Chapter 8

Rukia woke that morning to an empty bed. It was a difficult sleep, and it didn't help that Renji was growing quieter in the past few weeks. She contented herself this morning with the silence of the house. It was Ichika's day at the dojo, and being a weekend meant Rukia didn't have much else to attend to. She decided to spend the day in her office, lounging on the couch, trying her best to focus on a novel.

As she read the start of the same paragraph for the fifth time, her mind wandered to the situation on earth and how the previous Rukia would have stormed into Ichigo's life and knocked some sense into him to navigate the course. Yet, this time, it did nothing. This wasn't her relationship, definitely not something she should pry into, especially when Renji said that it was because Ichigo was in love with her.

In love with her, Kuchiki Rukia.

She let a deep breath out. Rukia was familiar with grief, pride, contentment, and above all, duty… but this was beyond her expertise. Renji was right, there was nothing stopping anyone from doing anything – never mind she and Ichigo. Renji could just leave, or kick her out, the same way Inoue did. She acknowledged that Ichigo wouldn't have had the balls to own up to his feelings, and Inoue was definitely the one to request the current accommodations.

Shit. Rukia thought, if she could have anything to do with getting them back together, maybe she should do something. She glanced up at the clock. Renji and Ichika wouldn't be home for a few hours, and Ichigo wouldn't be at the dojo due to current circumstances. Inoue on a weekend would probably be at home waiting for Kazui to return…

She had to do something.

Ichigo found himself with a day off. Since Rukia's last visit, he had adjusted to the truths of not having either woman in his life in any romantic capacity, he simply did not love his wife because he loved someone else. He repeated this a few times to himself. Uryuu coached him with the mental activity of stating the facts, the unchangeable truths as anchors of the uncertain grey that was his relationship with these women.

In the course of these conversations, Ichigo revisited a previous accusation. He felt on some degree that he owed it to his dear friend, who may, in honesty, love his wife more than anyone ever did.

"Are you going to talk to her?"

"What makes you think I haven't?"

Ichigo sat back, amused. "You haven't."

Uryuu pushed up his glasses, "I haven't."

"Are you going to?"

"Should I?"

"You should."

Uryuu stayed quiet.

"No one's going to stop you."

Uryuu locked eyes with Ichigo, and Ichigo let out a half smile. "She's your wife."

"It won't be that way forever," Ichigo said.

"She's been in love with you since we were kids."

"Feelings change."

"You can't really be okay with this-"

"Uryuu, it's been months." Ichigo said, "I'm not pushing you, I'm just telling you that if anything were to happen I'm not someone you have to worry about."

"And what, you're going to play single dad the rest of your living life?" Uryuu poked.

"And why not?" Ichigo replied, "Maybe I'm doomed to repeat history."

"Your father was happy; you can't deny that."

"I can't." Ichigo said, "So why can't I also be happy?"

Uryuu regarded Ichigo for a moment. The man swung wildly between helpless and brazenly confident so often that it gave him whiplash, but lately Uryuu was glad that he was making more sense.

"No more pining for Kuchiki?"

Ichigo frowned, running a hand through his hair. "It's not hurting anyone, is it?"

Inoue was on her way to an annual lunch with Tatsuki this morning. Her oldest and truest friend had become something of an entrepreneur and returned home occasionally for visits with Inoue and her family when not seeing clients all over the world. Inoue was enjoying the mildness of the spring weather despite the overcast sky she decided would not ruin this day. A few meters down the road and she noticed a familiar form.

"Abarai-kun?" Inoue asked, and watched as Renji perked up, shutting his phone. In his usual robes, he motioned for Inoue to retreat to a more deserted section of the street, so she wouldn't rouse suspicion talking to thin air.

"I'm sorry to meet you this way," Renji said.

"Is everything okay? Are the kids alright?"

"They're fine, still in the middle of their lessons- so I thought I'd…" Renji found himself at a loss for words. What did he want with Ichigo's wife?

"Are you okay? You look exhausted." Inoue asked.

He locked eyes with Inoue and he looked away sheepishly. Damn Ichigo, beautiful women left and right and he had to fall for the one that Renji wanted.

"I was just checking in on you- I know about… a fair bit… Are you okay?"

Inoue looked at him in mild surprise, and then smiled politely. "As okay as a person could be."

Renji placed a hand on her shoulder. "I tried, Inoue."

Orihime smiled, and felt her eyes wet, realizing that they were trapped in the same boat amidst the whirlwind of Ichigo and Rukia's quasi-affair. "I know you did," she replied quietly, and a few tears escaped, that she quickly wiped dry.

"It's hard when there are still feelings involved." Renji said, almost to himself.

"She'd stay with you… if you asked." Inoue added.

"So would he." Renji replied.

They paused, looking at each other, suddenly sharing the thought that even if they asked, it wouldn't be enough.

"I have to go-"

"Yeah, me too-"

"Thank you, Abarai-kun." Inoue said, smiling kindly.

Renji nodded, as he walked in the opposite direction bound for the gate at Urahara's.

Uryuu was surprised to see Rukia in her gigai casually strolling through the hospital halls. Granted, he wasn't that surprised, since he had gone to investigate the spiritual anomaly at his very own place of work. Rukia looked up at him cheerfully, and he gently pulled her along into his office.

"Ishida, what are you-"

"What are you doing here?" He asked, shutting the door behind them.

"Looking for Ichigo." Rukia had realized that now that his limiter was activated, she was having a bit of difficulty triangulating him. She didn't want to admit it, and also wasn't keen on admitting that her nerves were making it difficult to focus her powers.

"He doesn't want to be found."

"Ah, so he is staying with you. I'll just go to yours, then."

"Kuchiki-san, with all due respect, what are you hoping to accomplish?"

Rukia looked at Uryuu in her usual air of pride. "What else?"

Uryuu let out a sigh. Ridiculous. Thousands of years older and somehow just as stupid as the other. "You are the last person that any of the two want to see right now."

Rukia crossed her arms, "What are you trying to say?"

"He's still recovering from that last meeting you had- and you're strolling in here acting like you'll fix everything." Uryuu replied, locking eyes with her.

"I don't see the problem, Inoue's my friend, and-"

"That's just it, you're the problem." Uryuu interrupted.

Rukia was flabbergasted. "What-"

"Ichigo's feelings have clearly torn them apart; you're going to make everything worse."

"I've got to make things better somehow-"

"How, Kuchiki-san?" Uryuu asked, now sounding genuinely curious rather than appalled.

Rukia finally sat down, and Uryuu followed suit, sitting behind his desk. She looked to the side, as if thinking, and Uryuu gave her that chance.

"I don't know what to do, Ishida." Rukia looked down at her hands folded neatly in each other on her lap. It occurred to her that things were bad – but being the person to make it worse?

Uryuu now looked at her in mild surprise, taken aback by her vulnerability. "Go home," Uryuu began, "whatever's happening here is their business."

Rukia looked at him almost gratefully, biting back tears. She nodded, and took another look at her hands, fidgeting with the ring around her finger. "Don't tell Ichigo."

"I wasn't planning to."

At this, she stood, and briskly made her way out of the office.

Ichigo was in fact, at Urahara's. He was deep into training, midway into another impossible exercise set up by Urahara and Yoruichi. Shirtless, he stood panting, wiping his brow of sweat as he glared at his superiors who were calmly enjoying some tea and chatting away.

"Focus!" Yoruichi laughed, tossing a boulder his way, which Ichigo easily dodged.

"This is impossible, and you know it!"

Urahara looked down at him with a look of disappointment, "What, a few weeks off of training and you're suddenly unable to accomplish the simplest of tasks?"

"There's nothing simple about this shit!" Ichigo exclaimed, motioning towards the young lady who he trained with so many years ago.

"Ururu's only task is to keep your sword away from you."

"What the heck did you do to the kid-" Ichigo panted, bent over, "Listen, Ururu, if you-"

"Hey! No negotiating!" Urahara exclaimed, whipping his fan at Ichigo where it landed on the back of his head.

Ururu let out a laugh and disappeared once again. Ichigo let out a curse.

"Oh Renji."

Ichigo perked up, Renji?

"And Kuchiki-san!"

At this, Ichigo leapt to the top of the pit, where he found Rukia and Renji looking at each other in slight confusion. The pair then turned to Ichigo, who had forgotten he was shirtless, sweating, and scuffed.

Rukia felt her heart pound at the sight of him, and dart her eyes towards anyone else. Renji leaned back, arms crossed at the sight of Ichigo walking towards them, eyes fixed on Rukia.

"Did we interrupt something?" Renji asked.

"Did we?" Ichigo replied, wiping the sweat from his brow. Ururu joined the fray and stood slightly behind Urahara, still holding Zangetsu casually.

"We're just here for the gate, Urahara." Rukia said, refusing to make eye contact with Ichigo. She took a quick look at her phone for the time, and shared a look with Renji.

"Yeah, I already told Ganju to keep them entertained for a bit."

Rukia's silence to the statement was understood as a fight meant for later.

Ichigo continued looking at Rukia, who finally glanced at him.

"What?"

Ichigo shook his head, "Nothing." He glanced at Renji who stared back coolly. Ichigo turned to walk away.

"Keep walking." Renji remarked.

Urahara opened his fan, hiding behind it, amused by the unfolding situation.

"What?" Ichigo asked.

"Nothing." Renji replied, looking at him smugly.

Ichigo, suddenly enraged brought himself eye to eye with his old friend. "Say that again, to my face. Clearly this time, vice captain."

"Enough you two," Rukia interjected.

"Walk away, Kurosaki."

Ichigo clenched his fist.

"Renji, don't."

"Try me again, Renji."

"Are you looking for a fight to lose?"

At this, Ichigo's fist reared back. In the same speed, Rukia stopped it, and Renji was ready to swing one of his own. They froze, in a strange tableau as reiatsus rose.

"Fuck you. Why are you here anyway?" Ichigo asked. "Why aren't you with the kids?" He dropped his fist, taking a step back, glancing at Rukia who let go. He registered the touch for later, something to analyze and add to his collection of their steadily dwindling interactions.

"I spoke to your wife, actually." Renji replied, readjusting his robes. He wasn't sure why he felt so confrontational- probably the way Rukia became flustered around Ichigo's half-dressed state, witnessing emotions that weren't towards him, so blaringly apparent. The kid was attractive, he just wished he wasn't attracting his wife.

Ichigo stayed quiet, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Just to extend my condolences." Renji looked at Ichigo with a pity that he made sure was obvious.

"How'd you find out?"

"Word gets around upstairs."

Ichigo glanced at Rukia, who was suddenly interested in the floor – behaviours of guilt he rarely saw.

"Well," Ichigo started, "Not all marriages are like yours, I guess." He finished dryly. "Anyway, let's go Ururu. I'm suddenly full of energy."

"You're working on it, right?" Rukia asked.

Ichigo looked at her, amber eyes on violet. No, they said, I don't know that there's anything to work on. "Yeah." He answered.

"Good." She replied, "Let's go, Renji."

Ichigo watched them turn and walk away, Urahara followed closely behind. Yoruichi stood closer to Ichigo, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You're a good man, Ichigo." Yoruichi said.

"Good does me nothing anymore," Ichigo muttered. He turned back and dropped into the battlefield, Ururu following.

Renji wondered how long he could do this. He watched as his wife read their daughter a bedtime story. Ichika gleefully participated, questioning Rukia who answered without missing a beat. They were made for each other, he smiled. As for the two of them, he wasn't so sure. Was it supposed to be so hard? Objectively speaking, when he looked at Ichigo and Rukia it seemed obvious that one was into the other. The worst part of it all was that he knew what she looked like when she loved someone. There was a softening in just about everything – her smile, her glances, her touch… he liked to believe that he received the affection a few times. He slowly descended the stairs, deciding to prepare his bed for the night. Today stung, he thought. The way her composure fell, the way she wanted to make sure that Ichigo and Inoue were 'working on it' – Renji sat atop his sheets, face buried in his hands.

"Renji," Rukia interrupted a self-defeating spiral.

He looked up, and locked eyes with his wife. "What?"

"If you were going to see Inoue, I would have come with you-"

"I could ask you the same question."

Rukia let out a sigh, taking a seat on the coffee table. "I thought I'd make sure the two were working on things."

"You realize you can't play dumb forever, Rukia."

Ah, there it was, again. Rukia shot him a glare. "I'm not playing dumb-"

"Yes, you are!" Renji exclaimed, mindful not to wake Ichika to the fight.

Rukia sat stunned, "I thought we were done with this."

"Oh, cut that shit." Renji muttered, now angry. All he could feel was the pain, pulsing through him, transforming into a white-hot rage. "Were you going down to see if you could get some time with him? Alone?"

"Some time with him? What are we, children? No, I was not there to fuck him, Renji. Were you trying to fuck his wife?"

"Don't you dare try to spin this on me." Renji retorted, "I'm not the one checking on Ichigo as if he can't fucking survive on his own."

"That's what friends do; they check on each other."

"Then why not Inoue?" Renji asked, "Why not her first?"

"Because-"

"Because you knew that you were the reason," Renji interrupted, "You tore them apart."

Rukia looked at Renji with an anger he had never seen before. "How dare you accuse me of that?" She seethed. "Do you think I would willingly do that to people I care about, Renji?"

Renji maintained his accusation, "Whatever happened that night caused all this. We were fine before you two decided to see each other again."

"Oh, so you're the one that doesn't trust me."

"No Rukia you're the one that can't be trusted. You go to him first, you check on him first, hell, you think about him first. Don't you?"

"Now you're just pulling at nothing."

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to see him?" Renji asked.

"Don't forget at one point, you were limiting our contact with each other." Rukia replied.

"And you couldn't call, or text…"

"And what am I supposed to say? How am I supposed to casually talk about something that heavy-"

"Excuses." Renji replied.

"I'm done having this conversation. We can't keep fighting about this. Good night."

Renji let her leave. He watched her ascend the stairs and when he was met with silence, tears began to fall. The truth was that he wanted to believe her, to effectively vanquish all the anxieties that had been keeping him up at night, affecting his work, clouding his mind. He couldn't. Renji let his hair down, vibrant red tresses falling onto his bare back, onto shoulders that began to shake.

The Renji that loved Rukia wanted to hold on, work it out, steadily, similar to the way he watched for years. From wherever she went, she'd return, and they'd be the same. That familiar friendship, the shared struggle of their childhoods, it enveloped him in a warmth he sought endlessly. The years flew by and he was unimaginably happy. She unfolded before him in ways he never thought he'd see. He learned Rukia in intimate ways, in her habits, her preferences, her dislikes.

His recent behaviour, he realized, was his preparation. The truth bore itself to him, stuck to his thoughts, and no matter how hard he tried not to look at it, it persisted. He couldn't do this anymore. And he took a moment out of sick curiosity to determine where it was that the line was drawn. Was it knowing somewhere inside him that theirs was a bond he could never replicate? No, Renji was more solid than that, and understood that he owed Ichigo a world of gratitude for rescuing Rukia. Maybe, he thought, it was the way she looked at him lately, eyes now considering something beyond friendship. He cursed. Renji didn't want to give up, but he knew well enough when to leave. He knew that if he let her go now, he'd never have her again. He was lucky, he thought, that he had her at all. He was furious that he'd run out of luck.

What was next, he wondered. Divorce? He laid back onto his makeshift bed on the couch. Everyone moved around the two of them, he realized. Ichigo and Rukia would have stayed, if they asked. Inoue was right. He looked up at the ceiling. Did she even want to stay?

Uryuu arrived at the restaurant with minutes to spare. The host seated him in a quiet corner booth near the back of the space. He fixed his cuffs, and sipped the wine that was poured once he had time to settle. He checked his phone once more, ensuring that he didn't miss any calls from work or from the guest herself.

He contented himself on browsing the menu when he felt a presence approach his table.

"I'm sorry, were you waiting long, Ishida-kun?"

He smiled, "Not at all, Inoue."

Orihime smiled at him. He studied her dress briefly. She wore a flowy jewel toned purple wrap dress, a loose V resting at the start of her chest. Her simple jewellery glinted even in the low light, as she turned to thank the waiter for the wine.

"Kazui with the girls tonight?" Uryuu asked.

Inoue nodded, sipping on the wine, "He was excited to see Karin more than anyone else, and wouldn't stop telling me about the dessert Yuzu made for him."

"Hence why you're late," Uryuu chuckled.

"Yes, again, I'm sorry." She laughed in return.

"I was worried you wouldn't show up," Uryuu said. He looked at her to gauge her reaction. She smiled sweetly.

"I was worried about that, too." Inoue replied, "But it's hard to say no to a friend."

They were briefly interrupted to place their order. Inoue watched as Uryuu ordered, carrying himself with a quiet confidence so different from her husband's. She placed her order, and didn't mind his stares. She couldn't help but notice the subtle awe in his look, she allowed herself to enjoy the attention.

They talked about work, about their families, about the weather, politics, gas prices – everything. Inoue, surprised at how much she could laugh, and Uryuu surprised at how much Inoue knew. The Uryuu of the past barely made conversation with the girl, content with watching her grow, discontent in watching her love someone who didn't love her in return.

"We don't have to talk around it," Inoue said. She poked at her dessert a little, as if buying time.

"We don't have to talk about it." Uryuu said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"How is he?" Inoue asked, curious.

Uryuu wondered how to answer. He didn't make it a habit to lie to Inoue, the way Ichigo did, but took a moment to consider how she would respond.

"You don't have to try so hard to think of an answer, Ishida-kun." Inoue smiled, almost amused.

"He's a wreck." Uryuu began, taking a sip of his coffee again. "Must be terrible, losing such a beautiful wife."

Inoue chuckled, "I appreciate the sugar coating, Ishida-kun." A small ache began in her chest. Good, she thought, let him be miserable.

"Now let me ask you an equally difficult question," Uryuu said gently, "will you be asking him to return?"

Inoue was taken back, "Are you asking for his sake?"

"I'm asking for mine." Uryuu smirked.

Was he always so forward? "No. At least… I don't think I want him to."

"You can still love him," Uryuu added, sipping on his coffee.

"I can." Inoue replied, watching as he called for the bill.

"I wouldn't expect any less, Inoue."

Inoue watched thoughtfully as he paid for the bill, give his compliments to the chef, and a generous tip. He stood and helped her out of the booth. They stepped out into the evening, cooler now that the sun had completely disappeared. He gently placed her hand on his arm, and they began to walk towards the direction of home.

"Does he know?"

"Yes," Uryuu replied, "He encouraged this."

Inoue looked at the floor a little sadly. The truth came in waves – again and again refusing to relent until she acknowledged the truth.

Uryuu noticed the change in mood and led her to a park bench, where they sat. "There is no easy way about this, Inoue. I'm not interested in forcing anything, I'm not interested in pressuring you. I'm simply here to remind you that there are alternatives." He smiled at her once she met his eyes. "I'm a friend."

Inoue looked up at him. They sat close, legs touching. Uryuu gently waiting for a reply, warm, welcoming despite the stoic demeanour she was so familiar with growing up. He was always handsome, in his own way, focused, determined, so when his attention landed on you, nothing else existed. You felt special. She leaned in, heart pounding, breath shallow – all this tenderness with all these kind words, he had become-

"I'll stop you there," Uryuu interrupted her thoughts, clearing his own throat, and created space between them. "I think your son is waiting, and your friend would like to take you home."

"I'm so sorry, did I misread?"

"Oh no! Not at all – I just don't want you to rush into anything, Inoue." Uryuu replied. He took her hand and guided her to stand. "I don't think… in fact, there's nothing more I'd like…" He looked at her lips, his words reducing to a near whisper. "You still love him, and that's okay. Honour that."

Inoue's eyes began to wet.

"I'm not going anywhere – no matter what you end up deciding." Uryuu added.

Inoue didn't say anything, taking in a few deep breaths to calm the ache in her chest. Ichigo encouraging this excursion wasn't entirely unkind or unexpected, she reasoned. But it still hurt so much, she couldn't pinpoint exactly which reason hurt more – Uryuu's kindness or the love she held onto for so long obscuring further into pain.

Uryuu arrived to a busy kitchen. He happened upon Ichigo scrounging for a meal in the fridge. His roommate looked up and smirked.

"Went well?" Ichigo asked. He shut the fridge and leaned back against it with his arms crossed.

"Ichigo, I hardly think-"

"Oh come on," Ichigo insisted, "I'm rooting for you, both."

Uryuu let out a sigh, recognizing that he didn't have anyone else to talk to about this and Ichigo had been so annoying about the whole thing. "I don't think being a confidant was part of the roommate contract."

"Hey, I'm your tenant, I'm not torturing you for information. I just want to know how my friend's date went."

"If it could be called that." Uryuu retorted. He hung his keys by the door and kicked off his shoes.

"What, it didn't go well?" Ichigo asked, as he settled on a protein drink for a snack.

"She's still in love with you," Uryuu replied, crashing onto the couch, loosening his tie and top buttons.

"Eh, that'll change."

Uryuu looked up at Ichigo towering over him, who was taking sips of his protein while flipping through channels. "This doesn't bother you… at all?"

Ichigo looked at Uryuu in slight confusion. "No, should it?"

"Are you serious, Kurosaki?"

"Hang on – what the hell is this, why are you getting angry at me?"

"Your insensitivity when it comes to Inoue has always been remarkable." Uryuu replied.

Ichigo glared at him, "I've always been careful around her."

"So don't you care?"

"Of course, I do. That's the mother of my child, my wife… at one point. The only reason I'm not worried is because it's you, Ishida. If it were anyone else, I'd beat them to death."

Uryuu looked at Ichigo in surprise, he knew he was regarded highly by his friend, but to this extent? "My apologies."

"You better be." Ichigo retorted. Seating himself in the adjacent sofa. "If it counts for anything, it does hurt to watch her be able to move on. Even if not yet entirely."

Uryuu watched as Ichigo took another sip of his drink. "Are you going to get her back? You still have a chance."

Ichigo shared a look with Uryuu as they both knew the answer to the question, and he decided to respond in silence.

Uryuu excused himself for bed. He pat Ichigo on the shoulder on his way to his room.

Ichigo sat in the glow of the television and tried not to think about Inoue in the arms of someone else. He tried not to think about her smiling because of someone else. He had no right to be jealous, he thought. Inoue lingered in his life like a constant star in his sky, she was always cheerful, kind, bright. He finished his drink and sat back, still deep in thought. She was (is) beautiful, incredible to watch underneath him, something he knew he'd never see again. Ichigo felt his chest ache, if this was to be the night he ached over his wife, he didn't mind. He preferred it, he thought, that it was in her loss to someone else, someone far better than he. It was painful, though far different from the guilt and shame he was used to, so it was welcome.