Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of the characters.

"I do remember a very strange law I read about. Was there really a law against feeding someone a beehive, or did I read it wrong?"

"He did actually do that."

"Gwaine, what are you doing?" Leon asked.

"Loading a catapult," he replied.

"All right, my question is who you are aiming at, and for what reason?"

"I see the knights of Camelot are hard at work." Arthur was passing by and stopped in front of Gwaine.

"Your Majesty! Do not speak of my duty in that way! I am driving back a vicious enemy that has already breached the walls of Camelot!"

"What enemy would that be?"

"Boredom."

"Boredom? Do you know of a different Camelot that doesn't have Morgana in it?"

Leon spoke up. "In my defense, Sire, I was trying to talk Gwaine out of what he is doing."

"And how is that not a waste of time?"

"Point taken, Sire."

"I was aiming at our good friend Merlin."

Arthur sighed. "Hasn't Merlin had enough tomatoes thrown at him in this lifetime?"

"Yes, but he was expecting it."

Leon suddenly tensed. "Gwaine, are you aware of what will happen if your aim is very slightly off?"

Gwaine launched the bucket of tomatoes. "No, why?"

Leon and Arthur sprinted away, leaving Gwaine alone with the catapult.

The bucket sailed through the air over Gwen's head…

"Come on, my aim isn't that bad! She's nowhere close to where I was aiming!"

...and landed with a splat in Morgana's hair.

"Oh."

Morgana flew down a hallway floating a pile of tomatoes behind her. She saw a suit of armor twitch slightly.

"What are you up to?" Gwen asked.

"Oh, you see these decorative suits of armor we have around the castle?"

"Yes?"

"Arthur doesn't feed them enough, the poor things. They'll starve to death. Especially this one right here."

Gwen raised an eyebrow.

"Help me, Gwen," the suit of armor said.

Gwen sighed. "I do think it is the suit of armor's fault that it finds itself in this situation, unless the bucket of tomatoes threw itself over my head."

Morgana lifted the helmet off and slammed the pile of tomatoes into Gwaine's face. "I agree. I wonder if this is enough. It could still be hungry."

"That should be enough."

"Thank you, Gwen," Gwaine said.

Gwen did a very dramatic eye roll. "I thought the knights should be saving us, not the other way around."

"I find myself more in the role of the damsel in distress these days."

"Really? Damsels in distress don't tend to be quite as boastful as you are."

"My apologies, Your Majesty. My training did not include the proper etiquette for being a damsel in distress. I was only taught how to swing these pointy metal sticks that we never use anymore." Gwaine drew his sword, sending splattered tomatoes flying everywhere. "We were told the ladies needed our protection. She doesn't count as a lady, of course."

Gwen facepalmed.

"Uh, I mean in that she doesn't need protection, that is."

"Next time I'm force feeding him a beehive."

Arthur walked in.

"Your Majesty! Shouldn't there be a law against force feeding someone a beehive?"

Arthur turned to Morgana.

"What? Why would you just assume it's me who…all right, fine, I won't."

"There are more important laws for me to make. Such as a law against turning the king invisible right before he is to host a banquet."

Morgana shrugged. "You know such a law won't do you any good."

"Come on, I am a king with dignity!"

"What? A king with dignity? I will not stand for this! The rightful king of Camelot is my brother Arthur! What have you done with him?"

"Very funny, Morgana."

"I try."

"I also was confused by a writing from King Arthur supposedly about one of your evil schemes, but it turned out to just be a suggestion box."

"Oh, that."

Arthur came across Morgana holding a wooden box. "What's that?"

"It's a suggestion box. You write a suggestion and place it in the box."

"Why did I not hear of this?"

"I may have told George to let you sleep in the day I announced it."

"Oh, come on!"

"It's had a while, so I'll read the suggestions. Let's see. 'Could we brighten up the kingdom a bit?' Sure, why not? It could use some flowers here and there."

"Maybe these aren't so bad."

"'This kingdom should have better treatment of handsome subjects who are named Gwaine.' Hmm. Do we have any?"

"Don't think we do."

"'Cenred is getting bolder and has forgotten where the border is between Essetir and Camelot. I suggest one of those giant snakes takes him for a ride across the whole border so he remembers where it is.' Oh, that's a good one."

"Ok, I am beginning to be afraid of this box."

"'Ban love enchantments.' Hmm, I do not like those either."

"That is actually a good suggestion."

"'Have another knight tournament but everyone fights with a giant fork and spoon.' See? Wasn't this a great idea, Arthur?"

"I do admit that would be funny."

"How about this one? 'Camelot is too soft on criminals. Put Morgana in charge of the dungeons.'"

Arthur grabbed a torch and attempted to light the box on fire.

"Judging from the surviving writings, the king really blamed you for everything, did he not?"

"Pretty much."

Morgana watched Arthur's round table bounce around the room. "Now this will be entertaining." She quickly returned it to its original position upon hearing Arthur.

"Morgana, what did you do to my boots?"

"What?"

"My boots. They aren't where they should be."

Morgana sighed. "How did Merlin put up with this? Where did you last place them?"

"With the rest of my armor like I always do. It wasn't you?"

"If you see your boots walking around the castle, go ahead and blame me, all right?"

"I did put them there. Maybe George moved them." Arthur found George. "George? Have you seen my boots?"

"You most likely tossed them in the corner again as you always do when you're drunk, Sire."

"Ah, did I?" He walked over. "I did."

"You can't blame magic for everything, Arthur. Next thing you'll be telling me I made your sausages disappear because you can't remember you ate them."

"All right, there are some things that happen around here that are not your fault. Come, Gwaine, Leon, let's go."

"Isn't the meeting cancelled for our banquet to celebrate the king finding his boots?" Gwaine quipped.

"All right, all right, come on." Arthur sat down. "Queen Annis has sent a messenger with a formal alliance treaty. What? Where is our table going? MORGANA!"

"Now that one I take full responsibility for."

"How many times did Arthur have to reclaim his kingdom? He said 174 times?"

"Well, some of those don't really count."

Arthur, Morgana, and Gaius sat together at a banquet.

"In Uther's day he would say that the ruler of the kingdom is the one who defends its people. He would always say, what is a kingdom if its ruler is not willing to do so?" Gaius asked.

"All right, Arthur, I am conquering this kingdom. Hand over your crown."

"Oh, woe is me. My kingdom has been conquered."

Gaius chuckled. "Of course, by tradition the son is to take the crown."

"I'm reclaiming my kingdom." Arthur pointed his sword at Morgana.

"Ah, what can I do? Here you are."

"I suppose if you asked around there would certainly be more support for Morgana to be queen."

"Hmm, the will of the people should not be ignored, should it? I guess I have no choice. Give it back." Morgana snatched the crown.

"Yet His Majesty is more educated on affairs of state."

"Quite important. It is I who has no choice. I must rule for the good of the kingdom," Arthur said in his snootiest voice.

"His sister has managed to, shall we say, break the usual conventional wisdom around such matters." Gaius placed a lot of effort into not snickering.

"Or maybe not quite so important. I'm retaking the kingdom." Morgana made a big show of slowly shoving Arthur into a wall before taking his crown.

"However, the subjects are accustomed to life under Arthur."

"Ah, they're already familiar with this. Can't go taking that away from them." Arthur gave the crown a spin in the air before placing it back on his head.

"Change isn't always a bad thing, though Uther has always told me otherwise. For example, the repeal of the ban on magic."

"We could use some change around here." Morgana once again took the crown.

"But we need a responsible ruler, one who can ensure her dragon friend doesn't snore near anything flammable," Gaius continued.

"That was one time!"

"Looks like it's my kingdom. I'm the more responsible one."

"This kingdom is lacking in stability recently if it has changed hands more times in the last five minutes than in the rest of my life," Gaius said.

Morgana turned towards Arthur and shrugged. "I guess we just can't win."