A/N: So before we find out what is going on with Dani, I want to say thank you again to all of you for reading and to encourage everyone reading to leave some feedback, because I live for it. For those of you who already are reviewing or PMing me about this story, thank you. I have so much love for you all.

Ghostwriter- Thanks, I'm glad you can understand why Dani was all over the place, I think this next chapter is going to be a very important turning point for a lot of things. I'm glad you're loving it and have been so responsive to this story! I'm amazed and so appreciative of how quickly your review hits my inbox after I've posted a new chapter.

Khyharah- Yeah she's had a lot thrown her way over the last few days. Trust me, Dani is definitely going to talk about it in this chapter.

KS- Is it all emotional or is something physical going on… we are about to find out. And we are going to get a lot more of Dani's story from this chapter.

Now let's get into this chapter…

*******WARNING: Mentions of abuse*******

Chapter 17

Opie and Jax were looking at Dani with a mix of concern and bewilderment. "Dani," Jax said cautiously, "I want to know what's going on with you, but you've been a fucking zombie for half of the day, you had a dream so bad we had to hold you down to keep you from hurting yourself." Dani looked down and noticed scratch marks along her arms. A quick glance showed both Jax and Opie sported a few scratches as well and feelings of sorrow and guilt flashed through her but Jax kept talking. "We tried to wake you but we couldn't get you to wake up. And look at you, you're pale as hell and you're shaking like a leaf, but NOW you want to talk? Are you sure this is the right time?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Dani replied. "I'm sorry I worried you so much today, and I'm sorry I hurt you when you were trying to help me, and yeah, I think I should do this tonight, now, while I have the courage to say it all." She spoke quietly but with certainty. "This won't be easy for me to say and I know it will probably be just as hard to hear. I know you've both been through a lot today too, mostly because of me, but I'm asking to do this tonight. Please."

Dani watched as the two men before her exchanged glances as if having a silent conversation between them before they looked back at her and nodded. She sighed with relief. "Thank you. I just need to—" Dani gestured to her room. "I need one minute before we do this." Dani squeezed by them and went into her room to use the bathroom facilities. When she was finished, she grabbed her purse from her bed and pulled out her journal. She stood there in a moment of hesitation before she also went to the chest of drawers and opened the bottom drawer and pulled out the brown messenger bag. She carried both of these things back into the dining room with her.

Dani could see that the chairs had been righted, Jax was already sitting in wait, and Opie was carrying a steaming bowl and a glass of water and set them at her usual place at the table. "Sit. Eat." His words were simple, but the way he spoke left no room for argument. Dani sat down, noticing Opie didn't take his seat until she picked up her fork and took a bite of reheated macaroni.

Dani took a few more bites before she spoke. "I really am sorry for worrying you."

"What happened, Dani? It was like you went into shock or something." Jax said.

Dani nodded, taking another bite. "I think I was. It was like as soon as I saw that article, something hit me, but I didn't know how big it was. It hit me when we were at the club house talking about it all. It was like an overwhelming pressure coming down around me that would crush me, but at the same time I was becoming numb and couldn't feel a thing. I tried to fight it." She looked at Opie. "I didn't want you to be so worried about me you wouldn't go see your family, so I pushed it back, tried to hide it." She turned to Jax. "Same with my call to Alice. I knew she'd worry when she saw me, but she'd worry more if we didn't talk on schedule, so I tried to push it away again. If I thought there was a chance you would have left me alone, I probably would have tried, though I doubt I could have held it off more at that point anyway.

"Between my nightmare last night and the article coming out, I was hit with a pretty big realization. The dream I had just now is the first time I've had a nightmare that wasn't a flashback or a memory. It was a fear I didn't even know I should have until today. That they could be looking for me, could find me, and what they would do to me if they ever did."

"Dani, you know—" Opie started but Dani stopped him.

"You can't guarantee nothing will ever happen to me. It already has. When I escaped, I spent a few months terrified that I would turn around and they would be there. But I realized eventually that I was no one, who got away from who knows where, and got off at a random stop in the middle of nowhere. I never saw anyone besides Alice, and that there, in that place I was safe. They would never be able to find me there, with her. And I was able to let go of that fear, which gave me more time to be scared of my demons, I guess. I was so focused on finding my home, my family, that when I got here, that I didn't realize I was giving up that security of anonymity. I realized today how stupid I've been to go around only being scared of what's already happened, when I already lived through it and survived, when the truth is, if they are looking for me, if they did find me and somehow managed to take me again, I'll die. If they're going to the trouble of looking for me, I can be pretty damn sure it's not to keep me as a-, a plaything... they're going to… to be looking for me to kill me, to make sure I can't talk, or identify anyone."

Dani reached for her water and took a long drink before she continued. "I know you both want to protect me, but you can't be with me 24 hours a day. If they did show up, I can't protect myself. I refuse to be terrified of being helpless when I'm alone or feeling smothered because someone is always watching over me."

"So what do you want to do?" Jax asked.

"I want, no, I need to be able to defend myself. I think for starters I should take up running, build up some endurance. If I am in a situation where someone is chasing me, I want to have a shot at getting away. I won't be outrun again." Dani took a breath and continued. "When I finally got free, that wasn't the first time I tried to escape, just finally worked that time." She recounted to them what happened when she was being moved, jumping from the car, running through the woods, getting caught. "I won't do that again. So I want to run so I can be faster, I want to learn to swim so that I won't hesitate if I have to jump in some water to get away. And I want to learn to fight." Both Jax and Opie began to object, but she hurried to continue. "Not to go on the attack, but if they get hands on me, I want to know how and where to hit them so it'll hurt the most, so they will let go. I just want to know enough for me to have a chance to get away." She paused for a moment summoning the courage. "I want to do more than to be able to defend myself though. I want to stop them."

Dani grabbed her journal and set it on the table. "I haven't been writing my feelings in here. This has everything I can remember about where I was held, the people who thought I belonged to them, the people who worked for them, and the sick fucks they brought me in contact with. Every face I remember is in here, the names I know, the things they told me…what they did to me. I thought at some point I would take this to the police, for their investigation. I realize though that y'all sometimes choose to handle situations without the police, so I'm asking you what to do with it. You can take it if you want, do what you have to with the information in there, I trust you with it, but… the thought of either of you reading this, knowing the details of what they did to me. It terrifies me, more than anything else. It will change everything. How you see me," she reached down and grabbed the messenger bag, "and so will this."

She reached into the messenger bag and pulled out a handheld camera. "This belonged to the man who carved up my back. Apparently, he liked to record his activities for future enjoyment. I really don't want you to look at this unless you have to. There is something on here that I didn't tell you about that night, about how I escaped. I told you he took a phone call and got distracted. He did, but I didn't run then. When he left the room, he set his knife down. I think he thought I was too weak to move. I took it, and when he came back in the room I stabbed him. I stabbed him a lot." She was staring at the table as she said this. "I won't pretend to feel bad about it, I don't. He deserved to die. I took the camera, and I took the knife," she reached into the bag and pulled out a long knife, setting it on the table next to the camera, "and I took this." She turned the bag over and dumped the remaining contents. Stacks of money tumbled out of the bag. When it was empty, she set the bag back on the floor. Jax and Opie stared at the contents of the table. "Tried to tell you I didn't need your money." She muttered the last part.

"How much is this?" Opie asked.

"It's how much you need to buy a person to torture and kill. Never counted it; knowing the exact amount my life was worth felt a little morbid. Look, if you decide all of this is something the club needs to handle, you have to be careful. These guys have money and they have power. I don't understand why, but so many men feel the need boast about how powerful they are while they are raping you. There are professors in that book, doctors, lawyers, a senator, a police commisioner, CEO's; people who can hide behind money and power and other bad people with money." Dani told him. "Well, that's it. That's everything."

No one spoke for several minutes. Finally, Dani stood up. "I can't look at any of this anymore. I'm going to my room." She picked up her glass and bowl and took them with her. No one tried to stop her. She stopped at the doorway and called out. "If you feel the need to watch what's on that tape, please don't do it here. I lived it, I don't need to see it." She went into her room and closed her door. She sat on the edge of her bed and quickly finished her dinner. She wasn't hungry, but ate it anyway, she hadn't eaten that day, and she'd been through a lot, she needed to keep her energy up, and if they didn't hate her by now, the two men she'd left in the other room would be extra attentive to her for a while.

If they didn't hate her. Even if they didn't hate her, could they stand to look at her once they read her journal? Would they treat her differently? Would Opie treat her differently? Would he decide it was too complicated to be with her? She sat there for what felt like ages. A couple of times she heard a loud noise like someone had thrown something or punched a wall, maybe. Eventually she heard a tap at her door, and it opened slowly to reveal Jax. He was carrying the messenger bag and set it on her bed. He gently grabbed the sides of her face and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. Dani could see eyes were red when he pulled back to look at her. She could see sadness, and hurt, but mostly love, and she felt an instant wave of emotion of her own. Jax pulled her up and wrapped her in his arms as she clung to him as tightly as she could.

"I'm so sorry, Dani." He whispered several times as he held her. When he pulled back she glanced at the bag and then back at him. "It's the money. It's yours, you might need it for something. The rest, we are taking to the club to decide how we will handle it. If we have it our way, we will find as many of them as we can, and we will make them pay." Dani nodded. She took the bag and put it back in the drawer where she had kept it.

Dani looked towards the door and then back at Jax. "Where's…" she trailed off.

"I made him wait his turn. Dani, you know none of that shit you put in that book was your fault, right?" he asked her.

Dani nodded, then shrugged. "Most of the time I do, sometimes I need a reminder though."

"I'll keep telling you then." Jax said, giving her another hug. "I'll send Ope in, but I'll be by early tomorrow so we can take care of some shit, ok?"

Dani watched her brother leave and sat back down at the end of the bed. After a moment she could hear Opie's footsteps walking closer. She looked up at him, her eyes full of questions she was too scared to ask. They just looked at each other a moment before he came closer and dropped to his knees in front of her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. Dani returned his embrace, tears welling up in her eyes at as her worries of rejection started to evaporate. Opie pulled back and looked up at her, his hands moving to cup her face. His eyes were damp as he leaned in to kiss her. "Baby," he whispered, "I swear, we will do whatever it takes to make you feel safe. No one will ever hurt you again."

Dani pressed her lips to his again. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

Opie shook his head. "That is not a promise, it is my solemn fucking vow." He pulled her close again and moved to stand, lifting her in his arms as he rose, scooting her backwards as he crawled into her bed, pulling her with him. "How are you feeling with everything?"

Dani sighed as Opie pulled her close and snuggled into him. "Relieved, scared, vulnerable, exposed, angry. Part of me wants to scream and smash the shit out of everything, part of me wants to just break down and cry, part of me just wants to focus on how it feels when you're holding me like this and not think about the rest of it."

Opie's hand stroked up and down her back. "You don't have to control how you feel like that all the time. Holding shit back, might seem like it helps at the time but shits just gonna explode later. So if you want to scream and break shit, break it. You want to cry, then cry. I'll still be here. Whatever you need, I'm here, baby."

"Tonight I just need you to hold me and tell me it will be better in the morning."

So that's what Opie did; he held her close and told her she was safe, and everything would be better tomorrow.