Carly didn't want to have to cancel her dad's iCarly birthday bash and last minute in person party they had planned when he had unexpectedly shown up. She really didn't, however she felt like she had been hit by a [taco] truck and couldn't move out of bed the majority of the rest of the day. She felt horrible, and she wanted so badly to tell her dad why she was so ill, however, he didn't know that the iCarly birthday was supposed to be happening.
He only knew Carly was ill (but he wasn't sure if it was from being so emotionally drained, or physical sickness) , and she felt she owed it to him to tell him in person, that calling him after he left would be a cop out.
Sam told Spencer that he should take Colonel Shay out for the day, and spend his father's birthday with him. She would take care of Carly, and it went without saying that they both knew something that colonel Shay didn't, and it was an understanding that they weren't gonna bring it up unless Carly did first, or if it directly affected them or compromised Carly's health.
"Here you go kid." Sam passed her a bowl of soup, and Carly sat up, leaning against the headboard of her bed.
"You made soup?" Carly gestured to the bowl in surprise, noting that it did not look like it was from a can.
"Freddie brought it over, but I told him you didn't wanna see him."
"Freddie? Or did Mrs. Benson make it and load it full of stuff to help me poop again?"
She stirred the bowl inquisitively, studying the noodles and the broth to see if anything looked off with the color or the texture. When she deemed it safe, she slowly sipped it off her spoon, bracing herself for the catastrophe she was convinced was going to happen.
"Are you done?" Sam humorously mocked her, "Freddie made that, he heard you feeling down after this morning and knew food was your love language."
"Oh. That was sweet. He's sweet." She dipped her spoon back into it.
There was dead air between the two, and Sam watched as Carly ate her soup, preparing for what she was going to tell her next. Sam knew boundaries but sometimes she just felt that she needed to tell Carly what she had to hear. Sam used to say "the thought of Carly and Freddie together makes me want to puke up blood", and it was still a little true.
However, Freddie was their friend and as much as Sam hated seeing Carly under so much stress and anxiety, she had to tell Freddie. Avoiding him wasn't going to magically make him not be the father, or her not pregnant, and Sam was overstepping. She was just going to mention it, but she would never go as far to tell Freddie herself. That was Carly's place.
"Carls, I shooed him away this time for you, but you're gonna have to tell him eventually. As sick as it makes me, he's going to want to help you and if you choose to keep this baby, he's going to support you in whatever you choose. Some people aren't as fortunate to have the support system you do."
"Are you trying to guilt trip me with things I already know? Don't you think I already know this? I'll tell him when I'm ready, when I can be assured that I'm not gonna be bound to this relationship, or that he is gonna end up like his mother and our baby is gonna be screwy too."
"I'd keep that baby away from Mrs. Benson if I were you." Sam advised and Carly frowned, beginning to grow agitated.
It was the mood swings in full force already and they still had another seven or eight months to go.
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think he knows? Or at least suspects it? I've been avoiding him like the plague and he's been so nice still, he's really trying Sam."
"I think he knows that he loves you. And that he'd do anything to keep you in his life, whether it be his girlfriend or breaking up to be your friend. He doesn't want to let you go so easily but he cares about you so much that if you wanted to break up to save your friendship, he'd probably agree. Or do everything in his power to prove to you he can make it work without forcing you to stay. Either way, he deserves to know, and he'll be willing to meet you halfway with whatever decision is yours."
"I'm afraid prolonging the breakup is only gonna make us hate each other in the long run, but I also don't want to make him feel like he has to stay and I don't wanna be unhappy."
"If you choose to keep it, co-parenting is an option. It'll be hard, but it's better to have two happy, separated parents, than two who stayed together too long and resent each other."
"How do you know so much?"
"My dad left when my mom got pregnant, and I think it has more to do with the fact that they were together too long and hated each other. My mom isn't the type to be tied down, and he hated that she couldn't commit."
"I'm the one that's supposed to grow up so quickly, and it seems like everyone else all of a sudden has more wisdom about my life than me."
"Well it's your turn to gain some wisdom. And please don't avoid telling him about the baby if you break up with him until afterwards just because you're afraid he'll stay. Tell him when you're ready, but don't avoid it either."
Sam sat next to Carly on her bed, handing Carly her phone off the charger, and setting in firmly in her palm.
"Talk to him; I know you and it will eat you alive if you don't tell him soon. You're terrible at keeping secrets, Miss "Sam changed our grades in the school computer!"."
"Let me live that down. It was wrong." Carly playfully shoved her.
"Never." Sam smirked. "I can stay or I can leave if he wants to come over. You've always got me as backup."
It was then they heard a knock on Carlys bedroom door and they simultaneously whipped their heads around to see Freddie, standing bashfully in the doorway, as if he had interrupted something. He seemed anxious, like he had been listening for long, and anticipating that he'd hear or now be told, something he doesn't want to know. Something that is going to change the course of their lives forever. Had Sam already texted him, or was it just a crazy coincidence? Either way her heart palpitates, and her thoughts tread faster.
"Hey um- I just thought I'd come over to see if you were better, but I see you're busy. I should've texted first judging by your face-" He began to babble and Carly sighed, shaking her head and smiling gently.
"No, come in Freddie- I'm feeling a little better and we're just chilling."
"Nope, I'm not part of this." Sam stands up and grabs a snack off Carly's dresser.
"What happened to back up?" Carly laughs and she shakes her head through a mouth full of crumbs.
"Yeah, until I could feel the awkward coming off of him." Sam points.
Freddie awkwardly sits at the foot of my bed, crossing his legs where Sam had been and looking at Carly, stirring her soup as if it was poison.
"Thank you for the soup." Carly finally says, and he smiles.
"Mom's recipe; Minus the laxatives, of course." Freddie laughs.
Carly nervously shifts under her covers, setting her soup bowl on the nightstand and then leaning against the headboard, one of her pillows tucked against her stomach and arms crossed. The body language screamed that she was nervous and didn't want to talk, but it was killing her inside not to tell him.
He was so patient and gentle, Sam pushed and prodded him until he was thin and rarely did he ever snap. He would make a great parent, he had the traits of being determined, smart, kind. He and Sam fought like cats and dogs, but at the end of the day it was mostly brotherly.
He would want to help her, he knew what he wanted and didn't want, after all, he had a mother he constantly placated to. He stood up to her once and once this news was out, he would set out a boundary again when it came to protecting the people he cared about.
No matter how many times his mother would accuse Carly of destroying her little boy, Freddie was still grown and he knew that and would do everything he could to show it too. There was nothing he'd want to do more than prove that he could be the grown up his mother refused to see him as, but now she would have to accept the fact that suddenly, they were growing up quicker than they were meant to. Whether they kept the baby or not, there was going to be a lot of growth and discomfort in this situation.
Freddie notes that Carly seemed off, she didn't even pity laugh at his joke this time. She looked so serious and though she was quirky and lovable, she could be high strung at times in stressful situations. She always made the best of things in the end, but in the midst of it, it was hard to see the way out this time for her.
She seemed to be struggling to let her guard down and just accept it. Spencer's goofiness, Sam's spontaneity, and Freddie's reassurance was all she usually needed to find a solution, but suddenly, nothing felt like enough.
"What's going on Carly?" He finally breaks the silence, and she looked as if she was holding tears back, her lips in a pout sealed tight.
She began to shake and her breathing sounded uneven. Freddie took the cue to gently rub her leg from beneath the covers, and let her ride it out. He didn't force her to talk, but couldn't help but wonder if it had anything to do with her not wanting to go to Italy.
"I'm sorry, it's all my fault." She fought the tears, barely able to speak.
"Carly, what are you talking about?" He laughs uneasily, glancing at Sam who stands up, and joins Carly's side at the bed.
Sam pulls Carly into her body, resting Carly's head on her shoulder and lets her sob for a few moments. Freddie felt uneasy, guilty as if he had said something wrong though the two had hardly spoken. Sam kept shushing her, reminding her that it was okay, and it wasn't only her fault.
They would get through it together. They, as in the friend group, or as in just her and Sam. Sometimes Freddie felt left out being the only boy, beside Gibby who wasn't around as often as he used to be ever since he got a girlfriend. And Spencer and Freddie no longer had 'Fencing Fridays', as senior year was flying by, despite loads of homework and all.
"I don't think this is how any of us planned to be right now." Sam finally looked at Freddie when Carly had calmed down, looking up and wiping her tears with her sleeves.
"I mean we're all going off to college soon, or taking a gap year, or trying to stay out of prison." He looked at Sam and she glared at him. "We're all under a lot of stress, and just need to take a step back. We don't need to make any final decisions yet; We still have eight months or so until school is over."
"Eight more months until our lives are changed forever." Carly interjects and Freddie felt more lost than ever.
"I'm gonna miss it just being us, here in our own little worlds." Freddie sighs.
"Don't get too comfortable." Carly snaps.
"You're so clueless, Fredward." Sam adds.
"Okay, what in the heck is going on? What aren't you two telling me?"
Carly looked like she was fighting back a second round of tears, and Sam looked at her, waiting for her approval.
"Is this a you and I conversation, or a group one? Because you and Sam keep looking at each other like there's something I don't know. What is it, Carls? You can tell me anything. As long as I'm not covering another bad thing that it caused."
He emphasized the 'it', implying Sam. She had done things over the years and roped him into covering for her or hiding it to keep her out of trouble. And then one year they kissed out on the balcony, and it had undone every secret for him, because suddenly this was the only one that mattered to her that he kept. And even then it wasn't a secret anymore, they promised to always be honest with each other. But now here was Carly, hiding something from all of them.
"Carls, do you need me to-" Sam began but she shook her head.
"Freddie, I'm pregnant." The words fell seamlessly out of her mouth, as if she had been rehearsing them, yet she still sounded so strained; They were painful and scary for her to say.
His breath hitched in his throat, searching his mind for something to say, to own this and say something comforting to the girl that he had just learned he had gotten pregnant. He wanted to scream redundantly, how?! At the same time he wanted to jump back a few minutes to when she had apologized, and reassure her that it wasn't her fault. That it took two.
He was ready to take responsibility and take the burden, but he wasn't God, and he couldn't undo what he had done. What they had done. He felt sick. All the years of dreaming of being with Carly all for it to fall apart in seconds from a one time careless affair.
They had always been careful, but how dumb had he been when he had forgotten protection and they both insisted that one time couldn't hurt. One time was all it too, and the timing was pristine. And now he wanted to go back and scream at them, "Stop", no matter how safe they thought they were. Better safe than sorry, no matter how much they swore up and down that time was in their favor.
"Holy chiz." Was all he could mutter and Carly cried harder. "How?" His voice broke. Suddenly his plans for everything had been threatened.
Is this why Carly had been so distant? Because she felt trapped between ending the relationship and being there with him when she needed him most?
"Freddie, you're smart enough to get into the best tech school in the country, but you're asking how this happened?" Sam sneered.
"How could I be so stupid? What are we gonna do?!" He begins to panic, unable to hold it in.
"You? No one cares that you got me pregnant, they care more about the fact that I'm pregnant at all. They don't care who did it, they care about the fact that I'm the one it happened to." Carly argues.
She starts crying harder, Sam rocking her body and glaring at Freddie. It took two to tango, but until the end of time Sam would always be protective of Carly. She knew it was unfair to solely blame Freddie when Carly had just as much to do with it, but sweet, innocent Carly Shay with her popular web show would be the last person anyone would see this happening to. What would happen to iCarly?
"Freddie, I'm sorry." Carly finally says when she takes a deep breath, the arguing only amplifies the problem.
He takes a deep breath, realizing he wasn't acting very mature and needed a few seconds to gather his thoughts. He was scared, sure, but he could only imagine Carly felt ten times worse. She was the one carrying the problem. Not a problem, he reminded himself, a surprise. A surprise in which he needed to compose himself, because he was sure Carly was just as surprised and scared and the yelling wasn't going to help.
It wasn't this baby's fault that he acted so carelessly. He needed to stay calm for Carly's sake. Not taking responsibility would be wrong, and it wouldn't fix any of the problems. They needed to act level headed. They were mature enough to make the situation, they needed to be mature enough to handle it too.
"This was not your fault. And I will do everything in my power to make sure you know that I will fix this."
"How, Freddie?!" She wails, "How can we fix this? There is no undo button." She whimpers hysterically.
"We can't undo it, but we can do the best with what we were given. Every decision from here on out that you want, I will support. I may not be able to undo it, but I want to give you every chance I can to show you that I will be here for you."
"You're not mad? What about tech school?"
"If I was mad, I'd have to be mad at myself too or I'd be a hypocrite, because this is just as much me as you, when it comes to this having happened. I'm scared, and I'm sure you are too, maybe even more so since you've gotta do all the heavy lifting."
"What about tech school?" She pushes, feeling a tinge of guilt hint in her voice.
"Let's just focus on getting through this first step. Our priorities are going to have to shift. You guys are going to be my priority from here on out and I promise to be there." He grabs his head, spinning from thoughts.
"How are you so calm? I've messed everything up. Including tech school for you, and iCarly."
"Hey, you aren't in this alone. We will find a way to work this out, but I am just as much to blame. Tech school can wait, and it's not like iCarly is gonna be around forever. But we will be."
"I have no idea what I'm gonna tell dad; First I cancel my plans to study abroad and then suddenly I have to cancel a webshow at its peak popularity."
"I mean, it's a lot, but we can prioritize. And it doesn't have to be all at once. Let's just get you checked out and then we can start figuring it out from there."
Freddie reassures her, outreaching his hand to her and squeezes it. He sees tension leave and he wasn't sure if it was because she finally told him or if she felt reassured but he'd do everything his teenage self could with what he had to help her, especially if his mom couldn't or wouldn't. She would be horrified. He wondered how Spencer had taken it. Surely she told him, right? They were close, though not as inseparable as Carly and Sam.
"You're mom is going to give you the scrub down of a lifetime when she finds out you and Carly have been doing the hanky panky." Sam snorts facetiously and Carly laughs while Freddie's face freezes.
"Sam, don't give the poor guy a heart attack, I think he's going through enough." She laughs before growing serious again.
Spencer had set up the appointment for Tuesday afternoon. She would have to tell her dad eventually, it was under his insurance after all. He would be gone by then, back to wherever he was deployed and they wouldn't hear from him for a while. Would it be better or worse if she didn't tell him? She was his little girl after all, and she would feel guilty not telling him, but she was afraid he'd let her down.
Though he had never done or shown her that he would leave her or disown her for a little 'oops', or mistake. He had actually been a prime example of what she wanted in a gentleman, and he and her brother had always been role models, even if Spencer was a little goofy at times. But Freddie had always been by her side too, even though she hadn't always liked him back in the same way, he had supported her and respected her though it all. Why did she assume he would leave now? She had always been her father's Lovebug.
"I have an appointment on Tuesday, and I'd like you to be there if you so choose to be involved." She informed him and he looked offended.
"Is that even a question? He scuffs and she feels herself relax.
Freddie wasn't like most teenage boys. He was kinda nerdy, and when he did get ruffled up it was usually by Sam, and he was patient though sometimes he did get cocky and try to snap back. Usually the outcome was Sam whooping him, but even when he retaliated, they knew he wasn't a real threat.
He wouldn't hurt another human being. Why did Carly think he was gonna act like a jerkface jock and leave her? He obviously was smart and kind, and had a good reputation, one she worried she had tainted, but he owned up and took the partnership real quick. He didn't care, he loved her no matter what. He did have the initial reaction that any teenager would face this difficult situation, but he still was determined to help, something most people would be afraid of.
"Alright, but as the potential godparent, can I be there too?" Sam butted in and Carly laughed.
"I thought you hated children." Carly reminded her. "You said they're gross, and covered in vomit, and sticky all the time."
"Well for one, Mrs. Benson would never let that happen if she's any way involved, and second, you're my best friend. I'm going to be the cool aunt with the butter sock who teaches the kid to stand up for themselves. Even with Freddie as the father, there's not a chance this kid is gonna be a loser."
"Okay, deal. IF we so choose to raise this baby." Carly looks at her and smiles, and for the first time in a few days, she felt like things were going to be alright, no matter what path she chose to take with this.