Chapter 7

Uryuu opened the door to Ichigo and his large suitcase. He gave him a pat on the back and led him to the guest bedroom. There wasn't much to be said, at this point. Both figured that with time things would speak for themselves. Ichigo here alone with clothes for weeks was enough of a message. Uryuu said something about dinner being ready soon, and Ichigo muttered a thank you. Uryuu nodded, and left promptly, leaving Ichigo in the guest bedroom alone.

Ichigo shut the door, and opened his suitcase on the floor. Uryuu was always a simple man, opting for minimalist décor, which Ichigo currently appreciated in his temporary room. He kneeled onto the floor and began to slowly unpack. It was Inoue's idea to be apart for a bit of time. A week after the fight they had on the couch, she had become exhausted.

Ichigo couldn't help but replay the scenario in his head. She looked miserable, and Ichigo couldn't deny the quiet resentment emanating from her. And his son, oh god, he thought, as he covered his eyes with his hand and sat back onto the floor. Kazui was too young to understand the why, and so fixated on the what. The way he cried when Ichigo was leaving shredded his heart.

It was inevitable, thought Ichigo. Inoue wasn't a fool, as Ichigo swallowed the newfound guilt of being unfaithful… the whole time, according to his wife. He took a shaky breath out. What did he do, he wondered, the last time he had fucked up this bad? He searched his memory and let out another sigh.

Rukia would absolve him, that's what.

Uryuu gently opened the door and found Ichigo sitting on the floor in despair.

"Dinner's ready." He said.

"Thanks." Ichigo said, slowly standing.

They sat across each other, and Uryuu began to eat. Ichigo poked around the food he had gathered on his plate, which wasn't very much.

"Do you need me to feed you?" Uryuu asked.

"Maybe," Ichigo replied with a scoff, "I don't have the appetite… let alone the will to live."

"Hm." Uryuu said, "Were you always this dramatic?"

Ichigo shot Uryuu a look, and Uryuu laughed.

"You're not going to work like this, right?"

Ichigo sat back with a sigh. "I guess I shouldn't."

Uryuu nodded. "Your misery might make people sicker, actually. You're quarantined. Free room and board."

"What a forgiving landlord," Ichigo said sarcastically, finally taking a bite.

Uryuu was quietly relieved as Ichigo began to eat.

Inoue woke by herself again this morning. Her chest ached incredibly, and she wondered if she would come out of the next year alive. She took a few breaths, trying her best not to cry should Kazui run into the room and see it. Inoue climbed out of bed, bypassed the ring on her night table and retreated to the bathroom. She drew a warm shower, and decided that here was the place to cry.

As the water drained beneath her feet, she felt her chest heave. How unfair, she thought, the time and effort spent on somebody who could never have felt the way she did. How unfair, she thought, that even though she knew all of this… she couldn't stop loving him. She turned off the shower, and climbed out, patting herself dry. A glance in the mirror and she saw the hours of crying and missed sleep in her face. Inoue sighed, nothing a little make-up couldn't hide.

Inoue found Kazui sitting on her bed.

"Mommy," Kazui said, looking up at her. "Daddy still hasn't come home?"

Inoue mustered the gentlest smile she could. "No, not yet."

Kazui took a moment to read his mother's face, and then turned to his hands, where he fiddled with a little toy superhero. "What if he doesn't come back?"

"You'll see him again, darling. He's always your dad." Inoue said.

"Will you get back together again?" Kazui asked.

Inoue pulled her son into her arms. "I don't know," she began, "But I'm just as happy with you around."

Kazui returned her hug.

Rukia and Renji returned home in silence this evening. It wasn't entirely friendly, Renji noted, looking down at his petite wife. He learned the difference between her silences, and when Rukia was irritable it was hard to ignore. Ever since she received the task of speaking to Ichigo about limiters, her mood slowly worsened. Renji excused himself to prepare dinner as Rukia had mentioned she had some reports to finish over the evening.

"I can make dinner," Rukia said, glancing at the clock and mindful to pick Ichika up from extra curriculars.

"Don't worry about it," Renji said, placing a hand gently on Rukia's back, "You focus on your getting your work done."

Rukia shook her head, "Really Renji, it's fine, I'd rather have something edible for dinner tonight."

"Oh, you don't like my cooking, is that it then?" He poked, watching as Rukia shifted herself in front of him before the open fridge.

"Yes," Rukia said plainly.

"Let me at least help it go faster," Renji said.

"Just go, Renji." Rukia said as she pulled out a few ingredients.

Renji had a temper of his own, too. "I know when I'm not wanted."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What it means." Renji said, walking away.

"This doesn't have to be a fight."

"You're right, it doesn't. But lately it feels like I'm pulling teeth just to get a conversation out of you." Renji snapped back.

"Maybe there are things besides work to talk about, Renji."

Renji glared. "You probably haven't realized it, but we've barelybeen talking. It's all been one-sided, and work is the only thing I can think of because it's the only thing you'll answer! The rest have all been lies, Rukia."

"Lies?" Rukia asked.

Renji took a pause, half aware that he was now letting his emotions get the better of him and the other half just exhausted of walking on eggshells. "How are you, Rukia?"

"I'm fine-"

"Lie." Renji interrupted.

"Renji."

"You're so good at putting up a front- in front of your colleagues, in front of your brother, in front of Ichika- do you ever put it down? I'm your husband, for fuck's sake."

"You don't get to tell me how to act." Rukia exclaimed, now focused on the fight.

"You're right, I don't. My opinion doesn't matter to you, Rukia. It's always about what you think is right, or what you think should be done – it doesn't matter what I want."

"What do you want then, Renji? We don't have to fucking fight every time you need something. If you want something just ask!"

Renji and Rukia shared a tense stare.

"I want my wife back." Renji said.

Rukia looked at him in confusion.

"Why haven't you gone on that mission to see Ichigo?" Renji asked.

He was met with silence.

"Rukia, the briefing listed it as high priority, why haven't-"

"It's not your business," Rukia interrupted.

"It's not my business?" Renji asked sarcastically, "I'm your husband, Rukia. In fact… if this was 'just business', you would have completed the task by now, it's been a month!"

"I've got other things on my plate."

"Bullshit." Renji replied. "You don't want to see Ichigo because you know he's in love with you."

Rukia looked at Renji in shock.

Renji laughed, "Don't look so fucking surprised. I'm not as much of an idiot as you think I am."

"Renji, that's not-"

"You know what, save it. I'm tired. I'm going to go get Ichika." Renji said. "The fact that it bothers you that much is enough of a fucking message."

"You're full of it! The fact that you told him that we weren't to see each other was way over the line already, and now this? You don't trust me." She asked, following him to the door.

Renji stopped at the door, halfway through. "I love you to death, Rukia." He turned to face her. "But part of loving you means that I can't just stand by and watch you lose composure around another man."

At this, he left.

Rukia stood frozen in the kitchen. She stared at the front door, now closed. The words they exchanged hung in the air, impossible to ignore and somehow louder in the silence. She picked up the kitchen knife, deciding that if she was going to dwell on the speculation that Ichigo Kurosaki still loved her, she could be productive while she did it.

What if Ichigo still loved her? It's not like he'd do anything about it, she decided. She tried but failed to ignore the interaction they had months earlier during their last conversation returning to memory. His behaviour suddenly made sense, his questions, his stares.

"Shit!" Rukia exclaimed, dropping her knife onto the cutting board and pulling back a bleeding finger.

She let out a sigh, as she applied some pressure to the cut. Stupid thoughts of stupid Ichigo, she muttered to herself, as she went on the hunt for a band-aid. She toyed with the idea of using kido to heal the cut, and laughed. She wrapped her finger delicately, and suddenly remembered the times she'd grabbed his hand to drag him to missions, to heal him, to knock some sense into him. She looked at her hand, and drew it to her chest.

She sat on the floor, glancing at the clock, making sure that the rest of her family wouldn't be home while she took a moment to just… think of him. She felt her heart began to race as thoughts of him flooded her mind for the first time in weeks. The missing returned, there was no love, Rukia reassured herself. She missed Inoue just as much, she told herself. In fact, she wondered how her friend was fairing. Never mind that, she cleared her throat. She stood and straightened her clothing, determined now to finish preparing the rest of their dinner.

Renji and Ichika returned to dinner prepared on the table. Their daughter excitedly crossed the room to give her mother a hug, complaining that her father was late to arrive. She climbed onto one of the seats and took a sip of her water. Rukia sat at her designated seat, and Renji sat across her, argument still fresh in his mind.

"I considered what you were saying," Rukia began, once a few minutes had passed after Ichika's story about her day completed. "I think I'll meet him at some point in the week."

Renji felt his stomach turn. "About time."

They tucked Ichika in and Rukia reassured her that she'd pass along a greeting to Kazui for her. They shut the door gently behind them, and Rukia watched as Renji made his way to the living room.

"You're not sleeping with me?" Rukia asked.

Renji stopped, and Rukia fell in step behind him. He turned and finally looked at her.

"It's just a formal meeting," Rukia said, grabbing his hand. "Nothing's going to happen."

Renji held her face gently, "We don't know that."

Rukia looked up at him with the violet eyes he loved so dearly, and at one point, almost accepted would never cast a glance at him the way he'd imagined. "I know it. It'll be quick, and simple, and I'll never have to see him again."

"Are you comforting me, or are you reassuring yourself?" Renji asked.

Rukia glared. "Don't you trust me?"

Renji looked to the side, "That's not it," he began, "I'm not sure I had a chance in the first place."

"Renji-"

"Night, Rukia."

This particular morning, Ichigo decided to try jogging. He didn't typically go out of his way to exercise, finding that shinigami training sufficed. But recently, Uryuu shot his unwashed sweatpants, disastrous room and self-destructive habits with a disgusted glance. Much like a married couple, they argued.

"Ichigo, you do realize I keep my house neat to a certain extent."

"I realized," Ichigo replied, having chosen to nest himself on the couch in front of the TV, wrapped in the throw blanket with a feast of junk food in front of him.

"Can you take your misery to your room?" Uryuu asked, picking up his keys. "I understand your life is in shambles, but you don't have to infect me too."

Ichigo glared, aware that Uryuu meant well, though he still struggled to properly convey it. "Don't stare too long, it'll infect you by the eyeballs."

Uryuu let out a frustrated sigh, "It's hard to breathe when the air is just full of you being a little bitch."

"Hey!" Ichigo sat up to whip a pillow at his friend.

"At least go back to training, something."

Ichigo easily caught the pillow that was whipped in return. "I don't really want anything to do with her, right now."

Uryuu frowned slightly, "then why not try something new?"

So Ichigo decided to jog. He knew all about its benefits, and it's not like he didn't have the physique to withstand at least half an hour of the exercise. The roads were quiet this Sunday morning, and he felt a sense of pride at being awake early enough to enjoy the morning sun in his solitude. Pride being the closest thing to a new emotion he had felt in a while.

He stretched a little and began his pace. The weeks moved incredibly slowly, he and Inoue had seen each other everyday, making sure to have dinner with Kazui together, still sharing duties as much like before as they could. Kazui seemed to settle on the idea that although his parents were apart, they weren't going to disappear completely, no matter how difficult it was came time for Ichigo to leave.

Ichigo had risked asking Inoue when he could come back, and his wife only shook her head quietly. He understood, and while they barely said anything beyond what was necessary, that evening, Ichigo decided to apologize again. Inoue nodded, and shut the door just the same.

So that's where he was, now catching his breath at a street corner. He didn't really know where to go from here. He didn't want to think about what would happen if she never let him come home again – and why would she? He didn't want to think about having to explain to everyone what happened, though he was good at dodging such questions in general. He didn't want to think about the fact that maybe, it was easier this way.

He picked up the pace again.

Easier that he didn't have to watch her fall apart. Easier to avoid faking the fact that he was thinking of another woman from time to time. Easier to not have to consider her feelings. Ah but the guilt nearly swallowed him whole, most nights. The idea that maybe he wasted her time, that maybe Kazui was a product of a desperate attempt to forget the fact that he felt this way for Rukia Kuchiki, still… after all this time.

Inoue opened the door to a familiar face, to which she put on a smile.

"Orihime," Rukia said kindly, "It's been a while."

"Kuchiki-san," Inoue said, out of habit. She chuckled as Rukia made a face at the remark. "I didn't know you were around."

"Well, I had a few errands to run, and realized we hadn't seen each other in a while."

Inoue shut the door as Rukia stepped inside, taking off her shoes and making her way to the living room as usual.

"Errands?"

"I have to talk to Ichigo about a limiter, speaking of which, is he at work?"

Inoue realized that very few knew about the situation. "I think he went for a walk; he hasn't mentioned a shift for this evening."

"Ah, classic Ichigo." Rukia sat, pulling out a box of sweets for Inoue, who gratefully took it. "How's Kazui doing?"

"He's at soccer right now, but he's the same kid he's always been." Inoue smiled, wondering why she felt so incredibly uncomfortable.

"That's good," Rukia said, leaning back to make herself comfortable. "I won't be long, I just wanted to stop by."

"How's Ichika?" Inoue asked, glad to hear that Rukia wasn't sticking around.

"The same, glad that she actually enjoys school so that's the least of our concerns." Rukia began, "She wanted me to tell Kazui to practice his kido so they can finally learn trickier spells."

Inoue smiled, "I'll pass it along."

Rukia noticed Inoue's awkward demeanour, but decided she didn't have time to comment on it – nor did Inoue seem to want her to stay a second longer. So, she pulled out her phone, pretended to receive a message, and stood promptly. "I've got to go," Rukia said, smiling at Inoue, "It's really nice to see you, Orihime."

Inoue smiled, standing with her and escorting her to the door.

"Are you going to look for Ichigo now?"

"Yes, and I'll make sure he brings you some flowers." Rukia smirked. Inoue let out an awkward laugh at the statement.

"See you, Kuchiki-san."

Inoue shut the door and placed a hand on her chest. It took all of her strength to avoid crying, and all of her composure to prevent herself from lashing out at Rukia. It was her fault, she wanted to scream, she took him from me. She began to cry, and her chest began to ache, she had just begun to get used to the idea of gaining herself back, Rukia's visit was just another reminder of what she lost.

Suddenly her mind travelled to the idea of Ichigo wrapping his arms around her, and she ached. Among the other aches, it didn't seem so bad but only because she couldn't tell, being so used to the pain. He never looked at her that way, in the grateful, empowered way Ichigo looked at Rukia. When he looked at her, it was almost as if she made his world make sense.

If he never came back then good, she thought, she didn't need him, she didn't need this pain – but oh god, she still loved him, still… after all this. Inoue fell onto the couch, seated slightly forward, one hand on her mouth and the other clutching onto the fabric. She wanted him back, oh how she wanted him back.

Ichigo turned a bend and found himself at his house, and spotted Rukia casually making her way from the building. His heart stopped.

Rukia stepped onto the street and wondered where to find Ichigo, she decided to use her senses to-

"Ichigo?" She asked, as she turned towards the direction of is reiatsu. She spotted him on the other side of the street, and locked eyes with him.

Ichigo, for some reason, decided to turn around to go home. He realized that it had been months since they'd spoken, and didn't want to see her face – not here, at least, in front of his childhood home, where the rubble of his marriage lay waiting for a conclusion.

"Hey!" Rukia exclaimed, jogging after him.

Ichigo was always faster, with his long legs and stamina. He broke into a fast jog, aware that Rukia was following him. The last time they spoke he couldn't stop himself – flirting, staring, pining… always with the fucking pining, he thought to himself.

Rukia always loved a challenge, and for a moment, she had forgotten the purpose of her visit. She allowed him to pretend as if he didn't see her, and enjoyed the brisk jog. Once she had had enough, she shunpo-ed ahead of him, forcing Ichigo to stop.

"Don't pretend you didn't see me," Rukia said, only to be cut short once he met Ichigo's tired eyes.

"I didn't." Ichigo said simply, catching his breath as he wiped his brow.

"You look terrible," Rukia remarked.

"So do you," Ichigo said, looking past her, intending to start his jog again.

"Hey – wait a minute-"

"What do you want, Rukia? Does Renji know you're here?" He felt his skin prickle with jealousy, he could barely look at her, deciding instead to look past her as if waiting for someone to pull him from the situation.

"What does Renji have to do with this?" She looked at him incredulously.

Ichigo stared back coldly, waiting for her to answer his questions.

"I'm here because the captain commander wants your limiter to be activated at all times."

"Okay, I'll talk to Urahara." Ichigo replied, glad that it ended quickly. He didn't want to stay any longer, not in the façade of small talk and camaraderie. It was no longer enough; it had become too much.

As Ichigo passed Rukia, she stopped him, hand on his chest.

"Hang on, what's going on with you?"

"Get your hand off of me, Rukia." Ichigo said in a low voice.

Rukia obliged, unfamiliar with the tone.

"Was there something else, or are you done?"

Rukia glared up at him, challenging his cold stare with her heated one. "What the fuck is your problem?"

You, he wanted to say. You and how you show up randomly, whenever you want, dragging him through nostalgia he didn't know he was subconsciously looking for in every waking moment of his life- "Nothing." Everything. "Was that all, Kuchiki-taichou?"

Rukia, suddenly severely disliking the respectfulness of his words, stepped back, irate. "No, that wasn't everything, Kurosaki."

Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Get into your shinigami uniform."

"What?"

The follow-up question prompted her to grab him by the shirt and teleport them to Urahara's shop.

"Let go of me!"

Rukia stormed into the dusty store, nodding at Urahara who was seated in his den, flipping through channels, as she passed the halls into the cavernous training grounds. She proceeded to whip Ichigo onto the ground.

"Your shinigami uniform," Rukia repeated, as Ichigo dusted himself off.

"Fine." He said. At this, Ichigo left his body aside, and stood towering before her.

Rukia smirked, she stretched her shoulder, and sent a fist flying. This, she decided, would be easier than acknowledging the excitement of seeing him, easier than acknowledging how attractive he was in his uniform, and the undeniable attraction she had to the angst permeating about him. She didn't want to imagine that he was missing her, because that would complicate things, despite terribly missing him. A simple match would do - what she had considered to be their classic greeting.

Ichigo easily blocked her attack with a hand, but failed to prepare for the blast of kido blowing him away immediately after. Rukia followed after him, and poised to land another punch. Ichigo dodged swiftly, disappearing from her sight. She looked around, and quickly pulled up her sword to block his.

"You want to spar? We can fucking spar."

Rukia laughed, backing up to create space between them. She put her fingers before her lips and began to mutter, unheard. Ichigo easily dodged the binding spell, sheathed his sword mid air and landed behind her. She spun, sword in air, and Ichigo deflected using his sheathed sword. Rukia glared at him, throwing another blast of energy his way. Ichigo took the blow, unable to properly run due to its urgency. Rukia shunpo-ed away to create distance. Ichigo followed.

They met across the cavern in hand-to-hand combat. Ichigo dodging effortlessly, Rukia matching his pace with ease. Another blast of kido and Ichigo chose to dodge, but before he could notice, another came barreling towards him, Rukia following closely. He jumped, and met Rukia in the air, where she landed a kick with almost all of her strength.

Ichigo began to fall, and quickly righted himself upon landing. Rukia triumphantly joined him on the ground, and crossed her arms in pride as she watched him dust his robes.

"Are we done, Kuchiki-taichou?"

The statement caused Rukia to snap. She quickly crossed the distance between them, grabbed him again by the collar and pulled him down. "What the fuck is going on with you?"

Ichigo decided to bite. "What's your problem? Showing up with no fucking warning and expecting me to be okay with it? I've got a life, Rukia. You said yourself that that's what I should be doing." He grabbed her hands and lightly pushed them off of his chest. "You grab me, and just take me wherever the hell you want, and I'm expected to just follow along?"

"I don't need attitude for doing my job-"

"That's the thing, it's just a job for you, you have no clue what's going on with me, what's going on in my life, you just show up and-"

"You think I want to be here-"

"No!" Ichigo interrupted. Rukia looked at him, bewildered.

"… Here for something like this?" She finished.

"You don't want to be here, something this small you can text me, something this small you can send Renji – something this small you could have just said to me on the damn street and left. Why, why the hell am I in this pit again, with you?"

"Ichigo-"

"No, shut up. I-" Ichigo placed a hand on his head, "I'm done."

"No," Rukia said, "This isn't about my visit, is it?"

Ichigo looked at her with a look she had never seen before, the same tiredness in his young face that she had noticed earlier with… disappointment?

Ichigo looked at her, and finally accepted the reason behind his anger was the gnawing at his chest, the aching he got when they met eyes. The same violet that brought him so much comfort for so many years, now brought pain.

"If you're done with me, I'm going home." Ichigo began to walk away, his third try.

Rukia watched him walk towards her, the exit being behind them at the other side of the cavern. She began to panic, at what point did she fail to read him? At what point did Kuchiki Rukia fail to understand what Ichigo Kurosaki needed?

He passed her with a light touch, robes brushing against the other.

"Get it together, Kurosaki." Rukia attempted.

Ichigo paused, back towards her and turning his head slightly to look at Rukia. "That's exactly what I'm trying to do."

It took all of Ichigo's strength to walk home. His body ached, he hadn't eaten for hours, and by the time he arrived at the Ishida residence, it was late afternoon. He opened the fridge, having no appetite but knowing his body needed it, he drank a protein shake then promptly climbed into the shower. He watched the water pool around the drain, head somewhere else.

In all of this pain all he could think of was: damn, how beautiful. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back. Remembering Rukia's practiced stances, smooth movements, summoning spells with ease. Her art, refined. She fit her role so well, her responsibilities seemed to be made for her, as if being captain were her birthright. That was all, though. Ichigo said, heart steeling over as the final conclusion swept over his soul: he should do what's right. What potential he saw years ago had no meaning, just Rukia supporting a soldier of her beloved government.

He turned the shower off, and grabbed a towel. He should fix his marriage and should just wait for the feelings to pass. It occurred again to Ichigo that Inoue may not want him back, he paused, processing the revelation and decided that if that were so, it might be the better alternative. After all, who would want him back?

Sleep was difficult in a way. It was a welcome respite from the waking guilt, but at times full of dreams of a woman he couldn't have. Especially worse on nights where they had interacted. Tonight was no exception, in his dreams they were spending a summer evening training by the river near his home. Rukia on her tenth lesson about hollow strategy, and he had requested that they stopped for the day unless she wanted him dead by boredom. She would glare, the way she always did, and concede. She would smack him on the back for a job well done, though not outright said, and they'd amicably walk home.

Ichigo woke with a deep breath. It wasn't very often that the dreams woke him in pain, but this one did, strange, he thought, given its simplicity. He lay in the dark, eyes wide open staring up at the ceiling as his chest ached on. Would it be easier if he said it aloud? He had maybe thought of the existence of love itself for her but that's where he stopped.

I love Kuchiki Rukia, he said to himself.

No single person has ever caused him this much suffering, and no one should be allowed to, he thought defensively. And at the same time, she should be the only one to do so. He flopped over onto his side. There wasn't much to do about the emotion. Rukia didn't seem fazed by their time apart, save for her usual worrying, she didn't seem to clue into much else.

I guess I'm always the only one suffering, Ichigo thought. He scoffed, imagining that Uryuu would say: "You're no martyr."

Rukia arrived home. She stood at the front door, unsure if she wanted to enter, to face Renji and explain. There was no infidelity, but why did it feel that way? She placed a hand on her chest, urging her heart to calm, urging her mind's eye to set aside the mess of emotions surging from her stomach, and what could only be called yearning from her soul.

The door opened before she could do anything else. Renji looked at her in a strange knowing, eerily calm and collected. They shared the couch, a pot of tea between them. Rukia shared the details of her visit, and left out no detail. Renji quietly listened, as he always did.

"Anyway, Urahara is aware of the orders, and is working with Ichigo to activate it."

Renji nodded simply. "Were you curious at to why Ichigo wasn't at home?"

"Was there reason to be?" She asked, as she sipped her tea.

Renji shrugged, and placed his cup onto the table. "As you know, we're keeping track of reiatsu activity in high density areas."

"You don't need to explain, Renji, I'm well aware of it." Rukia laughed.

"Ichigo hasn't been living at home," Renji said.

Rukia looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Ichigo and Inoue have been apart for nearly a month." Renji said. "I was curious about why the captain commander suddenly asked about the limiter, and wondered if there were some weird fluctuations or something that cued him to send a captain to discuss the matter."

"That old bastard."

"He knew, in all likelihood, about the changes." Renji said.

"Inoue lied."

Renji looked at Rukia for a moment, preparing himself for her reaction when he said, "Why wouldn't she?"

Rukia felt her heart race and her face heat up.

Renji stayed quiet, allowing Rukia to soak the information in. "I'm going to bed." He stood, and briskly crossed the room to the stairs. He couldn't bring himself to look at Rukia, instead settling his eyes at the top of the stairs. He would share the bed with her tonight, he thought, counting it as potentially the last time she'd ever have her that close again.