Hard Rock Tips

"Demo!" Branch was a mess. He didn't sleep at all the night before it drove him to the brink of panic hearing from Smidge that Poppy had gone on a Gal Pal Getawaycation with Val and Holly. Without saying goodbye!

The rock manager nearly dropped the guitar he was carrying, having them piled up for the next Val Thundershock concert. Demo wasn't expecting a visit from the pop troll, or anyone else's, from what it was possible to observe by his poor state of undress.

"Hey, Branch. What's up?" He asked, searching for his pants to cover the white briefs.

"Sorry," Branch quickly apologized, but he was freaking out too much to return when Demo was decent, so he continued speaking, completely ignoring his friend's attempt to get dressed. "Anyway, I need advice." He blushed and completed, "girl-wise."

"Oh… trouble in paradise?" Demo smiled smugly at him, intending to get on his nerves.

"Paradise turned into hell pretty quickly." Branch groaned and pulled his hair. The ripped couch dipped when he sat down, helpless. "I don't know what to do."

"Ok…" Demo said slowly and approached his friend with the best intention of offering good help. "... use your words. I'm kind of lost here."

"Well…" Branch's ears went red when he realized he had to speak things he wasn't comfortable voicing out loud. But he desperately needed help, so… "Poppy is mad at me and I suppose it's because… we're… I sort of stopped making out when she was very… interested in continuing it."

Demo's jaw dropped.

"Why - The HAIR - would you stop if the lady was willing?!" Unbelievable!

"We were drunk!" Branch defended himself. "She wasn't in the right mind to make a decision." Did he mess up? Was it really that bad? "She could regret it later." Withdrawn and second-guessing his choices, Branch suddenly regretted looking for help. Figuring it out on his own sounded more effective.

"Awww… you're worried about your performance." Demo clasped his hands together.

"What? No!" Well, he wasn't, until it was mentioned. Now Branch was wondering about his lack of experience as well. OK, deep breaths. "I'm concerned about our future together."

At that, Demo stopped small chuckles to completely pay attention to what Branch was saying.

"Are you guys quarreling or something?"

"No," the survivalist lurched forward, rubbing his face and holding back any sign of despair. "I've wanted to cuddle with her and... eat ice cream together since I realized she was the one I loved, but…" his stomach churned, "she's always happy and looking on the bright side of things while I'm down to earth and rational and… I'm afraid I'll choose the same chocolate flavor in the long run when she's pouring sprinkles in bananas, trollsberry, and marshmallow-flavored ice creams that will make my glycemic level go high just by watching it, do you know what I mean?" He'd disappoint her. And drive himself desperate enough to go back to the past, fix it again and start an endless loop of rebooting their lives until he made it work.

"Oh… wow…" Demo scratched the back of his neck, obviously buying time to find the right words. It made Branch even more resigned. "Can't you see how happy Queen P is when she's with you?" Branch's ears flicked up at that. "Look, I don't know what is going on inside your head or how you manage to sink into this vortex of self-doubt, but from what I see Poppy glowing when she's with you."

A fathom of a smile tugged his stubborn lips up. Poppy's smile always seemed to make him feel better, even when it was a mental image of it.

It was true that she was always gleeful when they were next to each other. And she forced herself to understand him even in his lowest of moods. Hence the book and the wine before they started making out.

"You need to let your guard down, man." Demo continued, "you can't be responsible for her constant state of happiness." His words made sense and it was ridiculous when it was spoken by someone else in such an obvious way. "Even because happiness is a moment. It passes. The fun in it is trying to reach that moment again. Sometimes one troll can taste chocolate and the other like marshmallows and they can still be amazing together."

There was a beer can on the floor right between his aquamarine feet. Branch hadn't seen it there, the same way he was on the verge of a breakdown and he didn't see what Demo had so matter-of-factly pointed out.

Moments. He had to reach for happy moments, not a subjective, ideal, and ever-present state of happiness. Even Poppy was allowed to feel depressed sometimes. All he had to do was to be there to hug her better. Like she did for him.

Why was it so scary to imagine Poppy sad? And worse, sad because of him?

"Look past those ghosts, man." Demo tapped his shoulder playfully. "Now, for some performance tips…"

"Oh, fudge."

"No, really." Demo insisted. "If you want to nail it, like… make it really unforgettable for Queen P, you must top the others."

As if panicking wasn't enough, Branch felt something snap inside of him.

It seemed he was floating in a vacuum. Everything was blank, aseptic, and static for a moment that passed too fast and lasted an eternity.

To top the others…

It never occurred to him that Poppy could have had someone before him.

Hair! Did she do something with Creek?

"I mean, you lived in a hole for years, you must have missed all the mating seasons."

"I'm sorry!" Branch stood up with a halt. He jumped from the couch so fast he knocked a guitar several feet from him. "I suddenly remembered I need to go check the bunker. Bye."