Sorry, this isn't a real double update. I hope you enjoy it anyway. I found another excuse for Morgana to tell stories.

"Happy birthday, Morgana! You know how you were always complaining about how King George was obnoxious and you wanted to rip the crown off his head? Well, I bought it off the museum so you could have the last laugh."

"Thanks, Merlin!"

"Wait, where are you going? You aren't teaching today, right?"

"I'm going to visit some textbook authors."

Morgana teleported in front of a man sitting on a bench sipping a coffee.

"What… how…"

"You wrote a textbook which mentions King Arthur, correct, Mr. Stevenson?"

"Correct. But the King Arthur legend is merely used as an example of documents that clearly do not depict actual historical events."

"They do."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Morgana."

"Really? Oh, I have so much to ask you…"

"Let's go visit the man who wrote the textbook with you."

"Mr. Roberts, you wrote a textbook together with him, did you not?"

"HELP! IT'S A WITCH!"

"Calm down! We've been learning history all our lives and never had this great an opportunity! This is Morgana Pendragon!"

"Morgana Emrys, actually. I'm married."

"Easy for you to say! You weren't the one who wrote that she was a lunatic!"

"Oh, I must have skipped that part. Don't worry! I'm not angry! I'm just here to say that you two did an absolutely terrible job covering King Arthur."

"Can I ask you questions?"

"Sure. Ask away."

"We're going to die!"

"Was Essetir really absorbed into Camelot?"

"IT'S MORGANA! RUN!"

"Those are some of Camelot's bandits. There aren't that many of them, but it could be better. I'm working on it."

"What's that? Is it going to eat us? I don't want to die!"

"That's my friend Aithusa! Don't worry, she won't eat you!"

"Morgana! I told you not to greet the visitors!"

"That's my brother Arthur! He's the king."

"So, in Camelot, the king's commands are more like suggestions? Interesting."

"You get the idea!"

"This is exactly why I don't want you greeting the visitors!"

"Anyway, he's not that interesting, so moving on. Would you like to go to Camelot's beach?"

"Morgana! Freya is not a tourist attraction!"

"Not that beach, silly! The other beach!"

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Just how long has Camelot had this other beach?"

"Since yesterday. It wasn't that hard. I just put in a big lake and some sand. The people love it!"

"And who was kind enough to donate all the land for this beach?"

"Some bandits. They had a stronghold there."

"The one that borders Essetir?"

"That's the one!"

"So is half of this lake in Essetir?"

"Yup! They have a beach too!"

"You can't do that!"

"Why not? I'm queen of Essetir now."

"You can't be queen of Essetir and live in Camelot!"

"Fine. I'll hand Essetir over. I declare Essetir to be part of Camelot."

"I don't want another war!"

"The people of Essetir won't mind. They're enjoying their new beach and the fact that they aren't being robbed by bandits."

Arthur turned to the visitors and sighed. "I wasted so much time learning about politics from my father. She's making it all so utterly useless."

"She's a great tour guide! Not only does she teleport us everywhere, bandits run away screaming from her!"

"Arthur, for someone who just received an entire kingdom, you seem very grumpy. What you need is to go to the beach with us! Let's go to the beach, everyone!"

At the beach, Arthur buried his face in his hands.

"You know you won't get any sun on your face that way, Arthur!"

"This is a very interesting kingdom, actually. I'd love to live here!"

"Terence! Don't you have any questions for her?"

"Can I go home?"

"The dragons, they were real as well? And did one of them breathe apples at one point?"

"You bet!"

"I present you with a statue of your queen!" Arthur exclaimed.

Some people pulled the cloth off a statue.

"That doesn't look like Guinevere. That looks like Morgana wearing a crown!"

"Are you giving up the throne to your sister?"

"MORGANA!"

"All right, all right! I'll change it back!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Don't you have someone else to bother?"

"Actually, yes, I do!" Morgana teleported away.

"Gwen! What have you done?" Arthur asked.

Morgana began petting Kilgharrah on the head.

Kilgharrah woke up. "Do not pet me for your amusement!"

"I'm just waking you up in case you feel like killing me!"

Kilgharrah tried to breathe fire at Morgana but apples came out. She snickered.

Arthur saw Kilgharrah chasing Morgana in the sky breathing apples out of his mouth.

"Gwen, this is why it is best if she just bothers me."

"If you are married to Merlin, why is it written that you killed him with a sword?"

"Oh, that one's wrong."

Kilgharrah landed in front of Arthur.

"Great, so a dragon is going to make my job as a king more complicated."

"You cannot harbor Morgana within your walls. She is destined to betray you."

"Oh, come on. That is ridiculous! She has saved my life countless times." Arthur ignored the dragon.

Arthur opened a door to find Morgana running Merlin through with a sword, a malicious grin on her face.

"Morgana! How could you? I thought you'd changed!"

"Arthur! This isn't what it looks like!"

Merlin pulled the sword out. "Well, Sire, I'm it."

"You're it?"

"We were watching some children play tag, and wondered if magic would make it more fun. Unfortunately, Morgana decides to deny it when I finally touch her."

"No, Merlin, it's you who won't admit it when I catch you!"

"So we decided to use this sword instead. It's pretty hard to lie about if you have a sword through yourself or not."

"I thought she betrayed us, but it looks like instead you two are having way too much fun with the whole immortality thing. Carry on."

"How about the document saying you were a terrible example of how to be a lady?"

"You'll have to be more specific."

"The one where you carry a head around."

"Still not specific enough."

"Ah! Some snakes were also involved."

Merlin presented Morgana with a bouquet of snakes.

"For me? Oh, Merlin, how sweet!"

Arthur sighed. "I blame Morgause. Her creepiness definitely rubbed off on you."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Why couldn't I have a normal sister?"

"Because that would be sooooo boring!"

"I agree, Sire, she's a handful."

"No, Merlin, a handful is something you can successfully contain in your palm. Morgana is so many handfuls that everything spills and it makes a gigantic mess."

"Oh! I am insulted. My own brother is saying I'm a mess."

"Why did you have to be a witch, of all people? Why couldn't it be Gwen?"

"I love being a witch! It's so fun!"

"It's great having you around. I get to be dead on the inside instead of dead on the outside."

A snake jumped out of Morgana's hair and slithered on Arthur's face.

"Get it off! GET IT OFF!"

"Aww, Arthur, he likes you!"

"I have a kingdom to run!" Arthur put the snake back into Morgana's hair and walked over to his throne. He attempted to sit down, but it moved, causing his butt to hit the floor.

"MORGANA!"

A man was aiming a knife at Arthur from around a corner when Morgana pinned him to the wall. "You have made the mistake of trying to kill my brother."

Outside the castle a little girl and her parents were looking out the window.

"Queen Guinevere and Lady Morgana are good role models and examples of the ladylike elegance I expect you to conduct yourself with when you grow up."

Morgana strolled past the window with a bouquet of snakes in one hand and a man's head in the other.

"Umm, just Queen Guinevere, actually."

"But Daddy! I want to be like Morgana!"

"And the invasions… it's all true? Even the one where they get stuck in trees?"

"Of course!"

"All right, Gwaine, I'm off for date night with Morgana."

"So you'll deal with the invading army tomorrow, then?"

"Well, Gwaine, Morgana's my wife. Taking care of the invading army is her idea of a romantic activity."

"We'll strike during the night, and that will give us the element of surprise," one of the soldiers said.

Morgana spread her arms. "Surprise!"

"Where did those two come from?"

Merlin began arranging the enemy soldiers into half of an enormous heart shape.

"Hey! I can't move my arms!"

"Aww, Merlin, that is so sweet." Morgana finished the heart shape.

Morgana began lighting up the trees by floating several glowing soldiers into each tree.

"This is humiliating! Stop it at once!"

"Well, the alternative is I light you on fire."

"On second thought, this is perfectly fine."

"Not what I would have done, but it looks great, Morgana!"

"Thanks!"

"One problem, the view isn't that great."

"I can fix that!" Morgana made a pile using the remaining soldiers. She and Merlin walked up it.

"Still not so good," Merlin said.

"Do we get reinforcements soon?" the soldier Morgana was standing on asked.

"Yes, but I fear they won't be much help."

"They won't be much help? What are you talking about? They'll be a lot of help!" Morgana said.

When the reinforcements arrived Morgana stacked them on top of the pile.

"This is perfect. You can see Camelot's castle from here!"

They kissed.

"All right! You can leave now if you like!"

"We came to fight!"

Morgana froze several boulders above the army. "Well, if you insist, we can fight. You sure? You all were so helpful, it would be a shame to kill you!"

The army fled.

"Thank you for your help! If you'd like to invade again, please stop on by!" Morgana waved at them with a smile.

They didn't.