she inside?"
"Haruno? Yes, she dragged me out, she is sharing drinks with..."
My voice died half sentence... maybe it wasn't wise to give Assassin a reason to burst inside the pub and start a brawl with another servant.
"With? Gamine speak, I'm not in my seventh form, all the memories of Haruno's timeline are sealed, I won't make a scene"
Said Hachiman addressing me with his usual "I'm-a-irritable-parental-figure" voice.
"Uh she is sharing a drink with an awesome guy"
"That's it?"
"Yes..."
"That's not it"
"Yes..."
"You can't tell me the whole truth"
"Yes"
"Uh whatever, I just need to retrieve some of my Max from this pub and reach the brat. The coffee is over and if I keep active all the fox familiars I scattered across the city my mana is bound to run out"
Groaned Assassin putting on his face a pair of magical glasses to conceal the numbers in his eyes.
"Wait you have stoked coffee here?"
"I stoked coffee all over Fuyuki, now please I need a refill or all the foxes will disappear and Archer and Berseker will realize I've been tracking them for the past ten minutes"
"Uh?"
"Long story short, 3 servants, divide and conquer, caught Saber off guard knocked her out, drugged her, used a smoke bomb and replaced me and Saber with Foxes. Archer and Berseker thought I activated a transformation Noble Phantasm and chased after them while I was hidden in a bin"
"And they have not caught your foxes already?"
"Oh yes, but I made sure that every fox was filled with a precasted spell, so when Archer of Berserker gets close boom! Cloud of smoke and the closest familiars I left in standby catch their attention."
"...Assassin how many Foxes are you controlling right now?"
"30"
"30! Are you out of your mind! It's too much"
"I know so let me get inside and have some coffee"
"But there's Haruno!"
"Who cares she won't recognize me and besides I have overused her Noble Phantasm tonight I'll be able to resist switching mode"
Shrugged Assassin making his way towards the door.
I tried to impose myself as a human barrier, but unfortunately, a tipsy Haruno suddenly opened the pub's door. The wooden panel crushed against my back pushing me in Assassin's arms.
"No nono no no"
Muttered Hachiman struggling to keep his balance.
"Jen have you done breathing..uh that came out weird"
Said my kouhai with a frown on her face.
It took her a couple of seconds to realize the situation, her eyes kept pointing at me, Assassin, me, Assassin and Assassin and me.
She blinked a couple of times and then said.
"You slut"
"Ah!"
I squeaked caught off guard.. how did she called me?
"I mean you have taste, but being in the arms of another man just the second I move my eyes away from you. Huge minus Jen "
Continued Haruno squaring from head to feet Hachiman.
"I think here this is some kind of misunderstanding here"
I said gulping down the shame.
Forgetting a tiny detail, I sucked at making excuses and I had no idea about what to say next.
In fact "He is the Assassin servant" Didn't sound as the smartest thing to say right now.
Luckily a helping hand arrived.
"So Janet is she the noisy underclass girl you always talk about at the cooking course?"
Said Assassin directing all the attention on himself.
"Uh noisy underclass girl, I guess it could be me"
Replied Haruno looking at Hachiman.
"No shit"
Nodded Assassin
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Asked Haruno with sweet and poisonous voice.
Receiving back only an emotionless response.
"You look younger than Janet and you're noisy"
"oh you are pretty rude sir, even though you didn't even introduce yourself"
"Said the kid that busted of a door pushing an innocent bystander in the hands of an even more innocent bystander who's only trying to get his drunk niece back at home"
Retorted Assassin softly hitting Saber on the head.
"..."
"..."
"Yukinoshita Haruno"
Said my kouhai introducing herself.
"Assin Serva"
...UHG, First Dammit Hikigaya get a freaking grip you can't go with an alias so lazy! I thought we had already gone through this topic.
Second, the situation is out of my control, third who ever went to a cooking course in the first place!
"What a peculiar name"
Grinned Haruno totally unfazed.
Oh dear, she didn't even seem suspicious, she was just continuing to look at Hikigaya's biceps.
"Oh please don't tell me, what I think is going to happen is going to happen"
I thought widening my eyes
"I get that a lot"
"Your niece seems heavy, why don't you enter the pub and rest for a moment"
"Why not, I wouldn't mind a drink"
SWEET MERCIFUL GOD, THEY WERE FLIRTING!
Nausea, disgust and an odd desire for chicken wings, all those feelings combined together in me as I watched Assassin and Haruno enter the pub.
"Okay Jeanne do something, anything, set on the fire alarm, blind yourself, just avoid to look at this...this. Ugh I don't even know how to call it"
I thought following the head of the unconscious Saber in the pub.
"Hey pops! It's been a while!"
Grinned the bartender seeing Hachiman.
"Shinai-Kun. How you doing?"
Greeted back Assassin with a nod.
"Better than usual."
What the actual fuck?! Assassin knew people, he could actually socialize with normal human beings?
"No more yellow nail, I see, you finally stopped smoking."
"Some creepy old man forced me to notice that hiding problems behind a vice was a problem itself."
Aaaahhhh Hachiman didn't socialize it was just the usual "my life is a mess, but I can always deal with other people's problems."
"...typical."
I scoffed while three cans of coffee appeared in front of Assassin.
Unfortunately, I had been so busy cringing at Haruno and Hachiman's reaction that I forgot another extremely problematic factor.
"Uh, you came back, talk about taking your time."
Lancer.
In a moment all the noise in the pub was erased from my ears, I could only see with glacial impotence, Assassin turning his head towards the other servant and making eye contact. Crimson and grayish orbs met each other, my brain split in two parts, one that was desperately screaming and trying to find a way to make this mess disappear... and the other that was trying to invent a punchline for a joke that started with: "two servants enter in a bar."
Yeah... I had to order more my priorities.
"So who's your friend here?"
Asked Cu Chullain sipping the nth shot of the evening.
Caught by surprise I didn't manage to say anything smarter than.
"Uh ah, Ehm."
The situation was really fucked up! I needed a miracle!
"Leave her be, her neuron is having some problems today, Hi I'm Assin Serva"
But I guess a grumpy old man could work too!
With a hair-thin smile, Hachiman extended his hand towards Lancer, from an outsider perspective everything would have seemed normal, but I knew exactly the meaning behind Assassin's expression... I believe in common vogue the translation should be: " FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK" and then a disturbing sequence of repressed screams.
Apparently, Assassin had immediately realized what kind of creature he was facing and quickly managed to erase his presence so he couldn't be detected as a servant.
I couldn't even imagine what kind of convoluted plans he was imagining to get out of here while casually moving Saber out of Lancer's field of view.
Assassin's mind
"two servants enter in a pub-"
"Uh, Assin? Peculiar name gives a nice Arabic tone I'm Lance nice to metch'ya"
Said Lancer ignoring the horrible alias and then gripping Assassin's hand with his usual easy-going behavior.
"My pleasure"
Retorted Hachiman in the same carefree manner while opening one of his Max coffee.
I'd like to say Assassin was handling the situation well, buuuuuuutttttttttt everyone could see he was a bit tense, and before anyone hypothesizes: no, he wasn't tense because of the life-threatening situation he was into.
"Man, are you drinking coffee in a pub? I am sorry that's a crime by my standards! Bartender bring 'nother bottle of booze to me and my new friend"
Simply, Hachiman wasn't comfortable with the sheer amount of friendliness Lancer was displaying.
"Aye"
Grunted the bartender slamming the bottle between the two servants.
"No really I shouldn't my niece is drunk and I just came here to charge up a little"
Said Assassin trying to getaway.
"Mou Serva-san you said, you could use a drink just a moment ago"
Intervened Haruno popping out of nowhere with another cocktail in her hands.
(I was going to see her puke tonight wasn't I?)
"I said a drink, not a bottle!"
Snapped Assassin trying to stand up.
Unfortunately in the blink of an eye Haruno and Cu Chullain appeared on Hachiman's shoulders pressing him on the chair, he suddenly found himself sandwiched between two of the scariest people I ever met.
Bracing myself I moved to rescue my legal guardian, but before I could be of any help Lancer had tamed Assassin with two simple words.
"my treat"
Hikigaya Hachiman suddenly stopped moving, he slowly tilted his head towards the servant of the spear and after a deep sigh said:
"Well now I can't say no can I"
10 minutes later I was busy playing with a glass of water, while Hachiman was drinking alcohol and coffee like they were nothing, Lancer kept telling weird edited stories of his myth and Haruno... I wasn't exactly sure: she first tried to spill her drink on the two servants and then on herself, unfortunately, Assassin seemed to be always a step ahead of her and stopped all her plans. So, in the end, Haru decided just to keep Assassin's and Lancer's glasses always full.
"And that's some odd behavior going on here" I'm surprised she didn't take the lead"
I thought looking my friend stopping to perform any of her direct hookup techniques
Tired of being part of the sidelines I switched seats with the unconscious Saber and placed myself next to Haruno.
"Sooooo what are you planning?"
I whispered in her ear.
"Well, the "Oh gosh you're all wet and oh gosh I'm all wet" didn't work, your friend got some nice reflexes, grabbed all the glasses, so I'm going to get them drunk. They look pretty ripped shouldn't be a problem carrying that girl to my place too"
She retorted with an incredibly straight face.
"pff good luck with that, they seem pretty tenacious on their alcohol"
I said with a grimace. Her plan wasn't going to work.
"Don't worry I have a plan B"
But apparently, Haruno had already taken into account a possible failure.
Fool lustful child, there was no way any of her plans were going to work tonight. Yet trying to seduce the two servants was probably a good way to keep her mind focused on something different from the hard times she was facing. So I decided to keep playing her game.
"Don't even try to use Roofies on them"
I said to make some comedy. But...
"Wha? How do you know?"
Everything just became a horror movie.
"Wait I was just messing with you! Do you want to drug them!?"
I squirmed scandalized.
"I don't want to,"
Replied Haruno studying her nails.
"But if I were to have to I wouldn't hesitate"
WHY COULDN'T I HAVE NORMAL FRIENDS!?
"Just don't please"
I begged her pressing my face in my hands.
This whole situation was out of my comfort zone: Sieg was fighting the lord knows where, Assassin was drinking with an enemy servant, Haruno was totally sinking under all the alcohol and the hormones flowing in her blood and there are other servants roaming around.
Could the universe throw me a bone?!
"Fine"
Suddenly replied Haruno.
"Thank GOD"
I thought appreciating the karma.
"However you help me score"
"...UGHHH is this how you play with me universe?! ten seconds of gratification and then years of torture? Ooooh, one day I'll have my REVENGE!
I swear upon my dying body ashes is the only thing that will remain
"AGH...mph... that came out way more aggressive than I expected"
I thought lost in my monologue.
Damn! Why did I think this night could help me relax? Okay okay, one problem at the time.
"fuuu, Haruno you want both of them? Impossible Assa- Assin has to go in five minutes"
I said to make a valid argument to shut up my kohai.
"Then you're saying there's no other way than the plan B"
Unfortunately the whole thing backfired.
"...No, technically yes, but...ehhhhwww you don't even know the dosage"
I blurted out of ideas! Negotiations weren't my thing.
I was good for sudden enlightenment, confessions and eventual bones breaking, I wasn't good at all in getting under a person's skin.
Especially if it was a person like her!
"Incorrect, in mother's box there were all the instructions"
"Why does she.. you know that sounds like a LOT of problems and I don't wanna get involved."
I sighed trying to reason with her at this point was useless.
"Haru...Just know that the package tells you how to use the drug for the medical use, not the other..."
Pushed by a last Christian pulsion I gave my final advice hoping this could get her sanity back.
"..."
Yet I just received a blank stare in return.
"..What?"
"You sound experienced"
"I-I No! I'm not!"
"Jen-sempai, I know about Sigh-sempai problem... and the various... let's call them, "corrective" strategies"
"Y-you do?!"
"Who the hell do you think answered his questions about what's the best "approach" with a girl "
"Anyone but you!"
"Mean... and com'on it's not like you learn all that stuff on books,"
"..."
"Oh God you used books!?"
"Hey look literally anything different from this conversation"
I said has the awkwardness of the conversation had reached the limit. There was only a certain number of people that can know if a woman's husband has erectile dysfunction, and if that number is higher than 1 there's a problem.
Escaping from my social problems I let Lancer have my and Haruno's attention.
He and Assassin were doing their nth cin-cin while talking about trivial matters: places they had seen, alcoholics they had tried and about...
"And so my teacher threw me a stick and told me: "let's see how long you can stand", can you imagine what happened next?"
Manly stuff I guess?
"let me think, let me think, Oh I know Lance-san. She... pulverized everything between your legs"
Chuckled Assassin poking Lancer's chest.
"Ah that's right I couldn't walk for the next three days! And my voice sounded like one of a brat for a month! AHAH how did you guess it?"
"Because I'd have done the same thing! Youngsters must immediately learn the first rule of combat"
He proclaimed raising his glass.
At that point as if a lighting had stuck my heart I recited the first lesson I learned on the battlefield.
"Strike hard and bring them on their knees"
"Strike hard and bring them on their knees"
"Strike hard and bring them on their knees"
Unfortunately that brought on me the unwanted attention of two people: in primis my kouhai that rose an eyebrow unable to imagine I was a battle-hardened warrior and in second place Lancer that looked at me with a glint in his eyes.
"Hell I knew you had fire in your belly missy, come closer and have a drink I bet you have tons of stories"
I hate my mouth!
A second later, doing the nth mistake of the evening, I accepted the drink and listened to Lancer's questions.
"So what are you trained in? Sword? Spear? Bow? Don't tell me you're a hammer type, I hate those guys"
At this point, I had already done my fair amount of fuck-ups so going in full denial mode wasn't going to help me. Sighing out all my pent up anxiety, I threw a subtle stare to Assassin telling him to get out and took down the glass of amber liquor.
"Mmh that's good"
I commented while the stares of Haruno and Lancer grew in intensity and curiosity.
"So, I'm sure you can already tell Lance, but I'll say it anyway I'm a spear-woman"
I proclaimed letting my questioners see my hands.
Haru didn't seem to understand the meaning behind my action, but Lancer immediately swiped his fingers on my palms.
The servant's warm fingertips quickly analyzed my calluses and after that, he put a smug on his face.
"Two meters, mostly used as a dull weapon, I'd ten years of experience...minimum, you're more hardcore than I expected missy"
Grinned the blue-haired servant while Assassin was quietly moving to retrieve the unconscious Saber.
Perfect everything was going as I had planned. Little problem my plan was already over.
"Eh yes my father, wanted me to learn how to defend myself"
I said using the most believable thing I could say: the truth
"Jen that's the first time I hear about this"
Fumbled Haruno putting her chin on top of my head and her hands around my shoulders.
Her breath strongly smelled of alcohol and she was probably way less lucid than I thou...ght, wait given the topics we were exploring two minutes ago... okay my bad I should have imagined she was this drunk.
"I guess you never asked Haru, and it's not like I can start juggling a spear around at work or while doing shopping"
"I bet that'd be quite a show"
Commented my kouhai sinking her face between my right shoulder and neck.
"What's your job again?"
Asked Lancer stealing from his bottle the last drops of amber liquor.
"I run a cafe with my husband, usually we run our own place "The Angel ladder", but a friend of my husband had some family issues and so we exchanged places for a month or so. Mmm is something drooling on my sh-iT Haru!"
I explained right before freaking out as I noticed my friend had passed away on my shoulder.
"Ah Lil girl couldn't handle her booze, pity, I bet she'd have given me a nice time"
"Please don't be gross"
I snorted accommodating Haruno on a stool as the chit chat of the pub gradually faded.
"..mph I guess I'll have to settle with my new homie, where is he?"
Asked Lancer looking around.
His red stare scanned the whole local searching for Assassin and unfortunately, he found him just before he managed to sneak out from the pub with Saber.
"Man are you ditching me, that cuts deep"
Groaned Lancer scratching his bandaged ear.
I wasn't sure if Lancer was trying the guilt trip technique, but I was certain Hachiman knew the perfect response.
"Sorry, I am looking for a committed relationship"
It was so clichè it almost hurt, but it definitely did the trick. Lancer found himself suddenly stripped from any possible response, he spent a couple of seconds trying to realize what was going on, but in the end, he just chuckled and send off Assassin with a grin.
As Hachiman came out of the door I was finally able to sigh in relief.
"Oh dear it's over, I can't believe it's over, UGHHHHHHH no more girls'-night-out for a while, just Netflix and chills."
I thought ready to pack all my stuff and leave.
This evening had been way too spiritually taxing for me. I only desired to get my coat, toss Haru in a cab and go to bed... possibly with some ice cream, and some caramel, and chocolate chips... sometimes I really didn't appreciate enough the fact that my body burned countless calories every day.
I'd be a ball if that wasn't the case.
"Sorry can I have the bill"
I asked the bartender.
Yet the only answer I received was silence.
"ehm hello is there anyone?"
I said looking over the counter.
My hair danced in front of my eyes as I lied forward, still the image of a young man snoring on the floor couldn't be stopped by just a couple of hair locks.
What was going on?
I rapidly turned my head to look around, I checked every angle of the local just to have my fear confirmed.
"Everyone's asleep!"
I screamed as a stream of adrenaline began to pump in my body.
Even Lancer was... wait minute.
"Hey what are you doing!"
I shouted looking at the servant.
"Seizing the loot"
He answered lying down on the counter while putting on the table several bottles.
"Listen missy, you're not asleep so you're clearly not human and I'm sure you didn't notice so I'll tell you, a battle between two servants is about to start, I'm get out of here before it's too late, you'd better take your friend and do the same, none in this area is going to remain safe."
"A battle between servants here? Assassin must have been tracked down, but how was it possible I didn't feel anyone coming? have I become so weak?"
I thought tightening my fists.
"We must evacuate the area"
I said putting my hand on Lancer's shoulder.
"We? I don't have to do a thing missy"
Retorted him pushing my hand away.
"I have already had my fair number of fights tonight, and I'd gladly avoid to die today."
"But there's plenty of innocent people around!"
"Yeah, truly sorry 'bout them, but I already lived as a hero once helped people and shit, didn't bring me as much joy as many would imagine, I just saved a bunch of nobodies and let to die the one I loved... this time I think I'll just focus on what I really care about."
"But..."
"LISTEN MISSY"
Cried Lancer staring through my skull with his crimson eyes.
"... one life spent for others is more than enough"
He said showing the bitter side of his persona.
"Shitty morality and acting all goody won't give me back what I lost, nor will protect what I have. Do the best thing for you and get out of here."
My throat suddenly dried, Lancer's words cut through me like razors of cold iron, it was like every sound that came out from his mouth wanted to hit me where it hurt the most. For the first time ever the Celtic hero in front of my eyes didn't look like a hero at all, and not even as a warrior thirsty of battle that just wanted to " compete" in the holy grail war. He looked like me in my sleepless nights... he looked like a tired man... he looked like a human he looked just like me.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM
A sudden explosion made all the windows of the pub shatter, shards of glass fell all over the place. Any normal person would have tried to take cover, but both Lancer and I were servants, glass shoot at that speed wasn't enough to even bother us. So we managed to observe in all his might a black-coated man literally going through the wood door.
A loud CRACK! Filled the air rapidly succeeded by:
"Fuc! Hel! GOD!"
What I presumed were cursing words.
The man had crashed against a couple of chairs before landing in the counter right in the middle of Lancer and me.
"Owo-ho-how I hate my life"
He groaned taking out from his arm a piece of wood.
At this point, I didn't even need to look at his face to realize his identity, but unfortunately, I wasn't the only one.
"Assin?"
Said Lancer dropping half of the bottles he was holding.
"Wait is he still not going to realize it?"
I thought before blue servant allowed the two neurons in his brain to work.
"Gasp! Assassin?! Assin you're the Assassin servaaaaaaannnnnnn-... hell how didn't I see that one coming"
"My hotness distracted you, buddy, also I kept drugging your shots... you have one hell of a liver"
Replied Hachiman still stuck in the counter.
"Are you both fine?"
He asked quickly glancing to Lancer and me
Now given how the IVs in his eyes were glinting softly and he was acting all concerned, Assassin could have seemed genuinely worried... from an outsider perspective. But I knew Hikigaya Hachiman better than this.
He wasn't checking if we were unharmed, no. He already knew we were fine, he had scanned the whole pub before even landing. He was composing the correct sequence of words and action to make us do what he wanted.
"I suggest you run away, this mess is mine...kukukuku"
Grinned Assassin standing up.
I mean look at him! He was showing a brave and bold side to get Lancer's help, yeah, a few stains of blood-colored his otherwise pitch-black clothes, however, he didn't seem too badly injured. How can I say it was like Assassin was trying to create some intense scene for whatever action movie.
Seriously I could imagine the script:
Ehm, Tough protagonist: "This is my battle Bla bla bla."
Rival/Ally: " *laugh if someone has to kill you that will be me, so don't die now"
Or geez just think to the most generic speech ever and sprinkle testosterone on it, the results are the same.
"-ah Lancer you must be crazy"
Said Assassin while Lancer changed in his armor and moved right next to him.
WAIT DID I JUST MISS THE GENERIC SPEECH!
"I never said I was Lancer"
Retorted the blue servant.
Oh God, I did! Did they do the Predator handshake? If they did I demand another take to record it!
"Maybe choose a better alias next time"
"Pff. Right back at you son of a bitch"
Clap!
"Okay perfect now I got the to see it, now I can make fun of Assassin forever if I don't die"
I thought shrugging my shoulders.
I was sure Hachiman was ready to say something to force me to fight. I didn't even dared to hope he wouldn't drag me in this mess, after all, I was at least in the top 3 of the servants in the war, my defensive ability from both magical and physical attacks was unmatched, my raw strength was remarkable to be humble and even without the use of offensive Noble phantasm I could pack quite the punch.
Let's be honest I was pure fury in a smart package high one meter and fifty-nine, lacking in mana or not, Ruler or not Ruler only an idiot wouldn't want me on his side, but no sir I was loyal to my duty I wasn't going to help him so easily.
"Gamine..."
And there he goes.
"Get out of here"
Wait what?
"WHAT?"
I voiced my narrative speech.
"Get out, you can't handle a fight against both Berserker and Archer. LEAVE. NOW."
He said summoning from his shadow two tiny foxes that turned in glowing rings around his wrists.
"ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU DIDN'T LAST FIVE MINUTES BEFORE! YOU'RE NOT IN THE POSITION OF NOT REQUESTING HELP"
I screamed leaving behind anything that could be called calm or composure.
What the hell was he doing? Sure Hachiman had replenished a respectable amount of mana from his earlier "Coffe pause", but still he had just come out from a 3 vs 1! All the fatigue he had build-up was still present for goodness' sake!
Oh, I knew this situation required an ice-cold glare! Something so arctic to make him revise all his life choices.
*Glare
"Meet my eyes. Meet my eyes you prick!"
I thought practically piercing his skull with a stare while he kept keeping his head down.
"Hey mate a sword extra is better than one less"
Commented Lancer before meeting my eyes.
As our glares crossed he suddenly lowered his head muttering something like: "Scàthach is not here, she is not here she is not here"
"Geez, there goes all my anger..."
I thought observing the pitiful sight of a grown man such as Lancer crawling in a ball on the floor.
I had probably triggered a trauma or something.
Do you want to accept the download of the file [Data of Cù Chullain]?
[Yes] [No]
God not now. NO
Are you really sure?
[Yes] [No]
Yes
Is your definitive answer?
[Yes] [No]
Geez YES!
"This isn't getting anywhere!"
I groaned pushing my fingers down my cheeks
"I'm going to help youuuuuuuuuu... you're bluffing. THIS IS REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, You tell me to get out of here to make me stay! To make me go against my duty!"
I shouted pointing at him!
"Well that figures"
Retorted Hachiman raising his head and laughing straight to my face.
This... this ASS, why did I even waste time to worry about him, in this case he erased all kinds of emotions just to obtain the most favorable outcome.
"Gosh, I HATE this side of you!"
I grunted shoving the unconscious Haruno on my shoulder.
"I know, I know, but it's mostly this side of me that will keep you and the brat alive, check on him if I'm too slow."
He said averting his stare from my face.
"Sure. Try to move the fight out of here, I'll avoid casualties "
I sighed grabbing and dragging other unconscious people towards the backdoor.
"You know I will"
Before leaving I only heard one last conversation between Assassin and Lancer.
"Now Lancer get up... No, your teacher isn't here, no she isn't... your balls? Yeah still there. Heck no I don't wanna check! Do it yourself!... See... wait have you been in a let's call it black muddy prison recently?... Fuck I knew it! RESONARE AUTEM MEMORIAS... Ugh get closer if I don't treat you, you'll get useless as soon as you get a flashback!... Wait this isn't a special case? What do you mean with "every time I think of her I go in this state"!? Listen don't ruin your character any further, for now, try to stick to your badass role, I'm sure you'll find some a spinoff Holy Grail War to become everyone's laughing stock".
Evacuate a few dozens of unconscious civilians. Easy.
WRONG! DAMN HARD!
Especially if you don't want to waste mana to enchant yourself! What were so many people doing out at this hour, there have been murders all over Fuyuki! Why was this generation so paranoid about calories intake and dumb memes, but so lax about with their own survival! And please none dares to say "maybe they don't know" this is not the 14th-century news don't come after months: in this age, if someone sneezes during an Instagram direct, half of the world can know it by dinner time!
"Damn where do I put all of them!? Uh I'm sure there was something big and useless around here"
I groaned after having amassed everyone I could find in a secondary street.
Moving without getting noticed by Archer and Berserker should have been difficult, but luckily they were busy assaulting a bunch of humanoid shadows that kept moving between the road and the roofs... tiny note, with assaulting I meant obliterating, Berserker dominated the land tearing apart any shadow close enough to his fists, while Archer kept sniping one after one all the shadows jumping in the sky.
They were surely Hachiman's familiars but, I had never seen them before, they looked like simple dummies meant to act as a bait and possibly as an armor for their user, however, they all had different silhouettes and managed to perform pretty stunning movements.
Something was off... namely Hikigaya's noble Phantasm: Kitsune dorobō.
Technically the Phantasm was a magic tome, with the ability to store hundreds of spells inside its pages, analyze mysteries and generate familiars... but to be more pragmatic it's just a pile of fox shaped post-its with weak spells written on.
Basically, kitsune dorobō was a leather notebook with 300 pages. Each page could be converted in an intelligent fox familiar and every fox could scan mysteries and contain a pre-casted spell.
Illusions, attacks, defenses almost any kind of spell could be stored inside the notebook, however every spell could only be codified in a single page and replenishing them on spot was practically impossible.
SOOOOO at the end of the day, Kitsune dorobo was a pretty weak artifact, more akin to a multi-use knife than an actual weapon.
The point is, Hachiman's Noble Phantasm wasn't something that could be used on a whim. It needed preparation and I seriously doubted it was able to create so many familiars different from foxes with such complex moves sets.
Like that bulky one, he just dodged to hits from Berserker crawling down two times, then stepped forward and... did the kamehame-whatever move? Oh, wait now it got destroyed.
Ignoring what just happened I still had one question "How was he doing it?"
BOOM
Then some kind of arrow exploded above my head and my priorities got re-ordered.
Civilians first. Old man second. Snack third. Lancer...uh... yeah.
"Com'on com'on there has to be somewhere I can put all of them"
I thought scanning all the surrounding area.
I knew there was the perfect place somewhere around here.
"Think Jeanne, think you came here... two weeks ago, Sieg had that shirt you bought 50% off, his face was red... aww it was so cute... DAMMIT FOCUS! Red face why did he have a red face? Public smooching? No! Was he embarrassed? Nah I'm the one that gets flustered he... he was tired because had he played with Assassin at air hockey, but it was a version that made electronic sounds... Gosh, I can't believe they spent an hour trying to play Megalovania...so air hokey that means there some kind of Arcade around.
Ah, there it is! My beautiful useless arcade!"
I exclaimed looking towards an old building lighted by green neon.
It was probably the only place around here big enough to stuff all in the people, also it was relatively far from the battle, but I could still quickly check out what was happening from the higher windows.
"Com'on Jeanne elbow grease"
I said shoving my foot against the door.
*TUM
"...fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkk"
I groaned holding my leg.
AAAAAAHHHH why was that damn door so sturdy! Wait not why, but how! Even weakened I should have reduced that thing in pieces.
Forget helping Assassin, forget being a Ruler I was so weak I couldn't even open a door! DAMN, I was hopeless.
"Now what do I do?"
I groaned putting my forehead against the door.
...
"Okay it's official I'm stupid"
I said reading the pull sign on the door.
As I sighed in relief I discovered the door was open, the arcade looked empty but I could still hear the sound of different games going on, so I guessed that all the people that were still here at this hour had been knocked out.
"Well this place should be perfect"
I said shoving the unconscious bodies one after one in the arcade.
"Sorry Haru *thun and with this, it's over"
I grinned after I completed my masterful transport of human luggage.
Oh dear, I was all sweaty, I wanted a shower! Or better a trip to the apartment's spa. Yeah, warm stones all over my body, callouses elimination, and all that other stuff.
"Jeanne, dear Jeanne, stop indulging in this tempting thoughts and go to see what the hell is going on okay? Okay"
I told myself slapping my cheeks, a decade in this century and all my endurance against earthly vices had gone to the other world.
I truly was no saint.
Quickly finding the emergency stairs I climbed on the roof of the arcade. As I came outside the cool wind began to slash my face, normally I would have shrugged but at this point, I had bigger concerns than the temperature, so I ignored everything and directed my stare towards the road I came from.
Dark silhouettes were dancing on the roofs trying to avoid crimson bullets, the numbers were clearly inferior in comparison to a few minutes ago and it kept shrinking. I still had no idea how could so many shadows exist in the first place and actually resisting for so long against Archer and Berserker.
Why? Well because to put it in kind terms the situation was desperate.
Assassin had chosen as foes probably the worst couple servants of the whole Holy Grail War, really the pair that dominated long-range attacks and close combat; fighting them alone was pure madness. I could see why Hachiman had done everything possible to get Lancer's support and used so many pages of his notebook in magical baits.
At this point he was probably planning a counter-attack with Lancer using every second his familiars could buy him.
"Still I don't see Saber anywhere around"
I grimaced scanning all the side streets.
Did Assassin put her inside one of those shadows? Nah it would have been too risky.
"If I was the old man what would I do with an unconscious servant like Saber? First I wouldn't kill her because switching mode to have an offensive phantasm would mean losing all the familiars that are keeping busy Archer and Berserker. Also attempting the deed with a simple weapon or magic would mean wasting resources against Saber's dexterity and magical defenses... plus the risk of waking her up.
So I'd say Hachiman just reinforced the illusion to keep her down and had his fox hide her somewhere... but what if she managed to wake up and started moving... he must have bugged Saber!"
I realized grabbing my smartphone.
"Siri open MyTraker"
"Opening MyTraker"
Yes, I have an app to follow all the bugs Sieg and Assassin place. And to be fair it was by far one of the best choices I ever made. You think that with the limited emotional spectrum of my guys they'd be able to control their quirks in a mature way... Wrong. Wrong, wrong... Sieg used to be neutral to almost everything, but as he started to developed interests and hobbies he began to have several attitudes that... overstepped common sense: I never saw those passionate acts as a problem, no, I actually felt happy that he was able to genuinely love something... however things kind of got out of hand as he started to use military-grade tools to track the deposits were various manga in limited edition were stored.
Assassin on the other hand just liked to use the nanomachines to hear other people's business because, and here I quote, "He was bored of listening to the mediocre teen rom-com Sieg and I kept on and needed something new".
Thus I now knew when and where they used spy robots... someone had to keep an eye on them. And the fact that they also checked whenever I bugged food trucks is only a side effect.
"25 bugs currently in use"
I read observing a bunch of red points spread across Fuyuki.
Moving my fingers on the screen I removed the markers older than a day and made sure to highlight only the one placed by Assassin.
Only 3 points remained on the screen one was in Fuyuki's residential district, another close to Fuyuki's artificial lake and the last...
"Exactly here"
I muttered tapping on my clothes.
I couldn't believe it he bugged me! How? When? Why?!
"Yeah... why?"
I thought as I began to digest the info I just got.
Hachiman wouldn't have any good reason to put a bug on me, plus the other two signals were too far.
"So that means"
I said doing a few side steps while the red point stayed still.
Saber was in this building.
Using my phone I began to roam for the arcade trying to find on which floor Assassin had hidden Saber. After cheking most floors I found myself in front of a suspicious wall. Now I know, how can a wall be suspicious? Let's say that the wall itself wasn't suspicious but it's position, well that was another deal.
The arcade was four stores tall, and the basic layout of every floor was the same, yet on the second floor there was in a hallway there was a door less than on the other floors. So well the wall where there was supposed to be a door was suspicious.
Extending my hands I touched the "wall", but instead of the feeling of concrete, my hand felt cool metal.
"An illusion obviously"
I thought, opening the door.
I didn't bother to check for any traps: the magical defense of the ruler class was enough to deal with whatever spell Hachiman prepared. Luckily there were no traps just... a bunch of foxes playing games.
"UH?"
I volubly said to convey all my confusion.
The whole room was filled with nearly 80 foxes. A third of them that was playing Street Fighter with their furry pawns, another of the foxes had their tails stuck in the games and the last third was sat in circle making weird symbols appear in the air.
None of the magical animals seemed to notice my presence too absorbed in their own tasks, So I walked across the room and stretched to see what the foxes were looking at.
On each of their monitor there was a different angle of the street where Archer and Berserker were, every fox was controlling a 2D character that moved across the screen while several NPC just moved randomly.
Suddenly I felt the desire of slamming my palm on my face grow, and actually I did smack my hand on my face. I couldn't believe it that mad man used fighting games to fight the actual holy grail war... I didn't know if I was impressed or utterly scandalized by the level of autism.
"But I guess Hikigaya Hachiman is Hikigaya Hachiman"
I said observing that most of the foxes kept playing at the game even if game-over was written on the screen.
Judging from the efficiency of the place Assassin must have planned this room long ago. I wasn't an expert, but I could tell that the main structure of this... augmented reality game were the foxes sat in circle, they probably maintained the connection between the foxes that kept controlling Archer and Berserker and the ones stuck in the games. They exchanged input and output signals for the shadow familiars that at this point I believed were barely more than 3D shadows. It was even likely that they couldn't procure any harm. They were just a decoy after all, plus since Berserker had his cognitive abilities reduced and Archer used long-range attacks they couldn't realize they had been playing with over-glorified balloons.
Finishing my detour of the room I finally found the person I was searching: Saber. Her thin figure was lying in a corner of the room while her face drolled on the floor, I'll be honest if it wasn't that she was absolutely gorgeous it would have been pretty disgusting.
"This is weird... leaving her without any guard. Something feels off"
I said looking around.
"Please, please no booby traps"
I silently begged until I noticed that all the foxes had began to fade.
What the hell was going on? Was the decoy over? Dammit, I couldn't come up with a single answer. The only thing I managed to do was moving close to Saber and cover her with my own body expecting an explosion but...
Nothing happened... the light went away for a second, all the noise made by the arcade games stopped at once and for an endless moment I found myself surrounded by silence.
TZZZZ TZZZZZZ
Static noise began to come out form a single game and then a clear imagine appeared. It was the street of before but this time Archer and Berserker were accompanied by a black swirling cloud that kept becoming wider and wider.
"ASSASSIN!"
Screamed Archer letting loose a rain of crimson arrows.
"Wrong, guess again!"
Retorted Lancer's cocky voice bursting out of the cloud with his spear held straight while all Archer's arrows got deflected by a mysterious force.
"Lancer, how!"
Muttered the tanned servant caught in surprise.
Surprise that lasted just a moment, as he managed to dodge Lancer's blade by the skin of his teeth.
"How am I here? I'd say I'm like you. I just made a new friend"
Replied Lancer stopping with the Gae Bolg a pair of twin swords Archer just summoned.
Sparks of metal began to lit the night as the servants exchanged blows at frightening speed. They started to dance at the tempo of slashes and lunges, none of them seemed able to top the other and both of them didn't want to give up; their fight might have continued for the whole night, unfortunately, after a few moments of battle a roar tore the air.
"RGAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Berserker had decided to join the fight.
Crushing the ground under his immense strength the mad servant had jumped towards Lancer swinging his sword-ax. I could already see Lancer cut in two parts but then... he smiled
"Assassin now!"
Screamed him as a hand broke through the roof of the building under his feet and dragged him down.
Lancer disappeared in cloud of dust, just before a ring of light, large as car, rose up in his place. The ring surrounded both Berseker and Archer and then tightened in a flash trapping the two servants together.
"WAAAAAAAAAA!"
Suddenly Assassin's distinctive voice roared making the light ring spin out of control and slam all over the place dragging the two servants along.
All the buildings in that area got trashed under the power of a demolition ball made out of two servants. Towers of dust and debris filled the air until nothing was left to see.
The noise was too much I couldn't understand a thing, then a green arrow broke out from that chaos freezing the building where Lancer and Assassin were hidden. Only a moment after and Berserker came out charging against the building to the ground and leveling to the ground.
Debris scattered everywhere, the only visual I was getting was a mess, yet I managed to notice two blurs, one black and the other blue, jumping across pieces of walls ad other stuff.
"Berserker get Lancer!"
Shouted Archer summoning his bow and shooting another ail of arrows.
Eight arrows of different colors dashed against Lancer aiming right to his torso. No matter Lancer's dexterity if those shots hit him it was game over, I could tell it, each of those arrows contained a frightening amount of power, still... Lancer didn't even acknowledge them as treat he just charge through.
"You just don't learn, do you?"
Roared Lancer as all the arrows got deflected by the same invisible force as before.
"Bold of you to assume, you were my target"
Grinned Archer as the deflected arrows moved right against Assassin.
All the arrows exploded in jewel-like flames blocking Hachiman on every front. He was going to become a tasty crisped servant, however, before it was too late a fox jumped out from Hachiman's sleeve and turned in the same light ring that he used a few moments ago. The ring began to rotate forming a sphere around Assassinthat tanked most of the incoming attack, but of course, it wasn't enough, the sheer power of those arrows shot Assassin across the street making him crash against a light-pole.
"Bastard!"
Screamed the blue servant as his ally fell on the ground.
In a crimson flash, Lancer brought down his spear on Archer's head, still, the servant of the bow generated a scimitar at the last moment and used its curve blade to gently deflect Lancer's blow.
*SWIIIN
The Gae Bolg slammed against the asphalt sending debris everywhere, Lancer's eyes widened in a combination of surprise, spite, and curiosity, while the rest of his expression was unreadable... mostly because Archer had sent his boot straight on the blue servant's nose.
*Crack
The sound of bones breaking made me chill as Lancer crashed in what remained of the building Berserker... got close to.
"Okay that's not going well, like at all"
I said observing the moveless Assassin and the groaning Lancer.
It was clear that both of them weren't in their peak form: Assassin had been fighting all night while Lancer was missing an ear and despite not having used much mana he seemed sloppy, it was like he couldn't properly channel the strength in his limbs. AND to had more gasoline on the fire Archer had just gotten serious he had just summoned a new weapon and adopted a fighting style totally different from before.
"This looks bad"
I thought while my hand reflexively extended ready to summon my flag.
"Hey ass, just who are you?" You got swords, a bow, and a ridiculous hair cut if I give you a trim starting from the neck will you tell me who the hell you are?"
Asked Lancer jumping away from Berserker's sword-ax
"Tempting"
Grinned Archer observing the two servants engaging each other in a fight.
"However I'm sorry Lancer tonight you'll be the big guy's guest, I have another opponent"
*BOOOMMM
Leaving an afterimage behind Archer dashed towards Assassin, His sword flashed like a snake's fang right against Assassin's throat.
"Hikigaya!"
I screamed.
This was too much to handle, I was summoning him back with a command seal, or at least that was what I was going to do until I saw one last fox jump out Hachiman's shadow and intercept Archer's scimitar.
*FUUHAAAAMMMM
An explosion of smoke clouded the whole street.
TZZZ
The screen was shaken again by static images and then the video returned to work, this time projecting a different camera shot.
Apparently this new foxy reporter was terribly close to Archer since I could see the tanned servants outline even through all the heavy smoke.
Pam Pam Pam
Thin Thin Thin
Three gunshots followed by the sound of three slashing sounds suddenly invaded the audio.
"YEAH GET HIM ASSASSIN! ATTA BOY"
I thought realizing the battle was far from over.
"The scimitar of the elite forces of Süleyman the magnificent, that's some rare stuff you got there Archer"
Said Assassin moving in the smoke.
"Only 100 of them forged, and probably less than ten arrived to this day if I'm not wrong those swords had the power to cut through illusions, "Reveal the true way", or something like that to sound more poetic. I have to say though yours is not that great for cutting bullets, I got your cheek am I right Archer?"
He asked staying hidden.
"Sheer luck, however, I'm surprised you have kin eye Assassin, not many can recognize this blade."
"Believe me the fact that there's engraved "elite forces of Süleyman the magnificent" on the hilt gave me a hint"
"... you can read Arabic."
"I can read Arabic"
"Well isn't that interesting"
Grinned Archer lowering his stance.
"Indeed like the fact you possess a sword that has nothing to do with the two twin swords you used until a minute ago. Age and origin don't match up also their condition is way too perfect, many people would say that's a nice riddle, but... I know a thing many people do not, can you guess it, Archer?"
"I'd say my identity, after all, it's not the first time we have faced each other, you don't have your tattoos but I remember you... Snake."
"Ohoh ho so you have realized Counter guardian of iron, I'm truly tempted to say it's a pleasure to meet you, but we all know what happened the last four times we saw each other. To be honest thanks to the Rooth I only have faint memories of your face or of any other counter guardian, but you know after our little scuffle I'm sure about your identity and also that you looked far more cool when you had your hair shorter and used guns."
"... what?"
"Oh right... you kind of weren't in you at that time. Too much edge for you to handle. Ignore it...ehm ehm with that said I always thought it would have been much fun to share one plate of locusts one day; you counter guardians are all such a fascinating rotten bunch."
"Can't deny it... but we'll never seat at the same table and as now I'm sure you know who I am... I don't have to hold back anymore, prare yourself your war ends now."
"... Pff Bring it on bitch"
"I am"
"Kitsune Dorobo"
"The bone of my sword"
"Light series"
Lightings of mana, ominous lights and the ground itself crumbling into pieces, that's how the scenery looked when two servants decided to go all out.
As if a hurricane had just decided to strike in the center of Fuyuki the smoke around the two servants got pushed aside forming a ring for them. Proud and fierce Assassin and Archer were standing just a few feet from each other, their killing intent was so much even I could feel the mystic pressure they were releasing.
Two super-predators of the Moonlit world had pushed aside their limitation and committed to a single mission: Win.
"AH!"
"GHA!"
With a war cry they both dashed, Archer lowering his scimitar and Hachiman covering his forearms with twelve rings of light.
*Boom
A sonic boom shook the screen and then my eyes landed upon the restless battle of the most technical warriors I ever saw.
Slamming his hands together Assassin caught Archer's blade, the earth trembled, but Hachiman didn't even flinch, he swept aside the scimitar and did a back-flip.
*THUN Assassin's foot smashed on Archer's chin, the tanned servant got pushed off the ground while Hachiman waited to be parallel to it to materialize a ring under his soles. Assassin tensed his muscles to the limit and pushed his feet on the ring using it as a stepping stone. Like an arrow of golden light, he shot himself against Assassin ready to land a solid enchanted punch on Archer's face, however the latter twisted in midflight and dodged the devastating blow.
"Trace on"
The scimitar suddenly disappeared from Archer's hands replaced by two strings of mana that twisted on each other and on Assassin's ankle before becoming a red Kusarigama (sickle chain).
"WAH!"
With a rough scream, Archer landed on the ground his hands tightened around the sickle and pulled with the power only a servant could muster. Assassin was dragged down on earth with, crushing on the ground and sending shards of road everywhere, but it wasn't over yet. Archer lost no time, the moment Hachiman landed the tanned servant immediately bang to whirl the chain adding more and more rings of metal around Hachiman's leg while a red hot gleam lighted up the whole weapon.
"AAHHHGGG"
Groaned Assassin as the chain began to scorch his leg, trying to free himself Assassin threw against Archer two of the rings he had around his forearms... only to have Archer dodge thFem with ease.
The red servant grinned increasing the temperature of his weapon.
"Is that all you go-*BAM BAM BAM"
Without even letting Archer conclude his provocation, Assassin drew his guns and began to release a storm of bullets against Archer.
The left leg left shoulder and the right hip of the red servant got pierced by the projectiles, however, as Archer recognized the threat he started to use his weapon to block all the incoming attacks until Assassin's magazines emptied.
"Ugh you're good chocolate guy, cut all my bullets, but none covers your back"
Grinned Assassin the moment the two rings he threw before returned back and exploded on Archer's shoulders.
*BOOOMMM
Archer got shot right against Hachiman, who didn't waste the occasion to jump on his feet and kick Archer in his ribs with his chained leg.
"URGHHH"
The servant of the bow arched forward under the sheer amount of strength, still, it wasn't enough to defeat him. Bracing himself Archer suppressed the pain and swung his sickle towards Assassin's face, a blazing arc lit the air between the two servants, but before the blow connected the nth fox familiar appeared for Assassin's shadow and jumped to bite Archer's arm.
The red hot blade still left a bloody arc on Hachiman's chest but thanks to the little furry fox his neck was spared. Gritting his teeth Assassin pushed Archer back while entangling the latter's arm and neck in the same chain that trapped him.
*FTZZZ
The same sound of a steak getting grilled filled the air... mmmm steak, No No Jeanne head in the game the stakes are too high to get distracted. Get it stakes... why none's ever around when I'm funny
Having said that.
Archer found himself trapped in his own red-hot weapon ceased to fed mana to the Kusarigama, and focused only on the melee combat between him and Assassin. In fact not even chained to one another the two servants decided to stop, they kept exchanging blow after blow using the chain around them to manipulate each other's movements.
Like puppets that wanted to become the puppeteer.
Punches, kicks and all kinds of blows mixed in what looked like an extremely eccentric dance among two partners that couldn't decide if they wanted to stick as close as they could or as far as possible.
Observing their exchange it was clear that Archer was physically superior, each of his attacks was worth the double of Assassin's ones and with his superior strength, he was the one that kept mayor control over the chain. Still, Hachiman's fighting style was all about battling superior opponents, Assassin used every chance he got to absorb Archer's blow and send them back with interest while managing to clearly read Archer's future moves.
I found mesmerizing how an Assassin that's supposed to work from the shadows and an Archer meant to fight from long range could show such amazing skills in close combat.
"RHAAAAAAA!"
Roared Archer driving his fist on Assassin's face that unexpectedly...just tanked it.
"URGHH"
"UH?"
Groaned both servants one in pain the other in surprise.
That one last punch was something Assassin could easily dodge, no something Archer expected him to dodge, a punch with not that much power in it. What Hachiman was expecting.
Grabbing Archer's arm with one hand Assassin kept the punch of the tanned servant stick to his face not to let him escape, all while the rings of light on the freehand began to spin and glow.
A flash... and then Assassin's fist met Archer's face at supersonic speed.
*TWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAM
The wind howled and for a moment I expected to see Archer's head fly away, but I only got to see a bunch of silver blades fall off Archer's cheek, a defense of some sort I guessed, but it was weird it was almost like his body had become steel for a moment.
Both the two men found themselves with a fist on the face and the eyes of their opponent right before theirs. For an instant, they stayed still.
TZZZZZ
The video began to get distorted again, the imagines kept coming and going, but something didn't feel right: Archer's eyes sometimes appeared golden instead of silver, while his hair seemed to get random red spots, but the freaky part wasn't over, Assassin's IVs randomly glitched to VIII and both the servants looked shorter and with scarves for a few frames.
Maybe the magical transmission was getting weaker and the sprites of Tekken were overlapping with the two servants.
TZZZ
"Foxes go!"
Shouted Assassin letting loose from his shadow five familiars.
With tiny howls, the little beasts went to bite the chain that blocked Hachiman and Archer ripping it apart.
Archer gasped in surprise, he couldn't know that Assassin's noble phantasm could analyze mystic codes, probably Assassin had spent the last minutes to analyze the chain in order to break it. But still, it was impossible he could code a destruction spell right now unless.
"oh you that stole my time
appear at my side and please
...
don't leave me alone
I don't know how to love"
He used the real name of his Noble Phantasm.
"Teach me the most basic elements of all"
( Oshiete Iroha no i)
教えて イロハのイ
Now let's be concise Kitsune dorobo is a notebook made to store pre-casted spell and then use them. Calling the true name of this phantasm reversed cause and effect, for 300 seconds Assassin could use all the spells he could think of even if they exceeded the 300 limit, however, the diary will remain useless until all the spells used get written again and all the mana owned paid back.
To be fair I didn't expect or hope to see this particular Phantasm in action so soon in the war. It was Assassin's ace in the hole, I mean his only real ace in the hole a weapon that could be released at any moment and that could actually put an end to a battle.
"Father don't do anything stupid"
I begged silently still hidden in the arcade.
Starring at Hachiman's fight I couldn't help but feel a weird sensation across my whole body, it was like boiling mud was filling my stomach. I was torn apart by the indecision I wanted to help my family, but I was terrified by the idea of the grail worsening my mana situation if I was to go against the role I have been given.
It felt disgusting knowing to be able to make a difference but being stuck in a filthy arcade with only a drolling girl to keep me company.
"DAAAAHHHHHH! I hate this"
I said destroing a random game with a punch.
"I don't know what's the right thing to do"
I thought ripping out of my head some blonde and silver hair.
Wait silver, how come that I had silver hai-BATHUN!
Before I could finish wondering a tiny fox with a message on its back sneaked behind me.
It was a familiar meant for searching a precise person Assassin must have had programmed this one while activating the true name of his Phantasm.
"Hey little one what do you have for me?"
I said kneeling in front of the fox before the little thing jumped in my hand and turned in a simple piece of paper.
It was a fully written page, pretty unusual since Assassin preferred to be concise. With my tongue, I wetted the tip of my index and started to go through the text. After each word, I could feel my anger grow stronger and once I needed my reading I just crumpled the whole thing and summoned my armor.
Without my knowledge, my eyes began to glow of yellow and completely ignoring Saber I jumped out of the window.
"OH THAT USELESS DEAD EYED IDIOT! HE DID A TRIPLE BLUFF TO GO OUT WITH STYLE! DAMN I'LL BROKE HIS ANKLES WITH STYLE"
In the meantime
"WWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Hachiman's roar tore the night while from his shadow the figure of a woman rose up.
It looked like she was made of folded paper, she looked beautiful, but her appearance lasted in this world only a couple of seconds as she hugged Assassin's back and shattered in thousands of pages that flew almost everywhere.
Many of them immediately turned in magic seals around Hachiman and started to shoot Archer that in the meantime had recovered and built up his mana.
"steel is my body"
Chanted the tanned servant charging restless.
Bolts of power flowed live rivers out Archer, he summoned his twin blades and cut down all the mana bullets incoming, still his eyes nearly didn't notice them he was only focused on Assassin.
That with a war cry.
"COME!"
Followed Archer's example running straight against opponent with the rings of light around his arms brighter than ever.
Like two stray lightnings the two servants clashed, or at least they passed really close to each other ducking the blows of their opponent. And so it began a short-ranged confrontation between Archer and Assassin, burning the ground itself with the speed of their feet the two men slashed and thrust their weapon of choice; Assassin had decided to stick with the light rings he had used through all the fight, but this time he was grabbing them in his hands and using them like circular knives while Archer kept materializing and smaterializing swords and spears of every length and origin.
It was almost like Assassin was fighting dozens of different opponents that could switch at any moment, just keeping up with the sudden arrival of a new weapon must have been incredibly taxing on mind level.
Archer was truly going all out adapting in a single deadly dance so many different fighting styles, truly a one-man army, however, he simply couldn't reach Assassin since he kept summoning laser-shooting rings, stepping points and foxes to maintain a tridimensional fighting style and a continuous assault from all directions.
Archer couldn't have a moment to breathe, but that didn't bother him he just became faster and faster. In fact, it was a question of a few moments before the weapons of the two servants began clashing and sending sparks everywhere. Archer assault was incredibly aggressive and versatile, Assassin couldn't adapt fast enough to his opponent's moves to counter-attack.
"GHA!"
With one last desperate grunt Hachiman threw the halos he held in his hands against Archer, who just danced between them, only to be greeted by a barrage of over enchanted fists.
Releasing all the energy left within the rings around his arms Assassin covered his fists in pure golden light and started to battle Archer in a wild storm of attacks. Fists against blades.
They were both too fast for the video, I could only grasp blur frames and hear the shock waves after each blow. They kept going like that until Hachiman stopped with his bare fingers Archer's twin blades and kicked him in the guts, pushing him on the edge of the smoke ring that confined them.
"Okay... I'm done"
Said Assassin as he fell on his knees completely out of breath.
"I have pushed myself too much gah... sigh"
"Mph so you admit defeat"
Grunted Archer struggling to stand straight, he had taken quite the beating too also lost a lot of blood.
"Never said that I just said I'm done... with my plan UHGWAAAA!"
Roared Hachiman extending his hand forwards.
Suddenly the smoke surrounding the two servants disappeared and 500 kg of Berseker trapped in light rings crashed against Archer.
"Christ took you long enough buddy, next time we see each other you'd better pay for all my rounds at the pub"
Cursed a bloodied Lancer wearing what just remained of his armor.
"Geez without my battle continuation skill I would have already died"
"Sorry this guy was tougher than I expected, how's the bounded field"
"Ready and operative, but heck those familiars of yours suck, I had to do most of the coding for base structure myself WHILE that asshole kept trying to kill me. At one point I didn't even think you actually had a plan buuuuttttt... those pages appeared so we're cool, I'm no Caster but I still know my way around runes and to produce an arrow defense spell? Ah, that's a joke for me."
"Perfect"
Said Assassin while a bunch of orange letters began to surround him.
Debris from all over the place rose up from the ground glowing of the same orange light.
"I guess this is my last night here"
Whispered Hachiman letting all the power he had left flow in his noble Phantasm.
The letters around him started to spin, while the kitsune dorobo notebook emerged from his shadow.
"System override, full mana release"
In an instant, the artifact ceased to exist in a corporeal form and turned in a pure flash of mana. The letters around Assassin mold together until they embraced his body like flame.
"First tail: open"
Bursting like a storm of fireworks all the debris began to dash wildly in every direction destorying everything they found on their path.
Archer that was still trapped under Berserker managed to move away his enormous ally and extended his hand towards the sky.
"RO AIAS!"
A flower-like shield appeared to protect the two servants from the incoming projectiles.
*THUN THUN THUN
The debris drummed against the shield buncing off and restarting their mad rush.
Given their random pattern the debris should have dispersed in a matter of seconds, however, thanks to the bounded field Lancer deployed all the projectiles once they hit the limit of field just bounced back with their speed doubled.
"AAAAAAHHHHH Second tail: open"
Screamed Assassin as the flame around him assumed the shape of an anthropomorphic fox with two tails.
The debris began to move even faster, they were attacking everything except Lancer and Assassin.
"Third and fourth tails: open"
Continued Assassin adding two more tails to his aura.
"GHAAA!"
Groaned Archer as his shield began to crack.
"Com'on com'on, Fith sixth seventh eight tails: open"
Pouring even more mana in his attack Hachiman increased the speed of his bullets until the only thing left to see in the bounded field was an orange light trying to swallow a purple one.
"Bye-bye, brats avoid to die when I'm gone...
Kuku an Assassin that's going to take down two servants in one shot. Must be a record
ninth tails: open "
Whispered Hachiman almost out of energy.
His body was totally immersed in the body of a nine-tailed fox, his projectiles had lost their orange light and replaced it with one with the same color of blood... while Archer... while Archer had reached his limit. Maintaining a defensive phantasm such as the Ro aias for that long against so many attacks had drained practically all his mana, yet he couldn't stop if Archer had lowered his defense even for a second death would have arrived to greet him.
"Farewell counter guardian may our paths cross in another timeline"
Smiled Hachiman giving one last stare to the tanned servant.
The tails of his aura began to move restlessly ready to release all their power.
"Complete release of the inhibitions:
Howl of the nokitsu- "
"LUMINOSITE' ETERNELLE"
But then an arrow of pure holy energy made breach through the bounded field and the debris, landing directly on Assassin.
"Oh, you fucking dead-eyed moron. Now you have made me angry"
A few moments earlier
Dear Gamine
These past few weeks have been hard for all of us. The brat is stronger than ever, however, I'm sure you realize how much of a burden we are on his shoulders.
The condition of my body has always haunted me in the past years, but even so, I never took action to remove one or two of my modes in order to support the brat better. Unfortunately for all of us, I'm selfish and a coward. The old man I have become has grown to attached to all his memories to give them up and for this reason, I'm humbly sorry.
Still, it's a parent's duty to make sure his children have a chance to obtain happiness so I'm going to do the two of you a present: I'm getting rid of three servants in one shot and giving you gamine a valid reason to give up your Ruler job.
You know how was the Japanese aviation, Kamikaze here, Kamikaze there, well I'm going out as a true citizen of my country (even though this statement is absurdly racist)
So bye, ship my stuff to some Oroboro base and name your first son after me.
Ps
If I also take down Lancer... be sure to make the epitaph on my grave say I was a badass.
Pss
Please make sure my younger self survive, I don't want to say the world is screwed without him buuuutttttt I'd like to avoid discovering otherwise.
Psss
Sieg... I mean the brat... was using some kind of red magic before, be sure to open this talk might be important.
Be a better servant than me and don't be too angry if I reversed your reverse psychology to make you go away. Your old man still knows how to treat youngsters
Assassin I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII.
"OH, THAT USELESS DEAD EYED IDIOT! HE DID A TRIPLE BLUFF TO GO OUT WITH STYLE! DAMN I'LL BROKE HIS ANKLES WITH STYLE"
Rushing out from the arcade I was so angry my eyes only saw red, that and probably the fact I was using absurd amounts of mana when I should've been resting.
It was the first time in a very long time I actually used my body to its 100%, it felt amazing it was like every single vein, every muscle had woken up from a deep sleep. I was almost caught by surprise as I leaped on top of the building of Fuyuki in a flash and with the minimum effort. Guts of wind slashed on my face letting me taste what being a heroic spirit meant I felt my power rise.
I truly felt Jeanne D'arc the leader of armies.
"Now where the hell is Assassin *Boom Oh, there he is "
I thought observing a dome of orange light blooming out of nowhere.
Hachiman had decided to release all his power at once... and while that wasn't so much... lol... it was still a massive amount of energy able to completely erase a part of Fuyuki.
Leaping above the bounded field I aimed my flag down towards the fulcrum all that power, with heels straight and a pose I discovered in that one lesson of pole dance I took, I descended from the heavens spinning like a drill.
In nine years Sieg wasn't the only one who had learned something new. My mana run through my flag making it shine like a comet it was time to get that idiot Assassin and or how Sieg would have said playing an FPS.
"I'm coming to put you in place MADA FAKKKAAAAA"
"LUMINOSITE' ETERNELLE"
Like a holy arrow, I crashed through the bounded field destroying anything that tried to stop me, red masses of energy were turned to dust against my Phantasm.
"Pff I have turned my holy defense in an offensive weapon... Assassin's influence did quite the number of me"
I thought finally reaching the old man right a moment before he released all the mana he had left.
*CRACK
A pretty creepy sound roared as my heel bashed against Assassin's nape sending his face on the road; his concentration immediately faded along with all his spells. A rain of debris and dust started to pour all over the place. A thick blanket covered everything leaving no light to see. I could feel Lancer presence nearby so trying to modulate my voice to make it sound deeper I said.
"I am Batman"
"... Pardon?"
"Nothing... I'm the Ruler servant. This city has suffered too much damage in one night, all servants must retire"
"How can I trust what you're saying?"
Growled Lancer moving the Gae Bolg against my throat, only to have his spear deflected by the staff of my flag and the tip of my weapon under his neck.
"Because I'm trying to solve the situation with the good way and not in the bad one"
I hissed with a voice far more poisonous than I expected... Darn it I felt so furious right now that everything I did was filled with anger.
"From the sound of my friend's skull, your good way is pretty... intense"
Whispered Lancer moving his spear towards Hachiman's face.
Ara? Was I keeping my foot on his nape and continued to kick him even though he was down?
Yes... Uh, I was doing it unconsciously...
"Doesn't look like a problem"
I thought ignoring Assassin's pained grunts.
That asshole deserved it.
"You have my word he will not receive any permanent injuries. I'm just repaying some emotional damage... Assassin... has quite a debt with me in that departement"
"Did he ehm dump you?"
Asked Lancer not too sure about what to do next.
From the anxiety in his voice, I could tell he knew what meant making a woman angry.
"Good that should make everything easier"
I grimaced putting back my flag.
"Something like that"
I said raising my foot away from Assassin just to smash it down again a second after.
"Ouch.., why! What did my head do?"
Damn, I felt so sexy while stomping on someone.
"I see... so, you got your things going on so... well goodnight"
Fidgeted Lancer disappearing.
One servant gone three left.
"Gamine could you move your damn foot"
Groaned Hachiman trying to crawl away from my heel.
"Oh sorry!"
I apologized instinctively letting the old man go.
"Wait I'm still angry with you"
I immediately realized placing my shoe on Hachiman's ribs.
"KUH! please I need air."
"And I need an explanation, going full Kamikaze really? After all these years you're willing to die like that? I don't know if I'm more angry thinking about what you have nearly done, or about the fact you thought this was a good idea!"
I whispered glacial bringing my face closer to Assassin's one while gritting my teeth.
GOSH I WAS LIVID.
"Gamine your eye-"
"Don't you dare to change topic, were you seriously going to suicide? Answer me. No I know you were serious about it but please give me two good reasons!"
"I have written them in the letter, the brat can finally sustain you in the war and you'd be free from the Ruler's obligations. God, don't you get it? I used practically all the aces I had up in my sleeve tonight. I have lost my value and it won't be long before any master realize that it just takes a bit of planning to take me down. I'm not half as strong as you and the brat think I am. 9 years of planning and in two weeks everything got screwed. Open your eyes Jeanne! If you really want to be happy you know what I'm talking about"
Spitted Hachiman while the IVs in his eyes shone sadly and a little bit of blood came out of his mouth.
"So what you just give up on your desire? Do you leave the theatre after watching all the trailers but before the movie? Don't you want to see the ending?"
"..ah ha you've watched too much tv... Gamine, I have already reached 8 endings I'm content with. If I have to give up my ninth to make you two have yours... I'd just smile. Besides you can use the grail to bring me back once everything is over."
Chuckled Assassin.
"You're not bluffing your way out this time"
I replied cold.
"Oh.."
He immediately stopped to laugh.
"You found out...
"Bringing you back with the grail don't mess with me... we both know that if you die, and your soul gets stored in the grail, bringing you out again will make your multiple versions mix together until you self-destruct."
"Fuck a delayed mail was supposed to tell you that tomorrow. Still, believe me Gamine, you becoming the brat's main servant is your best shot to victory. And then once you have become a granny we'll meet in the throne of heroes and I'll ask you "So tell me, are you happy with the life you had?""
"... No, not until I reach the route with the best ending"
I whispered tightening my fists and pushing my foot harder on Assassin
"Ugh Gamine what did you say?"
"I said not until I reach the best ending! That's what visual novels do right? They dump some irrational and poorly written finale to make everybody happy! I don't care if it isn't logical, I don't care if it's technically impossible I want an ending with all my family and I said ALL, so you included so you won't die until I decide your role has been fulfilled.
AM. I. CLEAR?"
I asked while a ring of flame appeared around me.
I was tired of morally important conclusions that left a bittersweet taste in my mouth, I WAS TIRED OF TITANIC. Give me the end of DRAGON BALL Z! That I have never watched but that sure seems like a happy ending.
"Child you've become greedy in these past years"
Said Hachiman slipping away from my shoe.
"I've had a terrible parental figure"
I retorted while he walked past me.
"Mph... guess so. I'm going to fetch Saber and the brat. Try not to get home too late"
"Just prepare a bunch of pancakes and blood candies I'll need them"
I told him shaking my head.
And then we took separate ways, he moved away from the battlefield and I went deeper into it.
Following the heavy pants of Archer and Berserker, I made my way through the dust until I found myself on the edge of a scorched crater, there Archer was lying on his back trying to gasp air while Berserker was digging out from a building his weapon. Similarly to Assassin and Lancer, Archer looked exhausted, however, Berserker seemed still up for a fight.
*SWUN
Swiping my flag I cleared away all the dust. My figure suddenly appeared clear to the two servants that could only watch at me with a puzzled stare.
Now the hard part was coming, I had to buy Assassin as much time as I could, still, there were a fair number of problems with that: first of all mana after using my noble phantasm I wasn't going to last much longer especially if I had to fight, second Archer and Berserker weren't going to stay quiet only because I asked them AND THIRD! I had no idea what to say next.
I couldn't lie with a straight face, seriously I had the worst poker face ever.
"...etto... Good evening Berserker and Archer"
I said using my most solemn voice.
"I'm the Ruler servant of this holy grail war"
Lies
"With the role to oversee this battle among heroic spirits.
Done a pretty good job so far bitch.
Tonight the city of Fuyuki has already suffered enough cease all the hostilities at on- GHA lying"
"Wait what was that?"
I thought suddenly unable to move.
I tried to say something to the two servants in front of me, but no words wanted to come out from my mouth, I tried again and again, still nothing, it was like I had been trapped in my own flesh. Then something muddy creep up my throat. It felt disgusting and unnaturally warm. I couldn't understand if it was something real or just an illusion.
Archer and Berserker glared at me with confused stares as I began to shake. The muddy substance reached my mouth.
Mhp... For some reason I expected to vomit everything I had drunk tonight, yet, instead of disgusting liquid from my lips just came out a voice. My voice.
"All you do is lying."
A cold bolt run on my spine and no matter how hard I thought I couldn't understand what the hell was happening.
My body felt completely stiff. My mind fuzzy almost like I was falling asleep.
With what little strength I had left I only managed to mutter.
"Wh-? No. Why should I lie?"
My words came out quietly, like a tiny gusts of wind that got lost in the night, none could hear them...except me of course.
"Lying? Why should you be lying? Isn't that a nice question me?"
Said my voice while a scorching sensation seemed to embrace my body.
"Oh I know that I'm sure it's because servant assigned to this Ruler class shouldn't allow all the atrocities that are happening in this city RIGHT NOW"
The voice kept speaking ignoring all my attempts to close my mouth.
I could feel an incredible anger in each of her words while I... I simply wanted her to stay silent because she was going to say all the things I never dared to let out from my mind.
"Innocent people being murdered to grant mana, bounded field meant to cannibalize the power of the human soul. My My what a poor job you're doing definitely not something to put on your Linkedil"
...shut up
"I don't believe that a hero meant to oversee this battle should let such things happen!"
...shut up
"All this time you struggled to keep up with this Ruler work but... ahaha look how far that got you... at the end of the day yours was only an act. Behaving like a perfect maiden while the best thing you could do was crawl in a hospital and live thanks to someone else's blood"
SHUT UP!
"AHAHA I bet each of my words feels like a blade stabbing through your heart, right me? Kukuku and you know why? Beacuse deep down you know I'm right"
..GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I mentally cried desperate to re-obtain control of myself. I clawed with unexisting hands the emptiness around me but then, the fatal blow arrived.
"You may choose your morals over everything you achieved in this life... but I will not... if I'll end up in hell for this reason so be it."
At that point... I lost all the strength to fight back. The voice was right, she had pushed out from my soul all the weights I was carrying, exposed all the mud I had inside me. It felt kind of relieving actually. I had finally accepted what I had tried to hide... I being pathetic and selfish just to be selfless. Quite ironic wasn't it?
Pfff... And what's even funnier was that I already knew everything, I just kept it in my subconscious.
"To think I just had to alter my mindset a bit to let all my hypocrisy out... alter... uh, Alter so that's who she is."
I thought while my mind was drifting away.
She was just like Hachiman had said this Jeanne was a mirror image of a soul, generated by a composition of negative concepts... I had believed my Alter form would have come from my resentment towards the world, my spite towards those who betrayed me. But it wasn't like that. She embodied my fear... to lose who I loved she was the version of me I secretly longed to be.
A version of me that could keep tight what she loved no matter the consequences and that must have received love back.
...Truly a rotten ideal I didn't dare to reach.
"But at least she will love my family as much as they deserve"
I softly thought before a tiny memory of today hammered against my brain.
"I always tried to be close to perfection for Sieg"
"pfaahahahahahhaha you? perfect? Ahahahahahahahhahahahahahah?"
"Hachiman stop being pointlessly mean"
"ahaha Gosh do you think the brat married you because he believed you're perfect?"
"Am I not the ideal gorgeous woman"
"Fair point... but utterly meaningless for anybody who has spent at least a week with you, Gamine you know you have plenty of flaws and so do Sieg, no maybe he see much more flaws in you than you can imagine, but he has found something he loves so much about you that all those flaws disappear"
"that's deep"
"I'm stating facts, otherwise I can't explain how would he put up with you and your more disgraceful habits"
"Hikigaya Hachiman fuck you"
"You had to haunt me now old man, didn't you?"
I sighed as my mind returned to wake up.
"Okay! Fine!"
I cried while my head got filled by imagines of the other Jeanne fighting against Berserker
"Jeanne-fucking D'arc- slash- Hikigaya a.k.a. The hypocrite and not pure at all me is going to drag that bitch where she belongs!"
In the meantime in the real world
"Rgha?"
Grunted Berserker rolling his oversized fingers.
"No... No I don't know what she is doing! "
Retorted Archer struggling to reach a sitting pose.
The fight with Assassin and Lancer had drained much more stamina than he could handle. Another battle in the immediate future was more than he could resist. Berserker on the other side looked kind of fine, yes he seemed a bloody fountain but, given he had none to protect this time his limited cognitive capabilities were all focused on the pure combat.
"Rgharrh"
Grunted again the mad servant moving his stare from his sword to a nearby rock.
"Ehm she stopped half-sentence saying she is a Ruler servant... don't think it's a great idea trying to kill her with your sword, she might snap out of it and be hostile. You saw how she broke through Assassin's attack like it was nothing."
"GHARG"
"I'm not being unfair if you really want, throw gently that damn rock and see what happen, if she doesn't react we move out"
"RouhH"
Growled Berserker picking up the rock with the intention of tossing it at Ruler's feet.
*SWOOOOOONNNNNNNNN
However intention and reality often differ... soooooo... A bullet of fifty kilograms hit Ruler straight in her chest sending her flying one hundred meters back.
*CRASH
"I SAID GENTLY!!"
Screamed Archer with his eyes widened by the shook.
"Rgaa"
"Opsie? OPSIE! FUCK THAT RUN! WAIT pick me up, pick me up too!"
Roared Archer while Berserker was wisely deciding to return to his master while leaving Archer behind.
But unfortunately a colossal blazed came out of nowhere and hit the giant servant right in the face shooting him back to Archer's side.
"...Fuuu. It's official I hate my life once again"
Growled Archer summoning a pair of twin sword while barely able to stand on his feet.
"Trace on"
"Sorry for the waiting monsieurs I had a terrible time pushing away that holy bitch"
A voice suddenly greeted the two servants.
It was Ruler or at least a woman that looked like her but with darker clothes and lighter hair.
"I'm here to inform you that your participation in the holy grail war has come to an end"
She continued while a ring of fire surrounded them.
The air behind Ruler's back began to tremble and then six red wings appeared.
Archer and Berserker didn't need any more words to know what was going to happen; those were command seals, they were going to commit suicide...
"GOD REALLY!? AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I GET ONE CHANCE TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT AND HOW DO I DIE? LIKE THIS! FUCK EVERYBODY AND MY E LEVEL LUCK"
Mentally screamed Archer throwing his twin swords against Ruler just to have them destroyed by the hellfire that protected her.
"Why can't you send me a miracle once in a while God eh!"
Cursed the tanned servant just before a mechanical voice came out of Ruler.
"Class protocol altered
Psychological requirements: not acceptable.
Temporary suppression of Ruler class skills and powers.
Initializing temporary class: Avenger"
And as the voice faded away so did the command seals.
"Oh, thank fucking you"
Sighed Archer tracing other two swords.
In a flash both him and Berserker charged against the Avenger servant making use of the opening the Grail's control system gave them.
A well-placed slash and Jeanne d'Arc would have been no more. Repetition would, unfortunately for the two male servants the snow haired woman snapped out of her trance right a moment before the tragedy pushing Berserker away with a lethal blaze and stopping Archer's swords with her flag.
"Mon Dieu attacking a lady with no mercy, chivalry is truly death, however, I do appreciate gender equality"
Grinned Jeanne swiping away Archer's blades.
An incredible amount of power suddenly propelled Archer back, who didn't even have the time to gasp in surprise before having to duck Jeanne's flag.
Her fighting style was all offense and zero defense.
"She feels more like a hound than Lancer"
Grimanced Archer pushing his speed beyond his limits.
He began to jump and fly basically anywhere in a full 360 assault against Avenger that had yet to scan and know the battlefield. It was a small advantage but even the most innocuous information could become a deadly weapon in a battle between servants. Archer finally managed to leave several cuts on Jeanne's body while the best thing she could do was deflect or dodge the most dangerous strikes.
The only problem, in this case, was that Archer's stamina was already over to begin with. The pacing he was keeping to thrust and slash at Jeanne's armor junctures was unbearable for his body; he knew that and in fact, the tanned servant saw himself as a decoy for Berserker...still.
"I'll win"
Was a pretty strong thought in his mind.
Like a red lightining Archer reached Jeanne's back and lowered the hilt of one of his swords making the woman growl in pain.
"GHA!"
The snow haired servant lost part of her grip on the flag, and Archer did not let that change go to waste.
He slipped under Jeanne's legs and then blocked the woman's flag in a scizzor leg lock.
"RRGHAAA"
A furious shout and Archer twisted himself so quickly to make Avenger lose her weapon and be hit by said weapon in the face.
Jeanne was sent flying against Berserker that like baseball player prepared himself to cut the enemy servant in mid-air. The woman should have panicked, her life was going to end in a matter of seconds, yet her expression remained still. No fear or doubt could be found in her eyes just a scorching determination.
"Fire"
Pointing her hands towards the sky Jeanne chanted one word that made a crimson flame bloom out of her plams.
As if that thing acted like a jet propeller the woman was shot on the ground, avoiding by the skin of her teeth Berserker's sword.*CRACK a bone breaking noise filled the air as a small cloud of dust surrounded Jeanne, then *SLASH Berserker lowered his ax-sword, he truly wanted to cut down Jeanne, however, his attack didn't meet nor flesh nor bone just a geyser of fire.
*BBOOOMMMM
Berserker's hand got carbonized and so his ax-sword.
"What? Forgot how to fight barehanded?
Asked Jeanne devoided of her armor generating a flame under her feet.
In a flash, the woman dressed only in jeans, boots and a black coat punched the biggest servant in the holy grail war in the face with a fist surrounded by fire.
"GHAAA!"
Berserker roared in pain while a massive amount of hellfire tried to destroy everything around Archer.
"AHHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH"
Laughed maniacally Jeanne stopping with a wall of fire an arrow Archer had shoot towards her with his last ounce of strength.
"One down"
Whispered the woman closing her fist and trapping the servant of the bow in a cage of fire.
"And now- *Punch"
Berserker cut Avenger at mid-sentence with a sonorous fist in her cheek.
"Puah"
Grunted Jeanne spitting a tooth and a copious amount of blood on the ground.
"That's all you got?"
She asked staring in the mismatched eyes of the-miraculously-still-standing-servant.
"Gharg"
Retorted him.
"Guessed so, try again"
Grinned the woman, with a challenging stare.
Berserker didn't need to be asked twice, he immediately swung his fist a second time. The blow connected, however, instead of hitting Jeanne's face Berserker's punch hit the woman's guard.
All the raw power behind Berserker's blow flowed within Jeanne's body making her spin right before his forearm.
"Thanks old man, your insane lessons are paying off"
Smiled Jeanne releasing a spear of flames that blew off Berserker's sane arm.
"Still I'd appreaciate a verison made for people with super strength"
She continued slipping Berserker.
At this point the battle was over and not even the "Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!" wornings coming fromArcher could save Berserker as Jeanne jumped, grabbed his nape and chin, and smashed the mad servant fsce on the ground with all her might.
"RKO bitch *spit"UGH!
"Class protocol returned to original state
Psychological requirements: acceptable.
Return to Ruler class
Coming back from the depts of my mind was everything except simple. I had to focus with all my strength and imagine a door or some kind of exit and then stretch my hands out as if I was trying to pull me up from a pit.
It was difficult and most importantly distracting, every time I thought I might have been able to come out the tremendous amount of sensation Jalter (yeah that's the name I gave her) felt washed on me like a waterfall. Even from here I could feel on my skin the heat of the battle.
"Gosh what's she thinking! Assaulting two servants alone and with no mana, fuck I don't even know how she is able to use so much energy, like where the hell does it come from?"
I thought finally able to claw my way up to the real world.
Suddenly all my senses came back to me and with them a lacerating pain through all my body. I felt like I had just bitten a hand-grenade and judging from the devastation around me it wasn't so unlikely.
"Oh God what did I do?"
I squirmed looking to the unconscious Berserker and Archer.
They looked completely out of energy and as a sudden painful jolt across my spine reported, I was in no better shape.
Fuck situation had gone far too much out of control tonight I had to move out and replenish my mana, however, home was too far... so I was left with only one option.
"The hospital.. and to think I wanted a quiet evening"
HOLY HELL CACCIAFULMINI HERE! DO YOU REMBER WHEN I SAID THE NEZT UPDATE WOULDN'T TAKE THREE MONTHS AGAIN YEAH ME NEITHER CUZ IT TOOK FIVE.
I HUMBLY APOLOGIZE THIS SUMMER HAS BEEN CRAZY, GOT HIGHSCHOOL FINAL EXAMS, TRIP TO RUSSIA, STUDYING TO GET IN MED SCHOOL, DOING ENTRANCE EXAMS AND THEN HAVE A BUNCH OF SLEEPLESS NIGHTS HOPING TO GET IN. BUT SCREW ALL OF IT I'M IN!
SO HERE'S THE CHAPTER AG FIRST I WANTED TO USE THE POV OF MULTIPLE SERVANTS BUT AFTER SOME THOUGHT I JUST WENT WITH JEANNE'S ONE AND USED EXTERNAL NARRATION A COUPLE TIMES.
I HOPE YOU LIKED THE CH IN HIS ACTION AND HUMORISTIC PARTS AND THAT JALTER GOT YOU A BIT MORE INTERESTED ALSO NEXT CH MIGHT BE SHORTER SINCE THERE WON'T BE A BATTLE AND SUPPOSEDLY IT WILL COME OUT SOONER.
IF YOU'RE INTEREST CHECK OUT MY OTHER DELIRANT FF "Eight Banner" (Don't worry it's way shorter and with a better semantic)
SO SEE YOU NEXT TIME WITH THE SWORD III