Ambrosia

by AyaxRoses

'Love. To truly love, that was one of the only things in this world that would never die. Even if you wished it to. Subaru and Kamui had grown to understand this painfully well.' An alternative ending to the final battle and a future for Subaru and Kamui to be happy together. SubKam SubaruxKamui BL-Yaoi-Shounen-Ai Past Fuuma/Kamui.

30. Anthurium

Ambrosia Chapter 30: Anthurium

Flower Symbolism: abundance, adoration, happiness, romance, sensuality, sexuality

Summary: Subaru celebrates his birthday, his first birthday being in a relationship and the second and where he'd found himself feeling happy beside Kamui. A cute date, simple yet sweet takes place. Kamui confesses a lingering desire and the paid continue the passionate side of their relationship, learning to explore a bit more and take a step they hadn't gone before.

---

Gentle Mornings

Belonging. This feeling enveloped the home even more than usual today.

Past all the nightmares, Subaru fell asleep, comforted, and asleep in his lover's arms.

They were getting stronger, small changes, but his boyfriend had grown. The younger man's shoulders were stronger and broader than he remembered a while back, and he felt a strength within them last night.

Kamui was just as protective and caring towards him.

'My love…' His mind soothes the words as though to transmit them to his Kamui.

Subaru reflects with adoration. His long fingers comb through sleep tousled locks. Gold and emerald orbs alike shine at the beautiful contrast of beautiful dark hair upon milky skin.

Subaru found a hopeless smile on his face waking up fully. He spent a few moments noticing a precious, gentle sight. Their little kitten snuck into their room sometime last night, comfortably, curled up on the pillow.

"You two are more alike than you think," Subaru whispers, a hopeless laugh only signally how far gone he's been. He holds the sight in his heart so fondly.

Green and gold orbs transfixed, fondly seeing their cat curled up on their pillow, in a secure donut shape. Whilst his Kamui is curled up on his side, one leg swung over Subaru's hips and arms wrapped ever tightly around the older man's waist, holding him cozily.

'I need you… so so much…' it's far from the first and far from the last, the extremity of such a feeling takes place, nearly leaving Subaru breathless. A vulnerable weakness was brought out to the open. His hand trembles over such a beautiful face.

As though sensing Subaru's distraught, Kamui unconsciously nuzzles his cheek in the palm. A silent gesture Reminding the lovesick man, 'I'm here with you. '

Subaru was able to speak his mind, everything in his heart so long as his precious Kamui was beside him.

'I would never get over you… not in a million lifetimes, so please…' He thinks desperately, a hand at Kamui's mid-back firms. The younger male is pulled closer to himself.

Subaru bites his lip, seeing an elegant, little smile.

"Subaru…" Kamui murmurs, the tone so at ease, relaxed in whatever dream played out.

The awoken lover leans his head down, placing soft, butterfly kisses from the crown of Kamui's head to his soothed temples.

"Mn…" Kamui murmurs in his sleep. His lips press together, several times, before he licks them, seemingly pleased. Subconsciously, Kamui's arms and legs quickly squeeze around his lover, all the while his head dives into a warm chest. His head nuzzling right above the heart.

"Ah…" Subaru does lose his breath, just for a second. He has to swallow, though finds the simple feat difficult. His heart races loud and clear. Nearly ten years his senior and here he was the one as flustered as a lovesick high school student.

A kind of love he'd been deprived of when he was just a teenage boy in love. Painfully… before now, his heart never had the opportunity to feel this kind of love, the softer intimacy…

'At least for this lifetime… please, always, love me just like this.' Subaru requests from his thoughts.

'I have faith you'll never leave…' Never. Kamui remained the beautiful person he was, expressing his feelings so raw and earnestly one had no choice but to validate them. 'I could never fall in love again… nor do I want to…

Everything else would pale in comparison. All the way through this, his Kamui seems to understand unconsciously. As the young man hugs his lover, snuggling up to him. Perhaps, with his extraordinary power, Kamui could feel his lover's worries. Perhaps, that was just his gift being the person he was, always seeming to know.

Every wearing doubt or painful reminder of the past… slowly but certainly begins to dissipate, by Kamui's side.

"Su… ba…ru… " Kamui calls sweetly from the depths of his sleep. If Subaru's arms were not locked around his love, he would have held a hand too tightly grasp his chest, trying to manage this overwhelming feeling.

There's a sense of absolute devotion, and deepening love akin to Subaru's own. Not that he would believe it… that someone as perfect as his Kamui, could feel love as strong as his own… rivaling his own. Kamui smiles again through his dream, keeping close. He never lets go.

Insecurities, a lack of belief in himself, and becoming like the man who damaged him so deeply… all of that seemed ludicrous when hearing Kamui's faith in him. The younger man was making Subaru believe in who he was, beyond his powers or prior relationships. Subaru was Subaru… and he felt that.

'I don't know what I did to deserve you like this…'

Subaru peppered a few kisses on his lover's slowly departing from the bed.

'I don't know… but I'm grateful.' He thanks whatever God, spirit, or thread of fate brought him and Kamui together like this.

A bemused curl spread to his lips as Kamui, half asleep, latched onto the closest pillow.

His arms and legs wrapped around it as a substitute while Subaru left downstairs

Of course, Kamui had a sense of when his lover was near or away. One that began being fellow Dragons of Heaven and advanced to so much more. The poor pillow substitute was not one to last.

The younger man found himself a little grumpily, frowning as he padded along the mattress. Before he even fully opened his eyes.

"Subaru…" Kamui huffed, wanting to see his lover's sleepy expression as he usually did. As violet orbs fluttered to fully take in the day, they fixated on the space beside him.

Biting his lip, Kamui leans back down, nose against the empty pillow. Being this closeup… an alluring scent fills his mind.

'The scent of Subaru… ' Kamui knows no better way to describe it. The aroma alone makes his toes curl, and his body feels incredibly warm.

Kamhi needed at least this much to get out of bed. But… much sooner than later, he'd need the real thing: to feel, kiss, and embrace his Subaru.

While worrying Kamui would be upset, waking up on his own, Subaru was determined to care for him. To do something nice for Kamui, even if it was just a little thing.

Sunlight beamed in through the blinds of their kitchen, and warmth lit the entire room.

Subaru couldn't help but want to give back to his lover. Kamui's words are still stuck in his heart.

'You're my strength'

Subaru's hand gravitated above his heart, feeling the words stirring inside.

Surely, he must have done something right in life, to have Kamui truly speak so highly and lovingly about him.

The professions of 'I love you' we're always words treasured the most by Kamui. The words 'I need You' too were right up there.

Though hearing… He was Kamui's strength.

Those were words he'd keep locked in his heart for an eternity.

'And you're mine.'

Kamui being his strength didn't begin to explain these emotions.

'My everything."

The sounds of feet padding down the steps and into the entryway, made his heart sing. A sense of calmness and belonging took over all else.

"There you are!" Kamui accuses cheekily, index finger out accusingly, still half asleep. He finalized his statement with a long yawn.

"Good Morning, Kamui," Subaru conveys blissfully with sparkling eyes as he turns back to his love. His hands were currently occupied with various pans and spatulas around and upon the stovetop.

"You woke up without me," Kamui grumbles a little, as he walks up behind his boyfriend, hugging him tightly. His lips purse out, as he tugs the back of his boyfriend's apron.

"Good Morning kiss?" Kamui asks cutely, in a sweet tone he knows is highly effective at melting his lover.

Subaru turns around promptly, hands needingly brushing all along Kamui's sides and hips. He pulls the younger man close, extending his hand up. His fingers moved to tilt Kamui's as drawn to as ever, their eyes close, and their lips brush delicately across. A tender caress between them, Kamui lingered close, arms wrapped snugly around his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to surprise you," Subaru voices his apology, feeling his beloved's head nuzzling against his shoulders.

"You… are cooking?" Kamui asks with a wry smile, a little curious, and a tiny bit worried. When it came to cooking it was more often a forte of the younger man.

Subaru spent a life constantly going from job to job and barely having time at home, let alone time to practice cooking.

So it seemed natural that Kamui should at least be there to assist (sometimes supervise) his lover. This was a bit of a rarity… but as Kamui looked across their kitchen.

Though from the looks of their kitchen and the pans in front, things were going a few things were burned then.

The scent of a few pieces of overdone toast came through but overall a success.

"I'm not that bad," Subaru took his lover's worries in stride, laughing softly. "I just worked on a few simple things I've made before with you."

Namely, sweet-smelling omelets. Eggs mixed with vegetables, toast, and an assortment of fresh fruit. All of the recipes he fondly remembers Kamui teaching… among other things that tended to occur when they were alone together.

"It looks really good," Kamui assures him, standing on his tiptoes and pressing a soft kiss to his lover's cheek.

"I hope you will like it when you taste it," Subaru tries out though a bit nervously.

Kamui leans up to steal a sweet lingering kiss. "I'm sure I will, thank you, Subaru ~" He coos the words into his lover's ear, making him shiver.

Kamui is all too pleased with the reaction, grinning victoriously. "Should I set the table for us?" He offers to turn back and allow his lover to finish his work.

"No need, I've got that taken care of," Subaru ensures, gesturing with his hands to the ready-made table.

"Aw," Kamui nestles his head to rest upon his lover's upper back. "You're sweet. I guess I'll stay here with you then?"

"That's more than okay with me," Subaru tells him warmly. They share a blissful moment as the eggs and cut-up vegetables finish cooking.

'This is kinda… like what you'd see with newlyweds.' Kamui can't help but think of this, blushing, impossible to fight down. Usually, their positions were reversed. But this is a nice surprise to wake up to. This scenario feels just as inviting, and tender.

Everything is prepared nicely on the table.

Kamui claps his hands together. His violet-blue orbs sparkle. "This looks wonderful!" He compliments further, by leaning over the table and kissing his lover soundly.

He flushed coming back, feeling his body brush against the edge of the table. Where… a rather recent fantasy took place.

Quickly, he brushes things off. Focusing on the present moment.

"So what brought all this on?" Kamui voices his curiosity, and tenderly reaches for his lover's hand.

"I love this of course…. Though I don't want you to do too much. I know the last few nights weren't the easiest for you…"

He laments over this fact, his heart sinking at the feeling of his beloved shaking in his arms. Nightmares… Those tears…and how deeply Subaru doubted himself, brought on a particular pain.

"I had someone special help me through it all," Subaru adoringly returns, grasping Kamui's hand and turning it to flush back to his own. There's a peaceful glisten in his eyes, gold, and emerald reflecting several mini orbs of light. "So it wasn't all that bad."

Kamui averts his gaze toward his meal for a moment. His heart needed time to calm down when his lover said such sweet things so openly.

Of course, it can only last a moment. The younger man reruns the loving gaze and forms a smaller, more abashed smile. "I'm glad I could help…You do the same for me."

"I am more than happy to," Subaru insists, gently but firmly on the matter. "When I can make you feel more at ease… it makes me feel… the same."

"Subaru…" Kamui coos, his voice growing softer, eyelashes fluttering. He feels the clutch at his heart, wanting to break free and be completely one with the heart of Subaru. "Me too… ah, but it's probably good to start eating before the food gets cold."

Subaru marvels at how beautiful Kamui presents with the smallest blush of pink on his cheeks. Still, the curve of his lips is shaking watching Kamui, dig in with his fork and take that first bite.

A modest scoop of eggs and chopped vegetables are brought to Kamui's lips. He would eat and adore them no matter what, because of just who cooked for him. A sense of pride and admiration came… as he could taste familiar flavors and seasonings. Ones he used before when cooking with his beloved. That only made his eyes sparkle that much more.

"It's very good," Kamui responds with a pleased curl to his lips. "You did a really good Subaru."

Subaru releases a worried breath. Softly chuckling he replies. "I'm glad," his nerves calm. His lips stay stuck near permanently in a smile as he sees Kamui enjoy his cooking.

There's a softness to the morning. Bouts of quiet as they ate, alongside talks about all the little things happening between school and work.

---

Asking

Passion and the raw desire to be as close as possible remained all through their week. Such an important day was approaching, and Kamui couldn't help but want to express his elation… love that his precious Subaru was born.

This kind of closeness brought a bought of confidence the more intimacy occurred. With that comfortability, perhaps it was even more honesty.

"So… please tell me…what would you like... For your birthday?" Kamui asks tenderly, eyes fluttering oh so innocent. Far too innocent for what they were doing here.

"You're asking this now?" Subaru isn't sure whether to laugh, cry or moan in this situation. Hungrily his eyes devour the sight of Kamui's tender hands spreading apart his legs, further teasing against his growing arousal.

"Well yeah…" Kamui returns, seeming a little more embarrassed as he places his hand around his lover's leaking cock. "I had read…up that, during more… pleasurable times you can ask your partner anything."

"Ahh… K-Kamui….~" Subaru cries out at the sudden touch and surrounding warmth. Though it was entirely slow. 'Just what has Kamui been reading?'

"I figured," Kamui's lips tease over his leaking cock. He's still determined to explain. "That you're always so nice and never want to ask for much… so maybe now that we are…" Kamui's cheeks blew up a deep cherry red. "Doing this… I figured you might be more at ease and honest?"

"Heh, Kamui," Subaru let his head fall back against the pillows. He chooses to take this moment as one of endearment. His arm folds, resting over his eyelids. "I ah… appreciate this but…" He buried his hands deep into his lover's hair, fingertips massaging his lover's scalp.

"You know I'd love anything you give me and right now… I just want-" Gentle but a little insistent he tugs Kamui's head to come closer. The movement makes his dripping tip kiss against Kamui's lips. A sight that nearly makes him come alone. "I want you."

"I mean of course you can do whatever you like with me…" Kamui offers, being overly heated. He presses a few teasing kisses to his lover's not really he sealed his fate with the words alone. Nor the absolute fire burning through his lover. "That's… not exclusive to just your birthday…" Slowly he lets his tongue graze under, making his boyfriend shudder. "Like isn't… there is a gift I could give to you or something to wrap up… or…" All the while his lips keep teasing licks and sucking over his lover's most sensitive parts.

"Kamui… let's talk about this after…" Subaru barely restrains himself. Again he lets his head fall back, while his lover's sweet lips finally take him in. "I'll think of something…"

His mind honestly couldn't go further than this moment. Kamui took even more of him into his mouth, the back of his throat brushing over his dick.

"Kamui… please I…all I need. All I'll ever need… is here." He says boldly, directly gazing into Kamui's glossy eyes.

The tease had overcome Subaru much more than either expected. The second Kamui's lips came off of him with a loud pop, he found himself flipped to lie on his back, legs spread out wide and surrounding his very aroused lover.

"I can't hold back when you're like this… Kamui…" Subaru says almost regrettably. Whereas his lover felt anything but.

"Don't," Kamui whispers, only encouraging, fingers digging into his lover's back. Though even his lover didn't have some sense of control, the intention of the words made Kamui weak. 'This is… really exciting.'

His lover's confidence with the dominant role was everything right now. The thought of things being out of control, being able to only take in everything his lover wished to give him…

'It's way too hot… '" Kamui voices his thoughts without meaning to. Long fingers enter him, prepping him in a hurry before something feeling much better takes its place.

"Ahnn… Subaru!" Kamui cries out, mine going blank as he feels his lover setting a deeper and hard pace. Every bit of him ached, needing only to feel, be present at this moment.

"Kamui?" Subaru asks warily with the last bit of restraint wavering.

"I'll be fine," Kamui assures with a flustered smile, legs closing tighter to his lover's sides.

'Maybe this kind of conversation isn't so bad… if it gets Subaru like this.' Those were the last comprehensible thoughts before Kamui gave in to sweet surrender. Teary violet orbs rolled, relishing as his legs were lifted and held up embarrassingly high.

His lover held onto his legs like they were his own belongings. Partially due to the approving smiles and whispers Kamui gave at every touch. Being bent in half, knees to chest and legs at his love's shoulders. It was all too much. Subaru wasn't just making sweet love, or going harder no his pace increased until he was completely taking, ravishing him.

Lips overtook Kamui as he found himself taken into one of their hardest and most fiery love-making sessions.

Every single moan, groan and scream was possessively stolen by Subaru's lips. Kamui became ravished in every way possible, and his mind reached a euphoria… one only Subaru could bring him to.

Yeah… he would really have to have these talks more often…

Though…. He still didn't get the answer he searched for.

---

-Uncertainty -

'There's nothing I want more than to keep you safe… so you don't have to fight at all.' Subaru held this ideal deep in his heart.

Maybe that was why he kept taking on these kinds of jobs. Any jobs surrounding different shrines, temples, or sacred meditative gardens…were taken up. Especially if they resemble locations where holy swords were born or stored.

Clients who had influence were jobs taken in with more priority, assuming they may have more connections to those shadow sacrifices. One such client led him here, cornered by a tempered apparition.

'There's… so much hatred within… ' Subaru senses from the spirit, he was all but certain was from the Magami family line.

Though this feminine spirit was hostile, leading the Sumeragi heir to the top floor of the high-rise building.

"Please… I only want to-" Slam. The angered apparition shot out a burst of tainted energy. Subaru dodged the orb of power in time, though it crashed, breaking up the walls of the building.

"So you can go on in peace…" Crash. Debris From the outside and around the building was rocks, chunks of cement from the building, and even chains of the rooftops fencing. The words were of no avail.

"Please just lis-" Burst. Several orbs of that same energy came heeding in recklessly, all over. The skilled Onmyouji manages to dodge all, but the edge of the building glass skimmed against his shoulder. leaving a cut.

"If you can't help me find what I need…" Subaru began with a long-drawn-out sigh. He reached into his side pocket, pulling out several Ofudas, imbuing his power within. The talisman absorbs it all and begins to light aflame, forming the shape of a blinding star, the light heading directly for the tempered spirit. "Then… it will be time for you to go on."

And like that, he watched silently, as all traces of the spirit faded from their world and into the next.

I would have preferred to help you… Subaru laments, taking one last look at the corner of the rooftop where the woman's spirit had been.

Will I ever get closer to understanding…? Subaru wonders, digging his hands into his pockets. His mind recalls the past few outings, each spirit as hostile and tempered as the rest. Getting through to them, setting up the spirit free, not having to resort to a harsh exorcism… none of that had been an option.

On habit, Subaru turned to his right side, only to look into emptiness.

'I've grown used to having Kamui with me…' The loneliness he never thought twice about, while working, seeped in. He had a taste of what it was like to have his precious person at his side, and returning to working solo…not having Kamui to talk to, touch, and seek solace in after a hard job… brought an ache to his chest.

Subaru snorts, lips curling at the bittersweet notion.

'I was the one so against you working alongside me… but now that I've let you into my world. All I want is to have you here with me.'

Did that make him weak? Or had he gained a new power, a strength to save what was precious, so close to him, and a feeling of being protected all the same? Trust… yes he could always trust Kamui, his powers, heart, and soul seemed nearly invincible.

If any even tried to lay a finger on you… Images of his precious Kamui come to the surface. I won't hesitate to act. Even if… I have to….

To use that power.

I need to be stronger… as you are… Subaru frowns at the cut bleeding through his coat. So I don't have to worry ill need that.

More than anything…he wished to only act with his own power. To not lose that sense of self.

---

Preparations

Kamui busied himself in the kitchen. Apron tied neatly to cover for whatever mess may form. Violet-blue orbs dart from right to left carefully reading the recipe for his lover's cake. A recipe is written out just for him from Ijyuin Akira. He had to get this right!

'I hope you love this… ' Kamui hopes with certainty, melting at the image of his lover smiling, truly savoring every bite… all assuming he got this right.

For several hours, both on and off-campus, he practiced baking. While classmates and friends were more than happy to taste the' failed attempts', praising them… he couldn't be satisfied until he got it right.

Leading well into the night, Kamui let out a long breath, too exhausted to look up at the wall clock. Part of him didn't want to know just how long he had been at this process of trial and error.

'But it's all worth it. Finally,' Kamui looks at the elegant dark chocolate dessert with satisfaction. Soon after covering the top, place it into their fridge.

When the door unlocks, Kamui realizes just how late it was. He was finishing up cleaning and preserving the other 'failed attempts' in Tupperware to bring to school.

"I'm back." Those beautiful words never failed to stir his heart. Spoken in such a lovely, sweet tone. A tone saved only for Kamui.

"Welcome home," Kamui smiled, soon feeling a warm chest pressing against his back, head on his shoulder, and arms around his center.

"Subaru…" Kamui calls out, tilting his head to the side, giving his precious boyfriend all the access he needed.

"I missed you…" Subaru coos, breath far too warm and teasing upon his beloved's skin. He kisses all over the side of his beloved's neck.

"I missed you too…" Kamui leaned back into the embrace. His eyes closed constantly. "Happy Birthday," he whispers happily, eyes sparkling as they look up.

"Not quite yet," Subaru lightly teases a little, before resuming his lavishing kisses.

"It's close," Kamui returns. "You were working this whole time?"

Subaru let out a lengthy sigh, where to begin… and no job left him with the answers he craved. "Yes…"

"Well, I think you'll have a better day tomorrow," Kamui smiles, sympathetic, and takes a hand to his beloved's cheek.

Subaru leans into the touch seeming in agreement.

"Shall we head up to Bedroom?" Kamui mentions innocent intentions, feeling his lover leaning into him for support.

"Yes…" Subaru complies, allowing Kamui to support his weary form up the stairs, and into their love nest.

Only a few chaste kisses ensue after, before the overworked Onmyouji let himself, sleep, cradled in Kamui's protective hold. But they had all day tomorrow for more.

---

February 19th

Their second celebration together, and a first as the affectionate couple they've grown to be.

Kamui admires his sleeping partner, whilst brushing his fingers through his lover's silky hair. Fingertips tingle and twirl the longer locks of black with minor highlights of deep green. Seeing the highlights of deep green, as he brushed through the strands, made his lips curl.

"You always say this about me," Kamui whispers, "But really, you're the one who's incredibly beautiful…" He praises, adoring every curve and edge around his lover's face.

The smooth, ivory skin free of worry lines and wrinkles, seemed to dazzle beneath the continued sunrise. Kamui's fingers trace over his lover's incredible soft pink lips. Within moments he leans down, replacing his fingertips with his lips all over.

Innocent, sweet little kisses follow up. Kamui kept everything rather gentle. Not to disturb his lover's slumber.

"I should probably get… breakfast ready, and I have your cake this year… not too sweet, dark chocolate, I think you'll really like it," Kamui voices his morning thoughts to his lover, stroking beautiful cheeks before kissing them again.

As the lovesick male is about to disentangle their legs, and quietly, he hears a tired little sound. Seeing signs of his lover stirring awake, he shakes his head fondly.

Because of course, his boyfriend would get up right when he was about to go off and get things ready ahead of time.

"Good Morning," Kamui purrs, gently, lovingly.

"Happy Birthday, Subaru," Kamui professes in a tender voice. Ensuring his lover was mostly awake, he sat up beside his lover, leaning to his side. A hand glides under the older male's chin, lips generously, brush over, and kiss deeply. The gesture is instantly returned, Subaru giving as much passion back as he had been received. The addicting melting feeling of their kisses took over all else.

They don't stop kissing anytime soon, but Kamui doesn't climb into his lap as usual… their hands linked, innocent. Their kissing stays like that, slow, deep and meaningful kissing. Neither are bothered by this, lingering in the sensual, slow, and deepening kisses that connected them for what feels now like an eternity.

"So…" Kamui laughs a bit nervously as their kisses slow. He's reminded he had things to give and prepare for his beloved. "Would you like your gifts now? Or should breakfast be first? We could also head out somewhere to eat if you prefer-"

A gentle fingertip presses over his lover's anxious lips.

"That all sounds wonderful," Subaru ensures, letting his head fall against his lover. So close to his neck, he can't help but inhale his lover's intoxicating scent… and the fact Kamui also smelled a lot like him. This alone stirred a mix of emotions that would surely come back today.

But now… he wanted something softer. He turns his side, wrapping his arms snuggly around Kamui's waist, hugging him so very tight.

"But let's stay like this a little longer," Subaru insists, voice low, and husky. Kamui shifts around so he's facing his lover, holding him just as tight. For as long as needed.

"Okay," Kamui agrees, melting into the arms and embracing him like the world's most priceless treasure.

—-

Breakfast had been decided upon. Mainly due to Kamui's vocal stomach.

While Subaru offered to help the best he could with their breakfast, Kamui was obstinate. His index finger, wagging, before pressing over his lips.

"Not on your birthday. I want you to get ready for today. Let me care for you," Kamui told him, gentle but firm on the decision. The glowing smile which followed left Subaru breathless falling back against the bed for a few moments.

The feeling of such bliss… could only be swayed by a deepening pain. As much joy as Kamui brought to this day, there was a sadness that would come every year.

Images of his precious elder sister come to mind. For the sixteen years, he'd known her. He can't stay in bed, nor want the blissful feelings here to be replaced with guilt and pain. He slips off their bed, heading into their bathroom to wake up.

'The day we were born…' Subaru reflects, past memories bitter and sweet all flow through his mind. The harsher, lonelier memories… being alone, lingered more than others.

Subaru can't help his usual routine, one that came up on his… on their birthday. The blessing and curse of being a twin, there were always factors keeping you connected even if… the other is not around anymore.

His heart doesn't ache nearly as bad as it used to but the ache would never truly be gone. Beautiful yet pained gold and emerald orbs gaze at their reflection.

Subaru's memories only hold the image of his sister up until their 16th year. Even the blurred memories, where she broke through to wake him up, find something to protect, she looked just the same as the day she perished.

'Happy Birthday, Hokuto' Subaru murmurs up against the mirror, voice bittersweet and shaky. How he wished he could see her again.

If only this were a storybook. He could meet his twin again, breaking to the other side into a whimsical mirror land. She'd be alive... Meet Kamui and adore him, instantly accepting the younger male as her brother-in-law.

But… Some wishes were near impossible. Or the cost being too great.

"I hope wherever you are, my sister…" Subaru places his hand flat upon the mirror. He lingers there, looking at his features, hoping to see Hokuto, what she'd look like had she been here today. "That you can be happy." He speaks the words as a blessing, the thought of Hokuto being at peace, maybe even feeling a new sense of love for another…, that hope helped to ease his conscience.

With a final, saddened smile, Subaru pulled his hand away, leaving his reflection and the thoughts they brought alone.

"Subaru!" The kind yet urgent call of his name brings Subaru out of his painful recollections.

Rising warmth comforted him at the sound of footsteps scurrying up the stairs. Subaru turned back to see a frantic, wide-eyed Kamui. Such worry drowning his eyes.

Subaru saw a blur of raven-black, before he felt the impact of Kamui lunging, squeezing him into a tight embrace. All while nearly toppling his lover over in the process.

The surprised male has to catch his breath, slowly returning the overflowing affection. His arms tightly wind around Kamui's waist, pulling him.

"Kamui…?" Subaru softly asks, looking down at his boyfriend. He frowned seeing beautiful violet-blue eyes shiver and start to tear with deepened emotion, slowly they slipped out, one drop at a time.

'And your tears now are for… me. ' - Subaru had to lean back, getting a closer look at his angel. Kamui sensing, crying for his sake, would always leave his heart captive, shaking his world. Every day seemed to provide something that only pulled his heart further into the abyss of everything Kamui. He only wanted to continue this feeling, the deepest emotions, and depths of his heart coming to life.

"I was worried," Kamui answers, always having this other sense when it came to his lover. He sniffles, burying his reddened nose and eyes to his lover's sleep shirt. With a cool breath, he looks right back up, earnest and completely devoted. "You're alright? I know… this day… Maybe it isn't the easiest. But it's still your birthday so I want to celebrate with you. "

Subaru's shimmering eyes widened at the question, his lover's intuitive nature. The way Kamui even looks from his lover to the mirror, only shows how deeply he looks into understanding Subaru's pain.

"More than alright now…," Subaru assures, smile melts on his lips, and he pets the top of Kamui's head.

He breathes, "I just wanted to wish my sister a 'Happy Birthday."

'Somehow even these painful parts of life... Don't hurt as much when I tell them to you.' Subaru pauses to admire his angel, before kissing his lips adoringly.

Kamui turns up with a concern, at the words, the bittersweet emotion.

"Are you… okay? I can give you time if you need more…" Still torn, he gives the offer unable to stop, smiling as he nuzzles his lover's chest, "But speaking honestly… Maybe selfishly, I really don't want to be away from you."

"Kamui…" Subaru breathes, his thumb moving to gently wipe a few brewing tears away. He shakes his head, squeezing his lover incredibly tight, truly wanting to always feel like one. "I want you with me." The array of emotions makes him fluster, he cups both of Kamui's cheeks before giving him a very long and amorous kiss.

"I feel I can talk… even of my sister. I… keep thinking how If you were to meet her… however possible. She'd love you."

"O-Oh," Kamui blurts, streams of red and pink brushing all across his cheeks. His heart flutters, knowing how deeply Subaru had let him in. "I hope she would…" He responds meekly, uncertain

"She would," Subaru states this as a fact, he ruffles the top of Kamui's hair, only lingering a little more as a cute pour falls over his beloved's lips. "She'd love you. Of course not nearly as much as… I love you but… " Subaru breathes the words warm and quiet over Kamui's lips. A light in his eyes begins to brighten as he looks into beautiful doe eyes.

"I love you, so much," Kamui professes, face a lot and elegant, an angel from above. The ethereal male leans up on his tiptoes.

Pink plush lips seal over Subaru. He chastely kisses his boyfriend and takes his hand. There's a soft moment between them as they fall into the warmth of each other's embrace.

"I have breakfast ready," Kamui eventually supplies. With a wry smile, he pulls his boyfriend along the way with him.

They make their way back down… of course with no rush to separate… Their hands link even walking from the bedroom down the stairs, needing the connection.

Their table was fully set, with a soft white tablecloth, a centerpiece of roses, and tulips placed neatly.

Food is already prepared and spread out. A small plate of fruit sits beside a bowl of yogurt. Warm toast resides on the plate closest to their main meal. Beautiful, golden, and fluffy pancakes, topped with whipped cream and a blend of berries.

"Thank you," Subaru expresses, pulling Kamui into another tight hug. A sweet, lingering press of lips, before they return to the table.

Kamui's chair is pulled out for him. The gentle and caring gesture makes the younger man's lips curl up before taking the offered seat. Subaru can't help but do at least this much.

"I hope you like it," Kamui says pensively, eyes drifting from the beautiful culinary display and back to his lover's eyes.

Subaru shifts his chair across from his lover's, sitting a little closer. He grasps Kamui's hand across the table.

"I love it," Subaru answers before trying the first bite. He snorts upon seeing Kamui's lips sulking. "And I will try it right now," he ensures his young lover, digging in for the first bite of pancakes.

Kamui had no need for the nerves, seeing the reaction.

Subaru goes Starry-eyed. He further validates his opinion. "It's amazing," he praises, licking at his lips.

Kamui looks over at him, skeptical, searching for the truth beyond his lover's politeness. He leans back into his seat, seeing a sincere gleam in his dual-colored eyes. They only continue to shine, earnest and genuinely impressed, while Subaru indulges in the next few bites.

"I'm glad," Kamui accepts the small victory, knowing it makes him way happier than it probably should. But… he couldn't help it not when

"Sub-" Kamui pauses, feeling the dollop of whipped cream pressed to his lips. Tenderly, his lover holds out his fork, holding a particularly sweet bite of cream and cake.

"You need to eat as well," Subaru answers the unspoken question rising in violet eyes.

Kamui flushes, gradually parting his lips and taking it in.

This begins a rather addicting and slightly sensual game. The lovers take their turn feeding the other, with plenty of breaks for kissing in between. By now, Subaru is sitting right beside his lover.

The taste of each other alongside the sweetness takes over all senses. They lose themselves until every bite is gone. This follows with several deep, languid kisses, tasting that addictive sweetness once more.

Time seems to slow, the world around them fading into the back. Countless unspoken words of love shift between emerald-gold and violet-blue orbs.

"Thank you, that was…" A pause follows, and Subaru licks his lips, intentionally capturing Kamui's eyes. "Amazing," Both terribly flushed, knowing the thanks went beyond just the prepared meal.

"I'm really glad…" Kamui licks between his lips, the sweetness lingering inside. "I have gifts for you as well."

"You didn't have to-" A slender finger presses over Subaru's lips before he can speak any further.

"I really wanted to," Kamui ensures, kissing right where his fingertip lay. Violet-blue orbs glisten enchantingly, and long dark eyelashes flutter longingly. The nail in the coffin comes from the younger male biting down on his lower lip. "I'd love to see you open your gifts… if you'd want to."

There was no need for the latter. Subaru was captive to Kamui's spell before the 'request' was even made.

'So easily… you sway me.'

"Of course, I want to," Subaru returns with his charming gaze and soft smile.

Several beautifully wrapped gifts were presented in the living room. Subaru was led to sit back down on their couch and view the beautiful gifts.

"You're wonderful," Subaru professes, soft, lovesick, and entrancing. A tug on Kamui's hand pulls him to sit right at his lover's side. The younger male holds no complaints, snuggling close, resting his head on a comforting shoulder.

"It's not that much…" Kamui returns humbly, nuzzling with the side of his cheek.

"Kamui," Subaru takes his hand, keeping it right upon his lips. "I know I'll cherish every one of them." The obvious yet unspoken because they're from you rings in clearly.

Kamui swallows, finding the room narrowing and warming up by the second. He leans his head down, dark bangs covering more flustered features as he quickly hands his lover one of the wrapped boxes.

Subaru accepts this graciously, carefully opening the wrapping as though a single tear would cause ruin. Untying the ribbon on top, he finds a plain white box.

"Kamui…" Subaru stops, gold and emerald eyes widen upon removing the top of the box. His fingers barely graze over smooth and silky material, folded up nearly. A soft bright silver color catches his eyes, the color unique to his wardrobe, being shimmery, and glossy. A color he never would have believed suited him…. Having felt a dimness in his world for so long. But now… it seemed to fit.

'You've made my world start to shine again' that brilliant light at the end of the treacherous tunnel.

Subaru unfolds the fabric to reveal a long and luxurious trench coat. One of a very similar brand to Subaru's collection. He can't help but say, "This is way too expensive…"

Kamui frowns, hearing those first words. "If it makes you feel better it was from a campus shop, and I got a bit of a discount from Nokoru…" A bit being that Nokoru paid for the mentioned gift, in exchange for Kamui working some hours around campus. It turns out the 'mountain' of unorganized paperwork was no exaggeration. Kamui shakes his head looking back fondly. "Trust me, it's no problem… Do you… like it…?"

Subaru looks skeptically at his lover, uncertain what the discount entailed, provided by CLAMP school's elite director. It did make him feel a bit better, knowing his lover didn't spend every penny of his savings and recent earnings working alongside him.

"I love it," Subaru ensures, holding out the coat and gazing over every etched detail from the pockets to the flawless lining of a bright gray hue. "It makes me think of you."

Kamui blinks, cheeks starting to flush, preparing to burn up more. "What do you mean?"

"The way it shines," Subaru begins holding the coat up. He places the long coat over his lover's shoulders. His lips melt into an adoring smile.

'It always looks best on you.' To the lovestruck mind, that went for everything.

'"It's quite like you," He sweetly divulges, caressing heated cheekbones.

"Oh… but… " Kamui murmurs under his breath. His expression was painted with an alluring shade of pink.

"Of course, you shine much brighter," Subaru insisted, tone quite determined and serious.

"You're the one who's who shines…" Kamui's tone softens to a mere whisper. Though the words rang clearly for his lover.

Subaru wrapped an arm around Kamui, giving a sweet thank you kiss on his lips.

Kamui blushes a little harder, he works towards keeping the focus on the remainder of the presents. "You have more gifts… though the rest are more homemade… ."

"Then I know I love them," Subaru gazes adoringly, wrapping an arm snuggly around Kamui and lifting him. A small gasp escapes before the smaller male is deposited in his lover's lap, surrounded by familiar warmth.

Subaru had slowly but surely opened the next couple of presents. With quite a bit of lingering, lips locked, caressing exchanged and bodies tangling up together.

First, a deep green candle, surrounded by glittering stars, Subaru's birth date and astrological sign inscribed.

"I love this," Subaru praises, already too far gone, and only on the first gift. He feels an urge to light it up already but feels a hand over his.

"You have more to open," Kamui reminds, gently, a bemused grin crawling up his lips.

"True…" Subaru readily agrees and turns to the pole of perfectly wrapped presents. Each one handpicked by Kamui, the tug on his heartstrings was ruthless.

A melting smile appears as Subaru unwraps the next: a small heart-shaped pillow, seemingly hand-sewn with 'S' and 'K' stitched in the center.

Among the gifts were several handmade journals custom-made with a variety of colors. The blank paper and cardstock cover were bound together neatly with a string on the spine. Each and every cover has calligraphy in the center. Sumeragi Subaru displayed Kamui's writing.

The last gift held its own special sentiment. Subaru carefully opened the gift, being in a large teal bag with 'Happy Birthday' on each side. The bright tissue paper concealed the present but was quickly removed.

Subaru pulled out a customized binder, colored a deep forest green. In the center had been a small printed image of their first photo taken together.

'Our Love Story.' was printed beneath the photo. The gift receiver found his hands begin to shake, and watery eyes begin to gloss over.

"This is…" Subaru the first page of what appeared to be a scrapbook. An envelope concealed within with a series of 'love coupons' inside, with generous offers starting innocently enough with a massage, romantic dinner, kisses in any style… more sensual topics.

"I'll… certainly take you up on these," Subaru ensures, light-heartedly, though feeling a heart brewing in his core. Though his own cheeks were on fire as he saw the words such as 'any position' written on the more mature love coupons.

"That's just the f-first page there's a lot more-" Kamui knew his face was reflecting the fire he felt inside. He fidgeted, still wrapped up in his lover's lap, and realizing just how 'shameless' his offers must seem. But they still felt so right. He couldn't and wouldn't deny them."Whenever you want to use them…just let me know."

Subaru saved his lover from further embarrassment, turning his head and stealing a kiss. Cherishing the surprise gift on the first page.

The next he saw a series of collections, a napkin with the logo of the cafe of their very first date. 'Our first date.' was written beside it. The logo from the menu of the Cafe, along with a napkin were tucked into the page.

Further pages… all having physical reminders of their time together.

Stubs from the movie they saw, and flyers of the various festivals Subaru had attended with Kamui.

Every page tugged harder on Subaru's heartstrings. A walk through memory lane.

Lips began to quiver as they looked at the poster for last year's Spring festival. Aside from that were several dried roses, not unlike the ones they encountered walking through the flower maze… where they almost kissed, almost confessed.

The page beside it is neatly labeled with themes of: 'Our first I love you…' And 'Our First Kiss…' The words are surrounded by dried spring flowers, nearly every color of the rainbow.

All their precious memories from the past year, are encapsulated in a single book.

"Kamui…" Subaru couldn't manage his emotions like this. Couldn't hide how he was feeling as a string of warm tears began slipping down his cheeks. He couldn't find the right words for how much this meant, for proof of memories shared last year.

"I love you…" Subaru breathed, turning and embracing Kamui so they were face to face. They fully embraced it.

Neither knew who moved in first, as they were pulled to each other Slowly, eyes began closing, lips began melding and moving together…hands moved all over to touch caress, and feel for even more…

Yet, for the moment Subaru paused, hovering over his lover who laid back on their couch. He smiles cupping Kamui's cheeks.

"You've made me…. Very happy." The words fall sweetly before Subaru leans down kissing and fully indulging in this intimacy. For however long needed.

---

Birth-Day-Date

Following a rather passionate morning, Kamui manages to get himself ready, and presentable (again) to go out.

The park was certainly a part of the plan. As they had done last year, Kamui packed several personalized box lunches for their picnic.

They choose to lay down their blanket and set it up in a spot far away from wandering eyes. Though with the weather being colder, it wasn't too hard to find.

"I hope you like these," Kamui says warmly, feeling a little confident after the success of today's breakfast.

"I know I will," Subaru assures with utmost certainty. As always, he holds that tender private smile for Kamui, before bringing out the bento boxes from their lunch sack.

The second Subaru opened the 'lid' of the boxed lunch he knew this was something he'd indulge in every last bite. The blend of sweet omelets rolled up, rice balls, fresh vegetables, and everything seemed to fit in place perfectly. Reminiscent of their 'not quite a picnic date' one year prior.

Subaru closed his eyes, ensuring to focus on his sense of taste as much as possible. He took the first bite from their lunch, feeling his lover's curious gaze, searching for every hint of his honest feelings.

"It's delicious," Subaru remarks, eyes bright and sparkling as they slowly flutter open.

Kamui beamed, unable to hide the same brightness shining on his eyes, and a victorious smile.

Every sign from his lover's words to the expression in his eyes aligned. Subaru loved this.

As it turns out… Subaru is being honest with me….

Subaru indulged in each little bite, savoring the taste. Sweetly, he'd take the given chopsticks, and hold out a vegetable or omelet bite, bringing them to Kamui's lips.

"You're incredible." Subaru breathes the words as an encompassing truth. He loved Kamui's cooking through and through.

Whether it was due to Kamui's genuine gift for cooking, the fact the person he loved was the one cooking or a mix of both was uncertain. But such sincere praise and affection warmed Kamui up to the core.

From the quaint little park, things were quiet, peaceful. The sound of birds, not deterred by the chilling weather, filled the air like a part of nature's symphony. They lost themselves in the calming world they made together.

"There is one place I'd like to go with you, after this," Kamui mentions, voice so sweet, soft, and melting from his lips. "If that's okay."

He was completely beaming, violet orbs sparkling, and silky hair casting off highlights of blue.

Who was Subaru to say anything but yes and nod?

"It's somewhere we haven't gone together."

Subaru's eyes raised, wondering over this new destination, and a new memory being built for them.

'Hopefully…. He doesn't find it childish.' Kamui is all but certain Subaru wouldn't say anything like that…. . 'But I've seen a lot of couples there…' He assures himself, that many couples are older than both himself and Subaru. At least, that's what he remembered last time he visited… It had been some time.

Having finished their lunch, and enjoying a few blissful moments, of cuddling up right beside one another. Kamui gradually began cleaning up, preparing for the next destination of their journey.

With utmost faith, Subaru followed his lover out of the park and through the twists and turns, leading to their destination.

Keeping it a surprise, Kamui had led his lover with anticipation. A breeze started picking up as they came closer to their destination. Kamui shivered slightly, pulling his coat tighter over his body. Subaru saw this smoothly wrapped his arm around Kamui's waist, pulling him close. The motion was discreet, not drawing attention but keeping the two men close.

Kamii was happy to have a surprise planned as simple as it may seem. Though he wondered when or if Subaru would recognize the area they were in. Maybe this was somewhere entirely new for them both?

Surprisingly, it hadn't been until they were walking towards the sign that anything came up. In bright and dark blue characters, the name 'Tokyo Sea Life Aquarium' is displayed high up on the building.

"The Aquarium?" Subaru asks, looking at the sign and the poster. The professional writing was surrounded by chibi and unique drawings of various fish and sharks. Somehow the different styles blended.

"Ah, yeah… I thought it would be nice…" Kamui speaks quietly, keeping his gaze on the answers in front of him. A sprinkle of rose-pink rusts above his cheekbones…. "because I know you love animals and…we haven't gone together before so…"

By now Kamui was burning up to his ears. 'Please, don't find that childish…' He worried slightly, as he looked up to see an endearing curl on his lover's lips. Pupils dilated, while watery orbs shimmered and took in Kamui with an enchanted gaze.

"You're…" Subaru had to stop himself. He walked up to Kamui, before sinking his head upon the smaller man's shoulder. A delicate kiss placed in that juncture connecting with the boy's sensitive neck. "so sweet…"

Subaru looked up, uncaring of who walked by or what happened around them. "Adorable." he purrs right into Kamui's ear, a warm breath causing the younger man to shiver.

A gentle hand trailed down Kamui's face. Fingertips paused over soft lips before trickling lower. Cradling the younger man's face, Subaru gently leaned in, simply letting their lips mingle together and brush, innocent yet so so sweetly.

"Thank you, Kamui," Subaru finishes, more than a little drawn in by his lover's expression. Beautiful violet doe eyes were bursting wide, taking in the affectionate words, shivering. His entire face stained a deep crimson, burning up from ear to ear.

Subaru only found the flustered features more enchanting, losing his breath as he looked at his perfect boyfriend.

"Ah…" Kamui took a breath, biting inside his cheek and glancing towards the entrance. Quickly, he pulled out two blue tickets with the Aquarium's logo on top. "I got these for us, so…" He doesn't finish up, the intention is out there.

Kamui wraps his hand snuggly around his lover's wrist pulling him along. Of course, the touch soon changes, their hands finding their, lacing together as though they were designed to.

They strolled up to the front of the building. The young woman at the ticket gate seemed to be all smiles, shining brightly, with her long pink-blonde hair. Her golden name tag reads 'Kobato'.

"Hello," She greeted cheerily, taking the tickets of a young mother and son in front. With a childish beam, she notices the child holding a familiar fish-shaped plush, the bulging eyes looking just like what they'd see at their school.

"Ah, is that a CLAMP school mascot? !" She kneels down, clumsily dropping the tickets in the process. "Oh, I'm sorry-it's just 'so cute!".

"Thank you…" the young boy whispers softly, seemingly drawn to the young woman, whose enthusiasm rivaled his own age group. Such a perfect demeanor for working with children. "It's my favorite toy. I'm going to CLAMP pre-school in the fall," he announces proudly, chest puffed out.

"Ah, that's amazing," Her eyes glow starry and bright. She claps her hands together, before quickly grabbing the tickets and scrambling back to her feet.

"Have you two been here before?" She asks so kindly, the mother can't help but smile back.

"Yes, we moved to Tokyo recently, and we're excited to see the sights around us," She explains, her young son peeking inside the building with amazement.

"Well here, have one of our maps for all the different animals," Kobato pulled out a pamphlet handing it to the young mother. Finally, she takes their tickets. and tearing off the edge of them. "Have a wonderful time!" She cheers with the young mother and boy waving back towards her.

Subaru and Kamui watched with interest. The workers' enthusiasm and clumsiness were like a kind of comedy act, but there was genuine kindness behind it all.

"Ah, Welcome. Is this your first time at the Sea Life Aquarium?" Kobato asks, taking the tickets from Kamui's hand, holding them tightly as though to not drop them.

The pair share a sweet look, falling to each other's eyes before returning.

"Yeah, that's right," Kamui murmurs, softly, unable to hide the fondness in his voice.

"Aw, then here's a map, you can find all of the different animal exhibits," Kobato hands the same flyer over to the pair. She looks fondly at the pair, eyes sparkling upon coming to a realization.' Such a beautiful couple.' "You two have a wonderful dat- ah day I mean!" She quickly corrects herself, flushing and then covering her mouth with her hand.

"Mhm," Kamui murmurs, cheeks pink. He quickly grasps Subaru's hand at the aquarium, pulling his lover along. "Is it… that obvious?" he whispers to himself.

"What is? " Subaru looks over fondly at him.

Those tender looks and their hands linked even right this second… the questions feel answered.

Kamui shakes his head, they still had so much to do and see. "It's nothing. I'm just happy to be here with you."

"As am I," Subaru coos, returning the sentiment. He gives Kamui's hands a squeeze, his eyes half-lidded. A certain look he often had before they were about to kiss.

Kamui's heart began racing. "Subaru," he whispers, unsure how to feel when his lover's lips 'only' graze the crown of his head.

"Where would you like to start?" Kamui asks genuine and soft.

"Wherever you-" Subaru's doting words are stopped by the press of a finger to his lips.

"This is your Birthday," Kamui stubbornly insists, his other hand resting on his hip, eyebrows lowering.

Subaru fought off the urge to laugh, keeping it at a soft curve of his lips.

"Then why don't we start here, and work our way to the exhibits in the back?" Subaru offers. The plan to see just about everything only extends their precious date time. The more time they had together, the more time to build memories the better.

They proceed to enjoy the stroll around the tanks, hand in hand. Near the entrance were many smaller exhibits. Fish of different colors swam around their home. They were no bigger than goldfish but all unique.

On display were Clownfish, soft yellow angelfish, guppies, and neon tetras, along with countless species from around the world.

"They're so colorful," Kamui commented fondly, leaning closer to the glass.

"Mhm," Subaru agrees, fondly watching his lover's eyes shift all around, taking in each unique glowing color.

"I really like them," Kamui notes happily, but adds on with a laugh, "If we got any kind of fish... I know our Hana would never leave them alone."

"She is quite curious," Subaru notes, barely hiding the gushing smile from Kamui's words,

'Our Hana Our Cat, Our home'

All those little terms piled up taking Subaru's heart captive, keeping him with the feeling of belonging… for a lifetime.

Their little excursion around the tanks remains quiet. Unhurried, they look from every fish, small and harmless, to aggressive forms.

Kamui had to bite his lip to suppress the smile, as his lover tugged him close to his side. They approached a piranha tank, with the carnivorous creatures getting too close to the class as the younger man looked in.

No real danger or worry… but seeing his lover's instinctive, protective reactions made the smile on his lips unable to falter.

Remaining quiet, during the visit, it intrigues Kamui when his boyfriend finally speaks out.

"I like this one," Subaru comments, drawing attention from his partner. He never showed favoritism before, simply liking the uniqueness of them all.

"Oh? Why is that?" Kamui's eyes widened, glistening as he looked towards the soft purple fish swimming all around the various rocks.

"They're the color of your eyes," Subaru admits, shameless, when it came to expressing these overflowing feelings.

Kamui's eyes rose, widening by the second as he looked from the violet-hued fish and back to his lover, holding a deep and infatuated gaze.

"Hey-Subaru - that's not fair! …" He hurriedly caught up to his boyfriend, whose pace indicated he had no intention of going far.

Kamui caught up, then tightly hugged his lover's arm, keeping him in place. "You… can't just say things like that!"

Subaru chuckled, enjoying every little reaction. No matter how long, seeing Kamui affected him, made him overflow with love.

From there the sea life only became more rare, unique, and extravagant. Every giant tank held various species, many more than the fish they saw earlier on.

"Seahorses," Kamui cutely, rushed up to one of the tanks, several seahorses cutely swimming around from one end of their home and around to the next.

"My mom took me to an Aquarium, not in Tokyo… but… I always loved seeing these," He then shifts towards an adjacent tank, with long almost mystical-looking sea dragons.

"And those as well," Kamui expresses, lips pursing as his mind takes a stroll through memories.

"She said they were like 'the dragons of the sea'," Kamui pauses, looking torn as he turns to his lover. "back then I thought that was so cool…."

"Kamui…" Subaru calls sadly, hearing such a bittersweet tone. It tore at him, knowing his lover's innocence became tainted by fate so quickly.

The Dragons of Earth and Heaven made many things seen in a different light.

But it was better to keep moving forward. That's what he'd learned from Kamui. Been inspired by.

"Do you want to get something to drink?" Subaru asks suddenly, causing his young lover to give a quizzical look. "It might be nice before any of the shows begin."

"Okay…" Kamui thought, allowing his lover to lead him wherever he wanted. He hadn't understood his lover's actions until they were in the line of the cafe, when he did, his chest stirred.

'Subaru…' Kamui leans his head upon his lover's arm. 'Always, you want to make sure I'm not unhappy.'

Being cold outside he appreciated the warm cup of cocoa handed over to him.

"Thank you," Kamui calls, blowing into the small opening on top of the cup decorated with images of sharks, dolphins, and penguins.

Subaru held his own drink, with an aroma of like a milky coffee drink.

"It's not a problem," Subaru responded, tenderly, guiding them to sit at one of the round tables. "It's not too hot right?"

Kamui snorts, his lover's overprotective habits filling him with mirth. "I'll be alright," he bantered lightly. "Have you been having a good birthday?"

"I have been. I like all the sea life….," Subaru reflects, adoringly as he turns back to Kamui. Slowly, leaning in, he whispers, with a rather soft, flirtatious tone exclusive to Kamui. "And I love seeing the expression in your eyes when you discover something you like."

"Subaru…" Kamui pouts gently, certainly flustered, burning from ear to ear. He couldn't find himself remotely, hiding the gushing curl on his lips. "But… I feel the same…" He murmurs quietly, taking a few sips of his drink, keeping himself from saying anything further… voicing more of the mushy thoughts inside his heart.

"I really want to see more things you like as well," Kamui expresses, fighting down further flush as the sweet and desirous gaze upon him.

Subaru brightens at the sweet and considerate words. Really, how could he not enjoy every sight besides his wonderful love? "I think it might be fun to see the 'Penguin' show." He offers, pulling out their map, and glancing over the times.

Judging by the bold font and pictures, it seemed to be a big attraction.

"Okay," Kamui seemed pleased, letting their little adventure progress naturally and peacefully.

They had managed to get in early enough to get close seats, watching as the animal trainers came out to feed and interact with the arctic birds.

From there they got lost in one another. Being close and observing the cute and intriguing animal shows… so peaceful. Well, for the most part.

True, there were a few instances with the exhibits. Being a bit too excited the sea life splashed around haphazardly, causing water to fall over the tank, some eventually dousing Kamui's outerwear. Nothing too determinantal, as even this hiccup proved to make a special memory.

Of course, Subaru instantly responded, comfortingly draping his long coat over Kamui's shoulders. The younger man beamed, pulling the warm coat snuggly on his body, he took in his lover's scent.

Their evening plans were simple, sweet, and lingering ahead of them, all relaxed and at home. A nice dinner and a very special dessert planned for the birthday boy of this evening….all of this returning back home.

---

Belonging

Returning home they indulge in the homemade cake. 'Happy birthday, my Subaru' drizzled on top with a dark green icing.

The cake with a sleek but creamy layer of frosting all around. Each slice contrasts beautifully with the light vanilla frosting and dark chocolate cake.

"Happy Birthday, Subaru," Kamui presented the cake, marveling at the way Subaru's eyes danced and brightened with whatever gift he bestowed.

"I love you," Subaru professes amorously, kissing his lover deeper than earlier before pulling him to sit with him. "It's delicious," he commends, licking the frosting from the seam of his beloved's lips.

"I'm really glad," Kamui voices, honest and blissful. Subaru looked so happy, that he couldn't help but feel a sense of victory. The overwhelming feelings and thoughts escape to words. . "I wanted you to have the best birthday possible…"

"Thank you for today," Subaru returns so tenderly, though there's something heating up and darkening his eyes. Though Kamui removed his dampened clothes, he couldn't suppress a shiver.

"Now, let's go and get you warmed up."

Subaru offered, intentions becoming crystal clear as he pulled Kamui close and kissed him deeply.

This led to their final celebration of the night.

Neither was able to keep the smiles off their faces as they walked up the stairs.

Lips locked, hands ravished everywhere and dampened clothes were tossed haphazardly to the bedroom floor.

Kamui practically squeaked, feeling hands under his thighs, suddenly lifting him high up. He responded, holding tightly to his lover's shoulders, arms wrapping around.

Swiftly, the sink handle was turned to the side, releasing steam, mimicking what was burning inside.

Refreshing sounds of water fell against the tile below, enticing the couple to become lost within. Subaru began taking them both to the shower stall.

Kamui gasped, feeling backed into and pinned against the wall. Feverish lips began 'attacking' his sensitive neck. His legs wrapped around Subaru's hips, tighter for more security.

"Kamui, thank you."Subaru expresses, giving tender kisses while his hands ravish his beloved, squeezing tender hips and thighs." I love everything you've done for me…" Subaru professes.

"And beyond everything, you must know…" He breathes warmly upon soft lips, stealing them completely. Before Kamui could respond.

Subaru took his lover's previous offer, tongue entering between soft lips again, smoothly, feeling everything inside. He finishes up, fully intending to spend the remainder of his birthday between this and the adjoining room, "You're all I need…"Ravishing every inch of Kamui, pressing his own body flushed and hard against his lover.

Subaru fully indulged in the most precious gift he could hope for.

---

-Request -

The thought had been on Kamui's mind for some time. He found himself here, standing at the threshold of their home office.

"It's just…" Kamui struggles to bite down on his lip. His fingers dig into the fabric of his uniform, anxiously.

Meanwhile, his lover remains unaware of what was to come. His eyes glimmer, putting his full attention on the younger man.

"You can tell me anything, Kamui." Subaru ensures, with that same gentle smile, waving Kamui to come closer.

"I know… it's just -" Kamui pauses, biting down hard on his lip. He didn't think there would be a perfect time to ask this. At least, Subaru seemed at ease finishing up with some documents.

"My love, you have nothing to worry about whatever you want to say is-" Subaru assures regardless of the topic. With a gentle hand, he beckons Kamui again,

"I want to be the one to make love to you!" Kamui exclaims right to the point. His cheeks deepen redder by the millisecond and he holds a hand to his lips.

"You… what?" Subaru blinks, processing the words. It's not like he hadn't thought of it.

Nor did he believe Kamui could be anything other than amazing at everything.

Though…he never expected It to come out so suddenly.

"You want to…."

As much as he wished it wasn't so…the thought of being in a more submissive role…brought out memories of the only other man he longed for. As 'little' as Seishirou and him have done in comparison… it still left a lasting mark on him.

Seishirou enjoyed being in total control. Seeing Subaru relent and submit to every teasing touch or bloodied kiss. There was never room for choice or asking for anything more…meaningful.

Of course, He didn't hate the few things he did with Seishirou, there was seduction to the domineering persona but also so much fear…and anguish….feeling he could only accept the little Seishirou gave, never attending to his own desires.

"Subaru," Kamui calls sweetly, eyes lowering with great heart aches at the pained look in his lover's eyes, mind occupied by unpleasant memories.

So Kamui takes the intimate to ensure…it would be okay. If that dynamic wasn't right for them now…there were plenty of things they could try.

Though Kamui couldn't deny the desire to make Subaru his…for them to lose any 'virginal' part of their relationship together was electrifying. To know the feeling they've loved and made love to one another, as their first and only…

"Subaru…" The younger man coos, taking a soft breath. He walks over and closes the distance between them.

Comfortably, Kamui climbs up on his lover's lap, always seeming to belong right here perfectly. His hand moves to caress Subaru's defined and flushed cheekbones.

"I'm not saying this as a pressure…I just wondered if you also would -" Kamui bit his lip, stopping himself. "there's no rush or anything…we don't have to unless you would like to…I just thought…I'd Like…" Kamui returns, peppering gentle kisses all across his lover's collar bone. It feels so right like shift, hearing every little gasp and mewl coming forth. "To care for you…make you feel the way you always make me feel."

"K-Kamui?" Subaru breathes, unsure how to handle how deeply those words heated him up inside. As soon as he looks Into Kamui's earnest deep violet eyes, he's certain, that whatever they did would become special. Physical affection with them would always be accompanied by overwhelming love and devotion. "You're my…everything…so…" he found the words overwhelming. Losing his breath showed how strongly the emotion stirred inside.

It feels foolish to even think switching to the usual Kamui roles…would make that fact any different. Certainly, experiencing this side of Kamui would only ensure just how loving and emotionally driven sex could be.

"And I don't … " 'Or right now.' Kamui's ever desirous mind supplies. …you'd like to…do anything you like with me."

Kamui didn't manage to watch his lover's expression, looking into his eyes, after offering something so shameless. But as embarrassing as it was, he couldn't find a good reason why he should be ashamed of this desire…with the one he loves most, to who he's devoted his life to.

Still, the words were out there and left Kamui vulnerable. He laid his head in the crook of Subaru's neck. Moaning some bing about how… he 'really just said aloud.'

If those words didn't get Subaru heated, nothing on this earth would. His heartfelt squeezed as harshly as the heat in his stomach coiled.

"Kamui…" Subaru breathily responds, subconsciously licking his lips, a more primal side of himself wanting to lift Kamui up on the desk and once again-

Subaru shook his head quickly. No, he had to focus here. "I just want to be sure…"

"Yes?" Kamui replies shakily, unknowing what to expect.

Subaru can't hide the pained smile quickly falling from his lips. Kamui could see through him well enough anyway.

"I'm not against it…please know that," Subaru takes a breath, a hand cupping under his younger lover's chin. Their eyes could meet. "I trust you, completely and I'm sure I'll love anything we do together…I- just."

Aside from ghosts of the past…his past experience with 'physical affection'…there was one more thing. A rather deep insecurity surfacing.

"But you just?" Kamui encourages, hands curling over his lover's shoulders keeping the heated gaze on tact.

"This isn't because," he clears his throat, flustering from the neck up. "I haven't…been satisfying you, right?"

"Subaru…" Kamui loses his breath. His cheeks blush a deep crimson, burning up more than ever this entire conversation.

When he realizes the implication he stops, stunned, blinking wildly trying to understand those words. He had to look into his lover's eyes, being certain he was…in fact serious.

A part of him wanted to cry out at how impossible the idea must be. Like his lover hadn't heard him screaming his name in ecstasy countless nights… To insanely embarrassing degrees, Kamui couldn't even admit to himself just how reactive Subaru made him.

"No, no, no."Kamui quickly ensured kissing his lover deeply for every no to follow. "How could I? Subaru…"

Subaru holds that vulnerability in his eyes, quivering and attempting to avoid the intense gaze his way. Kamui wouldn't allow that, cupping both his cheeks.

"No, of course not, I love feeling you and…" was Subaru really getting him to admit these things…so easily. "I don't want that to ever stop…"

'I'd lose my mind If I couldn't feel you inside again…' Kamui knows that much, that connection, was far too precious.

"This is something… I want to do it because I love being with you so much…" Kamui admits, finding voicing the words to only make things burn hotter. "I really just want you to feel that same way…to give you such a feeling. But it's certainly not replacing anything…"

"I…I'm sorry I just wasn't expecting it…. "Subaru pauses, wincing, upon the sunken curve to his lover's lips.

"But I…am open to this," Subaru admits, taking a small breath to correct himself. He feels a lightness as Kamui's beautiful smiles return to him."No, I want to…and so long as I'm not doing it wrong lately leaving you unfufill-"

Kamui's lips steal away any further words or insecurities. He parts his lips encouraging his lover to respond, to prove just how right Subaru had loved him, of course, physical as well.

"I'm yours," Breathless, Kamui Can't hide the lovesick smile. I'll always want you inside me. Kamui does not realize he thought aloud, until feeling hands clutching his hips harshly, and an irrefutable fire in his lover's eyes. And the hardness pressing into him only affects his own needs.

Not another word followed up. Lips far too occupied melding and moving together perfectly. Hands heatedly touching everywhere, grasping desperately to remove every piece of restrictive clothing.

Kamui found himself leaning back on his lover's desk, all other books and files pushed far off to the side. Their kisses only become scorching as they move this further along. A communication between their bodies' words couldn't compete with, that everything would be alright and the desire was mutual.

No, there was no way, intimacy between them could feel anything but right. No matter what. Swept away by the feeling, the topic was saved for a later time, though always lingering.

---

Trust

Another moment, another kiss, another touch all kept the lover entirely swept away.

A fairly frequent occurrence, snuggling on the couch led to little touches and kisses… kisses led to making out… which led to less innocent touching… then further arousal and a much-needed trip back upstairs.

When things started going it was almost painful to stop. Perhaps, it's how right, their hands fit together, or how their lips now connect as naturally as breathing. Maybe… it's the tender smile, assuring Kamui… everything would be alright.

"Can…. Can I make love to you… this time?" Kamui asks, slightly timid, eyes forward but shivering. He bites his lip, uncertain if… he proposed this at an ill time, ruined the mood between them for his desires. His fingers trace shapes in the couch cushions beneath them.

Uncertainty won out all other emotions. Still, there was a sense of hope. No words of rejection, no signs of dislike within his lover's eyes, and a small smile were rather… encouraging?

"Yes." Subaru ensures, positively, heart racing at the beautiful trickle of hope to begin dazzling within soft violet eyes.

'So it's not one-sided…' Kamui finds encouragement, even if it is wishful thinking. After all, his lover was kind and would do anything for him.

Subaru's tender smiles and indulgent kisses only verify the feeling. 'I couldn't say no to you… even if I wanted to…' but somehow… 'I want to'' with this moment, his heart held no doubts. This could only bring them closer.

While Subaru assumed he'd favor giving rather than receiving, he hadn't the experience to back off the claim. Though his heart knew he would never stop craving the feeling of being deeply connected, inside of Kamui.

"Really?" Kamui perked up, blushing, beaming, and overwhelmingly enraptured. An excitement, he absolutely shined, very much like when they made love for the first time.

Subaru nods at this, and before his lover can doubt himself further, he grasps for the smaller hand in his own. Kamui blissfully follows up the staircase and right to their bedroom.

"I-if I do something wrong, stop me." Kamui pours out his insecurities to his lover. He doesn't have the confidence to look him in the eyes, as they ascend the staircase.

But the desire was strong.

Kamui wanted every part of each other to belong together, to truly feel every aspect of intimacy.

"Kamui," Subaru began, in that tender voice he held… no this was even softer… overwhelmed by not just compassion but a deep-rooted love and trust. He sets his hand to rest over Kamui's, taking hold. "You'll be just fine." He relishes the way Kamui's eyes soften, lighten and gloss over, hanging on his every word, hope reliant here.

"It's a new experience…there's bound to be nerves…" He continues, unsure how much he was advising or speaking of himself. "It doesn't have to be perfect," he says briefly, despite himself holding that same worry the first time. "I love you, Kamui, there's nothing you can do to sway that feeling. Just work with what feels good, natural to you, and we'll… make love."

'So long as we're together like this… it simply can't be anything but right.'

Leaning forward, the words are further sealed with a soft lingering kiss.

"Subaru!" Kamui calls out blissfully. Violet orbs glitter with 'stars' of white. The younger man only falls that much deeper, his heart forever bound to this abyss.

Beautiful orbs of violet-blue completely steal and captivate the elegant sight of emerald and gold.

With a deep breath and a leap of faith, Kamui lunges forward, arms wrapped around his boyfriend's neck.

Subaru's lips are taken into much deeper, hotter, and longer kisses. Gradually, Kamui makes that final, soft push forward, and they both fall back onto the bed.

Needy, longing lips seal over each other. Again and again, until there's no sign or sense to keep track. Only air is a temporary deterrent between them.

Soft lips meld perfectly over Subaru's own, happy and comfortable with having control here. Granted access inside, a tongue traces throughout, licking the seam, roof, gums, teeth, and tongue of Subaru's mouth.

Not a second goes to waste, they indulge in an element of their relationship becoming second nature to them.

'This feeling…' Subarus mind can't pick a single word to describe it. This feeling is so good, passionate, hot, deep, languid, yet still somehow so natural, comfortably sweet, and countless more emotions flowing into one.

The younger man doesn't stop right here, though he does slow his movements, nerves taking their course.

'It's not that different…' Kamui feels as if he quite easily holds Subaru's body up close, and they move to lay more fully on soft, lilac sheets. Kamui laces their fingers together, pressing the back of Subaru's hands to either side of his head. With a loving smile and gesture, Subaru has done to him, he licks his lips, very much enjoying the feeling and seeing his lover pinned to the bed.

Kamui's mind conjures the image of a beautiful rare species, pinned to observe, like a butterfly…he mentally shakes the thought, no not quite right.

It's more like…

A rare beauty… unlike anything else before, simply lying back, trusting. A sight for only the eyes of one person and their eyes only. To be admired and adored.

Violet-blue orbs pause, as Kamui's smaller body, straddles Subaru's hips. His lips part, taking on the beauty, the soft ivory skin only enhancing just how deeply red his lover's cheeks become. Green and gold eyes begin to haze over with desire, pupils dilated the longer they gaze at Kamui.

'It's like… I…' Kamui holds the feeling, he has the No, perhaps… most definitely. 'I have the most beautiful person right beneath me.'

'Somehow I became very lucky…' After a series of poor 'luck' and 'fate'.

Not the first time while making out and hopefully not the last, Kamui can feel this rush, Subaru fully complies, lying back, patiently watching and waiting.

'It's Starting out like how we usually do things…' Kamui tries to assure his confidence further. 'It feels so nice.'

"I love you," Kamui confesses, soft, endearing, and now with a sense of novelty. This new experience is currently feeling like the very first time.

'I trust you completely.' Subaru feels the words resounding, whenever nerves of the unknown strike. After taking a labored breath, smiles. "I love you too, my Kamui."

"Unfair…" Kamui murmurs and feels his heart skyrocket, toes curling but keeps himself from melting completely. Under other circumstances, he would have just surrendered. It felt way too good that way, but now Kamui's eyes lit with a fiery determination.

There's a genuine smile, a guiding light, and a feeling of love so everlasting.

Kamui lies over his lover. Lips gentle into a more slow, sure, and meaningful kiss. Like some of their firsts.

All the while Kamui's hands brush down, exploring his lover's body. Long fingers trail down the light redshirt his lover had on, feeling between every button. Slowly, he begins to move further down.

Searching for that skinship, Kamui's hands slide under his lover's shirt, feeling over a slim abdomen. Hands tease below. All while his lips retreated from Subaru's for the sake of a new target.

"K-Kamui?" Subaru asks, biting inside his lip, trying to suppress the sounds he made. Kamui latched his velvety soft lips to the base of his lover's neck. Soft butterfly touches of lips and tongue traced over the heated skin.

"I can leave marks here, right?" Kamui's hands shook, holding the endings of Subaru's top.

Subaru's eyes widened and blinked. "Of course… like how you've done before. That's perfectly fine."

'And I'd be far too hypocritical to deny given the marks I've left on you…'

Dual colored eyes loom up, zeroing in on a fading red love bite, right on the base of Kamui's neck, left just a day ago.

"OK… I just don't want to be… too greedy…" Kamui mutters, meekly, kisses pausing to look down, focus where his hands were touching, and carefully remove every button.

"Greedy?" Subaru breathily, rests a hand on the back of Kamui's head, tucking him in close. Soothingly he explains, "You are the farthest from it."

Kamui's lips press a small kiss on the neck. He murmurs into the skin, "I….don't want to take too much…you're already allowing me to-*

"Kamui it's more than that," Subaru breaks in, not having any of it. "I want this with you," he ensures, kissing the side of Kamui's head.

'I'm the one who lacks experience…' Subaru reminds himself, feeling a sense of self-doubt. 'Despite being older…'

Not that he hadn't wanted to before…but that desire only came to the person he loved. There was neither the time nor loving attention given to fulfill this.

But leaning his head to the side, Subaru peers in at the spot Kamui's eyes rest, thus hiding his face.

This all brought out a new opportunity, one feeling right, unrushed, and done with compassion. Kamui would be his first and last here as well.

"Do you not realize how incredible you are?" Subaru asks, sweetly. His lips curl at the soft flustered squeak emitting. "I want to be with you, Kamui. I am happy to do this. I am yours after all."

"Subaru…" Kamui breathes, hopelessly lost in this, heart-clenching and pounding harshly in his chest. Beautiful violet-blue eyes sparkle embracing the words that made his stomach do backflips.

"I…" At least he leans up, propping himself up by his arms, looking his love in the eyes once more. Violet-blue orbs water and waver, not tearing but… somewhere close. "I'm so happy."

With that confidence, he begins removing the last few buttons on the shirt, back to work. Taking both sides of the shirt he opens it up, exposing a thin but toned upper body.

Kamui licks his lips, never once failing to notice his attraction. Blue-violet orbs ogling over the beautiful figure. But… seeing Subaru shifting his glossy eyes, body writhing beneath, drew Kamui in.

'I'm getting way too distracted!'

Kamui wanted this time to be wonderful and as close to perfect as his beloved is, as Kamui sees this.

A kiss upon an exposed navel, causes a shiver to stir up. The eager lover continues, caressing and kissing soft little patterns on his beloved core before working his way back up. Elegant hands trace around the older male's hip bones, fingers lightly graze.

"Mnn," Subaru lets out several little quiet sounds, mewls. Kamui beams, eyes dazzling, even the small quiet sounds such a victory.

'I want to keep hearing them again and again.'

Kamui continues, uncertain but with every reaction, he feels assured. Kamui's arms straighten out so he can hold himself up while staying extra close to his love.

"You say this to me but…" There's that soft almost shy tone again, the one driving his lover mad, desire fueling to be that much closer. "You're the one who is …" Fingertips fall and dance around Subaru's reddened lips. A longing gleam shines in violet eyes, "Beautiful." The distance between lips closes once more, this time lingered to a light press of lips.

'Kamui… ' Subaru reaches a hand up, touching his lover's cheek. The fact his perfect Kamui thought so highly of him drove his breath away.

"Subaru…" Kamui calls out, all too fondly. He lovingly holds the hand upon his cheek, before moving to do more. Kamui leaned back and angled his head a bit to the right. They are brought together as though by gravity.

Kamui's heart, body, and mind scream at him to take over and do absolutely everything he can to make his boyfriend feel so good.

An all too curious tongue breaks into familiar territory. Kamui begins claiming his mouth lips pressed hard as his tongue reaches to feel everything.

The soft curves all overwhelm his senses. It's just never enough. The harsh grooves and edges of teeth, the soft gums, cheeks, and the thin yet sensitive roof.

Kamui tangles his fingers through his beloved's hair, falling into the kiss so so easily. When Subaru responds, he can't help but feel a thrill and with lips in a battle for dominance, not that there was a way to lose.

"Nng!" Subaru groans slip into Kamui's mouth feeling such attention brought about. His tongue is urged to entangle. Even though his muffled voice comes out quieter than Kamui's, the latter savor every sound he can bring out.

Lips connected and meld thoroughly through their heated exchange. It lingers before slowing to quicker, softer kisses.

With one last sweet kiss, Kamui smiles, proceeding to his lover's neck once more pressing and teasingly licking at every little nook to be found.

At last, Kamui found just the right spot. He feels a hand clutching at the back of his head. The gentle tug makes Kamui shiver, and only further. Kisses form into licks, and deep sucking.

A hand clutches at Kamui's shoulder as the other entangles deeper into the black-green locks.

'Always… so soft…' Subaru thinks in a sense near delirium, swept away by the array of growing affection.

Passionately, Kamui's lips move in sucking deep in near the base of Subaru's throat, and keeping himself as in check as possible, bites down on that same tender spot.

The hand at Kamui's head pulls at his hair tighter, before slowly relaxing.

"S-sorry…" Subaru apologizes, so flushed, and all too cute in Kamui's eyes.

"Mn-m," Kamui murmurs with a soft shake of the head. "If anything… it felt nice."

Subaru's eyebrows raise at the admittance, before lowering and narrowing his gaze.

"A-anyway," Kamui coughs, finishing his 'masterpiece'. With an erotic pop, lips press off, as a gentle tongue soothes the love bite.

The younger male can't help but lean up and admire the marks he made, with a possessive kind of heat, Subaru was all his. He can't stop now and here, not if he wants to lose himself early. The movements hasten a bit.

Kamui kisses his lover's lips briefly. Both cheeks, eyelids, nose, and back to the mouth.

"Isn't this familiar," Subaru holds a gentle smile.

Kamui nods, cheeks raise from his lips curled up. Violet-blue orbs shiver before stealing one last sweet kiss.

"Yes, and I love when you do this," Kamui ensures, brightly, the sense of embarrassment to admit this much is nearly gone, especially during intimacy. Now he indulges in giving kisses that made both of them melt.

In response to the familiar scene, Kamui grasps both of Subaru's hands on his own. Soothingly and sweetly, he places a lingering kiss on the back of both hands, palms, and every finger. The redness growing on Subaru's cheek makes it worth it all the more.

"You're so perfect," Kamui coos, lovesick and completely gone.

"I… that word fits you far better," Subaru murmurs, seeing the curl of such contended lips, and eyes half-lidded.

Kamui shakes his head all too fondly. "You are perfect to me." He states the word as his absolute truth, sealing it all with a lingering wet kiss. No protesting allowed.

The longer they linger, the more a pressing desire begins to form and go on.

With one last kiss to the lips, Kamui lowers himself, kissing all over his lover's chest. His fingers move toward two exposed nipples, rolling between the forefinger and thumb, just as Subaru did to him. It was rare he could offer the same.

"K-K… ah… mui…"

His heart churns at the broken-out cry of his name. Sure he did something right, lips quickly came to kiss his lover's left breast, and its pinkened bud.

'Closest to your heart. ' Kamui thinks, brain mushy, feeling quite taken.

Gentle presses of lips, sweet, chaste motions tease over one side, while his fingers work on stimulating at the right speed and pressure.

Only feeling encouragement, Subaru cradles the back of his head. His other hand on his back fingers digging in.

"Mnn…K-Kamui…" Subaru's moans stir up everything inside.

'I need to speed this up if…' He can't even finish the thought. At last, the kisses turn to lingering licks and suck over such a sensitive bud. A loud pop sounds as Kamui finishes one side and returns to the other.

"Ah, my Kamui…" Subaru mewls, very soft, but viable. His fingers dig in further to that expanse of raven black. Every time his lover sucked a bit too deep, too hard, he reacted, pulling on the black-green locks.

"Mm..Su…Subaru!" Kamui shivers, moaning harshly.

'I'm the one who's supposed to be giving you all the attention…'

But the thoughts are to no avail, Kamui could never hide how affected he is by Subaru's touches.

When Kamui sucks a little too hard on the delicate pink bud, he realizes he made a mistake. Subaru pulls at his hair, not painfully, but with enough pressure to make him burn in his lower stomach.

'This is bad… can't… get swept away so early…'

Sucking gradually fades down to licks and softer kisses. Kamui finishes the work with a soft kiss over the sensitive chest, from the left and right.

Kisses trail down without pause. Loving, feeling, and worshipping every press of skin from the chest, the soft skin over a prominent rib cage, and down to his lover's diaphragm.

All the soft gentle kisses stir something in Subaru's heart.

"Kamui… Mn... I.." Subarus cried and mewls were even softer, calmer than earlier but somehow… sound even more beautiful to his lover's ears.

"Can I?" Kamui pauses to lock eyes with his love. A small smirk pulls up, at the obvious bulge in the front of his lover's pants. One he brought out.

"Yeah…" Subaru nods, breathily as hands are already working their way. Fingers unbutton the trousers easily enough, Kamui ensures to keep his lover's gaze, his teeth holding to the zipper, and pulling it down over the most sensitive region.

"Kah… Kamui…"Subaru calls, unable to look away from those beautiful eyes, and unable to remain still. The desire was growing further.

'It feels far too good…' Subaru thinks as Kamui's hands are busy pulling down his trousers teasingly slowly.

"You're unfairly hot," Kamui compliments in a near sulky and frustrating tone. His own legs start rubbing together, looking at the place that made him see stars every time. Lips press over the underwear before that too becomes moved.

"Y-you too…" Subaru reminds him before his lover indulges further. Overheated, he grasps Kamui by his shoulders pulling him up.

He takes Kamui's lips eagerly, ravishing them. Clear arousal mixes in with all the heated and deepening kisses.

Subaru's saintly patience becomes tested, allowing his love to take over and slowly work its way to this point. But it's becoming too much, hands make quick work of Kamui's shirt, quickly undoing every button and tossing the clothes off and onto the floor.

"Su-baru…" Kamui thinks, as quicker work is made of his lower half. Heated and needy hands slip into the waistband pulling it down as far as possible and doing the same with his underwear. He hides his face in his excited lover's shoulder.

"Subaru…" Kamui mewls, as his lover all too boldly, grasp the back of his legs, holding them up so he can fully remove the restraints between them.

"Don't worry… I'm letting you take over now," Subaru promises, despite the quite daunting temptation to simply throw Kamui back on the bed, ravishing him.

"Oh…" Kamui catches his breath, feeling rather needy and possessive hands on his hips. "Okay…"

Kamui shouldn't have underestimated just how hard it would be to not fall into their usual dynamics. Nor how much he craved Subaru inside…

'No, I can definitely do this… ' The younger man reminds himself, slipping off his lover's lap before it was too late. Violet-blue orbs gaze heatedly, at the sight of a flushed, panting Subaru, exposed, covered with love marks.

Kamui licks his lips, finding this sensation taking over. This growing desire. The younger man slowly goes down, leaving a trail of kisses and a few newer love bites on the way down.

Feeling far too hot, Kamui works more swiftly, with the peppering kisses around his lover's pelvic area. Warm breath ghosts over the most sensitive, dripping area, as it's left teasingly behind, to come back to later.

Subaru lets out a frustrated groan, sending shivers and fire all throughout his boyfriend. His hands planted on either side of his body, digging into the sheets. 'I can wait for this…' He tells himself, now realizing just how frustrating, teasing can feel like this.

There was no chance he'd ever ask his lover to change or hurry, not when it was his first time doing this. So biting his lip Subaru waits, eyes foggy, yet entranced seeing his lover's head erotically between his legs.

"You're…" Kamui kisses down what feels to be the most perfect legs, the perfect tone, length, size, shape, and softness, from the most perfect lover. "Incredible…"

The younger man could only give further into this emotion. Growing heat and ache between his legs only left him so far gone.

"So so…haa hot and…" Kamui starts off, feeling a hand slipping through his hair, making his own legs brush tightly together, needing.

Plush, loved-upon lips linger between all too sensitive. inner thighs, starting from left to right. All too perfect, this kind of feeling only stirred the heat further into Kamui, his violet-blue eyes glimmering with an almost heavenly light. Not that he could realize this, this far gone.

"Mmmn," Kamui purrs, licking, kissing, and sucking languidly on every little centimeter of skin he can love on. His heated gaze shifted to look at his lover, ensuring things were okay… but he only found himself encouraged. The hand on his head gripped him tightly, making him moan into his lover's heated thighs.

"Beautiful too," Kamui professes, further lovesick. Taking his time to tease and indulge in kissing and marking everywhere he could. It just never felt enough.

'In a place only I can see… '

"Ahhhn, K-Kaa…" Subaru moans, higher and louder than Kamui's brought out before. The younger male feels his growing need aching near very painful thresholds.

Dedicated lips and tongue begin claiming new marks between the beautiful legs. Kamui found this one place on Subaru's thighs, right in the center, his lover couldn't resist. The intoxicating heat and softness between shivering legs drive the younger man's senses to new heights. The scent of his beloved drives him wild and watching soft legs struggling not to close in, all Kamui could do was give in, ravishing him completely.

"K-Kamui!" Subaru cries out, a mix of pleasure and pain, feeling his lover's deep biting in a bit harshly, forming a lasting and darkening bruise.

"S-sorry!" Kamui's hazy gleaming eyes, lower, shivering with worry as they fall into dazed pools of gold and emerald. "I'm s-so sorry, Subaru. I just got caught up in this and-"

Gentle fingers pressed to his lips, leaving him breathless and weak all the same.

"You're alright Kamui… I… wasn't used to it at all… but it's alright" Subaru turns his head to the side, cheeks fluorescent reddening, making Kamui's heart leap. "I… love how you make me feel. "

Beautiful doe eyes widen at this, unable to hold in the tangling feeling of raw desire and love, Kamui leans up and lunges forward, kissing his lover breathlessly. The feeling of a sweet victory overtakes him. Subaru kisses back with equal passion, need and proof the heated desire was mutual.

The younger man relishes the moment, lingering on deep, wet, and even a little messy kisses. He feels a hand holding to his own, fingers laced so perfectly.

Their lips remain intact. Though Kamui makes a move, lost in their rhythm, his hips grind down on his lover, as they both cry out. As the kissing slows so a desire for more takes over.

"I'm going to…" Kamui breathes hotly on his beloved's lips. "Continue?" with the uncertainty of a question.

Subaru nods at this, leaving Kamui with one last lingering kiss, before allowing him to go on.

'This is it… Subaru thinks, feeling the "main act" approaching. His lover hurriedly shifts off the bed, shaky hands grasping for and dropping the bottle of lubricant.

A fond smile comes to the older lover's lips, adoring Kamui and finding himself secure. 'I'm with you, " Subaru reflects helplessly, drowning in love, everything Kamui.' and soon we will be connecting… '

Kamui's hand strokes his lover's neglected need. Subaru arches his back, closing his eyes to keep from losing it suddenly.

The movement is a distraction, as Kamui opens the lid of the lubricant bottle with one hand. A hand retracts, for the sake of coating long still trembling fingers.

"Kamui," Subaru leans up slowly, grasping the trembling hands and calming them between his own. "You'll be fine. Take a few breaths if you need to… and know I trust you completely. I love you. "

There's such faith and certainty from the statement, calming Kamui's hand.

"I love you too…" As waves of watery emotion stir under violet eyes. He nods, slowly moving back to position as his lover releases his hand, one tight squeeze.

Rather indulgently, Kamui coats the soft cherry-red lubricant over three fingers, putting a focus on the first one.

"Tell me if anything hurts…" Kamui bites down on his lip, easing at how naturally his lover smiles.

Slowly and steadily, his fingertip breaches his beloved's tight entrance. The warmth alone, and tightness, make Kamui's hardened arousal twitch.

The first digit, coated and slender slips in easily, disappearing inside Subaru's body. Kamui can't stare for long, knowing it would be too much.

Breaths quicken, yet Subaru still manages to stay calm, for the act, body used to the sensation. Though having a lover… touching him like this was… so much more than he'd expected.

Kamui watches his finger, sliding inside and out all too focused, moving entirely slowly, adjusting to the feeling of his taller lover's body squeezing in on him.

"Is another… okay?" Kamui asks hesitantly, middle finger, already grazing the tight muscle. With a confirmative hum, he slides both lubricated fingers deep inside his lover.

"Ah K-a~" Subaru let his head fall back, body eased and taking in each motion with stride.

"You've done this before…" Kamui voices his thoughts aloud, confirming. While not receiving a response the deepened blush confirms.

Knowing this much, Kamui begins to speed things up, pumping his two fingers deep inside and out of his lover.

A possessive, protective emotion took over Kamui. The past… was in the past… but certainly Subaru started that when he felt for…. Kamui shook his head

' I only want your thoughts to be of me… when you do that… '

"K-Kamui…" Subaru calls, biting his lip as though to hold back more. Fingers scissors and stretch out the tight muscle, reaching every sensitive nerve inside.

"My Subaru," Kamui remarks, possessive and desire fueled as his fingers proceed entering in and out at a deeper and harder pace. Recalling a pleasurable feeling done to him, Kamui follows up by curling his two fingers deep inside, brushing against the sensitive walls.

"Mnnnn," Subaru moans, seemingly restrained as he closes his eyes. His back arches as he loses himself in the pleasure feeling.

When Kamui holds his gaze, he looks for further approval to proceed. He needed to prepare his lover to prevent as much or all pain if possible.

With this motion, Kamui enters a third finger, his lover's pants and hitched breaths growing rampant until he finally cries out.

"Kamui!"

The younger man groans, feeling his erection leaking at the needy tone. All at once, he slips the three fingers out, leaving a groan to fall from his lover's lips.

The empty feeling was soon to be easily replaced by much more.

Kamui pours out a healthy amount of lubricant between his hands. Excitedly, he coats his hardened cock with layers of lubricant, ensuring every millimeter would be covered and work easily inside his lover.

The tip is angled near, kissing his beloved's entrance for the very first time. Kamui stops to crawl back up to his lover, stealing a few soft kisses.

"I love you," Kamui breathes, deep into the kiss.

"I love you too," Subaru returns, flushed and with so much sincerity in his eyes, it makes his lover ache. Seeming to know this he adds, "You can continue."

"...Okay, " Kamui swallows, heart, accelerating against his ribcage.

Moving on, Kamui holds the base of his erection, ensuring to steady himself. With a final layer of lubricant for good measure, Kamui slowly pushes the head inside.

Immediately, Subaru's toes begin to curl, back-arching, lips letting out a soundless cry. His heart and body overwhelmed Kamui equally, attacking both so directly.

"Subaru," Kamui calls, all too lovesick, and with every ounce of patience, moves as gently as possible, until he becomes fully embraced by Subaru's body.

"I… you…" Kamui breathlessly leans up and over to his lover. Sealing their lips into soft, comforting motions. to keep himself in check. His lover is given the time to get used to the stretch.

'This… feels nice… .' Subaru thinks with a revelation. Expecting far more pain as he is associated with all things more submissive.

For his first love, there wouldn't have been a chance things would progress without pain… even the deep kisses of the past were hard and painful.

'Of course… with you, everything feels right.'

Holding a more romantic part of himself captivated, being physically pursued and cared for all the same.

This was Kamui… of course, no matter what role, he'd ensure his love felt good, safe, and comfortable

Stil, so deep inside, a wave of heat closes over his hardened cock. It's almost too much… but he waits. Kamui slows their kisses, burying his eyes in his lover's shoulder, waiting for the adjustment, and keeping himself in control. Even if all he wanted was to feel more… and more, to make his lover feel so so much.

The heavenly relief flows through Kamui, as he feels a hand softly petting the back of his head. Hot breath whispers against his ear, giving him the permission needed to move.

Kamui took the permission without a second thought. Even if it was a slow gentle pace he needed to feel so much more… to move and ravish his lover's body until they both came undone.

Subaru's long legs are spread out accommodating the younger man. Kamui holds himself up with arms pinned beside his lover's head.

'I'm actually in… Subaru.' Was Kamui's last semi-coherent thought before diving in completely. Beginning, with the gentle rocking of their bodies, moving just enough out and in to get a reaction.

The younger lover searches for that spot deep inside, while slowly getting used to the immense heat and tightness embracing the most sensitive part of him. Returning to hot and lingering kisses helped not only to adjust but… to feel all the more intimate.

Subaru's long legs closed around his hips, and hands clutched to his lover's back for purchase. All in a way Kamui had only dreamed of before.

"I love this…" Kamui murmurs between the exchange of lingering kisses. He slips his hand between their bodies, giving enough attention to his lover's dripping cock to soothe the ache, but not as far for things to end too soon.

Gradually, as the kisses deepened, and fingers dug into his back, Kamui picked up a much more satisfying pace. One their bodies needed as their moans became wildly tangled up between their lips. Moving just a bit faster, deeper inside and harder, searching for that tender place.

Kamui's body worked experimentally pulling out near completely and quickly entering in all at once. A tactic that left his heart racing many times.

"KAMUI! " The shrill cry of name resounded, their lips barely apart. Feeling satisfied, Kamui smiles, memorizing every detail of what he did and how to return there.

Guided by such heated intimacy, Kamui continues to target that part deep inside his lover, making him clench almost violently over him.

"Subaru," Kamui purrs, a fire burning inside, as he takes both of his lover's legs into his hands and holds them tenderly. Subaru watches through watery lidded eyes as his legs are held up, knees bent and pressed to Kamui's sides. The younger man returns with a passionate gaze, kissing his lover's lips feverishly as he penetrates his lover from a different angle.

"K-Kamui!" Subaru mewls and cries out in his lover's mouth with little to no control left. His fingernails dig deep into Kamui's back, leaving crescent marks behind.

Kamui practically growls at the sensation, finding the fire inside his body beyond control. He dives further down, kissing his lover deep hard, and without restraint. His hips begin driving in and out of his lover that bit further.

"K-Ka… mmmph-" Every little cry leaving Subaru's mouth becomes eagerly devoured. The younger lover continues to shift, his lover's legs closer and higher, experimenting with the angle that would allow them to connect as deeply as possible.

Relentlessly, the movement continued, pace going beyond either's control, but never too harsh, as they chased this overwhelming sensation. Kamui thrust particularly hard right against his lover's prostate. This leads to the older love tightening harshly around him, and legs wrapped in and around Kamui's waist, chasing the feeling, needing more to feel as much and as deeply as possible.

Subaru's long legs tightly embrace Kamui, while hands dig harsher into his upper back.

And Kamui just about loses it there… but he can't… a desire swirling inside. One hand moves in to hold and interlace with his beloved, pinning it to the bed. While another grips Subaru's hips tightly, to dive in as deep and passionately as possible. One sweet kiss was exchanged, a breather before their bodies moved wildly together.

Kamui put his all into every thrust, lingering deep inside, and pulling out, only to feel his beloved cry. Returning inside harder and faster every turn, leaving his lover senseless.

Subarus' legs were adjusted even higher, allowing Kamui perfect precision to strike at his lover's center of pleasure.

'I want to let Subaru come first…' - The thought drove Kamui to hold back just enough, despite how badly he wanted to drive in deeply and fill his lover with everything.

The deepening thrusts and rocking of their bodies left Subaru helpless. The pleasure from inside built up until he saw a vision of white.

"Kamui!" Subaru cries out, lost after his lover penetrates him deeper than before. His body clenched tightly around his lover.

This being the first time, Kamui could only hold out so long. He gave it his all for every hardening thrust before it became too much to resist.

"Subaru!" Kamui comes seconds later to his vision of stars as he loses himself to the feeling of coming deep inside. With every ounce of energy he has, he continues to thrust their oversensitive bodies, milked through a wild climax.

"I love you," Kamui whispers, unable to bring himself to pull out, and instead ends up falling to rest on top of his lover.

"I love you, Kamui," Subaru returns, kissing his lover's forehead. Smiling as the younger male falls asleep, so comfortably embraced, for the next few moments.

Post coupling bliss takes over all senses. Subaru can only look down at the lover, moments ago leaving him breathless, adorably snuggled up.

'This was very nice… ' He thinks, seeing a new side of Kamui, and how thoroughly he made love. Every kiss, caress, and rocking of their bodies felt enchanting. 'Though…' Subaru reflects, fondly brushing through his beloved hair. 'You're welcome. And I can't help but prefer to give as much love as I can to you.'

Still, there wasn't a complaint, his body was fatigued and sore but nothing overwhelming.

Beautiful violet-blue eyes open halfway, lidded and fondly. "Oh…" He blushes, realizing the tight heat around himself. "S-sorry…" He slides out from inside his patient lover and dives his head into his lover's neck, hiding there, burning up.

'You're the one embarrassed?' Subaru thinks bemused but finds thus to act too cute and perfectly Kamui.

"It's alright," Subaru ensures, brushing away sweat-dampened hair behind Kamui's ear. "I didn't mind it."

The words play through Kamui's heart like a melody. Still, he can't help but wonder, the heat of the moment down, his insecurities took place.

"Did I…. Do well?" Kamui speaks vulnerable, nuzzling his cheek over his lover's neck. He leans up briefly and locks eyes just long enough with his Subaru before hiding his face in his beloved's chest.

Subaru's eyes raise at the question such uncertainty, and vulnerabilities glistening through watery eyes.

Protective arms tuck Kamui further into an embrace. "Yes," Subaru returns, no wavering, only a soft certainty. "I liked feeling you… seeing another side to Kamui."

Kamui peers up, eyebrows furrowing, deciphering the emotion built in the light-hearted tone. Tenderness and perhaps far more than he could ever guess.

"Another side?" Kamui asks, perplexed. His only 'answer' involves a quick press to his lips. His curiosity gradually fades into the deepening kiss and hands grasping, caressing, and loving on every inch of Kamui they hadn't managed to before.

"I'm glad… I've been wanting to do this for…" Kamui shakes his head. "You feel amazing."

The words pour sweet like honey, pure honesty striking Subaru's heart. He can't help but redden and feel warm inside.

"If you have a need like this… I hope you know you can come to me," Subaru offers, having searched for similar words since Kamui asked. But still, being with his lover like this…having switched roles and still feeling Kamui cuddle up and wrap around him, he can't help but feel comfortable.

"I want to do everything if it means making you happy."

"Thank you," Kamui kisses the tip of his lover's nose. "I know I can talk to you… I was a bit nervous but…so often the thought of asking for this… got swept away."

"Swept away?" Subaru repeats his words curiously.

"Mhm," Kamui flushes much deeper, cheeks burning hotter and redder than at his climax. "I mean… I get lost when we're doing… it. It doesn't help how much I love it when you're the one to..." Kamui flushes, hiding his face away. "A-anyway… I… love doing everything I can with you."

Subaru holds a gentle smile. "Me too."

"I love being all yours…" Kamui begins to be far too embarrassed to admit more explicit details. "And feeling…. That you're mine."

Subaru breathes a soft, contented sigh. He rolls both himself and Kamui so they are resting on their sides. "I am yours, always."

Kamui finds himself snuggled up, following his lover's throbbing chest. His eyes water, swirling with a feeling of the deepest love and more beyond words. "And I'm yours… forever. There isn't…. A return policy. So you are stuck with me the rest of your life." A cheeky smile spreads over beautiful lips.

"Stuck with, not close to the wording I'd pick…. "Subaru laughs fondly, playing along with this mood. "Blessed, certainly."

"There's nothing I need more. And it goes both ways. I'll be with you always…."

"Subaru…" Kamui coos, feeling a rain of emotion, the reassurance of feelings, devotion, and commitment take over his senses. As he lets his eyes flood with all the longing, need, and breathtaking feelings of love.

Subaru does nothing but encourage and embrace Kamui to feel everything, holding him through the tears. The rain of emotion dies down to a drizzle, leaving Kamui to give in to the warmth and fall back into sleep and surely blissful dreams.

"Good night, Kamui." Subaru whispers, lulling back into a blissful sleep. "My everything." The couple is taken over by the feeling inside, so overwhelming, all-consuming, and most certainly everlasting.

End

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/Thank you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for following this long ongoing story as I will be adding a few more chapters, with romantic and angst-hurt-comfort scenarios before coming to an end and likely an epilogue. I hope you liked this chapter and being able to see Kamui 'topping' and initiating lovemaking for the first time. I imagine Subaru while being so in love with Seishirou, would accept anything emotionally and physically he could get so long as it meant he wouldn't disappear on him… even if it meant going through quite a bit of pain… So shifting from that dynamic to a softer, yet still passionate one with Kamui would be a change for him, but a welcome one. Hope you all are doing well. And I will see you in the next few weeks!