A/N: Hello all and welcome to chapter 25! A nice milestone to hit for what was intended to be a joke story. Now? Now it's turned into one of my favorite things to actually write for. Funny how that happens, huh?

Paradox Effect

Summary: Dying sucked. Dying and being killed by the same teammate again? That sucked even more. Dying and being thrown back into Blood Gulch as a girl? That REALLY sucked. Now, Leona Church will have to put up with Tucker's perverted looks, Caboose's stupidity, and worst of all, Tex's laughter…

*Chapter 25*

The flight back to Blood Gulch was a nice and rather short one, much to Leona's relief. Considering most of the other occupants were trying to kill her just for wearing a different color on a daily basis, she was very glad when the ship landed in the middle of the canyon and the Reds immediately went to their side of the canyon.

She was just sad she missed a chance to rid herself of Tucker in the process. "Dammit York! Why didn't you just land on him? It would have been easy." It also would've saved her and Tex a hell of a headache but she didn't add that to her list of complaints. They didn't have all day.

Well technically they did because they kind of did fuck all in Blood Gulch, but still. Point stands.

York let out an exasperated sigh and looked at her sternly. Or attempted to, because she could see a flash of sympathy in his remaining eye. "Leona, I know that Tucker annoys the fuck out of you—"

"Understatement of the fucking year," Leona grumbled bitterly.

"But killing him does not benefit the team as a whole," the tan colored Freelancer finished dryly. "As tempting as it is to squash him permanently, that would leave you with less…target practice."

"Hmm. You know, I think that sounds more fun. I like the way you think, York." She smirked and reached for her rifle. "Bet I can hit him from here."

"I'll take those odds, seeing as he's already almost back to base." York smirked. "Six pack of beer as the wager?"

"Did you honestly expect it to be anything else?" Leona pointed out dryly. "We don't have any money lying around." She checked her weapon's magazine to make sure she had a full magazine in and it flashed on her heads up display. Yep, all four bullets in the mag. Four opportunities for her to hit Tucker. Worked enough for her.

CRACK!

"OW! THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?"

"…did you just shoot him in the ass?" York asked in disbelief.

"Yep." Leona laughed and flipped her teammate off as he fell facefirst into the base. "Don't worry Tucker! You'll be fine!"

"Will he?"

"Probably. Personally I don't care. He's kind of an asshole."

"I worked that out on my own, funnily enough," York said dryly.

"Oh really? What was your first fucking clue?" Leona put her rifle across her back and folded her arms.

"When I first came to this shitty dustbowl and he was trying to spy on you and Tex having sex," the Freelancer deadpanned. Oh right. How could she forget that? York punched him through the freaking window. It was pretty funny.

Not as funny as convincing Caboose that Church turned into a pickle and fucked off somewhere to be alone for the rest of his life, but still. Provided some good laughs. She never thought she'd get their resident idiot to believe that but here they were.

"Hey, York. Is it possible for you to keep Caboose out of trouble for say…thirty minutes?" she asked.

"I swear to God, if it's so you and Tex can—"

"I need to talk to Tex about something."

"Goddammit." York sighed. "Alright, what is it?"

"Well…have you noticed anything…wrong with her?" Leona tried. "Like she seems off somehow. It could just be me thinking too much about it but you never know." Of course she'd be the first one to notice if anything was wrong with her girlfriend and probably the first to assume so.

"A bit more cheerful, but nothing really." York shrugged. "Still, I'll keep an eye out."

"Literally in your case." Leona couldn't resist the little jab and didn't regret it even when York cuffed her over the head in response. "Worth it."

"I'm tempted to let Caboose barge in on you now for that one."

"Don't you fucking dare, asshole."

York merely laughed and dodged away from her attempted punch. Goddammit. Sometimes, she really wondered why the hell she and Tex put up with him.

Then she remembered he was actually good and useful company unlike the rest of the hopeless idiots on her team. Oh, and he could fight too. That also helped. 'Hey, uh, Church?'

"What?" Church asked with an angry growl. Okay, clearly he was not in the mood for talking in the slightest. Good start.

'You mind making yourself scarce for about twenty minutes or so?' Leona asked internally. 'No I'm not planning on fucking Tex. This is actually serious.'

"Then why don't you want me around? I'm a fucking AI that can see into your head. And can I just say, it's fucking depressing in here."

'The hell is that supposed to mean!?'

"Lady, you've got more drama than a fucking high school girl. Jesus Christ. I thought my life was depressing, but you got me beat by a long mile. Worrying about your girlfriend's mental state that much?" Church asked dryly. "And before you wonder how the fuck I know all of that, do remember I'm in your goddamn head. Even if I don't say anything, I can see your thoughts.

Fuck. She sort of forgot about that. Memory lapses? What the hell? Was that a side effect of the implantation or something?

"Yeah it is. York said he had the same thing for a few days when he got Delta. You'll be fine; quit bitching about it." Church let out an unimpressed scoff. "So, what are you gonna do?"

'The hell do you mean? I'm going to ask her what's going on. I'm not stupid, Church. I can see that something's wrong with her even if she's too proud to admit it,' she shot back.

"Do you seriously think Tex of all people is going to fall for that mushy shit? It's fucking Tex. You remember what her idea of romantic was?" Church reminded.

'Oh yeah. I definitely remember that. She literally ripped that dude's skull out and beat him to death with it. Not gonna lie, that's pretty hot.'

"Jesus Christ. You have a bigger boner for murder than Sarge does."

'Except I don't have a fucking dick.' The blue haired woman rolled her eyes and stepped inside the nice air conditioning of Blue Base. It was so nice and relaxing compared to the blazing heat and the dreary ass sand.

"Hey, Tex! You around?" she called out.

No answer.

"Chirp, chirp, chirp—"

"Church I swear to God, stop making cricket noises." Leona hissed. "Or I will stuff you inside of a robot and have Caboose teamkill you again." Oh and she'd do it too. She was an asshole like that. Then again, she was pretty sure that being an asshole was just genetics.

Case and point.

Church's response was merely him flipping her off. Not at all surprising. The day Church acted all mushy was the day the universe ended.

Leona stopped talking to listen better and she frowned. She couldn't hear anything except Caboose munching on cookies and that was a worry. "Tex?"

She poked her head around and sighed. No wonder Tex wasn't answering her. "I…really should've expected that."

The blonde Freelancer was passed out on her stomach, happily snoring away while covered in bandages. Leona let out a relieved sigh and placed her rifle down, shutting the door quietly behind her.

Yeah fuck it. After all the shit they had been through today, a little nap with her sounded a lot better than some long ass talk that would inevitably be ruined by either Caboose or Tucker.

"Dammit Tex, move over!"

A/N: *yawns and rubs eyes* Is it bad that I'm getting so exhausted that I can't even remember what day it is? Or is this shit normal for everyone else too? Fucking hate working sometimes.

A Lovestruck A2#5371