Kakashi lifted his hands and applauded stoically. Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, and then back to the man.
The Daimyo's wife fanned herself frantically. "Isn't he just like a hero out of storybooks?"
The man walked forward and eased himself onto the fourth tatami mat. The 'smile' he gave her was closer to a leer. "I'm always happy to be a hero for my first muse, my first patron, and the most revered philanthropist of the arts!"
"Huh? What's that mean?" Naruto scratched his neck, head darting between the two.
"Jiraiya is the author of many prestigious works of literature," Kakashi said.
The huge man took the Lady's outstretched hand into his, pressing a noisy kiss against it. "And this wonderful lady you see before you not only inspired some of my earlier works, but she also financed my book series when I first published!"
"What books?" Sasuke asked, darting a suspicious glance at Kakashi.
"Why, the Icha-Icha series, of course," the Fire Lady sighed.
Kakashi cheerfully took out his battered orange copy of Icha-Icha Paradise- Make Out Paradise- to both the Lady and Jiraiya's delight.
"… YOU WROTE THOSE PERVY BOOKS?" Naruto bellowed at Jiraiya. Then, "YOU'RE READING HIS PERVY BOOKS?" with an accusing finger at Kakashi. Then, after a beat, "WAIT, THE DAIMYO'S WIFE READS THOSE PERVY BOOKS AND THEY'RE ABOUT HER?"
"Only a brief inspiration, from the blossom of my youth," the Lady said, her eyes sparkling.
"Naruto, don't be impolite," Kakashi rebuked. "You're speaking to the wife of your Daimyo and to one of the legendary sannin. Show some respect."
"Sannin? Three-nin? What's that even mean?" Naruto groused.
"… Did you attend a single class at school, or were you too busy skipping?" Sasuke asked. "The Legendary Three- the sannin- were named from their involvement in the Second Shinobi War. They were the only survivors after defeating Hanzo the Salamander." He spoke matter-of-factly, but his face held a flat, unimpressed expression.
"And as the woman we are seeking out was also a sannin, having Jiraiya to help us will go a long way." Kakashi admonished. "Remember, she ran away from Konoha. If convincing her to come back will be difficult, that's nothing compared to how difficult it would be to find her in the first place."
"And this is where I come in," The Lady Fire said importantly, withdrawing a scroll from her sleeve. "I've been exchanging messages by hawk with my good friend, the Mayor of Tanzaku Gai..."
"Hey!" Naruto said. "That's that big town where we delivered- uh..."
She nodded crisply. "The mayor was also dismayed to learn of this attack so close to his beloved city. He has agreed to help us in any way he can… Which is where Jiraiya's information comes into play."
Jiraiya nodded. "This woman we're looking for, she's a gambler. She may be a Legendary Sannin, but she's also known by another name: The Legendary Sucker. She travels to different cities, gambling away all of her money with her notorious bad luck, and then puts on a jutsu disguise to hide her appearance… Only to do it all over again in the next town. It's the only way she can keep ahead of her debt collectors."
Naruto scrunched up his face. "How are we supposed to find someone like that? Especially if she's hiding what she looks like!"
Jiraiya grinned. "It'll be easier than you think. One," He held up a finger. "She only uses the jutsu to disguise herself as herself at different ages. It's enough to fool most civilians, but not me. Two," He held up another finger. "The Mayor of Tanzaku Gai has agreed to help us, while helping his city in the process..."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
The Daimyo's Wife smiled. "You see, ninja attacks are bad for business when you're a tourist attraction… it frightens all the travellers away. What better way to draw them back in than with a Festival of Luck?"
"A Festival of Luck?" Sasuke asked.
"A week-long event of gambling," Jiraiya said enthusiastically. "Ending with a lottery for a very heavy purse, put up by the Mayor himself. She won't be able to resist, like a fly to honey..."
"I may have also put forth a few ryo toward the project," the Lady said slyly, passing her scroll to Kakashi.
He unravelled it to reveal a flyer advertising the event. His eyes widened as he read on. "… A few ryo, huh?"
Sasuke and Naruto craned their necks to look. Their jaws dropped.
"That's..." Naruto began. "That's a whole lotta zeroes."
"So no pressure," the Lady said mildly. "But please do succeed. I don't take kindly to Konoha's brightest stars fading away into the night. Bring her home, where she belongs. Her people yet have need of her, and if she is a true shinobi of Konoha, she needs them as well."
"As poetic as ever, Lady," Jiraiya said, wiping at a suspiciously dry eye.
"The festival begins in five days," Kakashi said, crossing his arms. "That leaves enough time for our target to catch word about the festival… And we depart in two days, at ten in the morning. That will give us three days to scout the area and organise a plan."
"We're gonna leave Sakura like that for more than five days?!" Naruto exclaimed. Sasuke crossed his arms beside him.
"It's either five days or forever," Kakashi said bluntly. "I spoke with her doctors; there were no changes overnight. If you want to hold out for a miracle, you're welcome to stay here. Personally, I intend to do everything I can for my team. If you're interested in joining me, meet me at the village gate two days from now."
There was a pause.
Naruto jumped to his feet. "You hear that, Sasuke-Bastard? We only have two days to train before we leave! Let's go!"
With that, the three adults were left with echoing footfalls as the boys sprinted out of the room.
"That was cruel, Hatake-san..." The Lady said gently.
Jiraiya sighed. "Kids have to learn sometime, and sooner is better than later… But that noisy kid. He truly is the spitting image of his father."
"His attitude reminds me a little more of his father's sensei," The Lady said, eyes sparkling as she poured another cup of tea.
Kakashi sighed. "Jiraiya-sama… isn't it time the boy's been told?"
Jiraiya looked down, hair sliding forward to frame his face. "You know what the Hokage thinks of that… And he's right. It would be far too dangerous for him."
"The more time goes on..." The Lady said, a note of worry in her voice. "The older he becomes, the harder it will be to hide. Even with so few knowing now, at this rate, others will discover the truth before he does..."
A pall of silence fell over the room.
The next day, at six in the morning, Kakashi Hatake found himself once more shrouded in the trees of Training Ground 3, watching his genin as they worked hard at training.
When he had first assigned his team this training ground, he had not realised they would continually meet back at the same place, day after day, and earlier each day at that.
He was well-known, perhaps even notorious, for being late to all things. But very few knew the reason: he would come to this same ground, every morning, and kneel before the Memorial Stone. He would find himself lost in thought for hours on end, reliving the same mistakes over and over again.
When he had finally taken on his first genin team, he did not think they would break him of his habit. He had no reason to suspect.
On several occasions, he'd considered guiding them toward a different training ground. It would have been very easy; he'd only have to make the suggestion, find one closer to their homes, one with more equipment. And yet…
As the days drew on and he said nothing, he found his heart had become lighter.
Instead of spending the first hours of his day caught in the hopeless web of guilt, he found himself watching as his students trained relentlessly for hours on end. Guiding one-another, helping each member improve where they were lacking, and forming a bond much stronger than that of a cohesive team unit.
No, they were forming a family.
And despite the great chunks of time he spent away from them, he felt himself being drawn further into their tangle each day. Where he had before been obsessed with the deaths of his teammates, now his obsession had become the lives of this team.
He loved them. He was not too proud or stoic to admit it to himself, despite his years of ANBU training and the ruthless treatise of the shinobi mindset. With his years, he had learned that the bonds between team members were far more important than arbitrary rules and tradition.
When he had first received word of their mission ban, he'd felt as though ice had been poured into his lungs. The mandate had come from the Hokage himself, and he was never one to hold back able ninja lightly. For such extreme measures to be taken, his team was in far greater danger than he had imagined.
It was the evening after he relayed the message to his team that he found himself appearing on Inoichi Yamanaka's back doorstep, where the man was quietly sitting, gazing at the moon.
"Hatake," the man sighed. "For the last time, I can't-"
"If they were yours, you wouldn't hesitate," Kakashi said quietly.
Inoichi turned to stare at him.
"… If it were your own daughter, you would stop at nothing." Kakashi eased himself to sit beside the man. "And she's almost like your daughter, isn't she?"
Inoichi hung his head. "… Some things are more important than regulation. Eh, Kakashi?"
And so, with all the information available in hand, Kakashi spent the following days and nights roaming the forests outside the walls of Konoha, his tracking dogs scattered around him to catch the scent of the intruders.
It wasn't long before he had caught two of them. Most shinobi villages worked in groups of three, he knew. There would still be one missing… But it was enough. At first.
The evening after the second attack, after giving his reports, Kakashi found himself in the middle of T&I, holding the commanding officer Ibiki Morino by his lapels against the wall.
"What do you MEAN disappeared?" he shouted, all composure gone.
Ibiki raised a hand to stay the rush of shinobi who had run forward to interfere. He spoke calmly. "Exactly how it sounds. Both the two ninja from before and the two you've just brought in. Disappeared into thin air, before my very eyes."
"You're lying!"
Ibiki swiftly headbutted him, and he fell to the floor, groaning in pain.
"Do not try to get a read on me, Hatake. The appearance of composure is not the same as being pleased. You should know this more than anyone."
Kakashi rose to his feet. "Then what happened?"
Ibiki sighed. "… I've only had one theory, judging by the residual chakra left behind from their departure. And it is a ploy I hope no other enemy ninja have the intelligence or gall to recreate..."
Kakashi frowned. He could not think of a single technique that could teleport four individual shinobi away from private holding cells.
"A human summoning scroll."
Kakashi's breath caught in his chest.
Ibiki continued, "Whomever sent them out had a backup plan, and summoned their return before we could break through the genjutsu blocks in their minds." Ibiki snarled, "The very same variety of summoning scrolls we were planning on using in the upcoming Chunin exams… we have infiltrators."
Kakashi cursed.
The only thing left was to try to repair the damage that had already been done.
It was the clashing of many fortunes that had led to the Retrieval Plan.
Kakashi was walking out of headquarters with a slouch in his step. He'd intended to go to the hospital, but he didn't know what he could possibly do once he arrived. He'd already gotten word of Sakura's condition; there was nothing he could do to change anything.
He was lost in his misery when a hand caught his arm.
"Hatake, right? Leader of Team 7?"
He had been about to bite off a misdirection when he caught sight of the man's face. "Jiraiya-sama?"
The man's mouth was pressed into a hard line. "I was in the village investigating some strange rumours, and I found only greater mysteries. There is a certain lady I was already planning to seek out, and I think she may prove the answer to one of your problems… Perhaps more."
Kakashi frowned. "More?"
Jiraiya nodded solemnly. "I came to investigate rumours of an attack on Konoha genin… And who should I find in the middle of it, but a genin with powers rumoured to match those of my dear friend. Perhaps you can guess the child I speak of when I tell you my friend's name: Tsunade."
And Kakashi had understood. All too clearly.
He had caught flickers of Sakura's fight out of the corner of his eye. He had known, in small measure, of the child's extraordinary chakra control- but to see her burst free of a cocoon his sharingan showed was crawling with chakra… That bordered on Hyuuga level chakra-control of the body. If not exceeding it.
And indeed, there was another woman famous for her impressive chakra control, tightly bound to pull off feats of strength ordinarily impossible for anyone without a bloodlimit ability.
And then after, to see the flash of red as blood spilt forth- at that moment, he thought he had failed. Thought he'd already managed to get his student killed. But then, at a second short glance from his sharingan, he saw Sakura on the ground, chakra still whole.
With new chakra intertwining within hers, cold and menacing. What had before been an occasional flicker, something that he thought was a trick of his imagination, was now banding around her body like grasping threads.
She wasn't dead yet, but if he did not find this Legendary Healer and Master of Chakra-Control, it may not be much longer before she was.
Kakashi looked Jiraiya square in the eyes.
"Tell me everything you know, and I'll return the favour."
Extra Special Trivia Part 13: I'm starting to get embarrassed at all the notes I leave in here, so I started a tumblr blog. It's under the same name as my penname. Hopefully this will get it out of my system.