Chapter 3

As soon as his heart began to beat again, it started running as if chased by a pack of bloodthirsty Orcs.

He was here.

Bilbo watched as if in slow motion as Gandalf opened his little round door to reveal the face of his greatest heartache. Suddenly, the Hobbit couldn't hear, couldn't see anything that was happening in front of him, just that day, all could see was the day Bilbo had lost his one…

The air tasted metallic and smelled putrid with the rotting stench of death, although that hardly registered in the burglars' mind as he stared down through blurry eyes upon the near lifeless face of the one person he would, not only die but live for as well.

"Go back to your books, your fireplace. Plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued home above gold, the world would be a merrier place" was the last, bitter-sweet words given to Bilbo before all traces life faded from Thorin's eyes.

"Bilbo!"

The Hobbit was pulled from his grim musings by Gandalf's voice. He hastily stood up from his chair and determinedly pushed his feelings aside, he couldn't afford a break down right now.

"Yes, my apologies master Gandalf. I'm afraid I was lost in thought" it wasn't a lie. The wizard gave him a calculating look but didn't press the matter for that the Hobbit was grateful.

"This is Thorin oakenshield, the leader of our company" Gandalf introduced with a dramatic wave of his hand. Thorin raised an eyebrow at a, very nervous Bilbo, clearly unimpressed.

"So this is the Hobbit? He looks more like a grocer than a burglar." the king commented shrewdly. Though at the moment Bilbo was more concerned with the erratic behavior of his heart in his throat then Thorin's current opinion of him.

"Well, a good burglar never really looks the part do they?" the Hobbit asked rhetorically. Maybe If he kept talking then he wouldn't think and the less thinking he did the better off he, and everyone else, was.

"No, I suppose not" The king answered slowly before turning his attention back to the meddlesome wizard.

"Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find? I lost my way. Twice."

The old wizard looked more amused then sorry. Which didn't surprise Bilbo one bit. He looked around himself and realized that everyone else had filtered in from the dining room by now.

"Well, never mind that now. I'm sure you're hungry, there should still be some food left in the dining room" Bilbo shoot a look at the other Dwarves as if to say 'there had better be'. Thorin nodded at him and the Baggins lead the way into the dining room and put together a plate of ham, squash casserole and the last bit of blackberry cobbler. He remembered Balin once telling him that the king had a weakness for all things blackberry and if the way Thorin's eyes lit up was any indication, the old Dwarf had been right.

"My thanks, master Hobbit" Thorin murmured gratefully as he sat down.

Bilbo nodded at him and made his way to the back of the room, where his thought finally consumed him.

Death. As far as the eye could see. Hundreds of bodies of all kinds littered the battlefield, painting the air red with blood, you could still smell the fear on the breeze but all Bilbo could see was the cold, unmoving, face of his king. Tears still streamed down his dirt and blood covered cheeks but he paid them no mind, simply staring down into the lifeless eyes of the one he had so desperately tried to save. The one he had so desperately loved.

"-do not have the skill to find it but there are others in middle earth who can"

He couldn't help but think that if he had handheld things differently then maybe Thorin would still be alive. Maybe Fili and Kili would still be alive but he had failed them. Failed, failed, failed…

"-lbo? Bilbo!"

Bilbo looked up with a start.

"Yes?" Hastily whipping the wetness gathered around his eyes once again.

"Are you sure you're quite alright?" Gandalf inquired with a half concerned half suspicious look.

"Oh yes, I am quite alright master Gandalf I assure you. Now then what were you saying?" Bilbo tried to direct the conversation back to the matter at hand, he didn't want the wizard to think too much on his queer behavior.

"We were just discussing your part in our adventure, if you decide to join with us, that is," Balin answered this time.

"The wizard seems sure of your abilities as our burglar but the rest of us do not agree." Thorin put in, staring at the Hobbit with obvious doubt in his steel-blue eyes.

"Well I suppose that's to be expected, none of you have seen my abilities for yourself. All I can say in my own defense is that hobbits are remarkably quick on our feet and you would have to be an Elf to hear us when we want to go unheard." Bilbo shot back lightly as he stared down at the all too familiar map.

The Dwarves murmured amongst themselves, Gandalf smiled down at him, pleased with his words. It was refreshing to see his old friend smiling again, it felt like it had been much too long since he had last seen it.

The Hobbit knew that, despite his words of assurance, the only way his Dwarves would believe him would be to see his skills for themselves and since that wouldn't be for quite a while, Bilbo would have to find some other way to prove himself.

"If you decide to join my company I will try my best to watch over you, the same as the rest but I cannot guarantee your safety or life." Thorin finally announced matter-of-factly, staring the Hobbit down.

Blushing, Bilbo nodded along with his kings' words, for he fully agreed with them.

"I would never ask you to put your life ahead of my own nor would I ask you to put my life ahead of any in your company." he agreed.

"Bilbo, it's ill-advised to throw your life around with such carelessness" Gandalf reprimand lightly.

Maybe that would have scared him the first time but Bilbo had known the meddlesome goat for much too long to be swayed that easily.

"No Gandalf, it's not me being self-sacrificing just simply logical, I am a no-name Hobbit from a place half the creatures in Middle Earth don't even know to exist. I have no spouse or child nor am I especially important, even here. Master Thorin, on the other hand, is a king who is trying to reclaim his kingdom for his people, he needs to see this through to the end. His life matters more than mine. At least in this context" The Hobbit countered firmly

Gandalf looked miffed but let it be for now.

His Dwarves, however, looked impressed and taken aback at his words, like they didn't know what to make of him anymore.

"Balin, give him the contract to look over," Thorin said briskly, a strange look in his eye as he stared at the Hobbit. Bilbo barely stopped himself from squirming in his seat, although he couldn't quite stopped the blush still spreading over his cheeks.

Balin did as told and handed him the contract.

The Hobbit took the contract and walked into the sitting room, he made it appear as if he was carefully reading it over when in fact he was thinking of how on earth he was going to make it through the night without breaking. Already he had nearly started crying without even noticing.

"Well that seems to be in order then." he announced once he felt like he had been staring at the contract for long enough. He grabbed a quill and inkpot from a side table and wandered back into the dining room to stunned looks, well, except for Gandalf who just looked entirely too smug.

"I've been wasting away in this hole for long enough, I could do with a nice adventure," Bilbo said as a way of explanation.

He dipped his quill into the inkpot and signed his name with a flourish.

There was no going back now, the adventure had begun.