Ambrosia

by AyaxRoses

'Love. To truly love, that was one of the only things in this world that would never die. Even if you wished it to. Subaru and Kamui had grown to understand this painfully well.' An alternative ending to the final battle and a future for Subaru and Kamui to be happy together. SubKam SubaruxKamui BL-Yaoi-Shounen-Ai Past Fuuma/Kamui.

35. Rose Part 3

Ambrosia Chapter 35: Rose 3/3

Rose (color/type) symbolism for this chapter

blue: Attaining the impossible striped: the warmth of the heart. Violet- enchantment White ~eternal love, heavenly, humility, pink and white: × I love you and always will, rose- full blown: you are beautiful. Red and white: unity, together

Chapter Summary: The final installment to the 3 part finale chapters. Subaru and Kamui come from their blissful anniversary trip, refreshed and ready to acknowledge pains and worries. Their abilities, powers, connections, and fate…it's time to take a step towards making their future a little brighter. The night before Kamui receives an unexpected visitor to his dream, pushing him onwards. The Ceremony takes place for the beautiful and powerful young couple, an exchange of power connecting them- heart, body, and soul.

Thank you all for reading this so far and it means the world to me. So many feelings come up while writing this chapter. I adore the X and TB universe so much~ This is the final chapter to the main story finale- so final chapter but not a final upload as I will have (1?) more upload for an epilogue.

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Heavenly Soft

Heaven. That had to be this, right here and now. No matter what pain or darkness took over in life, the blinding, ethereal lights can and would shine through. Subaru experienced this first hand. Now, believing in miracles, the impossible, and a 'salvation' all his own. His precious angel, light, and hope in the darkness remain still so close.

'Kamui…' Subaru internally, breathes, fondness overwhelms. He has long since lost track of how many times this reflecting feeling took over. Honestly, he doubted he ever could…for this feeling, he knew himself enough to say…would last so long as his heart kept beating. And maybe…if his line of work taught him anything, far beyond just mortality. He looked back into deep violet orbs, breathtaking and taking him in completely. He could drown in this feeling, and never once dream of swimming back to the surface.

Subaru sighs, a little dreamily. Ignored, were a few files, folders of reports-some thank you messages from clients of the past few days. Subaru had foolishly brought it into their bedroom, at this time of night, knowing his precious person would have none of it.

Even if he never concerned himself with his own health, and proper sleep, his beloved cared more than enough for the both of them. This person, this precious soul who stole his heart when all seemed lost, proved to love him enough for the both of them. Kamui would hold this deep, omnipotent love for him, as Subaru learned to slowly love himself….bit by bit…He knew even if that day never came, if he could never love all of himself, Kamui would do so without question.

Pouting those perfectly plush lips, dazzling eyes fanned over by dark lashes. Even the way his lover crossed his arms made him go weak. All this beauty inside and out left Subaru breathless. Kamui's outward beauty served as the icing on top of his already mesmeric aura and tender heart.

"Subaru~" His angel breathed his name, in a manner, no matter how often it came…never failed to make his heart flutter. More insistently, Kamui pronounced, "Subaru, you need to rest."

The younger man was no less affected by this particular love spell. A spell only cast by one another and only effective upon each other.

Subaru dropped the papers onto the makeshift desk/table. He breathed out a soft, pleasant sigh. "I suppose you're right."

"I am right," Kamui teased, a comfortability built upon living together this long. The little curve of a smirk turning his lips set a spark inside the recipient male. He wanted to kiss that somewhat haughty curl of lips senseless. "With this at least…." Came a soft mumble, gentle and assured that the young man held nothing but affection in his words.

"Maybe, we should move out the desk…" He says, finding they likely spent more time in this room than necessary, save for not just including the obvious activities. They'd managed to make the corner of the room, a little study section. If a table, with a foldable chair slid under, could count as a proper desk that is.

"We don't necessarily need to do that much..." Kamui bit his lip at the suggestion. His eyes narrowed down to the bed, and then at the desk with unexpected heat. His gaze avoided Subaru's curious one purposely.

Subaru knew that look well enough. Realization clicked into place. He held a hand under his chin as though debating something. With a gentle little smile, voice more tender than teasing, "Although, this desk does have some beneficial uses."

"Yeah…" His angel responded with a deeper flush of rose-red. Still, unable to meet his gaze, but sounding pleased, Kamui confesses, "I prefer you using it…that way."

Subaru swallowed, throat feeling rather dry. 'Oh, Gods.' The way Kamui bit his bottom lip was really…driving Subaru crazy.

Kamui said they needed rest but…his actions were stirring far more than that. They both knew very well just how they could use the makeshift desk, (and every flat surface in their room for that matter) in a far more intimate manner. A brow rose above Subaru's heated eyes. Just when he thought he'd been seduced enough…his love proved him wrong.

"Subaru~" Kamui calls with a soft little purr. Enchanting, gorgeous violet-blue orbs light up, glossed, and glazed with an unbridled desire. The nail in the coffin struck, at the little gesture. His right arm stretched, reaching towards his precious person. His long elegant finger stretched out, curling in towards him, beckoning, telling him insistently, to 'come here'. Such a curl to his lips, that semi-shy smile paired with the sensual motion, left Subaru breathless and unable to do anything but comply.

Subaru gazes dreamily at Kamui stepping to the end of their bed before climbing on top. He crawled forward following his beckoning lover who continued to slide back, finger curling in, as he guided his lover back towards the pillows.

All too happily, Subaru took both of Kamui's hands, interlocking their fingers before pinning those smaller hands down. As though Kamui had any intentions of moving. His plush lips curved brilliantly, entirely victorious, he had his precious Subaru exactly where he wanted him.

Coming completely undone, Subaru leaned in, resting over Kamui's all too warm and accepting body. Legs spread invitingly for him to come closer, an action urging Subaru to kiss him harder and deeper than first intended.

"You're…so beautiful," Subaru whispers throughout, melding their lips together, completely loving Kamui up.

Time seemed to stop, just for them, this moment between. Clothes shed, hearts racing, lips melting and hands grasping everywhere, brought out a feeling of novelty as though it were their first time all over again. Such a feeling neither dreamed could be found in this lifetime, remained here.

The delicate, "I love you," Kamui breathed right before Subaru entered him, had been everything. From their tangled legs to bonded lips, they connected, Subaru now certain he had entered heaven.

---

Worries.

The time had finally come for Kamui to share his power with his beloved. Arriving in Kyoto early in the evening, Subaru and Kamui took to settling into their usual 'guest' home. Or as his friends liked to call it their "Kyoto Love Nest." Which given their track record… wasn't all that inaccurate but certainly wasn't something Kamui would ever admit to.

Only Subaru was allowed to see the softened, love-fueled side of Kamui. He nestled himself in their bed, lying on his stomach. His arms hug the pillow, watching his lover sit at a desk nearby, reading something or other about power transference.

The fated ceremony will take place tomorrow. Even if both the current and former Sumeragi heads agreed it should be a safe process, nerves took over.

Knowing they were taking all precautions was helpful…Having clan elders around to secure the area should powers go arrive would be a wise decision. Though Kamui liked to think he had control of his powers to not need any intervention.

'Subaru was able to offer his power to me just by clasping my hand…' Kamui recalls knowing his lover and his vast experience and training wasn't a fair comparison. Still, it did make him sense a little inadequacy. His lover was so weakened, in a highly limited time frame too, but managed.

When it came to Subaru, he could easily find a million things that made him amazing. Thinking of himself was another story. Being the world's savior never stuck with Kamui as something he should take pride in… not after all the losses that came to such a point.

Still, the chosen boy consoles himself, eyes closing. 'Under different circumstances…. Maybe Subaru would have lent me his power in the same way…' Perhaps this kind of ritual was just standard practice.

'But right now… what matters most is… ' Kamui gazes across the room, body warming at the sight of the person across from him. Plush lips curl up, seeing the older male, flipping through the pages, studying intently. Subaru's eyes follow along the lines of the book.

'You're just reading but…' Kamui knows he's too far gone, stomach doing somersaults. 'Even doing that… looks so… elegant.'

Kamui had been so certain he could help Subaru, feel better, safer with this power. He hadn't thought as much about the effects of doing so… how drained his lover might feel.

"What's wrong?" Subaru gently asks, closing the book and turning back to look deep within worried violet eyes. He closed the distance before Kamui could utter a syllable. A kiss lands on the crown of Kamui's head, tenderly a hand begins stroking his cheeks. "Kamui?"

The distraught young man reaches out longingly. Subaru smiles softly at the reaction and sits down on the bed beside his love.

This isn't quite enough, as Kamui sits up and wraps his arms around his lover's shoulders. With no coercion needed, Subaru lies back. His heart skips, feeling a very cuddly Kamui on him so instantly. Long arms and legs wrap around him and keep him in place.

'As though there's anywhere I'd rather be.' Subaru thinks fondly, nearly voicing it too. Yet, he senses something on his lover's mind and getting Kamui flustered made deter what needs to be said.

"Subaru… I… " Kamui calls out, tangled up between a collection of blankets and his boyfriend.

"Yes." Subaru patiently responds, slinking his arm around Kamui's side, tugging him even closer.

"About tomorrow um…" Kamui bites his lips, eyes shifting away. "A-Are you nervous?"

"No," Subaru ensures not missing a beat, not letting his lover worry further. Kisses press and pepper across Kamui's temples, and forehead. "I feel secure when I am with you." Tenderly, his lips linger on Kamui's cheeks. A hand curls under a slender chin, leaving flushed Kamui to look him in the eyes."And we are already compatible…" Subaru remembers, feeling a pleasant heat coiling inside.

Ever since that fateful battle, Kamui held a part of his powers inside… Subaru exchanged smaller parts of his power, to allow his lover to see and connect with spirits. To help seal some of Kamui's power when it went out of hand… they connected many times successfully. He couldn't help but hold faith tomorrow would have a similar outcome.

"That is true…" The younger man seems to be lost in more pleasant thoughts. A piece of hope shining within. "I just want to do this right… I know I don't have the experience you do… or control but…"

Kamui pauses, feeling their foreheads brush tenderly. Subaru closes his eyes in concentration. The younger male gasps feeling a small thread of energy emanating from Subaru entering inside him, calming him. Some kind of spell or… perhaps that was just how compatible they'd become.

"You don't need to worry over that," Subaru ensures, looking deep and intently into tender violet eyes. "My Grandmother even feels there's no harm to come from this and we have plenty of precautions to ensure things run smoothly."

"Maybe but…" Kamui bites on his lip, eyes wanting to turn away but feeling captive. The intensity in his lover's darkened eyes keeps them still. "There's a chance… if I mess this up… or aren't in control and what if I use too much power and it's enough to"

This time Subaru completely silences those trembling lips, caressing them with his own, until he feels them calming.

"It's a very rare chance… but even if those things happen, we will deal with them together. You won't be alone. I'm going to be right there with you… and I trust you, you've come a long way with your own powers…."

"It… still worries me… taking in my powers… can be draining right?"

"That's true. There will likely be some adjustment," Subaru admits, before moving his fingers to brush through his lover's soft blue-black locks. Soothingly he plays with the slightly messy hair. "But that's only temporary. It's not the same as being harmful or dangerous."

"I suppose so…" Kamui voices reluctantly. He closes his eyes softly, choosing to focus on the soothing brushes of fingers tangled up in his hair. "But I still… can't help but worry… if I use too much of my power without meaning to."

"Kamui, I can't promise you everything will be entirely perfect. But I can promise you we will find a way to work through everything together," Subaru seals this promise with a tender and languid kind of kiss that seemed to go on and on. Neither wanted to part anytime soon.

Eventually, there was time to breathe affectionate words- "You've grown a lot Kamui. So…Please try believing in yourself a little more."

"Okay…" Kamui professes, feeling a watering emotion by his eyelids, wanting to come to the surface. "I will try."

"And…" Subaru holds a glimpse of amusement in his eyes. It's overshadowed quickly by overwhelming fondness. "Will you take care of me while I get back to full strength?"

"Of course!" Kamui answers, eyes wide, brows furrowing, as doing anything else was ludicrous.

"Then I'll be looking forward to that…" Subaru's eyes cloud over, pupils dialing. He whispers into Kamui's ear, before blowing gently, making him shiver. "You, nursing me back to health, it's not such a bad thought.."

"Subaru!" Kamui complains, holding a hand to his ear, as though lessening the heat inside. This only makes his lover chuckle, smile growing even fonder and more taken with him. The younger man grumbles about needing a 'warning' next time.

"But of course… I will take care of you, for however long you need…" His earnest profession makes Subaru melt.

"Thank you…" Subaru connects their lips once more.

"I should be the one thanking you," Kamui proceeds, heart fluttering. "For everything."

A peaceful slip of silence follows, with only the sounds of soft breaths and lips brushing.

"Are you feeling any better?" Subaru arranges them to be more securely under the covers. He lies on his side, pulling Kamui in.

"Yeah, a bit… but I may need you to keep me really close to you tonight," Kamui says, legs tangling between his lover's.

"I think I can manage that." Tenderly their eyes meet.

"Goodnight, Subaru," Kamui murmurs, earning a sweet kiss, melting his words. "I mmmm- love you."

"I love you my angel, goodnight."

Angel… How Subaru managed to reclaim a word- involving the end of the world into a pure, and sweet pet name was a power on its own. Kamui couldn't deny that it made him happy, and melted him a little.

Maybe Kamui gave in to the urge to clutch his boyfriend extra tight that evening, refusing to let go.

'No matter what it takes… I'll keep you safe. We'll be together… '

---

~Dream~

Entering the dreamscape.

Beautifully, h violet eyes took in the unknown scenery. A mystical sea sparkles around the vastness. Yet with such purity, as though it were untouched by humanity, glistening a crystal blue.

Soft white clouds began reflecting a pastel version of the setting sun on the horizon. Beautiful skies transformed into a painting of orange, pink, and reds amongst the standard blue.

'This is a dream?' Kamui thinks, baffled but relieved how different the scene was from his nightmares.

'I'm not conscious… ' He at least doesn't remember falling asleep in his school uniform. 'But it feels different than normal.'

How could he put it into words? Something is familiar yet still… completely new.

Glancing down he sees only his reflection. His feet, taking an experimental step out. The same sparkling sea lies beneath,

Yet, nothing pulled him under as though an invisible floor yet effective enough for the waters to ripple with every step. Violet-blue eyes closed upon seeing their reflection below trying to concentrate.

"Are you the one?" Feminine, soft, and sweetly, the voice called out to him. Unfamiliar, he couldn't help but think of Subaru. There was just something there, a colorful figure in the distance.

"You are, aren't you?" She speaks with delight, relief, and restoring hope. Those emotions seemed to ride across the area, forming waves around them. The figure comes into place.

Even if not gifted with the same powers she could at least sense this much. This boy's powers stood out, holding the image of a rather golden halo, but around his whole body. A sense of sovereignty remained alongside a softer feeling, as a sense of compassion. At least that was the emotion picking up.

Those powers were significant on their own, but that's not what led the young woman to race in from the distance. His power was not alone, that was undeniably Subaru's energy, blending perfectly within. A symphony of powerful energies was taking place, dancing around each, connecting in perfect harmony.

"You…." The vision of the young woman finally comes into focus. While her soul held an air of experience, her heart.

The short black haircut going just below her neck bangs set in a way Kamui knew he'd seen somewhere.

Her soul's appearance looked no older than 16 and yet… it held the sense of weight and sorrow for one living many years longer. The vividly colorful clothes made her stand out against the scenery, a rainbow shining amongst this vast ocean.

Yet, what struck a final chord, came upon looking into those bright emerald green eyes. A matching pair which shined with an unmistakable aura of light, glossy as they slip with tears.

"Are you then-" Kamui halts, losing his breath, as he feels an overwhelming warmth. Arms begin wrapping around his shoulders, the feeling reminiscent of his late mother, his aunt… yet this was familiar for another matter. The young woman rests her head on top of Kamui's shoulder.

"You're…Kamui." She breathes out with a smile that grows vividly to reflect the sun. As though years of guilt were melting away with each little curve of her lips.

"How do you… know my name?" Kamui blinks in surprise. His body goes stiff at how one who's never met him before, embraces him so openly. "How did you even get here? Wherever this is…"

"You're the one he needed to protect, that special person to keep him going." Emotionally, she expresses, reflecting on and witnessing the final moments she could talk with her twin. 'The one to keep him living.'

The woman's head begins shaking, only blurring her vision further as the cloud of tears fogged up "Of course… I never stopped worrying… there was still so much I wanted to say to him but-I'm so happy he found you and now he can be…" She turns her head, revealing shivering emerald orbs, clouded from tears.

"You're talking about… Subaru?" Kamui feels certain who she is, having gazed into similar eyes, studying every little speck and shade of color, for far too long to keep track.

"Yes, and I'm sorry that probably isn't making sense," She shakes her head, pulling on a smile. Her hands clasp at Kamui's shoulders. "I know you… because I've felt your presence everywhere around him for some time now..." She pulls herself up, lifting her head and looking into compassionate violet eyes.

"I've been unable to communicate with anyone in the living realm… not normally anyway. But I've never stopped doing all I could to watch over Subaru, from time to time. And finally…I made it here."

"You're Subaru's twin sister?" Kamui briefly recalls, seeing a small glimpse of her in his lover's memories. Looking a little closer at her face, it becomes obvious she and Subaru were twins.

"That's right," She introduces herself happily, extending her hand. A Chesire-cat smile curves over her lips at the perplexion in the young man's face, blinking, abashed with hesitation. She opts for grasping Kamui's hand instead, "I'm Sumeragi Hokuto," She answers with glossy emerald orbs and a sense of pride. None, too subtly, she proclaims! "And you must be my brother's lover!"

"Eh!?" Kamui exclaims in surprise, blushing a thousand shades of red. He retracts his hand, taking a small step back, personal space being threatened again. Yet, the young woman closes in swiftly, arms closing over him, and into an enthusiastic hug.

"Oh my God, you're adorable." She chirps merrily, starry-eyed. "I can totally see how he fell so hard for you."

"I- That is...-"

"Oh!" She clapped her hands together, happily them to the side of her face.

"Wait! Weren't you saying something earlier that's more important and-" Truly Kamui had tried his best, but his beloved's twin proved to be quite insistent and boisterous.

"My gosh~" She expresses as though finally solving the puzzle. "Younger...shorter, more petite than Subaru was at your age does that mean-"

Kamui winces, having a bad feeling about this. The pause and giggle to follow feeling unsettling.

"Is Subaru now a 'top'?"

"He-Hey!" That's not something you can just-"

"So he is?! Oh my god, from that reaction he must be...at least the majority of the time. I haven't really thought of this scenario, he's always been so shy growing up. But, of course, it's possible now that I think on it actually-"

"W-w-wait there must have been more you wanted to know about besides this..." Kamui tries to sway their less than comforting conversation. He holds a hand in front of his face defensively. It really didn't help how much she was hitting the nail on the head either. He heard from his boyfriend just how embarrassing his sister could be, but he hadn't expected this much. " …but back to what you were saying...somehow you" He tries to change the mood of their exchange. However, the woman adoringly smothering him keeps the amused sparkle in her eyes. "You came into my dream?"

"Oh right~" She answers, in a sing-song voice, playing innocent. She releases the young man from her captive hold, giving him the chance to catch his breath. The cheery beaming smile stretches across her face. Her cheeks were rosy red and lifted with such joy. It was rather contagious. "I'm not normally able to do this, unless, I've passed on from interacting with the living world…and I imagined dreams might be the same, but I held out hope getting here."

"Um…but…I've heard from Subaru, that you weren't trained as an Onmyouji,' Kamui recalls, relieved to see the conversation shift to one less flustering. are you a dreamseer then?"

"Subaru really must love you to tell you that…talking freely with you…I'm glad…" Hokuto holds a hand to her chest, gaze holding relief.

"Mm-nn I'm not a dreamseer either," She shakes her head. She holds a finger to her lips, tapping it three times, then holding it out in exclamation. "But I'm very close to one. Or rather a former dream-seer."

Kamui finds that all too familiar. "Former…?"

"Well, he was finally given his wish to pass on, no longer bound to the world of dreams."

'Could it be?' The wording with that struck Kamui to the core. "If it's okay to ask…what is their name?"

"Kakyou." She returns with a sense of deep fondness. Her mouth gasps open with a dawning of realization. "That's right you must have met him several times during the…"

"Yeah, during the promise year," Kamui tries hard to hold back from wincing at the mention alone. "I've spoken with him. Although he was a Dragon of Earth I never felt threatened like with the others…he always seemed to help deep loneliness."

"That sounds like him…or rather how he had been. A lot has happened over the years. But in short, he's at peace now," Hokuto explains with a fleeting trace of sadness in her emerald eyes, followed up by one of a lighter hope. "But he hasn't been bound as a dreamseer for some time now…whenever I'd ask if he could try and reach you or my brother it never seemed to work…until now of course!~ It's like a wish come true!"

"A wish…" Kamui ponders over the word, the possibilities. 'Subaru had wanted for us to meet one day….and I've always wanted whatever could make him happy…' Could it be possible the desire alone gave the strength to allow for such a chance meeting? "I'm not sure if it's exactly like that…but Subaru speaks so highly of you, and has said he would like for me to meet you…"

She has to take a breath, at the words. Her brother's kindness and compassion never swayed, not when it came to his loved ones."Knowing, he sees me that way, after everything…means a lot. Although I'm not sure if I deserve praise…"

"What makes you say that?" Kamui tries to comprehend this, but every story from Subaru spoke of such happiness when it came to being with his sister. Kamui didn't believe his lover was a liar, either. So…

"There are lots of reasons," Hokuto shifts her previously sparkling eyes away, turning to vulnerability. Emerald orbs water, reflecting deep sadness, and agonizing shame. "I always wanted Subaru to have something he truly loved, that he wouldn't give up for anything. He can be selfless to a fault, ya know?"

"I am aware of that one…" Kamui fondly laughs at this, never doubting his lover's selflessness existed throughout all of his life.

"I…involved myself a lot with his personal life, always pushing him to be with that person…" She holds a sense of guilty and bittersweet emotions.

"You're meaning the former Sakurazukamori right?" Kamui can't help but grimace at the thought, his distaste for the man never fading. But he could emphasize…falling in love with someone who did such unforgivable acts. Harm brought to Subaru would be something he'd never accept, thankful the former Dragon of Earth could not cause his love more torment.

"Right. While I didn't know the extent of how dangerous my brother's first love would be, I knew there were risks…Such love was forbidden- but I couldn't let go of knowing this person was special, and could finally be the precious thing Subaru would not give up for anything." She shakes her head, eyes glossy as they finally look forward, such sorrow.

"But maybe, looking back, I was just being selfish… helping my brother was also helping myself…to feel happy I could be able he one to give Subaru back some of the kindness he extends to everyone but himself."

"I…I can't lie and say I was ever fond of his past love." Kamui admits, nose scrunching up at the thought. "But I understand your intentions of bringing them together…and I'm sure somehow or another those would have met on their own," he speaks softly, to assure his lover's twin. 'Fate seemed bound to do so…'

"I still can't help but feel I'm to blame. I've caused him tremendous pain," Hokuto's chipper tone turns to one of a tiring, deepened sorrow. She hangs her head low. "Even when trying to make things better, so the two people I cared for most…could live on. I ended up only making things worse."

"I don't think that you are to blame. A lot happened during that time. I know, Subaru doesn't see it that way."

"I still was the one to cast a spell t-"

"Reverse the fatal strike that would have otherwise ended Subaru's life, is that right?" Kamui fills in, carefully, gently, not wanting to give her any more stress finishing that statement.

Bright emerald eyes widened in slight surprise, before slowly coming to realization. "Subaru really does tell you everything doesn't he…"

"Ah…I like to think he does now…" Kamui abashedly scratches at his burning cheek. "I was there at the bridge for those final moments…so I heard and saw quite a bit at the scene…"

Those emerald orbs glossed over again, overcome with a painful tearing storm. Clearly, this young boy understood a unique pain in life, yet one similar to her brother's….someone who could reach Subaru in a way no other could. "I'm sorry, so young…and to have already seen so much tragedy."

"It's…not painless…but…" Kamui shakes his head. "Nothing hurts nearly as much as seeing Subaru so lost…heartbroken. So long as I can prevent Subaru from looking like that again… I'll be alright."

Such a deep feeling dawns on him. 'I may have been in love with Subaru for longer than I realize…'

Blissfully, the older Sumeragi twin expresses. "Subaru has never been one to open up to others…you must have truly stolen his heart completely."

Kamui knew his flushed cheeks were burning such a deep scarlet, fearing to be permanent. His heart could not help but speak out and cry whenever Subaru came up like this. He can deny this overwhelming love for nothing. So he assures a little breathless, "I-I've given Subaru my heart in turn."

"I know," Hokuto replies confidently, a whimsical light returning in her eyes. Cheekily, she returns her earlier green. "I can see it in your eyes~"

"I…but….still….back to what you were saying. You should know, that Subaru only sees you in a positive light. He cherishes you, as the 'Greatest older sister anyone could ask for'... but he's never once blamed you!"

"That sounds just like him…" Through the cat-like smiles, and cheery voice, tears begin to waterfall down her eyes.

"Thank you for that, Kamui~" Hokuto's voice gushes with such praise, and pulls Kamui into an all too tight hug. Catching glimpses off to the distance, the sea and surroundings dissolve away to an empty space. "Oh, it's time…" Her voice was laced with disappointment.

"What's happening?" Kamui follows her line of sight. Everything begging to vanish, the 'world' of his dreams, fading to oblivion.

"You're waking up now," Hokuto explains, a bit of longing in her voice, these visits always came too short. The likelihood of another meeting like this is slim to none. ``If you're able to, Please, Kamui, tell my brother, 'I love him,' and I'm so glad he's found his own path to happiness...with you."

It wasn't the first time she'd known Subaru to be in love. No, this was the first time knowing Subaru would finally be in love, and happy.

"I-I will," Kamui feels a slip of emotion escaping beneath his deep violet eyes.

"Thank you," Hokuto professes, tears streaming down. "For giving my brother…happiness…I know he can be reclusive at times, keeping to himself all his feelings…but please continue to love and care for him."

"Of course. I promise!" Kamui calls out, eyes wavering as the young woman's form begins to dissolve. "I'll always love him, and do whatever it takes to keep him happy."

"And make sure he does the same for you~ Though it seems nearly impossible, if you're feeling neglected, I'll find a way, into my hopeless little brother~"

There lies so much light, and hope, finally Hokuto could rest easier, knowing Subaru had found his own love and joy.

"I wish you and Subaru a life of happiness together. You two deserve it more than anyone I know."

"Hokuto…" Kamui whispers and feels slender hands holding him close.

"So go on, get married, make little onmyouji babies, or adopt a ton of puppies, whatever it is brings you the most happiness~~" Her words make Kamui's expression flare up beyond all reason, steam practically spewing from his ears.

"Ah, looks like it's time to go," She accepts, with a sense of. Looking directly into those shivering violet eyes, she smiles. "I love you, as well, Kamui. Just knowing how you saved Subaru from the dark…makes me sure of that!"

"Hokuto!" Kamui shouts, reaching his arm out, only for it to slip through into an empty space. Hokuto's spiritual form has dissolved into sparkle amongst the blank vastness. Every little drop, of the dreamscape, faded to dust until his violet-blue orbs begin to stir, fluttering open.

The first sight he sees is Subaru's sleepy face, lips slightly parted, and "Kamui…" He speaks so pleasantly from his dreams.

"I love you," Kamui coos to the unconscious Subaru."Good night, Subaru." He felt certain… he was on the right path. Needing to feel his lover, upon waking, here-entangles their legs together. His arms hug Subaru tightly. His head rests upon his love's chest, listening to the calm, fluttering heartbeat he swore to protect.

---

Ceremony

Much like Kamui had gone through to have his powers suppressed, a process was in order. A ritual that allowed Kamui to transfer his energy in turn, binding him and Subaru even tighter. Unbreakable.

Kamui walks through the beautiful estate, with a sense of fulfillment. He feels his beloved's presence not far.

Last night's dreams cape, that seemingly fateful meeting with Subaru's cherished sister.

'I can't bring up that dream yet… ' He thinks upon locking eyes with his love across the way.

There is already enough tension, and worry as is with the powers Subaru possessed the duality of yin and yang in his system. Kamui's powers and his strength are what he hopes would help his beloved heal, or feel more In control, more himself.

No, today wasn't the day for this. They needed to connect and feel as calm as possible, to breathe in sync.

The uncertainty of Subaru's emotional response, hearing of his late sister, not a chance he was willing to take today. But he knew he needed to, and would eventually.

Kamui's curious violet eyes dart around the temple garden with nerves. On the outside, it was the epitome of peace, water flowing, flowers blossoming, petals dancing in the soft wind.

Awaiting for the sun to set, which would only bring out more beauty to the scene. Although a fair amount of clan members circle around a designated, it feels intimate.

An Exchange of power… ceremony a permanent binding between two souls.

Several of the elders presented themselves formerly. Adorned on their head is a tall, angular black hat, seemingly embedded with magic, as it glowed with a sparkling silver frame.

Kamui sees Subaru's parents, tucked away in the corner talking to the previous Sumeragi leader. Much, like Subaru, his mother and father look up at the older woman with great reverence.

He manages to lock eyes with Subaru's mother who waves politely from afar, seeming to sense his at being caught, staring off, Kamui waves shyly back, awkwardly smiling.

Both his lover's parents return to talking, seemingly nervous. The former head displayed pure calmness, an eloquence brought by years of training. She mentions something (likely about the ritual) that visibly puts the parents at ease.

They may be showing up as a silent kind of support. His lover's parents must have greeted Subaru briefly, but for now, seemed content watching from afar. The relationship still was rather strained, in need of patching up, but as it progressed they were here now.

Kamui understands Subaru a bit, their mother aside from being older reflected Hokuto nearly identically.

Still, he knows his kind boyfriend, holds love for his parents and keeps a distance because of that. Simply having chosen to keep himself isolated, lest he loses someone else close to him.

'They're an elegant couple…and it seems like every bit of that elegance combined to make Subaru.' Kamui bites his lip at the gushing thought. 'Oh, God,'- he had it beyond bad at this point, but… it couldn't be helped. He and his Subaru were bound, and deeply in love.

Feeling a very intense gaze studying him up and down at every curve and angle. Kamui's eyes met with his favorite pair of shimmering gold and emerald orbs.

"Beautiful," Subaru praises, further admiring the sight of his beloved in ceremonial clothing. He looks his love over, circling around him as to inspect every detail.

Kamui stands, beautiful, yet a little flushed from his boyfriend's constant inspection of him.

Subaru can't deny himself this much, studying every millimeter of his favorite person, seeing him in ceremonial clothes for the very first time.

Kamui's body is covered in pure snow-white robes, with long hanging sleeves. To love-drawn eyes, they appear as angel's wings, especially when Kamui lifted his arms just so. The ensemble traces perfectly detailed light purple lining throughout. A matching lilac obi ties around the slender waist perfectly.

"I love how this brings out your eyes." Admiring fingers trace over the lining at the top.

Subaru clasps one of Kamui's hands, shamelessly pulling it up to his mouth. Fluttering, tender-heartedly, he continues to gaze deeper into violet eyes trying to remember every little shade of color and light they would emit.

Finished lingering, he presses his lips longingly upon the soft hand, peppering kisses all over. "You're honestly… angelic."

Kamui swallows younger male, certainly out of his element and surrounded by members of his beloved's family whom he wanted to maintain a good impression with.

Yet, it all remains undeniable his need for his amorous boyfriend's affections. Easing in, he felt no eyes upon them, none holding a spec of judgment if they were… the affectionate gestures remaining rather sweet and innocent.

"Thank you…" Kamui keeps his head down, flushed, but feels a sudden clasp under his chin.

With comprehension those deep violet orbs disappear behind soft lids, and dark lashes. He fully accepts the warm feeling of tender lips pressing to his own, simply content to stay in the moment.

Subaru does maintain their kisses to stay chaste pure, both having taken cleansing baths earlier that morning…and certainly not needing to become worked up, delaying the hard work set up for their ceremony.

Everything being so quiet, shows just how serious these things were being taken. Kamui can hear every skip and rhythmic beating from his heart.

"You look nice as well and…," Kamui pauses, biting his lips. 'Nice? That's it… ' He thinks, inwardly cringing at how lackluster his response had been. Feeling much more than words could say but far more. He follows up with a whisper. "You always look…wonderful." He attempts to turn his cheek, and gaze off to the side, but is quickly halted. His lover turns his face so they would be falling directly into the other's amorous gaze.

"Thank you," Subaru brightens, looking astoundingly pleased, euphoric even for the 'simpler' compliments. He feels the intent of those words and indulges in the softening tone of Kamui's voice. Gradually, deep fluttering lashes fall to a swift close. Both lovebirds lean in closer, on instinct, for one last lingering yet pure brush of lips.

Upon 'awakening' from the intimate moment, a sign of nerves quiver in violet-blue eyes. A certain concern doesn't waver from Kamui's mind.

"And… to be sure… we do know… this will be safe for you… right?" Kamui voices his true concern, dazzling eyes begin to shiver. His gaze is entirely swallowed up by caring, glistening gold and emerald orbs, boring into him. The intensity of the gaze feels as though the gifted Onmyouji were staring deep into his soul.

Subaru relaxes upon sensing distress, eyes tenderly brighten, still firm and serious but with enough lights dancing inside them, to ensure Kamui feels his certainty and love."You aren't concerned for yourself?" He responds tender, unhurried, and with such a whisper soft tone. Gently his right-hand glides its way across a tender cheek.

Kamui shakes his head, face burning with an obvious blush beneath the sun's rays. "I only feel safe when I'm with you." Beaming lips and violet eyes dazzle against the perfect backdrop of a setting sun.

Candles are lit, while magic circles and barriers are placed around the outdoor ceremonial floor.

"I'm glad then," Subaru breathed a long sigh of relief, partial laughter escaping as he realized how easily worried he became. "I'd never ask you to do something if it were to cause you harm."

"I know," Kamui reacts instantly. His calming smile displays perfect confidence and perfect trust. He reaches his caress, the one upon his cheek. "But you didn't answer my question," He can't help the cheeky tone, even if nerves were in place at the uncertainties.

"Right," Subaru tilts his head back, looking to the sky as though seeking a needed answer. "I'm not worried. We have many skilled Onmyouji here with experience in these rituals. Of course, my grandmother is here to assist and oversee everything is done with great precision and I-"

"Subaru? "Kamui calls wearily, senses the tension. His lover listed very valid points, but there was still a little trembling on his lips.

"I'm not worried for myself," Subaru said directly into his lover's eyes. Kamui returns the gaze and nods as though to accept the validity of it all. "It's more about you…"

"What?" But you even just said it would be safe," Kamui counters, lips pouting, arms moving, crossing under his chest.

"It's not disregarding that," Subaru cuts in quickly, not to stir even the tiniest seed of worry in his lover's mind. "It's not a worry about either of us being harmed… This kind of binding is not going to cause harm to you and at your power level… if anything there's the side effect of fatigue on my side… I'm certain there's no harm to you and yet… "

"Yet? " Kamui prompts, resting their foreheads together, building closeness.

"I can't help but Your power is sacred… you don't have to do something like this. I wouldn't want you to have any regrets…"

"I have none," Kamui can't help but immediately respond, closing in, their robes brushing together. He uncrosses his arms, needing to feel as close as possible. "Don't you believe me? He gently lifts both hands to caress all across the worried wrinkled face.

"I want more than anything to connect with you on… every level possible. I love being yours…" Both hands cradle Subaru's soft cheekbones. Eyes close to relish in the warmth such a gentle touch could bring. "Perhaps it's selfish but… I want to know you'll always have a part of me, my power inside… I want to make you mine in every way I am yours."

"But…" Subaru blushes a beautiful light pink, blending with the hues of the sunset above. Yet, Kamui sees it perfectly clear, an image he works to keep in his memory eternally. "This specific ceremony is the most efficient, but… it's incredibly intimate."

"Yeah, I know that much," Kamui blinks. Violet-blue eyes raise, as his shoulders lift in a manner to say 'what's wrong with that?'. "And that's why I am doing this only with you. The person I love."

"Of course, I want this too…" Subaru professes, holding an equal passion, and fueling desire burning in his eyes at being so perfectly bound.

"This kind of ritual is not exclusively but… has a history, traditionally being done for married couples who are to be bound for life in such a way. It's a very permanent exchange. So I just had to be certain…"

"O-oh!" Kamui's violet eyes raised high, heart stammered and he glanced over his shoulder. Thankfully, they were alone, far enough away from the other clan members to discuss."Well…we don't have an official status like that, yet, but we are certainly bound together for life and if I can help it, an eternity…so isn't that more than enough?"

Subaru's heart skips a half dozen beats, hearing that slip. He thanks whatever God or deities exist that he and Kamui had this conversation a proper distance away. He'd never live down losing this much composure, flushed, mouth ajar and eyes threatening to tear up from 'mere' words.

"Yes, it is… I do want this too with you," Subaru vows, implying his euphoria for both being bound spiritually and in a more matrimonial sense. Gently, he places one hand over the ones cradling his cheeks. Gingerly, their hands are lowered down, enough to press against his soft lips. "Everything."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Kamui's ethereal violet eyes shine with bright lights. His laughter falls quietly, a little shaky, nervous. As soon as gold and emerald orbs capture his gaze, he's certain this is right. "The ceremony is very intimate then… but that's fitting."

Subaru has no clue what to make of the constant attacks on his heart. Gold and emerald eyes widened, lips parting at the confident declaration.

"Fitting because…we're already intimate too," Kamui holds true to the words, blushing as they fall from his lips. A shy smile displays, while his lover's heart runs laps.

Subaru swallows, subconsciously licking his lips. He's mentally reciting every meditative mantra he can to keep his heart in check. "We are…" Agreeing wholeheartedly, he feels their world spin, only himself and Kamui remaining for a moment.

As naturally as breathing they lean into one another. Their lips pressed, soft, languid, and innocent. It has to stay that way-for right now-Very reluctantly, they part, keeping their touches and kisses as tame as possible. A part of this is reminiscent of the early stages of their relationship.

"We should head back then," Subaru explains, clasping Kamui's hand tightly, protective as they head down the slight hill and to the ritual ceremony.

Finally, approaching the circle. A ritualistic binding circle is drawn into the ground beneath. It was far from a normal marking, the circle and symbols inside were glowing a blinding white-gold light.

"Are you both ready?" Lady Sumeragi turns to them, to clarify.

Subaru and Kamui link their hands tightly, connecting once more before they take their places in the center. They exchange a look, a silent conversation. "Yes, grandmother, we are," Subaru answers for them both.

"Then let's begin," Lady Sumeragi announces. Near a dozen Onmyouji, both elders and young but clearly experienced gifted Onmyouji.

'Of course, none of them can hold a candle to my Onmyouji. ' Kamui regards this with pride, pursing his lips fondly.

With the former and current Sumeragi heads and the Kamui present, there was no shortage of psychic power to keep things running smoothly. The strongest of them all, held to the faith he could control his power for an exchange such as thing. He wouldn't let his power go out of control, not again, he learned from the best how to keep himself in control.

Lady Sumeragi begins with the rites, and the setting feels even more intimate.

"You two will need to be closer," She directs, looking towards them. Posture shows an intense and professional demeanor. Her manner of speaking, was serious and stoic, as this was part of the process. "Connected."

The former head was serious seeing this like any other ritual. But that didn't mean the current leader felt the same. This moment could not bring the same emotions from the two men in the center, this moment was far too special. Both Kamui and Subaru flush a tiny bit of pink, at the reminder. the feeling of stepping in closer towards one another.

Subaru feels reminiscent of his younger years, watching his grandmother taught him everything, step by step. He knew they would be close for this… but he hadn't expected to be called out so suddenly.

Lady Sumeragi directed the pair to continue moving in toward one another.

While they did this countless times, it felt different embracing everyone's focus and attention directly on them. Stopping only once their chests flush together, bodies connected, feeling one another.

Subaru calms himself with a breath. He feels a complete understanding of why this needed to be course, to exchange power of any kind, one needed connection, to touch.

The closer they remained, the better the power would only flood into one another, and not spiral out to their surroundings. With Kamui's level

"It's alright, Kamui," Subaru reads his lover's embarrassment and takes both of his hands. "Just look at me."

Kamui begins to see why this particular ceremony held such significance, nearly exclusively done by those who were already quite bound and committed. Fondly, he laces their fingers together, bound tightly.

Their interwoven hands press between their warm chests. Subaru rests their foreheads together, pressing their temples into a soft kiss.

"If it's easier, you can close your eyes," Subaru whispers, and suddenly his voice becomes all that matters here.

Kamui does just that, finding his sense of self, and connection deepening. All outside of them faded into the background. The synchronized chanting fades into a soft white noise. All that matters is the one he loves, holding his hands, whispering so sweetly.

Subaru's light breaths against his lips are felt clearly, soothing and bringing them towards that feeling of being one. Calming heartbeats reverberate in Kamui's being, they play a melody through Kamui's mind. His heart's pace calmed to match his lover's pace.

"Do you remember how you were able to take in some of my power, to see spirits? " Subaru whispers. They had looked up the process before, understanding came much easier hearing the words from Subaru's lips, guiding him quietly.

"Yes," Kamui recalls quietly. "Where I was opening the door in my mind to let your ki in… right?"

"Right…" Subaru concentrates, keeping his heart and soul wide open. "It's the same idea… Imagine your energy right now, flowing inside, and focus towards breaking up glowing light of ki into smaller particles."

"Okay, I can do that…" Kamui concentrates, tapping into the power inside. He visualizes the glowing energy at his core and divides it into smaller parts, easier to control.

"Good, when you feel comfortable doing that, I want you to focus, really visualize moving that portion power up through your body and out near the surface."

"Okay…" Kamui confirms visually that most, contain a small flow of energy all throughout his system and become ready to break out.

"Instead of releasing that power to the open, concentrate on letting that stream of power travel… search for the closest source of energy."

"I can feel yours…so… "

"You're doing very well. Now I want you to follow my energy and push towards exerting your ki outside yourself. Then when you feel the source of my ki, visualize entering inside, to meet with it."

"Moving it through a door' again…?" Kamui asks upon feeling the sensation of releasing part of his power.

"For you, mine always be open," Subaru answers with deep assurance, speaking directly from the heart.

This process reflects, using his powers, as an offense, but much more soothing, and controlled. "I can feel you…" Kamui lets his lips curl to an eased smile. Indeed, the 'door' inside Subaru's body, his heart, and his soul remained open making the transfer of energy smooth.

"I'm glad…" Subaru returns, voice going a little out of breath. The full process begins, having concentrated on accepting every ounce of power Kamui was willing to give.

As the exchange finalizes, a feeling. Golden rays of Kamui's ki surround the area, not causing harm of effect to anyone outside of the couple.

Now the Golden light forms a perfectly built 'dome' covering the ritual circle and blending with Subaru's own ki, and aura emitting a soft white.

As though made for one another the colorful blend of energy melds together perfectly. Creating a heavenly white-gold aura that leaves the surrounding Onmyouji in awe. A source seeking straight from the heavens.

Slowly the dome of light dissipates, the chanting in the background halts and the process completes.

"Subaru," Kamui calls the first thing after opening his eyes. "Thank you, your voice really h-, Subaru?!"

His lover returns with a weak smile, eyes barely opening before coming to a close. loses strength in his legs, and falls forward. Kamui immediately wraps his arms around him, holding him up, letting him lean, head nuzzles to the crook of his neck." Are you-?

"Subaru will be alright," Lady Sumeragi steps in to ensure, as she looks into slightly panicked violet orbs. "He merely needs rest, taking in power such as yours will take his body some time."

"I see," Kamui breathes an elongated sigh. "I'm glad then." He looks down lovingly towards his lover's face.

Subaru collapses into Kamui's arm, leaving his lover to carry his weight. It felt to be no problem, Subaru's body on him with reassuring warmth, heart still beating calm and soothed. He feels a sigh of relief hearing his lover's soft little breaths upon his neck. 'You're sleeping.'

"I'll take him back to our room then." Feeling enough relief, Kamui excuses them both. He shows gratitude and bids farewell to all the clan members involved before disappearing from the area and towards their home.

Placing Subaru gently on their bed, he breathes with relief.

"Sleep well, " Kamui whispers, holding tightly to his precious person's hand.

---

Caring

Hours. For hours and hours, Kamui waited pensively. His nerves grew with each passing minute. Kamui busied himself, staying within that room for over an hour, not wanting Subaru to be out of sight in case he needed something.

'I want the first thing you see to be me…' Kamui reflects on his feelings, his brain processing them as being 'selfish', but he can't help the feeling.

To keep himself out of his head, he opted for something to occupy his weary mind. Kneeling towards the corner, he opens up one of their suitcases and pulls out a series of textbooks.

'I might as well, get a head start,' he thinks, for the upcoming absences from CLAMP school, would lead to homework piling up.

Luckily, he had Keiichi and Yuzuriha gather up a list of reading assignments, and writing work they were given during the day. Keiichi was in nearly all of his classes, being the same grade. Yuzuriha more so gave information, writing about activities for their shared culinary elective classes. While only mildly interested at first, Kamui came to love and appreciate the skills he built up over the semester, and thus continued to the next level.

For the classes he didn't share with his friends, he was able to talk with his teachers, who were nothing but understanding.

Kamui reflects, 'If only I had teachers like them in middle school.' Ones who saw him for his strengths and not weaknesses. If only someone had listened and tried to understand his reasons for acting out when he was still young enough to listen.

He made for an easy target, for unhinged students, being fatherless, and constantly moving with little to no notice. Faculty, deemed it best to let students work things out amongst themselves.

When Kamui got older, tired of putting up with things, he responded. When taking things physically, even if not instigated himself, those same teachers held no issue giving punishments. Now being labeled the 'school delinquent', he couldn't go back. The shy, kindly bookworm, had long been buried away.

Kamui shrugs then and shakes his head. That was his past. He knew he was no 'angel', the older he got the more reckless, and unwilling to any type of authority. Even if they tried, he doubted it would change him. But no one ever did.

He…honestly needed someone extraordinary to change him after being lost for so long. He needed Subaru to change…and to realize he needed change for his own sake.

'Now though…it's so different.' The genuine support, compassion, and time teachers put into listening to every student's need was like nothing else he'd felt. Truly, CLAMP school set the bar high for future educators, and hopefully, more schools could follow their lead.

Who could picture someone being in power, with such wealth, but having a heart of gold? Kamui never believed such a thing was possible. But, the Imonoyama heir became that exception. He used his resources for helping countless others, on and off campus. He had a generous heart, allowing all the 'Dragons of Heaven' to stay completely free.

Nokoru Imonoyama held favor towards him, not just for being 'The Kamui' but simply for being Shirou Kamui. Much like his teachers, he found taking off a few days an easy endeavor. Part of this 'trip' to Kyoto fell over Spring Break anyway. Nokoru heard of the trip to Kyoto and beamed at the idea.

"Perhaps you two will be going for a ceremony?"

"Ahh! Wh-what?"

Kamui wasn't sure if the Imonoyama heir understood quite what he was doing. His resources did seem endless. But…perhaps he was teasing them, thinking of them doing a more…romantic ceremony. Which ended up not being entirely wrong.

"Take care of yourself, both you and Sumeragi," Nokoru held a hand lightly on Kamui's arm, patting it lightly. There was a seriousness dampening those sky-blue eyes, expressing he may have known more than he let on.

Kamui found gratitude and relief, he could take his time in Kyoto, and not worry about other matters.

This was a good chance to study, while his lover rests. And he could remain close to Subaru's side. After all, when Subaru was awake, he didn't think he would focus on anything else for quite some time, needing to make sure everything was truly okay.

Studying with Subaru so close…was tricky in that way. Of course, his boyfriend made for a wonderful tutor. Kamui couldn't say the same about his abilities as a student, often distracting his 'tutor' with less-than-educational activities.

Fondness slips through in the form of light laughter. Kamui begins, lying the textbook open in his lap. He flipped through the pages with one hand. His left hand grasped tightly for his boyfriend's, always wanting to be connected, as Subaru rests.

"Please, just wake up soon…" Kamui whispers tenderly, holding to this hope. Silence on it hadn't bothered him, but total silence when they were this close, gave a lonely feeling. "I need you."

Ensuring things were alright, he laid his head down, resting an ear to Subaru's chest, hearing a steady and soothing heartbeat. The regular rising of his chest and stomach gave Kamui assurance. His lover always kept, still so very warm.

The young student sifted through the textbook, letting it rest on the blank spot of the bed. Getting more into the rhythm of things, he went back to his bag to pull out a notebook and pencil, filling out the assigned review questions at the end of the chapter. He had been making good progress, nearly ready to move towards the next class's work when-

"Kamui…" Subaru murmurs, tender, loving, and with. His lips even curled to a smile.

Kamui jolted up in his seat, dropping his pencil, and nearly knocking the books off the bed as well. His heart soared, feeling elation. "Subaru~" While they couldn't talk just yet, they kept connected.

'Even in your sleep…you're thinking of me…' Kamui bowed his head, pressing soft kisses over his lover's forehead. 'I think I might be a little jealous of my dream self.' He thinks with a snort. Violet-blue eyes follow the curl of his lover's lips, clearly enjoying whatever was happening in his dream. Patiently, he readjusts himself, picks up his pencil, and sets up his 'homework space' again.

Of course, for the most part, he would have to work single-handedly. His left hand belonged to his sleeping lover, for as long as needed. Clasping tightly he entangled his fingers with Subaru's left hand, squeezing it tight."I'm right here for you."

Sunlight brushing in through the room highlights a shimmer on both of their fingers. The matching pair of silver rings seemed to host a heavenly glow, physical proof of just how far they had come. Kamui can't help but melt, their rings shining so perfect side by side. He can't help but steal a glance now and then between assignments, the sight itself rewarding.

Several more hours passed on, to the point where Kamui lost count. Having an inkling, that he would have the time, Kamui took a break from his studies. He lifted his lover's hand to his lips, kissing right over the ring finger.

"I'll be back," Kamui promises, holding hope his beloved wouldn't wake until he returned.

It only became more frustrating to look at the clock and think of how long it's been. The young man busied himself around the house.

'He'll need to build up his strength again when he's awake.' Already entering into the afternoon, he devises to prepare a meal, listening closely for any signs his 'sleeping beauty' may be stirring.

They had made the right call to stock up on some basic food ingredients for their home before everything began. He starts, ringing out a large and medium cooking pan up to the stovetop. Gathering olive oil and a colorful assortment of vegetables, he begins the process. Turning on the heat, a fire lits under the pan, as the oil and vegetables are gradually added within.

Kamui does his best to make up a variety of Subaru's favorites, without taking too much time away. He quickly picked up a wide pot and filled it up with water. Going to a boil, a traditional brand of brown rice cooks.

When finishing up the stir-fried vegetables, Kamui placed a second pan on the stovetop. Collecting a few sweet berries, and eggs he makes an assortment of sweet omelets. For added protein, he stir-fries blocks of tofu into the mix. Leftover eggs are cooked to make a delectable stir-fry.

In the end, he's greeted with a beautiful display. With a whole table spread with food, he realizes he may have been going overboard. Kamui wanted to be prepared and kept going with it.

'I think we'll be having leftovers…' He thinks, a little flushed over how easily he got into this. 'At least it helped keep me occupied…'

His worrying thoughts on those 'what ifs' and time spent in that quiet room, did become tiring. Through it all, he kept quiet, never hearing any noise from the bedroom, checking in periodically. Still, having been some time now, since he finished the food, and clean up, he decides another check-in is in order.

Kamui waltzes over to their shared bedroom, but only sees his lover lying prone, not having moved an inch from the spot. He's greeted with silence, aside from the tiniest little breaths as his lover exhaled.

Leaning over, the younger man cradles Subaru's cheek, hoping to see a shine of gold and emerald but those eyes are covered up behind still eyelids. His hand brushes all along the slumbering face.

He witnesses his 'sleeping beauty', breathing in, so at peace. Tender light puffs of breath, a little curve rising Subaru's lips, make Kamui's heart squeeze.

"You seem so peaceful…although you are a little warm." Kamui figures it's better to be safe than sorry. He plants a kiss on his lover's cheek, before exiting the room. "I'll be right back."

Kamui leaves that promise. Taking a bathroom washcloth, he douses it under the cool sink water and wrings it out steadily to keep from the constant dripping. Turning around the corner, and back down the hall, he returns to their room.

"Kamui…" He hears his name once more. While the notion brings some comfort, he's grown to find a difference in the tone and softening volume when Subaru calls from his dream.

"Yes, it's me again," Kamui laughs to himself and brushes their foreheads together. There's a slight heat, which isn't the most pleasant, but not quite enough to be feverish. He places a kiss in the center, before draping the towel over his lover's temples. "This should help."

If it were to get worse, he could call Subaru's grandmother, parents, or most other clan members, if they were available to get medicines or healing herbs. The Sumeragi family surely had their secrets and methods to heal that went beyond modern medicine. It seemed likely everyone in the clan would be happy to help their esteemed clan leader.

"I should probably put away some of our food now…" Kamui voices his thoughts, feeling a little less lonely that way. He reluctantly turns on his heel, moving yet lingers at the threshold. While glancing back once more, hoping to see eyelids start to part. No such luck.

"It'll be alright…" Kamui tells himself over and over again. "He just needs more rest." This was temporary, even if minutes felt like hours, and hours seemed like days. The worried young man swiftly works in the kitchen, placing the food into Tupperware, and putting them in the fridge to stay fresh. He didn't know how long it would be until his beloved woke up after all.

Working on thinking optimistically, he sparks an idea. Leaning up on his tiptoes he grasps for a set of mugs, from the upper shelves, ones left from their last trip over. This had essentially become a second residence.

Kamui knows not to keep his hopes up, yet every time he comes back into that room, he looks for even the tiniest sign of awakening. With a tiring sigh, he hangs his head low, shoulders slumping down as he goes over to take out a few more printed assignments and school books.

"Ah, not yet…huh?" He returns to his routine, placing the books down, opening, and holding Subaru's hand with at least one of his own. Seeing, no movement. His shoulders fall again, letting out a saddened exhale. He turns the page, eyes trailing from right to left, occasionally jotting down a 'keyword' or some notes.

Clearing the silence, he decided upon taking breaks, turning on the radio. On occasion, he found himself calling Subaru's grandmother, who also gave him the number of Subaru's parents. Something…he figured he should have gotten long ago, but never felt the time was right to ask. His friends called up to check on things, seeming to know Kamui could use the distraction.

Yuzuriha told expansive stories about their cat, she kindly was a pet sitting for them. He could hear loud purring and 'meows' through the telephone.

"Thank you for taking care of her, and on short notice…" Kamui expresses, imagining the little furball, curled up on the pillows above his and Subaru's heads.

'Maybe we should have brought her this time…' He wonders.

It had been done before for longer stays here, but it was unclear, and how much they would need to bring from home. The drive over, with tension for the ceremony, was one thing, and adding a stir-crazy cat to that was another matter…but their mischievous feline getting into trouble, and not letting Subaru rest would be problematic.

"No problem~ She's the sweetest!~ I love spending time with her," Yuzuriha's voice radiates pure joy, sounds in a high-pitched tone calling out 'Hana', their spoiled feline. Evident spreads of her affectionate nature toward people and animals. "But I'm sure she'll be happiest to see her Papas back."

Kamui rolls his eyes, a light in them showing with a light affection, and shakes his head. The comment was ridiculous, and very very Yuzuriha, but it didn't prevent the curve from rising on his lips.

His friend's voices lightened the mood in the room, adding to the feeling of hope. Yet, no one else but Subaru could make him feel complete again.

"Please, wake up soon," Kamui pleads, quietly. He grasps Subaru's hands between his own, holding them before his face, in a prayer-like fashion. He closes his eyes, hoping…concentrating on the warmth of their touch even as Subaru slept.

Another hour must have passed by, Kamui finishing the bulk of his reading assignments, and his mind needed a break. 'I'll probably sleep soon…' He thinks, seeing the sun had gone down for some time. Between his studies and caring for his beloved, he'd grown weary. 'I hope he wakes me up when he gets up….' Soft violet-blue eyes closed. Kamui decided to resign to retire for the night.

Closing the paperback, he breathes out slowly. Resting his eyes, only to have them raise open widely, at the slight feeling from his own. Quickly, Kamui drops the book to the floor, hands dedicated to holding Subaru's hand snuggly within his own, bringing it up to his beating heart.

Flashes of gold and green shine through the younger man's line of vision. He feels his heart bursting with a sense of domestic bliss.

Tenderly, lips part, breathing out the first and most important word in their vocabulary. "Ka…Kamui?"

"You're awake!" Kamui exclaimed, wide and glossy-eyed at this enrapturing feeling.

Subaru hums to confirm the feeling, squeezing back at the warmth surrounding his hands. "You've been holding my hand." The tone and manner had been so delicate, intimate, and whisper-soft.

"Mhm," Kamui pursed his lips together, not trusting himself to say something nonsensical or embarrassing. Flooding emotions, threaten below violet orbs. He would have meant to keep calm, to be content to simply sit at his bedside, holding hands. But that calm and collected period had passed hours ago.

"Ka—ah!" Subaru loses his breath, upon feeling arms sling around his neck. Teary violet orbs enter his vision, before feeling an emotional and (understandably) needy Kamui pounce on him. He hadn't a chance to do so much as lift his head before feeling his lover lying partly on top of him, their legs tangled messily.

Kamui hides his eyes beside his lover's neck. Floodgates open, as warm emotions drip down. "Subaru…" He breathes into his beloved's neck. "I-I…" He murmurs, not able to look up, feeling childish, but unable to let go.

"Was I out long?" Subaru wonders, holding a comforting hand to the back of Kamui's head and back. He pets the raven hair on his lover's crown, in a soothing manner. Glancing up and towards the side, he can see the midnight-blue sky and stars. It seemed far too late for them to enter the evening. Had he really slept into the next day?

"Oh, my- Kamui I'm so sorry I-" He attempts to sit up from the bed, taking a better look, but feels his strength leaving him. Powers of all kinds were still melding. The flowing blend of power shot a tiny surge into his core, not painful but certainly not done working through his body to find balance.

"W-w-wait, don't move… so much…" Kamui wipes at his eyes, rolling off and to the side of his lover, giving him space to breathe. He kneels on the bed, overlooking, brushing stray strands of hair behind Subaru's ear. Turning bright pink, and lowering his head he apologizes, "S-sorry…I just…missed you."

Subaru's smile melts, seeing violet-blue puppy eyes, looking at him with such worry. If he had full strength, he would have lifted Kamui back to him. Instead, he settles upon brushing the back of his hand to Kamui's cheeks. "You don't need to be sorry, I'm doing alright. I'm the one who needs to apologize,

"No, it's alright now…you're back…" Kamui asks tenderly, leaning into the touch. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm-" Subaru pauses to voice the sensation. His current powers of light and darkness, both yin and yang were often at odds, control taking a great deal of will. There was a feeling of change. This overwhelming new power entered, seizing to control and balance the opposing powers inside. Getting his body to handle all of this energy, seemed to take its time. "I'm alright…It's not like anything is hurting…it's more like being entirely... full? Spiritually I mean…"

"Is that…bad?" Kamui hesitates, rolling to his side. He cuddles close to his beloved's prone form, practically purring as he feels the hand up his cheek, rising to wrap around his shoulders.

"Not at all, your power is rather intense, incredible…honestly like nothing else I've ever felt." Subaru pulls Kamui into his embrace, wanting to add on more, but settling with a weak, tired kiss on his beloved's head. "It's a good feeling."

Kamui reddens hard at the statements and follows up with a kiss. He lost count on how many times he'd been told of his great power, and brushed it off for the most part. As Subaru said those words, however, he felt his chest ache, completely adored.

"My powers before now have been polar opposites, always seeming to be at odds, like they were competing for me to be used over the other…." Subaru explains with visible signs of tiredness.

"That sounds exhausting," Kamui nuzzles his head below his beloved's shoulder.

"It could be at times…" Subaru admits, especially when he'd let his emotions get the better of him. "Your power is…amazing. It's not bound more towards the light or darkness, it simply is… maintaining a rather perfect balance."

Kamui nods at this, feeling a little shiver go through. An image surfaces of those dreams, himself possessing both the wings of an angel and devil, connected as a pair. Perhaps, that too played in the role of being the 'true Kamui'.

Subaru senses some distress and decides to move things along. "You know, It might take a little time before things balance out…to be at full strength again, but I believe things are progressing well."

"So you'll be alright?" Kamui's eyes shiver anxiously. Subaru motions for Kamui to come closer, before leaning up with his remaining strength and

"I will be, especially with you caring for me," He draws on sleepily, yawning. Kamui reddens biting his lip. "I will probably need to rest again soon."

"Okay…I figured as much…" Kamui fails to hide his disappointment. Still, this time, he was in a similar state. "It won't disrupt your sleep if I sleep here too right?"

"Kamui…of course that's more than alright," Subaru breathes, eyes wide, yet quivering, at the thought he'd deny him. It wasn't as though he were suffering injuries either. "I wouldn't want it any other way…if anything you being near, helps me sleep better."

"I"m glad then," Kamui murmurs, cuddling up, spending the last few moments looking into his lover's weary eyes. "I didn't want to move," This time he feels comfortable in the hand steadily curling around his shoulders.

"Good night, my Kamui," Subaru murmurs, eyes blinking, wishing to close again. "Love you…"

"Good night Subaru," Kamui professes, leaning up and over to steal a sweet goodnight kiss. Allowing Kamui to catch some breath, tangled up in and feeling connected. "I love you…so sleep well, and next time stay awake with me a little more?"

Hope floods through his senses at the idea that they were connected. He hears Subaru calling his name, from his sleep or not was hard to tell. A feeling of belonging sweeps over, letting the weary young savior finally rest peacefully.

---

Rest Time

Days followed up, as Kamui waited pensively for his drained lover to be able to sit up for more than an hour or two. At the least, he hoped to see his boyfriend be up on his feet for more than 15 minutes, without his body needing rest.

But today was much better than yesterday, and the day before that. He could talk with Subaru. His sweet-hearted lover even offered him help with Kamui's homework, when he was up for it.

Now, Kamui could smile, catching the sight of beautiful gem-colored eyes stirring awake, revealing behind sleepy eyelids.

"Kamui…" Subaru calls his name, as he did most every time he woke.

"I'm here…" Kamu clutches tighter to his hand. He couldn't deny hearing that first thing gave him a feeling of being 'special'. Even while his beloved had been so weakened, tired, he spoke so sweetly and held his hand tenderly.

It all came about so loving and intimate. Subaru's genuine thoughts and feelings towards Kamui were what fueled all those embarrassing words after all.

Visitors came by for an occasional moment. Subaru's parents made the effort to come in, bringing in oven-ready meals for the pair, filled with superfoods to boost the healing process.

'His body has taken in a lot of power. You hold a strength unlike any other I've seen before. It may take him a while until he's fully recuperated.' Lady Sumeragi's words came across Kamui's mind, in comfort this kind of rest period was to be expected.

Kamui figured there may be some adjustment period but it didn't make experiencing this any less lonesome. He was fortunate to be visited and cared for by his lover's family. A foreign yet comforting feeling, with his only close relatives being obsolete.

While reluctant, by the third day, He allowed himself a little break to go for a brief walk outside. Subaru's grandmother offered to stay by her grandson's side while he was resting. While he couldn't quite get used to leaving Subaru's side for long, he knew he needed the change of scenery.

"You should go out and at least get some fresh air." Subaru's mother offers later the next day.

She exchanged pleasantries with them both. The woman engaged in small talk sitting at Subaru's bedside while Kamui busied himself around the home.

Curiosity never failed to take over, he'd occasionally stop by the door listening in. The topics ranged from basic Onmyouji tasks they attended to as well as the weather, and spring festivities in Kyoto. Neither seemed to want to push the conversation past lighthearted topics. The scene is a bit awkward yet heartwarming. Progress.

"Alright…. Maybe for a few minutes…" Kamui sees their point. Subaru still needed sleep. "Thank you…"

Kamui envisions Hokuto when looking at the twins' mother. An older Hokuto with long green-black hair and with less colorful ensembles. The resemblance is uncanny, their voices even holding an effortlessly nurturing tone when speaking seriously. In that manner, she reminded him a lot of Subaru. Which probably led to him feeling comfortable having her watch over his beloved for a little while. Subaru's father as well held a quiet, tender kindness, although proving to be a bit more reserved.

Of course, he never could stop worrying about his boyfriend. Even as he walked, every sound and sight of nature made him think of Subaru. Simple things like baby birds chirping from their nests, or a cool breeze rustling leaves above… all made him think about how more enchanting it would be experiencing all these little moments beside his favorite person.

His feet guided him back to the home, without thinking about it, he was already at the front door. Before he can return to his beloved bedside he hears a soft conversation.

'Subaru is talking more with his mother now… that's good.' Kamui feels relieved when he hears their little by the doorway he overhears just what they were discussing.

"He's special to you, I'm glad." Subaru's mother spoke with a kindly tone. You could hear the smile in her voice, assuring everything would be alright.

"Kamui always has been special, even more than special… he's beyond words," Subaru professes, utterly hopeless, lost in his own devotion.

Kamui feels his cheeks burning up at the gushing words. So openly…

"I can see that," She laughs softly, holding a hand to her son's shoulder. Subaru's pinkened cheeks gave Kamui relief he wasn't alone. "There's no time limit nor rush… but you should know, your father and I already consider him family."

"Ah…" Subaru scratches the side of his flushed cheek. "Thank you… it's a nice thought in the future… so long as it's something Kamui would want as well…"

'Does he seriously believe I wouldn't want the same?' Kamui can't help but think in surprise. 'Well…it hasn't felt like 'the time,' to discuss that sort of thing…' But still, he assumed Subaru would take his devotion, being with him forever to mean he would happily take in each stage of their relationship.

"What!?" Kamui squeaks, clutching hard to the doorframe. Two pairs of curious eyes fall over him. He flushes a deeper shade of pink, eyes going wide.

"Come in, Kamui" Subaru looks more than a little amused catching his boyfriend eavesdropping.

"Okay…" The younger man pouts, hating his mind for seeing the teasing, coy smile as being attractive. He steps into the room, taking

"I'll give you two your privacy," Subaru's mother excuses herself, with a knowing glance between the two. Just, let me know if either of you needs anything.

"Oh, yes… thank you!" Kamui proceeds a little bit flustered. He bows his head politely. "I appreciate all the help you've given."

She shakes her head and turns with humble eyes and a tiny smile. "It's the least I could do to help. I'm sure Subaru's father as well would be happy to come by whenever you need help. He's been busy with jobs, but has been eager to assist me with making meals as you recover."

Subaru adverts his eyes a little, feeling flustered, being doted on, in front of his boyfriend.

Subaru's mother doesn't stop her generosity there. "You take care as well, Kamui," she places a tender hand on his arm. "If you need anything we are just one call away."

"Thank you. Ah... Mrs… Sumeragi?" Kamui bows his head politely.

"It's my pleasure." The woman laughs at the light-hearted breaths of air reminiscent of Hokuto. She debates before leaving out the 'You can consider me, as you would family… ' Not one to overstep, she exited with a soft smile and bow of her head.

Kamui walks her towards the door, seeing her off. Turning on his heel, he heads back into the room, to his beloved's bedside.

Violet-blue eyes flutter, lighting up to see his boyfriend was still awake and sitting up in bed. The gentle notion of Subaru patting the space beside him gave him butterflies. He missed this. All those little moments.

Kamui rushes over and plops onto the bed, crawling over towards his lover's side. He wraps both arms around his beloved's shoulders, resting his head right beside one. Ensuring they were further connected, he tangled his legs around and within his lover's.

"Did you have a nice walk?" Subaru asks, tender eyes glowing as he loops his arm around Kamui's shoulders, pulling him closer.

Kamui blinks, mind having cast off the event in favor of the conversation earlier. More so, he worries about Subaru being uncertain his beloved would want the same things in their life.

'How can you think I wouldn't want to marry you, one day… ?' Kamui ponders, blooming with a light cherry hue all over his cheekbones. He ducks his head hiding his face in his curious lover's neck.

To his boyfriend's credit, it's true that they hadn't really talked about marriage, not in-depth anyway. Kamui assumed they would do so when the time felt right, and that Subaru would already know the answer given, if and when he wanted to propose (and maybe vice-versa).

It's not as though Kamui didn't want to… just he felt so happy already being Subaru's boyfriend, and figured things would develop naturally.

Of course, they would have limitations in the future…being the same sex, but surely they'd figure it out. Then there was the age gap… which honestly, hadn't come up as a problem for him. They were happy together. But…it's true Subaru at an age where marrying could be expected, maybe with even more pressure holding a rather elite status. However, those same expectations didn't apply to Kamui still being in high school, and thus under 20.

Maybe to others, it seems he'd be too young to know if he's found his precious person yet… Kamui had a fate that made him grow up fast, and makes painful life-altering decisions before he could finish HighSchool….

But…. His choosing to spend the rest of his life with the person he loved so deeply… didn't require a second thought. Kamui's lips curl up fondly.

"What's on your mind?" Subaru calls to him, eyes lifted and curious petting the top of his head.

"I… ah…" Kamui licks his lips. He slides a hand down his lover's chest. His palm stops over the soothing little heartbeats. "Was thinking…" Licking his lips unconsciously, "Of you…"

"Oh? I'm hoping, good things then," Subaru lightly teases. His hand clasps, palm pressing in on Kamui's shoulder as Subaru tucks him in further underneath the blankets.

"Of course," Kamui kisses the tip of his nose, stomach doing somersaults at the little sulky expression forming over neglected lips.

"I love you, Subaru. And I'm always yours…." Kamui leans up to gaze into glossy caring eyes. "So please, don't forget that…" this time around he kisses those lingering lips.

"Alright…" Subaru returns with a smile. Not certain exactly what the reminder was given for but… the sentiment was altogether heartwarming. "And I'm yours, always Kamui."

This time Subaru slips a hand through Kamui's hair pausing at the back of the head. He pulls him in closer, and their lips meet again, and again… sweet yet careful not to start something that couldn't be finished.

Subaru could feel fatigued draining him, he knew his limits. Still, he could at least ask for this much. "Would you like to go to the couch and watch TV?"

"I'd love to," Kamui returns immediately, with glistening eyes. Soft couple-time was certainly overdue. Yet, worry seeps in, violet orbs narrow slightly in a second. "But are you up for that? To get up and…."

"It'll be fine." Subaru is already sliding his legs off of the mattress and rising to his feet.

"At least, let me help you… don't push yourself okay." Kamui asks sweetly and rushes to his beloved's side. He wraps his lover's arm around his shoulders, holding him up as they walk the short distance over to the couch.

Subaru is seated first, at the insistence of his stubborn lover. He stretched out upon the sofa, lying on his back, head resting against a throw pillow.

"I'll be right back," Kamui disappears into the hall closet and unfolds a cozy blanket. He takes his all so rightful place upon his loved ones, carefully of course. He's lying between his lover's legs, resting so they're chest to chest.

Subaru's protective arms wrap around his lover's thin waist, flushing them together. It's peaceful, Kamui is surprised to see his lover lying awake for a good portion of the movie.

"This feels nice," Kamui comments, nuzzling his head in his lover's neck. He glances up to see beautiful gold and green eyes shut, and soft breaths escaping. The smaller male shakes his head, brushing the hair out of Subaru's face fondly.

"Sweet Dreams, my love," Kamui purrs, words coming easier knowing his beloved probably couldn't hear them. He smiles before cuddling up to his boyfriend to take a little nap. A bit too early to sleep, but he preferred being in the world of dreams alongside his sleeping beauty as to be awake and in silence.

Even what Kamui perceived to be a 'small' part of his energy, held this much of an impact. Subaru slept soundly, to the point where Kamui deemed it best to carry his boyfriend up the stairs.

'Today was nice…' Kamui thinks about this, and their little 'at home' date night brings fond emotions even if short-lived. He had been able to get out for some fresh air and see his boyfriend's family more felt… reassuring. As though a longing feeling long suppressed could come up, and heal.

There were many things he felt. But true loneliness hadn't been one. Seeing the way his lover had fallen asleep carrying him bridal style seemed most efficient.

Kamui had been on the receiving end of this more times than he could admit to himself…and maybe it had grown on him… more and more so long as they were alone.

There was continued progress…the next day consisted of prepping meals for the day and seeing both Subaru's father and mother come by.

"May we come in?" Subaru's mother always asked with uncertainty shaking in her eyes.

There was always a hesitation, as though they didn't deserve the right to see their only living child. Kamui sensed his boyfriend held the same hesitation, having isolated himself for some time… but so long as Subaru gave him the green light, Kamui liked the idea of seeing the Sumeragi family becoming a little closer…

Then there were those moments… where Kamui would walk by, and overhear bits and pieces of their conversations.

"It's nice to see you smile," Subaru's mother comments, eyes wincing right after. Her hand stills, pausing just above her son's head as though she had done something wrong.

Subaru took no offense, or at the least had no urge to comment on it. Kamui knew his boyfriend was just too kind to place blame on his parents… for anything. Even if he did have to take on a grand responsibility from such a young age.

"There's a reason for that," Subaru returns after a moment of deliberation. He closes his eyes soothingly, sensing the curious pair of violet eyes peering over the door frame. Green and gold eyes open and fixate upon his little eavesdropper.

Kamui yelps out a cry, walking into the room with a bit of guilt. He rubs the back of his neck. "I'm back…"

Subaru's mother laughs softly, whispering something to her son that made him burn a deep crimson. But… whatever she said he nodded in agreement at the end.

Kamui felt his heart skip, imagination taking hold… still he could never suppress the beaming smile on his lips.

Subaru's father had an even quieter personality than his spouse. He spoke in such a murmuring tone, that Kamui had to focus on hearing him.

He had a knack for cooking, more so than his wife, and helped Kamui set up a 'recovery' meal for Subaru. The image of Akira Ijyuin came to mind with fondness.

Subaru's mother held the most impressive amount of psychic power out, being of the Sumeragi clan. It seemed the more impressive an Onmyouji's power the less skilled they were in the kitchen.

'Like mother like son… ' Kamui thought fondly, though adoring every bit of effort his boyfriend put into trying his best.

---

Closer

The visits with the parents and Subaru's grandmother were nice. Kamui felt more at ease with the Sumeragi clan with each new experience visiting. But nothing felt quite like being alone with his lover. So… quite happy to unwind, and cuddle up, he sauntered into the bedroom.

"Your parents are very nice," Kamui says warmly, walking into the bedroom with a tray. "I've made you some soup," he proceeds to enter the room, now certain his lover hadn't fallen back asleep.

"Thank you, my beautiful Kamui," Subaru holds to the handles of the tray, watching how carefully his precious person places the steaming bowl of soup over him.

"You're doing that on purpose…" Kamui grumbles, turning his cheek, to hide the inevitable blush sweeping from ear to ear.

"I don't know what you're referring to," Subaru says a little coyly, a sparkle in his eye, noting he was feeling a bit better. "I'm only saying what I feel…you're breathtaking…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know…." The younger man grumbles, pursing his lips tightly to prevent them from melting.

"You're so…."

'Completely unfair…' Kamui's mind supplies, falling quickly to his lover's spell. 'Saying things like that with no warning… acting composed when doing so… "

"You're the one who is so… you're my perfect Subaru." His lips curl up before he leans down.

"Hearing the word perfect from your lips…Now, I'll really have to live up to those words." Subaru instantly tilts his head up, kissing his lips eagerly. He lifts one hand from the tray to tenderly cup Kamui's cheek.

"You already are… perfect to me." Kamui comes to realize over and over how fate gave him no choice but to fall hard for this man. Between soft plush kisses, he murmurs.

'Your kindness is beyond any I've known…'

"You seem to be feeling better," Kamui cheerily says, crawling over the bed to lay by his beloved's side.

"I am," Subaru agrees and maintains a loving smile. He scoops under Kamui's jawline pulling him in for a lingering kiss. "Thanks to you."

"You don't need to thank me for that. I'm happy to do so…" Kamui ensures, he can still see the traces of tiredness in his eyes. "It is my power that's been causing this."

Subaru shakes his head. "Don't give it a second thought. I wanted this with you… and it's not like I'm hurting, just tired… processing how amazing your powers truly are…"

"Subaru…"

"And besides…. I am a bit guilty…" Subaru abashedly confesses. "I do really like having you nursing me back to health."

Kamui blinks, taking in the words slowly sinking in before fondness lifts his entire expression high. His eyes mirror a glossy and hungry state in front of him…

Subaru quickly places the tray of food off the bed. He grasps Kamui's sides pulling him on top.

Kamui let his body relax completely in the sweeping embrace. Letting those hands trail down and rest oh so comfortably on his hips, left the younger man reciprocal.

"I love when you do that…" Kamui's smaller hands rest over the pair at his hips. His hands are next to take their journey, sleeping behind a sleek neck, another hand undoing the top two buttons on his lover's sleep shirt.

Subaru's grip upon his hips secured even further, gently lifting the lighter male and resting lower precisely.

In a heated moment, violet orbs fall into a pair of gold and emerald. Lips came crashing in, heated, wanton, and longing. First traces of tongue entering between plush lips sparked electricity from head to toe. By far, their longest and deepest kiss for nearly a week. Melding together as cries became devoured by each other's mouths.

"I've missed this…" Kamui begins, panting, yet craving to feel more and more.

In lieu of a verbal response, Subaru pulls Kamui into a harder, deeper, and far more passionate kiss. Tongue entered between plush lips, ravishing every bit of his petite lover. This kiss lasted several moments longer, with kisses, licks, and nibbles throughout.

The kiss returned with equal passion and the thought of finally… being intimate again… seemed to be in grasp…

Such a passion and spark ignited as though the past few days had been months apart without feeling this kind of touch.

At least, until Kamui looked into the sleepy worn-out eyes of his lover moments after their makeout session began. The hands at Kamui's side became weaker in their hold, kisses slowing down, Subaru having to break more often for breaths… blinking eyes, and body collapsing into the pillows below.

To make amends Subaru hurriedly sits, up tugging behind Kamui's head for a cherishing kiss. The younger male presses down until his lover lie back.

"It's alright Subaru" Kamui plays with his lover's hair, cast all across the pillowcase."You need sleep," he understands the circumstances. Really he does…although he was waiting for his body to understand it and cool down.

"But…. I…." Exhaustion spreads out through blinking eyes barely able to stay partly open. "I'm sorry…" Subaru apologized, truly holding guilt over what was out of his control. Gold and emerald orbs, blinking back tears. Kamui kisses the source of unshed tears.

"Don't be," Kamui kisses him gently. We will have time for that when you feel better..." he consoles, guiding his lover to roll to his side and snuggle against his chest. "Let's rest…"

Subaru wearily gives in, between his body's recent urges to sleep and the warmth on top of him it took no time to fall back asleep.

One week, into the recovery period, Subaru finally finds his strength returning… and then some.

"I love you." Subaru breathes, emphatically, lips worshipping a tender neck. Kiss marks rest on every inch of skin they've missed the past week.

"Ah, love you too-...ah…but are you sure- '' Kamui's breath hitches over every few words. There is still a clear concern in his eyes, although it quickly becomes glazed over with a lingering want.

"I'm sure," Energized with a sense of renewal, he lifts Kamui by the hips, lightly tossing him back onto their bed. Kamui gasps at the sudden movement. He closes his legs tight and tries to hide, just how aroused the action made him.

"My sweet Kamui. I'm going to make it up to you…" Subaru purrs, kneeling on the bed, and closing in on his beloved. Not planning on letting Kamui go unsatisfied again. The inner power of light and dark blends into an ethereal harmony. For the first time in years, he finds himself able to breathe, at peace, with a sense of his control.

Subaru pins Kamui's body to the bed as their lips meld. Without another thought, Kamui spreads himself out, letting his beloved come in closer, completely feeling his oversensitive state. Now making up for the lost time.

Finally… They returned here. Days feel like years since they lavished each other's touch. Becoming bare to one another, completely bound and connected felt like nothing else, described a love inside beyond what words could hope to say.

Words come to mind, as the pair bask in the heat of familiar intimacy. The movement was overwhelming, that they could hardly catch their breath.

"Thank you for caring for me." Subaru professes with such sincerity. His lips return to kiss over all the previous marks.

"I was happy to do so… and you… did quite a lot of caring for me now so…" Kamui returns, with burning cheeks. His finger traces little circles and hearts over his lover's chest.

"I was also happy to do so…" Subaru quotes with bemusement dancing in his eyes. A tender kiss. "And soon we can return home. I know I've kept you here for a while…I'll make it up to you… is there anywhere you'd like to go first?"

"When we get back to Tokyo, there is one place I want to take you…." Kamui mentions with a beaming smile, brighter than the sunset beneath them.

---

~Soulmates~

Finally, back home to Tokyo. Despite everything that happened, every betrayal, every loss, and every heartache-Tokyo is still home. By some fortune or fate finally being merciful they were able to create memories in this city. Memories were so unforgettable and not due to the pain they brought, but this time sheer joy, and happiness beyond what many would even dream of.

CLAMP school, while not their private home, served as an important landmark for many events. Their heartbreaking initial meeting in the hospital gave them the connection both desperately needed. Such peaceful study breaks in the gazebo all, before hell breaks loose again, had been a necessary breather.

This place managed to become unharmed during all the events of 1999. Perhaps it was fated to stay intact, protecting the holy sword after all. Because of that, this school could remain as a Sanctuary, keeping in happier memories, no battles having been fought inside the walls.

This particular school held many memorable events… now being just over a year from the planned confession at the Spring festival. This year would be special though different. At the end of every week hosted mini celebrations to keep students motivated throughout the weekdays.

Arriving later than usual, Kamui and Subaru managed to detract themselves from (most) of their usual attention when walking together.

There was one event, in particular, they needed to take part in. The elegant maze and garden of roses come into view. It remain suspiciously unoccupied, even if it was near closing time for the festival. Kamui could venture a guess as to the 'why' or 'who' had made this possible. A mischievous 'enjoy yourselves' when he called the director to confirm he was back from Kyoto, held an air of mischief about it.

Although considering it brought them this moment, he really couldn't complain. The garden created another sweet safe haven, to become comfortable, just the two of them. Precious memories were made right here, even if the ultimate goal of confessing one's love hadn't quite made it out yet.

"I know they would have had to replace and plant everything new here… " Subaru begins to speak, a gentle voice breaking him from these thoughts. "But… still…"

"It feels the same," Kamui provided the words, making their eyes meet again, drawing in a short silence. Their eyes always knew how to communicate best.

"Exactly," Subaru expresses softly, reaching behind the bench they were in. He snapped the stem, freeing a single red rosebud. His fingers feel up and down the stem securing away any possible thorns.

The younger man closes his tender violet eyes, having an idea as to where this was going. He had no complaints about receiving this affection, although he hoped one day he could reciprocate in a way without becoming too flustered.

Tenderly, those hands moved closely. One holding the rose as the other brushes long dark locks behind Kamui's ear. Subaru slips the stem into the place between his love's soft hair and the back of his ear.

"Perfect," Subaru finishes, leaning back as though admiring a grand art piece. The word comes out far more accurately, to lovesick eyes as a pair of violet-blue draw open, enchanting.

"I had a feeling you might say that…" Kamui murmurs, attempting to sound more playful than abashed. It became a good mix of the two.

"Only because it's the truth," Subaru lightly defends himself and kisses the worry lines on Kamui's forehead away.

"I… almost can't believe it's been over a year now…"

'Nearly a year and a half since that battle… and yet today…' Kamui reflects, that no matter where his thoughts may drift, the aching sensation couldn't last long… not now… not with more equally powerful memories taking place.

With the bitter comes an overwhelming sweetness, soothing the lingering aches of yesterday.

"Nor can I…" Subaru drawls out, reflective as he turns his head, carding fingers through soft black hair. "It feels like a dream… but I hope it's n-"

"It's not!" Kamui immediately rushed in, earning a sweet laugh from his love. It was too short but still somehow so mesmerizing. He needed a lifetime hearing more.

Still, there's an aching sense of fear quivering in gem-like eyes.

Subaru conveys the fear almost too softly to catch… "If this were a dream, I'm sure I'd never have the strength to wake up from it."

"But, it's not, " Kamui ensures, directly from his heart. He quickly grasps the hand both lying on his lap and lingering on top of his head. The words were perhaps simple, but… the intent strong enough to light a spark in gold and emerald eyes.

Happiness lingered. Maybe because it was the first time…in a lifetime reality felt even better than his greatest dreams. He could hear and feel his precious person in a way no dream could replicate.

"Kamui…" Subaru blinks, feeling every ounce of anguish from his fears, starting to heal. All as though the few words of assurance were a miracle drug…

Kamui smiles brightly, tracing the lines and on the back of his lover's hand. "You're here with me, now." Assurance comes through like a breath of life.

Subaru is certain the only thing 'missing' from the beauty beside him is a halo. Everything else in this moment cemented the idea Kamui was ethereal, his angel.

Soft silence escapes between, the only sounds coming from the shifts of movement as Kamui turns so their bodies better line up. Violet-blue eyes seduce a brightening gold and emerald into closing in.

Tenderly, Kamui lifts his chin. His face leans in and up. Subaru leans down just enough to make their lips press fully over the other. Sweet little kisses remain as a constant reminder, the touch of lips and squeezes of joined hands an assurance of reality.

Breaks for air were needed less, things being kept unhurried and fairly innocent. Soft lips brushed just to feel, join, and comfort the other in a way words could never do justice. Slowly, parting, they pause, holding tightly so their fingers link, palms press together more securely.

"You're right…" Subaru professes, eyes still closed. His thumb caresses the top of Kamui's hand. He leans lower so their foreheads meet for a soft rest. "I could never dream of something this precious…"

Just when he assumed his heart could relish in the sweet, zen-fueled moment it began again accelerating. A few kisses smoothed over Kamui's lips before he could utter a reply. But he was just fine with leaning in and melding their lips as his own assuring response. They continued to linger between kisses and tender moments gazing into each other's eyes, now creating a stronger form of connection.

While loving the moment, there was still something on Kamui's mind. It never sits well to leave secrets between or things like this unspoken not when they are so connected.

"Um…Subaru…?" Kamui requests, words slipping in the small crevice between their lips.

"Yes…" Subaru returns, encouraging a reply, but not until he lets their lips brush again, languid and adoringly.

"I do have something to tell you…" Kamui's lips purse together, feeling nerves set in

"Okay?" Subaru opened his eyes, looking deeply into the sea of violet-blue gazing into him. The conviction and told him this was quite serious he followed up with assurance. "You can tell me anything, Kamui."

The younger male bestows a tender kiss, in return for endearing words. "I know…" His lips curl up, feeling one hand detangling from his own, to cup his face. "It's nothing bad I promise.."

"Even if I were, I'd want you to tell me." Subaru's words soothe his pursed lips to a tiny smile. Kamui holds the hand over his cheek, cradling it lovingly.

"It happened the night before the ceremony… in Kyoto. I didn't say anything before I just wanted you to be at ease recovering and all…" Guided by the tender kisses on his forehead he takes a deep breath. "I'm not 100 percent certain it wasn't a dream but I do have this feeling…".

"It's alright you can tell me… even if-"

"It's about Hokuto."

Merely uttering the name left Subaru frozen. Those emerald and gold orbs stared off into the abyss, lost in countless emotions, and memories.

Kamui took the hand from his cheek and dragged it down to his lips, then chest. His heart thundered, the feeling immense as though beating just for the man beside him. Finally, Kamui let their hands join to lay in his lap, he nuzzles the side of his neck.

Seeing, focus return to gold-emerald orbs, a sense of acceptance, he continues.

"In my dream… I saw her… your sister… she loves you so much, Subaru!" Kamui cries out, emotions starting to bleed from his eyes. His gaze was unwavering until those mismatched eyes came to the present meeting his own.

"You… were able to talk with her," Subaru speaks as though lost in a dream, eyes a little foggy. He does return the hold, hand clasping, returning gentle squeezes.

This was something… he long desired. Two precious people he loves immensely were able to meet, and converse if only for a few moments. Yet, he imagined it near impossible. Perhaps it was possible, in the afterlife… but this… he could never have predicted how much he'd feel from this realization.

The weight of hearing such an event brought to reality…became too much to handle on his own. Unsure whether to smile or cry, Subaru laid his head down beside Kamui's neck. He indulged in the strength and security felt being this close. His teary eyes fell into a welcoming space on Kamui's shoulder. Emotions sweep over, overwhelming.

Kamui was nothing but patient with him. Letting him linger for several moments, his right-hand lifts to stroke the back of Subaru's head. Only when the older male was able to look up to him in the eyes again did he continue.

"She said a lot of things… but what she cared most for was your happiness…" Kamui begins taking a deep breath and pulling his lover down into an embrace.

Subaru's head is cradled, laid soundly against a warm chest. His ears are privy to the most beautiful heart song amongst all the overwhelming feelings.

Kamui carefully details the brief yet impactful dream he held. The fact Hokuto would watch over him the best she could, how she tried to talk again to enter the realm of dreams and how much her heart revolved around her twin's happiness. The blame and guilt she felt along with even some embarrassing details, teasing about the newly developed couple: nothing was left out. His lover's twin sister and her wishes for their happiness were all spoken. Every detail recounted as Subaru deserved nothing less.

"So that's what she told you…" Subaru ultimately found his voice, barely, but it let out.

"Yes, unfortunately, my dream only lasted so long… and If I could I'd have it be you who got to speak with her again but-"

Subaru holds up a hand and shakes his head. He leans closer, nuzzling his love's neck, before turning back up. "No, I am happy she was able to talk with you…" Lingering sadness and longing stirred in those eyes, but Kamui let his beloved finish. "Of course I miss her, but her being able to meet you… to know she won't need to worry… for that I'm glad."

"Subaru," Kamui coos tenderly, he lunges forward, heart moving ahead of his mind. Surging forward, he securely wraps his around his boyfriend's neck. His fingers bury into his Subaru's hair, hands holding the back of his head.

"She had a lot of things to say… and uh… I still can't believe it after knowing me for a short time… she seemed convinced… we'd be…" Kamui paused, biting on his lip, red hues rising from the neck up. Why couldn't he get this thought out?

"We'd be…perhaps getting… married?" Subaru supplied, mind fueled with bittersweet memories, inspiring mixed laughter.

It was a strange sensation. His mind flashed back to being a teenager. He'd get ridiculously flustered, upset, and question his preferences more often than not. Certainly, the thought made him want to hide away when Hokuto would say the same about him and Seishirou. But being older, knowing himself better and…seen as being bound with Kamui in such a way… brought a curl to his lips.

Of course, his sister's peculiar interest in his intimate relationship with Kamui was still one too embarrassing to ignore. he could feel the flush on his cheeks. His finger grasped Kamui's left hand, brushing over the silver band. Beautiful, a bit simplistic, yet quite perfect for the stage of their relationship.

'One day I'll give you one far more beautiful…' Subaru thinks on this, all the while playing with his lover's left hand. 'If you'd want to… in the future…' he had his hopes, especially judging by Kamui's reactions. Such a beautiful expression is only enhanced by reds and pinks.

"Um… yeah…but that was pretty much it…" Kamui turns his head slightly and clears his throat before placing a finger on his burning cheek sheepishly. His entire expression softens gazing up at the sky above, knowing he'd melt all over again looking passionate.

Every time he thought of it… he couldn't imagine being anything but ridiculously happy being betrothed to Subaru. To be fair they did already live together, and knew each other's hearts better than a lot of already married couples…. But… still… it wasn't quite time… yet still a very pleasant hope for their future.

"I wonder…. Do you believe in soulmates?" Kamui portrays the words dreamily, belatedly realizing his thoughts came to words. Whatever fire tamed inside, flared up again, staining his cheeks at the omission. Immediately he covers his mouth with his right hand, left quite occupied.

Subarus' eyes widened at the response, briefly loosening his hold on his lover's hand. Kamui tries to take the other back, to cover his lips, preventing more of his thoughts from slipping.

"I…" Now there was a question Subaru hadn't expected. His eyes raised near comically, heart thundering.

Seeing the such surprise on his lover's face made Kamui relax a little. Knowing he wasn't alone, he could find relief, while unintentional the words he'd been meaning to ask were out there. For better or worse.

Subaru lost himself within his thoughts, Soulmates that red string of fate…It's not a concept he'd learned in life to be pleasant. Not for some time….

Surely, in one way or another, he was connected to Seishirou by fate, but that version of being soul mates only brought pain in the end. The red string snapped crueler than he'd ever imagined possible, at a terrible despairing fatality.

Thinking of the here and now…he had to reconsider. Could it be possible… there were other connections, perhaps a truer or purer string of fate binding him and Kamui together… after enduring unbearable pain from past broken love… His heart couldn't stand to lose anyone else… not again ever… not Kamui… Despite spending a fraction of his life, keeping his heart from growing attached, he fell helplessly, mercilessly again… as though his heart had no concept of prior pain, it kept beating again… flowing and letting in another…

'Fate… Soulmates…that red string. For so long I've seen it either as a fairy tale… and then a rather cruel twist of fate.'

Love that only brings pain and sadness in the end… that was his past. Kamui remains his present and his future.

'Perhaps the soulmate that could bring me happiness beyond… all agony…'

Soulmates… Kamui… Were they connected?

Did he believe in Soulmates? Or perhaps having a soulmate who could bring true joy like in those fairy tales. Did that word encapsulate brimming emotions brought about when thinking of his connection with Kamui? Perhaps no word would be enough for that emotion, and yet something felt right.

"If it's you then…" Subaru processes, eyes narrowing and focusing on their joined hands. The way their fingers overlapped, the two silver bands glistening under the sunlight like a sign from heaven, and that pull made him look back up. Upon deeply gazing into a sea of blu-violet, he could breathe words again with certainty. "Yes."

All it took was that final word to bring the flood of tears crashing from shimmering violet eyes.

"I feel… the same way…." Kamui's breathing goes uneven, sniffling and whimpering between words.

To think… after everything they endured they could reach this place. Lost in their own little world, surrounded by this beautiful flower garden felt like a dream. Professing feelings of love, soulmates, and marriage… thoughts like that never seemed possible for either before.

"I love you," Kamui bursts out, eyes still glowing with tears. He couldn't wait for them to stop, nor to catch his breath. He needed to lean in closer, join their hands and lips in unison.

Subaru closed his eyes, instinctively returning the kiss the second he came to. Sweeter kisses only became more passionate. Indulgently, Kamui tugged him in for a passionate, French kiss.

Addictively, lips and tongues joined, dancing and melding upon one another. It became hard to keep track, Kamui completely losing himself at the moment. He began leaning into his lover's form, partially straddling him and bringing them both back.

Subaru came to, at least held some sense they were on school property upon feeling his back brushing against some of the leaves. They should stay with kisses, he would remind himself. He kept his hands on Kamui's waist, keeping his lover still, from moving in a manner best suited for their bedroom… or at the least complete privacy. While keeping his body respectfully, in place distanced from more mature activities he lingered here.

At the least he could indulge in the movements and of their lips joining, for nothing in the world could keep him from that.

"And I love you so much Kamui," Subaru returned to the profession with equal passion and devotion the second they broke for air. Shimmering diamonds lit up within those breathtaking gems of eyes. "For now, forever, for the rest of our lives… Please, Kamui will you continue to be mine? *

"That almost sounds like a proposal, " Kamui for a second time speaks without thinking. His heart had considerable control over his thoughts today.

"Not quite yet," Subaru's lips curve up in a sweet yet playful manner.

Oh.

OH.

'Yet…' Violet-blue, sparkly orbs, shot up immediately, though taking all color the world had to offer for the first time.

"Then...for what you were saying, of course, I'd say yes… and if in the future… " Kamui begins, a little playfully, the tinge of pink brushing his cheeks shows he's a little flustered at the slip. His heart couldn't stay calm, not even at the idea of Subaru planning to ask him that. "If you want to ask me something else..., you won't need to guess. I can give you my answer ahead of time."

Now seemed the perfect moment, even if it wasn't the moment, such a question would be asked… it didn't mean Kamui didn't want to spoil and lavish his lover with assurances… a part of him wanted to scream the feelings of love, how deeply he'd fallen and how much he loved being with the one beside him.

"Not yet," Subaru expresses lightly, pressing his finger to his beloved's soft plush lips. Dreamily looking into those violet eyes he loved so much, he finished. A feeling of completion takes over at this moment…

"Alright…" Kamui closes his eyes, shaking his head with an overcoming fondness. "But I'm certain… my answer now and then… won't change." He confesses, so happily words falling beautifully, beaming brighter and more heavenly than the sun behind him.

No words could describe the level of joy… connection and amorous feelings melting between. Fluttering eyes closed.

"I love you…" Fell from both Subaru and Kamui's lips before joining in a lingering and seemingly endless kiss.

Happy tears begin to slip, subtly and slowly as their lips joined again certain they had a beautiful present and incredible future to look forward to.

'Yes.' Kamui thinks knowing his answer could be no other.

Finally, being here. Subaru and Kamui could just be… feeling the salvation given from a fated and freeing form of love.

Whether it came to a proposal or question of if they were truly bound as Soulmates.'For you.. . My answer will always be yes. '

~El Fin Happy end~

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Authors notes: okay but ahhh. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 This story has been such a project of love and a part of my life for so long. An epilogue is on the way as a final update after this finale. I hope you all enjoyed the journey from start to finish and the relationship developing. These two deserve nothing but the best and all the happiness in the world. While there may not be an end X to ex let alone a somewhat hopeful ending I wanted to write this much as a love letter to this couple.

I'll see you for the epilogue and hope you all are well! The epilogue is kind of a few years' time-skip happy ending for them- let me know if there is anything you would like to see in the next epilogue and I will add it there or in a future one-shot when never I plan some out ^_^