Total Drama Mushroom Kingdom Episode 13 "Despondent Drink"
REMAINING CONTESTANTS
Mario
Yoshi
Bowser
Professor E. Gadd
Donkey Kong
*In the Cabin*
Professor E. Gadd: Hello Mario.
Mario: Shut up dude.
Professor E. Gadd: Ok, you know what? I'm tired of this!
Mario: Tired of what?
Professor E. Gadd: Of you, and everyone else, treating me like trash! It's just a game! We all want to win, right?
Mario: Right.
Professor E. Gadd: Well, I'm just trying my best to win, since I've made it so far and I actually have a chance at the million.
Mario: Look, I don't want to have any type of conversation with you, so just two things. One, you had a bigger chance of winning before you betrayed everyone, and two, we don't care about who you vote. Your cruel words just broke all of us. And we found out what type person you are.
Professor E. Gadd: But, everyone deserves a second chance!
Mario: So you can betray us again. Yup, everyone! Nope.
*Mario leaves the room*
*Confessional*
Professor E. Gadd: You'll pay for what you've done Mario. You'll pay. I'm finding out what type of person YOU are, and I'll make sure I'll avenge everyone that you've hurt.
*End of Confessional*
Yoshi: Oh my god, when is the next challenge starting?
Bowser: I don't know, but I just hope that the challenge isn't as stupid as the last one.
Yoshi: Oh, please Bowser, at least I made it to five periods!
Bowser: I'd rather EAT A CACTUS than take even ONE CLASS with this embarrassing person that Lakitu calls a teacher!
Yoshi: What's wrong with eating cactuses!
Donkey Kong: YEAH? WHAT'S THE DEAL DUDE?
Bowser: When did you come?
Donkey Kong: DONKEY KONG WAS ALWAYS SITTING BY! YOU JUST DIDN'T NOTICE HIM!
Bowser: Why are you always speaking in third person?
Donkey Kong: I AM NOT SPEAKING IN THIRD PERSON! I AM SPEAKING ABOUT DONKEY KONG!
*Confessional*
Bowser: I can't wait to vote this (cuss) out along with that other old freak, so my alliance can have a break.
*End of Confessional*
Lakitu: CHALLENGE TIME!
Bowser: Watch this challenge being another hellhole.
Yoshi: Oh, come on Bowser, look on the bright side!
Lakitu: I SAID IT'S CHALLENGE TIME!
Mario: So, what's the challenge?
Lakitu: Your challenge today requires wonderful swimming skills, and enough stamina to keep you going like a dolphin.
Donkey Kong: DONKEY KONG IS VERY FRIENDLY WITH DOLPHINS! THIS CHALLENGE IS GOING TO BE EASY FOR DONKEY KONG!
Yoshi: SWIMMING?
Lakitu: Yup, swimming.
Yoshi: OH WELL THIS SUCKS! THIS IS TERRIBLE! Maybe getting 6th place wasn't so bad...
Lakitu: What about the 1 million coins you would miss out on if you got 6th?
Yoshi: Oh...this sucks! 6th place is terrible!
Mario: Not as bad as 16th place.
Lakitu: Well, can everyone shut up? I want to just start off with the challenge I have made up for you guys! So...it's a swimming triathlon. First, you have to swim from the shore to that little island over there. Then, on that island, you have to find some dolphin food. These include fish, squid, shrimps, jellyfish and octopuses.
Mario: You DEFINITELY didn't search this one up.
Lakitu: I know Mario, no need to remind me.
Mario: I was being sarca-
Lakitu: Feed the dolphins! And then, swim with them back to the island. Just...don't fall in the water, otherwise you have to repeat the whole process again.
Yoshi: Can I have a floatie?
Lakitu: We don't have enough money for floaties!
Yoshi: *gulp*
Lakitu: So, whoever completes all three steps first, wins immunity and gets themselves into the miraculous Final 4!
Mario: Alright, bring it on! LET'S A GO!
*Confessional*
Mario: E. Gadd can't swim, because he's like 70 years old, so the win is pretty much secured for me or Bowser. Donkey Kong winning wouldn't be my choice, but eh. Who cares? As long as E. Gadd doesn't win again, we're fine.
*End of Confessional*
Lakitu: The challenge starts now!
Bowser: HAHA!
Mario: LET'S A GO!
Yoshi: NO WAIT! MARIO! COME BACK! I NEED YOUR HELP!
Mario: Why do you need my help Yoshi? You've gone through water countless of times!
Yoshi: Yeah, while screaming in fear!
Mario: I don't remember a single word coming out of you when we were travelling in that water world.
Yoshi: I WAS FAINTING!
Mario: You were just fine. Come on, let's go.
Yoshi: ΟΗ COME ON!
*Confessional*
Yoshi: The process of having the water up my noseholes almost killed me! Both mentally and physically! Geez, I don't wanna go through this ever again...
*End of Confessional*
Mario: So, we made it to the island! Bowser, have you found any fish?
Bowser: No.
Mario: What about you DK?
Donkey Kong: DONKEY KONG LIKES TO EAT THE FISH INSTEAD OF GIVING IT TO DOLPHINS!
Mario: Ugh...Well, I guess it's up to us two.
Yoshi: More like up to you! I'm TERRIFIED!
Mario: OH SON OF A-
*Confessional*
Yoshi: I want to tell you guys about all the parts of my body that are literally BURNING IN PAIN! My nose, my legs, my fingers, my armpits, my left eye, my right cheek, my left arm, my tail, my d-
*End of Confessional*
Yoshi: My right arm, my right eyelash...
Mario: YOU DON'T HAVE EYELASHES!
Yoshi: OVERRULED!
Bowser: Are you guys done?
Mario: Nope.
Yoshi: Negative.
Bowser: Well then let's get to finding some dolphin food, cause I can see E. Gadd over there on the shore building some type of machine, and if we don't act quick, he'll win immunity AGAIN.
Mario: I'm not worried about him.
Yoshi: Impossible to even think about such an impolite to us occurrence!
*Confessional*
Bowser: Well, we're screwed.
*End of Confessional*
Mario: OH MY GOD! I FOUND A SHRIMP!
Yoshi: YAY! FREEDOM!
Bowser: Give it to me!
Mario: Oh hell no, you'll kill the dolphin!
Bowser: I WON'T!
Mario: You'll weigh it down to the point it drowns Bowser!
Yoshi: Just give it to me! I want to finally overcome my fear of water!
Mario: Are you sure? That's the only type of dolphin food we've found in ages!
Yoshi: I am sure...I promise I won't let you guys down.
*Confessional*
Yoshi: I probably, will indeed, let them down.
*End of Confessional*
Donkey Kong: OH MY GOD A BANANA!
*Donkey Kong swims away from the island, trying to catch up to a yellow bird that is just minding its own business*
Mario: Sure...So, Yoshi! Good luck!
Bowser: I'M STILL HURT!
Mario: Look, man, I'm sorry! I just had to speak my mind! I'm sorry!
Bowser: It's ok dude, we good.
Yoshi: Guys, tell my family I love 'em.
*Confessional*
Professor E. Gadd: The Dolphin Dasher 2.0 and the Shrimp Generator 5000 are on their way to be finished...and then, victory will be mine!
*End of Confessional*
Yoshi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
Mario: THE DOLPHIN'S (cuss) DRIVING HIM AWAY FROM THE (cuss) SHORE!
Bowser: LAKITU!
Lakitu: I'm all ears!
Mario: YOSHI'S DOLPHIN IS DRUNK!
Lakitu: Oh, hmm. I forgot to mention, that only one of the dolphins is tame. The rest are all sick on their brains.
Professor E. Gadd: IT'S TIME FOR THE SHRIMP GENERATOR 5000 TO GIVE ME, PROFESSOR ELVIN GADD, A TICKET TO THE FINAL 4!
*foooooooof*
*bing*
Professor E. Gadd: HAHA! SHRIMPS! TIME TO FEED THE DOLPHIN!
Mario: WHA- THAT'S CHEATING!
Lakitu: I didn't say machines weren't allowed.
Professor E. Gadd: And now...time for the Dolphin Dasher 2.0 to drive me to victory!
Bowser: NOOOO!
*Bowser steps on the Dolphin Dasher 2.0 and breaks it*
Mario: HIGH FIVE!
Bowser: OH YEAH!
Professor E. Gadd: WHY...DID YOU RUIN...MY PLANS...MY VICTORY...WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME GUYS?
Mario: As you said, it's just a game, and we all need to find a way to win somehow.
Professor E. Gadd: You'll pay Mario...You'll pay, the biggest price you've ever paid. Tonight, all will go wrong for you.
Mario: Find some friends first, and then talk about prices.
Michael Saylor: Did someone say prices?
Everyone: SHUT UP!
*Yoshi can be heard from the distance*
Yoshi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
Mario: IT'S YOSHI!
Yoshi: OW! OH MY GOD! THIS WAS TERRIBLE! I'M NEVER INTERACTING WITH DOLPHINS EVER AGAIN! Wait, did I make it to the shore? OH YAY, I WIN!
Lakitu: And game! Yoshi wins the challenge!
Mario: YES!
Bowser: AWESOME!
Professor E. Gadd: Don't celebrate...
Mario: You won't tell us what to do, you're already eliminated!
Professor E. Gadd: Never celebrate too early...NEVER...
Bowser: TIME TO DIE, ELVIN! THE WORLD REJOICES TODAY!
*Confessional*
Professor E. Gadd: They celebrated too early...And they'll be crying tonight, after I survive...You just see.
*End of Confessional*
Lakitu: On this plate there are four mushrooms. Yoshi, here you go.
Yoshi: YAY!
Lakitu: Now...Mushrooms go to...Bowser...and Donkey Kong.
Bowser: Sweet.
Donkey Kong: OOKAY!
Lakitu: Mario and Professor E. Gadd are in the Bottom 2.
Mario: Why am I not surprised?
Professor E. Gadd: You'll be surprised after you hear the result...
Lakitu: The final mushroom goes to...
*Suspenseful Music*
Lakitu: Mario.
Mario: YES!
Professor E. Gadd: Welp. Congratulations, Mario.
Mario: Hm?
Professor E. Gadd: You managed to make it to the Final 4 of a pointless reality show, while losing Rosalina's trust...
Mario: She caused it!
Professor E. Gadd: Making my life a living hell...
Mario: That's what you get after calling Luigi all those names!
Professor E. Gadd: And breaking your girlfriend's hearts.
Mario: SHE'S HAD ME IN THE FRIEND ZONE FOR 35 YEARS!
Professor E. Gadd: Good games, I suppose. Either way, it's just a game. It's my time to go, finally. And I will only keep the good memories from this game. Which, they are, pretty much all of them. You see this as a victory of yours Mario. And so do I. For myself. I tested myself in these difficult situations that Total Drama Mushroom Kingdom had to offer, as a 40 year old man, and-
Mario: You're 70 though-
Professor E. Gadd: Don't interrupt me! And only the fact that I made it this far, is astonishing to me. I forgive you for everything you've said to me, and I apologize if I made any of you guys feel betrayed. I'm going to relax now, because MAN I'm tired. Goodbye!
Mario: Geez...goodbye...I guess...
Lakitu: I'm glad you're all friends!
Professor E. Gadd: What can I say, Lakitu? I hope I'm already forgiven by Mario and his friends, because I have my hopes high for a Season 2, in case something like that happens. But now, I must go. ADIOS!
Lakitu: So, this episode was AWESOME! Total Drama Mushroom Kingdom not only breaks hearts, it also rebuilds them! Who will make it to the Final 3 next episode? What kind of new challenge have I got for the Final 4? Will Mario forgive E. Gadd?
Mario: Yes, he will.
Bowser: Really?
Mario: I feel pretty embarrassed that I didn't give him a second chance, and, and-
Lakitu: That's for next episode! Find out what happens next time on...Total, Drama, Mushroom, Kingdom!