A/N: Here's chapter 12. Again, I'm always surprised by this fic's following especially when you take into consideration this was spawned for nothing more than shits and giggles.
Paradox Effect
Summary: Dying sucked. Dying and being killed by the same teammate again? That sucked even more. Dying and being thrown back into Blood Gulch as a girl? That REALLY sucked. Now, Leona Church will have to put up with Tucker's perverted looks, Caboose's stupidity, and worst of all, Tex's laughter…
*Chapter 12*
Sarge walked alongside the canyon wall with a sniper rifle in his hands, humming a cheerful tune he made up about the unbearably painful demise of his least favorite subordinate. "I just wish that Grif was dead, put a bullet through his head."
It was a fantastic day. Grif and Donut were back at base far away from him and Simmons was doing whatever the hell he did. Sarge forgot what the maroon soldier's job was. He even ordered him to disassemble and reassemble the Warthog for no particular reason at all apart from to keep him busy for a few hours so Sarge could sit back and enjoy a beer while he read a magazine he stole from Grif's room.
He squinted when he saw movement in the distance, frowning under his helmet. "Huh. What in Sam hell is going on out there?" He looked through the scope of the sniper rifle to see what was going on and his sense of murder began to spike. Those damned Blues were up to something again.
Church and that mean bitch in black they once had as a prisoner were busy talking with some man in tan and white armor. No doubt the bastard was sent to aid the Blues and lead them in an attack that had yet to happen.
Sarge's finger crept into the trigger guard of the rifle and he stopped himself. He shook his head in disgust at his actions. A sniper rifle was a coward's weapon. He wanted to be looking at the whites of his opponent's eyes so the son of a bitch knew who it was that beat him to death. Plus it gave him the chance to use some really zippy one liners. One of his favorites was, "I hope you brought your wallet, because the rent in Hell is paid in advance!"
But it would never beat his ultimate finisher. "You just got Sarge'd."
He lowered the rifle and called Simmons on the radio. "Simmons? Simmons! Come in, Simmons!"
"Sarge? What's going on?" Simmons asked worriedly. "Are we under attack?"
"No, private. We're going to be leading a glorious charge in the name of the Red Army! Bring the Warthog and the ordnance in the back of it," Sarge ordered. "We're going to end this war, here and now. Over and out."
He held his position until Simmons arrived with the Warthog, stopping the vehicle just below him. Simmons waved to him below from the driver's seat. "Sarge! I'm here!"
"Good." Sarge grinned and leapt down. He landed with a thud, peering to look in the back of the Warthog. As ordered, Simmons brought the ordnance with him. He always did know how to follow orders, unlike Grif.
"Sir, what the fuck is going on?" Simmons asked as he got out of the vehicle. He was only carrying a handgun, by no means an appropriate weapon to use for a surprise attack on the Blues.
But in the back of the jeep was the perfect tool of destruction. It would easily take care of their little blue problem. Loud, explosive, and guaranteed to destroy anything it hit.
Sarge scowled under his helmet and looked at the Blues in the distance. Those dirty, rotten, no good backstabbers! How dare they get a special operative's support before Sarge could get one of his own to dish out brutal justice in the name of the Reds! Damned traitors!
"Simmons," he said with a growl, picking the weapon up from the back of the Warthog and offering it to the maroon private. "Take this here weapon and fire a warning shot at those pesky Blues. And that other guy, too."
Simmons looked at the weapon he was given skeptically. "Um, sir? This is a rocket launcher."
"Goddammit, private. Just take the damn shot," Sarge ordered with a glare.
Simmons let out a defeated sigh and aimed the explosive weapon at the Blues. From this distance, they wouldn't know what hit them until it was too late. "Yes, sir."
He aimed his rocket launcher at the Blues in the distance and fired off both rockets. Sarge watched as they soared towards their targets, completely ignorant of the immense pain and death that would be sure to follow in the next few seconds.
"Heh. Win for us. Suck it, Bluetards!" Sarge propped his feet up and waited for the explosion.
"So, let me get this straight. The guy in charge of the special forces program you two were in sent you out to kill my girlfriend and steal her AI," Church said slowly, making sure she heard everything York told her correctly.
"That's about right." York shrugged. "The Director's pissed off at Tex for breaking out and stealing Omega. So, who better to turn to than someone who he thinks harbors thoughts of revenge against her?"
"Surely the Director knows that you would turn on him first chance you got," Tex said, stroking her chin in confusion. "Why the hell would he want to take that risk?"
"Fuck if I know." York shrugged again. "All I know is that we have to find the Alpha. Is it here?"
Tex started to stare at Church and York followed suit. Both Freelancers were looking at her intensely and the blue haired woman put her hands up. "Hey, don't fucking look at me. I don't know what the hell this Alpha is."
York looked at Tex and sighed. "Does she even know? That the person she used to be was nothing more than a mere meatball for Alpha to control?"
"She does now."
"Fuck."
Church put her hands on her hips and scowled. "Alright, you two have some fucking explaining to do. The fuck are you talking about? I'm a real person, dammit!" 'Not this shit again. I'm a fucking human. For the last fucking time. My old body even stank like a real corpse, for fuck's sake!'
"We know that. We can obviously see you." York rolled his eyes. "But I think…wait a minute. Do you hear that?"
He was right. There was a low whistling, rapidly growing louder. "Yeah, I do. What the fuck is that?"
Church reached for her sniper rifle and looked through the scope to see what it was. Her eyes bulged in panic and she let out a scream of warning. "ROCKETS!"
"Shit! Where did they come from!?" Tex yelled, ducking into cover and dragging York with her. "Church, get to cover!"
But there wasn't any time. Especially with a second rocket rapidly approaching her as well. Leona Church took a deep breath and aimed her rifle. She had to time this just right if she wanted to live to complain about it later. 'Come on. You know you can do this.'
The tip of the rocket grew closer and she fired. The butt of the sniper rifle slammed against her shoulder as it let out a loud crack, the high velocity bullet streaking towards its target. It struck and created the coolest fucking explosion she had the privilege of seeing, but the sheer force of two rockets exploding simultaneously while only about twenty feet from her threw her back like a ragdoll. Her head slammed against a rock and her rifle fell out of her hands onto the sand below.
The last thing she heard before she blacked out was someone screaming her name.
A/N: Poor Church. Nearly getting blown up again? I know. Poor girl's got like a fucking magnet to explosives XD. Hey, she finally got to be a badass with the sniper rifle! XD thanks for reading! Peace!
C. Strife#5371