Crimson Rain

by The God Slayer

Decades after the planet has finally known peace, through great sacrifice and struggle, something ancient and sinister stirs beneath the surface. A mad man rises with power the world thought was extinct and declares war on the planet, igniting a turn in history millenniums in the making.

5. Nobody's Fault but Mine

Warnings: This will be the last time there will be warnings for chapters. Rated M should be enough of a warning.

Nobody's Fault but Mine

Cambyses had no idea how to proceed with the information Cadence had given him. He knew that if he told his parents any of it, it would break her trust in him. It had already been two days since then and when he stopped by his sister's room to check up on her recovery and perhaps get a glimpse into her mental standings on the issue (particularly about their father arranging her assault) he found that knocking would not receive a reply and whenever he peaked into the room, he could only see his mother sewing or twisting bands together while his sister slept.

Perhaps it is best she sleeps it all off, he thought, closing the door. It should cool her head down enough to think rationally, I should hope. Yet it still bothered him, knowing something about the assault his parents did not know, so he went back to his room to think. Sitting alone was surely helpful in aiding him to think more openly, but no matter what he came up with, he could not see how he could get around telling his parents. They should know...it isn't right to keep them in the dark, yet if I tell, Cadence will hate me. He sighed heavily.

I just need to handle it all on my own, so that I do not involve anymore people into this secrecy. At least then I won't be breaking Cadence's trust. He knew what to do first—find Luke and Eric. He got up and buckled his sword to waist and headed out of the castle as quietly as he could. If his parents caught him heading out looking ready for a battle, they would surely question him and if he could manage to keep the secret, they would surely forbid him from going or otherwise have someone follow him.

If his memory was as accurate as he thought it was, Luke and Eric lived in the Sunvale Hills, just outside of the capitol. It was three and a half hour drive out if he took it slow, but he did not want to be weighed down unnecessarily, so he purchased a chocobo and went on his way.

••••••••••••

Emma hadn't been able to sleep much since she Cadence's confrontation, and her own idiocy in telling her what had happened. She watched the door since then waiting for her parents to charge in and tell her she was to be sent away, or disowned. It would be better that way, she thought, turning her head towards the window. I...I'm not a good daughter, especially not a good princess.

Stop with that, the voice whispered and she strained to close her eyes, as if it could fight back the voice. There is none on this planet that can stand beside you as equal. The fault of what happened lies on those who did it to you, and those who refuse you now that it has happened. The voice was talking about her family, that much was clear. For that they all must perish.

You don't know anything! she cried. It is nobody's fault but my own. Father was punishing me for being... she couldn't finish her thoughts, and the voice scoffed.

The day will come for submission, the voice whispered before leaving. The voice's foreboding words left her sick to her stomach. What could she mean by that? Hadn't she experienced enough already?

What am I thinking...it is nothing. It is just in my head. She sighed and leaned her head into her pillows.

"Emma, are you awake?"

Emma panicked. It was her mother! The last thing she wanted was for her mother to find out she had been skipping her medicated drinks. She closed her eyes and tried her best to fake being asleep just as the door opened. Please, please, please...let her go! Let her go and leave me be! Her mother approached, gentle footsteps echoing, until Emma could feel her presence by her bed.

"Emma, it is time to get up now," she said, touching her face gently with warm hands. "We need to get you cleaned and change your dressings."

She sighed and opened her eyes. Her mother's smiling face greeted her. She knew she was awake the entire time, but how? Little did Emma know it was a mother's intuition to know if a child was lying, faking, or otherwise doing something she or he felt was wrong. She offered her daughter a small laugh, clearly finding it amusing that her daughter thought she could pull a fast one on her (or perhaps because she thought it was cute) and asked her to sit up.

If her mother knew about the medicated drinks being neglected, she didn't say anything. "Careful now, dear," she said quietly when Emma jerked painfully at a motion that was too much for her too soon. "That's it...careful, careful." when she was up on her feet, biting down her lip and wincing at the pain in her ribs and leg, Terra leaned her daughter against her body and slowly walked her into the basin room.

The water was warm, much to Emma's dismay (she would have preferred way hotter), and Terra started to pour some little rock like things into the large basin. Emma watched with a furrow of her brows, confused. When her mother noticed, she giggled. "It is to help with your injuries. Your uncle swears by them and even brought by a box of it for you."

Emma clamped her mouth shut over a complaint about the smell (like rotten food). She sneezed as the room started to fill with the scent and tried to cover her nose some but her arm hurt too much to hold up for too long.

"Out of those clothes, now," Terra said, helping her up straight so she could remove her shirt.

She jumped and cried out, "Ouch!" when the shirt tugged on a piece of bandage that in turned brought pain to her ribs. Terra paled.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" she carefully removed the shirt from the piece of bandage. "Better?" Emma mumbled back her reply. Once she was removed of all her clothes and helped into the water, Terra poured the water several times down her head and back and then started to scrub her with a gentle cloth. For some reason the soap burned more than it had the last time she was washed and so she asked her mother what it was. "It is something I made, to help with the soreness and cuts. It will clean them out and disinfect them."

"Why does it sting so much?" she mumbled, squirming because she couldn't rid herself of the irritating ointment soap.

"That's how you know it is working," she said and then held her still. "Sit still girl, or I may get this in your eyes and that will sting far more."

Emma tried to sit still, trembling just a bit as her mother scrubbed, as gently as she could of course, over sores, bruises and cuts. She sealed her eyes shut and tried to fight back cries or groans of pain. If her mother heard or saw such things, she would think it was her fault and the last thing she wanted to do was push her mother away any further or place any guilt on her where none could be had.

It was all her fault and only hers.

"I think that should do it for today. I don't want to make your wounds raw." Terra said, dumping new water over her daughter and giggling when Emma complained about the cold. "Oh, I made it as hot as I dared."

Emma couldn't quite believe that.

A moment later her mother left and returned with a big towel, bigger than even an adult male would actually need and sat it aside so she could help her daughter out of the water. Holding her up as she reached for the towel ended up being too difficult. And, as if the gods wanted to further embarrassed her and subject her to embarrassing matters, the basin room's door opened and in came Celes. "Rosalee told me you needed me, Terra?" that's when the woman noticed and froze only momentarily before understanding what the need was for. Emma was sure her entire body turned red, and she knew for a fact she started trembling, because her mother gasped and went to wrap her arms around Emma, frightened.

"Heavens! Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" Too afraid to speak, and too humiliated that Celes had seen her ugly, beaten body, she just hid her face in the crook of her mother's neck and cried. Celes looked on in confusion and worry. "Emma? Are you pain? I...I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong."

When it was clear she was not going to reply, Celes cleared her throat and took the towel and held it out. Terra passed her a quick glance before smiling a 'thank you' and helping her daughter out of the basin and into the comforting warmth of the towel. Terra walked her over to a small bench, sat her down and took a secondary towel to give to Celes, so that she could dry the girl's hair. Emma, now ashamed of the scene she had made, kept her eyes downcast at her feet poking out of the giant towel, gentle tears in her eyes.

How much worse could things get?

"Okay sweety," Terra said, standing. "We need to lift you. Please tell me if it hurts too much, okay?" having no idea what to say, or the will to even try, she just nodded and stiffened as she was raised to her feet. Too much weight on her right leg made her cry out and crumble into her mother's arms, legs having buckled underneath her. Celes gasped and reached out, very hesitantly and softly, to steady the girl against Terra.

"This isn't going to work. She is far from being able to carry herself, in any capacity." Celes whispered, and her mother agreed just as quietly. "Let's take her to her bed and continue there." so they moved her into the main room and carefully laid her on the bed.

They fussed about easy and lightweight clothing to give her so that she could move around without too much pain. They finally settled on long, baggy shorts that, instead of buckling shut, latched together with a simple to remove and do tie, so that it hung over her small hips, just threatening to fall right off. She wouldn't be walking anyway, so worrying about it falling down was at the bottom of their to worry list. To go with the shorts, they gave her a makeshift back buttoned blouse, that Celes had been working on the night before (for hours). It was huge and unsightly, but it worked.

Satisfied, they went about checking to see if anything needed to be adjusted before Terra sat down with a hairbrush to brush through her tangled, wet hair. Celes went to cleaning the room quietly. Emma had closed her eyes one moment and found that she had fallen asleep the next time she opened her eyes, seeing that she had been tucked into her bed. Her mother was by the window with Celes, talking very quietly, though Emma could hear.

"...I wouldn't know how to start that discussion, Celes."

"You need to try," the woman replied. "Before it is too late to."

Emma wondered what they were talking about. She supposed she wouldn't know unless she asked, which she was not going to do. Thankfully her stomach was aching and that was a worthy distraction. "Mother?" they both turned to her, surprised, but smiling regardless. "Is...is it breakfast time y-yet?"

Neither of them had the heart to tell her it morning had come and gone, but Terra nodded. "Why, yes it is. What would you like to eat, my sweet girl?"

Emma thought for a moment. In her mind's eye she saw all sorts of things she would love to eat, but she settled on the food she wanted but never really was allowed to have except on special occasions. "C-c-can I have fruit p-p-pastries?"

Terra smiled. "Certainly."

"Is that truly all that you want?" Celes teased, which Terra decided to play along with as well by encouraging her to share if there was more.

It seemed impossible to begin with, so being presented with the chance to have more of whatever she wanted seemed like a dream, but she took it anyway. "And—and apple c-crepes? And om-omelets?"

Terra only smiled at her daughter. "Of course. I'll get to it right now. Why don't you rest while I am cooking?"

"But—but I'm not t-t-tired."

Celes and Terra exchanged quick glances before conceding to the girl's comments, saying their temporary goodbyes and leaving. In truth, and as expected by the two women, it only took a few minutes for the girl to fall asleep.

••••••••••••

Once they were at the kitchen, Terra went to collecting the ingredients, unaware she was crying and unable to hear Celes asking if she were okay, until the woman took her by the shoulder and stopped her from working. She let the gentle mother cry in her arms for several minutes before she hugged her tightly and asked her if there was anything she could do. Terra had no answers, no requests or ideas. She didn't even think it could get better, if the pain that had been caused was final or adjustable. She felt useless as a mother, as a queen and as a person.

"This isn't your fault, Terra," Celes said, patting her back, crying herself. "Horrible things happen sometimes and there is nothing anyone can do about it. You couldn't have known this would happen either, so please, stop blaming yourself."

"I should have told her she couldn't go," she whispered, wiping at her eyes weakly. "Edgar was right. She was too young and—"

"Now you listen here," she said sharply, getting Terra's attention. "You can't deny your daughter things because something could go wrong. It isn't right, especially not to her. You did something kind and thoughtful for your daughter and someone else ruined it for you and for her. You can't let this stop you from giving her the world."

Terra smiled and hugged her friend once more. "I love you Celes."

The woman smiled and hugged her back. "I love you too, Terra...now let's make something so sweet it will rot the teeth off your daughter." together they went to making the food the princess had requested. Terra made the crepes with as many apples as she could fit without making it a mess and Celes was sure to make the pastries as tender, moist and fruity as possible. The omelettes was the easiest of the three to make, especially since Terra knew just what her daughter liked in them: cheese, tomatoes, avocados, mushroom (the most important!), onion, parsley, spinach, olives and of course one of her daughter's favorite kinds of meat, salmon.

Celes also kindly helped squeeze fresh orange juice, pulp and all as the princess loved it, and helped set the tray and carry it as Terra was still shaky from her episode. As they ascended the stairs to the second floor, Celes decided it was worth talking about again.

"Will you talk to her about it?"

Terra's shoulders sagged and she paused midway up the stairs. "Celes...you have to remember what my daughter is like, now try to imagine that now, with what she went through? That is even assuming she will be ready to talk about it."

"You know you have to try though, right? And I don't think you should wait any longer...it is vital you do it now."

"I know that and I agree, but what can I do? What do I say? I know she needs help, help that I cannot give her, and it kills me."

"Sometimes the best way is the hard way Terra. You just have to go in there and ask. Just let the words out and you never know...she might as well."

Terra looked up the stairs, as if she could see her daughter standing there, waiting to talk. "I...I will try, but after she eats, okay?" Celes agreed and they went on until they were within the girl's room once more.

As they expected, the girl was asleep, so deeply asleep that she didn't wake to the wonderful smells or their initial attempts to wake her up. Terra smiled to hold back her laughter and leaned down to kiss her daughter's forehead and then brushed loose hair out of her face. Celes sat the tray down and watched the scene quietly. "Things will get better, Terra, I promise you."

Finally, pale purple-blue eyes revealed themselves and all the drowsiness to it, having finally smelled the food. She was at awe when they sat the tray before her. The first thing she did was finish off the pastries, making a mess due to the fragile use of one hand she was unaccustomed to (her right), but too delighted to pay her crippled state any of her precious attention. Celes was thankfully in possession of plenty of handkerchiefs, which she passed liberally to Terra to use on her daughter whenever it got too messy.

The girl finished them quickly and began sucking on her lips to get the stains out and the last of the tastiness. "I take it we cooked them to perfection?" Celes giggled a bit when Terra leaned in to wipe blueberry filling off her daughter's face. Emma fussed under the careful motherly attention and leaned her head out of the way of the cleaning cloth, annoyed. Celes took it as a very good sign.

"Well?" she pressed, and the girl nodded even as she reached thirstily for the orange juice. It was too heavy and too awkward though for her to lift with one hand, so Terra helped her drink. They waited until she ate the rest of her food—to Celes' surprise, she really ate everything—to start what they knew would be a sore subject that would take extreme effort to see through.

Terra cleared away the tray and reached out to take her daughter's hand, gently. "Emma, sweety, there are things we need to talk about." the girl stiffened immediately. Celes kept a vigilant watch over her, to record any change and any movement for consideration later. One detail could reveal much, after all. "I...I need to know if you know you can talk to me about what happened to you. I...I want you to know that I am here for you and I will hear whatever you have to say. I can't change what happened, but I can try to help you." Emma let her tears fall. They knew it meant her silence, but Celes nodded to Terra, to encourage her to keep pushing. Terra didn't know what else to say, but she knew her friend was right; her daughter needed to talk about what happened. It was the only way to heal or find some closure, even if it were small. "You can talk to me, Emma, you can."

"No," she said firmly, surprising the two.

"Emma, please, this is—"

"I said no," she said again, this time even harder.

Terra stole only a glance at her friend before placing her eyes back on her daughter. "I need to know who hurt you as well." silence. "Please...I don't know what else to do to help but this. Please."

"I'm tired," she said after a moment, looking away from them both in a very obvious statement. Terra stood and left the room quickly. Celes hurried after her.

"Terra, Terra...wait for a moment!" the woman said, catching the queen as she was fleeing down the stairs, crying. "Just listen to me for a moment!" she snapped, grabbing the woman's arm to pull her to a stop. "You can't let what just happened prevent you from trying again. It is only natural she react like that, but you did good back there. You need to stay with that persistence and let her know you are always there for her, to talk, to cry, to scream...for anything she might need. You must do this again tonight, tomorrow and—"

"You saw how she acted!" Terra cried. "My daughter is difficult, this is known and I have accepted it, but that...that was different. That was not my Emma—the Emma would speak about whatever was on her mind and not know any better. The sweet, honest girl! She is not comfortable talking to me anymore and she never will be. She won't ever be comfortable talking about it to anyone!"

"You are being a fool," Celes hissed. "The only thing she is uncomfortable with is talking about it at all! It isn't about you! I know just looking at her eyes you are the only person she trusts right now and that she wants to tell you everything! I can see it as clear as day but she's scared!"

"I know that! That's why—"

"That's why you keep trying!" Celes cut in sharply, digging her fingers into her friend's arm. "And you need to get your foolish husband in on it as well. She needs to know he is there as well and she needs to come to the understand that men can be trusted, that not all men are like the man who hurt her." she lowered her voice and let go of Terra's arm after a moment, slightly embarrassed for her reaction but determined. "I...I talked with Locke and he said there are specialists in Jidoor for traumas like hers...I think you should consider bringing her to one, or one to her."

"A stranger? When she won't even speak to me?"

"No...to attack this issue together, with Edgar. They will understand your daughter's emotional state Terra and will be able to suggest how to proceed and get your daughter to trust again. It is worth considering, isn't it?"

"Of course it is," Terra admitted. "The problem is that I know I won't be able to make it succeed. The reason I know this is...is because Emma had all but admitted prior to her attack that she thinks we do not care." that made Celes gasp. "Yes, it is true...she thought that Edgar and I didn't care for the things she did or loved, or even her. We of course tried to set that straight but I don't think she believed me or Edgar. It makes this far more difficult..."

Celes sighed. "You need Edgar's help. Why isn't he ever here with you?"

Terra looked away. "You know why he isn't here...he can't take it."

Celes scoffed. "As a parent he should put her ahead of his own feelings."

"It is harder than you think," Terra defended him, a little angry. "You cannot imagine how this feels as a parent, especially for him, to watch your daughter live in a never ending nightmare—to not be able to help her. He didn't even want her to go, and yet he relented, for her and for me. Now he doesn't know how to talk to her and he's afraid he will say something wrong or that his presence will just upset her. It is hard Celes, very hard! So please, don't...don't just judge him so easily!"

"I understand it is extremely painful for him," Celes said. "but however hard it is for him, it is even harder for her." Terra didn't bother to argue—it was the truth. "I think I know what to do...Cadence wants to see her anyway. Perhaps we could send her in with the same mission? To get her to talk and tell us what happened?"

"Isn't that trickery?" Terra asked, frowning and concerned.

"No...not really. Cadence truly is worried and wants to see her, so it is honesty. There is just a added benefit of her going."

Terra nodded. "Alright...not too soon though, or she will know what it is and close up even further."

Celes smiled and took her friend's hand. "Things will work out...I promise."

••••••••••••

Cambyses had not expected Lucas and Erik Duan's place of residency to be what it was; a giant manor on the outskirts of Sunvale Hills. He knew they were the sons of a rich merchant from some lovely beach city, but he did not expect this. The place was large enough to be misconstrued as a complex owned by the royal family, or by the Crown's direct line itself. It was fenced off by a great stone wall, arched gate and contained a huge garden. It looked abandoned though and when he got through the unlocked gate and approached the door, he found that it was indeed abandoned.

When he went around the side of the manor, looking through the open windows, he saw that it was also completely emptied. As if no one had lived in it for months. He knew then that the bastards had left, or used this as a false address where they were living peacefully someplace else. He had a feeling it was the former rather than the later though. Angrily he went back to his chocobo and tried to calm himself down before he did something he truly regretted.

Who else was there to contact to determine the location of the bastard that had hurt his sister?

Who were his friends? He thought back, trying to remember seeing who hung around the brothers but could only remember Emma watching him from her private spots in the yards or gardens, or watching him whenever they were put together on committees or whatnot. He had the faintest memory of others, but their faces were a blur to him. Come on...what were their names?

The name hit him like suddenly, as he remembered it was one of the same bastards that picked on his sister daily. Kysle D'etello. And he knew exactly where that scum lived, because he and Benjamin had jotted it down the first time they saw him picking on Emma, so he climbed atop his chocobo and took off at full speed south-east of the Duan manor further into the city, where the local Lords lived.

The D'etello family was known locally as wine merchants, well renowned too, and owned two small manors to house their family and close relatives. He knew the Lord and Lady would be at the manor, as it was a Free Day, and that their son would be too if he hadn't run off with Luke and Eric for some reason. He approached the gate quickly and stopped only because the soldiers behind the gate refused him entry until he did and disembarked.

"What business do you have here?"

Cambyses tightened his hands at his sides. "Would you really question your prince on his business, gentlemen?" they must have finally recognized him because they paled and hurried to open the gate.

"Our apologies, your majesty, we...we didn't recognize you."

"Clearly. Now tell me if the Lord of the Manor is present?"

"Yes, your majesty, he is breaking fast with his wife and children. If you require an audience, please follow me and I shall set it up for you."

The great hall to the manor was exquisite, as expected of a rich family such as the D'etello family. There wasn't a bare wall or section of the floor, and the room smelled heavily of fine and exotic scents and lit by extravagant lighting. The soldier that led him asked him to wait before entering the next room, where the family ate. It took only a moment for the soldier to reappear and ask Cambyses to wait in the foyer.

"I shall see him now and where he is," Cambyses said, a bit sharp. "I shall not wait."

"Please, your majesty, consider—"

"That is quite alright, Ser Alf," a man said, walking out of the other room with his wife at his side. It was Lord Kensly and his Lady, Abrianna. "We shall walk his majesty to the foyer now." the soldier bowed and then left them to their business. Once they were in the foyer and the Lord and Lady had their seats, Cambyses started the only way he knew how or thought important.

"Where is your son Kysle, my lord?"

"Kysle?" he mumbled, brows furrowing. "Why, he is in the hall eating with his brothers and sisters. What in heavens is this for?"

"Are you aware your son, and several of his friends, have been tormenting my sister at Sunset Academy since she started attending?"

Abrianna gasped. "That can't be, your majesty, our son is a well behaved young man."

"I have to admit the accusation doesn't seem likely to me either," Lord Kensly said sternly. "He has been a bit rowdy in his youth, but he put that behind him long ago, but the accusation that he tormented a little girl, let alone the princess of this country, is too hard to accept."

"You doubt my word, Lord D'etello?" Cambyses asked quietly, watching their faces. The man stood, almost defiantly. Camb understood it though. He was a father before he was a subject.

"I apologize your majesty, but I do. If this is true, why are we just hearing about it?"

"Because unlike your son, my sister was too sweet to confide this in anyone, not even our parents and feared the social backlash of telling anyone. If you doubt me, my lord, you are to call me a liar, but in this I have some form of understanding. This is your son, after all, and it wouldn't be right of me to stand here and tell you these things without some sort of proof...so shall I present it to you?"

Lord Kensly looked at his wife before nodded. "We would appreciate it, your majesty."

Cambyses said, "Several weeks back, did you notice a bruise on your son? His left eye, to be precise?"

"Why...yes, yes we did," Lady Abrianna answered. "He refused to tell us how it happened."

"Then I shall tell you," Cambyses said. "I punched him for trying to force my sister to eat grass." they both rose to their feet in protest. Cambyses stood firm against them, watching their eyes carefully. It was clear they truly had no idea that their son was a cruel and twisted soul. "Now I have no doubt you will also doubt the authenticity of my claims, despite me proving details I would not have known otherwise, so bring your son in here and let us see if he will lie to the face of the Crown and before his father."

Reluctantly Lord Kensly ordered a soldier in and then to bring him his third son. A moment later the doors opened and Kysle walked in. The instant he saw Cambyses his face turned pale and he turned to run, but the soldier stopped him—much to the confusion and fear of his parents. Throughout it all Cambyses stood watching, knowing full well that the lad could not accept his fate.

"If you are through Kysle, please tell your parents about your relationship with my sister. It seems they do not believe my words that you have tormented her since the day she arrived at Sunset academy."

The young man fearfully looked at the prince and then his father. It was obvious the boy didn't know who to fear more but knew either way he was in for serious trouble, and unknowingly to Cambyses, about to be charged with a very serious crime. He swallowed back a cry and stuttered a, "It...it is true father." his parents gasped, and then Arianna started to sob.

"You bullied a little girl?! Gods damn it Kysle, she's only thirteen and your princess! What were you thinking?!" Kensly looked at Cambyses, desperately. "Please, your majesty, show him mercy so that I cannot. I will not let this slide, I promise you, but please spare him the gallows or imprisonment."

"I haven't told my father yet what has been happening at the academy," Camb explained. "So I cannot make that promise. My father is the hand of justice, but I will promise you that I will speak to him on your behalf. There is a reason I did not press this seriously before, because he is only a few years older than her and the behavior is common among boys his age, but something else drove me to see you and your son today that I felt this needed to be discussed to get to my point."

Grateful for the mercy concerning his son, Lord Kensly nodded and asked, "And what is your point of visit, your majesty, that the bullying of your sister becomes insignificant?"

"On the night of the Summer Ball, a friend of your son's, who had taken my sister as escort, took my sister off the premises, where upon she was attacked." they gasped at this. "I have serious reason to suspect it was the same friend, the boy who escorted my sister, that committed the crime, however upon visiting their manor I found it abandoned. As you can see I am at a twist in the one road where I cannot afford it and it seems your son can very well set that twist straight for me."

Kensly looked at his son sharply but asked the prince, "What is the name of this friend?"

Cambyses answered, "Lucas Duan. I am looking for his brother as well. I believe your son knows where they might have run off to."

"Tell him boy," Kensly barked at his son, who was trembling even further, to the point of a mental breakdown. "Tell him right now before I lose my patience!"

Kysle looked over at the prince, tears in his eyes. "They...that's not his name."

"What?" Cambyses asked, frowning. "What are you talking about? That's what is registered on their papers."

"Lucas Maçon is his real name," Kysle said. "And he, with his brother, returned to Roskovo the night of the attack."

"Roskovo?" he asked. "What is the meaning of this? I will not be taken for a fool!"

"For Gods sake son, answer the man truthfully!"

"I am!" he cried. "Their father rules there...it is a large continent south of Figaro, further south than charted, and surrounded by islands on the northern approach. I...I've been there, during my Summer training last year. I have seen it, I have."

Cambyses did not know what to make of this information. Just because the boy claimed he went someplace, that a place existed, did not mean it did, nor did it mean he was telling the truth of what the men's names really were. It was clear he was going to need to press him tighter, with the aid of his father. He was the only one who knew where they could have gone, truly.

Now annoyed and very angry with the direction of the lies, Cambyses shook his head. "I apologize Lord Kensly, Lady Abrianna, but I must take your son back with me to get the truth of this matter, since he refuses to tell it here."

"I swear it is the truth, I swear it! I can tell you everything that I know about what he did to your sister, too!"

That froze the blood in his body to ice. Slowly he turned to face the boy, eyes wide with rage. "What did you just say?" The boy, realizing his fault, swallowed and looked away. "Answer me!" his parents were pale with fear of what else could be revealed. Abrianna was sobbing but she looked at her son and pleaded for him to just tell the truth, that the price of lying would be worse than the truth at the start, but the boy started to cry.

"Son, listen to me," Kensly said, walking over to take his son by the shoulder. "You need to tell your prince the truth of it all, for if you do not, there is nothing we can do to stop the outcome. For the wrong that you have done that girl you should already be at the gallows at their whim, but he showed you mercy and promised to get it from his father...this is worth considering, isn't it? Tell him what you know, what happened, and maybe he will stretch that mercy further. If you can't do this for yourself, do it for your mother, for to her the world means little without her children."

"I can't," he cried. "I will be put to the gallows for sure. I can't, I can't."

Kensly gripped harder. "There is a noose for you at the end if you keep your mouth shut, Kysle. Your only shot at mercy, at life, is to tell him the truth and tell him here."

"I..." he looked at Cambyses, knowing he had no other choice but the absolute truth, in fear of what could be if he kept it secret and it was found out or revealed by the princess. "I was there." he started slowly, very much aware of the horrible anger in the prince's eyes and the expression of terror in his parents' eyes. "I met your sister back at Thamasa," he admitted. "We lived there for a few years. I went to Cambidge with her...and..." he took a breath. "I was the boy you caught bullying her."

The memory struck a new cord of anger in the prince. "You were that snot-nosed..." he took a breath to calm himself. "Continue."

"After that happened, I was expelled, a professor had told my parents that I had bullied a little girl. It has followed me since. I had to start at a new academy here, a level down than what I should have been as penalty for the behavior, and it ruined everything for me! I was a kid and I did something stupid and I had to pay for it for the rest of my life? I was angry and...somehow Lucas knew about it. He found me one day at Sunset and told me everything. He knew things he shouldn't have and he told me that if I didn't help him, he would use it to crush my family's business, their lives...everything. At first I accepted because of that but..." he stopped for a moment.

"I said continue!"

"...but I accepted because I hated your sister." he admitted, suddenly far more angry than afraid, and facing the prince with eyes that told it, no longer crying. "She ruined my life. It is a permanent mark on my manuscripts. I can no longer be a knight. I can't even submit an entry form for the Golden Lions initiative! All because I made a mistake as a kid! I hate her!"

"Kysle!" his parents cried in a plea to stop.

"It's the truth," he snapped. "So I did as Luke asked. I...I bullied her more to create opportunities for him to win her heart, and then at the ball he had...he had me and the others—"

"The others?" Camb cut in. "What others?"

"The girls," he answered. "The girls who hate Emma, who beat her up in the halls?" Cambyses knew their names. Now he had more people to see, now for more reasons. "He had us bring her out of the ball to the woods. The girls told her there was another dance and she believed them, so we went to Elric's Manor."

"And?" he prompted hotly, now knowing where the story went now—in horror to know who the 'we' were—but wanting the boy's parents to hear and absolutely hate their son. To disown him. To destroy him as Camb wanted to do that moment as the realization of what had happened, truly, to his sister swept upon him. His anger swelled. "Tell them what you sick bastards did to her!"

"What is he talking about?" Kensly demanded, furious. "What is he talking about?!"

He paled but looked down as he continued. "We...we raped her" he let out a sob that showed just how much it had been weighing down on him. "If—if you are going to kill me, just do it already!"

Abrianna fled from the room in sobs, but Kensly stared at his son as if he was looking at a stranger, at a monster. He looked away and called his soldiers in. His son looked at him pleadingly but his father no longer could see him. "Escort Kysle off the property and turn him over to the Royal Guard with his majesty the prince."

Knowing what the cells of Figaro meant, that the quick and easy death he had been wishing for for days would be taken away from him, he looked at his father. "Father?" he asked. "Father, please! Don't let them imprison me! I...I can't go there, I can't!" Kensly turned to his wife, ignoring his son, and helped her up and out of the room. He continued to ignore the boy's cries to help him, but there was no longer a father before him, but a Lord sworn to the Crown.

Cambyses watched as the boy was cuffed and dragged out of the room, knowing full well that the custody and revelation of what Kysle's involvement was meant bringing this to his father, as well as the apparent information of his sisters' other rapists. He just hoped he could present it in such a way that it did not break Cadence's promise to his sister, and therefore the tender heart of his sister.

••••••••••••

When he arrived back at the castle with Kysle in his custody, he began to formulate a means of a lie. He found it relatively quick. He would say he meant to find Luke to hear who had ran off with Emma, found that Luke was gone, went to Kysle for help and heard, for the first time, what had happened. It went through several dialogues of practice and some back story to keep the weak points out of it, and Cadence's involvement or attempts to get Emma to talk, and felt good with the results. The distraction of the answers it provided would keep them from pressing for the minor details, anyway.

The Figaro soldiers immediately transferred the boy to their custody and then to a proper cell beneath the castle, and he issued the D'etello soldiers away and made his way to find his parents. To his absolute lack of luck, they were engaged in a discussion over uniting as a supportive front for Emma, with his uncle and aunt awkwardly standing aside, unsure of what to say or do at the shouting match.

"A specialist? Of what? I cannot believe you want to put our daughter in a room with a stranger and expect results when she can't even speak about it to us!"

Terra's temper, so hard to coax out of its shell, snapped. "If you would just visit her you would understand why I suggest it!" Edgar backed down immediately and looked away. As cruel as her words were, it was the truth.

"Father, mother," Camb said, stepping in to stop their fight. The last thing Emma needed was to hear her parents fighting over her assault. He didn't know much, but the way Cadence had presented it to him, it sounded like she felt at blame. The guilt needed to stop, and it began here. "We need to talk immediately, so put a pin in your childish argument for a minute." they complied sheepishly, and his uncle asked if they should leave.

Edgar nodded. "Please, just give us a moment, if you would?"

"Of course," Sabin said gently, escorting his wife out of the room.

For the next half an hour, he told them what had happened and the truth he had gotten from Kysle. Terra could not stop crying after hearing not only those who had harmed Emma, but that her daughter had been made to suffer it multiple times. Edgar was pale and stiff, and unable to speak, staring at his son as if he stared off into space.

"Lord D'etello put him in my custody immediately. I have him in the cells." he hesitated. "As hard as this is for you two to hear, there is more that we need to talk about. The name that Lucas had given us and the academy manuscripts was forged. Kysle claims his name is Lucas Maçon, born to Bertrand Maçon...the reining king of a country known as Roskovo."

"Roskovo?" Edgar finally asked, voice soft. He hadn't felt the brunt force of what he had heard yet, but it would surely hit him later, perhaps when he was alone to his feelings.

"A land mass to the south, in uncharted waters," he explained. "Kysle claims to have been there."

Terra was still crying. At the moment the location of her daughter's rapists meant little to knowing the true horrors that her daughter experienced. Cambyses put a hand on his father's shoulder. "Father?"

He shook his head. "We must keep this to ourselves for the moment. If this were to come out before we can tell it, the council will not be pleased, and at a time like this we cannot afford to deal with them and their eventual quest to have my daughter's honor name removed, as well as publicly declared impure."

"They wouldn't..." he started, but shook his head. They would. "Of course." Cambyses muttered softly. "What do we do about this 'Roskovo' and the bastards who did this though?"

"I will have Suon and Hals prepare a ship to see if this place truly exists. If this is true, I will discuss it with them privately. A decision must be made, I know, and I shall give it when I have thought on it."

Terra lifted her face from the comfort of her hands. "What about Emma, Edgar? What do we do about our daughter?"

"Continue as if you know nothing," he said, facing her, finally revealing tears in his eyes. "We now know why she did not want us to know and if you and Celes are correct, she will need to come to you on her own about it. I just hope she can put her trust in you before my decision is made and I must present it legally." he then looked at his son and walked over to hug him, gratefully and yet in a way that showed just how hurt he was. "You have done well Cambyses...I shall take it from here. Please...go see your sister for your mother and I while we talk."

Cambyses waited until his father let go before he turned and left the room quietly. He knew if he had spoken, he probably would have broken down himself.

••••••••••••

Terra did as instructed. She kept the secret of knowing even when she faced her daughter every day and wanted nothing more than to hold her tight and sing to her any song and pray to the gods should it would bring her comfort, but she couldn't. Not yet. It would crush her daughter if the truth had been found out that way—through the mouth of one of her rapists and put into the world. To have her name tarnished.

She was always sure to be with her daughter every moment of the day that she could spare (sometimes ignoring her own needs like sleep) and when she couldn't be, Celes or Karin took her place. No one knew how she would react if any other male had strode into the room, though Celes was insistent that her requests to see her brothers proved it wasn't nearly as bad as they thought, but they kept it to the three women at first regardless.

They also tried every other day to get Emma to talk about what happened so it would not hurt when it was forced to come out through the Crown, using any tactic they could, but it seemed to shut her down more and more. It was beginning to make Celes doubt herself. Soon after, Terra took the woman aside and told her everything, so that she could understand why Emma was so reluctant and afraid to talk about it. Celes was horrified to her core, and felt so much pity and sadness for the poor girl she didn't know what to say.

"It is incredible she's even able to deal with it the way that she has," Celes admitted after a moment, trying very hard not to cry because she knew that if she did, so would Terra, and that was something she wanted to avoid completely. She was sure if it was hard for her to hear, it must have been unreal for Terra and Edgar (which she now understood his reluctance too). How do you even talk to your child after that? What do you say? How do you comfort them? She was extremely grateful her daughter did not have to go through anything remotely similar.

"We must not mention it to her," Terra repeated softly.

Celes nodded. That was obvious even without being said. "We should have had the seas properly charted after the world was changed. We might have known about this..."

"We aren't even sure if that is even true," Terra said. "The scout hasn't returned yet, and Edgar won't say anything to me. He's locked himself in the war room with Suon and Hals, and Sabin. I'm her mother, and the queen, and yet I sit in the dark..."

Celes leaned over to touch her shoulder. "Edgar is just trying to handle this the best that he can. There must be a reason he is keeping this a secret. When has he ever been dishonest with you Terra?"

She was quiet. That was certainly true. Edgar was always honest with her, even when she felt he shouldn't be, especially when it concerned things the council got upset over, such as fragile secrets only the king should know. If he was keeping this secret, it was for good reason. Perhaps it was being kept as long as possible so he can push off letting the council know what had happened to the princess of Figaro.

The thoughts led full circle back to her daughter. "What should we do today with Emma?"

"I do not think we should push her today, so I say we do whatever she wants. I think giving her normalcy is important. If she wants to act like it didn't happen...perhaps we should let her feel it for a bit."

"It is worth trying," Terra agreed, before they both headed off to the girl's room.

When Celes opened the door and turned to close it, as Terra walked in, she shrieked and ran over to the bed. Startled, Celes hurried in to see what the problem was and saw that Emma was lying on the floor in a crumbled heap, having accidentally rolled off her bed. Terra helped her daughter up. "Good heavens! Are you okay, my sweet girl? What happened?"

"I—I didn't m-mean to, I just—just f-fell." she stammered.

Terra smiled. "Of course you didn't mean to." Once Emma was up on her bed, they saw that she had bit her lip upon impact and it was bleeding steadily down her chin. Celes found a handkerchief and Terra dabbed it away. "There, that's better."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be, it was an accident," Celes said sternly, finding a spot on one of the empty seats beside her bed. "Your mother and I were thinking—" that caused terror to pop into the girl's eyes. "—and we wanted to know if there was anything you wanted or wished to do? We have plenty of free time, so the sky's the limit." Emma glanced at her mother, unsure, and found that she was smiling in agreement.

"Can...can we go see Ben?" she finally asked after a moment of consideration. The request made the two women pale visibly. They didn't know how to answer and that was clear enough that even oblivious little Emma caught on easily. Her brother didn't want to see her. Tears burned in her eyes at the realization. "I—I mean..."

Terra took her hand. "It is just he isn't free to see anyone." she lied, and quickly, causing Celes to look at her questioningly, not very much in a manner of disapproval. "He is with your brother, looking into your assault. He wants to be of help."

"Oh," she muttered, tears clearing as she believed the lie as quickly as it had been given. "When—when can I see him?"

"As soon as he is free, I will drag him here," Terra forced through a bright smile. "Now, is there anything else you might want to do?"

Emma chewed her lip in thought, forgetting about her new injury long enough for the pain to come back, before flinching and stopping. She found her answer. "Can we—we r-read?" Celes started laughing with Terra at that, confusing the girl. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Terra said through her laughter, waving her hand to brush aside their scene, though Celes was still giggling. "We would love to help you study."

---

As the days grew into weeks, the process of the princess' healing went steadily, to the approval of medics and the grateful nerves of a tired and worried mother. The girl was getting restless too, having spent much of her time since the assault in her bed or by the window. She barely did anything for herself too, making her frustrations grow. She had regained strength in her arm enough to read and study herself, and was showing growth in her recovery enough to start scribbling. It was still painful but the girl was excited over the change, even if she had seemingly lost the talent she used so often.

The thing she missed the most that Terra found herself substituting for was the ability to play her piano. Since it was out of the option to bring in a professional to play for her, Terra did her best with the knowledge that she had. It sounded as if a student was playing but Emma enjoyed it so much that she kept asking her mother to play for her every noon, smiling at her but never telling her how horrible her playing was. Terra suspected it was the act that meant so much to her, and so pushed through her own ineptitude just to see her daughter smile and relax—perhaps even forget just for a moment.

Eventually the day came when Emma grew too restless to be pleased with their mobility and tasks. One morning Terra walked in to see her daughter trying to get out of bed. She had startled the girl so thoroughly she collapsed to the floor in a sharp shriek of surprise. When Terra rushed over to provide assistance, she found resistance—her daughter wanted to try herself. Terra let her try several times before forcing her to accept help.

"You can't support your own weight yet dear," she said, softly. "Your legs just aren't strong enough, and your ribs haven't healed and...and you just not there yet."

"I want to walk," she said sternly. "Please mother, please help me."

And so Terra went to her husband with the request, who was more than happy to provide his daughter with something in his absence. He improved upon some crutches with a stronger body, softer handles and adjusted it so that his daughter could use it more comfortably for long periods at a time—if she ever found the energy to do so, of course. Emma was so excited over them she never bothered to ask who had made them and begged her mother if she could try them out immediately.

Terra conceded and found herself giving in to her daughter's reckless attempts to push herself every morning, until the girl was walking about with her crutches without permission all around her room. At first she worried greatly, but she was assured by the medical officers that it was a good sign. If her body couldn't carry her just yet, it would help to move around with supports whenever she had the energy to do so. So Terra let it be, until finally Emma started begging to see her brothers. It meant leaving, and so the problem of the stairs came to mind and that was when Terra finally put her foot down and said no.

She hadn't gotten around to talking to her youngest son yet either, and if Emma bumped into him, she would know the lad wasn't out on some grand mission to get justice for her. She would know he just didn't want to see her or talk to her. So Terra fearfully put guards at every stair case and even at her room, so that if the girl tried to leave, they would stop her. And the princess did try, though only once, when she opened the door and saw a strange man standing there. She slammed her door shut and stayed in her bed for the rest of the day, terrified.

It made Terra feel horrible, but she knew she spared her daughter an even greater pain when it came to her brother. And so Terra's days were spent dealing with her daughter, trying to convince her son to see his sister and asking her husband what he was doing. Most of those things ended in failure, but she was grateful for Cambyses seeing his sister as often as he could afford. It was obvious to Terra that, even if he didn't feel the same way as Benjamin, he felt some sort of shame and guilt that wouldn't allow him to see her as freely as she did, but whenever he was with her he was kind and obnoxious like a brother would be—like he was before the attack. He kept himself from referencing anything that might set her off or make her remember, but overall it seemed like Emma very much enjoyed his appearances and his attempts at normalcy.

And despite the fact that her daughter still refused to discuss what happened to her, in any way, Terra saw that her daughter preferred it and found her happier when she wasn't made to remember it, so she let it go, even though it deeply pained her. She knew the day would come that her daughter would be forced to accept the fact that, despite how she felt, the truth would come out.

••••••••••••

"It it time to wake up, my sweet girl," Terra said, throwing the curtains open and inviting in the hot, bright sunlight of a typical early morning in Figaro. Her daughter grumbled and rolled over so her face hid into the pillows. She smiled and said, "I have decided you may leave your room today and spend it in the garden, under the sun. I already took down your art supplies, so you should try to stretch those hands of yours, too."

"I don't want to," she said from under her blankets, voice muffled.

"You have been begging me to leave your room for a while now though. What has changed?"

"I don't want to be around any—any soldiers," she admitted, still hiding. Terra frowned and walked over to take the blanket off her daughter.

"I have already guessed as much dear, so I made sure to clear the garden and instruct the soldiers to remain out of sight and to leave you be unless absolutely necessary." her daughter did not answer, so Terra shook her gently. "Now get up, you have a big day ahead of you."

Finding it difficult to get her mother to back down, Emma finally relented and was helped among her morning activities. Once she was cleaned and dressed, Terra helped her down the stairs—abandoned except for a lone maid cleaning—and into the garden just below her room. Just as her mother said, she had instructed the soldiers to leave the area, so the place was utterly empty. Her drawing things were left by a small pond, under the shade of a huge willow and where the nice breeze could reach her.

Terra helped her down to the grass and sat down a fresh sketchbook after setting aside her crutches. Emma looked at it with disinterest. She hated drawing now, but her mother refused to let her leave it in the past. "It is said that the best road to recovery is plenty of rest and exercise, so here," she sat a box of pencils down. "We shall start small though and build from there." Instead of leaving her to her mandatory attempts at drawing, Terra took a spot beside her and read through an old book Emma didn't recognize.

Finding her presence oddly comforting, and encouraging, Emma looked around for something to draw. There was certainly a lot to pick from, from plants to animals, but she decided on the rose bushes across the pond. With a trembling hand, mostly driven by her raw nerves, she picked up her lead pencil and began sketching out the scene. She tried with all her might, for nearly two hours, but every sketch was a horrible mockery of what she once was capable of.

Her mother encouraged her with kind words though and told her it was lovely. Emma knew better. She looked down at the mess that was meant to be the rose bushes and sighed. Her eyes went from the drawing to her fingers, scrapped and scarred, and her thoughts wandered to the night at the manor. She closed her eyes against the memories, begging them to go before they dug too deep into her flesh, but she could see them all as if they stood before her once more; laughing, smiling, touching, kissing. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she struggled to forget.

Go away, go away, please go away.

She trembled fearfully when she felt Luke's hands touching her and then she threw aside her things, catching her mother's attention. Upon seeing her daughter's tears, she gasped and took her into a tight, loving hug. "Oh my sweet daughter...please tell me what to do, what to say, to help you." Emma only wept in her mother's arms, too afraid to speak. After a moment, Terra hugged her even tighter and, wanting to take her daughter's mind off of what was tormenting her, asked, "How about we head to the kitchen and see what we can make to eat, hmm? I'm sure Rosalee restocked the pantry with sweets." Emma sniffled and nodded. "That's my girl."

They went to the kitchen slowly, careful not to agitate Emma's weakness, and once inside began eating through their collection of sweets. There were freshly baked pastries, filled or not, cookies, muffins, chocolate from Jidoor, freshly frozen ice cream, cake, and more, though not even Emma could eat it all. She took pieces of everything and made the ultimate sweet snack with the ice cream. Terra wanted to chide her but withdrew her complaints. What was the harm with a spoiling every now and then?

At the moment she was scooping spoonful after spoonful of the extremely sweet mixture when, to Terra's dismay, her second son strolled into the kitchen quietly. Emma's back was to him, so she hadn't see him yet, but he saw her. He froze and his eyes went to his mother. She waved him away quietly, pale with fear and worry. She had told her son to stay away from the eastern portion of the castle until he was given the clear. Why had he dismissed her?!

He made a move to turn on his heels and flee, but that's when Emma turned to her glass mug of milk for a drink but saw him instead. Her eyes lit up in a way Terra hadn't seen since the assault. Emma smiled at her brother. "Ben!"

He swallowed back the reply he wanted to give, looked around nervously, and said, "Emma...um..."

"Do you want to—to join us?" she asked, wiping the back of her hand against her sticky mouth. Beside her Terra silently pleaded for her son to just help her this once, but the young man was not going to provide assistance. Emma frowned, unsure of what was wrong but certain something was. "Ben?"

"I—I have to be someplace else." he turned and fled the room. Emma was staring after him and didn't noticed that Sabin had come into the room from the other side, just behind Terra.

"Emma?" Terra asked after a moment of silence. The girl looked back at her ice cream, shame, embarrassment and grief written clearly on her face. Terra reached across the table to take her hand. "Sweety..."

"He doesn't want to see me..." she whispered, now crying. I knew it, I knew it! Why did I have to even survive? Why?

"That's not true," Terra tried, squeezing her hand. Emma ripped her hand away and looked at her mother with anger in her teary eyes.

"You lied to me! You knew he didn't want to see me and—and..."

"That's not it, Emma, I just...I..." she was unable to think on what to say. "I just wanted to—"

"Your mother didn't lie to you," Sabin said, walking further in. Emma looked at him quickly, surprised to see him. She hadn't seen him since... "And it isn't like he doesn't want to see you, it is that he feels he can't see you."

"That's a lie and you know it!" she shouted, reaching for her crutches, too angry to do it calmly and dropping one of them. Terra went to reach for it, but Emma snarled, "I don't need your help!"

"That's no way to talk to your mother," Sabin snapped, walking over and picking up the crutch, to keep it away from her. She reached for it desperately from her seat, trapped and aware that the distance was too great but was too angry not to keep trying. "She has only ever loved you and provided for you, even now. Do not take out your frustrations and pain on your mother!"

"Give it to me!" she cried.

Terra paled. "Sabin, please, give it back to her, it is okay."

"No it isn't," he answered hotly. "Benjamin is just hurt Emma. He doesn't understand why it happened and what to do to help you. He doesn't know how to speak to you anymore and—"

"He's hurt?! He doesn't understand?!" she repeated, confused and even more angry.

"Yes. It isn't to say you aren't, just that he is too. It isn't comparable, but it is there. You just have to give him time. You just have to give yourself time." he held the crutch out to her, which she ripped out of his hands and immediately used to get to her feet, though she tripped in the process a few times. "And with time, you will see that even the horrible things that happened to you can lead to happiness, and love even, you just have to be willing to let it."

"Sabin, please, just let her go—"

Emma glared at her uncle. "Nothing comes of this kind of pain, nothing but...but..." Terra listened carefully. It was the most she had open up since the assault that she had forgotten she just wanted her daughter to feel safe and happy, and at the moment she did not. She shook her head and tried to move passed her uncle, but he stopped her.

"I promise you Emma...this isn't the end. You can come through this. Pain is just an obstacle. I went through it, too, that kind of pain. There is something you don't know Emma, but I think it is time that we...that I told you."

"What do you know about pain?!" she cried, no longer crying or sad but entirely angry. "You are nothing but an idiot!" finally she fled the kitchen, awkwardly due the crutches and nearly falling the entire way. Sabin sighed. Terra knew who he was about to tell Emma about his daughter and went over to bring him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Sabin...I'm so sorry."

He patted her back. "I should be saying that to you Terra, not the other way around..." but Terra knew that was not the case. Her daughter was still with her, even if she were broken and terrified and sad. She hugged him tighter, thankful for the small measure of mercy that had been bestowed upon her daughter and horrified that Sabin's daughter had not seen that mercy.

••••••••••••

Terra decided not to test her daughter any further. It was clear she was upset and wanted to be alone, so she went to find her husband and talk to him about their son's behavior, and even his. He was at his study, going over the most recent maps of the new world. The newest had been hurriedly completed by a cartographer Setzer hired on Edgar's behalf, but even then such a task required more than that given.

"Edgar, we need to talk about our daughter." He moved the map away and motioned her to sit beside him and continue. "She just found out Benjamin has been avoiding her and...oh Edgar it was terrible. We need to do something."

"I know Terra, but what? We can't force him to go and it wouldn't be helpful at that point, since our daughter would know the truth."

"Well then maybe we can tell her we caught Kysle? I think it would do her good to know one of her..." the word froze in her throat. "...of her attackers have been found and charged."

"As soon as we tell Emma, the council will know. I will do it if that is what you desire, but you need to be aware of this first," he said quietly, watching her face carefully. "I have been trying to put it off until I can determine the truth of this 'Roskovo' and if true, secure Luke and Eric, but it is beginning to look like that might not be for some time."

"What then?"

Edgar rubbed at his eyes, exhausted already. As if dealing with the assault on his daughter wasn't enough, he had to consider the appearance of a potential new kingdom, the backlash from the council concerning his daughter and now the behavior of his sons, and most of all, how to even face his own daughter. He remembered the letter he had written her and wondered if she read it. When he asked his wife, she had no definite answer, but she did tell him she never found the letter afterward.

He took that positively. "Then at the end of the month I will hold the dinner I promised her." he leaned back into his chair. "I just hope we can help her..."

Terra took him into a hug, mostly for herself. "I hope we can too."

---

Alexander had attempted to enter the castle several times but was turned away. He didn't know what to make of it, but he wanted to see Emma and ask her how her dance had went. So far weeks had gone by and the soldiers still refused him entry. He tried sneaking by them but the security had been so drastically improved that not even a leaf could blow in undetected. Even the garden outside of her room was heavily guarded.

He rarely saw the royal family either, and even less so of Cadence. When he did see her, she looked heart broken for reasons she did not explain nor could he guess. He grew curious, so one day he went to Sunset academy to search for Emma but found that, according to some kids there, she hadn't been there in weeks. Now he was really confused and worried, but he still found the soldiers unwilling to speak or let him in when he expressed that feeling. He tried to spend his time after by keeping his mind off of the princess and although it barely worked, he found it the only solution.

Today though proved to be the day he learned what was going on, and he very much wished he could forget it.

He was in his room in the capitol flipping through the pages of some book he had seen in Emma's room. It was concerning the monarchs of Figaro and was rather dull, as it held no content just notes on the family tree, and wondered why it had made it on Emma's book shelf. As he flipped through to the recent entries and caught a glimpse of Edgar and his close family, he guessed why. Images of her brothers were connected to Edgar and Terra's names and images, but under her name there was no image.

That annoyed him, but he understood that with her being in Thamasa and the book having been updated less than two years ago, it made it difficult. So, without an image of her in the book, he decided on using his own sources to make the comparison. He lined up the images of the boys to their parents and determined they did, in fact, look related. Next he opened the drawer to his desk and took out an image of Emma he had 'acquired' from the halls of the castle, where the images of the royal family hung, and compared it to her brothers and parents.

His heart stung at what he saw. If she been born with different colored hair, it would have been very hard to see the similarities. He never noticed it before, as he always got lost in her eyes or pretty smile, but it was clear as day the differences were immense.

She was looking for proof of her lineage, he realized, touching the image of her. He flipped through the pages to see the faces of the women before her on her father's side and saw that she took no resemblance to any of then. She probably looks like someone on her mother's side... he got up and dug through a box on a shelf over his bed, found an image of himself as a young kid and then went to his desk again for a more recent photo he had of his family.

Once he had them, he lined it up and started laughing at how pudgy and idiotic he looked in his pre-teens. "The gods had mercy on me," he said aloud, still laughing. He looked longer then, glancing back at his father and mother, and paused a moment later. He didn't look anything like his parents when he was younger, but looking at his brothers, they did. Comparing his recent photo to his parents though, there were strong resemblances, even if they were minor details among many other unique ones.

He smiled. Give it time Emma...I'm sure you will be the spitting image of your mother. Though he certainly hoped not. He adored her different kind of beauty.

There was a knock on his door. "Alex? Cadence is here waiting for you in the main room." it was Loreto.

That was strange. She hadn't visited at his house in some time now. He went down stairs to the main room and found that she was waiting with his parents. He smiled at her. "Please tell me you have talked sense into the king and queen? I would like to see Emma and ask her about—"

"Now isn't the time to discuss that," she cut in. "Alexander, I would like it if you were seated when I told you this."

"What, why?" Alex asked.

Setzer and Maria looked at him with pain in their eyes. "Just listen to her and sit down, son, please." Complying he sat down. "Now you must swear to me that once you have heard what she has to say you will not do anything foolish. If you can't swear that to me, then you will not be told what it is."

Alexander looked at Cadence, teary eyed, for just a second before he nodded. "I swear."

Setzer took his wife's hand and patted it soothingly as Cadence started. "Alexander there...there is no easy way to say this, so..." she paused for a second, to keep herself from crying and then said, "On the night of summer ball dance, Emma was lured away from the castle with several boys and girls." he didn't like the feeling building in his chest. He lifted a hand, to indicate for her to stop but she had not seen, as she wasn't looking at him. "Lucas and his friends...they...they hurt her and...and raped her." she finally said, stammering, holding back more tears.

It felt like his heart had stopped. His ears started to ring and he felt so hot he would melt. It took his mother asking him if he was okay for him to realize he was crying. The only thing he was thinking of was what she was feeling, was what she might have felt during it all. The questions, the fear, the grief, and betrayal. He felt a sea of rage build in his chest then and he wanted nothing more than to kill Lucas with his own hands, to rip away the last shred of the man's life away slowly and painfully, if it would just give her an inch of closure.

He was prepared to ruin the world for her.

First he needed to make sure she was okay though. He needed her to know he would do whatever it took to help her. He got to his feet, the ringing in his ears gone but the rage still swarming about wildly in his heart. Cadence paled and tried to hold him away from the door even as Setzer got up to help. "Alexander, calm down! Please! You can't go over there!"

"Let me go! Now!" he howled, tearing her hands away from his arms easily. His father grabbed him by the arm and proved far more difficult to remove. "Let go!"

"You swore you wouldn't do anything foolish boy!"

"I just want to see her!"

Maria got up and took her son's hand gently. "Listen to me Alex, my dear boy...you can't go over there, not right now. You do not understand the pain she is going through right now and your presence could only confuse her and upset her. Terra and Celes say that she is extremely fragile right now, would you want to risk her recovery by barging in because you want to see her?"

Alexander looked into the eyes of his mother, unsure of what to do. He wanted to run to Emma and hold her in his arms, to make her feel safe, but he knew that his mother was right. That she was most likely feeling something that could not be described. That she would be afraid and confused, and feeling alone and...guilty, he thought, picturing her crying in her bed. The emotions he felt then almost made him push by his mother and run to the castle.

He took a breath, shallow with raw emotions, and nodded even as tears gently ran down his cheeks. He knew they were all right.

"I know you care about her," Setzer whispered, letting his son's arm go. "but you are making the right choice. When the time comes though, she will need your support."

Cadence brushed away more tears and leaned over to hug the young man. Alexander wrapped his arms around her, realizing she was feeling just as useless and worried as he was, and let her cry in his arms.

---

That night Emma could not sleep. Her mother had left her be, where she would normally sleep in the room with her, so Emma had plenty of time to think on her brothers and father, finally able to piece everything together. Their absence made perfect sense now. It wasn't because her brother was busy training as her brother lied to her or finding the identity of the people who had hurt her like her mother lied about. No. Her father and brother were ashamed of what had happened and were unable to even face her without feeling disgust.

Her thoughts had been true all along. A small part of her, the naïve and stupid part of her, wanted to believe they wouldn't shun her or hate her for her mistakes, for what she made Lucas and the others do to her, even if it was childish to hope for. It also meant Relm and Gau would turn her away.

Who else could she go to now? Her parents and her guardians were the only people she had to live with. She knew it was very likely that they would send her to one of those academies they had discussed earlier—that she was meant to go to before it all—but she also knew that the locations they had given were still too close and might not fit. She thought then of the lonely, cold castle-like academy west of Narshe, a weathered down castle not yet in the snowy, blizzard parts but close enough to be impossibly cold and bleak.

The only good part of that was that she would be close to Mog and Umaro, but would they even want to see her too? She wanted to believe Mog was different than everyone else—he was a Moogle, after all—but she couldn't be sure. Of anything. And that wasn't even considering what the council would do when they found out, because she knew it was a matter of when and not if. They had been gunning for her since as long as she could remember, especially Brud.

Where will they send me? Will they give me to the council? Terrified, she pushed herself up straight and looked out into the darkness of night. If it came down to that, she would throw herself out of the window. She would rather be dead than face any possibility like that. The threat to herself didn't even startle her. It was something she had come to the conclusion of entirely at that moment.

If only I knew what I did wrong, she thought, tearfully remembering her assault as if it were happening that moment. Why did they hurt me? Why do they hate me? The memories made her heart sink and she reached up to press her hand against her chest, as if unbelieving her heart was still beating. It was rapid. She could see Lucas' face, smiling at her though it mocked any happiness she once felt for that smile and those eyes. She shut her eyes and trembled.

One of the worst parts of it all was that she did not understand any of it, only that it had hurt and made a hole in her that she could not forget. She could not feel safe anymore and she couldn't even sleep without remembering and fearing it all over again. She couldn't even ask her mother what had happened to her. How could she even begin? What were the words, even if she somehow came across the courage to even ask it?

She reached up to knuckle away hot tears and looked out the window again as new tears replaced the old. Maybe she could find her answers herself. There was never a question asked not answered by a book, and if there was such a book, it would be in the royal library (or across the ocean useless to her).

It was settled.

Whenever she could get out of her room without anyone seeing her, particularly her mother, she would try to get to the library and find her answers. For now she laid back down and tried to get sleep. When it found her, it was haunted with memories.

••••••••••••

Cambyses had spent the last few days acting as an ambassador between his family for his little sister. His brother still refused to see their sister, his father was too frightened to visit her and his mother was too willing to visit her. He tried to explain to his mother that Emma needed some time alone, if only to give her some time to accept that it happened, but his mother would not have it. Not even when Cadence and Celes said the same thing.

"You have to understand where she is coming from, Camb," Cadence said as they walked down the northern corridors. "It is her daughter."

"I understand it, I do, but she has to realize that Emma needs time to cope. Alone."

"Maybe Terra is right," she said, frowning. "Maybe Emma doesn't want nor need that time. Maybe she needs family. She...she isn't like the rest of, after all."

"Emma is still a human," he told her a little sharply. "She may be weird, but the fundamentals are the same. Family being around is a good thing, definitely, but everyone needs personal space." Cadence was quiet. She did not have anything to say. "It is useless to talk about it now. Will you see her today?"

Cadence looked at him, shocked. "You said you would join me. Why, has it changed?"

"You know why I can't," he grumbled. "I have to deal with Kysle and his legal hearings. Father is too busy with the generals and placating the council to keep them off the scent of what is really happening."

"You promised me though," she said, pulling him to a stop. Her brows were furrowed in anger. "And I told her we would be coming over. Do not make me a liar."

Cambyses sighed. "Alright...fine. For a little while and then I must go."

"Well," she said, releasing his arm. "It is better than nothing."

It took them only several minutes to reach Emma's room, cutting through soldiers busy with their morning routine and servants cleaning. On the way, Cadence had them stop by the kitchen. She took a small bowl and, despite Cambyses' urges to hurry, took her time in finding what she thought Emma would like to eat. And then when she was done, and only when she felt she was done, she continued on. He followed behind her, pink with embarrassed because she could control him so well.

Outside Emma's room, she hesitated and handed over the bowl to Camb so she could fix her hair and then his. He frowned. It wasn't like this was some date. Emma saw him with messy hair all the time, and he had seen her the same. It took him a second to realize that Cadence was just nervous, and sad, and then he stopped fussing over it. How lucky was he to have found the perfect woman, one who could care for and love his family as if it were her own?

She knocked several times before she took the bowl back and entered the room. He waited a second before following her in. Inside, he found Cadence setting the bowl down at the table and walking towards Emma, who was at the mirror, leaning her weight on one of the crutches and trying desperately to brush her hair with the other free hand. He had heard she fell the other day and hurt herself. Now he understood why their mother didn't want her walking about so freely as if she were back to perfect health.

"Hold on Emma, hold on...let me help you with that." she said, gently prying the brush out of her hands and then guiding her back to the bed. Cambyses looked around the room, suddenly curious as to how they managed to make it here when his mother was not around. Cadence was brushing Emma's hair now.

"Thank you," his little sister whispered, lowering her eyes. Ashamed. He sighed and went to one of the chairs his mother brought in to sit. For half a second her eyes lifted to look at him before lowering again.

"No need for that," Cadence said, finishing with her hair. "Would you like me to braid it?"

"N-n-no, thank you," she looked at Cadence and then him quickly. "W-w-why are you here?"

"Can't a brother visit his sister? However annoying she can be sometimes?" he teased, relaxing into his chair.

"Cambyses," Cadence warned, eyes seething. It meant no teasing would be permitted in her presence, but he did not know how to act around his sister otherwise. He only ever teased her, even when he wasn't doing it to hurt her. She laid a hand on Emma's dainty shoulder with a smile. "We wanted to check up on you, Emma, to see how you were doing. And regardless, I had promised you that we would come by, remember?"

"Oh," she mumbled and then with a pause, clearly thinking, she said, "I'm okay...really." there was a tone to it that very clearly said that was not the case. Cambyses leaned forward, curious and a little worried.

"Would you like us to stay, to do something with you?" Cadence asked, very sweetly. Sometimes it was hard to resist her the way she smiled or the way her eyes shined with motherly warmth.

Emma looked away, nervous. "N-no, that's fine."

"Are you sure? My schedule is clear for the day. We could do whatever you wanted."

Cadence looked over at him, eyes wide, full of adoration. His day was anything but clear. She smiled at him as Emma fumbled under the invitation. "I...I don't want to be a b-b-bother..."

"You wouldn't be," he said, lifting himself out of the chair. "I promise. Now, what would you like to do?"

Emma quietly looked at Cadence, as if to confirm it was okay, before looking down at her hands, fingers twisting in her lap. Cambyses was sure she was going to decline again with the way she seemed to withdrawn into herself, but then she said, "Can...can we go to the chapel?"

"Sure," he said, smiling. "How about the chapel and then we go to Incard's Pub? I hear he's selling a new kind of cake, triple chocolate with caramel."

Her eyes brightened and he laughed. Around the time after she first arrived at Figaro, their father had taken her to the pub one day, while they were waiting for her papers to be accepted to the academy. She had loved the food and drink so much she had asked and asked every day for weeks to go back. They ended up going back together, as a family, three times before she seemed to decline in health again and their mother refused once more to allow her the sugary, sweet laden life most kids had and took for granted.

"Really?" she asked, in complete disbelief. "For true? We could go?" she sounded so excited, so much like his little sister, that he was startled. How long had it been since he saw that? Since the attack weeks ago, but yet it felt so long ago. He was so dumbfounded by it, so saddened by it, that he wasn't paying attention to her or Cadence.

"What is this pub you are talking about?" she asked, laughing.

"It—it is the b-best!" Emma said a tad too loud, too excited to contain herself. "They have t-t-this huge p-platform where d-dancers and bards dance and p-play and—" she seemed to have froze simply from the excitement before hurrying on. "and you get to w-watch from large seats and eat all k-kinds of food and drinks."

"It sort of is the best," Cambyses managed to say, digging himself out of the trench he had dug himself into. "Some of the musicians they rent out are among the best, too. I think the last one that signed for the pub became an Opera singer."

"She did, she did," Emma said quickly, smiling. "Can we really go Cambzez? M-mother and father won't m-mind?"

"To the gods' hell with their senseless worry, I say," he smiled when her smile grew even brighter. "We'll go as soon as we are done with the chapel...assuming Cadence doesn't mind?"

Cadence laughed, happily. "I wouldn't mind whatsoever."

"Then it is settled," he said, walking to the door. "I will be back in fifteen minutes. Cadence, would you mind helping my sister?"

"Of course not," she said, wrapping an arm around Emma, who looked at her brother, eyes displaying an unreal sort of gratitude. He gave the ladies a small bow before ducking out of the room, rather quickly. Fifteen minutes was not enough time to deal with what he had to do, but it certainly wouldn't be impossible if he hurried and threw about the weight of the crown a bit.

He raced down the hall and, upon absolute luck, he bumped into Suon carrying a few documents in a haste. "Suon! There you are!"

"You were looking for me?" he asked, confused. "I'm sorry, my prince, but your father needs me and—"

"This will take a moment," he said quickly. "I need you to send Wren or Jakle down to Incard's Pub and buy out the entire place on order of the crown. I don't want a single person in there other than staff, and by that, I mean I want staff out of sight unless they're a performer on a stage."

"If I may ask what this is about—"

"There's no time to explain. Can you do it or not?"

He sighed. "I'll send Wren out before I see your father. Is that all?"

He smirked. "Nope. I need the chapel cleared too."

Suon stared, as if it were the most ridiculous thing to ask of. "The chapel? The thing that dozens of people visit a day? You want me to clear it out?"

"You, Jakle, Wren...I do not care who you pick. I need it cleared before the pub."

"Let me get this straight," he mumbled, his stance relaxing and his brows furrowing. "You want me to send someone ahead to clear not only the chapel, but at the same time send someone to buy out the pub, and you want me to do this all within...what?"

Cambyses glanced at the nearest grandfather clock. "Twelve minutes. The pub should be easier because it'll take some time to get to it and then back, would it not? The chapel is the priority this minute, but the overall priority is the pub."

"May I ask, my prince, what this is for?"

"Does it matter?"

"No, not to me, but to the men you want me to rip off current duties or out of a free day it might matter. We're running a tight ship right now, after all. Most of our forces are on security watch and your father has made it clear they are not to be relaxed, under any circumstances."

Cambyses said, "It is for Emma, if you must know, now hurry it along. We're running out of time." he patted the stunned general's shoulder. "Good luck!" and then he hurried off.

His next stop was the warden of the prison beneath the eastern portion of the castle. He barely made it in time to be able to return to Emma in the time he put down. The warden was surprised to see him.

"Prince Cambyses, you are late. I just assumed you weren't coming in today."

"I'm not," he said quickly, just a little out of breath. "I need you to hold it off until the morning. Is that doable?"

"Anything is doable for the crowned prince," he said. "I will find a way to delay the speakers."

"Thank you, Warden Gaffirion," he said. "I'll be here for sure in the morning. There is just something I must take care of today."

"I understand," he smiled. "Go, go, before they appear and see you. Would make it a bit difficult, wouldn't it?" he chuckled when Cambyses ran back up the stairs into the halls.

••••••••••••

Emma couldn't understand why her brother was acting so strange, but she was grateful. The idea of going to the chapel and pub had taken the thoughts of wanting to know what exactly happened to her, if only for a minute. And as Cadence helped her into clean, suitable clothes (suitable to her, at least), she prayed that it would distract her again but for much longer. The thoughts were just too painful to endure much longer.

She wanted to ask Cadence about it, almost came close several times, but she found her courage slip from her hands the second her mouth opened. What could she say? How could she start that conversation? And so with a defeated sigh, she let it slip, hanging off the knife's edge of hope that today would banish the thoughts from her mind. However unlikely the hopes and prayers were.

Cadence noticed the rather sour direction of her mood and asked her what was wrong. "Huh? Oh...nothing."

"I know that tone," she said, sitting down beside the girl. "You can talk to me Emma, I promise."

"You...you didn't say anythi—" the door opened and Cambyses came in, rather winded. Emma clamped her mouth shut immediately, finding the strength to say what she wanted to vanish in just a second.

"I'm done ladies," he said, taking a gulp of air. Cadence giggled and stood to kiss the side of his face. Emma was horrified by the sight of it, recalling Lucas and the others immediately. She tried to hide that terror by looking away. Why would her brother and Cadence do something like that? What was wrong with them? "Shall we be off, hmm?"

Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wouldn't let her fear get ahead of her excitement. She wanted to go to the chapel, to pray, but she wanted to go to the pub and recall sweeter memories that seemed decades old now. She was determined.

Forget, she told herself fiercely. Forget it. Forget it. The memories were creeping up the sides of her mind, claws digging deep into her thoughts. Forget it...

You can't, her voice whispered. You can't and you shouldn't. Never forget. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the thoughts to go, to ignore the voice. To ignore her insanity.

"Emma?" she opened her eyes. Cadence was kneeling in front of her, frowning. "Are you okay, dear? Do you need rest?"

"No," she said, struggling up off the bed. Cadence quickly handed her the crutches after attaching them together into one piece, just a little nervous. "I'm fine. Let's go." she wouldn't let her voice or her inner demons win. Not so easily.

Outside, they found the halls to be abandoned. Not a single soul remained. There were no soldiers marching by to monitor security and no servants dusting, sweeping or cleaning. Emma had no doubt her brother had cleared everyone from sight and that was what he had been doing when he vanished for nearly half an hour. And she knew, as they got closer and closer to the chapel, that it would also be cleared. Although it shamed her to find it comforting, she did. She knew it was wrong to fear so many strangers, because she knew most people would not hurt her or snicker or stare in disgust, but fear wasn't logical most of the time. And she really did find comfort in the isolation from others whereas before she feared it so greatly.

She wanted to desperately thank him, for him knowing without asking, for doing without telling, what she would have preferred, but there was a bubble of uncertainty in her chest that made the words hard to say. To look at him directly, to voice what was too difficult to say. It was painful, but she loved him even more now. Maybe, just maybe, she had been wrong. Maybe he hadn't meant to hurt her all those times teasing her or poking fun. Maybe he didn't mean anything by it.

And, as they cleared the arch into the northern portion of the castle and she feared the sight of others in the tranquility gardens that raced around the entire northern inside court yards, she reached shyly for his hand. Her heart thumped so terribly and she knew there was a blush on her face, but she just wanted to be near her brother. The brother who had saved her from her bullies, who thought of her in a friendly way and played with her even when he felt he was too old for it. To be near one of the few people who didn't seem to fear talking to her after her assault.

Where she was sure he'd tug away and come up with some excuse to pass her off to Cadence, he didn't seem to think much of it. She relaxed and found the small courage to lift her eyes ahead of them, to over come the fear of being seen, and saw one of a dozen paths out into the garden, which all led to the chapel at the other side.

As they passed out under the bright sun, the fear started to bubble to the surface. She tightened her grasp on her brother's hand, aware that her breathing had gone shallow. Moving the crutches became more difficult under that new weight. Cadence must have noticed too, because she reached out to touch her shoulder, to reassure her.

And then they were across the garden, walking into the wide open room of the chapel. A column of pews were on each side of the room, facing a marble and stone platform. A single statue, faceless, sat at the center under the burning side from the stain glass windows behind it. The floor around it was adorned with various flowers and knotted bands, and unlit candles.

There wasn't a single person in the chapel. Not even the cleric or vicar was within sight. She smiled, relief flooding through her. She had never been in a chapel empty before. There were usually a few elderly folk and if not them, her security detail or a cleric. She looked around, marveling the beautiful architecture and stained glass.

Cambyses let her hand go, so she could lean on her weight through the crutch and admire the chapel more thoroughly. "Would you like help to one of the pews?"

She looked at him and he froze. There were tears in her eyes. Looking into them he saw an indescribable pain, a depth of abandonment fears, and a desire for something she didn't quite know how to voice. What's more, looking at her, he felt so shameful, so pathetic, so pitiful.

Why had the gods decided to do what they did to her? To such an awkward, naïve and trusting young girl? He wished he could understand their motives, but it was out of his reach.

"Thank you," she told him, through a small sob that broke a piece of him. That reminded him of just how terrible he had been to her.

Cadence reached out to touch the girl's hand, knowing without asking how it was going to make Cambyses feel and the girl herself if they stayed there any longer. "Come Emma, I'll take you to the alter." she helped the girl down the nave to the alter, situated at the head of the apse.

The faceless statue rose at least a dozen feet above her and basked in the golden sunlight. It was one of the most beautiful things in the world to see. Emma clumsily knelt at the base of the statue, setting her crutch down. She ducked her head to the statue and closed her eyes and then clutched her hands together. Cadence immediately knelt and joined her, while Cambyses took a seat in one of the pews.

For a long moment the sound that carried through the chapel's vault and gallery, echoing, was the chirp of birds and the gentle whistle of wind. Cambyses watched the scene with a great sadness in his heart. Finally, Cadence lifted her head and glanced over at the princess, waiting. Emma continued for several minutes longer before relaxing into a straight position with a sigh that was more sob than anything else.

Cadence, without a word, reached over to pull her into a hug. She let Emma sniffle for a moment before getting up and helping the girl up. "Be strong," she whispered to Emma, just so she could hear. "Always have faith things will be better Emma, always."

Emma rubbed her hand against her nose and nodded. "O-okay."

And then Cadence smiled. "Now let's go get you stuffed with all the sweets this amazing pub of yours has." Emma giggled and accepted her help to retreat back down the nave to her brother, who had went to stand at the archway of the chapel.

He smiled at them. "Are you ready?"

Emma looked back at the chapel momentarily before she nodded. "I am."

On the walk to the exterior stables, Cambyses had noticed his sister's growing exhaustion but he knew that if she wasn't saying anything or was purposely trying to hide it, it meant she really wanted to go the pub. And that filled him with some hope, even if he knew she'd fear it if more people were there. He was grateful for the strangeness of his sister then, because he knew her extreme adoration of things she liked was the only reason she was going to an open place, even if it were inside the walls of the castle.

He glanced over at Cadence and saw that she was whispering down to Emma with impish smiles and little giggles. She was saying something he wasn't supposed to hear and Emma was clearly smitten by it, because her little smile lit up all around them like the sunlight had to the chapel. He chuckled to himself. Cadence really knew how to get his sister to smile and laugh.

"...perhaps if you are up to it, well not today of course but soon enough, we could go to an actual Opera. My mother can get us tickets to any show for any seat, whenever you want."

Emma hesitated. It was clear she did not want to make any promises, still unsure. Cambyses watched, considering her mood. "Well..." she paused for a moment. "well...I mean...m-maybe, if...if..." she did not continue after that, not knowing how, but Cambyses and Cadence perfectly understood what she was going to say—maybe if she was feeling up to it.

Cadence said, "Whenever you feel up to." Emma suddenly stopped, causing them to stop too. She was visibly tense, and had suddenly looked away from them, towards the ground. "What's wrong?" she looked at Cambyses then, tears in her eyes.

"Emma?" he asked, frowning. Their mother would kill him, beat him to a pulp, if he hurt her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, lowering her eyes. "I...I'm feeling tired and..."

Cambyses looked over his sister to Cadence, wondering if she caught the mood. She did, for she shook her head in a way that suggested not to ask the girl questions. He wasn't going to, but the questions did burn at him. She had seemed so excited to be able to go to the pub, and he was certain she knew it would be cleared, but yet...

"It is alright, Emma, really." he ruffled her hair about, which thankfully still annoyed her greatly. "The pub will always be there. Maybe, whenever you aren't tired and feeling up to it, we can all go. As a family."

"You...you aren't mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" he asked with a small chuckle. "I was glad to have spent the time that I have with you, but I was more glad that you got to do something other than mother's strict isolation methods of curing."

Emma sniffled, rubbed a hand against her nose and then leaned over to hug him. "Now, come on...not the tears." he held her back, smiling. "Cadence will escort you back to your room. I'll fetch mother. She's probably going on a hysterical tirade right now because you are missing, so she needs to be calmed before she sets the kingdom on fire." she giggled, rubbing more tears away. "Good. Cadence, you don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all. It is considerably more fun without a stubborn male around anyway, isn't it so Emma?" she merely lowered her eyes, trying to hide the amusement she found in the remarks. "I will see you later, Cambyses." she took Emma by the hand and turned them back around.

Cambyses was lucky enough to bump right into his mother during exactly what he thought would happen. She had three guards with her and was in a frantic search for her daughter. He felt so guilty after seeing her face and realizing the terror it must have put in her heart. He should have told her prior but he wasn't sure if she would allow it, even if Emma was willing to leave her room.

"Mother, please, calm down," he said, pulling her aside into one of the empty storage rooms. "I know I should have told you, but it was all so sudden and I didn't want anything to discourage Emma from leaving her room."

"I thought something happened to her, Cambyses!" she shouted. "You could have sent a guard to me! You...you could have included me!"

"If I told her we had to wait for you, you know she would have declined to leave."

Terra looked alarmed. "What? Why?""

"She would have felt pressured, because she's scared..."

"Scared? Of what? Me?" she asked, horrified.

"No, not of you..." he sighed. "...she's scared of scaring you. She knows she's not alright and she knows that it scares you. She knows it scares Benjamin, and father...everyone she knows and loves. Cadence and I, well, we're just people she's not afraid will be terrified of her fears."

"What kind of nonsense is that? Of course I'm scared, but I'm scared because I'm worried about her, not because..."

"I know you've seen it mother."

Terra looked away. It was clear she had. That was one of the many reasons they all knew Emma did not want to talk about it or leave her room. She couldn't face the judgments she thought the world, her family, would give her for what happened to her and how it changed her. How it made her so frightened. Finally, with tears in her eyes, she looked up at her son. "Did...did she like the chapel?"

He smiled and reached out to bring his mother into a hug. "Things will get better mother, you just have to give her time. Her own time."

••••••••••••

When they arrived back at her room, Emma was quite surprised by how exhausted the walk to the chapel and back had made her. The sight of her bed was such a welcomed sight that when she was finally sat down on it, she dropped her crutch and fell into the soft, warm blankets with a tired sigh.

Cadence knelt to pick up the crutch and set it aside nearby for her to reach before she sat down beside the girl. "It is probably for the best that we did not take you to the pub. Your mother was right, after all. Your body has healed tremendously, but it isn't at a stage where you can just waltz about yet. If I had caused you pain taking you so far..."

Emma opened her eyes to look at the woman. "I'm okay, Cadence, r-really."

"And I'm glad for that," she said with a smile. "I have to remember to be more careful with you though. You are still hurt."

Was it so bad that it was all people saw? Her weakness? She didn't feel so broken, at least not so bad that she couldn't get out of bed or walk. Although it was still sore to do much, or it tired her out rather easily to do too much without rest, she felt considerably better than she did when she first woke up after the assault. Did she just not know how to explain it to them? Was she mucking even that up? No. They were just worried. Worried people acted that way.

They think you are some weak babe, her voice hissed. A babe fresh off the teat, of all things. Emma shut her eyes against the voice. No. She would not listen to it. She would not. Do not think me so easy to ignore... the voice said, as its words wisped away like smoke to the wind.

"Emma? Might I ask you something?" Emma sat up, with a small grimace, and looked at Cadence. "Were...do not get mad at me please for asking this, I do not mean harm but...were you really tired or did you just wish to come back to your room? I mean, it is okay if you weren't and you changed your mind, but..."

Emma frowned. "They were there..." she whispered, looking away, tears burning in her eyes.

"They?" Cadence echoed, confused. "Who?

With a sob, she said, "Alexander's b-b-brothers."

For a moment the woman didn't say anything. Emma wasn't sure what it would sound like to her, but she could not help it. The moment she saw them the fear had quickened in her heart and she could not go any further. If his brothers had seen her...if he had seen her. It came upon her, the realization, that the fear might have been entirely of that alone. She didn't want to see him, and she didn't want him to see her.

"I see," Cadence finally said, softly. "You don't have to be ashamed of how you feel Emma, or of telling me about the things that frighten you. I may not know the depths of your pain from the perspective that you do, but I do understand that it is painful for you. Unbelievably so. I would never force you to do or say anything that might upset that fragile peace you have between feeling safe and feeling frightened. And neither would your brother. It is okay to fear these things in your place."

"It...it is?" she asked, sniffing.

Cadence took her hand and squeezed. "Of course. We all deal with pain in our own ways Emma. It is how we heal and adjust with the tremendous trauma we have been dealt. And you, dear girl, have been dealt a strike that needs plenty of attention. You must tend to it as you see fit."

Emma looked at her with tearful eyes. "I'm sorry I'm like this," she said quietly. "I...I really am."

"Enough of that now," Cadence said with a stern gaze. "I will not hear that. This isn't your fault and you are not to be held at some sort of guilt because you wish to go through this pain your own way. And believe me Emma when I say this—no one is blaming you either. You need to stop tormenting yourself like this."

They are lies, the voice hissed back into existence. Lies! She tells all that would listen what you have revealed to her. Do not trust her. Not ever!

No! Cadence wouldn't! She wouldn't!

She would! For she is no different than those who torture you! Who hate you for simply existing! Look at her! Do you think such a woman would ever consider us as more than anything but annoying? We mustn't let people take advantage of us, not any longer!

No! she screwed her eyes shut, tight. I won't listen to you! Go away!

"Emma, what is wrong? Are you okay?" Cadence was touching her now. There were tears in her eyes, but Cadence would never know the tears in her eyes were not from physical pain. From remembering Luke and the others. It was from struggling against the piece of her mind that had left her, that broke.

Ask her then! Ask her! See the lies in her eyes and know!

Emma opened her eyes, tear stricken, and looked at Cadence. "Did...did you tell anyone?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

See! She avoids the question!

"Did you tell anyone what I told you?" she asked again, searching the woman's eyes as they widened.

"I told you that I would not, not until I could think on it." when the girl looked away, Cadence took her by the shoulders. "Why are you bringing this up all of the sudden? What happened?"

The voice hissed angrily. She's lying. Why wouldn't she tell? Why?

No more! She told the voice. I will not take your venom! Go away! with a snarl, the voice left her. For now. "Emma, please...talk to me."

"W-w-why can't you p-promise not to say anything? Why?"

"Emma...you aren't thinking clearly. Your trauma is causing you to think that—"

"No, it isn't!" she shouted. "I don't want anyone to know!"

"I realize that," Cadence said softly. "I do, but just because you want something or feel something doesn't mean it is right to give it to you or to allow." Emma blinked at her, dumbly. "What I mean is...you do not know what is right for you. You are too young and too hurt, too traumatized, to understand that keeping this a secret does not help anyone—not you, not your family and not any other woman out there who could be hurt by those who hurt you. Your mind is conflicted—biased."

"I'm not stupid!"

"No! That's not what I meant!" Cadence shouted, startled, frightened. She had not intended her words to be conveyed that way. She stood and took one of Emma's hands. "Listen to me Emma...you just can't understand what is right to do right now because you are involved in the problem. Because you are, justly, hurt by what happened. I promise you this though; I will not tell anyone, not until I have had time to think about it and only then will I go to you first and discuss it with you again, okay?"

Emma knuckled her tears away. "You promise?"

"I promise." she pulled the girl into a hug. "I do not want to hurt you Emma. I just want to help you."

Help me? Emma thought. How could she expect to help? What did Cadence think she thought she could do? Why does everyone think they can help me? What could they even do? She knew they meant good, that their intentions were pure, but yet Emma could not help but feel fury in her little heart by it all. No one can help me, because nothing can help. She pulled out of the woman's hug, which greatly confused her.

"Help me? How?"

Cadence looked startled by the question, as if of all the things to be asked, she did not expect it at all. "I know that I cannot magically make things better for you or take all your fear, worry and pain away, but I want to help you however I can. I'm here for you if you want to talk, to scream, to cry, to sit with quietly...anything Emma. Whatever you want."

Whatever she needed? Emma wasn't even sure of what she wanted, unaware that was exactly what the woman had meant. She looked away from the woman's beautiful, warm eyes with a sigh. Maybe Cadence knows... she thought, looking back at the woman. Maybe she can tell me what...what happened to me. She took a breath. "Cadence...can...can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can. What is it?" How to begin? She struggled for the right words. Would 'what did they do to me?' be enough? They had done so much to her, so she wasn't sure it was. She knew nothing could be done, or explained, if she didn't at least try but yet it was so painful to even begin. "Emma?" she pressed quietly. "What do you want to ask?"

She began to speak only to look away. "Nothing. I—I think I just need rest."

Cadence stood with a small smile that showed she knew that Emma had just gotten frightened by the question in her heart, but she was kind enough not to say anything about it. "That's alright. You do need your rest." she leaned forward to hug her one last time. "I will see you later, when you are feeling better." and then she left quietly.

When the door closed, Emma dropped to her bed and covered her eyes, and her tears, ashamed by her cowardice. It seemed as if the library was her only chance now.

••••••••••••

Emma woke to the gentle sound of rain the next morning. She peeled her eyes open and gasped when she saw that the rain was pouring into the room and all over her window sill. She hurriedly tossed the blankets off of herself, grimacing at the pain, and stumbled towards the window. Her legs buckled and she went face first into the floor with a loud 'ugh!'.

She crawled towards the window sill, lifted herself up and shut the window quickly with a relieved sigh. Her pillows and seat were soaked, and she knew she would not hear the end of it when her mother found out. Stupid, stupid, stupid, she chided herself, tears burning in her eyes. As if she hadn't made too many mistakes already to make up for! When she got to her crutches and was up on steadier legs, she went to hide the pillows and then covered the cushion seat with spare sheets, so that it couldn't be seen, and then finally went to her morning tasks. It was the first time she could try to do so herself, without her mother hovering about.

She sat quietly in the water, her mind stuck on her nightmares. She closed her eyes and tried to forget the pain of that night, but it lingered. No, she thought, crying, remembering Lucas. Please...I just want to forget. I just want to forget. It was as if wanting to forget made it harder to. The feel of Lucas' hands on her made her grimace and smashed her fists into the water. Go away! She begged, smashing her fists over and over again into the water, ignoring the horrid pain that ripped through her body from it. It was as if he had claws in her, unable to ever let go. I hate you! She cried. I hate you so much!

She remained in that bath until the water was cold and the hour went by, and only then did she have the strength to move herself. She knew her mother would be upset if she found that she made herself a bath and washed herself, but hopefully the anger wouldn't be so bad when she saw that it ended without incident. When she was finished and dressed, she gathered her crutches and peaked out of her door.

The soldiers were gone.

That confused her but she thanked the gods for the luck and hurried down the staircase at the other end of the hall. It would mean taking a detour that would cost her half an hour, but it was better than using the main stairs where she knew she could run into her family or soldiers for sure.

The royal library came into sight soon enough and to her surprise, yet again, there was not a soul around. It was Sanus, so she supposed that the scholars or staff were out on a Free day or worship. She made sure she was alone by peaking around shelves and turns and when satisfied that she was, she went to the index ledger and scanned through it.

After a moment of looking she realized she had no idea what she was looking for by name and paused to think. It was a shame there wasn't a way to search by description, though she feared even trying that. She knew there had to be a way to figure this out though and find what she needed, but what? She rubbed a finger against her itchy nose and looked up at the huge walls packed utterly with hundreds and hundreds of books, tomes, cartography tubes and more.

Then she found her start. Anatomy! She went to the index and searched through it for 'A'. Shelf one through five in section 1. She hurried over as fast as she could to the first shelf and started scanning through it. She found several books, some in series, and carefully maneuvered them out of the shelf. She could still not support too much weight so they all ended up plopping down to the floor, though thankfully intact. From there she gathered them up one by one, arched her back some and carried them to a far off, darker and lonelier corner of the library.

Her first task was to go through the books. She knew where to start, embarrassingly enough. She paled at the detailed images of the male bodies and even made expressions of disgust when she saw some of them dissected. Gross, gross, gross, she thought, flipping the page as she was ready to throw up. And then she found a relatively 'safe' page graphically and began reading.

A word popped up often enough for her to gather that it was what she was after, all in minor references that linked to other literature. Intercourse. Coitus. Sex. She went through the books she had four more on it, but the details were vague, pointing to other sources to read. She then carefully stored all of the books she had back and went to the index to find some of the sources she was pointed to. She skipped to 'B' and found that there were less books on Biology than there was on Anatomy. Either way she went to the listed shelves and collected them.

They were two in quantity but hefty in size. She sat them on the table and decided to start on the smallest volume. She went to the index and scanned through it for the word listed. She found several entries; 'sex', 'sexual reproduction', 'sexual selection', 'copulation', and 'procreation'. She started with a few of them and spent hours reading over it, confused by the technical terms at first. She easily understood most of the things it was explaining in the chapter under the name 'reproduction of the human', such as fertilization and whatnot, but she couldn't know what this was, or if this was what she was looking for, or rather...what was done to her.

That was, until she flipped the page. Then she froze, and she was horrified. Trembling, she could not take her eyes off the depiction of the man and woman engaged in coitus. Her eyes widened and she felt hot tears trail down her cheeks. It was just like what Luke and the others had done to her. She must have sat there staring at the image for hours before she found the courage to read the text following the depictions detailing the necessity of sexual reproduction for humans, again affirming what she had previously read.

It was done between mates, each, in some way, equal in wanting of one another. Often having found each other through some sort of cultural or primal declaration of acceptance of the other, modern interpretation or ancient, it was there in the text. Humans did that willingly. They went through all of that pain, fear and humiliation all of the time just to reproduce. Her parents have had done so to create her and then something clicked in her head. A question that made a bubble of fear grow in her heart.

Is that what it is like for mother? she wondered, terrified as she thought about her father hurting her mother like that. Tears swelled in her eyes. Was it like that for all women? Was it something they got over in order to have children or be with the men they loved? However, that only meant that they were willing participants, which meant she was either a biological anomaly or she truly wanted it as Luke had said. She shuddered at the memory, repulsed. No, she hadn't wanted it...at least she didn't feel like she did. She had wanted Luke to like her though, before the attack...maybe that was showing willingness enough or even acceptance?

It is my fault, she realized. She had fallen for Luke and shown him her affections and acceptance of him and he took it as... she swallowed back a dry cry. He hit me though, and he let the others hurt me too. Is that part of it? Does father hit mother? If he doesn't, can sex also be used as punishment? If that was true, what had she done to deserve such a thing? Was it refusing her father and mother's decisions on her requests or decisions at all? Was it because she had said something she wasn't supposed to, particularly to Luke? Or was it something else entirely?

Confirmed now, she understood it all, and so much more. All the strange jokes her brothers made, especially at supper, only to be scolded fiercely by their parents, the way the soldiers spoke about women or even looked at them. All of it. Is this what they didn't want me to learn at the academy? She finally asked herself, looking away from the books, deep in thought. It had to be it, but why keep it a secret? Was it so that when used as a punishment it would hurt more, or was there something else to it? She laid her head against the table and cried. Why did so much make so little sense? Why was she so far in the dark on so much?

When she finally felt better, at least enough to move, she put all the books back so that her parents would not find out and made her way back to her room, and stared into her mirror. What does this make me? She cried, a fury growing in her heart. What will they think of me? I just want to forget...I want to leave these memories behind.

They are with us, forever, the voice told her, not with the same condescending and angry tones as it usually gave. We are what we have endured. Emma squeezed her eyes shut, unable to argue, for once, with her voice. There was pain in that voice, just as Emma had felt. Thick and agonizing, as if a knife ran down her spine. In this, they were the same. In this, they were inseparable. And all Emma wanted was a release from the shadow that followed her, from the terror that gripped her heart. To forget, even for a minute.

She smashed her fists into the mirror, over and over and over again, until her fingers were shredded and poured red down her arms. She trembled as she looked at the streams running down her arms, wallowing in that different pain—that pain that took away the old, even for a few seconds. Tears burned in her eyes as she caught her reflection in the shattered, bloody pieces, the thoughts of Alexander eating her heart whole.

She began again.

••••••••••••

Terra had come to accept what her daughter felt about her. It came to her not as a realization her daughter hated her, that much Terra understood easily, but rather as the fear of the worry she presented. Terra did not offer salvation or peace for her daughter, and what lick of it Emma could find, it lied in her eldest son and that of Cadence Cole. To be unable to provide security and peace to her daughter was the greatest pain she had felt yet, but it was also relieving to know someone could in her absence. There was not a part of her that could blame Emma, either. There was just pain-pain for herself and pain for her daughter.

Determination rested in her heart though. If Emma found more peace in solitude and others, Terra would nurture that flame in hopes that a future not bleak in pain and memories awaited her daughter. She would from here on send her son and Cadence more and more to her daughter, if she could manage.

Arriving at her daughter's room, she cleared away the trouble in her heart, and quietly entered. It would do no one good, especially Emma, if Terra disturbed the little sleep she managed on her own.

The room was dark when she entered. The curtains had been drawn completely shut, and all the lights—electrical or fuel—had been turned off. "Emma, my sweet?" she called into the darkness. "It is nearly noon. I would otherwise not disturb your sleep, but it is well passed time to receive your medication and to break your morning fast." there was no answer. Terra carefully made her way across the room, sliding her feet across the floor so as to avoid tripping over something, until she made it to the windows.

"Heavens," she said, pulling the heavy curtains open with a hard yank. Light flooded the room with such intensity, even Terra had to look away. "Really, we ought to do something about..." she stopped herself when her eyes caught the shattered mirror by the dresser. "Whatever happened to your mirror?!"

Emma sighed heavily from underneath her blankets and rolled away from the light of the window. "Emma! Answer me!" but her daughter was quiet, as quiet as a mouse. Terra stormed over to her and took the blanket off. "Why are you ignoring me and..." she paused at the bloody prints all over the bed and took a step back, horrified. "What...what is this..." Emma did not answer, and that's when Terra saw her hands. They were almost shredded to pieces, with dried blood running down her arms and new pricking beneath where the cuts had dried. "Oh my gods!" she took her daughter's hands and lifted her up straight. "What have you done?!" she cried. "Emma, gods!"

Mechanically, her daughter answered, staring at her hands cradled in Terra's. "It was an accident..."

An accident? She glanced at the shattered mirror, terror gripping her heart. Terra knew then...this was no accident. Her baby had hurt herself. Tears burned in her eyes and she looked back at her daughter. "Of...of course it was," she whispered, reaching up to brush hair from her face. "Of course it was."

Once Terra had set her daughter's hands and cleaned away the broken mirror, and was of course certain her daughter was eating, she slipped away and all but ran down the halls in search of her husband.

When she found him, he was disbanding a meeting with Suon and Hals. She waited until the doors were closed before she burst into tears and hurried over to her husband, to hold him. He drew her close to him and asked her what was wrong, but it was a long moment or two before the breath came to her and the strength. The words were difficult to get through, but when she had finally told him what had happened, his eyes were wide and full of tears.

"No...no you are...you are mistaken. You have to be, Terra!"

"I know what I saw!"

"Then it was just an accident, as she had said!"

"You do not think I would know the difference?!" she snapped. "I'm telling you Edgar, it...it was no mistake!"

Edgar looked away, letting his tears fall. "Gods..."

"What do we do?" she asked him. "What do we do, Edgar?!"

He sighed. "I...I don't know. I don't know." he knew the only real solution lied in someone staying in the room day in and day out, but that was unacceptable. Unrealistic. "Short of imposing a twenty-four hour guard on her, I think the only think we can do is watch her and take away anything that she could hurt herself with."

Terra sniffed and hugged him tight. "How do we get through this?"

Edgar wrapped his arm around her and squeezed. "We just do, Terra."

••••••••••••

It came with great effort for Terra to quietly attempt to steal her daughter away from her violent thoughts. She wanted to talk with her, to help her, but there were no words that seemed to reach Emma. She was quiet and distracted, and barely ate anything now. Terra was not sure what happened to suddenly change her daughter into this shadow, but she suspected it was from the rape. Why had it taken until now for this to manifest though? It was filling her with dread. The fear that this would only escalate and escalate until Emma was no longer just hurting herself.

That first night Terra went through the room to collect anything sharp. By an hour, she had filled a small box and there was still more throughout the room that worried her. The sharp edges of the dressers, the steel and hard wood that comprised her bed frame, the metal clasps on her clothes chest, everything in the basin room and the window. The window terrified her. She gave the box to a soldier and asked him to take it to her quarters and then had another bring her a lock from her husband's work room. Emma was thankfully still asleep when she began locking the window with the lock. When she was through, she brought in a kettle and her best teas for energy, and sat to watch her daughter all night.

The second day was as difficult as she thought it would be. Emma woke to her changed room with unease and distrust. Terra did not know how to approach why she did what she did, but she knew she had to try.

"It...it is for your own good." her daughter sighed and rolled away from her mother's gaze and hid herself under her blankets without even a word. "Please, I am only doing this to protect you." Emma did not move. "You were hurting yourself, Emma." and yet she still did not respond. Terra decided not to push any further than that, afraid of what might happen.

On the third day Terra considered talking to Celes about her daughter, but as she left the great hall with a tray of food, she knew that would not do. When she arrived her daughter was not in bed. Instead, she sat at the side of her bed away from view, under one of her blankets. Terra sat the tray down and went to pull the curtains all the way open. Emma narrowed her eyes against the light but otherwise didn't move.

"I have brought you something to eat," she said, sitting down beside her daughter. "All of your favorites...I will give you however much you desire," she reached out to gently pull the blanket down from her face. "If you would just say something to me." Emma looked away. "Why?" Terra asked quietly. "Do you not trust me? Love me?" but her daughter would not answer. Tears filled her eyes. "I don't know what it is you are going through, I know I can never understand your pain, but I want to help, however I can." Terra took her hand and squeezed, hard. "Please...just speak to me...please."

And yet her daughter was silent and still as stone. Terra sighed and got up. "Your food will be on your dresser my love...eat, please." and then she left just as quietly as she had entered.

The fourth day saw a drastic improvement, if Terra could call it that. When she entered the room, her daughter was up already, this time sitting beside the window with her crutches set beside her. The curtains were partially pulled open. Terra sat the new tray of food on her bed and hurried over. "Emma, are you okay?" when she knelt, she was surprised when her daughter turned to her with tears in her eyes. "Oh my love...just tell me what is wrong, tell me so that I might fix it." as soon as she took her daughter into an embrace, her daughter reached to hug her back. "My little angel...I will protect you. I will keep you safe." her daughter just cried and cried. Terra soothed her the best that she knew how, smoothing her hair down and rocking her. "I promise you, it will be okay. You are safe here."

When it seemed as if she were calmer, Terra sat aside her hesitation and brushed hair from her daughter's face. "I know you do not want to talk any of what happened to you or why...why you have been hurting yourself," Emma's eyes widened. "I know that. I don't know how painful it is for you, but I can understand the pain is unbearable. I won't try to force you anymore—maybe I cannot help you as a mother ought to be able to. I have come to terms with it." she didn't of course, but she needed her daughter to understand something. "All that I ask is that you try to stop hurting yourself...that is all that I ask."

And then suddenly, her daughter started to cry again, only this time she kept saying she was sorry, that she was so sorry, but Terra knew there was not a thing for her to apologize for. This was just one of the only ways her daughter now knew how to release her emotions. So she held her daughter and continued to soothe her late into the day. When the sun began to drift away, Emma had fallen asleep, though it was fitful. Terra knew she could not carry her daughter to her bed, so she gently laid her on the floor and went to get a few blankets and pillows for her. She created a small mattress beside her daughter and then carefully went to transport her to it. Thankfully her daughter was often a heavy sleeper.

When she was through, Terra decided to leave the food behind, close the curtains and leave Emma to her privacy for the remainder of the night.

On the fifth day, just two days before the scheduled dinner, Terra knew she was running out of time to talk to her daughter about it. A part of her hoped that Emma would decide to stay in her room, because she knew that Benjamin would be there. And he wasn't even the only problem. Edgar still hadn't spoken directly to Emma. So she went to see her daughter with the hope that she would, like any other time, deny the dinner.

Her daughter was awake, though she laid quietly in her bed, staring at the roof. Terra made sure to check around the room quickly for any sign of self-harm before she approached. "I have brought you breakfast," she said, sitting the tray on the night stand beside the bed. "If you are feeling up to eat, of course." those pale, miss-matching eyes still stared at the roof. "If it isn't what you want, I can always bring you something else."

And then suddenly Emma turned her eyes to her. "I'm not hungry..."

Terra felt such relief. It had been days since she spoke. She shook her head and sat down on the bed beside her. "We both know you are hungry," she reached to brush hair from her eyes. "Now, sit up and eat for me, my dear." Emma sighed but otherwise complied." That's my love." she leaned down to kiss her forehead before getting up to tidy up the room she had been neglected for a few days now. The bin with all her clothes was nearly full, so Terra deposited the contents into the shoot inside the closet that led down to the laundry—one of Edgar's finest designs, certainly—and went to tidy up the basin room and prepare a bath for her daughter.

When she reentered the main room again, her daughter had finished her food and went back to staring at the roof. "Praise the gods," she said, smiling, hoping the laughter in her tone might ease her daughter. "You ate!" she went over and helped her up straight. "I started you a bath, just the way that you like it."

"...okay."

"Here, put your arm over my shoulder, yes, like that. Alright, I'm going to lift you up to your feet, brace yourself." Emma hissed painfully when more weight than she was accustomed to was put on her legs. "I know, I know," she whispered, lifting herself up so that weight could be taken off her daughter. Emma sighed, relieved. Assured she was okay, Terra carefully walked her into the other room.

Once she helped her daughter out of her clothes and into the basin, she went to bring up fresh towels and clothing. When she returned, her daughter was still as stone, staring at the wall across from her with such intensity that Terra was taken aback. "Emma, whatever is the matter?" her daughter looked at her then and frowned. Terra sat the items down and went over to her side. "If you prefer the silence, I will grant it, but you need to know I will not let harm come to you. You are safe here."

Emma's eyes burned with tears. "I know mother...I know." she sounded so defeated, so alone.

Terra exhaled. All of the worry of the week had began to drain from her sharply. "Then what is it that bothers you so?" please, she thought desperately. Please tell me.

To her surprise, her daughter answered, and answered truthfully. "I don't want to go." and it was obvious what she meant. Terra understood perfectly.

"You do not have to do anything you do not want to do, that includes dinners. Your father only asked because he would like you to go when you feel up to it. If you do not feel strong enough, then he would not want you to force yourself to go." Emma closed her eyes, the exhaustion clear in her expression. "And if you change your mind, you only need to say so."

"I won't."

"And that is okay."

The silence pressed them both, but her daughter seemed perfectly content to live in it. Realizing that her daughter would not say anything more, she began to wash her. She was certain to be gentle, though she had healed enough to not need to be so cautious anymore. All of her scars had healed enough to be scrubbed, though her surgery spots were still very sore for her and she grimaced whenever her arms had some strength applied to them. It went well despite it though, and Emma seemed content enough with being thoroughly clean that she could ignore whatever pain might come with it.

Afterward, she toweled her daughter's body down and her hair, and then helped her into a large pair of trousers that hung loose in all directions and a shirt from her sons', which would not sling so angrily to the skin. "There," she said, smiling a little. "You are fit for the day." Emma reached up and mindlessly combed her fingers through her hair. "Would you like me to brush and braid it for you?" when she nodded gently, Terra's smile grew. So she took up a bristle brush and brushed until her daughter's hair shone, and then she braided it loose and said, "There we go."

"Thank you," she mumbled, not shyly, but hesitantly.

"It was no matter for me, my love. I enjoy helping you." she sat aside the brush and helped Emma back to her bed. "Is there anything else you might need?" Emma shook her head and silence blossomed again. This time, it was obvious why it was quiet and Terra shifted uncomfortably. Emma's request was wordless, but obvious. And not wishing to press herself upon her daughter, and ruin whatever ground they had built this day, she sighed. "Well, I suppose I should go now. You are probably exhausted..." she rose and took only three steps before Emma stopped her.

"...mother?"

Terra turned. "Yes?" whatever hope she had gotten from her daughter's call vanished when she saw tears in her eyes. Fear sunk back into her heart.

"...who...who will b-b-be there?"

Knowing, she said, "At the dinner?" Emma nodded. "Well...your father and I will be there with your brothers, your uncle and his family, Cadence and her family and the Gabbiani family." at that last family name, something clicked in her daughter's eyes. It almost looked like fear. Is she afraid of the Gabbiani boys? "Why?"

Emma looked away. "...no one else?"

"No one else. We have ordered it to stay within family and close friends on the chance that you might want to attend. Your father made sure of it."

"Mother?"

"...yes?"

"If—if I w-wanted to go..." she hesitated. "...could I l-leave if I w-wanted to?"

"You could go and stay for a minute and leave, if that is what you desire." I would prefer you do not go, and have your beautiful little heart hurt by your brother and father's stupidity. "Why do you ask?"

Emma said, voice trembling, "I...I want to go."

Terra smiled a little, hoping her expression did not betray her inner feelings.

---

She shivered and pulled her blanket up around herself.

The dark of the night used to be something that terrified her as a kid, until her father and uncle showed her there was nothing to fear in its shadows. She thought she had out grown it, that childish fear, but now she looked into the corners of her room and saw them expand and expand, and the fear of what—of who—could be hiding there gripped at her anew. It had come back to her as if it never left when she first woke after the manor.

She shivered again and pulled the blankets over her head, trembling. All around her she could hear them, their soft foot steps on the boards of the manor, the smell of their skin mixing with the odor of mold and verdure, of their sweat and their breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, tightly. You are not here, you are not here, she told herself, breathing hard. This is not real. It isn't! And yet their foot steps circled her and then their words came, muffled against something she couldn't place. But she knew it was them. She could never forget their voices, never. Let me forget, she begged. For one day, I beg you!

You must break it. Emma could not deal with her voice, not right now. You must, the voice insisted urgently. Only, what did her voice mean? Break who? If you want freedom, you must break it.

Leave me alone! She snapped, even as the voices around her grew louder, though they remained indiscernible.

You must!

"No!" she howled and tightened the blankets down around her. The sounds around her stilled suddenly, making her ears pop and her head ring. Then there was nothing, nothing but her and the darkness. And that chill. She cuddled closer into her knees, under the imagined safety of her blankets. I'm going mad...why...why... almost as if they were waiting, taunting, the sounds came back, and all the smells and memory of touch. She sobbed and pressed her head against her knees. I just want to forget...but she knew there was no salvation for her. That she was stranded in that veil of dark and pain, abandoned by everything, even herself.

When her voice started to creep back, she threw her blankets off and hurried out of the darkness the best her crutches could carry her. She slammed the basin room door behind her and fumbled with the lights within. A flicker came and went, and came again. The room filled with a gentle white glow, illuminating everything around her. The sounds followed her, seeping through the door. She cried and dropped to the ground to cover her head. Go away! she wanted to scream, scream as loud as she could, but she knew it would not help. She knew it would bring her mother running.

In the back of her mind she heard the faint whispers of a different pain, a more welcoming pain, and she wanted it so bad. Wanted nothing more than to escape. She looked at her hands, still wrapped tightly from her mother's last administrations, remembering that more favorable pain. That moment of forgetfulness. Yes. That was what she needed. The one thing that helped her forget, helped her move. She struggled back to her feet, hanging on her crutches, and pushed her way toward her basin sink and the cabinets. She raised her hand toward the mirror and would have struck the glass, had it not been for a vague thought. Of the dinner...of Alexander. Trembling, she slid back to the floor and stared at her hands. They were still wrapped in perfectly white wrappings, from when her mother changed them.

Tears burned in her eyes at the thought of him. He would be there at the dinner. There would be no hiding, not from him and not from anyone else in her family. What would she do if he could not stand the look of her anymore? If the little friendship they had forged was gone? She squeezed her eyes shut. He was her only friend, the only person she had felt comfortable with being herself around. She knew if that was so, there would be nothing left for her to live for. She closed her eyes. Please...do not let him hate me.

••••••••••••

Alexander was nervous.

The other day they had received a notice asking them to attending the coming dinner in two days. He almost refused on their family's behalf, until he had heard that the rest of the Figaro family and close friends would be attending. That had boiled his blood. Why were they subjecting the princess to all of that company? Was she even ready for it? Cadence refused to tell him anything more, if there was anything else, and it was driving him insane. He wanted to make sure that she was okay, to go and see her, but he knew that might be an issue.

He paced the main room of their quarters with furrowed brows, as his father and mother discussed the dinner and whether or not to go. Of course we can't go, he thought flexing and unflexing his hands beside him as he paced. Of course we can't. We shouldn't. She...she needs space. She needs to be with family. He took a staggering breath. What if she doesn't want to talk to them? He felt like a fire was building inside him. It had been weeks, and he had done nothing to help her. What if she needs my help...what if...what if... suddenly, frustrated, he turned and smashed a fist into the wall behind him.

His parents looked at him sharply, alarmed. His father rose first. "Alexander, it will be okay. Whatever we decide, I promise you, she will be okay."

It wasn't until his mother came up beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder that he realized he started to cry. "You do not have to go Alexander, if this is too difficult for you." he turned and looked at her, startled. Too difficult for him? How could he even hope to understand what Emma was going through, to compare his anguish for her to her anguish? To her pain? No. He would do whatever Emma needed, whatever she wanted. Anything, so long as he could take even an inch of her pain away. He knew then that he had to see her, to make sure that she was okay and to make sure others were not imposing upon her.

"We go."

His father nodded. "Aye...we go."

---

Emma woke sweating.

Some time in the night, she had made her way back to her bed, but couldn't remember it at all. She ached all over and felt sick to her stomach, as if she had a flu. Her skin was hot and yet when she touched her arm ice met her touch, ice and sweat. She tried to sit up too quickly and brought pain down her spine and through her ribs. She winced and fell back into her pillows. Why...why do I feel so... the thoughts made her even sicker, somehow. She leaned over the best she could and retched. When she was through, she was shivering again, and yet so hot. She reached a shaking hand up to press against her forehead and forced herself to take several long breaths.

The vague sound of her voice shifted through her mind, but her words were hard to discern. No, Emma thought angrily. No...not today! And with a snap, the shadow of her voice vanished. How long would this keep up? For how long would she have to fear even her own mind?

I just want to be normal. I want to forget and live...I want my family back. I want my life back!

How could she return to the way things were though? What could make her forget what happened to her, make her family forget? What could she possibly do to not wake in the morning repulsed by the world and by herself? This was a battle she was never going to win. She just wanted to burn away to ash and blow away in the wind.

Tell me, she begged the gods. Tell me what to do, tell me how to fix myself, tell me and I will do it. She kept her tears at bay, waiting, listening, but there was nothing for her. She opened her eyes and looked at her spiraling roof. Why do you ignore me? She asked, finally letting her tears go. Why...why...

The door to her room opened suddenly and her mother came in. Fearing what her mother might say, not only about the mess she had made but about her state of body and mind, she pulled the blankets sharply up and over her head, wincing at the pain. No. That pain was good, if it meant her mother could not see, if only for a moment.

"Emma, it is time for your medication..." she paused and Emma knew she was looking at her, having seen the mess beside the bed. "...what happened?" she asked gently as she came over. There was no scolding tone, no anger, just worry. Emma started to cry. How could she think her mother would react to this with anything but worry? What was wrong with her? Emma felt her mother's touch on her shoulder through the blanket and recoiled—it had hurt and it had burned. "It is okay Emma, you are not in any trouble...please, come out and talk to me." She pulled the blanket off of her and looked at her mother for just a second before bursting into tears again and accepting her mother's hug when she leaned down. "Oh my sweet girl..."

"I'm s-s-sorry," she cried against her mother. "I'm so—so sorry!"

Her mother held her tightly "What? You have nothing to apologize for Emma, nothing at all. Where is this coming from?"

"I tried," she cried. "I tried, I did, but...but I...I couldn't...I can't..."

"Emma, you are not making any sense," she whispered. "You need to calm down, please, before you give yourself an episode." her mother took her by the shoulders and held her still. "Breathe. Breathe in, and out. In and out. There. One more time, come on." Emma took a long, trembling breath in and released it out. "There we go...do you feel better now?" the truth was that she didn't, but it had become easier to breathe, to speak. Emma clung to her mother. "Is this about the dinner? Have you changed your mind?" Emma thought immediately of Alexander and clung harder. "Okay...we will figure this out, I promise you, but for now you need to eat and take your medication."

Emma sniffed and rubbed at her nose and eyes. "...o-okay."

The next half an hour, Emma sat quietly on her bed and ate, listening to her mother do her daily routines around the room, humming quietly to herself. The six pills she took daily sat on the tray beside her bowl of oatmeal and fruit. She eyed them uneasily. Although they helped in many ways for her pain, they made her feel sick and...and different. As if she were not herself, as if she hovered above her own body and watched someone else move it. The newer medications also made her fatigued, so much so that she never seemed not tired.

She turned her hands over and looked at them, remembering the pain that made her hurt herself. If only her medication could do something about that. I ask for too much, she thought tiredly, picking up the pills and staring at them. Why should I even forget when it was my fault...

"Is something wrong?"

Emma looked up, startled a little bit, and frowned. "No...I..." she sighed and looked back the pills. "No." she put them in her mouth, sipped at her water and swallowed them.

Terra approached her and sat down again. "I know you do not like taking them, I know, but you must. It is for your own good. Your assault hurt you more than you think, your head most of all, and I'm worried that if you don't..."

"I know," she mumbled. Her seizures were always terrible—she knew it—but after her assault, she slipped into them more often. When she wasn't on her medications it was constant, of course. "I'm o-okay with it...I am."

"That is because you are a good child," Terra said with a smile, tapping Emma's nose with her finger. "Now, are you done with your food? If so, I can help you clean and dress."

Emma looked at the pale oatmeal on her lap and frowned. This was it. The day had come. Whatever her family might think about her, there would be no changing it. Once she knew... She sighed. There was no point in delaying the inevitable. "Yes mother, I'm done."

Once her bath had been drawn and she was left to soak in the heat, her mother disappeared back into the main room, to bring about fresh clothes. Emma spent that time mostly just soaking in the water, though there was not much she could do herself at the moment so she did not have much of a choice. However, her mother knew she liked that time, so it was always granted not revoked.

After a while, before the water went too cold for her, Terra came back in and smiled when Emma looked at her. "Yes, yes, I know. It is getting cold. I will run the water again, but really now, we must get you washed before you prune my love." Once the water had been reheated, her mother went to carefully washing her. Everything that was still sore burned smartly at touch, but it had long since abandoned that severe pain. After about fifteen minutes, Emma was helped out of the water and into a massive towel. "Easy," Terra said, guiding her to a nearby chair. "Easy...there we go. Look at you...you are getting stronger and stronger by the day. I bet it won't be long until you do not need those crutches anymore." there was a hopeful and proudful tone in her mother's voice. Another towel was put on her head and then her mother scrubbed it, drying it.

"Ouch!" Emma mumbled at the slight head jerking. "Mother, that hurts!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm really not moving you all that much. Would you like to take over, then?"

Emma blushed at remembering she couldn't raise her arms like that and move them vigorously. "No..."

Terra giggled. "I will try to be more gentle, then."

It went on for several more minutes until at last, her mother was done. Then she was helped out of the chair and into some fitting, loose clothing. Emma was starting to really despise what she wore of late. She did not feel comfortable in them whatsoever, even if they were not restricting her or pulling on stitches or bruises. Sometimes, she preferred that over this. Her hair was then braided neatly down her back and she was walked back into the main room.

Emma saw that her bed had been made with fresh sheets and blankets, and frowned. She wished she could do those things again, all my herself. The routine of cleaning always soothed her and not having been able to do it was making her skin crawl.

"Here we are," her mother said as she sat Emma down on her bed. "Do you feel alright?" almost every day, that was what her mother asked after a bath. She was always so afraid she did something wrong and would hurt her immensely.

"I'm okay, mother, really."

"That's a relief." her mother went back to looking for something to do, anything, so long as she could stay. Emma knew her mother didn't think she realized what she was doing, and why, but she did. In many ways, Emma felt horrible for it. How she wished to thank her...to explain...but she didn't know how. Maybe I can at the dinner... she gasped a little. The dinner. She had forgotten it, in that small time between waking and now. She sighed. She had a lot to think about, before tonight.

"Mother?"

"Hm?"

"Can...can I rest? B-before dinner?"

Terra smiled, and then laughed. "Of course you can, my love, of course you can." she leaned down to kiss Emma's cheek and then brushed a hand down her hair. "Do not hesitate to call for me if you need anything." when went to the door and looked back at her. "Rest well, my love." and then she was gone.

Emma sighed and carefully laid down across her bed. Yes. She had a lot to think about.

••••••••••••

This was certainly not how he expected his life to go, and it was out of the question that he could ever anticipate his daughter's life being destroyed. This dinner...it never should have been. The need for it or his mistake in not seeing his daughter. None of that.

Edgar glanced up nervously at the grand father clock at the end of the great hall. It was seven. He could smell the food already from the kitchens and hear his wife's gentle murmur through the doors. She loved to help prepare and cook and clean, and never felt comfortable with the idea of servants. She would go retrieve their daughter whenever she was done here and the families started turning in, and then Edgar would have to... I have to talk to her. He realized, feeling sick. What would he say? Would he find the courage to speak to her what he could so easily write now when she could look him in the face?

She will be here, he looked up at the long table set and where she would be sitting. In that set between her older brother and Cadence, just two seats down from him. Just several feet away. My little girl... he closed his eyes against tears. What I would do to have her as she was...to be free of her pain and fear. To smile and laugh and love as she had before. He sighed again and opened his eyes. I must talk to her. There will be no more ground for your cowardice, Edgar. Your little girl needs you. And yet, he knew the news he had to deliver tonight would mark another set of tragedies for his family and friends, and for his country.

Let it go well today, before I have to make matters worse.

The doors to the kitchen opened and out came his wife, rubbing her hands into a cloth with a bright smile on her face. That was his wife, happy and supportive. She had lived a painful life, lived as a child of experimentation, a child of war, to a slave, to a warrior without will, and yet every part of her screamed out kindness and gentleness. Of optimism where there was once self-loathing and despair. She knew what he had to share tonight, and she disagreed it was the appropriate time, but he had no choice. If...when...the council learned of this and that it was not shared with them, there would be a shadow war.

"Supper will be done in just a few minutes...should I start bringing the others in?"

"I trust you do what needs be done," he mumbled, continuing his pace.

Terra looked at him with a frown. "Edgar..."

"I have given you full power in decisions."

"I know that, but your opinion—"

"Terra," he interrupted. "Please...I have enough on my mind. If you would but do this, you would do me a great service."

"Alright then," she replied, quietly. "I will send word to the families and get our daughter. You be sure that you talk to her Edgar...be sure of it."

Edgar frowned. He knew he was sweating. "Yes, yes...of course I will, of course." he knew he would try, and try his very hardest. "When you see her...?"

Terra smiled. "No...when you see her, Edgar." and then she turned and walked away, leaving him with that very distinct meaning. He took a deep breath. Yes...when I see her.

••••••••••••

About half an hour after seven, her mother arrived dressed as one imagined a queen would. A long flowing dress of reds, dark blues and blacks, embroidered with silvery flowers along the inner sleeves and ends of her dress. The traditional colors of Figaro, of course. Emma wondered if her mother would try and make her dress like that, but when she was brought out clothing that was comfortable to her—and not just for her injuries—Emma was relieved.

Her mother caught her mood and frowned. "Is this not something you want to wear? I can look for something else."

"No," Emma said quickly, sitting up and wincing. "I'm f-fine with this, I am."

Her mother helped her into a loose skirt that fell an inch or so below her knees and an even looser blouse. They did not match in color in any way, but it was all that she had cleaned at the moment. The blouse was pearly and the skirt red. "Well, I know better than to suggest at least sandals," her mother said with a smile. "Would you like me to rebraid your hair?"

Emma reached up, hesitantly, to touch the hair. She had loosened it earlier with the intent to have it redone, but now she was not so sure. Her mother did not notice her reasoning, and for that she was grateful. She brushed her fingers through her hair until they covered a greater part of her face. "I'm okay..."

"At least let me brush it, my dear, it is a rat's nest right now." she could not deny her mother, without coming off strange. For a minute her mother brushed, gently and slowly, humming quietly to herself. For that moment between them in that quiet, she was just one step away from sleep and then... "There, all done." her mother's bright, chirpy voice startled her from that languid state. "Oh? Are you tired?"

Emma mumbled and rubbed at her eyes. "No...a little..."

Her mother laughed and ran a hand through Emma's hair, combing it out of her eyes. "If it becomes too much for you at any moment, you just let me know, okay?" she nodded. "Alright then, here, lend me your arm."

Once Emma had her crutches and the support of her mother just in case, they made their way out of her room and down the stairs. This process was incredibly slow. Emma kept dropping her crutches and Terra had to set her down to retrieve them from the bottom of the stairs, only to return and repeat the process. Emma knew the burden of it. She had done much the same even on her own, when she went to the library. She had fallen a few times too, but thankfully no one had seen and it hadn't hurt too much.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled when they reached the end.

Her mother gave her such a look it said don't be silly and said, "Now, none of that, it is nothing to worry over." she handed over the crutches and then wrapped a guide arm around Emma's shoulders. "Alright, one step at a time." It took only a few minutes for them to arrive at the great hall.

Emma paused momentarily, taken aback by how little the great hall had changed. That seemed silly of her to think though, when it was not that long ago that she had been in here...when Benjamin had looked at her like she was a monster.

"Is something the matter?" her mother asked, guiding her further into the room. Emma swallowed back a cry, a plea to go, and shook her head. "Alright," she said, sounding disbelieving. "If you start to feel tired or weak or you just want to go, you get my attention or speak with Cadence, do you understand?"

Cadence? Emma thought as they opened the doors to the hall itself. Inside, her eyes first went to Cadence standing some feet away from the long table, engrossed in hushed conversation with her older brother. Across the table, her other brother sat quietly with their cousins, laughing. Her uncle and aunt were just down a few seats, whispering to each other while little baby Ciri chewed on a finger. Celes and Locke were not within sight, nor the Gabbiani family.

Emma was ready to turn to her mother and ask to go back, but her mother moved her too quickly and it threw her out of her senses for a minute. "I will set you here," her mother said, guiding her towards her seat. Cadence turned and smiled at the sight of her. Her older brother gave a nudge of his head before exiting the room through the opposite doors, presumably where her father and the rest of the Coles were.

Cadence approached then. "Emma, gods is it good to see you here." she sat beside her just as Terra hurried away. "Your mother said you might be showing up, but I have to say, I am surprised to see you here tonight. I am grateful though, do not get me wrong. I have missed you terribly."

Emma said, "I...I just...I didn't w-want to disappoint mother." that was of course not true, her reasoning was something else entirely, but she hoped it was the answer that might put Cadence's questioning to sleep.

"Well, your mother and father certainly would not have wanted to pressure you into anything. This is what you really wanted, yes?" Emma nodded. "That is good!" she had touched Emma's hands and before Emma could keep herself in check, cried out and pulled her hand away. Celes, alarmed leaned away. "What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing, I...I just hurt my hands and..."

Cadence looked at her hands quickly and then frowned. "I'm sorry, I was not told. I will be more careful from now on."

The doors behind them opened then and out came her older brother, Celes, Locke and her parents. Emma did not have to turn to see them to know who. They all had their distinct scent. Her mother was always like honey. Her father smelled of smoke, from his long days in his little study and the engine room. Her brother smelled like lavender. Celes smelled of flowers and Locke smelled of oiled leather. Emma closed her eyes, fighting back the urge to run from her father.

Her mother spoke first, and directly to everyone. "If you would be seated, the others will be here shortly." and then she spoke directly to Emma, coming nearer so as to not need to raise her voice. "My love, remember...if you change your mind?"

"I know," she mumbled. "I know." to answer that, her mother patted her shoulder gently, kissed the top of her head and went to the double doors of the great hall when a loud knock echoed into the room. When she opened it, in came the missing people. First it was Jacen, garbed in a fine doublet and trousers. After him came the Gabbiani family. The Gabbiani parents came in first and greeted her parents first, before engaging in small talk as they found their seats. Then the sons came in. The youngest hurried to their seats beside Benjamin and her cousins, already engaging themselves deep in conversation.

Her heart stopped at the sight of him. He entered the hall with what looked like a cautious speed, moving his lilac eyes about the room with just as much caution. His gaze lingered on his parents for a second or two, and then they roamed again, finding Cadence and then...her. She stiffened and looked away quickly, then catching the expressions of all the others at the table. They were looking at her side ways and quickly, knowing not to look and trying to make it less apparent that they had.

Emma felt ready to cry. It was taking all her might not to acknowledge them, because if she did, it would threaten the fragile strength she had built up to attend the dinner in the first place. The desire to be near family, to see Alexander. To know where she stood with them all.

And she knew, or certainly hoped, that they did not mean her any harm. Though she did wish with all her strength that they could understand that staring at her was upsetting. How could they know that? she thought to herself pathetically. I haven't told them...it isn't their fault.

It is, the voice hissed.

Emma ignored that and tried not to pay attention to the way her presence shifted conversation. Someone would say something casual, or make a joke, and the table would react, smiling or laughing. Then they would remember who sat across from them and then fall into a silence, one that was awkward. She hated being a burden to them, forcing them to act as if their lives were ruined alongside hers, or as if they couldn't have any fun or live life because her life had been destroyed. It made her feel like a selfish monster.

It was the whispers across the table that stung her the most though. The attempts to say her name without her hearing, to discuss what had happened and that they were appalled and just 'couldn't believe it' or 'understand how she felt'. That had hurt the most, knowing they knew in some way what happened to her. Knowing that they had known before even she did. Knowing that they all could see the worthlessness of her now.

Emma wanted to flee as far away as she could, to hide from this unbearable shame and fear and pain. Cadence must have noticed her tension. She reached under the table to gently take her arm, smiling just softly so no one would look at her. "Hang in there for a little longer Emma...just a little longer. And then we can all leave." as small as a comfort as that was, it was enough for the moment.

The night continued and it was obvious even to Emma that they were all—with the exception of Cadence—trying to ignore her presence there. It was all well and good to her, but she knew it was just that. Pretend. They knew and they were all trying to know more without directly asking, without looking at the elephant in the room.

Ignore them, she told herself weakly, staring at her plate of untouched food, for once not even a tinge hungry. Ignore them. A sharp noise, forks hitting plate, made her look up. When her eyes caught Alexander's staring at her, brows furrowed, she gasped and looked back down, heart racing. It felt as if someone had tightened their hand around her heart. She wanted to run again, to hide from that look, to hide from his disgust. He hates me! She felt tears building in her eyes. He hates me...why...why...

She heard Cadence shift beside her and out of the corner of her eye saw her glare at Alexander, who finally looked away, slightly blushing. "Emma, would you like me to get you something else to eat?" Emma shook her head. She wasn't hungry anyway. "Or perhaps you just need help?" again she shook her head.

"I'm...I'm not hungry," she whispered.

Cadence smiled and squeezed her hand before politely scooting her chair back. "Let me check the kitchen for something else for you first. If you still aren't hungry then you can disregard me. Is that okay?" Emma nodded and watched as she got up and walked around the table, towards Alexander, who was busy trying to make it look like he was doing something else other than staring. All eyes watched Cadence too, for a few seconds, before going back to the things they were on before and jumping back into the discussions they were engaged in.

Cadence bent down near Alex and whispered something into his ear. A second later he rose and followed her into the kitchen. Emma looked at her eldest brother and saw his face contort in rage and jealousy before it quickly vanished and he put himself back into the discussion going on. Next she looked at her other brother and saw that he had seated himself in such a way it was hard to see her or for her to see him. She knew the reasons why and looked away.

Please...let this be over quickly, please.

••••••••••••

Once he and Cadence were safely hidden away in the kitchen, far from the ears of the royal family and particularly the princess, Cadence grabbed his arm sharply and forced him to stand still. There was rage in her eyes when he looked into them.

"You are a right fool, do you know that Alexander?"

"What, why?"

"Do you think she likes you staring at her like you have been doing all night? And did you not seen the anger in Edgar's face when he noticed too?"

He was ashamed. "I...I didn't mean to stare at her, I swear it Cadence, I'm just worried and I wanted to see her. I...I just wanted to—"

"Why are you so interested in Emma?" she cut in quickly. "You haven't told me anything about this thing between you two and I'm sick of being in the dark."

"And what is 'this thing' that you are talking about?" he asked. "We're friends and that's all."

"Friends?" she challenged, brows rising in disbelief, as if she found his lie funny and expected him to admit it was a pathetic lie. "I think you know I don't buy that. I can see something in your eyes when you look at her Alex and I have to say I don't like it."

"What is there to dislike and disbelieve? We're friends. That is all. Ask her parents if you don't believe me. I'm just worried about her and want to help her."

Cadence crossed her arms. "You want to help her, hmm? Well, how do you expect to do that? What are your plans?" she asked, walking softly around him, almost like a circling hyena. There was something in her voice that reminded him of her mother's cold and calculating character she often showed. When he did not budge or attempt to answer, she stopped behind him and crossed her arms. "Well?"

"Why can't I just be concerned about her?"

"Because, Alexander, I know you and you don't get involved with women unless there is something in it for you."

That was it. His temper was hit hard. What she was implying was...it was... "You think I only care because I want to sleep with her?"

She unlatched her arms and walked around to face him, carefully considering the outrage in his eyes and its authenticity. "I have known nothing else beyond that when it comes to you...can you truthfully tell me that I am wrong about that?"

"I—I..." he looked away. He couldn't say she was wrong. When he first met Emma he very much wanted to bed her at some point or even just fool around, but somehow, along the road, it changed. He didn't just want to experience a night of pleasure with her and say goodbye. He wasn't sure how to explain it, but once he had gotten to know her more—and realized she was far different than the typical girl—he wanted to get to know her more and more and help her whenever he could. How could he tell Cadence it changed though and get her to believe him he just wanted to be her friend? To help her, not more than ever?

"You're right," at that she slapped at his arm, angry, but before she could chew him out he continued hotly. "but that changed, honestly. I just want to help her Cadence, now more than ever I want to help her. You don't know the things she feels...I mean I don't anymore either...but before this she showed me just how little she believed in herself and her own worth. She thought she was ugly and stupid and unloved, and..." he swallowed back a complaint he knew wouldn't be far off from a cry. ""...and that fills me with such rage and pity I can't explain it. Why should she feel she is ugly when she is the most beautiful person I have ever seen? Why should she feel inadequate to her brothers when she is the most intelligent person I have ever met? Why should she feel unloved when I see all the love in her eyes and know that it is impossible to know her and not love her? How can I just sit back and let her feel those things when I know them not to be true? I don't want her to be in pain anymore."

Cadence was silenced by his emotional outbreak for just a minute before she frowned. "Then what do you expect to do to help her? She won't even speak to her mother now."

"I want to build her confidence up...it was what I was doing before the attack, I mean. Some things, you know? I told her she was pretty, smart...I even took her out more and tried to show her that she could have things other people have—things like that. It was a slow process, one I meant to make her believe even if it took me years to do it, but I don't think the same tactic is going to work on her now."

"I don't think that will work now, either, at least not any time soon. I think all she needs is time to coup and someone to talk to."

"I want to be that person," he said sternly, hands tightening at his sides. "I know I can be that person for her. She has confided in me before—things I know she hasn't told others. I know I have her trust enough to convince her she is someone that deserves love and happiness and will get them. I just need time and help."

Cadence considered his words for a minute before she sighed. "If I am to consider allowing this, consider helping you in this, you must first explain it to me."

He smiled at her, thankful. "I will build on the idea that I had before. I would convince her that the things she thinks about herself are not true, that to others she can be cherished. That she is..." he hesitated. "That she isn't alone anymore, that there are people who love her."

"Charming...but how will you actually do this? What you are talking about would require someone that isn't family to convince her...it would require a different kind of love than they provide."

Alexander knew she would react poorly to what he was about to say. It would come off sleazy and disgusting, he knew it, but he also knew it would work and that he wouldn't push it any further than he intended to, so he took a deep breath. "I would have to be the one to...to try."

Just as he thought, she reacted poorly. She started smacking his chest and face, shouting, "You bastard! You stupid, stupid, stupid bastard!" he let her ride out her anger though, flinching only when she struck him on his face.

"I wouldn't hurt her," he said finally, thankful that the onslaught was over. "I swear it by all that I hold dear to me Cadence. I know I am a dog. I know that I have chased more women than I have committed to, but I never lied to them. I never hurt them. I never made them promises of more. I was honest with them and they were honest with me, and we all accepted it. I wouldn't put Emma through any of what you think I would, and I certainly wouldn't treat her like any of the other women. I wouldn't take it too far and try to sleep with her, and I think you know that I wouldn't, especially now." he looked away. "I just want her to know that...that someone can call her beautiful and not intend it as a joke...I want her to know that she has a future."

Cadence shook her head, disappointed and clearly unwilling to accept his proposal any longer. "Do you take me for a fool, Alexander?" she looked at him. "I can see it in your eyes that you still want to bed her. I can see that you expect it. I have known you for so long...ever since you were a little boy clinging to my leg and following me around like some lost pup! Why, I think I know you even better than Robert ever will! So how can you stand there and lie to my face?"

"I admit...that is what I wanted when I first saw her and I would be a fool to try and tell you that I am not attracted to her in that way, but I swear to you Cadence...now that I know her, I wouldn't ever make her cry or hurt her. I see her as a friend." he rubbed at his neck. "Robert would know I am telling the truth...he would understand."

"Robert is almost as fool as you," she mumbled, looking away. She was unsure. "I don't entirely trust you, but...if you can make her feel even a little safer, than it will have been worth it." but then she had her eyes on him, fierce. "However, if I think anything is inappropriate, I will not hesitate to confront you, in front of your parents if I need to. In front of the queen and king, if I must!"

Alex felt his nails digging into his palms from the strength he applied to his grip. He hated being threatened, especially by someone he thought was a close friend. "Friends don't threaten each other, Cadence."

"You think I like this?" she asked, her expression easing from anger to grief. "I am doing this for you as much as I am for Emma. If you continue as you are now, you will only hurt her and make matters worse. And right now she cannot afford any more pain."

He understood her worry for the princess. He felt it too, but why couldn't she understand that he would never hurt her? It isn't like he ever hurt other women. And what's more, he never had half the feelings he did not for them as he does for Emma. Sure it wasn't an attraction he could say went beyond friends or sexual attraction, but it was more than he had ever felt before and he would not risk it. What's more, he wouldn't risk losing her.

Cadence thought she would vanish with any more pain, as if she was almost gone already, but couldn't she see that the girl was still herself? She was just hiding, now more than ever, with the same fears underneath new ones. She just needed someone to help her break free, to show her the things no one else showed her before. He had to be careful though, both for Emma's sake and for how he worded himself to Cadence. One wrong word could set her off, too.

He had to start by telling her the truth and pray to the gods she help. Maybe if she knew the girl had shown it before... "Cadence...we almost kissed."

Her eyes widened. "What...when did this happen?"

"It...it was before Olmpa," he mumbled. "When I was watching her for her parents."

"How did it 'almost' happen?"

Alexander still felt such regret for not having experienced that kiss of hers. "We had just returned from the Sanus festival and were sitting in the garden. It was..." he wanted to say special, that seeing her that way had made him so happy, but the words froze in his throat. "It almost happened. I leaned in to kiss her and she was about to let me—I promise you that, Cadence, she was—but then the guards showed up."

"I can't believe it," she mumbled, smiling. She laughed. "Oh, I bet she was red all over."

He chuckled. "She was...though I'm a little convinced she had been using me to learn how to kiss."

"Using you?" Cadence's brows furrowed. "But for who..." the realization of who made her look away. "Oh...Lucas."

He nodded. "Yes..."

She gasped. "Damn that bastard! I hope the worst comes of his life and he has to feel as much pain as he had caused her. To hurt her like he did is one thing...but to purposely trick her, to build her up...gods."

"It means something though, her willingness at the time, doesn't it? Maybe..."

"It doesn't tell us anything for the now," she answered. "She could very well be an entirely different person than she was then, someone who will never trust again. We are talking, after all, about a girl who has never experienced anything remotely close to a healthy relationship. She has never..." she held back a cry. "she hasn't even experienced her first kiss, not a real one at least. She doesn't know anything more than what she was forced into that night. You can't have any idea how she will react to any of your...your advances." she waited for a butler to pass by before continuing. "And if you do continue this, with or without my consent or help, and can actually get her to open up and respond to your advances, what will you do if she falls for you? I don't mean the kind of feelings where she is okay with a single night in your bed but the feelings that she doesn't want to ever let go of. So what will you do if that happens? If she wants to stay with you forever?"

Alexander knew it was a potential outcome, but he had confidence he could only do so much to show her she is capable of receiving the same kind of things others could, especially now. "It will not happen, Cadence."

"How can you be so certain? What could you know that I do not? If anything, her state will make it easier for her to latch onto what you give her."

"I'm telling you right now it won't come to that," he insisted. "I will not be doing anything that makes her think more is possible of me, may very well kiss at the most, but everything that will come between us...it will be innocent. Talking, mostly. Doesn't she deserve the chance to find that sort of happiness? She is too great of a person to remain in the shadows for the rest of her life. She deserves someone who will love her, befriend her, who...who will make her laugh and smile. That won't be possible though if she remains as she is now, too afraid to even trust again. So...I will be her practice, for the real world."

Cadence scoffed. "And you actually want me to believe that you believe it won't ever even cross kissing, or that it alone could help her?" she shook her head, amused. "Gods Alexander...this is sad, even for you."

"You know it isn't about that," he snapped. "Of course kissing her won't solve a thing! It won't change the pain she has now from her rape and it certainly won't rid her of the insecurities and fears she has dealt with all her life!" Cadence tried to calm him down, but his anger had been struck. "I know though that if I try...if I show her she is special...just maybe she can move forward, even if it is just an inch!"

"Alexander, please—"

"Fine, forget it," he gestured angrily. "If you do not think this will work, there has to be something that can be done, but what? Help me Cadence, help me figure it out so we can help her!"

She sighed. "It won't work because to women, or most at least, physical things like that don't mean half as much as men think that we do. Your advances will only confuse her if you do not consider how your emotions and words will effect her. If you cannot, you need to reconsider this plan of yours. What Emma needs is emotional support, confidence and love. Your fake feelings will only hurt her."

"I won't string her along," he said. "I want to see her smile, Cadence, I don't want to see her cry anymore. She deserves everything and more...she—she deserves to know what love can feel like."

Cadence was silenced, staring at him in a way he never saw from her. He could see shock in her expression, but then she smiled at him sweetly. "I cannot give you my consent but I can neither deny your intentions and how important it is Emma receives that support, so I won't stop you. It doesn't mean I support this, though." he smiled and thanked her. "And hear this now Alexander; the moment I see something flutter through her eyes that even remotely defines as something more than a fleeting crush, I will end it. You will end it. Do you understand me?"

"I understand," he said without any smiles, clearly feeling the situation did not deserve anything but seriousness, but then he looked around and asked, "Shouldn't you be finding something for her to eat?"

Cadence gasped, "I forgot!"

••••••••••••

When Cadence and Alex returned, Cambyses' eyes were locked onto them, inspecting them coldly. Cadence did not miss the look and glared back at him, mouthing a 'don't you dare start' before she sat a tray of soft assorted foods before Emma.

There was honey bread, buttered of course, soup, peaches, bananas and other soft fruits, as well as mushrooms stuffed with various toppings. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I just got everything soft I thought you'd like." Emma said her thanks but did not reach for any of the food, keeping her eyes down, away from the table and the people. "You have to eat Emma...just try something here. For me?"

And then she looked up at Cadence with the world's saddest expression. It tore at her heart and made her want to cry. It was unfair this little girl had to experience any of what she had. Alexander was right. She deserved so much more. "May...may I be excused?" she asked quietly.

Unsure of what to say, or why the girl thought she was the one to be asked something like this, she looked across the table at Terra briefly—who was watching with round, confused eyes—and said, "I am not really the one you should be asking that Emma. If you aren't feeling well, you should tell your mother and she will help you." That didn't seem to please the girl. She looked away. "Emma? Please...your mother is worried. She only loves you. You have to understand why she lied to you...she couldn't even imagine breaking your heart."

Emma's eyes filled with tears. This had nothing to do with her mother's lie about her brother! But then, how could Cadence know that? "I don't care about that..."

"What?" she asked, but the girl did not answer. She saw Terra frown and lean over to her husband and whisper something into his ear. No doubt it was concerning Emma. Terra was very in tune to her children's needs, even if they did not say them. She was an exceptional mother.

Edgar rose, cleared his throat and started to speak, stealing everyone's attention.

"Quiet please, quiet...I need your attention." all at once the table quieted and watched. Well, everyone but Emma and Alexander, with the later too focused on her to pay the king any of his attention. "As you might have guessed, it is time that I call this dinner to an end. My daughter has come down to eat with us even when she feels weak and tired, and I shan't be the one to push her any further than she is comfortable with." the table nodded in agreement. "It is for such that I must tell you the purpose of the dinner. I have spoken with the council members and consulted with my generals since the night of my daughter's assault." Emma looked up, confused. "With the careful help of my soldiers and the quick detective work of my eldest son, we have found a young man by the name of Kysle D'etello." Emma realized what was happening and paled. Cadence could see the gears turning in her eyes. "I spent quite a while interrogating him and he was, to say the least, willing to answer my questions."

Emma couldn't breath. The room was shrinking around her. No...no...please...

Terra reached out to grab his arm, clearly begging him not to proceed, but he did not listen. "He admitted to luring her out of the ball room, into Domia woods and finally to a secluded place, where he..." he paused. "proceeded to beat and—and..." again he faltered.

Emma looked at Cadence, utterly betrayed and crying. "Emma...I—I didn't say anything to him, I swear it." she whispered but the girl cast her eyes down, ignoring her. Cadence was mortified. She had made Cambyses swear to her. She shot a glare across the table at the man she loved, but he looked at her with a 'it isn't like that!' face. She reached under the table for the girl's arm as Edgar continued on and squeezed it, her own heart tearing at what the girl would have to hear next.

"I was informed that Lucas and his brother Eric were operating within the kingdom under assumed names. The young told me that they are really the sons of a powerful lord by the name of Maçon. They used my daughter's circumstances at the academy to get close to her, until it ultimately culminated with them assaulting my daughter."

Upon the reveal of what was found out, the table erupted in a thunderous cry of different responses. There was a look of what Emma could only describe as disgust in Benjamin's eyes when they went to her. Celes and Locke didn't seem to react as the others had, especially her uncle and cousins. Sabin rose sharply, tears in his eyes as he started his threats to the people responsible. "What are we going to do?!" Setzer tried to calm the monk down, but it wouldn't work and then he turned his eyes went to Emma. Desperately. "Why didn't you tell anyone, Emma? Why? We...we could have helped! We could have them in custody by now!"

Emma's eyes burned with tears. Cadence's fury grew. She would not stand for the man's behavior! "Have you no decency?! Do not yell at her!"

His eyes widened. "I...I didn't mean to yell at her, I was just—"

Locke cut in. "You were screaming toward her though and that was—"

Zellum rose angrily to his feet. "My father was not yelling at her!" he jabbed a finger at her. "If she thinks he was, then it is her own damn problem! I won't have her cause my father any more grief! Not after Mir—"

Sabin stopped him quickly. "Enough Zellum! Sit the hell back down!"

"Yes, for once you idiot, do as you are told before someone here loses patience," Setzer snapped, obviously referencing the last dinner they all had together. Which clearly everyone remembered, especially the young monk-to-be. Terra and Edgar were pleading with them to quiet down, but the fight went on.

"I would like to see you try to shut me up," Zell told the old pilot, causing the shipmaster's sons to rise in protest—all but Alexander, who was busy trying to determine how to get Emma out of the room and away from the poisonous environment.

Cadence joined in the queen and king's attempts to settle everyone down but the fight was a confused mess now. Jacen had gotten up and left sometime in, clearly unwilling to engage it or accept that it was happening, while Cambyses was threatening Zellum for his choice of words. Benjamin got up then and stormed out of the room.

Emma closed her eyes and struggled to block out the fight—a fight she knew she had caused. With her childish behavior that forced her father to let her go to that ball, to making Lucas hurt her, to not telling them what had happened and by whom. She had caused it all. I just want it to end...please, let it end.

Her father was getting furious now. When his threats to have them all dragged out by their hair failed to silence them he stood and howled at the top of his lungs. "Quiet! Quiet! I said be quiet, gods damn it!" he slammed his hands onto the table, finally getting the table's silence. "Why must you all act like savages?! Isn't enough going on that you can focus on that instead of your childish fights? For gods sake, my daughter is sitting right across from you all as you talk about her and squabble over petty things! She who really deserves your outrage on her behalf towards those who deserve it!" they all looked ashamed as they reseated themselves. "You squabble as if you are mere children!"

Terra calmed him down, placing a gentling hand on his arm. It worked. He exhaled sharply and reached into his surcoat. He threw a document onto the table. "I do not have time for your squabbling...none of us do, now."

"Edgar, no. This isn't the time—"

He ignored his wife's attempt to silence him. "The country which Kysle D'etello informed me about sent this. It arrived about a fortnight or so ago." Celes reached for it, confused, and unrolled it. "The apparent ruler of this country has declared war on Figaro." the room was shocked into silence. Emma most of all. She gaped, trembling. What had she done?

Terra rose, almost angrily. "Please Edgar, this is nonsense. We do not have to go to war. Consider your daughter in this. She needs us...she needs you! Do not risk yourself in this foolish war! We can find justice some other way!"

"You don't understand," he muttered, looking away from his wife. "Even if they had not declared war on us, I would show them no mercy. The moment they hurt my daughter was the moment I lost any compassion and mercy." he looked up and across the table at his daughter, who was sniffling quietly to herself, looking down at her untouched plate. "If we do not prepare now we will never be ready for them when they arrive at our shores."

The room was silent yet again for a moment before everyone at the table began giving their pledges to help. Setzer gave his word to provide him the use of his ships and promised to provide even more if they were needed. His sons echoed much the same, even Alexander, who stood facing Emma and promised he would help and do whatever he could. Sabin smashed a fist into the table with a swear and promised he would help his brother rid the world of the scum who hurt his niece.

Celes rose, stiff and frowning. "I wish we did not have to prepare for something like this, but I understand it is inevitable. If you wish it, I will help you however I can. I will not stand aside as evil is done again when I can do something about it."

"I will help where I can, Ed, Terra," Locke pitched in, rising to stand beside his wife. "Whatever it takes."

Edgar smiled. "I thank you all. We have much to prepare for, so I now dismiss this dinner—"

"—Edgar," Terra grabbed her husband's hand and tugged him closer so she could whisper. "What about our daughter?"

Edgar looked at his princess. "I understand Terra, but there will be a time for talking later. At the moment we have other business to deal with."

Emma finally burst out into tears, in which Cadence swooped her into a warm hug immediately, much like an older sister would do. Before Edgar could explain himself, realizing the error of her wording, his wife slapped him across the face. "How dare you Edgar!"

"No, no," he rushed, looking at his daughter desperately. "Emma, my dear girl, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant—"

"—leave her alone!" Cadence snapped at him, startling him into silence. She helped the princess up then and towards the doors. Alexander glanced at the king and queen quickly before getting up to follow.

••••••••••••

Cadence wasn't sure how to approach the subject of what just happened in the dinning room with the princess. She was hoping the walk to the girl's room would fill her head with some ideas, but before they could even get to the stairs Alexander came running down the hall behind them. When he shouted for them to wait, Cadence felt the princess stiffen beside her.

"Wait, Cadence, wait...!" he puffed tiredly when he arrived besides the older woman and took a second or two to reclaim his strength before he continued on. "Emma...I—I'm sorry." Emma tightened her grip on Cadence's hand, unsure of what to say to him. Pity. It was the last thing she needed today, especially from him. Her silence unsettled him and he shifted on his feet, waiting. "Emma?" he asked softly, watching her rigid body for any indication she was going to answer him. "Please, say something. Anything."

Cadence sighed and gently patted the princess' hand before she looked at Alex. "I'm sorry Alex, but this isn't the time." and then she helped the girl up the stairs. It was then that Alex could see the tears in Emma's eyes. He wanted to make them stop, to make her smile and laugh, but how was he to do that if she wouldn't acknowledge him or let him try?

In the princess' room Cadence was pleased to see that the girl's demeanor drastically shifted. Being near the others weakened her, as if she was battling off ill spirits with all her might every time someone was near. Away from it all, it looked like she was going to collapse in exhaustion. Emma, once safe on her bed, sobbed into her pillow, unable to voice the pain she felt.

Cadence felt sick to her stomach, but she knew the girl needed to talk about it. Whatever it was for her. "I know you must be angry," she said gently, encouragingly. "And the only way to feel better is to speak about it."

"They—they all know," she sobbed painfully. "They—they hate me f-f-for not telling them." she pressed her face deeper into the pillow, as if it could take her away from the world.

Cadence sat down beside her. "They were not mad at you for keeping it a secret Emma, but even if they were, it isn't any of their business what you wanted to do. If you wanted it known, you would have said it. You are the only person that matters right now or can make those decisions."

"—but you told my father," she whispered, crying again. "I begged y-you not to and..."

Cadence laid a hand on the girl's back. "I swear to you Emma that I did not speak a word of what you told me to them. I wanted to tell you when it happened, but your brother went to Kysle hoping he would know where Luke was, who he assumed would know what happened at the ball to make you leave. Kysle had told him everything and now he is rotting in a dungeon right now because of it."

Emma looked at her in disbelief, having lifted her face out of the pillow. "Really?" Cadence nodded and explained what her brother had done, and how he had found out the truth. She sniffled. "And you didn't say anything to him?" it was clear she found some comfort in Kysle's arrest.

"Of course I didn't tell your parents, I promised you, didn't I? All we can do is be there for you, and I plan to be. If you want to be my friend, of course."

Emma sniffled as she rubbed her eyes. "I...I would v-very much like that."

"Then we shall be friends for life," she said through a bright smile, hugging the girl close to her. "Now what do you say to having some chocolate with me, hmm?"

••••••••••••

Cadence hurried down the halls, searching all the places she believed Cambyses to likely be. He wasn't in the library—reading on how Roskovo could have possibly sprouted up without any notice and have such a long history—but in the military facility, watching the soldiers ready their supplies with a hard expression on.

She came to stand beside him almost silently and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you worried for your father?"

"I am," he admitted, his voice deadpan. "My father is an excellent swordsman, even a brilliant spearsman and strategist but even I know his age is working against him. He has weak knees now, so what will he do in battle if they suddenly give out?" and now she could see tears in his eyes. "I used to hope for something like this...so that I could be like him. Banishing evil alongside my own friends and restoring peace to the world but now—" he started to cry gently. "—I want nothing more than to have a simple, boring life. I don't want to lose my father, not this way. He deserves a restful life, a great retirement." he turned to look at her, pleadingly. "What do I do, Cadence? I'm scared, I have no courage...I—I can't do this."

She took him into a hug, unsure of what to say or do. She hated seeing him so defenseless. "You do whatever you can Cambyses, and have faith that it is enough. You have a family, a kingdom, to take care of now and now you must make hard decisions, like your father and his father before him. Take your fear Camb and conquer it. Only then will you be able to be brave."

He rubbed away his tears and smiled fondly at his love. "You are the wisest woman I have ever known Cadence." he stole a glance at the soldiers quickly. "I know what I must do, and I hope you can understand it."

She laughed weakly and took his hands. "I already know what you plan Cambyses, and I support you, but what of your sister? She needs you now more than she ever will. How will she take this news?"

"I will talk to her and then we will see how she reacts, but I know this is what I am meant to do. I know Emma usually is the devout one in the family...but I feel the gods have given me this goal to complete." he leaned over to kiss her lips softly and then hug her again. "You know I love you, right Cadence?"

"And I love you," she whispered back to him. "Give your sister some time to adjust from the dinner, but don't wait too long to tell her. She deserves to know before it's made official through the crown."

---

A few days later, in the late hours of the afternoon, Emma found herself relaxing in the sun by her window. Her mother had just left her be, after pouring over her with apologies and love over the dinner. Emma knew she hadn't meant anything by any of what she did, at least not any ill intentions, but she still found it difficult to talk. She did her best to give her mother answers though, because she knew the woman deserved better than what she was being given.

Thinking of the dinner made her remember how Benjamin had looked at her, and how Alexander had. It hurt the most to think about what he thought about it all. He was the first person to really befriend her, to be kind to her. When she was little she had some playmates back in Thamasa, but that was all they were—playmates. Beyond the playground or studies, they were elsewhere, with their real friends. She was grateful for their kindness to this day, but hated the idea that she could lose Alexander.

He probably thinks...what does he think? She thought back to when he tried to stop her and Cadence in the halls after the dinner. Perhaps she should have forced herself to listen. Now she may never get the chance. The anxiety would crush her alive. Gods...please let him still want to be my friend. Please.

Someone knocked on her door and her heart skipped. She hoped it was Alexander, as improbable as that wish was. The knock was repeated and then her eldest brother's voice muffled through, "Emma? Are you awake? I want to talk." without waiting for an answer—though she was just about say 'come in'—he opened the door and stepped in.

She looked at him, confused. "W-w-what are you doing here?"

He closed the door behind him quietly. "Can we talk or are you tired?" she shook her head and moved up, to free some space at the seat by the window. He took it and sighed.

She waited nervously. He was reluctant to talk. She knew it meant trouble. She licked her dry lips. "Cambezez?"

"I...I am sorry father has to leave," he said quickly. "I know that you have been waiting for him to come and see you and that this is hurting you."

She watched his eyes carefully. She did not feel like discussing it, though she knew there was clearly more. "Is...is that what you wanted to t-t-talk about?"

He heard her tone and shook his head. "No, no...well...not entirely." he sighed yet again and faced her. "I have talked with father over the last few days, since the dinner and...and he gave it his okay."

She blinked at him, worried. "What do you mean?"

He blurted it out quickly. "I am to join him when he starts the campaign against Roskovo."

Emma offered him a weak laugh. "That is an odd thing to joke about..."

"I am not joking, Emma. I am to join him in the war efforts. I knew he could not go alone, that it would be too dangerous, so I decided to join him."

She was horrified. "Why?" she finally asked after a long pause of silence and a teary eyed stare that nearly broke his heart. "You know—know that f-f-father can take care of himself! Why must you go? Why—why must you leave me? Do you hate me that much?"

He rose quickly and took her hands. "What? No! I don't hate you Emma! I'm doing this because I know it is the right thing, by you and by our father. I cannot hide behind him if I am to rule this kingdom and because of that it is best I learn under him while I can, so I am not unprepared if something were to happen later—when I need the knowledge to protect you, mother, uncle...to protect our family and kingdom." he squeezed her hand, hoping she would understand, but she tugged it away and put her eyes, full of tears, to the floor. "Please Emma...don't be like that. I am just trying to do what is right...to do what is needed of me."

"Why can't you be what I need you to be?" she knew her words were harsh and that she would regret them, but surprisingly he just smiled at her; it looked like a confused child's smile, one full of fear and uncertainty, yet full of strength. She knew he was determined and that she could not sway him to stay with her. "Can't you be what you need to be for me, just once?"

This time she did not escape his touch when he leaned down to hug her. "Because I cannot run this country and expect others to fight my battles, to fight for my baby sister's honor and justice. If I cannot stand up to them," he peeled away. "Then I do not deserve you, this family or this kingdom. I must do this."

"You will only get hurt!" she shouted. "What if you die? What then? What then?!"

He smiled at her and laughed dryly as he took a step back. "Your confidence will protect me, I'm sure. If I get hurt or killed, there are two other Figaro children to take the throne, and an uncle to boot. I guess that just means you all have to stay healthy in case I do not survive."

"That isn't funny!"

He laughed again. "Hmm...it was to me." and then said. "I expect to see you, Ben and mother when we have to leave...otherwise I will be crushed, baby sister." he kissed her cheek and laughed happily when she softened up from her anger to steal him into a hug, like a frightened sister caught in the middle of a nightmare. "I will be back Emma. I promise you. You have nothing to fear...you have mother and Benny, and uncle too. You know this." and then he kissed her cheek once more, said his goodbyes and left her alone.

She wanted to tell him that Benjamin would never speak to her again, that her mother would never treat her the same ever again...that she would have no one. But she knew that the words would mean nothing to her eldest brother, that he would brush them off as nothing more than her being too sensitive. When he closed the door she curled her knees up to her chest and cried. Feeling alone had never hurt so much.

••••••••••••

The next day she went to the isolated garden with her mother's help—and was grateful that the area had been cleared—and sat under the shade of the willows to think on all that had happened. She collected fallen branches and wove them together to make a prayer band and then decorated it with several flowers from the gardens. It was a prayer band for protection and prosperity, but she did not make it for herself. She made it for her brother, for her father and for all the men who would cross the sea to fight on her behalf, even if she would rather they just leave it all alone.

When she was finished, pleased with her work, she grabbed her crutches and slowly got up. She would need to do a few things to finish it within her room, but it was almost complete, almost ready to place it in the chapel. When she got to the stairs leading up to her wing, she began to struggle her way up the steps. She was supposed to tell her mother, but she didn't want to put any more stress on her.

That was when her brother rounded up on her, first startling her with his sudden appearance, and then terrifying her because he had been crying. Alarmed, she reached for his arm. "Ben, what is—"

He slapped her hand away. "This is because of you!" he snapped, jabbing a finger at her. It became clear then that he had just learned of Cambyses' intention to join their father. "You did this, you did all of it!"

She started to stammer, momentarily confused. "I—I..."

"You what?" he growled. "You are sorry you never about anyone else but yourself and you're sorry? Is that what you were going to say?" again he jabbed at her with his index finger, center of her chest. She took a balancing step back off the stairs and onto flatter ground, eyes still avoiding his. "Speak up, damn it!"

"I'm-I'm sorry Ben...I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for, what?!"

"For everything," she whispered, crying. "I'm sorry I did this to you."

He looked disturbed by her tears for only a second before he shoved the concern aside. "You don't get to give me those crocodile tears and expect them to work Emma! I'm not mother and father! I won't let you have your way every time you cry!"

"I b-b-begged him not to go," she cried. "I d-d-did!"

His handsome eyes flared in rage, green taking the blue from his eyes like glistering emeralds, and then he shoved her back some, nearly toppling her to her back. "You will never think of anyone else but yourself Emma, never! If you had just stayed where you belonged—out of sight and out of mind—then none of this would have happened. None of it, but no! The perfect little princess Emma cried and cried, all her life, and got everything she ever wanted!"

"I did not!" she shouted back, her tears no longer from sadness but from utter rage.

"You did! You cried to be here in Figaro! You cried to be in our academy! You cried about our harmless teasing! You cried about not being allowed to go with...with that rapist! And look where it got you Emma! Look what you did to yourself! With the way that you act it isn't any wonder it happened." she gaped. "You deserved it!" that was the last straw.

Emma couldn't remember acting. She could only remember her roiling rage and then the next instant they were fighting. Before he could finish with whatever else he was going to say to her, she had kicked him so hard between the legs he doubled over and then shoved him into the jagged edges of the stairs. The dark voice that had led her to run away was whispering in the back of her head, her words indistinguishable, but there, taunting her for her helplessly, encouraging her to change it. Encouraging her to teach her brother a lesson.

So while he was still down, groping his privates in pain, she jumped on him—her screaming on the brink of hysteria—and started bashing his head with her fists, her blood curdling screams drawing a crowd. First it was maids and butlers who were working nearby, then it was soldiers who could only stare in horror, and then finally some of the family and their friends appeared to confront the commotion.

Unfortunately for Emma her family had not been there, nor the maids and soldiers, to witness what Benjamin had said to her or his constant shoving and poking, so the events' punishments, the social criticism, fell entirely on her shoulders.

In between their mother arriving, though, Emma was pulled off her brother by their uncle, who was screaming for her to stop—to the shock of the crowd, swearing for her 'to stop this goddamn madness now!'—and nearly tossed her in the opposite direction had it not been for her injuries. When she was on her feet and only two feet away from her beaten brother, with Sabin standing between them, she snarled and ran toward her brother again, only to be shoved away by her uncle until she collapsed to her bum. Her crutches scattered beside her before, from when Ben first jabbed at her. In her fit of rage, she had ignored the pain, but now...now it was back and throbbing angrily.

"What the hell Emma?!" he demanded, helping Benjamin up, whose nose was bleeding and his eye blackened. There were fierce gouges across his face, neck and arms, where he had tried to shield himself against her onslaught. The gouges were so deep it looked as if someone wracked the man with talons. "What the hell were you thinking?! You could have seriously hurt him!"

Her brother was standing now, glaring at her with his own sort of blood lust, hands tightened at his side. He was fighting control. Emma reached for her crutches and lifted herself up, grimacing. When she turned around, to see who had gathered, she saw their expressions. Their fear and disgust. Cadence and her entire family as well as Sabin, General Hals, soldiers, maids and butlers. Her mother. All of them watching in horror, in disgust, at what they had just witnessed. A one sided battle. They had not see what was before her 'onslaught', only that she had lost it on her 'defenseless' brother.

She wanted to cry, she wanted them to understand. She looked at her mother, the only one she wanted to know the truth, and said, her voice cracking, "He...he..."

"He what?" Sabin snapped. "What could he have done to deserve this?!" he gestured to her brother and she looked at him, seeing the state he was in, fearing how it furthered what everyone thought of her. How it hurt her own case. "Well?"

She opened her mouth to explain, but her mother walked forward, frowning. "Emma...?"

"He...he said th-that I..." Her eyes filled with tears at the expression her mother wore, just for her. Horror. "He said..."

Terra and Sabin turned to the prince, questioningly, hoping he might fill in the gaps. Benjamin's expression was cool. "I never did a thing to her, she is lying as usual! She got mad because I told her to move out of my way and then the next moment she was attacking me!"

"That's a lie!" Emma shouted, her previous fury sweeping back. "You said that—that it was my fault!"

"That what was your fault?!" he snapped. Murmurs swept through the crowd and Emma turned her eyes to scan the crowd for Cadence and saw that even in her eyes, in the eyes of an apparent 'friend', was nothing but disgust. "Tell them the truth!" he barked at her, catching her attention again.

Emma looked at him with such seething rage anyone there could tell you what she was going to say before she said it. "I hate you! I hope you die!"

Terra gasped. "Emma! Apologize to him right now!"

"No!" she cried out. "He told me I deserved what Lucas did to me, that it was all my fault!" her uncle and mother gasped. "But you don't care! You never will! I'm a-always the one who d-d-does wrong! Never Ben! Never Camb! Just me!" luckily for her, her father was not here to hear any of this. She was sure that if it had been him, and not her mother, that heard what she did and saw what she did, she would be sent away.

Terra reached for her. "Emma, that isn't true—" she tried to explain but her daughter shoved passed her for the stairs in a fit of tears and anger. "Emma, please, come back here!"

Cadence took the queen's hand. "Give her some space Terra...she needs it."

••••••••••••

When Alexander learned of what happened from Cadence in his horribly timed absence from the princess' side, he was furious. He had no doubt the 'beloved prince of Figaro' would say such things to his sister. No doubts at all. Emma might lie, white lies to prevent problems, but he knew that she would never lie about something like that. Not to her mother, at least. No. Benjamin had told his sister she deserved to be raped.

Knowing the words had been said and had already done their damage to a girl who couldn't afford anymore, Alex's own anger was beginning to force him into action. His father was there when he was told and had to hold his son back, so that he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"They don't believe her!" he shouted to his father, irritated that his old man could still hold him back. "They let that little shit treat her like—"

"—It isn't any of our business," Setzer tried to explain to him. "You will only get in the way. You must give them time to discuss it themselves before you barge in there."

Alexander tore away from his father's hands, fuming. "She could be in her room right now father...believing she deserved what happened to her. I...I can't let her feel that way."

Setzer laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know, and I don't want to stop you from changing that, but I do want you to stop and think just for a moment. If you storm into that castle and beat her brother, what will it solve? Don't you think Benjamin will just blame Emma for that too, and that she will as well? Give Edgar, Terra and Sabin some time to mend things before you go to see her. It is the right thing to do."

No, he thought, the right thing to do is steal her away from them... he realized. "I can't father, I just can't. Benjamin needs to know he can't say that to her."

Setzer sighed. "Alright. If you think this will help her, then I cannot stop you, just know that when or if this backfires on you...you will have no one else to blame but yourself. If you care for that poor girl, you will try to keep people from casting stones into the calm water, not cast them yourself." and then he turned away from his son and vanished through the doors to their work room.

Cadence was still standing there, watching silently, until Alexander looked toward her. "What do you think I should do, Cadence?"

She frowned at him. "I don't know Alex. What I saw in her eyes...I...I never saw someone so angry before. She looked so...so different. I think your father might be right. I think you should let her parents and uncle deal with this."

When she left him be, Alexander hurried to the castle.

They were all wrong. Emma couldn't wait. Her heart, her mind...waiting would only hurt her more. They couldn't understand it, how she was not like everyone else. She wasn't like her brothers, able to sit in her room and know that her brothers said things they didn't truly mean because passion drove them, or to understand the feelings and perspectives of others. She needed it all to be explained to her. She knew only herself, not how the world worked. She didn't know people said things they didn't mean. In their eyes she was just a rude, naive, crybaby incapable of understanding common things and that really pissed him off. Anyone with half a brain who spent time with her would know she is the most intelligent person on the planet...she just needed time to understand.

And right now he couldn't stand the thought of her sitting in her room wondering if maybe she did deserve what had happened to her. To end that for her...? It was his resolve!

He charged into the back garden of the castle where he knew the princes took their practice for the day and spotted Benjamin and Cambyses practicing their swordplay, happy while their baby sister sat in her room feeling like she wasn't worth anything to anyone. It was Benjamin's laughter, his expression of content, that finally set him off.

He ripped the wooden practice sword from the prince's hands—shocking him—and then punched him. Cambyses instantly went to stand between them as soldiers flooded the area, armed, demanding Alexander stand back or be charged through himself. It was Cambyses that kept them from killing the young man.

"What was that for?!" Ben growled, holding his bleeding lip.

"You better explain yourself, now," Cambyses growled, hand tightening around the hilt of his fake weapon as if it were real. "Now!"

"You two are pathetic!" Alex finally snapped, not realizing that Edgar pushed his way through his soldiers to catch the scene. "You treat your sister like utter crap! Your baby sister!"

"What are you talking about?" Camb asked, lowering the sword. "What happened?"

"Oh? Your brother didn't tell you yet?" he asked, gesturing to the lad on the floor. "This morning he told your sister she deserved everything that happened to her. That you and your father leaving is her fault!" Cambyses could not believe his ears. He turned to look at his brother, demanding answers. The prince looked away. "Tell them you bastard! Tell him what you said to her! Tell him how you lied to your own mother about it! Tell them!"

Before anyone could say anything, the line of soldiers cleared away and Edgar appeared at the side of Alex, staring at his son with calm eyes and a blank face. "Son...please tell me this is not true." Benjamin could not look his father in the eyes. "What have you done?"

Tears were in his eyes now. His father's calm voice, of disappointment and sadness, set them off. He got to his feet and moped the tears away. "You don't understand...you and mother never see it. Emma has broken this family. I love my sister, I do, but sometimes it takes someone who loves another to get the truth and the truth is that she has caused us nothing but grief since moving here."

"What did you say to her?" Edgar demanded a little hotter, his calm eyes starting to burn with anger.

Alex scoffed. "He told her she deserved to be raped, that it was her fault that it happened."

"You wouldn't understand," Ben said softly, tears still burning in his eyes when his father looked at him, appalled.

Cambyses looked from his father to his brother, horrified. "Ben, you didn't...""

Without denying it, he looked away. "If...if she didn't cry to you," he mumbled to his father, even as Alexander hurried off. "If she didn't cry to go with that rapist!" he shouted. "She wouldn't have been hurt! We wouldn't be in this situation!"

"I raised you better than this Benjamin!" Edgar howled. "At least, I thought I had! The only thing keeping me from striking you for causing my daughter such pain is that I know, beneath all your anger and hate, you couldn't possibly mean the horrible things you say and do to your baby sister. I...I'll pray your actions are those driven by passion, and not because I failed you as a father!"

"Father, I—"

"No! You will listen to me boy!" he grabbed his son by the collar of his shirt, eyes ablaze with fury. "If you ever must be so cruel to someone again, especially for your own benefit, you will never go to your sister again! If you must release your anger on someone, do so to me! Do not ever confront your sister with this again, nor your mother, just me! Do I make myself clear to you?"

Benjamin tightened his hands into fists. "She tore our family to pieces!"

Edgar released his son and took a step back. "What has happened isn't your sister's fault Benjamin...everything that has transpired, from the moment she stepped foot on Figaro soil, to the moment of her..." he hesitated on the word, as if it were a rock in his throat. "to her assault. I let your little sister go with that man despite my better judgment telling me not to, because I wished to see that smile I hadn't seen in so long, because I was...I was selfish." and then he took a long breath. "Even now, it is my fault. It wasn't your sister that answered the declaration of war against Figaro, or the one that caused it. I answered that call. It wasn't even your sister that allowed your brother to go and not you. So if anyone is to be blamed for tearing this family to pieces, it isn't your baby sister—your sweet, innocent little sister who just wanted to go to a ball and fit in—it is my fault. So I say again...if you must take your anger out on someone, take it out on me, because if I ever hear you even so much as raised your voice to her again...well...I should think I will not know how I will react."

"Why should I care?!" he challenged. "You decided this all without me! You are taking Camb but you have decided to leave me here! As if...as if I mean nothing to you!"

"Benjamin, I have my reasons for leaving you here in Figaro, but none of those reasons are because you mean less—"

"No! I won't listen to your lies! You have been acting as if I am less your son than Camb ever since that stupid fucking dinner! What if I wanted to fight beside you and Cambyses? What if I wanted to fight for Emma's honor and justice as well? You didn't even bother to ask me! You...you just decided!"

"Did you ever wonder why?" Cambyses cut in sharply, causing his little brother to look at him tear stricken eyes. "Or were you so blinded by your rage that your wits completely left you?" when it was clear Ben had no idea why, Camb scoffed and crossed his arms. "Benjamin...it is more than likely we are going to die over there or they will come after Figaro. You will be our heir. You will need to protect Emma and mother, and our people. You weren't left behind because we don't think anything of you...we left you behind because we think everything of you."

Benjamin simply turned away from them, intending to leave, but his father stopped him. "You will apologize to your sister, won't you?" Ben yanked his arm out of his father's hand and stomped away.

••••••••••••

Alexander stood quietly outside her door, thinking on whether or not he should barge into her room and take her into his arms without knocking first. It was the first time he had ever had these feelings, such strong desires, to protect someone so much before. His heart hurt with the uncertainty of what to do. It felt heavy, and it beat so fast in his chest it rattled painfully. And yet despite his own discomfort, his own uncertainty and nervousness, it was not knowing what to do for Emma that hurt him the most and it was torture.

He shut his eyes and tightened his hands into fists against the sound of her crying, muffled through the oaken doors, and swore. Had his father been right? Was this something her family had to take care of? Would him meddling only make the gap between her and her family grow? He didn't want to be the cause of that rift, to stand between her and her brothers, and yet...to hear her cry. It made him sick to his stomach. He screwed his eyes shut, tighter, against his own tears.

If you are real, he thought, angrily, thinking of the gods. Help me...help me make this right for her. Help her. Finding the strength to try, and the fear to turn away after coming so far, he reached for the door and opened it. He was a little shocked to see that it wasn't locked. He stepped in and saw the princess sitting at the foot of her bed, clutching the stuffed animal toy he had won for her at the Sanus festival. She had her face pressed into its chest, but he could still hear her broken sobs. He flinched by how unreal they sounded.

He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her until it was okay, but he wasn't sure if that was alright, if that was what she needed, if that was what she wanted. Instead, he found his voice. "Emma?" he could not find the teasing part of himself to call her by her title. And then, slowly, she peeled her face away from the teddy, confused, and then quickly hid it back into the safety of the toy's chest. She didn't wish for him to see her tears, he knew.

"Go away..."

He took a step forward, nearing as close as he dared. He opened his mouth to say something and then quickly closed it. He didn't know the words to say then, so he didn't speak. Instead, he took several more steps until he could sit next to her. She peaked at him from the teddy, watching, mostly confused, before pressing the teddy back to her face with another cry, frustrated.

"what do you want?" Her voice was hoarse, broken.

He wanted to sooth her. He wanted...what did he want? The words fumbled their way lamely out of his mouth. "I...I heard from Cadence what your brother said to you." her arms tightened around the stuffed toy. "It...it was beyond words. It was evil."

Finally, she dropped the stuffed animal toy to wipe pathetically at the tears flowing from her eyes. It was not doing much. "He's right," she stammered through a sob. "It...it—it is m-m-my f-f-fault."

Alexander felt a wave of anger wash over him. It was as if his body was on fire. He took her arm and yanked it down from her face, startling her. "No!" he said sharply, staring in her round, confused eyes. "What those bastards did to you is not your fault! There is nothing you could have ever done Emma to have deserved anything like that! Do you hear me? Do you?! Your brother is just an asshole and that is all!" and then he felt her trembling and shamefully let her arm go. As soon as he released her, she withdrew her arms against her chest, as if a frightened doe, though she never removed her eyes from his. Tears still rolled down her cheeks.

What am I doing here? They were right...I am doing no good here. I am only hurting her further. He closed his eyes and bitterly cursed the gods. I knew you weren't real...

"...y-your h-hand." He opened his eyes when he felt hesitant and warm fingers gently and briefly touch his knuckles. As soon as they had touched his marked knuckles, they withdrew as if they touched something hot, something foul. Her cheeks were reddened still from her crying, but he knew she had been embarrassed by touching him without asking first. He smiled just a little. He lifted his hand for her to see and tightened it into a fist. It was the hand he had punched Benjamin with. It was bruised, very visibly.

"Oh," he said, having forgotten completely about it and having not felt the pain in it. The Figaro men had jaws made of stone, it seemed. "This...never you mind it. I'm fine."

Emma was quiet for a bit, sniffling, and then she asked, "You...you hit him, didn't you?"

He looked into her beautiful, tear stricken eyes and blushed a little at the scolding looking he felt she was giving him. Sometimes, she could be so much it hurt his heart to think about. He offered her a small smile, not even surprised she knew who he had hit and that, even after what her brother did to her, she loved him so much she didn't want anyone to hurt him. "Only a little..."

"Why?" she simply asked, knuckling away more tears.

"Why?" he repeated, astonished to hear the question. "Emma...I was angry for what he said to you." She looked at him squarely, and he could tell there was still stuff she was trying to understand that she wasn't going to tell him. "I know I shouldn't have hit a prince, your brother, but...but sometimes when I'm angry, I can't help myself. Besides, I didn't get any heat from your other brother and father when I did it, so I guess they felt he deserved it too."

Her eyes widened. "They...they were there?"

"Well, your brother Cambyses was, but your father arrived a few seconds later. I left immediately after that though..." he felt so foolish because he knew he was blushing. He was going to say 'for you', but he knew he could not. It was inappropriate, and wrong, to make this situation so...personal.

The tears had not left her eyes, but she adverted her eyes so he could not see them grow, as her voice picked up. "You...you shouldn't h-have done anything. You...you are wrong. I...I am at fault."

"Emma..."

"You don't understand," she continued. "I...I cried to go with him," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. "Ben was r-right. I am nothing but a s-spoiled brat and it g-got me where I am now. I deserved everything."

"That isn't true." he said as he reached for her dainty hand, which she did not refuse him. It felt so warm in his. He flinched when he saw the scraps on the fingers and cuts, but he did not question them. He knew in his heart what she had been doing, that she had been hurting herself. He had been reading up on what victims of her abuse did to themselves in private to cope. He squeezed her hand. "You are more than I can describe Emma...you are so..." what were the words that would make her smile? That would make her believe she was worth something? Telling her she was pretty and smart just didn't feel like it was enough. It felt like she would just brush them off as empty flirtations. He swallowed back those useless words. "You are important. To so many people. To your mother and father, to your brothers even, to Relm and Gau, to Cadence and her family, to Sabin and his flesh and blood...and...and to me."

Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were rose-dusted as she muttered, "To you?"

"Of course," he insisted earnestly and then, wanting to convince her and hoping that she could come to understand that she could be liked, and wanting to tell her some truth, he said, "Tell me Emma...do you remember our time at the hill, during the Antlion ceremony? Do you remember our conversation?" she looked at him funny, confused, as if she wanted to ask why it was he was asking her this again, but instead she wiped at her runny nose with the back of her hand and nodded. He chuckled at that and reached into the pocket of his button up shirt to recover a handkerchief. The skin around her eyes was reddened from crying and her cute little nose too. He reached out to stop her marked up hands, confusing her. "No...no, I know you do not remember what it was we talked about." he dabbed her tears away gently for a moment, softly smiling, enamored by the beauty in her eyes. "but it is alright that you do not remember."

Her brows furrowed curiously, and sadly at that, and the rosy shade on her cheeks deepened out of shyness and shame. "I...I forgot?" her fingers wrung together. "What...what d-did I f-f-forget?"

He tried so desperately to concentrate on her question rather than how pretty her eyes were, or how much he adored her stuttering, or her fidgeting. He took a breath. "I had asked you to the summer ball first Emma. It wasn't about taking you to some opera. I had wanted to take you to the ball." her eyes widened in surprise.

"M-me?" she lifted a dainty finger to point at herself, in utter disbelief, the lovely shade on her cheeks deepening. "W...w-why?"

"I wanted to make you happy." he answered simply. "I wanted to be there. I wanted to be the one you learned how to dance with. I wanted to be the man that your father asked to protect you in his stead. I wanted to make you smile and laugh and have fun. I...I didn't want to see your eyes full of tears again, as I had seen on that hill." I wanted to be the one you learned how to kiss with. I wanted to be the one you learned romance's first steps with...

Fumbling immensely over herself, blushing so much more than like a girl her age normally would, she managed a broken up, "w-w-w-what—" before he interrupted her.

"I'm sorry though," he cut in. "It was because I was too much of a coward to tell you those things earlier that you went with that...that monster in the first place. I should have spoken up to your father...I...I should have told him about Luke. I should have gone to him and told him that I asked you first, but I didn't go. For that, I am sorry, and I will never be able to forgive myself for it, but please...know that none of this was your fault. You didn't deserve any of it. You are the most deserving person of good things that I have ever met Emma and I mean that with every fiber of my being."

She blinked dumbly at him, her tears stifled, and then her eyes looked away, uncomfortable. For some reason, it made him feel worse. It made him feel as if she couldn't understand what it was he was trying to tell her, at least, the emotional part. It felt like he had imposed on her. And yet, a moment later, she leaned over and wrapped her little arms around his torso and rested her face against his chest. He stiffened instantly, having not expected it. She was so very warm and her face was still rather damp from her tears, so he could feel it through his shirt, but even stranger than the enormous heat of her little body was the feeling he got from the smile he felt on her face. It left his stomach whirling.

His mind was at a loss on what to do. If it were any other girl, he would have slyly put a hand on her outer thigh and inched his way up to her backside or up to her back, or leaned in to offer a sensual and slow kiss to coax her into an encounter, but this was not just any girl. His mind didn't know what to do. His heart just wanted to comfort her, and his only desire was to have her as near as he could.

He didn't want to hurt her or confuse her, or trigger painful memories for her, and yet his arms moved on their own to wrap over her. The warmth of her soaked through him almost immediately, and he found he loved it so much that it hurt. The scent of her was intoxicating, and he realized, as he took a staggering breath, that it would be a scent he would remember and love for the rest of his life. His heart began to race so terribly fast. He swallowed back a pathetic assemble of words he couldn't remember thinking of saying before they actually escaped his mouth and pressed her closer to him.

He reached up, almost hesitantly, to touch the soft tousles of her hair. I would do anything for you, he thought, and knew that was dangerous. He straightened even more when she softly said, "T-thank you Alexander...for...for everything."

With a sigh, he released her, though he was smiling at her. "Please princess," the title helped remind him of the gap between them, and what could be and could never be. "It was my honor."

That softened the expression on her face some, and Alexander could tell it was sadness entirely from what he had said, but he couldn't rightly understand why his words had disappointed her. She looked away. "I'm s-sorry I'm...I'm a bit t-tired..."

She was asking him to leave. He had definitely said something wrong there. He held back the need to bombard her with questions of what he had done and instead smiled as he stood. "Of course...a beauty such as yourself needs sleep." she did not look up at him or chide him for his teasing or even even react. That worried him. He did not want to leave it like this though.

Fearfully, he tried once more. "Emma?" she did not respond. "If I'm good, might I come back to you?" this caused her to quickly look up at him, her face as red as a cherry, and he knew she recalled her words at the Antlion race perfectly. Her eyes told him so. Slowly she nodded and that was all he needed right then. "I will see you later then, my dearest princess." he knelt to peck her cheek softly with a kiss and then he was gone.

••••••••••••

When the door had closed behind Alexander, she had let her breath go, unaware she had been holding it until it broke through her lips in a gasp. And then she reached up to touch her cheek, where his warm lips had touched, and felt something she couldn't understand stirring in her heart.

Although she was not sure of what it was, it made her smile, and made her think only of him and that kiss and strange emotion for several hours onward, until it began to wear her down emotionally. Exhausted and beyond frustrated by her inability to understand what it was she was feeling, she wanted to ask someone to explain it for her. If she could not, surely there was a book available that could. She had found all the answers she had questions of in books before, surely there would be one for this.

Very suddenly, like a violent storm, she began thinking of Alexander in ways she hadn't before. She could recall small details she had not paid attention to before, like the way he smelled—like grease and crushed pine cones and embarrassingly enough, the scent of his sweat—to the way his skin felt, rough and always so pleasantly warm, or maybe she only thought he felt warm because she felt warm now when she thought of him.

Alarmingly enough, thinking of his kiss on her cheek did not remind her of Lucas, Eric or Kysle, either, which further confused her, and filled her with questions.

It was all so confusing, but that confusion was like a fire in her stomach. It felt like she was going to melt thinking about him and those eyes that seemed to always shine with some deep intellectual thought. Eyes she had thought were beautiful the moment she had seen them.

In her mind, she could recall the funny way he smiled too as if he was always half-smiling. Out from his half-smile came this gentle drawl that carried pleasantly to her ears whenever he spoke at long lengths, and sometimes he would slip and his accent would deepen and it would soothe her like some lullaby.

Thinking of it now made her heart tight with that strange emotion, when before she would focus curiously and intently on those strange things and wonder why he did them or how it came to be that he grew into those habits. Had her curiosity (and irritation with him) slowly developed into whatever this was, or was it this emotion all along?

Trying to capture what she felt and what she thought into words made her throat tight and her fingers tingle. She felt tears in her eyes, frustrated.

What is wrong with me?

Emma stared up at her roof, brows furrowed as she thought. She had an inkling suspicion it was a crush, but she had never felt this strong and overpowering emotion before. It was almost too much. It was almost...painful. She had plenty of crushes before, though she could not recall them all. Relm had told her she had two she could not remember due to her Sand Fever traumas.

That was a blessing she wished she had right now for many things. From what Emma could remember of her crushes, there was a boy with curly red hair and blue eyes like the ocean she had given a letter to back at Thamasa. He had returned with it in the middle of one of her classes and read the contents for everyone to hear. She was teased for it for months, and it had been the last crush she had until Luke.

If this was a crush, why did it feel so different? Why did it hurt, or rather, feel so much stronger? Did she somehow feel that her older crushes were part of a world never reach and that somehow Alexander was just a step away, just on reach away from her? Did she foolishly really think that Alexander was more accessible to her than the others? That made her catch her breath. If that was true, then she wouldn't want this feeling any longer. Something felt built on something so terrible should never be taken seriously.

What do I do? she thought helplessly, twisting her fingers together as she glared at her roof, as if it was held the answers she sought. In her mind's eye, she could see his face, smiling, staring, and could hear him laughing, but she could not find the answers in thinking of him, only more confusion. She sighed and closed her eyes. Someone...please...help me understand...

Again she thought of the books, but could a book tell her what the wild emotion in her heart was? No, it seemed more likely only a human could tell her. Her thoughts went to her mother then. Her smiling, always understanding, doting and patient mother. The very woman Emma had turned away over and over again when she tried to get her to talk about her emotions. No. That would not do, not right now, not ever now she supposed. Emma had mucked that up before her assault but after...after it had become a royal mess that could not be mended. She had hurt her mother and now her mother would certainly never want anything to do with her again, at least like that.

Her aunt was next, and she was certainly always very easy to talk to, though could not recall ever talking of anything so private to her before. And then was Relm. Relm was not like her mother. Though she was caring, Emma had a feeling Relm was often just as confused by things as she was. Emma remembered nights where she crawled into her guardian's bed, terrified from nightmares, only to be reprimanded by the woman and then apologized to in the morning through shameful, embarrassed eyes. No, Emma knew her guardian could not provide answers either, if not because the woman was incapable of explaining but because the woman was across the world.

The next face she thought of seemed far more fitting, and put Emma's heart at an ease. Cadence. Perhaps it was because the woman knew already a dark and disgusting secret Emma had let slip by complete accident, though everyone now knew, or perhaps it was because Emma was stupid enough to believe the woman thought something of her...but yet she felt like her brother's lady could explain the emotion in her heart. The thing that was keeping her thoughts so muddled.

Deciding on who to contact didn't matter though, she realized, if she didn't know how to contact them or if they would respond or even if she had the right to. However, she knew she had to try, because she could not go another day with this turmoil in her heart. She sighed and lifted herself out of her bed to approach the door. She peaked outside. There were only two soldiers in the hall, and they were at the end, chatting in a hushed manner as they leaned against the walls. They were on watch, for her sake, though they were keeping their distance from her door also for her sake. They knew she did not find comfort in their closeness.

She closed the door, thinking. She knew that if she left the room without notifying anyone of what she was doing or where she was going the castle would be in lost in a storm, and her parents would become very crossed and worried, and yet she knew she wasn't going to approach a soldier and ask him to fetch Cadence for her. Especially since it would appear as if the woman was some dog or something.

I could write a letter, she thought, leaning back against her door, thinking. No. That was no better than sending someone after Cadence. Instead, she went to her desk and wrote a quick note down for the guards. It was short, but hopefully enough. It read off 'I went to see Lady Cadence. Please do not follow me.' though she had this feeling they would, after alerting her parents what she had done. She hoped she would make it to Cadence and get her questions out before hand though.

When she was through, she sat the note on her bed so that it was easy to spot and then went after her academy dress shoes since they were the easiest to pull on. And then she peaked back out into the hall. The men were still distracted. With a smile, she opened the door and darted down the other end as quickly as she could.

It took her only a few minutes to be free of the second story and to be in an area where she could collect her breath and thoughts, and when she was hidden, she realized she had no idea where Cadence lived. Suddenly nervous, and feeling very foolish, she fidgeted on spot. What had she done rushing out without thinking? She sighed.

I could wait outside Camb's room but... she envisioned her brother returning and going into hysterics that she was out and about by herself, or getting angry even. Another sigh. With no other choice left to her, as returning could mean walking right into her guards, she went to her brother's room.

The hall was oddly quiet. There weren't any soldiers or even maids or servants. She approached her brother's door nervously. The odds Cadence was there already was slim, and the odds she would decide to visit the room was even slimmer, especially since the two may already be together. She reached out nevertheless and knocked hesitantly on the door several times. There was no answer. He was not there, which meant she wasn't either.

"C-Camb?" she called. No answer. "Cadence?" still nothing. She looked around the hall, fearing a stranger's arrival, and then knocked louder. "Is...is someone there?" there was a sound at the end of the hall and, frightened, she took off running. An ache immediately began in her legs and lower back, but she was too scared of being seen to stop and tend to the pain. She ran and ran until she was far out of sight and until her chest was heaving and her brow was soaked. She knelt forward, breathing hard, and rested her hands on her knees. Her chest felt on fire but she was safe from the eyes of others.

She hadn't even realized she was standing in the upper terraces of the castle until the drops of cool rain tickled her exposed flesh. She gasped and looked up, alarmed. The sky was dark with a storm. She lifted a hand upward as the rain grew more fierce and let it beat against her palm, enjoying the coolness of it, and ignoring that she was becoming drenched.

"Emma!" the sharp, worried voice drew her from her enjoyment quickly. She looked over her shoulder and saw Cadence staring at her with a very startled expression. In her hands was a collection of rolled parchments and documents, and she looked like she had been in quite a hurry. She sat her things down on a nearby marble table and hurried over to the terrace. "What in heavens are you doing! Get out of that rain before you catch a cold! Right now!"

Very abashed, Emma stepped back into cover with a very gentle rose shade on her cheeks. She hadn't meant to cause a scene, let alone be caught by the woman she was out looking for. Cadence caught her by the chin and made her look at her, stern eyes burning with agitation. "Just what were thinking?"

Emma opened her mouth to answer, honestly, but clamped it shut. It was useless. She could not really answer anyway. It wouldn't make sense. Instead, she looked down. "I'm sorry..."

Cadence let her face go and sighed. "Sometimes..." she crossed her arms. "What are you even doing out of your room? I thought you didn't wish to leave it?"

Emma took a brave breath. "I...I wanted to s-s-see you..."

Cadence blinked. She clearly did not expect that. "You wanted to see me? What in heavens for and while I am glad you felt strong enough to seek me out, why didn't you just send for me? Now I'll be afraid you'll catch a cold all day." she touched Emma's soaked clothing and clucked her tongue at the girl's slightly trembling body. "Look at you...what am I going to do with you?"

"I'm sorry," she offered again, truly. "It...it wasn't...important." she felt her cheeks heat up. No, it really wasn't, she just felt it was important enough to leave her room. Perhaps this really was just a huge mistake. Whatever it was Cadence had been doing, it was clear that was far more important than dealing with a stupid girl's confusion.

Cadence simply smiled. "You wouldn't have left your room if it wasn't important to you and if it is important to you, it is important to me." she turned to grab the things she had set down and then reached to take Emma's hand. "Let's head back to your room quickly though and get you out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold. Your mother already has enough to worry about, let us not add to it."

Luckily for Emma, her guards were not present at her door when they returned. They were laughing so loudly they hadn't heard Cadence's snort of disappointment and anger nor the door slamming behind them. As the woman found a place for her things, someplace safe, Emma went to the letter and hid it away beneath her pillows. It would be another little thing of embarrassment if found.

"Now," the kind woman said as she approached. "Where do you store your clothes again?" she looked around, spotting the chest. She did not wait to dig through it for attire as Emma shifted where she stood, nervous. Cadence clucked her tongue at what she found inside. "Gracious...what is this?" she lifted some of the clothing out of the chest. They were Thamasan field clothes and desert clothing. "Where are all your heavier clothing, girl?"

"I-I'm n-normally very warm here..." Cadence sighed and continued her search for something she deemed good enough. She found a tunic and a pull over blouse that was rather thick, and looked as if it leapt out of her mother's storage. It looked so old. Emma remembered her mother stuffing several things into her chest several months ago in hopes to decorate her in a more traditional fashion, but Emma had refused it. That was before... "This will have to do for now. I will talk with your mother and we shall have you fashioned up some warmer clothes. This simply will not do Emma. The deserts do get cold, you know, and the winters here..." she stood and sat the clothes on the bed. "Come, let's dry you off and get you dressed. Then we can talk."

"Ah," she mumbled. "Alright."

Cadence knew enough to stay outside the basin room as Emma dried off. That was another reason why Emma had found so much comfort in the woman. She knew without being told, at least over and over again, that Emma had severe anxiety and shame in her body, especially now after her assault.

"Emma?" her voice called through the door. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," she answered quietly, struggling into the oversized blouse her mother had given her. It hung so loose off her body the sleeves looked like the ends of dresses coming off her arms. The feminine trousers were no better, either. They hung so low they seemed to run a good foot longer than her legs. She had to bunch them up and hold them up at her thighs. She frowned.

Cadence seemed to sense the tone and said, "Is something the matter?"

Blushing, Emma said, "The clothes don't...don't fit me."

Opening the door as she talked, Cadence entered the room. "That is fine. It is only until I get your clothes dried and have something warmer and in your size brought to you..." and then she paused when she saw Emma standing comically in the oversized clothing. A smile cracked her face and then she started laughing. "Oh my gods Emma, you look so...so..." the laughter broke her sentence off. Emma tried not to let tears build in her eyes. Why did she have to look so stupid all of the time? Suddenly aware of what she had done, Cadence broke her laughter off with a snort of a giggle and covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry Emma. I'm not laughing at you, it is just...you look so...so adorable. It really puts it into perspective just how short you are."

Annoyed, Emma tried to tear out of the clothes. "I want to dress in my own c-clothes!"

"Oh, Emma, quit that right now," she said through another laugh. "It isn't so bad being so short. And look at you. You look so pretty. Sometimes I have to duck to enter a room. Is it embarrassing? Yes, sometimes, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Besides, your brother loves how tall I am. He finds it very attractive."

"That's different!" she snapped, blushing.

"Why?" Cadence pressed, curious.

"B-because..." she mumbled. "Boys don't...don't like girls...like me..."

"Like you?" Cadence asked, brows raising. "Whatever do you mean by 'like you'? You mean smart and pretty? And so short you can bat your lashes at your future lord husband to get whatever you need off some shelf and make him feel needed every single day?" she giggled. "And with eyes like that it is an honest surprise you haven't had a proposal from every single lord in the land and haven't given your father a heart attack." when Emma's fidgeting became too much to ignore, Cadence shook her head and took the girl by the arm to guide her back into the room. "Alright...now you have to tell me what this is all about. Why were you even looking for me? Do not get me wrong. I am thrilled that you left your room and wished to see me, but now I'm really worried. You are acting very strange."

There isn't anything to it, Emma told herself. Just tell her what is on your mind. They are just words. Though how to put her feelings to words was the hard part. She never had the chance to do this before, to talk about her feelings before, not at depth at least. In Thamasa with Gau and Relm, she tried her hardest to keep all of her problems a secret so that her guardians would not be distracted from their own kingdom and problems and at some point later own, their own daughter. It meant taking all of the bulling from kids and professors. She had always just hid away whenever she felt bed, or when she was confronted by people she didn't like, when it was possible.

Now though, she knew it wasn't possible. There were no children bullying her and no hallway or closet she could run off to to hide away in, and while there was a bed she could crawl into and cry in, it wouldn't do much now. The turmoil in her heart was different than what she had felt before, and it would make her too sick to want to deal with. So Emma tried to lift her eyes to the friendly woman, but failed, and whispered. "I...I wanted to talk about..." and when her words dropped, Cadence's frown grew.

"If this is about your father...please, don't feel embarrassed to talk to me."

"No," she said very quickly, and extremely annoyed. He can go away forever. I don't care anymore.

The voice laughed and said, That's more like it.

"Whatever it is, I am here for you."

Emma wrapped her fingers through each other, thinking on how to voice her thoughts. It wasn't simply a 'Alexander kissed my cheek'. No, that was not it. Although that had left something strange in her stomach, something that was starting scary and yet good, there was something else. She took a breath. The one thing she really wanted... "How...how do I..." she hesitated. "How do I get over...things?"

Cadence arched a slender eyebrow at the princess. "I'm sorry Emma...what do you mean by 'things'?"

Emma mumbled, "...uh just things like...um...fears and...and things."

Understanding what it was she meant, Cadence leaned forward and took one of the girl's hands. "Listen to me Emma...I want to be honest with you, because I love and respect you too much not to be." she squeezed the princess' hand some. "There are some things you can't exactly get over in life, not in the way you are hoping to."

Emma was sure she was crying, and she felt pathetic for it. "If...if I can't g-g-get over it, how d-do I get better?"

Cadence sighed. "It depends on the person, Emma. Some people learn to cope, which means healing enough to live, but the things that torment them...I don't know...I suppose it never really goes away, it just gets...easier."

"That's n-n-not good enough," she cried as she reached up to rub at her eyes. "I...I don't want this feeling anymore."

Cadence quickly took her into a tight hug. "Oh, sweet girl," she whispered, closing her eyes. She knew without asking that the princess was referencing her assault, but what could Cadence do to help her? It would take the girl being willing to talk, and even disregarding what Cambyses and the Figaro family told her of the girl, the impression Cadence got from the princess was a seclusive one. Full of secrets, pain, regrets and emotions she kept repressed that would surely burst one day, and very violently.

When Cadence looked at the princess, she saw the one book people left to wither on the shelf of an old library. The foundation that held the columns, walls and roof to an old but sturdy chapel that protected the weak and did not moan against the turbulent winds that cracked against its weak bones. She was unspoken and yet strong and unwavering. It took an immense strength itself to stand against her turmoil as quietly as she did.

"You just need time," she said quietly. "That's all Emma. Do not push yourself. Your mind, your heart, your body...it needs the time it needs. Whatever you feel now, that's what you feel. There is nothing to feel ashamed of. I will always be here to talk with you if that's what you need, you just have to ask."

Emma slowly pulled out of the woman's arms, sniffling, and frowned. "It isn't—isn't f-fair," she said. "I want to understand these f-f-feelings I h-have and not f-fear them."

"What feelings?" Cadence asked, suddenly a little worried. When the princess went quiet, she asked again. "Emma, what feelings?"

"I don't know w-w-what it is," she admitted. "It..it..." she looked at Cadence. "You have to p-promise not to say anything!"

Cadence swore the highest promise she could. "I swear I will not say anything Emma. You can talk freely to me."

And then, like a damn breaking, Emma's thoughts poured free. "I don't k-know what to do. What do you do when you have your first—um, I mean..." that wasn't right. Alexander wasn't her first kiss, even if it could be considered a kiss. Luke had taken her first kiss. The thought of the man that had hurt her made her cringe and change the direction of her question immediately. "...when did you get your first k-kiss?"

It was extremely obvious what the princess had been trying to say, and why she had stopped. With a frown, Cadence relaxed and leaned away. She didn't want the poor girl thinking about that night she was assaulted. She was determined to steer the girl away from those terrible memories. A kiss, especially the first, was supposed to be something that made you happy and made you smile and made your stomach feel tipsy, but in a really good way.

"My first kiss?" she repeated with a small smile. "It was with your brother, of course. I was eleven. He was being teased by other boys and wouldn't stand up for himself against them, naturally. It made me very angry. They were saying such awful things about him." Emma stared, shocked. Her brother, bullied? She couldn't believe it. "I charged up to him and took him by the shoulders and kissed him right in front of them. The little snots ran away fuming after that. It wasn't very romantic to others, I suppose, but...to me, it is the most special moment in my life. And that's all that matters Emma, is if your first kiss is with someone special to you, or if you're kissing someone special to you."

Emma's heart tightened as she envisioned Alexander's face and it evaporated into the hard, smug face of Luke. Her breath hitched. He wasn't special to me...not then, yet he stole it from me. She tried to force the thoughts away. Alexander wasn't even trying to...to kiss me, was he?

The voice snickered. You are so naïve.

Emma wanted to know so much. The whole world was a mystery to her, especially the man that was making her more lost than she ever felt. "Cadence?"

"Hmm?"

"How...how do you know when a kiss is...is a 'kiss'?"

The older woman tried to contain a laugh, but asked, "What do you mean, exactly? How do you tell if it is romantic, or just friendly?"

"Yes." she confirmed simply, staring, waiting.

"Well," Cadence mumbled, uneasily. "It honestly depends on the situation and the person, but even then, it can be exceptionally hard to distinguish unless you have known that person for some time." when the girl looked visibly disappointed, Cadence giggled. "Why, if I didn't know any better Emma, you were planning on kissing someone." thankfully her teasing was taken rather positively. The princess' face turned bright red and her stutter returned full force.

"W-what? No, of c-c-course not!"

Cadence burst into a fit of giggles. "That was definitely not believable Emma."

"I never k-k-kissed him!" she shouted, blushing.

Cadence corked an eyebrow and smirked. "Oh? So there is a boy to kiss, hmm?"

"No! I mean, he's not...I didn't...he...he only k-kissed me on the cheek." she was playing with the ends of her oversized sleeves shyly, the blush on her cheeks so lively that it crept across to her ears. Cadence tried her hardest to keep from giggling, because she knew that if she did it would upset the girl.

"I see," she said after a moment, when she was sure she would not let her giggle of mirth through, and her onslaught of girlish questions that would surely be too much for her to handle so soon. And yet, Cadence couldn't help but wonder who the mysterious boy could be and how he could make the girl be so flustered. She knew he couldn't be a stranger. It was out of the question for several reasons. And then she knew it.

It had to be either Alexander or his annoyingly charming brothers, but surely Emma wouldn't let those skirt chasing urchins near her? They were absolute perverts! She sighed. She was underestimating their charm. Even Alexander underestimated their charm sometimes. Terra had told Celes the first time she heard Emma make a 'girlish giggle' was because of the two youngest Gabbiani boys. That was a feat, concerning Emma's strangeness. If the boys had a chance to linger about the princess, Emma would surely fall prey to their charms.

"Emma, sweety?" the girl looked at her, tears in the corners of her eyes. "Might I ask who this boy was who kissed you?" and the moment Emma started to twaddle her fingers and stutter, Cadence immediately knew who it was. A little flame of anger popped in her heart. "It was Alexander, wasn't it? I knew it...what a lecher!"

"That—that's not it at—at all, really! He's—he's sweet to me and—and h-he cares about me. He treats me n-n-nice when no one else will." when Emma noticed the smile on the woman's face, she was humiliated. She looked away. "You think this is funny...don't you?"

"No...no of course not, that's not it, I just..." she sighed. "I know Alexander, that is all, and then I was wondering what it was that makes you like him."

"M-me?" she repeated, blinking.

"Yes, you." Cadence giggled. "It is more obvious than who had kissed you. You like him. That is why you called me here, isn't it?" Emma couldn't be sure. Do I just have a crush? Yes...I...I think I do but it feels so different... Feeling strangely strong, she nodded, and Cadence giggled. "Is it because of his muscles, or his eyes? Or maybe both?"

Flustered, as she had no idea how to answered it, Emma said, "I...I don't know, I just—"

"There isn't any need to get so embarrassed over it, if you do. Attraction is normal, Emma. Alexander is certainly a very handsome young man and if he is nice to you, that makes what you feel all the more exciting. You need to know though that kissing is something special. It should be with someone that makes you happy, that you like so very much that he makes you feel safe and loved and happy. If he doesn't, you shouldn't kiss him and you shouldn't let him kiss you. Though, a kiss on a cheek...that...and I don't mean to down play this any...it isn't the same thing as a real kiss."

Emma let her breath go. She had the feeling. Alexander would never feel anything like that toward her. She looked away, feeling ashamed and pathetic. Who did she think she was? She wanted to run away and hide forever. The only thing she could be thankful for right now was that she hadn't brought it up whatsoever to her mother or Alexander. If she had misinterpreted it to him...the humiliation would be too much to bear.

Cadence touched her hands. "Emma...there are others out there. I know you feel like you don't deserve anything, or that you aren't good enough, but that isn't true. I shouldn't be telling you this because you might fall for those sneaky little lechers but...Alexander's brothers were absolutely smitten with you too." that made the princess look up at her, startled. "but they shouldn't be taken seriously. They don't mean harm, they just aren't serious boys. They don't seek relationships, they...they seek different things than what you want and need. The reason I am telling you this is to show you that there are boys out there who see you and think of you. They see and think of you in the ways that you think boys can't. You just have to give them a chance. That probably will be tough for you right now, given what happened to you, and that is understandable, but..." she sighed. "I am probably messing this whole thing up and confusing you, I just want to help you. I don't want to hurt you and and confuse you."

That wouldn't do for Emma. That wouldn't help what she was feeling now. What she saw in her mind was Alexander's face. What she thought of was him. Who she wanted to talk to when she was sad or angry or had something to say was Alexander. She wanted him to be near, always. The feeling was strange, and it was like a boiling ocean. It was uncharted and frightening. She had never felt such unknown things before.

It didn't matter that there could be a possible that other boys might find her pretty later on, if she could even face it later, no. That didn't matter. She finally broke into a sob, startling Cadence perfectly. "Emma! Oh, I knew I was doing something foolish by talking so much...oh gods...what did I say wrong? Emma, I'm so sorry, please, tell me what is wrong. I'm so sorry! Oh gods, please, don't cry, don't cry."

"I—I don't k-know what to do," she cried into the woman's arms. "I...I n-n-never f-f-felt this w-w-way before."

"What way?" Cadence said, still horrified that she had done something to hurt the girl or cause problems. "Emma, I'm really confused here. You have to tell me what is going on."

"I keep thinking about A-Alexander," she finally let out through a sob before she covered her eyes. Her body was trembling. "E-E-Even though it scares me...even though I know I s-shouldn't...even though I know he d-d-doesn't like me..."

"Oh Emma..." Cadence brushed the girl's tears away with her thumb. "What you are feeling...that's normal. We have all felt it before. It hurts, I know, and yet sometimes it feels so good to like someone that way." Cadence knew she shouldn't be doing this, but the girl had so little confidence and if using Alexander could boost it, then she would do so. "If you think you might like Alexander that much, you need to tell him."

"but...but I c-c-can't."

"You can. You just need to find your courage to. I understand it will be difficult for you, I do, especially now, so...just take your time to build up your courage. Work toward it gently. Every day, I want you try. At least once. I mean it Emma. Try every day to tell him."

That made the girl's eyes go wide and her cheeks go as red as a cherry. "but...but if he doesn't even like me...I...I can't..."

Cadence said, "Emma, you will not know until you try." besides, if you do and he rejects you, it will be an experience that will help you immensely. And if he doesn't reject you...oh Emma...you have to try. "Just remember...if none of this works out, there are other boys out there. Boys just as handsome and kind and caring as Alexander who would love to sweep you off your feet and kiss you and present you gifts every day." Cadence would do everything in her power to discourage her from the devilishly handsome Alexander if she could. As much as she loved Alexander, as she would kin, the man had problems of his own that would only hurt the emotionally turbulent girl.

Emma frowned in such a way that Cadence knew what it meant. That frown said 'they aren't Alexander' and it stung Cadence's heart a little in fear. Wishing to distract the poor girl from the horrible emotions she clearly never had the chance to experience before, Cadence asked, "What about your father leaving Emma? Do you wish to talk about that?"

"No," she mumbled.

"Why?"

"It w-won't change anything..."

"No," Cadence admitted. "but it might make you feel better to talk about it."

"No," she said again. "I know my f-father doesn't want to stay here with me. I don't want to discuss why..." she started to subconsciously rub her knuckles. "if...if it is okay...can...can we talk again? More, later, I m-mean?"

Giggling, because she found the girl's shyness adorable, Cadence nodded. "Of course Emma. I truly do love talking with you. It is so enjoyable to speak with another girl. You have no idea how boring it can be here in the castle surrounded by men all day. I swear, sometimes your brother is so damn oblivious..."

Emma smiled thinly. "Actually...if you—" before she could get the rest of her words out, someone banged on her door. Emma was so startled she jumped forward with a little cry and squeezed her eyes shut. Cadence leapt forward to grab her.

"It is alright," she whispered. "It is just someone at the door." and then she hurried over to the door to see who it was. A pair of soldiers were standing ready at the door. "What is the meaning of this? I thought protocol dictated that no one was to bother the princess but family and friends unless there was a severe emergency?"

"We understand that, Lady Cole. We are not here to bother the princess. The crowned prince is looking for you. His father sent him about looking for you. They are after the documents you carry?"

With a gasp, Cadence turned and looked back at the confused expression of the girl on the bed. She had completely forgotten her task! And yet this new task she had seemed so much more important. She was also certain that if Edgar knew where she was instead, and what she was doing, he would perfectly understand.

"Tell his majesty that I am with his daughter and that I will deliver his documents when I am done here."

"No, it is okay Cadence." The princess mumbled. "I'm...I'm okay now. You can go."

Cadence stared quietly for a moment, considering. The only reason the girl would be sending her away was because of the soldiers, or because she was feeling overwhelmed by what they discussed.

It is probably for the best I let her deal with what we talked about... she nodded. "Alright Emma...if there is anything you need, anything at all, you get me, alright? Have a note delivered instead though, okay? I would hate to explain to your parents why you were wandering about the castle all about by yourself." she walked over to hug Emma gently. "Be brave." she whispered, before kissing the girl's head. "Good bye. We will talk again later."

Emma smiled softly. "Good bye Cadence." and then the door closed and her room was quiet.

••••••••••••

Cadence emerged into the study about half an hour later, documents in hand and just a little annoyed she had been whisked away from the princess by the urging of men yet again. If they knew she had gotten the girl to open up, they would feel so terrible about it, so she kept her mouth just. They had no reason to suspect she was with the princess, after all.

Edgar smiled as she stepped into the room. "I'm so sorry I have you hurrying about the castle doing this, Cadence. I feel so terrible."

"Please, it really isn't a bother..." normally, she wanted to say.

"It is the last one for today, we promise," Cambyses said through a warm, loving smile. "I was swamped earlier with father, but I will be free in an hour or two, if you want to sup with me."

Cadence nodded. "Of course. That would be wonderful. Are we all supping together?"

Edgar was busy going over the documents when he answered. "Of course. Celes and Locke are with Terra right now, the last time I checked. They were reading over the maps our cartographers sent back in the foyer. We will eat together there."

Waiting for just a second, as if testing them and finding them to have failed, Cadence said, "And Emma?"

The quiet that followed was awkward, and sad. Cambyses cleared his throat and leaned against the table with a sigh. "Cadence, it is...it is more complicated than that. She doesn't want to leave her room anymore."

That isn't so true anymore, she wanted to say. "We could still ask her."

Edgar looked up. "After that last dinner together, I doubt she wants to see me again Cadence. She was...furious."

"Furious? No, Edgar, she was upset and for good reason. And I understand you didn't mean it the way you had said it, that it was a misunderstanding, but...you know your daughter." he sighed. "If you aren't going to ask her to sup with us...at least...bring her a plate yourself."

He looked at her fearfully. "Me?"

"You and Terra, instead of having the maids leave it outside the door or having Terra do it alone as she usually does. I think doing it together would be a good idea. Especially today."

Cambyses caught her tone quickly. "What do you mean by that? Why is today any different?"

"I was with her when the guards you sent out to look for me found me." they were surprised a lot by that. "She...and I do not know if she would want me to tell you this so if I find out either of you told anyone about this I will kill you but...she had left her room to find me."

"She left her room?" Edgar repeated, blinking. "What in heavens for?"

"Private things, Edgar." she said a bit more hotly than she intended. He did not pry. "That is beside the point. She had sought me out. She...she is lonely. More lonely than I can describe to you and yet I know that there is nothing you, we, can do to solve it by forcing our way into her life the way that we choose. Her assault has ruined her mind more than I originally thought it did. I feel horrible saying it, but looking at her...I know it. I have seen it."

"Then what do you suggest we do?" Edgar asked softly, tears in his eyes. "What do I do to help my baby?"

"I'm not sure Edgar," she admitted. "but I can suggest you try to talk to her more with your wife. Even if she turns you away, you need to try. Before you leave for your war." and then she faced Cambyses while the king was stunned. "I will see you at the foyer, Cambyses. I need to get refreshed and think some things over. " she kissed his cheek and then left them quickly.

Edgar rested his hands on his table with a sigh that was more a cry. "I have failed my daughter..."

Cambyses shook his head. "No father, you haven't, do not ever think that way. We can still give her the justice she deserves, too, so please...don't lose yourself to this guilt."

••••••••••••

The next morning, Emma had found that the whirlpool of strange emotions in her heart had not changed whatsoever. Her dreams that night had been of Alexander. It was more of a memory of him, rather. They were at the Antlion race again, but instead of falling asleep, she had sat beside him quietly and they watched the sunset until the darkness came and she was standing beside him at the Sanus festival. They enjoyed the day as they did, but the course that took her to the council did not happen. Instead she had sat with him in the garden, talking, until the imagery shifted and he was walking her into an empty ball room well lit. There were no musicians in the court but the look in his eye when he gazed at her was all the music she needed.

She woke up suddenly. She was sweating and her heart was racing. She reached up to claw at her chest, frightened. She never had a dream like that before. She sat up quickly, trembling, and rubbed at her eyes frantically, as if she could dispelled the thoughts and memories from her mind.

She threw her blankets off and used her crutches to stumble to her basin room to splash cold water on her face and then sunk to the floor on her knees with a sigh. What's wrong with me...

Go see him, the voice said quietly.

She squeezed her eyes shut. I can't...I can't... she couldn't leave her room. Not again. She had made such a huge mistake leaving to go find Cadence, and she wouldn't risk it to go look foolishly looking for Alexander, whom she had no clue whatsoever as to where he lived. And yet she couldn't pretend she didn't wish to see him. Her heart hurt so terribly and the one thing she sought was to be beside him. She reached up and clutched at her chest, at the thumping of her wild heart. I can't...

You can, the voice said. You can. Emma covered her face in her hands and cried. No! Pick yourself up and look for him! What are you doing? You want to see him, don't you?

Yes...yes...

Then you know what you have to do!

I can't...it's too much!

The voice growled. You are pathetic! You do not deserve it yet! And then it left her alone to wonder what she meant by 'it'. Emma cried where she sat, unable to will herself up off the floor.

"You don't understand," she whispered quietly into the air through a broken cry. "No one does..."

---

Alexander was quite sure that the princess was in dire need of talking to someone, and he was quite sure that it wasn't him. It would need to be Cadence, or her mother. She was days away from sending off her father and brother to a war she didn't even support that was being waged for her honor. He knew that she would feel responsible for it, and would feel responsible for whatever would happen as the days went on.

I should see the queen, he thought as he paced his room. I will be turned away of course, but I have to try. I'll tell her what I know about the princess and convince her to talk to her on what I do know. He stopped and crossed his arms. I can't tell the queen whatever Emma told me. He sighed. She told me those things in confidence... Frustrated with himself, he ruffled his hair and plopped backwards into a nearby chair with an exaggerated sigh. He didn't want to betray Emma's trust, not when it was so difficult for her to give, not when he treasured it so dearly. He relaxed into the chair.

She needs help though...help I alone cannot give her. "What do I do?" there was a rapid knock on his door. "Who is it?"

"Alexander, Cadence is here to see you. She says it is urgent."

"Tell her I will be down in a moment—"

"She's demanding to be let into your room immediately," Loreto said quickly, almost fearfully. Alexander laughed and told his brother to let her in. The door opened and his brother stood stiffly at the side. Cadence stood at his side, taller and glowering at him with her beautiful eyes. Alex knew instantly he was in some sort of trouble. He stood slowly as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

"I suppose you didn't come all this way to say hello, Cadence..."

"You supposed correctly," she said hotly, her elegant brows bunching just a little in agitation.

He smirked a little at her expression, finding it amusing. "I give up already. What is it that I have done now that upsets you so?"

"Do not get cute with me, boy," she said and that put a pin in his amusement, boiling it down to anger. "I saw Emma the other day."

Trying to keep himself collected, and wishing to know exactly what could be the issue that it involved the princess, Alexander corked a brow. "And what happened that brings you to my door pissed off the way that you are?"

"Do you think it is amusing to toy with her heart the way that you are doing?"

"I don't know what you are talking about—"

"Alexander, look, I..." she stopped herself from saying something she very clearly wanted to say. She took several deep breaths, to control herself. "Emma isn't like all the other girls you chased. She won't ever be like them. I understood your intentions before at the dinner, I did, and you tried but...I'm asking you now to stop this."

Alexander was quiet for a moment. He wasn't sure how to tell her yet that he hadn't even started yet. "Cadence...I don't know what you think happened, but I didn't do anything yet."

"I don't believe you." He laughed, dryly. "Oh, you think that is something to laugh about?"

"I do, actually. You have known me since I was a babe. You were there when my mother anointed me with those damn oils on my tenth name day, as embarrassing as it was. You really think I would lie to you?" she looked away from him with an annoyed puff of breath. "Honestly Cadence, I haven't done anything yet. At least not intentionally."

"That's just it," she said. "You don't have to even try. You are too bloody sweet!"

"I'm sorry?"

"You should be! If you are not going to listen to me and stay away, you need to be more careful around her Alexander. I am serious here. If you are not, you will end up confusing her into something. If that isn't what you want, you need to stop."

"Why? What happened?"

Cadence shook her head. "I'm not telling you anything private like that, you idiot." he chuckled. It was worth a shot, though that itself was more than an answer. He wasn't about to tell Cadence that. "I will ask you to lay low for a bit though, okay? Give her some time to deal with her father and brother leaving."

"Actually, I was thinking about that Cadence. I know I am not suited to talk to her about it, even if she has an easier time talking to me. I know she needs to talk to her mother or her father about it, but...but things aren't that simple, are they?"

"No, they aren't..."

"I want to help her though, however I can, but how do I do that without talking to her?"

Cadence shrugged. "I'm not sure Alex. I have never had to deal with something like this before and if the gods are good, I will never have to deal with it again."

The gods? He thought bitterly. The gods can go fuck themselves... "Cadence? I won't go see her for a bit but could you do me a favor please?" she nodded. "It doesn't matter if they turn you down, I just want you to try. I need you, in my place because I know her father would rather kill me than listen to me but...try to convince them to talk to her again, even if they have to go blue in the face trying."

Cadence smiled warmly at him and reached out to hug him. "I will try, because that's what we all want, Alex. It is what we all want."

---

Edgar could only stand there staring at the assorted tray of foods, drawing upon a blank on the question his wife had asked him. Across from his wife Cadence hovered, watching curiously. Cambyses was throwing suggestions upon suggestions at him, trying to hurry him along. Several minutes had already gone by, so it was getting to be ridiculous he knew.

"Come on father, it isn't difficult," he sighed from his spot by the door, barely able to keep from leaving already. "Pick the damn tray up and let's go. You'll think of something to say when you get there."

"Don't rush your father, Cambyses," Terra said softly, with eyes full of love and patience, as she returned them to her husband. "Edgar dear...the food is getting cold though."

Cadence said, "Edgar, if the words escape you, that is fine. You just need to show her that you care, and this will show that."

Edgar wasn't sure she was right. Without words, the sentiment itself seemed useless. If he just stood there like some idiot, it wouldn't do much more than not being there.

What am I so afraid of? He thought, staring at his reflection in the silverware. She's just my daughter, no matter what has happened, I can speak to her the same way I ever have. He took a shaking breath as the thoughts left him weak. He knew he couldn't. He couldn't. He was a weak man, and a weaker father. He shook his head. "I can't..."

Terra took the tray and walked away without a word. Edgar knew she was disappointed with him, but she would never know how disappointed he was with himself, and how disgusted he felt over it. Cadence passed him a quick look, one that was understanding, before hurrying after his wife. It was his son that lingered.

"It is okay father. You just need your own way to reach her. Our way doesn't work."

Edgar wasn't even sure if there could ever be a way for things to go back the way that they were. "I'm pathetic...what kind of father can't face his daughter when she needs him the most?"

"Father...please, you must not let that—"

"You do not understand," he cut in. "When I think about talking to her, I freeze up. I...I think about how I failed her. I think about how it all could have been avoided if I did not spoil her that night. I—I think about what pain she was going through and how I couldn't stop it...and how she might think of me."

Cambyses shook his head. "You are wrong. I understand more than you think. If I had gone with her as she requested, I would have been there to stop them from leading her away, from...from..." the words soured in his mouth. "If I hadn't been so concentrated on myself, just for one night, she wouldn't be in this situation. You keep thinking it was wrong to 'spoil' her by letting her go to the ball father, but you're wrong. There was nothing wrong with giving Emma that chance, a chance every girl her age gets to have. The wrong comes from what others did to her. You did nothing wrong and you need to come to terms with that before you cause irrevocable damage by staying away from your daughter." He started out the door before pausing to look back at him. "Put your damn pride down for a moment father...for Emma's sake." and then he was gone.

Edgar swore. Pride? They thought it was pride that kept him away? How ignorant were they...no. If only it were pride, then he could dismiss it and see his precious little girl. No, the demon he wrestled with was something far worse. Something he was unmatched against and useless against. Fear. Did they really not see that?

He smashed his fist into the table and squeezed his eyes shut against his tears. What he would give to be rid of this fear, to confront his daughter as if nothing had happened.

••••••••••••

Emma stretched out across her bed, yawned and looked over at her grandfather clock, was nearly six o'clock at night. She knew soon enough her mother would appear with her food and then the rest of the night she just wait for her exhaustion to take her away, but it was beginning to get to her.

If Alexander were here, we could talk or... she blushed when she realized she had started to think of him. She groaned and reached for her pillow to press it against her face. He hasn't been around for a while though...did I do something wrong? She sighed. He is probably just busy. It was so hard trying to keep up with what 'normal' people did. She wanted to see him so terribly though. Why couldn't he just appear? Why did fate decide suddenly that he had to be days delayed?

She sat up, sitting the pillow aside to reach for her sketchbook and quills. Her hands still felt awkward, but she wanted to try to draw the image in her mind. She opened the sketchbook to a fresh page and began to sketch. The details started delicate, with long strokes, until she had enough down that she could continue forward with more defining strokes. When she was done, she looked at the rendition of the young man that confused her every day now. The sketch looked very much like him, or so she thought, but it failed to capture the parts about him that she was missing very much that minute. The distinct coloring of his eyes, the way that he laughed, the warmth of him even when he did not touch her, the sound of his voice and the strange, mechanical scents that wafted off of him from hard hours of work. She gave another sigh and leaned forward on her elbows to stare down at her rendition of Alexander.

Cadence doesn't understand...she couldn't ever. How would I tell him something I don't even understand?

A knock on her door drew her attention. "Emma, it is your mother. I have your supper. May I come in?" Emma quickly closed her sketchbook and hid it under her pillows and blankets.

"Come in."

When she saw Cadence behind her mother, her heart started to race. With Cadence around, the woman would surely snoop and poke and make comments around her mother to get her to talk. Her mother sat the tray down to hurry over and take her into a tight hug. Emma could barely breathe. "M-mother...please..."

She giggled as she let her daughter go. "Oh, ssh, sweety and let your mother have her hugs."

"So Emma, have you seen Alexander lately?" Cadence asked with a smile, one that was very telling. Emma shot her a look that clearly said shut up. Terra looked up from the tray that she was preparing. Little did Emma know Cadence was plotting something very neatly behind her back.

"You know, I haven't see him in the castle grounds the last few days."

Emma's cheeks redden. "I...I don't know."

Terra shrugged. "Well then I can ask Maria and—" Emma graced Cadence with a glare and Cadence bit down on giggle. "—see what is going on. Oh, I forgot your medication...silly me."

"Terra, forget about the Alexander thing, okay?" Cadence said, quickly passing Emma a smile. "I remember he told me he's working with his father on some of the airship designs. As for the medication," she walked to the door. "I'll go get it. You just be sure Emma eats today."

I don't need to be watched, she thought, annoyed.

Terra smiled. "Alright. Thank you so much Cadence."

When they were alone, Emma relaxed. It was very clear that Cadence was teasing her in front of her mother to try and get her to make a slip to her mother about her strange feelings for Alexander, or something else concerning Alexander. It was annoying. Why did everyone feel the need to do such things?

Alexander wouldn't do this to me. He would try and... she hesitated and looked at her mother stirring her supper tea with blush. She was thinking of him again! She sighed, catching her mother's attention. Terra smiled as she walked the class of tea over. "Now now, no more sighing. I know you and your father do not like tea, but it is good for you. Besides, I picked the one that tastes the best. Just for you."

Emma accepted the tea with a frown. "It...it isn't about the tea mother, really," she looked down into the greenish water, her thoughts once again muddled by the young man.

"What's wrong?" Terra sat down beside her and took her hand, gently and soothingly. "If...if you wish to talk about it, I'm here for you."

Emma took her hand away. "I'm okay..."

Terra sighed and got back up to get the food. "If you change your mind..."

Emma thought on it for a second and then mumbled, "Mother?" she turned to look at her daughter, brows raised. Maybe mother can help me with him... "Could...could I ask you something?"

"Of course," Terra sat aside the tray. "You can ask me anything dear. What is it?"

"Does..." she hesitated on her real question, her courage fading fast. Instead, she found another question that seemed far easier to voice. "Does father and Camb really have to go with the main forces?"

Terra gave her a look before she shook her head. "No, I suppose they don't have to do anything they don't want to do."

"Then why are they going?"

"Because they feel that they must in some ways, and in other situations they are pressed to."

Emma did not understand it at all. Sensing that, Terra smiled softly and found a spot beside her. "What I mean is...for your father, he must go because a king that can send men to die for him and his daughter is easily whispered about but also because he could not live with himself for it if he did not go himself to protect the kingdom and you. Your brother wishes to go because he feels he must as the crowned prince for very similar reasons, to learn and grow and fight for the people he will inherit but also for you."

Emma felt tears in her eyes. "What if I don't want them to fight for me?"

"If it were about what you wanted, this war would be over Emma," she said gently. "It isn't though. War cannot be stopped by one side's refusal alone, or blood shed will only be the answer for that side's inaction. If your father does nothing, Roskovo will simply march forward and take everything—killing thousands of people. In this way, he can preserve as much as he can and try to stop him."

"Is...isn't there a way for peace?"

Terra looked at her like she said something unimaginable, something horrible. "Peace?" Emma nodded. "Emma, you are just a child, you do not understand how complicated this is...there's no way for peace, not now."

"But...why not?"

"How can you ask that?" Terra asked her quietly, pale purple eyes looking at her with tears in them.

Emma wasn't sure she understood, and now she was afraid she said something wrong to cause her mother to cry. She felt immense guilt but she wanted her mother to understand what she wanted. "I...I don't care about anything else, about Roskovo or—or the war, I just want them to stay here. To...to stay safe."

"I want that too my dear girl, but it isn't practical. The Roskovian royal family has..." she stopped herself. "You are just a child...you do not understand."

Emma looked away. Child or not, I'm not stupid...I know it concerns me because they did to me, but it doesn't matter. It shouldn't have to cost so many lives. I don't matter that much.

"Regardless, we must face what is front of us," Terra said, pulling her daughter from her thoughts. "In a few days, your father and brother will be leaving and we will have to be there for them, to send them off."

Emma felt anger swell in her. "No. I don't want to see them."

"You do not mean that," her mother put her arm around her daughter and smiled. "I know you don't. You may be angry, but I know you want to say goodbye, to wish them a fair journey."

The door opened then and in came Cadence carrying a small vial of something red. When she noticed that they were talking, rather than eating, she sighed. "Terra, you were supposed to make sure she eats."

"I'll eat," Emma said, annoyed.

Terra laughed. "So you will, so you will," she got up. "Come dear, eat and take your pain medications. The day will be long enough, we do not need to make it more intolerable for you."

Emma knew better than to argue. Though she was feeling far better lately, she did not wish to antagonize her mother and worry her by trying to decline the medication that seemed to make her more tired and out of it than pain free and abled. And then suddenly a bowl of broth and potatoes was shoved into her hands.

"Eat up, my dear," her mother said. "And I do not want to hear a single complaint from you about it."

"Oh mother, but—"

"Emma." she said simply, and that was that. With a sigh, she started to eat. The broth was absolutely disgusting. It wasn't even salty, and in this case, Emma thought she'd even accept spicy, as much as she hated it. Instead it was just this bitterness that burned down her tongue. Not even the potatoes tasted good.

When she was finished and was handed the vial, she prepared herself for the bitter, foulness of the pain medication and the almost rapid exhaustion that followed it. As she pressed it to her lips and drank, her mother smiled at her as she cleaned up the dishes.

"Oh, and Emma...when you wake, may we talk about Alexander?"

Emma nearly choked on her medication. Cadence looked surprised by it too, and looked at the princess with a look that said 'I didn't say anything!'. "W-what about Alexander?"

Terra simply laughed happily. "Oh dear, I'm not blind. I know why you let him visit you so much before it all, and of course I do not blame you. He is a very comely young man."

"I...I don't understand..."

Cadence was trying to hide a smile behind her hand. It really was so obvious, obvious to everyone but Alexander and Cambyses. Cadence was sure that if Edgar was around to see how much the two talked and had hung around each other before the assault, he would notice it too, and would not have taken kindly to Alexander's new found interest in his daughter. And would of course be angry, or upset. Cambyses didn't see it because he was too caught up, she thought, in the war preparations.

"About your crush, of course," she said as she walked to the door. Emma's face had turned as white as snow. "If you would like to discuss it, of course." Emma could only stare, terrified. Cadence finally let out a soft giggle and took the queen's arm.

"Come Terra, we have business elsewhere. Let her rest."

When the door closed behind them, Emma gave a cry and fell back to grab her pillow and hide her face under it. Now her mother was aware of...of whatever it was she felt and would be pestering her with it all day until she spoke to her about it. Emma had no idea how she would get around the prodding of both Cadence and her mother.

Why couldn't I not have noticed this feeling? she wondered, once again thinking of Alexander.

••••••••••••

The next day was just another day closer to when her brother and father would depart for war. Two more days. That was all she had left to convince them, to convince someone, not to go. It was beginning to seem impossible though. No one cared what she had to think about it and it was all being fought for her! It seemed so ridiculous. She didn't care about Roskovo or their royal family. She only wanted her family to stay close and safe, but no, her requests were disregarded as those of an ignorant little girl.

And on that day when her brother stopped by to talk to her, she tried again. She tried so desperately to convince him to stay with her, to stay with the family, but he once again brushed her concerns and pleas aside with laughter and smiles, assuring her everything would be alright.

"Camb, please, don't do this," she said, following him to her door, fidgeting.

He smiled at her patiently, as if he was dealing with some annoying little toddler. "I have made up my mind Emma, it is done. You are only wasting your breath at this point."

"I'll waste it until you stay," she said firmly.

He laughed. "As stubborn as ever..." he reached out to rustle her hair and she shoved his hand away, angry. "Listen to me baby sister, this war is a defensive one, and several of our cabinet councilmen indicate that Roskovo doesn't have the resources to maintain warfare. This won't last more than a few months, a year at most. We will be home before you know it."

"I don't want you to leave at all," Emma said.

"Well, we must," he shook his head. "Sometimes war is unavoidable."

"There has to be a way to avoid it here!"

"No, there isn't!" he snapped, startling her. "Roskovo doesn't want to sue for peace Emma and any terms they would ask for in that situation would be impossible to accept. Just..." he hesitated. "Forget it. It is time you start growing up and accept it." and then he turned and left her alone.

••••••••••••

On the next day, one day before the departure, there was unrest in the castle again with her brother. Emma knew it was inevitable that his anger would return, but she had hoped it would return much later. Thankfully she still hid away in her room so she was not the target of his rage, but she could still hear him storming around and even got updates from Cadence on his behavior. The woman was becoming increasingly annoyed by the younger prince.

Cambyses did not visit her that day. Emma thought it was because of what she said, but Cadence had said he was spending the day with Benjamin after he blew up on their father in the training yards again. He was trying to disarm their brother's anger and Emma hoped he could do it. In the mean time, she was reluctantly made to get ready for the farewell event with Cadence until her mother could be freed of her duties to help.

It started with picking out attire, though Emma wasn't sure why she needed to dress specially for it, and of course when she found out she had to leave the castle she threw a fit.

"No! I'm not going, I'm not!"

"They will be at the South Figaro docks, you won't be able to—"

Emma would not leave her room for something she did not agree with in the first place. "I won't go, I won't!"

"It is for your brother and father, how could you not?" Cadence asked, setting aside the pretty dress she had purchased for the occasion. "Even if you disagree with the war or with your loved ones leaving to fight it, you shouldn't let that get in the way with sending them off with good wishes. Heavens girl, what if something were to happen and your last moments were spent here being stubborn? You would regret it so dearly. Do not make this mistake. See them off!"

Emma looked away, uncomfortable. Now she was afraid of those possibilities, but she still could not face the outside world, of the faces, the staring, the fear. She felt like someone was pulling her into two. "I...I can't do it Cadence, I can't." she let her tears fall. "I can't."

Cadence knelt before her and took her hands in hers. "You are afraid, I understand that it keeps you from going, but courage's first steps are often the most difficult to take Emma. You are not the daughter of a lamb or a stag though, you are the daughter of a lion, and a lion does not cower so easily. The fierceness in your brothers and father...it lies in you too. You just have to seize it."

"I don't have it," she sobbed. "I don't. If I go out there..."

"I will be right there with you Emma, the entire time," she said, tightening her grasp on the girl's hands. "I will not leave your side and you will see that you have that strength in you too. That there is nothing to be afraid of out there. If you would give me a chance to stand by you...if you would give yourself a chance...you would see it Emma. Please."

Emma sniffed and rubbed at her nose. "Can...can I go in my own c-clothes?"

Cadence laughed and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "Of course you can."

••••••••••••

The day finally arrived that the army would depart for Roskovo, and the king and crowned prince with it. Emma had done a masterful job at avoiding it until then, but Cadence and her mother would not let her for long. They came by early in the morning and woke her up so they could get ready, since the departure would be early in the morning as well.

"It's so early," she mumbled as she rubbed at her eyes, still in bed, though she was half-heartedly moving the blankets aside as the women went about getting her clothes and basin ready.

"Early as it should be," her mother said as she went to the window to tear it open and let in the chilly morning breeze. It always stirred her daughter into action. Emma shivered and tugged the blanket up over her body. "We have to be ready and on the road before five am Emma, come now, hurry it up. You have twenty minutes in there."

Emma glanced at her clock. It was only four. She sighed and climbed out of bed to take her warm, lovely bath. Cadence had sat aside her towels and clothes and smiled brightly at her. "We shall have something set aside when you are done to break your fast. Be sure to hurry, we don't have much time." and then she left the room with great haste.

They were certainly acting like there wasn't a moment to spare. Emma would not be rushed of the morning activities she found comfort in though. The routine kept her from going insane. She tested the water and found it too cold for her liking—her mother and Cadence never dared to heat it further—and turned the hot water on until it grew hot enough to seep deep into her bones. Only then did she step into the soothing water and begin her routine.

••••••••••••

Terra neatly sorted the food along the table and glanced across the room towards Cadence, who was standing at the dresser, looking at the images Emma had collected in a neat line across the top—most of which was of her brothers and family. It was clear that her son's lover and her daughter's relationship had blossomed into something far greater than a simple friendship. Cadence would know things about her daughter that she kept hidden from everyone else, including her own mother.

Perhaps she even knows more about Emma's infatuation with Alexander, she thought, wishing desperately to know more about her daughter and know if it was possible that her daughter could feel that way after her assault. She sighed and Cadence looked at her, worried.

"What's wrong Terra?"

"Cadence..." she wondered if her daughter could hear her and prayed that she could not. "You know how she feels about Alexander, don't you?"

Cadence looked uncomfortable. "I can't talk about it Terra..."

"I've known for a while," she said with a small chuckle. "Even before the assault." she said. "Edgar and I discussed sending her away, and do you know what she thought of first when she considered it?" Cadence shook her head and Terra smiled softly. "She thought of him." that made Cadence feel even more uncomfortable. "I knew then that what she felt for...for...Lucas." just saying his name made her sick. "I knew it wasn't strong, because the way she wanted to see Alexander was so clearly more than the ways she wanted to see him. I knew then she was infatuated with him, I just didn't think it would end up like this."

"End up like what?" Cadence asked.

Terra's expression was one of pain and annoyance, at the edge of anger. "I am not blind Cadence. I know that Alexander is not the kind of boy to fall for a girl like my little Emma, but to directly disregard her like this...it is beyond cruel." When Cadence tensed up, Terra knew her answer. "So that is it...he is avoiding her."

"Terra, it isn't that simple. I just can't tell you—"

"Is it really that hard for someone to fall for my daughter?" she asked softly, tears in her eyes as she looked away. Before Cadence could answer, Emma opened the door and came out wrapped in her towels, hair plastered to her face.

"I'm out, I'm out," she hurriedly said, rushing into her room on wet feet, clutching her crutches with trembling arms. She looked at the clock with a smile, having met her timer. "I made it."

Terra rubbed her tears away with a laugh. "Now if only you could do so any other day, my dear girl." she glanced at Cadence again. "Cadence, would you mind helping her with rest? I must be off to see Sabin and Hals before we depart."

Cadence nodded. "Of course Terra."

Terra thanked her before pulling her daughter into a hug and kissing her face. The girl managed a 'mother!' but that was it. "I'll see you shortly. Do not dawdle." and then she hurried away before her emotions could crack to the surface again.

••••••••••••

Emma watched her mother go before looking at Cadence. "Is mother upset with me?"

Cadence merely smiled and gestured to her clothes and food. "Of course not. Now hurry it up, we have very little time to begin with. We can't waste it away here." Emma did as she was bid, hurrying through her tasks as quickly as she could—even getting hiccups from eating so fast—and then happily sat so Cadence could do her hair into elegant curls. "There, now you are fit."

Her attire consisted of a dark blue satin skirt and a tunic top with gray sequin embellishments knitted into trinity knots. A far cry from the traditional royal gowns or attire her mother tried desperately to get her to dress into so many times or the dress Cadence had bought for her, but something Emma felt comfortable in as it was from her own collection.

And then Emma stared at her reflection in the mirror with furrowed brows. She really did look so strange whenever Cadence pampered her like this. She looked like a princess for real. She reached up to touch one of the curls falling down her temple, hesitant, and yet amazed by how pretty she looked. Or, thought she looked pretty at least.

Suddenly she felt the urge to want Alexander to see her like this. A fierce blush crossed her cheeks and she avoided Cadence's curious eyes in the mirror, knowing if the woman looked long enough she'd guess. "What's wrong Emma?"

"Cadence...who will be there?"

"Well, your mother and brother of course, and then Sabin and his folk, oh and my parents and brother. Cambyses asked us there."

Emma thought that made sense. They were considered family for various reasons (such as the bond her mother shared with Locke), and she had no doubt that soon enough her brother would make Cadence officially family. However, it stung to realize that the only family to be excluded was the Gabbiani family.

"Cadence? Is...I mean...will the Gabbiani family be there?"

The woman shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Terra did invite them, but Setzer declined for them, stating business and work was cluttering up too much as is. Not even the younger sons were spared from it, as I heard it."

So they weren't excluded, they denied the invitation. Emma didn't know what to make of that. "Why do you ask?" at her silence, Cadence oh'd. "You want Alexander there, don't you?" her deepening blush was more than an answer. "Haven't you wondered why it was so obvious for me and your mother Emma? Your crush is so clear to anyone looking." her laughter only made Emma angrily shove away and stomp off. "Oh, wait, wait, stop that brooding, I don't mean to tease you."

"You say that but you always tease me!"

"I don't mean it, I don't," she held back her laughter and offered up her hands in a gesture of good will. "My mouth honestly just runs ahead of me, I forget it can come off as...rude or whatnot. I don't mean anything by it, I swear." she calmed herself down so she didn't start giggling over Emma's adorableness or her situation and then said, "Look, Alexander won't be there for the departure, but maybe...maybe he'll arrive later and if not, maybe I can look around and see when his schedule will be clear."

Emma blinked at her, confused. "You...you would do that? Really?"

Cadence smiled. "Of course I would. Now, let's go. I'm sure everyone is already waiting for us at the foyer."

The walk to the foyer was as terrifying as Emma thought it would be. It took every ounce of her strength not to turn and run, but thankfully Cadence had both an arm tightened around hers and words of encouragement. The soldiers they passed did nothing spare a quick glance with a warm smile, while the staff welcomed her with the same vigor they had before the assault. Emma knew deep down they meant no harm, she knew it, but somehow it always came down to thinking what they could do to her or what they thought of her, and in the end it felt the same.

"We're almost there," Cadence whispered as they neared the foyer. Emma tried to focus on their steps instead of the people around them, instead of her fear and paranoia. And then they were inside, and Emma immediately caught sight of her mother standing beside her brother Benjamin and Locke Cole. Celes was off to the side, whispering to Hals. Upon seeing the general, Emma shrunk behind Cadence and out of sight, until her mother saw her at last.

"Emma, there you are. Good grief, I thought you were going to be late."

Cadence gave a stiff. "That's my fault. I kept her back so we could talk for a moment."

Locke's loud mouth cut through their conversation. "Emma! Well, look at you!" he appeared at Terra's side, smiling, but before he could continue with whatever it was he was going to say, Terra stopped him and he mumbled the rest of it under his breath. "Anyway, glad to have you here."

"Father, stop pestering her please," Cadence ordered, and he laughed her comment away stiffly. "Come with me Emma, we'll grab a seat. Terra, would you like to sit with us?" as Locke quietly went to his seat, bashful, Cadence escorted Emma to a free seat among the sofas. Terra kindly disengaged herself from Locke's side and discussion to walk with the girls to a free seat.

"I'm so glad you've joined us after all," her mother whispered to her. "Thank you Emma." the princess didn't know what to say to it, so she kept her eyes down and her mouth shut. It was comforting to finally sit though and relaxing into the soft cushions of the sofa. Cadence had quickly gone over to the table to retrieve drinks and a small bowl of grapes for them to eat while they waited, and it was a grateful gesture—one Emma hadn't and would never realize was meant to distract her.

After several minutes Celes arrived with her son Jacen. Emma had not been paying attention at first, but when she heard the boy's voice she looked up and then stiffened beside her mother even as Cadence rose to greet her mother and brother.

"Where is Sabin and his lot?" Emma heard the general ask her daughter. Cadence gave a gentle shrug. The door opened then and Sabin stumbled in with his wife and daughter and sons. It was strange to see her oldest cousin amongst them, given how he felt toward her, but yet there he was. Emma looked away, feeling a sickness begin to bubble in her.

"Calm your heart, my dear pumpkin," her mother whispered to her as she patted her hand. "Family will not hurt family." Emma knew they wouldn't. That wasn't the problem.

Sabin greeted everyone else and then rushed over to take his niece into a hug, ignoring Terra when she said 'don't'. Emma was startled at first but hugged him back after a moment, unwilling to tell him he was pressing too hard. "My sweet niece," he said, and Emma thought she heard a faint sob in his words. "It is so good to have you here with us. Thank you."

"Yes yes, enough with that," Celes said, annoyed with him. "Where is your brother? And nephew? They will be late if—"

"They were just steps behind me," Sabin said quickly. "Talking with Suon, so just relax." she hmpf'd him and he chuckled. Terra got up to try and cool off the situation.

Why are they so eager to send them off? Emma thought, watching Celes silently scold her uncle for being rather curt with her. Don't they understand the danger? No...they don't. They don't...they don't even understand the people they are going off to fight. How cruel they are... She couldn't wish them as enemies on anyone, and the thought that her brother and father would be facing a family with men in it that could be so cruel filled her with terror. She started to cry softly. Gods, please...protect them. Don't take them from me, I beg you.

Cadence reseated herself and took the girl's hand. "Be brave, Emma. We will see this through."

The girl looked up at her solemnly. "Don't...don't you worry?"

"Over Cambyses?" she asked quietly and then sighed even as she leaned back into her chair. "I will always worry for him, but it is his decision and I must respect it. I see strength in him, so I know he will come back me. To us."

I do not feel the same, she thought darkly as she inspected the woman for any sign of doubt. Her expression was as blank as fresh paper, but her eyes burned with a force Emma knew could only mean she was sure of herself. Her brother trained with the best, but that did not make him invincible and the gods had a nasty habit of taking and taking from her, so she wouldn't put it passed them to harm her by taking her brother and father away from her.

Finally, her father and brother arrived with Suon, and the departure began rapidly. Emma scarcely had the time to get up before she was being pulled this way and that way, or told to do this and that. Emma kept looking at her father, startled by how much he seemed to have changed in the short time they hadn't seen each other. He seemed so much older.

Her father didn't seem to notice her staring at all either, though she was thankful for that. She wasn't sure how she'd respond if he looked at her or approached her. What would she say? What would she do? Would she demand to know why he did not see her all this time? Would she ask him if he had set up her attack as a punishment? Would she ask him if he even loved her?

Not even when they were jostling down the roads towards South Figaro did she find the courage to ask him, even when he sat two seats ahead of her. Instead she sat quietly at the back, with Cadence, wondering over everything strange he might have said or done in front of her and what that could mean for her.

Cadence immediately caught onto the fidgety and quick stares from the girl and reached over to draw the window separating them from her father closed, so that they could have some privacy.

"Heavens girl, what are you fidgeting about so much for?"

"I am?" she mumbled.

"You are," Cadence took her hand. "Listen to me, everything will be fine. You must calm yourself, it will only hurt you otherwise." They felt the carriages slowing then, and Cadence squeezed the princess' hands gently. "I will be at your side through this Emma, I promise, but you must take a breath."

Emma tried pathetically to do as instructed but the anxiety bubbling up inside her only grew. She instead drew her eyes away and willed her trembling to slow, so that her unease wasn't so easy to see. Cadence gave her a small frown. "Emma, please, don't feel like you have too—" but there was a knock on the window and Terra announced they were at the docks.

"Emma," she whispered again, leaning close to the girl. "What I said...I didn't mean for you to push aside how you feel. My words...they meant that you should...how do I best explain this?" she sounded so hopeless that Emma stopped her there.

"It is okay Cadence, I understand you didn't mean any h-harm," she looked out the window toward the ocean immersed in the early morning darkness. "I'm...I'm trying my best."

"That is well enough for anyone, is all I meant to say, to try." Cadence assured her with a smile as the carriages pulled to a stop. They jostled a bit inside the carriage and listened to the noises of the others exited the carriages before any of them moved or spoke. "Dear?" Emma looked at her. "Would you be willing to join me at the docks? I'd love the company."

Emma had wanted to spend the time inside the carriages, but now that she thought about it, she did not want to be alone, especially here where anyone could be lurking. She nodded.

"Splendid news!" she giggled. "I'm sure your father and brother would love to see you before they go, too." it was also obvious that if she had denied Cadence, eventually her mother would come snooping and force her to accompany her, and Emma knew her mother would be walking with her father. That was something she wanted to avoid. "Afterward, you and I can spend the day however you want. If you want to spend the day with me of course. Does that sound okay?" She simply murmured an inaudible response, but it was enough for Cadence. "Good, it is a date then."

"C-Cadence?" she looked up at the woman's bright eyes. "Did you ask...I mean...did—did Alexander get to accompany us?"

Cadence had hoped the girl had forgotten about her inconvenient crush on the Gabbiani eldest son for the day, but yet it seemed she was quite adamant about it. She knew one thing for certain. If she had thought to ask the Gabbiani boy to attend, Edgar and Cambyses would have been furious the moment they noticed the extremely clear infatuation the princess had with him. Luckily Edgar's anger would have been purely a fatherly one though. She sighed. "I'm afraid not Emma. You remember what I said earlier about this being for family?" Although she did feel it wasn't fair that the Gabbiani family wasn't attending due to work, it couldn't be helped. They felt they were better suited spending their time on work, and Alexander knew better than to make himself present around the girl right now.

Noticing how devastated the princess looked, Cadence felt so sorry for her. Gods, why did they have to make her fall for such a buffoon? She smiled brightly at the girl. "How about this Emma? After we leave here, I can try to sneak you into the aerodome to see him. Does that sound good?" that made the girl smile softly, honestly. Giving her a little hope was worth it to Cadence, even if she knew Alex was not good for the princess, or that they were not actually going to head around to the aerodome (as the girl would tire long before then). "But for now, you must keep that pretty smile on for your family, okay?"

Almost on cue, Cambyses opened the door to their carriage and peaked his head in with a smile. "Come on you two, we have a lot to do before we have to go." Emma turned her face away with a childish hmpf and he laughed. "I'll drag you out if I have to little sister." he leaned down to take her hand. "Would you like me to walk you out?" she turned her head further away from him, brows furrowed. Cadence tried to pretend she was not witnessing their little fight. "Would you like me to ask mother to walk you then?"

I'm not some cripple, I can do it myself! she wanted to blurt out. Her walking had gotten better, though she knew her mother would use the fact that she couldn't stop tripping over her own feet before her attack. "I can do it myself."

He didn't seem to believe her, or like the idea. "Well...alright then, but at least have Cadence aide you." when she did not answer him, he cleared his throat. "Emma? Did you hear me?"

"I said I can do it myself!" she snapped. Cadence shifted uncomfortably beside her, avoiding their eyes. Cambyses shook his head with a sigh before walking away.

When Emma made it outside, everyone was gathering around their carriages, laughing and speaking to each other as if they were not about to send off family to unforeseen dangers. Benjamin was the only other one out of the group, glaring hatefully at their forced attempts at normalcy. Emma knew he would turn that look to her soon enough.

She spotted her father and mother at the head of the carriages later as Cadence walked with her out of the quieting group. They were whispering to each other, looking devastated and solemn. Her father was holding her mother's hands, and she was crying, though it was clear she was trying to hide it from him. Her brothers were gathered up by her uncle and cousins, saying their goodbyes.

Since it would be some time until the men were properly filed up on the ships and ready to depart, Emma had Cadence walk her over to a stone bench along a weathered stone wall so she could rest until then. As soon as she was seated, Cadence promised to be back for her later and then left to rejoin Cambyses.

Emma watched them for a while, trying to understand how they could act so normal about something that would cost so many people their lives. Why were they so determined to throw away so much? And for what? For her? No. She couldn't say it was for her. It was for something else entirely. Pride. Arrogance. Or maybe something between the two. All they had to do as a nation was turn its back to Roskovo. Early scouts had determined that it had a rather primitive military compared to Figaro or Doma, comparing to Thamasa in strength. What threat could they offer Figaro? All her father had to do was ignore them. So why? Why did he rise to Roskovo's provocations?

One day she knew they would regret this decision, and in turn regret her. She was the cause for all their problems now, and she had no idea how to make it better. She wished Relm was here with her, as she always knew how to fix things. She was great at it.

Cadence took the chance to slip away from Cambyses a moment after a warning belled through the air that the ships were ready and appeared by Emma's side. "I'm sorry I'm a bit late, your brother was being so damn stubborn." she shook her head and sat down to take the girl's hand. "Now, don't look so glum Emma. I promise you everything will turn out just fine, just you wait and see. This farewell will be just be temporary but your brother and father will be fine, and soon they will be back at your side."

Emma felt fresh tears build in her eyes as she watched her brother approach his mother and father with his brother. No, I know how the gods test me, she thought fearfully. She did not voice herself though even as the young woman lifted herself again to greet Cambyses as he approached them with the rest of the family.

Edgar took her mother into a hug then. "My sweet love, I will be back, but until then things will be different—more difficult. You must protect this kingdom with everything you have in you. I ask much of you, I know..." he sighed. "You cannot trust the council, not all of them at least. There are only a few of them with good integrity, but even then their interests no longer align with Figaro's. If you need help, seek the aide of Hals or the other generals, or Relm and Gau." and then he kissed her longingly for a moment and released her. "Watch over our son, my love." and for a moment it looked as if that was it, but then he whispered. "And keep our daughter close by."

Terra took his hands softly. "Please, say goodbye to her Edgar." he looked away, unsure. "Edgar, please," she insisted. "I know it is difficult for you to speak to her, but she needs you. Now more than ever, please put aside whatever you are feeling for our daughter's sake. I'm begging you."

Edgar shook his head. "She will turn me away Terra..."

"She's grieving," she whispered. "She doesn't want to lose you and Cambyses. She loves you two so much."

"She must come to understand that sometimes the hardest decisions are the right ones. I must go, not only for her and our family now, but for the countless innocent lives that now stand between us and Roskovo. It must be done, regardless of how I or my daughter feels."

Terra looked hopeless, and a little mad. "So you will not even speak with her?"

"I—" he paused to glance over his shoulder to his daughter, who was now accompanied by Cadence. The woman was talking to Emma, but the girl was not looking at her or anyone else. It seemed, to him, that being talked to was the least of things she wanted that moment. Yet he owed her for all the time he waited to talk to her after her rape, and even if she didn't want to talk at the moment, he had to. Terra was right. It was finally time he set aside his fear, for his daughter's sake. This could be the last time that he saw her. He took a deep, staggering breath, terrified. "—I will do just that." he patted his son's back and told him to say his goodbyes before he made his way to his daughter.

The moment he appeared by their side, Cadence quieted. It took Emma a second to catch the silence and then when she raised her head, she saw that her father stood before her with a slight smile on his face. She made a squeak of a noise even as Cadence rose to give them some privacy.

Gods, he thought, staring into her eyes before she looked away. You really are growing into quite a young lady. So much like your mother. I've been such an ass avoiding you...

"Emma, my dear girl, I just..." the words were too hard to say and awkward after so long separated. They felt fake to say aloud despite being more real than anything else he wanted to say that day. "I just wished to say my goodbyes to you." she did not look up at him or say anything. He hesitated before he reached for one of her hands. When she stiffened at his touch, he understood and immediately took a step back. "I will be back. I want you to understand that. I promise you and please, remember that I love you with all my heart, no matter what happens. You mean...you mean everything to me." he waited a moment for a response before he sighed and gave her a gentle smile. "Goodbye then, my dear." and then he walked away briskly, before she could spot the tears in his eyes.

Emma lifted her eyes to see her father retreating to his wife and two sons, and released a shaky breath. She wanted to say something, she wanted to hug her father, but something in her would not allow her to. The fear that he might have set things up still lingered in her mind. A part of her knew that Cadence was right, that her father would never do anything like that, but for some reason it was the only thing that made sense to her. Why else did he refuse to see her? Why else did he suddenly give her permission to go when he had never once relented on requests like that before? Why would her attackers say something like that? What could be the point?

"Emma?" the princess looked up to see Cambyses. "Did you two talk?" she didn't know if it could be called talking if she didn't speak, but she didn't want her brother pestering her about it, so she nodded. "That's good. I thought I was going to need to intervene more...can we talk some too, then?"

She looked away, still angry. "Not unless you have changed your mind..."

"Emma, come on," he mumbled. "Please don't be like that."

"You can still change your mind and stay with us—with me." she said, finally letting her tears drop.

Cambyses said, "Well, I have not changed my mind little sister," her ruffled her hair, smiling. "I'll see you again though, and if I cannot get my goodbyes here and now from you, that's fine. I'll give you mine instead." he reached over to give her a half hug. "I'll be back..." he let go of her and smiled a little brighter. "You better behave for mother while we are gone, and don't worry about Benjamin. I've talked to him. If he misbehaves again, just remind him that I'll whip him fierce if he doesn't stop."

Emma started to cry. "Don't leave me," she pleaded.

"Goodbye Emma," he gave a gentle incline of his head and then walked away toward his father standing by the ships. Emma got up and hurried away towards the carriages, crying. Cadence caught sight of her and went to follow her, but Terra stopped her.

"Give her a moment alone," she said. "She needs time to accept that they are leaving."

After they watched the ships drift away into the horizon, through the morning mist, they went back to the carriages together, quietly. Benjamin was unusually quiet the entire walk but the moment they caught sight of Emma waiting at the carriages, sniffling, his quiet had broken. He looked at his mother, well aware his sister could hear them.

"I will not sit with her."

"Benjamin, now is not the time for this—"

"I have made myself clear!" he shouted. "I won't sit with the one responsible for this war!"

"That's enough!" Terra howled, pointing to one of the carriages. "You will keep your mouth shut the rest of the drive back to the castle do you hear me? Not another word about your sister or to your sister! Now go and sit down!"

"No, I'm not a little boy anymore to be ordered about," he said. "Either she sits in the back where she belongs or I'm not going back."

Cadence was stunned to her core. Never in her life had she heard Benjamin talk to his mother like this. He had always been so respectful to her, his mother's little prince. A mommy's boy others had called him all his life, and he hadn't minded it one bit. And yet now he was acting completely out of line.

Terra was so startled by it she just stood there, blinking back tears. None of them had noticed Sabin charging towards them until it was too late and he grabbed Benjamin by the neck and forced him to his knees. Terra gave a shout of surprise and hurried forward to try and pry Sabin's hands free from her son's neck.

"Sabin, stop, please!"

"No! I'm sick and tired of his behavior! And if you are too kind to handle it then I will in his father's place!"

"Unhand me!"

That only infuriated the man even more. He pressed harder until the prince was on his knees and hands before his mother. "Apologize to your mother right now before I beat the hell out of you boy!"

"Let go of me right this instance!"

"Apologize now!"

"Uncle, stop!"

Sabin immediately let go of his nephew at the sound of his niece, startled by the horrified tone of her voice. He turned to look at her as Benjamin stumbled back to his feet with a loud swear. Terra went to him immediately but he swatted her hands away, more embarrassed than angry. Sabin's anger dissipated quickly. "Emma, I was only trying to get him to apologize to your mother, I wouldn't have hurt him, I swear."

The princess passed him to grab her brother's hand. "Are you okay?"

Benjamin shoved her away and she nearly fell onto the stone pathway had it not been for Sabin catching her by the arms. "Leave me alone!"

"Benjamin, she was only trying to help you!" Cadence hurried to the princess to help her back to her feet. "What is wrong with you?!"

Her brother's eyes were wide, feverish as they locked onto his sister's eyes. "Gods damn you! Nothing but grief has met this family since your birth! Why couldn't we have just left you in Thamasa where you belonged?! Where we could just forget you?!" and then he stormed away from them and the carriages, shoving aside one of the coachmen as he went.

Terra stared after him and she went to her daughter and took her into a hug. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," she was crying as she pressed her tighter against her chest. "I will speak with him, I will make him understand, I will. I promise."

Emma knew though that the animosity between them was much too embedded to be undone by their mother alone. The fury her brother felt was bred from the fear of losing his brother and father, and that was difficult to get over, if not impossible. And the damage of one's words said in that kind of anger put someone in a place they felt, even if they wanted to leave it, was impossible to explain themselves out of or apologize for. No, she felt certain her relationship with her brother was gone.

"Please, ride with Cadence back to the castle. I...I will find you when I get back and we will talk my sweet girl, I promise." and then she lifted the edges of her dress and ran after Ben.

Cadence arrived at her side, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Come with me now Emma, we will ride together." Sabin asked if he should go, but Cadence shook her head and told him to go after Terra and Benjamin, to be sure the boy was kept in line, and then the young woman led the princess back to their carriage.

In the ride back to the castle there was only silence. Cadence had tried to tell her that Benjamin did not mean what he said, but getting her to listen to her proved too difficult. By the look in the girl's eyes Cadence could see that what her brother said bothered her more than she would ever admit to, and yet Cadence could not find the words that could help. She knew Benjamin did not mean his words, but how could she prove it to Emma when everything the boy did worked against her? It would take a lot more than words, it would take action. Perhaps she would think of something and it would just need some time.

However, until then, Cadence laid a hand on the girl's hand and smiled just a bit when she felt Emma's hand turn to grip hers. As silent and reserved as the girl was, Cadence could feel just how much she trusted people and just how much pain she had been through. "Emma...?" she suddenly said aloud, almost surprising herself. "I'm...I'm sorry." And if the girl knew what she was referencing to, Cadence had no idea, but she hoped it helped her either way.

When they reached Figaro Benjamin stormed out of the carriage, ignoring his mother's calls, and charged through the greeting line of soldiers. Terra followed after him when she looked to see if her daughter would be taken care of. Not wanting to cause any more problems, Emma asked to be taken back to her room.

••••••••••••

It had only been four days since the king and crowned prince sailed away with the military to Roskovo and yet it felt as if it had been weeks. The progress on their airships fell to a snail crawl due to thinning crew growing weak or being needed elsewhere around the castle for fortifications, and Alexander was finding himself in growing demand across several projects.

In that time he found himself consistently thinking about the princess and how she was doing. Cadence hadn't come by to tell him what the prince had said to the girl, which normally she would have, so when Alexander heard of the situation from the princess' cousins while he was fixing one of the engines with his father it came as a shock. A shock that evaporated quickly into rage. Luckily for him his father was there to both remind him that he had to stay away to clear those feels away and that his anger wouldn't solve anything.

Alexander knew they were right. That he had to give Emma time away from him to grow away from her fledgling feelings, and yet a part of him did not feel it was right to leave her behind in such a trying and painful time when her brother was distant and cold and her mother was trying desperately to keep him at bay while trying to mend the fragile ground between them at the same time. The princess had Cadence, certainly, but Alexander had no idea if Emma even talked to her the same way she seemed to let herself talk around him.

It was proving to be exceptionally difficult to stay away from her. When he wasn't thinking about her, some fool or another reminded him of her, fueling his desire to see her, if only for a moment. To revere in her laughter or her smile, to feel the delicate touch of her hands and the warmth that came with it. How could the gods be so cruel?

I hope you're okay...

Catching onto his distracted nature, his father put aside his tools. "We have enough work to do without you delaying us another hour. Get your head back into it, boy." Alexander apologized before reaching his hands back into the engines to repair a piece they thought they had repaired two days ago. Edgar's plans were hard to follow, and out of a field of comfort. Setzer let the silence go for a moment before sighing. "You need to stop letting her into your head or none of this will work. You'll be back at her door before long."

He wasn't sure what his father was implying, but he shook his head. "I'm not allowed to even worry about her?"

"I didn't say that," he muttered. "but I can tell just by looking at you your thoughts aren't just about worrying about her." that was enough to make Alexander's cheeks redden. Setzer sat aside his tools. "Alexander, you understand she's not like all those other girls you have been with, right?"

"What does that mean? Of course she's not. She's...she's so different. She's amazingly different."

"For gods' sake," Setzer pinched his nose, clearly annoyed. "That's not what I god damn meant, you fool, and if you don't understand what I meant, it means you definitely cannot go see her yet. You'll say or do something that'll just mislead her further with your carelessness."

"What if she's angry that I've been avoiding her father?"

"Then she will be angry. Better that than misled." he went back to work. "So now that you know, best you get your head back into better things. It'll do you wonders." Alexander did as he was bid, but his mind refused to leave the thoughts of the princess behind.

In the late afternoon after he finished with the engines at last—or so they hoped—he retired to the kitchens to refresh himself before heading back to their family residence. Inside he caught the queen preparing a tea, quickly, as if she had to be somewhere else that second but absolutely needed that tea.

"Your Grace?" she turned to face him, surprised to hear his voice to so late. He usually went home by then. She smiled tired, but he could tell by the way she looked at him she was not particularly in the mood to talk to anyone. She would never of course admit that or let onto it. She was not that kind of person.

"Alexander, dear, you startled me," she sat aside her kettle, lifting a hand to her heart with a little laugh. "What are you doing here so late?"

"I'm just getting something before I leave." he glanced around, to see if anyone else accompanied the queen, and she noticed.

"I'm afraid it is just me today," she said with a brighter smile. Alexander offered her a laugh. He guessed it was pretty obvious who he was looking for, or rather who he preferred to be trailing after the queen. "However, it is good that I have run into you. You know, we haven't seen you around lately."

Alexander wondered if Cadence let it on to the queen why he wasn't around, but he supposed that if she had, the queen wouldn't be so friendly to him right now. Even Terra had her limits. "I've just been busy lately. I know that's no excuse, it is just..."

"Heavens, it is excuse enough," she stopped him there. "You are doing such wonderful things for the sake of the kingdom, and we appreciate it, but I...well this may sound cruel of me as a queen, but I appreciate your efforts towards my daughter far more as a mother. She doesn't have friends you see, not here, and when you started talking to her Alexander I swear I saw a change in her. It was small, but there. I just want you to know how much I appreciate that."

Now he felt even worse. He looked away. "You shouldn't thank me your majesty..." I have been crueler than you know. My intentions started out so twisted.

"Nonsense, nonsense," she laughed, retaking the kettle. "Well, I shouldn't keep you any longer, you must be so tired. I will tell Emma that I saw you and that you are still busy, as she has been wishing to see you and has been so worried."

That had made him feel so strange. He had expected nothing else but her desire to see him, it was the whole reason he was avoiding her, and yet to hear it stated so plainly. It felt...so strange. "Tell her I'll see her as soon as I can, okay?"

"Of course," she gave him a smile and said her goodbyes before hurrying away with the kettle and cups. When she was gone, Alexander leaned his weight against the tables and sighed.

What am I doing...is avoiding her really better for her?

••••••••••••

The first two days after her father and brother left for Roskovo were quiet. Her mother was busy getting everything in place after the sudden disorientation of losing the king to another position, and accepting a female lead, so she was not around much. Her uncle spent the days at the side of her mother, helping her in every way that he could. He kept the council at bay too, snapping at them like a vicious lion if they got to close to a piece of power or requesting it.

Cadence hovered about as usual, but Emma knew the reasons now stemmed from the fact that she was wishing to distract herself from the worry of Cambyses and the war, but she was okay with that. She was just glad that Cadence could love her brother that much. It also meant she was not pestered about embarrassing things, or poked about this and that concerning her father. Instead Cadence steered the conversations towards more 'normalized' things, and attempts at getting Emma to participate in things she did before her assault. Even leaving her room more and more, though that bit was harder than everything else for her to achieve victory in.

Luckily enough for Emma, in her daring, whenever she left her room with Cadence, her brother was not there those first few times. Because if he had been, Emma was certain he would have stirred up a mess. And at the moment she had no energy for it. To take her mind off of her troubles though, her mobility had increased dramatically. Although it still hurt to walk distances without her crutches, she no longer wholly depended on them.

The third day was quiet still, but in a different way. Her mother was mostly out of sight, and whenever she popped into view, she seemed alert to everything, as if she expected some great villain to jump from every shadow, no matter how small, to try and attack her. Cadence hadn't come by to visit her, no one had, so Emma was forced to walk out and confront her mother about it herself. When she asked, cornering her mother in the foyer as she hurried by with a few documents, her mother startled.

"Heavens! Emma, gods, you nearly drove the life out of me...what are you doing out of your room alone at such a late hour?"

Emma wanted to tell her she noticed all of the strangeness that day, the looks she passed to her uncle, the stares she kept making to the guards and the clocks, and the slip of paper she kept reading from her pocket, but she could not. Instead, she found the strength to ask, "Mother...is...is something wrong?"

Terra's voice twisted in such a way it seemed to say that there was, but a smile graced her face. "Why would you ask such a thing? Is this why you are out here dear girl? Heavens..." she shook her head and reached out to take her arm. "Let me walk you back to your room my sweet girl, where you will stay, yes? You need your rest after all."

As they walked, Emma found no other way to say it, so she did, "Cadence hasn't seen me today..."

That made her mother falter, but she gave a gentle shrug. "Perhaps she was just busy Emma, the days are trying after all. I'm sure she will be there to greet you in the morning."

Emma could feel it. Something was off. As they approached her door, she looked at her mother. "Mother?" she hmm'd. "You...you wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

That made her mother face her, eyes wide. "Why would you ask something like that?" Emma looked away but Terra took her into a small hug. "I would never lie to you...not again." she held her for a moment before letting her go with a sigh. "Now, dear girl, you need to get some sleep, okay? Do not make me think you are wandering about the castle..."

"Yes, mother." she mumbled and then watched as her mother hurried away with great urgency. Now she was absolutely certain something was wrong. Her parents had no problem lying to her if they felt it was important. 'A parents' duty', Relm had once called it.

The terror of what it could be kept Emma from sleeping much that night.

The sixth day Emma woke late. She groggily sat up and cleared away the tears from her eyes with trembling fingers until she could see the grandfather clock clearly. It was nearly afternoon. Alarmed, she scooted her blankets down her feet and got out of bed. Her mother never would have let her sleep this late. She made her way to her door and tried to open it but found that it was locked from the outside. Startled, shook the handle harder, but it would not budge. Her fear started to climb. Perhaps a soldier was out there and could hear her.

"Mother! Mother please!" the silence pressed on, and she knew. The strange behavior from her mother. It had led to this. The something that drove her mother's behavior was something unspeakable if it drove her to this. "Anyone! Please!"

There were noises at the door and when it opened, Emma felt the hot tears rushing down her cheeks. Her mother and uncle entered the room, looking overworked and distraught. In her mother's hand was a crumpled note. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. Emma thought of so many horrible things she could have cried over, but yet she did not speak to confirm any of them. It was her uncle who spoke first.

"Emma, I'm sorry we locked your door, it was...for precautions. Your brother will be told after you, but in case it got to him somehow first, we didn't want a fight to begin between you two, especially if we were not there to stop it immediately."

She could not stop her tears. "Why...why would he want to f-fight with me?"

Terra crumpled the letter further in her hands with another sob, and her uncle laid a hand on her shoulder, encouraging her to continue. "Your father and brother landed without incident at the north western beaches of Roskovo three days ago..." she took another breath. "...but this morning they..."

Sabin stopped her. "We do not have the full specifics, but...it is about Cambyses and your father."

"What...what do you mean? What happened?"

"A letter arrived stating that your brother got separated from the main forces, but we don't want you to—"

"He is missing?" she asked, horrified.

"Your father said that the battle was a messy skirmish Emma, he could have just gotten lost or decided to tail the enemy too far, there's nothing to worry about yet so—"

"I told them not to go, I told them," she cried. "Why didn't they l-listen to me? W-why?" Terra reached out to take her into a hug, letting her tears fall as well, but said nothing as she held her daughter.

••••••••••••

When her mother finally left her to see how Sabin was doing with telling Benjamin the news that his brother was missing, Emma prepared for the worst. She knew how he would react and where he would direct his anger and blame. She did not blame him, nor did she think he was wrong. It was her fault, and she could have done more to convince them to stay with them, but she had failed in that too.

At first everything was quiet, and Emma thought perhaps her uncle and mother decided against telling her brother, at least for now, but then as evening came and the chapel bells tolled dully in the distance, she heard someone come by to lock her doors and knew that her brother had been told. He would try to come by.

She curled up in her bed and pressed her face against her pillow. What have I done...

Enough of that, her voice hissed. You have nothing to blame yourself for. Pull yourself together.

Ben is right, even if he might not even mean it...if I had just listened...if I just knew better...none of this would have happened. None of it.

This pity party is ill fitting of us, the voice said. There is much in us, between us, and ahead of us, and this stumble won't keep us down. Listen to me, if just this once. You needn't trust any others but you. At the urging of her voice, she felt a gentle warmth of something invigorating radiate through her being, something that sweetly distracted her from the pain of her past if only for a moment. Trust me. The voice coaxed, and Emma reached for the warmth further, wishing for the safety from the pain for just a moment. Trust me.

When she touched the feeling, the rest of the world melted away around her and her voice's words, fading away, said; Let it all go.

••••••••••••

The news of the crowned prince's disappearance was kept to the royal family, close friends and of course the top military heads and council, but when word reached Alexander four days later from Cadence that the young prince had vanished, he knew how it might be hurting all those connected to him. He felt so terrible even as he soothed Cadence to think moreso of Emma, but yet he had. What kind of friend was he to feel that way even as he held Cadence in his arms?

"He will be okay Cadence, you don't have to worry," he mumbled, letting her cry. He had rarely seen her cry before, it was a little unsettling. The last time had been when Emma was assaulted. "You know he is a talented soldier, and stubborn too, he'll be okay."

"I couldn't handle it if something were to happen to him, Alex," she said, stepping away as she wiped tears away from her eyes, as if they disgraced her being there. "I couldn't..."

"If something were to happen...if, and that's unlikely to be so, I know you could handle it Cadence. You are strong."

She gave a small laugh at that, and shook her head. "I'm not as strong as you think I am..." she sighed. "I suppose you want to know about how she's doing too, hm?" he looked at her, a little annoyed, but wondering if it were that obvious.

"I'm sorry Cadence, I don't mean to push aside your feelings or pain, I just..."

She laughed. "Gods Alex...I thought I learned but I guess I haven't yet." she rubbed at her temples, as if considering something risky, and then said, "She is taking it as well as you think she would. Her mother and uncle have her locked in her room though—"

"What, why?"

"It is to keep Benjamin from barging in and starting a fight with her. It isn't to punish her. I went by this morning and she was so...different."

"Different how?"

"I don't know how to explain it, but last night, she was sad and well...very much like Emma, but this morning she was quiet and it was almost like she was..."

"She was what?"

Cadence shifted on her feet, uncomfortable with what she was about to say, and already feeling guilty, but said, "It was like she was laughing at me. Every time I looked at her Alex, I didn't see Emma's eyes looking back at me, they were different. They were...cold."

Alexander knew better than to dismiss Cadence's observations, especially on a person she had been spending so much time with lately. And yet it was easy to see things in moments of pain, especially in another person deep in the depths of it. "You said it yourself Cadence...she is handling it as well as anyone would expect her too. I'm sure you saw something in her that was odd of her, but that?"

Cadence shrugged. "Maybe I...maybe I was just tired."

"I was thinking earlier Cadence..." he knew she was not going to like it, but he had been away long enough, at least for now. "...maybe it is time I see her again, if only for a moment or two. I said I'd avoid her for some time and I have, but I never said I'd abandon her."

For a moment it seemed like she would argue, but then she nodded. "I think that would be for the best. She's not talking to anyone, not even me. Perhaps you could get through to her. You just be careful where you walk with her, okay?"

He smiled. "Of course."

The castle admitted him almost immediately. As he passed one of the guards, he thought he heard one of them say something about the queen needing him, but he couldn't be sure. He pressed on until he reached the princess' room and took a moment to think through his plan of action. It was already late enough in the day, so she might have already retired for the day, but if she hadn't he might be working on a very short time limit before a guard, or worse, a family member roamed about to force him out.

I have to explain to her why I was away for so long...but how? What will be believable? She's already been told I have been at work, busy up to my neck, but doing what? Engines, hulls...well, hopefully she won't press it too much. And then he built up his strength and knocked several times.

At first there wasn't an answer beyond the door, not even a noise, but a few seconds later he heard movement and then a tired voice demanded, "Go away!" he could hear the tone in the words. She had been crying.

"Emma...it is me," he answered as loudly as he dared so late in the day. If Benjamin wasn't already awake in his room just a few doors down, he didn't wish to wake the angry young man. Again no answer. He took a breath and prepared to offer her his apologies there, but the door opened and he looked down upon the face of the princess, all teary eyed and red. "I'm so sorry I didn't see you earlier—" she reached out to hug him.

"I missed you," she mumbled, and he could her crying. "I missed you..."

He hesitantly hugged her back. "I missed you too Emma. I'm sorry I haven't come by to see you in so long, I've just be...busy."

She let him go and rubbed the back of her hand against her nose. He tried to hold back a smile. "I understand. M-mother told me you were w-working."

"I came over as soon as I heard about your brother though," he said, watching as her eyes drew tears again and she looked away. "You can talk to me Emma...you know that you always can."

"It doesn't matter...it won't change what happened."

Alexander took her hand and guided her into the room, closing the door behind him. "Don't give me that," he demanded, feeling her hand stiffen in his. "It isn't about trying to change what happened to your brother and you know it." he sat her on her bed. "It is just about making sure you're okay." she wouldn't look at him, so he lifted her face gently. "And I can't leave this room until I know that you are going to be okay Emma..."

"I'm fine."

When she looked away, he saw something in her eyes he didn't recognize, something that felt strangely cold. Something that wasn't Emma. She thinks she lost her brother, he thought grimy. That is enough to darken anyone...even the sweetest girl I know. "So be it. If you aren't ready to talk about it, then you aren't ready. I can't force you to be." instead he sat beside her and she looked at him, startled. "I'll sit here with you until you are, and if you still aren't...well...I'll be here for whatever you need."

Emma's lips pulled gently at the corners into a small appreciative smile before fading and then he felt her little fingers fold around his and her head lean against his shoulder. He knew then she wasn't going to talk. There weren't any words in her that she felt were appropriate enough, he knew, and he understood. If she needed this comfort more, then he would gladly give it to her, if it would make it easier for her to wake in the morning.

"If this is enough for you, then you will have it." he whispered, and she mumbled something. After several moments of sitting there, he shifted. It was getting late and she needed her rest, he was sure. When he moved to get up, she startled away from him and let go of his hand to rub at her eyes. He realized immediately she had fallen asleep and bit back a chuckle. His assessment was right. She was tired.

"Hmm," she looked at him through light sensitive eyes. "Don't leave, please..."

He laughed as he stood. "Emma, it is late, and what's more you're tired and need your rest."

"I'm not tired," she said as she rubbed at her eyes fiercely. "I'm not," she said again at his widening, disbelieving smile. "Please stay."

Alexander looked at the grandfather clock, nervously. It was nearly eight, and he knew if it hadn't have been for the fact that her family was letting her be for now due to her brother, one of them would have come to her room by now and seen him. If they caught him now he would be in trouble, but if he stayed, it would be even worse. How could he explain that to her?

"I can't do that," he said softly, watching as the disappointment crept into her expression. She oh'd and looked down at her hands, which quickly began twisting together in that nervous twitch of hers. Please Emma, don't misunderstand why I can't stay, it isn't because of you, he thought. "It...it wouldn't be appropriate."

She looked at him, confused. "Appropriate? Why not?"

He knew he was blushing a little. "Because it's not acceptable for two people of...of..." looking into her eyes he couldn't continue. He cleared his throat. "Your mother and uncle would be very upset, not just with you, but moreso with me. They would think I would do...something wrong by being here. Even if I wouldn't, or didn't."

"Oh," she said, but he could tell by the look on her face she didn't quite get his meaning by "something wrong" she understood enough that her mother would not tolerant it. Her eyes lit up though and then she hurried over to the door. "W-what if I l-locked the door? Could you s-stay then?"

"What?" he was sure his face was red hot now. No...gods damn it. This is why I should not be around her. "No, Emma, I can't. I'm sorry but—"

"What if I rest?" she asked quickly, still fidgeting about with her hands. "I'll g-get my rest and you c-could stay until I..." when she stopped talking, it took him a moment to realize why. She wanted him to stay because she couldn't fall asleep. She was afraid. Until she fell asleep...he thought, feeling horrid for waking her when she had fallen asleep moments earlier. She sighed, giving in to his silent no. "Will...will you come by tomorrow?"

Alexander tried to give her a lie, to tell her that he had somewhere to be in the morning—a place that would keep him most likely all day—but the words escaped him. Instead he shut his mouth and looked at the chair pushed off against the wall. "I'll stay. For a while." that made her breath catch, happily. "But you must promise me you will try to get some sleep."

"I will, I will," she said, smiling. "I promise." she ran up to him to give him another hug before she ran into the basin room, seemingly to ready for the night. Alone, Alexander took a spare pillow out of the closet and pinned it against the chair and wall for a little comfort. A few minutes later the basin room door opened and Emma came out dressed for the night. The blouse she wore hung loose, and at least several inches passed her hands. The collar had been neatly buttoned up to the button third from the top, just below her collarbone. She wore large, comfy trousers for the night's cold—she wasn't permitted, he learned some time ago to light a fire in her room for safety reasons—and yet still no socks.

He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her and hold her, but chased the thoughts away. She's not for you, you dog...she deserves a sweet little lord that will chase her around all day and give her all the good things she deserves. He smirked. "Ready then, princess?"

A gentle shade crossed her cheeks. "I am." she looked at his chair with a frown before taking one of the folded blankets off her bed. She walked it over to him and held it out to him. "It...it gets cold." she mumbled, looking down as he accepted it.

"Then I would feel better if you would keep it, princess."

"I have more than e-enough," she said, stepping away quickly so he could not hand it back, and then she went for her bed. As he sat the blanket down on his lap, she crawled into her blankets and looked at him with a soft smile. "Good night Alexander."

That smile. Gods... "Goodnight, Emma." she reached over to blow out the candle and then laid down. He watched her until she fell asleep and then he bundled up the blanket and tucked it in around her. Good night princess. And then he left.

---

As of 2016, August 1st the chapter has undergone a secondary massive remake (first was minor, mostly grammar changes etc), to fit it in with the reworked story line and events! That said, if you enjoyed the previous version, I very much hope you enjoy this version.

I tried to put more details in Emma's days after her assault, to how she was feeling and what she was thinking, but most important I believed I needed to add how Terra, Edgar, Cambyses and Benjamin were feeling. Their lack of detail before made the whole chapter, the assault even, weak. It is the reactions and feelings of everyone around Emma, as well, that will help build a believable story...or so I believe, anyway!

Lastly, thank you to my beta readers/writers! They do so much for me-they hop in to scour over the documents for me for errors I might have missed, such as grammar mistakes, or fix editing so it looks nicer, they look after reviews (and respond to some if I can't due to busy nature of life ya know) and so much more, like moral support to keep going! Thank you beta readers/writers and thank you too readers! You ALL are VERY important to me! :)

Well, that's it! haha