Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of the characters.

Gingeraffealene: I'll try!

Guest: Don't we all.

Blue Jean: If only the show could have ended differently.

"Merlin, time seems to pass so quickly now! It doesn't feel like that long ago I asked you to explore the new continent with me."

"Yeah, I don't know how you roped me into spooking the Conquistadores by flying around and glowing."

Morgana giggled. "Hey! I love doing fun things as a couple. They almost sailed back because they thought the land was full of ghosts."

"If I let you die I'd probably just be using magic for boring things like washing dishes and cleaning the floor."

The witch nudged Merlin with her elbow. "You do a good enough job of doing boring things without magic. I still can't fathom why a person would play Tetris for six hours straight."

"I choose to entertain myself in ways other than going to a farm, levitating all the cows on top of the barn, and watching everyone's reactions."

"It's more fun than Tetris!"

"Good morning, everyone. Please take your seats."

Morgana's class immediately quieted down.

"I am apparently supposed to emphasize the importance of going to college. As someone with eleven college degrees under six different names, I'll tell you that you should only go to college if you know what you want to study."

"Did you ever go to Harvard?" a girl asked.

"No, Sally, they rejected me when I applied in 1834. At that time I pretended to have a poor background. They didn't like that."

"My dad doesn't like that either. He thinks I shouldn't be with Jeremy because he 'has nothing to offer me'. But we love each other."

"Just like my father." Morgana rolled her eyes.

"So, are we ever going to get another funny story about a king?" Sally asked.

"Hey, I want to know where that sword in the stone thing came from," Daniel said.

"Surprise! We can do both."

"Merlin, this is a nice sword, but I can't carry it with me everywhere. I take baths, you know."

"Really? You're smelly enough to have fooled me."

"Merlin!"

"Shutting up, sire."

"Someone might actually steal this sword."

Merlin left and returned levitating a rather large stone. He stuck Excalibur in the stone, then laid a hand on the king and another on the sword. "There, I've enchanted it so that you can pull it out."

Arthur pulled out his sword. "I guess it works." He stuck it back in. "Gwaine?"

"Yes?"

"Do you mind trying to pull the sword out of here?"

"Uhh… sure?"

Gwaine struggled mightily but failed to pull the sword out. "It's really stuck in here. Tell you what, get me a drink or two and maybe I can do it."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Good enough for me."

Soon, Arthur returned to find the stone shattered and Morgana swinging his sword through the air.

"Merlin! I thought only I could pull it out!"

"Pull it out, yes. Blow the rock apart, no."

"This really is a nice sword," Morgana commented.

"Morgana, can you give Excalibur back?"

"Oh, it has a name? How touching."

"Merlin, are there any enchantments that keep annoying sisters away?"

"Well, if that sister is a witch, not likely, and if she's my wife, there's even less of a chance."

"I need it, Morgana."

"No, you don't. You have me."

"Well, yes, but unlike you, the sword fits comfortably on my waist, and unlike you, the sword doesn't humiliate me every time it protects me."

"Not every time! Only sometimes."

Later that day King Lot of Essetir was taking a stroll. "Morgana! I am so happy to see you. Together we can take Camelot easily." He noticed a great many swords stuck in a giant rock. "Is this for some type of spell?"

"No, I just felt like stopping the invasion by sticking every sword from Essetir's castle in this rock."

"I thought you were on my side!"

"I am on your side. I'm saving your army! If I didn't do this, you would invade Camelot, and I would be forced to wipe out your army with a tsunami. Isn't it better to lose just the swords?"

Lot turned to some guards. "Seize this witch!"

"I don't recommend seizing this witch, actually. People have been known to die trying."

None of the guards bothered to follow their king's order.

"I guess kingdoms that don't hate you don't make for good stories, huh?" Adrielle shrugged.

Morgana smirked.

Queen Annis was face-to-face with Morgana. "You came alone? Camelot promised help fixing the earthquake damage."

"What earthquake damage?"

"Do you dare insult me?" Annis pointed out the window. "Right… there?" She rubbed her eyes and looked again. "It was there this morning!"

"No damage? Good thing I came alone, then." Morgana smiled cheerfully. "Where's your husband?"

"Preparing the knights for an invasion from King Lot."

"Oh. I wouldn't worry about that."

"And why not?"

Morgana shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he's out of swords?"

The queen fumed. "This is no joking matter! We are still tending to the many wounded from his last invasion."

"What wounded?"

"I will make you see for yourself! You really dare to come into my castle and insult me." Annis marched down a hallway and opened a door.

"Empty beds? Why are you angry over that?"

The queen pointed at a man walking down the hallway. "Sir Bernard? But you have a broken leg!" She turned to a guard. "Escort me to my chambers, I am clearly not feeling well." Annis started walking while rubbing her forehead.

A woman passed her by and saw Morgana. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"What are you thanking her for?" Annis raised an eyebrow.

"Oh." The woman winced. "She came in earlier and healed everyone. Then she told us not to tell you because it was part of some prank she wanted to play on you."

Morgana facepalmed. "Aren't your subjects any good at lying?"

"I have lived quite a long life and this is the first time I have felt both thankful and angry towards the same person at the same time."

Sally poked Daniel. "Hey, are you actually reading the textbook? Why?"

"Inexplicably, one source describes an event where the king's sister chases him around the castle hitting him with a staff. This is inconsistent with other sources which describe her as a witch who could kill him far more easily."

"Oh, that."

Morgana knocked on Gaius' door.

"Come in," the old man said, expecting Merlin. He froze when Morgana strode into his chambers.

"What is that in your hands?"

"A staff that summons the undead."

"That was destroyed!"

"Merlin fixed it for me. He's so sweet."

Gaius sighed. "I'll have to lecture Merlin on what constitutes a romantic gesture. Fixing a lady's chamber door counts. Fixing her undead-summoning staff does not. Now are you here to kill me, or just to gloat? I'm sure I will die in a few years, anyway."

Morgana gasped. "No! I'm here to tell you that there's no need for you to worry about Merlin being with me. I love him."

"I did not get that impression the last time you used that staff."

"Don't breathe a word of this to Arthur, or he'll tease me mercilessly. Merlin is selfless, loyal, and a man anyone would be proud to call a friend. It doesn't hurt that he's romantic, too."

Gaius snorted. "I'm well aware of his hopeless lust for you."

"Lust? That word does him a disservice. You think he's with me for my body. Gaius, this is love. Either of us could have the body of a troll and we would still be together."

"Forgive me, I'm too old and cynical. Maybe you are speaking sincerely. And if you aren't," he sighed, "what can I really do about it?"

"I need him, Gaius. I'm too impulsive for my own good. And he needs me, so he can finally grow a spine. The world's most powerful warlock and he lets people just roll over him."

The physician's defenses finally broke down. He smiled. "Take good care of him."

"Oh, I will. I was alone, and now I'm not. You don't know how much that means to me." She blinked back tears. "If you don't mind, I'll stay in here for a bit, so Arthur doesn't see me crying."

Morgana heard snickering from behind the door.

"Never mind. If you'll excuse me, I have to go brutally murder my brother."

Gaius rubbed his forehead. It was back to the old Arthur and Morgana who grew up in the castle together. He prepared for a lot of headaches.

"Arthur!"

"Oh, Merlin is romantic? Ouch! Morgana! Please! Ouch! You'll break that staff, you know!"

"So, do you have a pointy hat?" Daniel asked.

Morgana smiled. "I still have it!"

Arthur had glanced over at some nobles, then at Merlin. "Merlin, we have got to get you a hat."

"I look just fine, Arthur."

"Oh, come on, I'm sure we can find one that looks good on you."

Arthur sent out George, who returned with a feathered cap.

"Ah, it really doesn't suit you, Merlin."

Gwaine volunteered himself for the task by rushing away before Arthur could stop him. He returned with a black pointed hat.

"What is that?" Arthur asked.

"The most ridiculous hat I could find." Gwaine announced proudly. He slapped it on Merlin. Everyone but Merlin laughed at how ridiculous it looked on him, and Merlin joined in when Gwaine handed him a mirror. They had regained their composure when the hat's point drooped, causing a new round of laughter.

Morgana strolled in and hung her head. "That looks awful. I swear, if that hat doesn't come off his head I will plot another overthrow of Camelot just to write a law forbidding him from wearing it."

"Should I get another hat, Sire?" George asked.

"No, I've changed my mind about the hat."

A few days later Merlin and Morgana stood in their chambers. Merlin spoke. "So who wants to tell Gwen that Arthur's injury wasn't from bandits, but from wagering with Leon that he could wrestle a bear and pin it?"

"We don't have to. I know Gwen, she used to be my servant. She is always well informed and I'm sure she already knows."

"Gwen? No, I know her better. We were servants together. She is just as clueless as ever. She was your maidservant and couldn't even figure out that you were a traitor."

"I like to think I just hid it especially well."

"Well, I figured it out."

"She definitely knows."

"She definitely doesn't."

"You want to bet?"

"Fine. Loser wears that ridiculous hat for a month."

"Sure."

Merlin and Morgana found Gwen walking down a hallway. Merlin walked alongside her. "Hey, Gwen, that injury Arthur got wasn't from bandits. He wrestled a bear because of a wager he made with Leon."

"He what?" Gwen set off on a rampage towards the throne room.

Later that day Morgana faced Merlin wearing the hat.

"I lost the bet, but this is bad for you, not me, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

The bell rang. "Class dismissed. And Sally?"

"Yes?"

"Don't listen to your father."