Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of the characters.

Gingeraffealene: It is pretty much just all random.

Blue Jean: Ask Morgana for one. You'll have to find her first, though.

This is getting harder and harder to write. There are two people who regularly review this but aside from that I have no idea what everyone else thinks. If I could get some PMs that would be all right as well.

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "What? ' Welcome to the Setup Wizard.' Why is this a wizard? There is nothing even remotely magical about it!"

"Clearly the solution is to ride Aithusa over to Microsoft headquarters and complain about it."

"Ooh, Merlin, I would like that."

Merlin pictured Morgana on top of Aithusa pointing at her laptop while screaming "This isn't a wizard!" at panicked Microsoft employees.

"On second thought, you would have way too much fun."

"Merlin, you want to go to Japan real quick for some sushi?"

"Sure."

Morgana looked at Jacob. "Your arm's better? Oops, I may have made it heal too fast."

"I have a different problem. My mom made this 'herbal remedy' and now she won't shut up about it. She thinks she did this."

"I do happen to know a thing or two about 'remedies' that don't do anything. Merlin kept having to bring them over to me."

"She's desperately trying to sell it to our neighbors and wants me to talk about how it healed my arm. It's so embarrassing. I'd actually rather have the broken arm."

"This is what Merlin means when he talks about me causing more problems than I solve sometimes." She sighed.

"Anyway, are you ever a witch on Halloween?"

"I am a witch on Halloween. And every other day of the year."

"I mean do you get a costume?"

"I know what you mean. My dresses from Camelot pass as costumes. Historically accurate ones to boot."

"Hey, did you see the news story about the guy who somehow ended up in a dumpster holding a gun?"

"Someone tried to rob me yesterday. Also yesterday someone tried to convince me the Earth is flat. Can you believe it? When I lived in Camelot most people thought the Earth was flat. Gradually more and more people realized it's not. And now we have people who say it is."

"Don't they say we've never been to the moon?"

"Yup. We have, I've seen the American flag there. The moon isn't very interesting. It's basically a big rock that's either too hot or too cold. I don't get why Merlin wanted to stay for longer."

"Well, there's the bell. Put your homework in the basket, please. The entire point of this unit is that I'm supposed to teach you how to critically analyze historical documents to separate fact from fiction. The problem is that all the documents I was supposed to use for fiction are actually fact. Look at the worksheet that's supposed to go with this."

Sylvia began reading. "Analyzing historical documents. What does the document say?" She glanced at the document. "It looks like it's about you conquering Essetir. The worksheet says 'List three explanations for the events described in the document that are more plausible. Then, write down what you think the most likely explanation is.' Oh, I know what the most likely explanation is. But I want to hear it from you."

Arthur sat on his throne while Gwen's was empty.

Morgana sat next to him. "Where's Gwen? I guess I'll fill in as queen."

"Go be queen somewhere else. That's Gwen's throne."

"That's a great idea, Arthur!" Morgana teleported away.

Arthur was hit by the realization of what he said. "Wait!" But it was too late.

Gwen walked in. "What?"

"I have to be really careful what I say to Morgana."

Morgana appeared outside Essetir's castle. She barged into the throne room and dumped all the guards she encountered into a pile in the corner. "Get up. I'm queen now."

Lot's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"Arthur gave me the great idea that rather than being queen of Camelot, I should go be queen somewhere else. I think here will do."

"You can't just barge in here and take over!"

"Yes, I can." She floated Lot's crown onto her head and walked over to the training grounds. "As queen of Essetir I declare that if there are any upcoming invasions, they are all cancelled."

Lot arrived. "You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can."

"Uhh, Your Majesty, I missed the wedding."

"I got this crown from a takeover, not a marriage."

"Give it back!"

"I'll tell you what, if you can pull the crown off my head, you can have it back."

Lot failed to pull the crown off and fell over backwards.

"Is this a joke to you?"

"Yes."

Morgana shouted from a balcony. "People of Essetir! I am your new queen!"

"She is not!"

"As queen of Essetir I would like to announce that I am going to make all the garbage at the garbage dump disappear. Seriously, that thing is sooooo smelly. How does anyone manage to live next to it?"

"Long live the queen!"

Morgana appeared in front of Arthur. "Where did you go?"

"Essetir."

"Morgana, you can't just barge in there and take over!"

"Yes, I can. Hey, that's what Lot said!"

"Imagine if word gets out to other kings that my sister randomly takes over other kingdoms. They won't be very happy. I need to let Caerleon know that you aren't going to single-handedly steal his crown."

"Aithusa can do it!"

Arthur facepalmed. "Oh, yeah, sure. I might as well send you, too, while I'm at it."

"That's a great idea, Arthur!"

"Wait!"

"I'd like to see the rest of the worksheets, actually," Adrielle said.

Sylvia rolled her eyes. "Of course you would. You do math for fun."

"Hey, I know you want to see the worksheets too."

"You got me."

"Here's the pile," Morgana said.

"Extracting truth from fiction. Read the following document. Why might 'Witchfinder' have been a profession? Who might have written this document, and what motivations might have existed for inserting fiction into it?"

Morgana snickered. "I read it. It's all true."

Arthur and Morgana were taking a stroll when the Witchfinder pointed at Morgana. "There! She has magic!"

Morgana rolled her eyes. "Congratulations. What an impressive display of skill. Now what can I help you with?"

"Your Highness! That is some strong magic. She must be very powerful. I advise you deal with her quickly."

"I guess I should deal with her. Morgana, are you finding everything all right in Camelot?"

"Why yes, I am. Much better than my hovel. Thank you for asking."

"She is a witch!"

"I know, I'm also still having trouble processing it. First I find out she's my sister, then I find out she's a witch."

"Are you going to do nothing about it?"

"What can I possibly do about it? I just have to live with the fact that my sister is a witch."

"There is only one penalty for magic."

"There are zero penalties for magic, actually. Where have you been for the last five years?"

"In other kingdoms. The stench of magic here reached me from very far away. And it is ridiculously strong coming from her." The Witchfinder gasped. "Are you telling me you legalized magic?"

"Why yes, he did. That means he won't sentence me to death for doing this."

"For doing what?" The Witchfinder suddenly felt something on his ears. He reached for his ears to find that worms were spilling out of them. "Your Highness! Will you put up with this?"

"I put up with this all the time. One time I reached to put my arm around Gwen and she put a skeleton there instead."

"Arthur, I didn't know you were capable of screaming that loudly."

"Wait, but with magic free, surely Camelot would be in ruins? No, it's not possible. No good can come from magic."

Morgana stared at Arthur.

"As much as I hate to admit it…" Arthur paused.

Morgana smirked.

"What is it, Your Majesty? Are you enchanted? Tell me!"

"Magic has been…"

"Come on, Arthur, say it."

Arthur sighed. "Very beneficial to the kingdom."

"Aha! You said it!" Morgana squealed with glee.

"I hate you, Witchfinder."

"Motives behind inaccuracies. What motivation might someone have to write that the fictional character Sir Gwaine steals magical objects?" Sylvia read.

"I do hope you enjoy your stay in Camelot," Arthur said.

"Now let's see, where did I put it?" Morgana said.

"Your Majesty, your sister seems to have misplaced something."

Arthur grimaced.

"Your Highness, surely it cannot be that bad. Now, my lady, what did you lose? A mirror?"

"Arthuuuuur. Do you remember where I put the Cup of Life? I can't find it anywhere!"

"You can't just leave that lying around! Imagine what someone could do with it!"

Somewhere else in the castle Gwaine scratched his head. "I wonder what happens if you put beer in it instead of blood?"

Percival thought for a moment. "Maybe we get drunk immortals?"

"Let's go ask Merlin."

"If beer has been in this cup, you won't get drunk if you drink it. Great, I know I made a mistake telling you that. I feel like Gaius now," Merlin said.

"Now, Gwaine, we should put it back. I don't fancy being caught by Morgana with her stuff," Percival said.

"Didn't you hear him? We can drink as much as we want!"

Morgana caught Gwaine in a storage room in the middle of pouring a bottle of beer into the cup and back again.

"What have you two got to say for yourselves?"

Percival shook. "The funny thing is, Gwaine, I'd rather be drunk right now."

"What I've got to say is… care for a drink, my lady?"

Morgana narrowed her eyes.

"Well, it was worth a shot. You can have it back! Getting drunk is half the fun, anyway."

The witch slipped a fomorroh into Gwaine's neck. "I'll let you off, Percival, I know you're only here because of him. Now, Gwaine, you will put on this dress, take Arthur's crown, and scream 'I am queen of Camelot'."

"So, basically, I'll be you?"

Gwaine snatched Arthur's crown and shouted in a very high-pitched voice. "I am queen of Camelot! Now, I must proclaim it to the people, but first I must spend three hours deciding what dress to wear. It's a good thing I'm hopelessly in love with Merlin, he can choose for me instead, actually."

Arthur sighed. "I don't know if he's enchanted or if he's just being Gwaine."

Morgana rolled her eyes. "Apparently, the fomorroh doesn't stop him from being cheeky."

"The fomorroh?"

"Relax, I'll take it out. Ugh! He's even enjoying his punishment. Arthur, I want him to leave my stuff alone. What if next time he gets killed?"

Gwaine gasped in mock surprise. "Morgana! I didn't know you cared. You're only pretending to hate me!"

Gwaine was promptly electrocuted.

"Jacob, about your arm, tell your mom that it's healed not because of her, but because of me. But don't tell her how."

"Oh, good idea."