Chapter 5

"We will camp here for the night." Thorin called to the company as they came upon a run down farmhouse.

Bilbo gratefully got off his pony as the king called for Fili and Kili to watch the ponys, the Hobbit snorted under his breath, last time you'll make that mistake to be sure.

"I think it would be wiser to move on." Gandalf called as he inspected the house, "we could make for the hidden valley."

The Hobbit stopped listening, knowing how the argument would end, although he really wished Thorin could stop himself from agitating the wizard, though he might as well wish for the sky to turn pink for all the good it would do.

"Gandalf where are you going?" Bilbo called as the gray wizard stormed past.

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense," he answered as he continued to walk away.

"And whos that?"

"Myself mister Baggins! I've had enough Dwarves for one day." And just like that Gandalf was gone. Good job Thorin.

Night had fallen upon the company now, with Gandalf still nowhere in sight. Bilbo knew he was coming back, but he still couldn't help but worry.

"Mister Bilbo! Do us a favor and take these to the lads," Bofur called out. The Hobbit sighed, knowing what was coming but nodded nonetheless, taking the bowls and making his way over to Fili and Kili who stode with their backs to him completely unmoving.

"What's the matter?" the Hobbit asked in exasperation.

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies" Kili started

"Only we've encountered a slight problem," Fili went on

"We had sixteen now there's fourteen." the brunette finished darkly. You'd almost think they were twins with how they talked. "Daisy and Bungle are missing," he went on, now walking around where the ponies were supposed to be, Bilbo following along still holding the princes' supper in his hands.

"Well that is not good, and that is not good at all," the Hobbit said needlessly as they came upon an upturned tree. "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"U-uh, no, let's not worry him," Fili answered shakily, obviously fearing his uncle's wrath. "As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it," he finished, a pleading look on both brothers' faces. That might have worked on the Hobbit last time, but there was no way he was going to be facing those trolls alone.

"It looks like something big happened to these trees, something very big and possibly quite dangerous," Bilbo observed.

"That was our thinking. Look! There's a light," Fili whispered, peering through a gap in the trees. The three of them walked closer, careful not to stray too close before crouching down behind a log. They heard the distorted sound of voices.

"Trolls," Kili said dramatically while standing up and running closer his brother right behind.

Bilbo rolled his eyes before getting up and following the two idiotic princes. The three of them quickly ducked down as one of the trolls tumbled past, carrying a pony under each arm.

"He's got Myrtle and Minty," the Hobbit whispered, concerned, despite himself, for his pony. He sighed, "i think they're going to eat them. We have to do something," he whispered to the brothers." Bilbo raised an eyebrow at the pair's surprised faces before rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you should," Kili agreed, trying to push Bilbo toward the Trolls, but the Hobbit was not having it.

"Now hold on just a moment. I said we should do something, and i meant it! You lost them, so you are going to going help me get them back, and feel lucky I'm helping you at all," he finished sternly, putting the bowls on the ground. Fili and Kili blinked at him in surprise.

"Fili, go back to camp and tell the others, but wait a few hours before coming back. Bring rope when you do," the Hobbit ordered. The blonde looked like he wanted to protest, but one look from Bilbo had him on his way.

"Now Kili, we're going to wait here for a bit until almost sunrise, and then i'm going to go and distract them while you free the ponies. Once they're free, find Fili and the others and tell them…"

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer," said one of the Trolls loudly, startling Bilbo and Kili awake, they had apparently dozed off while waiting for dawn.

"Never a blinking bit of manflesh have we had for long enough," said a second, while the Hobbit and Dwarf quickly got into position, knowing they must not have much time left.

"What the 'ell William was a-thinkin' of to bring us into these parts at all, beats me, and the drink runnin' short, what's more," he said jogging the elbow of William, who was taking a pull of his jug.

William choked, "shut yer mouth Tom!" he said as soon as he could. "Yer can't expect folk to stop here forever just to be et by you and Bert, anyways we 'ave here fresh Nags don't we?"

Bilbo took that as his que and lept out from the tree line, startling the three Trolls.

"Hello." he greeted cheerfully.

William got up at once, grabbing Bilbo by the neck, "Blimey Bert, look what i've copped!" exclaimed William.

"What is it?" asked the others coming up.

"Lumme, if i knows! What are yer?"

"Bilbo Baggins, a Hobbit," he answered as politely as he could with the hand on his poor throat.

"A Hobbit," said they, startled. Trolls were suspicious to anything new to them.

"Can yer' cook 'em?" asked Tom predictably.

"Yer can try," answered Bert, picking up as skewer.

"He wouldn't make above a mouthful," William commented.

"Yes, yes, you are absolutely right. Anyway, i'm afraid we Hobbit are highly poisonous if eaten-" the rest of Bilbo's sentence was cut off as he was abruptly dropped at the mention of being poisonous.

"What is yer doin' here anyways?" Bert asked, now more suspicious than ever.

"I, uh, I couldn't help but overhear you were cooking mutton, and i must say you've got the seasoning all wrong," the Burglar said, looking off to the other side of the camp, seeing Kili carefully leading the four ponies away from the Trolls camp.

"Seasoning? What 'bout the seasoning?" William inquired indignantly.

"Well, if you truly want to bring out the flavor, you must use more than simply salt and sage." In all honesty Bilbo had no idea how to properly cook mutton, but he just needed to stall for a little bit longer. "Besides, you're cooking it all wrong. While a stew is nice, the best way to go about it is roasting."

Bert grabbed the burglar by his legs, and once again Bilbo was lifted into the air.

"Whats'a Hobbit know 'bout cooking mutton anyways?" he asked with an ugly scowl.

Bilbo looked toward the tree line and saw Kili perched high in the branches of an old oak, bow at the ready. Fili, Thorin, and the rest of the company stood below, rope in hand. The Hobbit smiled. "I'm terribly sorry gentleman, but i'm afraid i must be on my way. Now!" He shouted the last word and was immediately dropped to the ground as arrow after arrow shot at the three Trolls from the trees, forcing them to huddle together in the center of the camp. Then the rest of the Dwarves came charging in with a fierce yell, quickly looping the rope around the Trolls feet and pulling tight, causing them to immediately fall over in a large heap.

"Dawn shall take you all!" a voice shouted from above. They all looked up to see Gandalf standing tall upon a boulder. He lifted up his staff then brought it crashing down, breaking the rock clean in two and showering the camp in morning sunlight, instantly turning the Trolls to stone.

"Perfect timing, as always, Gandalf," Bilbo called from where he was still lying on the ground. The wizard smilled.

"Bilbo! Are you alright?" asked Fili and Kili simultaneously, as they rushed to the Hobbit's side.

"I assure you i'm quite alright," the burglar reassured as he dusted himself off. The concern the brothers showed really was heartwarming. He found it hard not to tear up.

"A good thing too. It would have been your heads if he had been harmed," Thorin reprimanded as he stalked over. The princes bowed their heads, guilt clear on their faces, but Bilbo was not having it.

"Now, Thorin i think you're being a bit harsh. Would you rather it were them that had been taken by the Trolls?" the Hobbit asked with a stern look and a raised eyebrow. The king narrowed his cool gaze on Bilbo, an odd look in his eyes that the Burglar couldn't quite place.

They stared each other down for a few moments before being interrupted by Gandalf calling them to inspect the Troll hoard. Thorin was the first one to break eye contact, stomping away towards the cave.

Bilbo rolled his eyes, walking in the direction of the cave himself, leaving Fili and Kili staring at his retreating figure with awed looks on their shocked faces.

"What is that stench?" Fili wondered aloud as the company descended into the filthy confines of the cave.

"It's a Troll hoard. Be careful what you touch," Gandalf called back, walking further in.

It didn't take long until most of the company was coughing horridly due to the foul stench, but it was well worth the suffering as the Dwarves quickly discovered chests of gold coins all about the cave.

"Seems a shame to just leave them lying around, anyone could take it," Bofur commented with a sideways glance to his fellows. Bilbo snorted in amusement, instantly regretting it as the stench hit him head on, and he started coughing again.

"Agreed, Nori get a shovel," Gloin called.

The Burglar shook his head, wandering deeper into the cave where Thorin and Gandalf had gone. He saw the king pick up two spiderweb and dust covered swords from the hoard.

"These swords were not made by any Troll," Thorin muttered to the wizard next to him.

"Nor were they made by any smith among men," Gandalf commented as he took one of the blades from the king's hand, inspecting it shrewdly. "These were forged in Gondolin by the high elves in the first age. You could not wish for a finer blade," he added as Thorin had started looking at the swords with disgust as opposed to the reverence they deserved.

The king glanced sideways at the wizard before taking the blade out of its sheath to inspect it further.

Bilbo sighed at Thorin's stubbornness, watching the king's back as he went to the mouth of the cave, sword in hand, calling for them to hurry up and leave the foul place. The Hobbit did not like that idea, for he hadn't even the chance to look for Sting as of yet. Just then he felt a tap on his shoulder. Bilbo turned to see Gandalf holding the very blade he had been thinking of.

"Here, this is about your size. It is an Elvish blade, which means it'll glow blue when Goblins or Orcs are nearby," the wizard smiled down at him as he took the Sword in hand.

"I've never used a sword in my life," Bilbo lied.

"And i hope you never have to, but if you do remember this; true courage isn't knowing when to take a life but when to spare one." That advice would stay with the Hobbit for the rest of his days. Bilbo nodded with a small smile, happy to have Sting in his possession once again.

"Something is coming!" Thorin suddenly yelled from outside the cave. Both wizard and Hobbit rushed out, though Bilbo knew there wasn't any real danger.

"Stay together," Gandalf ordered as they met up with the others. "Arm yourselves!"

The company quickly huddled together with poor Bilbo stuck in the middle, not even bothering to pull out Sting.

And, sure enough, Radagast the brown broke through the trees on his Rabbit-pulled sleigh, screaming bloody murder for all the world to hear.

"Radagast," gandalf sighed in part relief part exasperation. "Radagast the brown," he finished, walking over to his fellow wizard.

"What on earth are you doing here?" The grey wizard asked

"I was looking for you Gandalf," the haggard wizard answered.

Bilbo didn't listen to the rest of their conversation, choosing instead to head over to the newly rescued Myrtle, hopping on the pony quickly, knowing that the real danger was only moments away.

"Oi! Mister Boggins, what are you doing?" Fili asked with a raised eyebrow as he walked over.

"Oh!, i, uh, i just have this bad feeling that we're soon going to get away in hurry, i've learned to listen to my instincts," the Hobbit finished with a quick smile, hoping the young prince would believe his poor excuse.

It seemed to have worked because a moment later the blonde mounted his own pony, calling for his brother to do the same.

"What are you two doing?" Bilbo wondered cautiously, having not expected for anyone to have copied him.

"If there's one thing we have learned from the Trolls, it's that we can trust you," Fili began as he checked his saddle bag to make sure everything was still there.

"So if you say you've got a bad feeling then we believe you," Kili finished with a wide smile but Bilibo had no time revel in the amazing trust that was being placed upon him by the two princes for just then they saw a warg, growling dangerously as it came stalking over a hill before rushing towards the company teeth barred as he charged straight for Thorin, quickly meeting it's death at the end of the king's blade. Another came jumping through the trees right at Bilbo but it to quickly perished thanks to Kilis arrow.

"Warg scouts, that means an Orc pack is not far behind," Thorin called.

"Who did you tell about your quest beyond your kin?" Gandalf demanded.

"No one," he answered venimently.

"Who did you tell!" Gandalf shouted once more.

"No one i swear! What in Durins name is going on here?"

"You are being hunted," the wizard answered darkly.

"We have to get out of here!" Dwalin called, already atop his pony.

"I'll draw them off!" Radagast declared

"These are gondaven Wargs, They'll out run you!" Gandalf called back.

"And these are roscavell Rabbits, i'd like to see them try," he retorted with a smirked

The rest agreed to the Brown wizards plan and quickly mounted their steeds, hiding out of sight while Radagast drew the Orc pack away from them

It didn't take long for Radagast to lure them away and the company wasted no time in riding off in the opposite direction, which Bilbo noticed just happened to be towards Rivendell, though he decided against mentioning this to anyone else.

Despite the brown wizards best efforts, it didn't take long for the Orcs to catch sight of them and were soon closing in on the company, since they were on they ponies, Bilbo knew they wouldn't be able to duck in the hole beneath the rocks so he could only hope they could out run the Orc pack long enough for the Elves to come to their aid.

"Come! We must ride with haste!" Gandalf shouted needlessly.

Bilbo could hear the foul Orcs shouting in their native tongue from behind as they rode as quickly as their poor ponies could carry them. 'Although it might be all for not' the Hobbit thought as the pack closed in around them.

"Kili, shoot them!" The young Prince did as his uncle ordered though it seemed quite fruitless with so many Orc ladden Wargs converging in on them. Suddenly a horn blow in the distance as arrows rained down upon the pack of Orcs. 'just in time' Bilbo let out a sigh of relief as he saw the platoon of Elves, Each atop a beautiful white horse, riding over the hill to save them.

A/N: sorry it took me a bit longer to hash this one out, anything action-y really isn't my strong suit.

Good Smaug: 1

Bad Smaug:0

-Dork