Her phone vibrated for the fifth time that hour. She rolled her eyes when she saw the name Elena pop up again. What trouble could she be getting into on a school night?
"Not my problem," she sighed.
She glanced out the window. The ebony sky was lit by twinkling stars and a fluorescent full moon. It was a shame she was only studying tonight. Her magic hummed beneath her flushed skin.
She turned back to the grimoire on her bed and scanned the contents. Grams didn't talk much about dark magic but seemed to know a little bit about it. Of course, Grams was a scholar and professor of the occult. Even if she personally disagreed with its use, it didn't mean she was restricted from learning about it. While there had been a few family grimoires Grams had passed onto her, she was the only one that had written anything about dark magic.
"Know thy enemy huh?"
If Grams was watching her now, would she be disappointed in her? Her choice to transform into this. She had been the epitome of a Bennett witch, but now she was the antithesis of it. Would every Bennett witch weep for her downfall?
Or celebrate her transformation?
Bonnie clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. No use getting philosophical. She had to grow stronger or else she would be another sacrificial witch. To get rid of the Spirits was way above her current pay grade but Bennett witches were powerful. She'd find a way and then she would be free. Their power over her magic had vanished since that night but that didn't mean they weren't finding a way to chain her again.
She jotted notes into her own grimoire as she scanned her Grams'.
Dark magic is often used as an umbrella term but there is a difference between dark, black, and Expression. Dark and black magic often does not require sacrifices while it is assumed that Expression does. I have met one witch that practiced Expression in the past and said that Expression does not require sacrifice contrary to popular belief within the witchcraft community. While sacrifices can get a witch to absorb power more immediately, it is not a lasting effect. She proposed a hypothesis that witches have a threshold of Expression they can wield, with or without sacrifice. The threshold seems similar to their magical threshold despite another popular belief that Expression makes one stronger. Her belief was that confidence, determination, bloodline, and training were the factors that determined this threshold (similar to neutral or light magic). Another reason why these types of magic may make a witch seem stronger is that they are unfiltered by Ancestral Spirits or Nature. The witch said she had not sacrificed anyone to perform Expression but had done so through regular magical means. The lasting effects of dark magic are believed to lead to destructive behaviors or even insanity. The witch I spoke to said it may not be the magic itself but the ego and motivations of the witch as she had mentioned a few witches that wielded dark or black magic without falling into the typical stereotype.
Note: The witch refused to give me her name and I respected her anonymity. She was forthcoming with information about her experiences and the differences in magical definitions. Light witches often lump all three together but as I continue to research and talk to past practitioners, it seems to have significant differences. However, most refer to it simply as "magic" or "Dark Arts." Dark magic is still an acceptable catch-all term, but some get technical about it. The consequences of using dark magic seem unclear or dependent on the individual and asking this question is often seen as too personal to answer.
All great information but not a single witch had gone through what she had experienced. She had skimmed multiple pages relating to it but nothing. No witch violently passed out and was able to use dark, black, or Expression magic when they woke up. When Grams had warned her against using it, using it seemed like an intentional act, not something she could wake up to. Did her mindset or emotions change something? Even if the witches were forthcoming to her Grams, they didn't say a lot.
The tell-tale sign of magic on the dark side was black eyes. When she had awoken from whatever she had experienced that night, her eyes were black instead of the usual green they morphed into after dealing with magic. She had felt... lost when she had woken up that day. She hadn't been practicing so it didn't make sense why. Yet, she had taken the chance to get out of the grips of the Spirits and had started practicing. It had been her turning point.
A knock from her front door broke her concentration. She closed the grimoire and hopped off the bed. She scrunched her nose when she landed feet first into an open pizza box that she had discarded a few days ago. Gross. She passed a few mountains of notes, books, and clothes scattered on her bedroom floor as she hurried to the bath to wash her feet.
Once her feet were grease-free, she headed down the stairs and into the living room. The soft knocks had become pounds and she had a few good guesses of who would be this annoyingly insistent. Once she was at the door, she took a breath and mustered a glare. She clutched the doorknob and swung it open.
"Damon," she muttered.
He leaned against the doorframe. His blue eyes seemed wary despite his usual smirk being plastered on his face. Bonnie took note of his somewhat disheveled attire and messy hair before pressing her lips together when she saw a smudge of lipstick on his neck.
"Happy to see me?"
"Can't say I ever am. What do you want?"
He placed a hand over his non-beating heart. "That wounds me, you know?"
"Tell me or I will be closing this door."
"Stefan has been getting antsy with the Originals being all unleashed and roaming around."
"So what?"
"I know him being the Ripper and all must offend your witchy sensibilities, but he is going to be in trouble because he is planning on doing something to Klaus tonight. I need your help stopping him."
"And what does this have to do with me?"
"Don't put on a brave face for me. You care what happens to Stefan."
Stefan was a terrible friend, but he tried. Damn, she thought, is the bar really that low for what I deem a friend? She had pushed thoughts about her friends to the side since that night. Maybe she didn't want to deal with the pain of filtering through the memories or face the reality of her situation.
They hadn't given a damn. She needed the love and support of her friends but they let her down. Her problems were silenced and ignored. Her morality never mattered nor did her breaking points. She had let them determine who she was and packed herself into a neat corner to be accepted. When she did challenge what she wouldn't or couldn't do, she was met with guilt trips and the occasional violence whether by physical means or verbal.
She looked past Damon's shoulder to see Elena walking over to them from his car. Her doe eyes had once seemed innocent and friendly, but now Bonnie could only see manipulation and betrayal. The similarities between Elena and Katherine were running blood deep these days.
Even if she was furious at Stefan... She covered her cackle. Seriously? They had a fuck session and then want to go rescue Stefan? She betted they got worried about him, screwed, then went over to her house. She sneered when Elena got up to her doorway.
"Please, we need your help and I know you're upset with me."
"Why am I upset with you, Elena?"
"Huh?"
"You always say these kinds of phrases, but I don't think I've ever asked what you mean. What did you do to upset me? How are you going to remedy it?"
"Look we don't have time for this, witchy. You two can talk after this."
If it had been Damon needing rescuing, she would have slammed the door in Elena's face. Since it was Stefan, she felt stuck. Stefan and her were complicated. It didn't help to see all the glowing remarks her Grams had written about Stefan in her grimoire notes. He had been kind, diligent, and loyal to Grams. Hell, their initial relationship had those qualities.
Maybe she saw her in himself. He was expected to be a kind martyr. The reason he was even the Ripper was because of Elena. He has suffered a lot under her thumb, and the sight of Damon and Elena's current appearance disgusted her. Stefan wouldn't have waited for a second to save Damon. He tried so hard to make Damon a good person and try to be the diplomat between him and Bonnie, but when has Damon paid him back for it? He's trying to get her help now, but it could be just for Elena. It wasn't like Damon was putting his life on the line either.
"I'm done playing this savior witch role but—" She smiled. "I am willing to help Stefan if you make a magical vow to me."
"What kind of vow?"
"This is your last request from me ever. You can never ask me to do anything again."
While the others could request for Elena, the seriousness of a magical vow would state Bonnie's intentions clearly, especially if Elena was forced to do it. Elena's pupils widened. Her pleading gaze went to Damon.
"You can't be serious?" Damon snapped.
"Well, fuck off I guess."
"She was about to slam the door when Elena yelped. She halted and glanced at her.
"I'll... do it."
"Good. Now give me your arm."
She gripped Elena's hand and forearm. Bonnie rolled her eyes when she felt Elena's arm shaking. Was she fearful of her or of the consequences she now had to face? Damon tried to "reason" with Bonnie but she dismissed his aggravating remarks. She cited the spell from memory and glanced at Elena.
"Do you agree?"
"I agree."
A sliver of purple circled around both their arms before dissipating. Elena snatched her arm away and shuffled closer to Damon.
"Where is he?"
Elena stuttered, "—Mystic Grill. Caroline—she texted me earlier he was there. He should still be there..."
"I'll meet you there."
"Bonnie..." Elena's whine made her see red. "It'll be easier if you just ride with us."
So I will be forced to converse with you two? So both of you can try to guilt-trip me or trap me in some way? No thanks.
"I don't want to be in the car you screwed Stefan's brother in," she said with a smile before slamming the door.