A/N: Hello all and welcome to chapter 27. Good god, has it been that long already? It feels like just two weeks ago I started this. How the time flies by. Thank fuck that I am starting to feel more motivated to actually work on my fics.

Paradox Effect

Summary: Dying sucked. Dying and being killed by the same teammate again? That sucked even more. Dying and being thrown back into Blood Gulch as a girl? That REALLY sucked. Now, Leona Church will have to deal with Tucker's perverted looks, Caboose's stupidity, and worst of all, Tex's laughter…

*Chapter 27*

Texas hated Blood Gulch a lot. Between the Reds and Blues giving her a headache and the unbearable heat, she honestly couldn't think of a single positive thing about this miserable dustbowl. Besides getting back together with her girlfriend and York. Poor bastard. He still didn't know what to think of the mess he was dragged into. She couldn't blame him; she definitely wasn't helping with the flirty winks. Nor was Leona for that matter. They both enjoyed messing with him.

She heard the unmistakable sound of a rocket launcher going off and she rolled her eyes. "Oh for…what is it now!?" 'I swear to God, if it's the fucking Reds, I'm going to murder every single one of them and strangle them with their own intestines.'

Grabbing a BR55 battle rifle and a magnum she stalked upstairs to see what all of the commotion was about. When she reached the top of Blue Base, she was met with the sight of Leona driving off the Reds with one of the explosive weapons in hand. "And fuck off! I've had enough of your bullshit!"

Leona turned around and let her rocket launcher rest on her back. "Oh, hey Tex. What's up?"

"Just seeing what the hell that goddamn noise was," Tex replied, looking at the giant smoking crater in the ground that was left from the explosion. "You make a hell of a racket, you know that?"

"I never took you to think that was a bad thing," Leona shot back with a smirk. "Don't worry; the idiots won't come back for at least another day. I thought destroying their jeep would keep them occupied, but I guess not."

"You mean Warthog?" Tex reminded.

"Sure, I guess. Why the hell do they call it that, anyway?" Leona asked.

"Because M12-LRV is too much of a mouthful to say," Tex said dryly.

"Bow chicka bow wow!" yelled Tucker from his stupid masturbation rock.

"Shut the fuck up, Tucker." Leona pointed her weapon at the rock. "I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig. It kind of looks like a big cat of some kind, if you think about it."

"…what, like a puma?"

"Yeah, there you go."

"Huh…now that I think about it, you're right," Tex conceded. "What's York doing?"

"Out on patrol. He doesn't want Wyoming to catch us sleeping," Leona answered. "I don't see what the problem is; I knocked him out with one punch the last time."

"Don't sleep on Wyoming," Tex warned. "Remember he was a Freelancer too. He might suck in close range, but he's a sniper specialist."

"So your advice is to just do what I did last time and punch him so hard I think I sprained my wrist?"

"Pretty much."

"Great. I fucking look forward to it." The blue haired woman rolled her eyes. "Hey, Tucker! Stop jerking off to porn for five minutes and get up here! I need you for something!"

"What!? I'm busy!" Tucker protested.

"It's Christmas in like three days, dumbass," Leona reminded dryly. "We need to make some preparations for the holiday break. Yes, we're getting a vacation, Tex; don't give me that look like you're unfamiliar with the concept."

"It's not that, genius." The blonde sighed. "It's…where the fuck are you going to find a tree for this? We're in a desert!" A really hot and dreary one at that.

"You're forgetting that York is unusually gifted at acquiring items of high demand." Leona smirked. "We'll get him to find one for us. Oh, and gifts too."

"…we're seriously doing this." Tex shook her head, not sure whether to be amused or exasperated. "Fine, fine! But for the love of God, you better not make me wear something stupid."

"Oh no, don't worry." Leona's grin was a little too mischievous for her liking. "I have something special in mind for us."

Tex wasn't sure whether to be aroused or afraid. She settled for both.

Wyoming groaned and rubbed his head when he came to, sitting up and shaking the snow off of his armor. He had a hell of a headache but wasn't any worse for wear. Bloody hell, that woman Leona packed one mean punch. If he didn't know better, he'd have said it was Tex with blue hair. He was pretty sure he lost a few years off his lifespan.

Damn, so close to killing York and perhaps getting out of this miserable existence. After Project Freelancer went to hell with the break in and Tex's desertion, all Wyoming really wanted to do was find a nice quiet spot to relax trimming his glorious moustache and sip tea while watching his favorite shows. He was a man of culture. Or at least he thought he was.

But then York had to go run off after Tex. Bloody hell, wasn't it enough that he slept with Carolina? He had to go for the other Freelancer above him?

Still. Could be worse.

He could be like Washington. Poor bastard was probably busy hunting down all the missing equipment from Freelancer with Massachusetts. When Wyoming heard the news of Wash's partner, he wasn't sure whether to be envious or not care. Everyone onboard the MOI heard the rumors between them.

Groaning and flexing his shoulder Wyoming picked up his sniper rifle and pistol, frowning under his helmet when he saw the condition his favored sidearm was in. The barrel was bent and twisted, rendering it mostly useless. "Damn."

Thankfully there were plenty of corpses to loot weapons and ammunition from. His moustache swirled and he trotted over to one of the bodies, relieving the dead man of his sidearm. "You won't be needing this, old chap."

With a secondary weapon procured, Wyoming turned his focus to his current objective. Find York and eliminate him whatever the cost. If only he knew where the devil he ran off to. The Director didn't exactly give him a lot of details. Slimy bastard.

'Hmm. It looks like I'll have to call in that favor. Bugger. Wish I didn't have to do this.' The British Freelancer hated having to do it, but it was an ugly necessity in his line of work. The sooner he found York, the sooner he could retire and go the hell home.

"Come in, South Dakota. This is Wyoming. I'm here to call in a favor you owe me."

A/N: So…why am I doing a holiday special in the middle of summer? Because I thought it would be fun to do. Plus it gives me an excuse to write smut. Don't give me that look; some of you have been asking about it and I haven't had a time to do it until now.

A Lovestruck A2#5371