Carly's leg bounced up and down in the chair of the office nervously, feeling Freddie's hand putting pressure on her thigh to help her relax. That "lump in her throat" feeling made her even more nauseous and she felt tears sting the back of her eyes, imagining that all the other moms there weren't in the same situation. But how could she possibly know that, just simply by noting how calm they all looked. Surely some of them were in the same surprise situation she was.
Sam sat to her left, and Spencer to Sam's left, the four of them taking up space along the wall. The desk attendant had informed them that only one person could go back with her. It was only fair that Freddie would go, though she kind of wanted the support of her older brother who had always been there. However, the pelvic exam she had could create an awkward and uncomfortable situation. It's not like Freddie hadn't seen her bare it all, but still no matter what, it would be scary, weird and uncomfortable.
"Carly Shay?" She hears a gentle voice call over the soft music playing in the waiting room.
She feels Freddie grab her hand and help her to her feet, but when he goes to put an arm around her, she wiggles herself out from underneath his grasp. It wasn't like people didn't already know how it happened, but she still feared judgment of being too affectionate in public. People surely were judging the two teens marching in there.
Carly sat down in the chair, watching the practitioner take a blood sample and feeling squeamish. Freddie offered his hand and she took it, practically sucking the circulation out of it. When it was all done and sealed, they asked her a few questions about her last period, health history, and so on, and then they left. They promised the doctor would be in soon, Carly growing more anxious as she waited.
Carly was instructed to take off her bottoms and put on a paper gown instead. Freddie turned around while she undressed and it wasn't until the cue of the paper crinkling on the table that he turned around, Carly finally settling down in the cold, sterile room.
"I don't know why you turned around, when seeing me naked got us here in the first place." Carly tries to joke, sounding distressed and strained, and knowing that Freddie was only trying to be respectful.
"Good afternoon, Carly. I'm Doctor Lorraine Schefield." She extends a hand, feeling that Carly's was cold and clammy.
She looked young, not quite a graduate, but maybe late thirties, early forties. She had soft skin that looked tired from long days, but her eyes held so much experience. She seemed like this was an everyday exam, and maybe Carly's anxiety was amplifying how she viewed everything. She wasn't here to judge, she was just here to give Carly the best care she could. She had said so herself that she would do everything she could to assure Carly was comfortable, that was the one thing Carly had caught amidst her spacing out for most of the first few minutes.
"I care for a lot of young mothers, and I want to make sure my office is a safe and informed environment for everyone. I want my patients to be able to bring concerns to the table and overall have the best experience."
She snaps gloves on, preparing Carly step by step of what the rundown was.
"Do you have any teens that come here?" Freddie pipes in for Carly, reading her mind.
"Yes, and it's unfortunate how many medical professionals belittle them when it's not our job to judge. Most of the time they come in scared, unsure of what they're going to do, and it's my job to help provide access to the care that they deserve. It's already a hard situation, there's no reason to sit here and reprimand them. It doesn't help anyone, they need support, they already know the obvious."
Carly felt exposed lying spread eagle, and she felt her face flush and her cheeks blush. It was already a hard situation and now the doctor was telling her that she had to insert a duck bill looking, medieval contraption? This whole thing was traumatic enough. She couldn't help but mentally scold herself for letting this happen in the first place. But when all was said and done, and the doctor pulled it out, she felt herself momentarily relax. That was until the ultrasound had been mentioned.
It was about to all feel so real, seeing the baby, hearing its heartbeat fast. It would be all the confirmation she needed despite them already drawing blood and the results coming back positive. It was one of the first things they informed her when the doctor came in, and the ultrasound would only align to that, holding true.
"This is Wanda." Doctor Schefield introduces the big wand looking device and Carly's breath hitches in her throat as her eyes grow wide.
Doctor Schefield laughs gently, and shakes her head.
"Only about an inch of this will go inside, and it will show me your uterus and fetus, since right now, it's probably the size of a poppy seed, and a regular abdominal ultrasound can't read it. Just take a few deep breaths, and I'll walk you through everything we're looking for."
Quickly, the pitter patter of a heartbeat, sounding like a racehorse, filled the room. She shamefully admitted to herself that any last hope she had of it all being a fluke left her body and she was quickly filled with a million new, unnamed emotions. She suddenly cried uncontrollably, and the doctor shut the sound off of the picture as it seemed too overwhelming.
"The ultrasound aligns with the blood test and last menstrual period to say you're about six weeks and two days. If you want to look at the screen, you'll see the little blob right there. That's your baby, wiggling around."
"Oh my-" Carly began but Freddie finished it, equally as scared.
"Gosh. That's the baby? That is going to turn into a whole human being?" Freddie asked and Carly cringed.
"Freddie," She groaned in discomfort and Freddie apologized.
She hadn't thrown up in a solid two hours, but she felt for sure with the news she was going to. It hadn't been the flu, or stress or anything. She, Carly Shay, "Webshow host", was going to have a baby.
The internet was going to hate her, parents were going to look at her as a bad role model, that was Sam's job, she thought. Gen Z was going to cancel her. Or it could go the opposite and she could triumph over this, hold her head high, and for once not let it matter. Her fans would support her through whatever, and it wasn't like iCarly was gonna last forever, right? No matter what would happen they would be okay.
"Oh my-" Carly hurls, leaning into the white bag the doctor had quickly provided.
Once she was finished, the doctor had handed her a wet paper towel, and promised to come back after the paperwork was finalized and printed.
"So, I guess this is it. This is real." Carly finally says after she feels the waves subside.
"I can't believe we're going to be parents." He mutters.
"Not for sure. I mean, can we really do this Freddie?"
"I feel like we already did." He sighs and she feels the waves building again.
"We don't have to do this. We can pursue adoption, I just know I could go through with a termination. Especially not after seeing its little heart beating." She whimpers, feeling sick to her stomach.
"It's whatever you need. I'll support you no matter what."
"Freddie, you don't have to be permissive of your own feelings just to please me. This isn't a little crush anymore, it's a whole human. You're allowed to have your own opinion without fear of repercussions because even though as a mother I have rights, I think this is a huge decision and I need to know how you actually feel so there's no surprises, no complications."
"I haven't given it much thought, because my own mom chose to keep me even though my dad didn't want to be involved, and I thought that was how it always was. Because you're the one who has to birth it. You get the final upper hand because both our lives are changing but you have to actually give birth to it."
"That doesn't help. If I decided I didn't want it and you did, would you raise it on your own? What if you objected to the adoption and didn't tell me?"
"I didn't think about that, but I wouldn't be able to." Freddie surrenders.
"Exactly, so we need to figure out what we want and decide what's actually best for our situation. But if I know you're having second thoughts about adoptions, then it's gonna make things really difficult if you're just going along with me to placate my feelings. We need to be on the same page, and talk about what we're feeling so that there's no surprises."
Carly was a planner, she had always been. And the last thing she needed was a wrench thrown into the mix when she thought everything was good and everyone was on the same page. She had seen so many movies where people buried their feelings and it caused drama. Of course that was all for the spice of the plot, but she feared if Freddie was just stuffing down his feelings to please her, to pretend it didn't bother him, (like he had done for years when she rejected him), that they would be resentful in the end. It was almost like a full circle. She was going to break up with him initially to protect him, and now she was trying to protect herself from him leaving.
She was kind of giving him an out, telling him he didn't have to agree with her, he could leave or disagree if he wanted to. But that would only make it more difficult if they weren't on the same page, and to avoid trouble later on, they'd have to talk about what they wanted. She couldn't protect everyone all the time anymore. The only one she could protect now was the baby deeply nestled inside of her. The one who didn't get a say or decision.
"Here is your paperwork Carly, and I set up another appointment for about a month and a half from now. The papers should tell you everything you need to know, including a number to call my office if a situation arises, and what kind of prenatals we recommend. I would also suggest taking vitamin B6 for your morning sickness. Can I walk you two out to the waiting room?"
Freddie extends a hand to Carly, helping her off the table and helping her hurriedly dress when they realize she had been too distracted to put pants back on. She felt chills race up her spine and she wasn't sure if it had just been the cold and plain, sterile room with pictures of pregnant women and charts along the walls, or the fear.
"Hey Carls, how are you feeling, kiddo?" Spencer stands when he sees her, and he shakes Sam awake next to him.
"We're having a baby." She weakly announces as if they didn't already know what she had just confirmed. She felt faint.
"Lemme see." Spencer snatches the ultrasound from her, the one she had been apprehensive about taking in the first place.
The doctor had said she didn't have to, but Carly could see that Freddie wanted the keepsake, though she wasn't sure why. Maybe just to show the others?
"It looks like a blob." He sort of contorts his face, surveying the picture.
"The whole thing is grainy and looks like that really bad splatter art you tried to sell to that rich dweeb." Sam cuts in and Spencer agrees.
"Let's just get out of here." Carly's voice wavers uneasily, feeling overwhelmed and wanting to push everything out of her mind until school the next day.
As they were walking out, Carly noticed the waiting room had cleared out significantly except for one young girl in the corner, bouncing her knee just as Carly had been doing forty minutes earlier. She looked around Carly's age and Carly thinks that was what made her stand out. She wore a baggy sweatshirt and her sandy blonde waves were hung up on the sides of her face, flat against her face where her tears had stuck them. She looked scared out of her mind, there was no adult with her, just her and her worries.
"I'll meet you in the car; I think I forgot something with the front desk lady." Carly suddenly feigns remembering, and they agree, walking out of the office.
The young girl's hands wrestle in her sweatshirt pocket nervously, and her eyes are fixed on the floor. The office closed soon, and she wondered why she was still sitting there. Even the front desk lady glanced at her, looking annoyed and wondering what the deal was.
Carly wasn't sure why she was so drawn to her, but curiosity killed the cat she supposed. Usually though bubbly and outgoing, Carly wasn't particularly just drawn to people. Despite being very popular on the internet, she was friendly but not exactly just the type to approach strangers unless they talked to her first.
"Hey- are you waiting on a ride?" Carly approached her, unsure if that sounded creepy or if she was prying too much already, coming off strong. She couldn't help it, she had felt drawn all of a sudden, almost as if a whisper told her to stay.
The girl looked up and stammered at first, caught off guard by anyone talking to her, or sounding so kind while at the same time kind of prying. She wasn't sure what the deal was.
"Yeah, my aunt was supposed to pick me up, but she's running late because you see, my cousin is sort of a genius and had some sort of after school function that is more important."
She was seemingly sweet thus far, adopting this conversation as if Carly hadn't just invaded her personal space. But she really hadn't. She just had seen her alone and worried. And this girl seemed to understand and was polite and willing to converse back.
When she informed Carly of her aunt she sounded like she was trying not to talk badly of her family though her voice held resentment and annoyance in it. Carly wondered what kind of aunt would forget her niece at an appointment let alone make her go alone. Pregnancy, assuming that was what she was here for, was scary enough. She couldn't imagine doing this on her own, and was saddened that she was doing this seemingly without support.
"I'm sorry, that sounded so forward and nosy, I'm not usually this nosy, I just saw you alone and now I'm here, blabbering on and probably freaking you out. I'm sorry, I do that when I'm not sure what I'm doing. I just thought you could use a friend."
The young girl weakly smiled, unsure what to make of this, a stranger's apparent kindness coming off kind of awkward, but she seemed sweet and just as scared and she could use this opportunity to make the best of a situation. What were the odds that she met another teen in this situation, especially now when she had felt her loneliest? She just started a new school, and had no friends. Of all places, maybe this was the best to start. Assuming that Carly was the same age as her too.
"I'm sorry, I'm Carly Shay. And apparently I blubber a lot when I'm nervous. Although, you seem to have a lot going on too." Carly gestures around the room before looking at the chair.
"Can I sit?" Carly asks and when cued by the girl, she sits down.
"I'm Ruthie P. And I guess we're both kind of in a weird situation, trying to make the best of it, given that we're both here right now." She sort of laughs, making a clear effort to be friendly back.
Carly felt relief flush over her, glad that it hadn't been as bad as she thought initially. She almost felt drawn to Ruthie as if they had known each other from somewhere, or at least seen each other around.
She seemed very friendly, but her speaking voice was quiet, and almost held a proper transatlantic accent that she hadn't heard except in a girl her age. Of course it sounded young, like maybe Judy Garland? She sounded sweet, and it matched her small body, but something about it was a little off putting, maybe because most people didn't talk that way anymore.
"Where are you from, Ruthie?" Carly asked, intrigued.
"I'm from the Seattle area, I live with my aunt and cousin who adopted me when I was thirteen. They have a reputation and they're a little thrown off by this, the baby. My aunt loves my cousin more than anything in this world, to the point where I don't think she even cares about me. But I want better for this baby and myself, and as soon as I can, I wanna finish school and move out on my own. They don't think I have their smarts to make it, but I want to prove them wrong because I cannot stand them. I believe my goals are more realistic than theirs, not to sound spiteful."
Carly wondered what happened to her parents. Why was she with her aunt and cousin and not her family? She was moved by her motivation to want to make the best out of the situation and use the bad to strive for good. Despite her struggles she seemed like a ray of sunshine, not toxic positivity, but realistic.
How did she end up pregnant? Was she a goody- two shoes like Carly just finding herself in a slip up? Was she the reject of the family? Was she too once very smart and supported and only by a twist of fate stuck here? If she could find the way out, surely Carly could, even if in the end their paths were different. She could be the friend in which they supported each other's journey to the right path. Maybe God did lead her to Ruthie, and that's why the pull was so strong of Carly wanting to talk to her after noticing her.
"I'm sorry, that's entirely too much." Ruthie blushes, noting Carly gone silent.
Carly felt bad she had been so quiet, but she had been pulled into her own thoughts of how crazy it was that she was here right now. And she didn't know this girl, she only felt like she had, and not in a crazy iCarly stalkerish fan type way either. She didn't know this girl, but it was refreshing to meet her.
"No, it's okay. I just- I feel like I've seen you before. But we've never met so it's just funny how it took this type of situation to meet." Carly admits and Ruthie smiles politely.
"Usually when I meet people it's at Webicon, or in the streets, or a creepy stalker or obsessed fan, or this boy who is obsessed with ruining our show." Carly fills her in when Ruthie looks lost.
"Webicon?" Ruthie repeats for clarity, not completely understanding.
"It's a convention, that we don't attend because one year we got kidnapped and another they started a fan war over who Freddie wanted to date more, me or Sam."
Ruthie still looked lost, unsure of what she was talking about, and how it related.
"I do a webshow called 'iCarly' with my friends, Sam and Freddie. And the fans like to argue about who should date who, but I guess that doesn't matter now, because I'm sort of having Freddie's baby."
"That sounds, complicated. I'll have to look it up when I get back if they let me go on the computer. But I think that's pretty neat, Carly. Now we both know something about each other."
Ruthie seemed like the sweetest person, and Carly was saddened that they had to meet here, where they probably would never have appointments align again. She didn't want to lose touch with this girl. She seemed sweet and strong and well balanced, and Carly thought they could use each other, otherwise why would two pregnant teen girls have met on this fateful Tuesday afternoon. Sam would laugh and call it a coincidence, but Carly believed that God was the head of all this.
Carly stood up to grab her phone out of her back pocket, the attendant watching, annoyed that they were still there half an hour later. She should have kicked them out by now, the office closing in a short few minutes, but she was intrigued and a bit invested in their bond.
"Here's my number, I'm really hoping that we can keep in touch. I know I could use a friend this time, and I'd love to be a friend too." Carly smiles.
Carly accepts Ruthie's phone, creating a new contact in the list while Ruthie does the same with hers, no questions or hesitance. Ruthie secretly felt relief, happy feeling equally as happy to have met Carly as Carly did her.
"It's been really nice meeting you, Carly." Ruthie relays kindly, passing Carly back her phone after entering her number in it.
It was then that Carly left, asking Ruthie if she needed a ride or if she wanted her to stay longer, but Ruthie admitted that her aunt had texted her a few minutes earlier, waiting outside. Was her aunt so embarrassed to be seen that she couldn't pick her own niece up inside? What was the whole story?
Carly thought she seemed like a sweet girl and a great friend, but there was still something so sad and off putting about her whole family dynamic and how neglectful her foster family seemed, and nosy little Carly Shay just wanted to know. Unfortunately for her, she would know soon enough.