A/N: Hello all and welcome to chapter 28. I can't believe it's seriously been so long. Still this is always a joy to write for even with long periods in between updates at times. So here we are!

Paradox Effect

Summary: Dying sucked. Dying and being killed by the same teammate again? That sucked even more. Dying and being thrown back into Blood Gulch as a girl? That REALLY sucked. Now, Leona Church will have to deal with Tucker's perverted looks, Caboose's stupidity, and worst of all, Tex's laughter…

*Chapter 28*

Leona looked up from her workbench as York walked in, puffing a little and carrying a tree. "Welcome back. Was it too hard to find one?"

"Kinda." York set it down with a huff. "Why are we doing this again?"

"Because we all a vacation from time to time." Leona shrugged and looked at the tree. It was bent a little at the top and a few limbs were missing, but it would settle for a shitty Blood Gulch Christmas. "Put that in the center of the base, will you?"

York shook his head with a sigh, picking the tree back up and carrying it further into the base. "This is without a doubt the weirdest holiday I've ever had…"

Leona rolled her eyes and finished the new combat knife she had been working on. Tex always had a fascination for weapons so she figured she'd appreciate a handmade knife to rip and tear through anything that pissed them off. Like Wyoming for instance.

"Hey Princess." Tucker smirked and leaned against the doorway. "You don't look surprised to see me."

"Tucker, when am I ever surprised by your bullshit?" Leona deadpanned. "Seriously. We've been doing this shit for how many years?"

"It's only been like eight months, dude."

"Bullshit. It feels like I've been here for five years."

"That's because you don't fucking sleep, genius. Seriously, how many hours straight are you going right now?" he asked. "You're starting to worry Tex of all people."

"I don't know." The blue haired woman shrugged. "Two days, maybe? Why, do I look that bad?"

"Yes!" Tucker replied hastily. "You look like Tex beats you. Have you even looked in a mirror lately?"

"Well…no," Leona admitted. "Is it really that bad?"

"Dude, fucking go to sleep. Pushing yourself until you black out is the dumbest shit you've done in awhile," Tucker said. "Don't worry; York and Tex can handle shit."

"And Caboose?" Leona raised her eyebrow skeptically.

"Don't worry. I tied him up outside. He's got a jug of orange juice and a box of cookies. He'll be fine."

"That is less surprising than I'd like."

"Come on, we've seen the shit he's done. Remember when you convinced him that dirt tastes like chocolate? Or the time we told him that one of Tex's sex toys was a rubber arm?" Tucker reminded. "He's a total fuckin' moron. I think O'Malley gave him really bad brain damage. Wasn't he semi competent at one point?"

"Fuck if I know." Leona scoffed and rubbed her eyes with a loud yawn. Okay, Tucker had a point. She needed to sleep some. Otherwise she was gonna pass out. "Just…keep him away from me. My trigger finger gets twitchy whenever he's around. I'm going to bed for the next three years."

"Yep. Don't worry; if one of us cooks anything we'll save you some and a beer," Tucker said. "And if you don't get your ass to sleep, I'll have Tex knock you out herself."

"Kinky."

"Wrong kind of KO dude."

"You're no fun today." Leona got up with a groan, stumbling a little. She hadn't realized how right Tucker was; she was fucking exhausted. Constantly straining her body past its limits was not good, especially in a giant dustbowl in the middle of nowhere. Calling for a medic wasn't the best thing, either. Look at how the last medic turned out. He went apeshit insane and tried to murder everyone.

Now that she actually thought about it, something occurred to her. What if they didn't terminate the Omega AI? She knew it had the ability to jump from person to person without the need for implants like the Alpha could. What if it sensed it was about to lose its host and jumped into someone else? Someone who was…normally a goddamn pacifist.

"…fuck me." The realization hit her like a train and she wanted nothing more than to get some damn sleep. They didn't get rid of Omega. The fucker jumped into Doc. No wonder he let out weird cackles and attempted to murder half of them. His voice even sounded distorted. More enraged than anything. Even Tex wasn't that bad when she had the AI.

Leona stumbled into her room and took one look at the emptiness of her bed. Fucking hell it looked so inviting. The blue haired woman discarded her armor and flopped facefirst into her bed. She was out cold within seconds.

York hummed merrily as he put up the Christmas tree he, ahem, borrowed. He definitely did not sneak into Red Base while everyone was sleeping and stole it. Nope. There was no proof of that whatsoever. There was no sign that said, "Merry Christmas Red Team," hanging above it that he used a can of spray paint to cover. Negative.

Okay in all fairness, where the hell else was he supposed to go to find a tree in the middle of the fucking desert? It's not like he could just walk outside and yank one out of the ground. The only things in Blood Gulch were sand, rocks, and two bases. That's it.

Goddammit. This place fucking sucks. The tan Freelancer was beginning to understand why Leona hated Blood Gulch so goddamn much. There really wasn't anything to do was there?

He almost wished Wyoming would make another shitty attempt on his life, if only to provide some kind of excitement. He definitely was not checking out Leona after she decked Wyoming in the face. Besides, he was pretty sure either A, Leona would kill him, or B, Tex would kill him. Either way, he didn't feel like experiencing an undoubtedly horrible and painful demise.

"Hey, Tucker? Where are you?" he asked, making sure the tree wasn't bent or anything. Oh god the amount of jokes that could be made.

"In here grabbing something to eat. Why, what's up?" Tucker poked his head out of the kitchen with a bag of potato chips in hand.

"I need a hand with this thing. We got any decorations?"

"Uh, not that I know of."

"Where the hell is Leona?" York looked around, unable to spot the current captain of Blue Team. "For the love of God, don't tell me she's going on a murder spree."

"Calm down, dude. I told her to get some sleep and let us handle everything," Tucker reassured.

"Where's Caboose?"

"I tied him up outside."

…

"Why am I not surprised?" York rubbed his head with a sigh. "And where's Alpha? I haven't seen him in awhile."

"Talking with Caboose," Tucker replied. "I figured that could keep him out of Leona's hair for about an hour. Hell it'll keep him busy for a week if he starts asking Caboose math problems."

"We're not that fucking lucky." York chuckled and hummed. They still needed some decorations. He could always raid Red Base again. But that was too much like work. He wanted to utilize the, "Fuck it, we're lazy," option if possible. In other words, make someone else do his dirty work so he could have a beer or two.

"Hey, Tucker?"

"Yeah?"

"…how hard is it to bribe you into running over to Red Base and steal their holiday decorations?" he asked.

"Name what you're offering." Tucker smirked.

"Two of those six packs of beer in the fridge and excused from training for a week."

"Fucking deal, dude. Lemme get armored up." Tucker vanished to go get a better weapon and York smiled to himself. That was a hell of a lot easier than he expected. He thought he was gonna have to twist his arm to do it.

Why couldn't life be this simple all the time?

A/N: And there we go. Finally done. Hopefully I don't need a goddamn month just to type this shit. Thank you all for reading and I'll see you all again soon!

-A Lovestruck A2#5371